Knight Rider (1982) s03e07 Episode Script
The Rotten Apples
All you bad apples, | welcome to Sage City.
Big Ed, l say we fire up | this baby right now and grind those apples | into sauce.
Look, if you wanna find out | about Big Ed why don't you just take a | little peek inside of his safe? That all of my equity is in my | livestock.
No livestock, no equity.
Rebecca Hammond lost 20 calves | to rustlers this morning.
He's onto us, Alfred.
Am I seeing double? Knight Rider, | a shadowy flight into the dangerous world | of a man who does not exist.
Michael Knight, | a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
How much farther to Sage City? | This is Sage City.
As for the Right-On-Ranch it's exactly 3.
5 miles.
| 3.
5 miles.
Good.
Maybe we'll be in time for | a little country breakfast.
Bet the comforts of home would feel mighty good | to you about now.
Soft, perfumed sheets breakfast in bed, | a nice hot bubble bath.
How does that sound? Like | you've never been to the Bronx.
No.
Can't say that l have.
| Cat, listen.
Just the cactus | sucking wind.
Cat, there's somebody | out there.
l know it.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, get in.
Let's go.
l'm not going to lose this ranch, | Cat.
l've got too many plans for it.
You get off this land, | you cactus sucking KlTT, did you hear those shots? | I'm afraid I did, Michael.
All right, | find out where they came from.
Michael, | those shots are coming from the Right-On-Ranch.
Hey, they're getting away! | Not if l can help it.
KlTT, we're in scanning range.
| Give me a hard copy, will you? Looks like rustlers, pal.
| Welcome to the wild, wild west.
Let's go get them, pal.
Jump, Cat, jump! You don't | have to tell me twice! What kind of truck is that? | A real big one, KlTT.
Michael, there's a young woman | up ahead.
Judging by the way she's thrashing | about, I don't think she can swim.
Come on.
l got you.
You okay? Oh, yeah, sure.
l just lost | another 20 head of cattle.
My pick-up looks like it went | through a giant can crusher and this just happens to be a new | outfit and a new pair of boots.
Why shouldn't l be okay? Who are you anyway? You're welcome.
Name's Michael Knight.
| l'm from the Foundation.
Where are all the others? What others? For all the trouble l had convincing | Devon Miles that l needed help l thought he'd send an army or at | least a bunch of reformed muggers.
Well, l'm sorry, but what | you see is what you get.
And what you saw is only part | of what you're up against.
There's also some cowboys, | truckers, snakes of all persuasions.
Any idea who they are? Yeah.
The bad guys.
The bad guys.
Can you give us a lift back | to the ranch? Yeah, sure.
l want to check out | the Sheriff.
There is a sheriff | in this town, isn't there? Yeah.
Lots of luck.
Don't you dare.
Keeping an eye on you.
Well, looks like | the hoosegow's over there.
Hoosegow? Is that something | like ''moo cow''? No, it's not something like moo | cow.
lt's western for jail, buddy.
Don't tell me, they even have | their own language? It appears | there's no one home.
KlTT, where's | the Shaggy Buffalo? Right across the street, | Michael.
lt's taken.
Very nice.
At least someone around here | has an ear for good music.
lt's not the song, | sweetheart.
lt's the singer.
My name's Marilyn, | like in Monroe.
My name's Michael, | like in Knight.
Showtime is over, | Miss Marilyn.
Time to get your apron from your | room, and do some honest work.
Hope to see you again, Michael.
| lt would be my pleasure.
Can l buy you a drink, stranger? No, | thank you.
l'm looking for the Sheriff.
Well, you don't have to look far.
| Little brother, someone here to see you.
Seen him enough? | lt's about Rebecca Hammond.
She lost another 20 calves | to rustlers this morning.
Rustlers? You've been watching too many | late-night movies, boy.
Then what do you call this? l call that a truck, taking | a bunch of calves to market.
Yeah, except they're someone | else's calves.
Says who? Says Rebecca Hammond.
| Her brand's on them.
Well, let me tell you something | about Rebecca Hammond, boy.
She's a rancher about like | Marilyn over there is a singer.
She don't care nothing | about cattle.
She only bought that spread so | she'd have a place for her kids.
