Kingdom Hospital (2004) s01e05 Episode Script

Hook's Kingdom

Dr.
Hook to trauma one.
Stat.
Welcome back to the Kingdom.
We've been expecting you.
Should I finish him off? Knock yourself out.
Officer Anderson? What's wrong? Priscilla just left Gene for Richard.
But she'll be sorry, because Gene is the talented one.
I'm going to need to look under that cloth, ma'am.
I don't see why.
It's a cut-down tray for an IV.
Mr.
Pedersen was in there for 24 hours with no security, and nobody assassinated him.
Well, that was an oversight.
Can I look under the cloth, ma'am? Not until you call me Carrie.
No! I'm through fooling around.
Antubis! Antubis, come! What the hell is that? A problem.
But not an insurmountable problem.
Mary The little girl You're awake.
Can you open your eyes again, Mr.
Rickman? Peter? Were you dreaming of a little girl? "She needs help.
"The other one wants to hurt her.
" The old lady will hear me.
Please.
Hey.
He woke up.
He spoke to me.
Really? What did he say? Something about a little girl.
And then he went back to sleep again.
Dr.
Hook said that even if words and their meanings were lost on him, that the sound of a voice would comfort him, so This is 19 hours worth.
Peter this is Silence in Babylon.
Oh, look at you.
Mrs.
Rickman.
Nat He did speak, and that's a good sign.
The best.
All right here goes.
"On a windy night in november, "when the streets of New York City were still glazed with ice, "and not even the buses were moving, "a young man named Eugene Gant ducked into a coffee shop on 2nd avenue" "he pulled a greasy notebook and broken pencil from his coat.
" Good morning, Nat.
Morning.
- You got him listening, I see.
- Well, it was your idea.
And if it works, I get the credit.
If it doesn't, I don't get the blame.
Carrie said that he spoke a little just before I came in.
It was something about a little girl.
Natalie, there's a woman I'd like to bring in to see your husband, if you don't mind.
A doctor? No.
Actually, it's another patient, a woman named Sally Druse.
and she seems to -- this is going to sound crazy, but she seems to have some some psychic talents.
You're kidding.
Actually, I'm not.
What in the world are you talking about, Dr.
Hook? Well, I'm not sure that I can explain, but, I'll try.
Now, how many of you had the chance to read at least, let's say, the first third of the book? I read it all, Reverend Jimmy.
I couldn't put it down.
And what did you make of it, Jack? Well it's pretty clearly an existential struggle between purpose and lack of purpose.
In this case, symbolized by Gene Gant's inability to finish his book or commit to Priscilla.
And hot steamy sex.
You forgot to mention that one, didn't you? Hey.
Frankie, what you doin'? Sit down.
We all have an equal chance to discuss the book.
You know that.
He's in the freakout zone now, Reverend Jimmy.
You better watch out.
Frank do you have something you'd like to say about the book? I shot a harpoon at Daniel Boone.
Yo, yo, yo, Frankie, baby.
Come on, now, sit down.
Be quiet.
Frank, do you have something you'd like to say about this week's book? I shot a harpoon at Daniel Boone.
The little girl will be here soon.
Her name is Mary, and that's not all.
There's a bad boy, too, his name is Paul.
Have another shot of rubbing alcohol, there, Frankie.
I wrote this book in wombat butter.
Hamstrings running west! Don't be cruel, stay in school! Wasted voodoo! He hit the painterand jumped off the roof.
Frank, I think you should sit down.
Tony's a phony.
It's all baloney.
Osama's a farmer.
Mother's the best bet, and don't let satan draw you too fast! Frank I want you to sit down and catch your breath.
- I'll get you a glass of water.
- A lonely man danced a thousand came.
I think I lost it! Let me know if you come across it! Oh, the dog biscuits! When he's happy, he don't get snappy! I don't want harmony! I want harmony! I want french canadian bean soup! Sadness is a turnpike at 2:00 in the moaning, and all the radio preachers foaming.
Frank, just sit down, catch your breath.
It's all right.
It's all right.
The sidewalk was in trouble, and the bears were in trouble, and the doctor killed the boy, and the boy wouldn't stay dead, and she screamed out green smoke! Let him alone! Frank, what's wrong? It's in my head.
It wants to undress my future.