What kids? A bunch of bad apples she picked | up off the streets of New York City.
And now she wants to | bring them out here so's they can terrorize our | decent, law-abiding citizens.
l'll tell you one thing.
The only one going to be doing | any terrorizing around here is me.
Will you put | that thing away, Lance? You a friend of Miss Hammond's? Yeah.
Well, then, | maybe she'll listen to you.
l happen to know the | Unified Ranch Corporation has made her an offer | on her place.
A very fair | and reasonable offer.
And if you're really her friend, | boy, you'll see that she accepts it.
You got that? | Yeah.
Yeah, l got it.
Now, why don't you tell the Sheriff to | get off his brains and get the rustlers? Get me Devon, will you, pal? Well, Devon l think there's something | you failed to tell me.
Really, Michael? | And what is that? That is Rebecca Hammond's real reason | for buying the ranch in the first place.
Oh, I take it | you mean the children.
Michael, | what on earth is that? Something tells me, | the bad apples.
They've arrived.
Well, | Michael, I won't keep you.
Just remember, children | are the flowers of mankind.
Death.
Flowers? Hmm.
l'll keep that in mind.
Bizarre.
Be careful, Michael, | there's just the two of us.
Yeah.
| A mean scene.
Miss Hammond, | l think it's them.
Man, what did l do | to deserve this? Two steps down, Joanna.
| Hi, you guys.
Welcome.
| l'm glad you finally got here.
Joanna, l've missed you, | you sweetheart.
All you bad apples, | welcome to Sage City.
All right what did you do | with the driver? He quit.
He quit? When? | After the breakdown.
The bus broke down? | No, the driver.
Forty-five minutes out | of New York City.
No guts.
Who drove? What difference does it make? | We got here, didn't we? He's got a point.
Whose side are you on? All right, all right.
Back on | the bus.
Let's go to the ranch.
You mean, | this ain't the ranch? Miss Hammond.
| Did you get everything, Blue? Yes, ma'am.
Even | the Coney lsland hot dogs.
Cat, you get to | drive the bus.
Come on, Joanna, | you go with me and Blue.
Hey, come on.
| We've got ways to go here.
l'll meet you out there.
We've | got a few things to talk about.
Well, l think it's time we sashayed | down to the old homestead, partner.
I think I liked you better | when you spoke rock 'n' roll.
Time is running out.
| Maybe there's another way.
You do anything | you have to, Alfred.
And if that long drink of water | gives you any trouble at all you just let me | handle him.
So, you're a rancher, or a mother | hen to a bunch of bad apples? Which is it? | Both.
And they're not | bad apples, really.
They just haven't fallen | far enough from the tree.
They've been battered and abused and | used and left to fend for themselves.
Even Joanna? | Especially Joanna.
She's been blind since birth, kicked around | more times than an ltalian soccer ball.
lf you haven't guessed already, Michael, | my real occupation isn't ranching.
l'm a child psychologist.
| l kind of got that feeling.
By the way l handle the kids? | No.
By the way you tried to milk that | cow which turned out to be a bull.
Seriously, Rebecca, l do admire | the way you handle the kids.
Thanks.
Anyway, l came to the conclusion | that all the testing and counseling, and | understanding in the world didn't mean a thing if after | those kids left my office they just went back | to the streets.
So you bought | the Right-On-Ranch.
With my savings and every penny | l could beg, borrow, or steal.
See, l figured if l could bring | a bunch of them out here with me for maybe a year let them work the place, share | in the profits, if there are any.
Or even give them a | second chance? Right.
But this is my first group and if l lose any more cattle, | it may be my last.
Cat and Blue are the only | hands l've been able to hire.
So l need some help, Michael.
Rebecca, that's what l'm here | for.
l'm behind you all the way.
Yo, | that's one bad car, man.
Hey, man, there's not a car made Diablo | can't rip off or chop up any day of the week.
I guess, Monday's | not a day of the week.
Oh, wow.
Bizarre! Oh, man.
What a freak-a-zoid.
| Now l'm getting mad.
Don't get mad, friend, get in.
Well? Hey, dude, l'm from 125th | Street.
l don't impress easy.
Oh, really? Well, | we'll see about that.
Killer wheels, man.
A real punk-out.
What's the 125th Street kid | have to say now? Don't touch the eject button.
| Hey, come on, dude.
lmpressive.
Unified Ranch Corporation, | what do you know about them? Nothing, really.
Except that they're buying up a | lot of the ranches around here.
Who's behind them? | l don't know.
Don't cry.
l'm here.
Everything's going | to be all right.
ls anyone there? ls there someone there? You just be real quiet | and l won't hurt you.
That's Joanna.
lt sounds like | it's coming from the barn.
KlTT, meet me at the barn.
| On my way, Michael.
Joanna, it's okay.
| lt's me, Michael.
KlTT, run some | interference for me.
Right away, Michael.
Man, you just knocked | my socks off.
Yes, well, put them back on.
| It gets cold here at night.
You're okay, Joanna? | l found this in the barn.
Excuse me.
Hey, partner, | how about the ingredients? Two parts C21, H22, N2O 2 and one part S2O4.
Doesn't sound like the recipe | to Mom's apple pie, does it? It's a deadly poisonous alkaloid, | Michael.
Mixed in with the feed it's enough to destroy at | least a thousand head of cattle.
Poison? | Yeah, you heard me.
And it was found | in Rebecca Hammond's barn.
Now this goes | beyond rustling.
l want something done | about this.
ln her barn, you say? She ought to be more careful | than that.
Here, l'll just take that | for evidence.
You take it, | you take it the hard way.
You listen here.
l'm the Sheriff and if l say l want that for evidence, | then l'll take it for evidence.
Ain't that right, Big Ed? | Tell me are you a betting man, | Mr.
Knight? Yeah.
You see that | bucking bronco over there? Oh, that thing.
l thought that | went out with the hula hoop.
l'll bet that Lance can stay | on that longer than you.
And if he doesn't? Then you walk out of here | with the evidence.
Of course, you can always | walk out of here right now without it.
Well? Let's go for a ride.
Guests first.
Brother Alfred | will do the honors.
Hang on to this for me, | will you? Michael, be careful.
l've seen real live cowboys | break their back on that bronco.
Real cowboys? | Rodeo champs.
Rodeo champs? Snapped right in two.
| ln two? Thanks for | the vote of confidence.
Ride it, cowboy.
Come on, Michael.
You okay? | Piece of cake.
Twenty seconds.
| Twenty seconds? That's right.
Let her rip.
| Ride it, Lance.
Ride it, baby.
Who are they kidding? He's got more of a chance of | falling asleep than falling off.
Ten seconds.
Ten seconds, | and still dancing.
Hey, partner, there's a bronco in here | that needs a little bit more juice.
Coming right up.
More juice, KlTT.
Nineteen seconds.
| Nineteen seconds.
My champion.
Just call me | Bronco Knight.
Thanks, buddy.
Big Ed.
| Yeah? l think l figured out another | way to get rid of Rebecca Hammond.
Once and for all.
| Good idea, brother Alfred.
Meantime l got some house cleaning | of my own.
Michael, why do I | get the feeling that Home On The Range wasn't | written with us in mind? l hear you, pal.
And if l ever catch you in Sage City | again, you'll be singing up on Boot Hill.
Maybe we've got | someone else on our side.
Yeah? Well, for your information, | Sage City is Boot Hill.
Marilyn.
There's a bus | pulling out of here in 10 minutes, and l'm going to be | on it.
You won't miss it, l promise.
Well? Tell me what you know | about Big Ed Barton? He's a rat.
What more | do you want to know? Why is this rat so anxious to | move Rebecca Hammond off her ranch? l'm not sure, but l think it has | something to do with those kids.
Yeah, well, l don't.
Have you heard anything about | this Unified Ranch Corporation? Yeah, l think l heard Big Ed and | his brothers talking about it once.
Do you remember anything they said? No.
But, look, if you want to | find out about Big Ed why don't you just take a | little peek inside of his safe? Safe? ln his office behind the saloon.
Being a crook himself, Big Ed | doesn't trust the banks.
He keeps his entire life | locked inside that safe.
Okay.
Thanks.
Well, l got a bus to catch.
| Yeah.
You You know where to? Yeah.
Wherever it's going.
See you around, Michael, | as in Knight.
Take care, Marilyn, | as in Monroe.