What future? Oh, my poor head exploding! - We need to pray.
- It's trying to get out, and it hurts! All out for the circus, and mary rings her bell.
- What do we do, reverend? - I don't know.
MC Frank Eminem, eat at your heart out.
- Is he alive? - Yes.
Someone call the hospital.
Why do you do that to me, Hook? I understand you're joining the keepers tonight.
Ohidiocy.
Ah, you'll be fine.
There's the initiation ceremony, of course.
No one's been hurt, well, seriously hurt, since Dr.
Fulcher lost the tip of his tongue, but that was what back in 1999? The last century.
What are you talking about? "Dr.
Stegman to O.
R.
One.
Dr.
Stegman, stat.
" Sounds like you've got a live one.
- What do we have? - I am not a physician.
I am not allowed to interpret scan results.
Oh! Oh! Ah! - It's a tumor.
- I know that, infant.
- What kind of tumor? - Glioblastoma multiforme.
That's latin for "there's a homicidal octopus growing inside his brain.
" Lord, we pray for our brother, poor old Frank.
He is afflicted and suffering.
We ask that you surround him in your love.
Can you guys tell me what kind of episode he had? He started channeling Marshall Mathers on the Eminem network.
He seen the Holy Spirit and started speaking in tongues.
He just went crazy, that's all.
Gloves! Gloves, anybody? And how are you today? Fine.
So in closing, let me sum up my basic points.
There are five.
The first is that operation Morning Air is new.
The second is that operation morning air is cheap.
The thir Yes, Julie? Dr.
James, there are two - two employees here to see you.
- Send them in.
Send them in.
"They say they can't come in until you tell them they can.
" Abel, Christa, what an unexpected pleasure.
Come in, do come in.
- May we? - May we really? Yes, by all means.
Hold my calls.
So nice to see you up in the sunlight.
Coffee? Julie makes the most wonderful dry roast.
We don't swallow caffeine drinks.
- Except for nozz-a-la.
- Well, I make it a point to have one myself.
Every four years or so.
So, what can I do you for? We've never asked for a favor before, have we? No, never.
But we'd like a favor now.
Anything I can do.
Anything.
Ya know, he looks a little like Elmer.
What? Elmer Traff.
Oh, well, if you say so.
It's just jelly to prevent corneal abrasions during surgery Christine, you wanna move the instruments tray a little closer, please.
- Yes, doctor.
- Thank you.
I'm fine here.
Nurse, would you put on the Beethoven? And don't spare the volume.
Yes, doctor.
This is a homeless person, I believe? So I hear, doctor.
Okay.
I'm not going to bite you, doctor what's your name? - Goopta? Goopta.
- Gupta, sir.
Gupta.
Goopta.
Stegman and Goopta.
That's marvelous.
Here.
But you may want to go a little wider with the flap here, allow yourself more room to accommodate the swelling.
Less distortion and brain shift for the neuronav.
Okay, everybody, are we ready? Anything on the MRI report, Dr.
Goopta? Uh, Gupta, sir.
We can resect the main tumor mass and biopsy for a definitive diagnosis, but these margins are too near the blood supply.
Well, it's too near the blood supply of a vagrant, Goopta.
You won't be paid for any good you do, and the medi-mal lawyers won't hear about your boo-boos.
Time to learn.
You look wonderful in that.
- It's the same as yours.
- Well you look better.
I've been looking for you.
I want to talk to you about Rickman and Mrs.
Druse.
- Is Mrs.
D.
Still seeing ghosts? - Afraid so.
- I've seen something even worse.
Look at this.
- Ah, take a care.
Needles.
No, not in this one.
It's just Thousands of dollars worth of medicine in my hands, and all of it is past the use-by date.
It's very sad.
The waste in this place is very sad.
Why are you smiling? It's not just this, you know.
I've had a request in for a phase contrast microscope since last year.
I need it for my Parkinson's and L-dopa studies, so one finally comes in, and do you know where Steg routes it? - Lou traff and the sleep lab.
- Yes! Where they already have one.
- Two? - Would you like to see the real kingdom, Chris? Let me get this straight.
You actually saw this little ghost girl? I saw something.
And Mrs.
Druse believes that Peter Rickman knows something about her? - Right.