All right, KlTT.
We've got to | get in Big Ed Barton's safe.
In broad daylight? Michael, even the most | desperate desperado Is something wrong? There's a puddle on the ground | where the bus was parked.
What do you make of that? Michael, it's brake fluid.
And I also detect some | steel filings on the ground.
Oh, no.
| The brake lines are cut.
All right, you bad apples.
Let's | keep it down to a small roar, okay? Okay.
| All right.
All right, you guys.
Get down.
Now! Michael, we're close enough for | me to microlock the wheel system.
lt's too risky, pal.
| Once we jam her she won't have enough strength | to keep the bus under control.
Pull up close to her bumper.
Michael, | what are you going to do? All right.
Take over, pal.
l got it.
Go! All right, KlTT, give me | all the microlock you've got.
Right away.
Everybody okay? You okay? | Yeah, all right.
All right, stay cool.
| l'll have KlTT tow you back.
l don't understand it.
l just | had the bus safety checked.
Don't worry.
lt wasn't | a mechanical failure.
Somebody cut the brake lines.
Big Ed, l say we fire up | this baby right now and grind those apples | into sauce.
Not with that guy Knight around.
He's | more trouble than a Texas twister.
We're gonna be safer sticking | with our original plan.
There we were on the trail of one of the meanest | outlaws this side of the Rio Grande.
''We''? Well, actually, | l was by myself at the time.
You familiar with | Billy the Kid? Let's see.
Billy the Kid.
Real name.
: | William Bonney, Born.
: 1860.
Died.
: July 13th, 1881.
l'm talking about | a different Billy the Kid.
Mine spelt his with two D's.
I'm sorry.
| You should be.
Besides, l ain't got time to | stand around talking to no car.
l got dogies to round up.
Sure l can't change | your mind, Blue? l'm sorry, ma'am but ever since l started working for you, | the guys in town are not talking to me and the gals just ain't | smiling the way they used to.
l don't mind the guys | not talking.
l understand.
l did fix your brakes for you, though, | and mended the fence on the south pasture.
Thank you, Blue.
That's nice.
Hey.
l got some good news.
| l can use some.
Reinforcements are on the way.
| Devon's coming.
Devon's coming? | That's it? Devon's coming? Oh, God.
We barely escape death because | somebody cut the brake line.
My one able-bodied hand quits.
The bank is going to foreclose on my | mortgage if l lose any more cattle and you tell me Devon's | coming.
Wait a minute.
What's this about the bank? Why | didn't you tell me about that? l just found out in town, that all | of my equity is in my livestock.
No livestock, no equity.
No equity, no Right-On-Ranch.
You know what else | they told me? They told me that l should accept the | Unified Ranch Corporation's offer and sell.
Well, did you give them | both barrels or just one? l told them that | l'd think about it.
Don't look at me that way, | Michael.
Maybe it's just not worth | any more fight.
lf l really thought you | believed that, l'd say okay.
lt's your ranch.
| lt's your dream.
Hold up the white flag, | surrender the fort.
But come on, that's not you | and that's not me.
We've got them whipped, boss.
| They just don't know it yet.
Devon, l need some answers.
ls it a corporation | or isn't it? Unified Ranch lncorporated is what | is known as a closed corporation.
lt has one majority | stockholder.
Unfortunately, the only way to | uncover his identity is to find out who actually holds | the securities themselves.
lt's got to be the Bartons.
| Yes, that may well be.
Unfortunately, at this moment in time, | it's going to be difficult to prove.
Time's the operative word, | Devon.
Rebecca's running out of it, | along with her cattle.
Michael, if you think about it, | none of this makes any sense anyway.
Why would anyone want to | buy Rebecca's ranch enough to go to these lengths? | Bonnie's right, Michael.
Ranching is one of the most depressed | businesses in the country today.
Who says they want Rebecca's | ranch for ranching, anyway? What other purpose could there | be? l don't know, Devon but it's gotta be big, because | they sure want it bad enough.
Michael, you've got that look | in your eye again.
What are you thinking about? | Oh, nothing.
Just a little old R and R | at the Shaggy Buffalo.
Beer, please.
KlTT, l think this place | needs a new disk jockey.
Put on something | l can dance to.