- Even though he's in a coma? I don't believe him to be in a coma, but that's close enough.
And she also believes that he's in danger? From what, the spirits? Perhaps she'll tell us that herself.
Hop on.
Next stop, Hook's Kingdom.
I enjoy these indigent patients, Dr.
Goopta.
Well, the hospital does not enjoy them, sir.
They cannot pay.
Well, they can't pay, they can't complain.
You got it? This lesion is being extremely aggressive.
This lesion is being a spiral galaxy of malignant cells, Goopta.
Don't look at me.
He's all the way under.
"Don't look at me, I am all the way under.
"Take the spiral galaxy out of my head.
" - I should have left a trail of bread crumbs.
- Nah, Blondi would just come along and eat them.
My god, we must be under the new parking garage by now.
Further.
If you dig straight up, you'd probably be on the other side of the Lyngby road.
- Watch out.
- Got it.
Now are you sure he's under? He's maxed for his body weight.
I can't give him any more.
You see, neurosurgeons must learn to perform under pressure, unlike other, lesser physicians, like anesthesiologists, who can't seem to do their job.
All right So you think you can close up that nut there, Dr.
Goopta? It's Gupta.
That's what I'm saying.
Gupta, Gohpta, Goopta.
All right, calm down.
Premature waking is not unheard of, especially when the gas passer is manifestly incompetent.
Good afternoon! Sir? I think you're going to find yourself feeling a lot better.
Not to mention a pound or two lighter.
Oh, Lord.
There's an angel standing beside you, doctor.
Yes, an angel.
I'm sure.
You should take that as a compliment, my dear.
Now, do we have a whiff of something for our vigorous vagrant here? She has a bell.
I don't understand any of this.
There was another hospital here until 1939.
Private Very well endowed.
Cochray Hospital.
Those who remembered it, and their number shrink daily called it the Old Kingdom.
- What happened to it ? - Burned to the ground.
This is all the remains of the Old Kingdom.
She has a bell.
Well Do you have to ? I'm afraid we have to reintubate you, Mr Whatever-Your-Name-Is.
Will you hurry up please, before he vomits and .
Oh! Imbe Get the - Dr Stegman, I did - All right, all right, now.
Whatever happens now, the surgery on his nut was a splendid success.
Good luck with his thicker, ladies and gentlemen! This lesson is over, Dr.
Goopta, Gupta, Whatever If the patient doesn't live to appreciate our work, well, that's a few more dollars the city can devote those He should be up on charges.
- Yeah.
Put it in writing.
I'm signing it.
- Sure your immigration papers are in order.
Yeah perhaps you're right.
Perform body's Can you hold this crash card closer please.
Clear! You might wanna keep your hands inside.
s You wanna try it again, Dr.
Gupta? No No, he's gone.
So, what is just being a street person just as the excellent Dr.
Stegman was telling us.
Called you an angel.
Wasn't looking to me.
Ya know, he looks a little more like Elmer with his eyes closes, don't you think? - A little maybe.
- Mostly, right now, he's looking dead.
Cover him, please.
Welcome to my home! - You don't really live here? - I do.
You never so humble, in all that jazz.
- I have to make a call.
- Sure.
You look much nicer in yours.
You aren't going to tell me all of that are hospital supplies.
Even the Bible says : "Take a little wine for that belly's sake".
He was originally intended for the terminal, unsunshined ward.
Any patients of course.
A little wine perks them up amazingly.
Yeah.
I read the studies.
Got diverted down here by a conservative contingent, who believes the only job alcohol has in the hospital, is to swaddle wounds.
The more it stinks, the better.
This champaign is excellent.
I have a bottle on the fridge.
Join me? - Little early, don't you think? - Sound over the yard, somewhere in the world.
Besides I wanna show you something before Mrs.
D.
gets here.
What do you say? I say yes.
Good girl! - Porterly! - Yes, Doctor? Do you know what kind of car I drive? No Finish this hook.
"Physician heal thy" - Heal thy what? - Heal thy what! Good! Found the issue.
Have a lovely day.
Excuse, I don't suppose you're Mister Goode.
Right ? Nope Jackie Gleason.
Just like in 'The Honeymooners'.
Norton! Nice to meet ya! You don't know where Mr Goode is? Wait! Don't tell me His teeth? Today, it's the wife teeth.