How about Swan Lake? Yeah, right.
| Just kidding, Michael.
l'll take over for you.
Take a hike, pal.
One more time, please.
Michael, | if you're not careful they'll be doing the Texas | Two-step on your head.
Just put on some | rock 'n' roll, will you? Hey, wait.
| Now, what's happening? Hey, wait a minute.
lt's not me.
| lt's that guy over there smiling.
So, it really was you, huh? l'm a nice guy | once you get to know me.
All right, KlTT, amplify the | tambours.
Right away, Michael.
That is fantastic.
Hi-Ho KlTT.
Away! KlTT, can you give me | an overlay of Rebecca's ranch? Whatever that ''X'' | represents l'm positive it's somewhere | on Rebecca's ranch.
lf you're suggesting | mineral deposits l happen to know that the old gold | mines have been picked clean years ago.
And there's no record | of oil in this area.
Well, it's got to be | something.
X marks the spot.
KlTT, let's find it.
Michael, you know | there's an APB out on you? Not the first time.
Yes, but l have absolutely | no influence in this area.
None whatsoever.
lf you're caught, | l can do nothing to help you.
And you must also consider | the Foundation.
After all, we are | a law-abiding organization.
l'll keep it in mind, Devon.
| Thanks.
Michael, it's hopeless.
You're from the Bronx.
You're tough.
| Don't give up.
Don't let them beat you.
lt's not just the ranch and | the kids now.
lt's you, too.
You know, they've been here | twice looking for you already.
They're calling you a fugitive.
| l've been called worse.
Affirmative.
Okay, wise guy.
You're | supposed to be working here.
I am.
As a matter of fact, I think | I've located the mysterious ''X.
'' Where is it? About 10 feet | directly to the left of you.
Now two steps forward.
Looks like someone bored a deep | hole here.
Know anything about this? l sure don't.
l'd say | it's a core sample.
KlTT, put on your geological | cap.
We need some answers here.
The hole goes down 46 feet, | Michael and there appears to be a sizeable | deposit of malidium-sulfate.
Malidium-sulfate? | What's that? It's a space age ore.
Extremely | valuable, once it's strip-mined and Rebecca's ranch sits right | on top of the mother lode.
Strip-mining? Do you know | what that does to the land? lt makes the Bronx | look like a rose garden.
Unfortunately that's not | against the law, but rustling is.
And l think these guys | are desperate enough to make that one big mistake.
| Cat, l want you to drift into town.
Spread the word we're moving the entire stock | to the south pasture.
But that's where they hit | us last time.
That's right.
We'll make it a lot easier | for them this time.
Jawing about it is one thing, but | catching them is something else.
Yeah, Cat, but l got | an ace up my sleeve.
See this little guy? They use | this to track game in Africa.
A couple dozen cattle | should be a pushover.
lf my friends in New York saw | me now, they'd think l was crazy.
You know what? Sometimes crazy helps.
Michael, | they're not coming.
They'll come.
lt's just a matter of time.
They'll come.
Michael.
Got you, pal.
Michael, it worked.
Not yet.
Not till l get down there and follow | them and round up the rest of the gang.
Man, look at the size | of that thing.
Radical.
Bizarre.
| Let's go get them, Michael.
Wait a minute.
| lt's a job for me and KlTT.
Hey, man, there's no way we're | gonna miss out on a rumble.
That's the fact, Jack.
You're looking at the warlord | of the Purple Gang.
Diablo, Magic, | you guys gotta stay here.
What if they send up | some more bad guys? You got to take care | of the ladies.
You be cool.
Right.
| Yeah.
We're not going to blow this | rumble, man.
And you know that.
Cat, you heard the man.
Stay | here and defend the women.
Yo, let's head them | off at the pass.
Right.
Hey, come on, you guys.
Yo, we'll take the short cuts | over the bridge top.
Right on.
Looks like they're turning off | the highway, KlTT.
Map overlay indicates | Old Canyon Road.
Does the map overlay | indicate where it goes? No.
But, were I to hazard a guess, | I'd say into an old canyon.
Thanks, pal.
We'll just hang | back until they rendezvous.
He's onto us, Alfred.
This time, | he's in for a big surprise.
KlTT, l've got a feeling here.
| What feeling? That feeling.