But I could leave him a memo, if there something you need, Doc! Not at all! I'm just .
Just crackingly perfect.
Good afternoon Doctor! Looks comfortable.
It is Like the fable bicycle it's built for two.
Okay, what is it ? Right now, I guess you might call it a hoppy.
But some day There is a price to be paid, for evil and incompetence.
I can't believe that, I think I go mad.
"Natalie "Natalie "Natalie, if only you knew "I could see you.
"If only you knew I was here.
"Nat "I'm here.
" Peter and just talk to me, and tell what to do.
Psychic old ladies! You know, a week ago, we would have laughed.
I'm not laughing now, babe.
I'm not laughing now.
Poor Peter you have to be careful.
How can I be careful, when I can't move? Can't talk? Where's Antibus? I don't know.
See, the small crosses indicate a mistake, and the larger crosses indicate malpractice.
- Mona Klingerman, for example.
- Mona's not dead.
Well Might be better for her if she was.
Andrew Parents.
Not to mention Steg.
I see you have me down for Steven Brodky.
That was a mistake, not malpractice.
Look at the size of the cross.
"Give him 400.
" I calculated a 400 milligrams dose.
Two milligrams per pound, for a 200 pounds male.
Except it was supposed to be 2 milligrams per kilogram.
- So it should have been 180 millis.
- Yeah.
Of course.
But I was thinking about tennis.
Rosella Winston and I had a doubles match that afternoon, and those two self-confident witches had already beaten us.
Twice.
"Give him 400.
"I need remember to go to my backhand" Lona Massingale was there, too.
In fact, she gave the injection.
But it's not her name in your little graveyard, is it? There's no crosses in Lona's row.
Well, Lona never takes the lead on anything, you know that.
I had a teacher in med school, talked about O.
R.
Fever.
- Lona has got a classic case of it.
- Never mind.
You're right.
I ordered the injection.
Because I was thinking about tennis.
So I mixed up my pounds and kilograms.
Tell me, Hook, who made you judge, jury, and executioner? I've been as hard on myself as anyone else.
Harder.
I noticed that.
Which is why I haven't walked out of here.
"Give him 400.
I need to remember to charge the net.
"Give him 400.
I need to remember to wait on the lob.
" And also, you're right.
I screwed up.
Maybe there are degrees.
What are you going to do with this? I don't know.
- But it doesn't end here, does it? - No, I've got tapes, photos, records.
Enough to blow half the doctors in here sky high.
Including yourself? For that street person there alone, I was hung over.
But what the hell Just a street person, right? One less chair at the A.
A.
Meeting on thursday night.
I just pronounced you dead.
What the hell are you talking about? Well, maybe it was being your twin brother.
Can you meet me in the morgue in half an hour? You'll be amazed, I promise you.
- Okay.
Half an hour.
- Half an hour.
That'd be Mrs.
D.
Will you stay for this? I really need you.
If it involves getting Stegman's panties in a bunch, I'm in.
Thank you.
I would give anything to take it back.
- Do you believe that? - Oh yeah.
I feel the same way.
Do you believe that? Yes, which is exactly what makes your little hobby so grotesque.
I believe that's for the lady.
Here you are, Dr.
Draper.
Take a look and see if it's what you want.
There are three in the annex, all a little different.
If it's wrong, I'll take it back.
Is it right? It's perfect.
Bobby, hold this, honey, please.
Dr.
Hook, what is all this? Ah, those Oxydomin.
The latest in designer opiates.
90% pain relief, zero narcotic high.
The approximate value of what you've got in your hands there, Mrs.
D.
$30,000.
I'm sure the price will go down once they start mass production.
Well, what what is it doing here? Well, hmm, that's that's a long story.
- Champagne? - If you're buying, I'm drinking.
Me too.
After you.
Wait till you see this.
It's being the spitting image of you.
That's your twin brother.
I don't see it.
There now do you see it? - Yeah, maybe.
- I mean, he's heavier, but I'm telling you, that could be your twin brother.
Come on, a little more.
How do you like that, you fleabag? Now, die here.
Antubis! "Nat "Natalie.
"Help her!" You're mine now, short-time.
You're all mine.
Antubis! Antubis! Antubis! Thanks to RaceMan
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