Michael, am I seeing double? Afraid not, pal.
We're running out of room.
lt's all timing.
I knew | you could do it, Michael.
Better get some help | out here, pal.
The state police, | an ambulance and a couple of very, | very big tow trucks.
All right.
Well, looks like the Right-On-Ranch | will make it after all.
Right on.
| Right on, brother.
Yeah.
Like l was saying, KlTT, | there was Billy the Kidd.
With two D's? | Yeah, that's the one.
Standing right over there, | just about where that stump is.
So, l just took my trusty lasso, | whirled it high over my head and let her rip.
Now, here's the way | I would handle it.
Now, what do you think | of that, partner? KlTT.
Something tells me you were | once a Texas Ranger yourself.
Chow time? Hot dogs.
Get your hot dogs.
Straight from Coney lsland.
| Who wants to be the first? Real food.
All right.
Yeah.
Not worth the fight, huh? | Says who? Right on, brother.
| Yeah.
Right on.
Big Ed, l say we fire up | this baby right now and grind those apples | into sauce.
Look, if you wanna find out | about Big Ed why don't you just take a | little peek inside of his safe? That all of my equity is in my | livestock.
No livestock, no equity.
Rebecca Hammond lost 20 calves | to rustlers this morning.
He's onto us, Alfred.
Am I seeing double? Knight Rider, | a shadowy flight into the dangerous world | of a man who does not exist.
Michael Knight, | a young loner on a crusade to champion | the cause of the innocent the helpless, the powerless in a world of criminals | who operate above the law.
How much farther to Sage City? | This is Sage City.
As for the Right-On-Ranch it's exactly 3.
5 miles.
| 3.
5 miles.
Good.
Maybe we'll be in time for | a little country breakfast.
Bet the comforts of home would feel mighty good | to you about now.
Soft, perfumed sheets breakfast in bed, | a nice hot bubble bath.
How does that sound? Like | you've never been to the Bronx.
No.
Can't say that l have.
| Cat, listen.
Just the cactus | sucking wind.
Cat, there's somebody | out there.
l know it.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, get in.
Let's go.
l'm not going to lose this ranch, | Cat.
l've got too many plans for it.
You get off this land, | you cactus sucking KlTT, did you hear those shots? | I'm afraid I did, Michael.
All right, | find out where they came from.
Michael, | those shots are coming from the Right-On-Ranch.
Hey, they're getting away! | Not if l can help it.
KlTT, we're in scanning range.
| Give me a hard copy, will you? Looks like rustlers, pal.
| Welcome to the wild, wild west.
Let's go get them, pal.
Jump, Cat, jump! You don't | have to tell me twice! What kind of truck is that? | A real big one, KlTT.
Michael, there's a young woman | up ahead.
Judging by the way she's thrashing | about, I don't think she can swim.
Come on.
l got you.
You okay? Oh, yeah, sure.
l just lost | another 20 head of cattle.
My pick-up looks like it went | through a giant can crusher and this just happens to be a new | outfit and a new pair of boots.
Why shouldn't l be okay? Who are you anyway? You're welcome.
Name's Michael Knight.
| l'm from the Foundation.
Where are all the others? What others? For all the trouble l had convincing | Devon Miles that l needed help l thought he'd send an army or at | least a bunch of reformed muggers.
Well, l'm sorry, but what | you see is what you get.
And what you saw is only part | of what you're up against.
There's also some cowboys, | truckers, snakes of all persuasions.
Any idea who they are? Yeah.
The bad guys.
The bad guys.
Can you give us a lift back | to the ranch? Yeah, sure.
l want to check out | the Sheriff.
There is a sheriff | in this town, isn't there? Yeah.
Lots of luck.
Don't you dare.
Keeping an eye on you.
Well, looks like | the hoosegow's over there.
Hoosegow? Is that something | like ''moo cow''? No, it's not something like moo | cow.
lt's western for jail, buddy.
Don't tell me, they even have | their own language? It appears | there's no one home.
KlTT, where's | the Shaggy Buffalo? Right across the street, | Michael.
lt's taken.
Very nice.
At least someone around here | has an ear for good music.
lt's not the song, | sweetheart.
lt's the singer.
My name's Marilyn, | like in Monroe.
My name's Michael, | like in Knight.
Showtime is over, | Miss Marilyn.
Time to get your apron from your | room, and do some honest work.
Hope to see you again, Michael.
| lt would be my pleasure.
Can l buy you a drink, stranger? No, | thank you.
l'm looking for the Sheriff.
Well, you don't have to look far.
| Little brother, someone here to see you.
Seen him enough? | lt's about Rebecca Hammond.
She lost another 20 calves | to rustlers this morning.
Rustlers? You've been watching too many | late-night movies, boy.
Then what do you call this? l call that a truck, taking | a bunch of calves to market.
Yeah, except they're someone | else's calves.
Says who? Says Rebecca Hammond.
| Her brand's on them.
Well, let me tell you something | about Rebecca Hammond, boy.
She's a rancher about like | Marilyn over there is a singer.
She don't care nothing | about cattle.
She only bought that spread so | she'd have a place for her kids.
What kids? A bunch of bad apples she picked | up off the streets of New York City.
And now she wants to | bring them out here so's they can terrorize our | decent, law-abiding citizens.
l'll tell you one thing.
The only one going to be doing | any terrorizing around here is me.
Will you put | that thing away, Lance? You a friend of Miss Hammond's? Yeah.
Well, then, | maybe she'll listen to you.
l happen to know the | Unified Ranch Corporation has made her an offer | on her place.
A very fair | and reasonable offer.
And if you're really her friend, | boy, you'll see that she accepts it.
You got that? | Yeah.
Yeah, l got it.
Now, why don't you tell the Sheriff to | get off his brains and get the rustlers? Get me Devon, will you, pal? Well, Devon l think there's something | you failed to tell me.
Really, Michael? | And what is that? That is Rebecca Hammond's real reason | for buying the ranch in the first place.
Oh, I take it | you mean the children.
Michael, | what on earth is that? Something tells me, | the bad apples.
They've arrived.
Well, | Michael, I won't keep you.
Just remember, children | are the flowers of mankind.
Death.
Flowers? Hmm.
l'll keep that in mind.
Bizarre.
Be careful, Michael, | there's just the two of us.
Yeah.
| A mean scene.
Miss Hammond, | l think it's them.
Man, what did l do | to deserve this? Two steps down, Joanna.
| Hi, you guys.
Welcome.
| l'm glad you finally got here.
Joanna, l've missed you, | you sweetheart.
All you bad apples, | welcome to Sage City.
All right what did you do | with the driver? He quit.
He quit? When? | After the breakdown.
The bus broke down? | No, the driver.
Forty-five minutes out | of New York City.
No guts.
Who drove? What difference does it make? | We got here, didn't we? He's got a point.
Whose side are you on? All right, all right.
Back on | the bus.
Let's go to the ranch.
You mean, | this ain't the ranch? Miss Hammond.
| Did you get everything, Blue? Yes, ma'am.
Even | the Coney lsland hot dogs.
Cat, you get to | drive the bus.
Come on, Joanna, | you go with me and Blue.
Hey, come on.
| We've got ways to go here.
l'll meet you out there.
We've | got a few things to talk about.
Well, l think it's time we sashayed | down to the old homestead, partner.
I think I liked you better | when you spoke rock 'n' roll.
Time is running out.
| Maybe there's another way.
You do anything | you have to, Alfred.
And if that long drink of water | gives you any trouble at all you just let me | handle him.
So, you're a rancher, or a mother | hen to a bunch of bad apples? Which is it? | Both.
And they're not | bad apples, really.
They just haven't fallen | far enough from the tree.
They've been battered and abused and | used and left to fend for themselves.
Even Joanna? | Especially Joanna.
She's been blind since birth, kicked around | more times than an ltalian soccer ball.
lf you haven't guessed already, Michael, | my real occupation isn't ranching.
l'm a child psychologist.
| l kind of got that feeling.
By the way l handle the kids? | No.
By the way you tried to milk that | cow which turned out to be a bull.
Seriously, Rebecca, l do admire | the way you handle the kids.
Thanks.
Anyway, l came to the conclusion | that all the testing and counseling, and | understanding in the world didn't mean a thing if after | those kids left my office they just went back | to the streets.
So you bought | the Right-On-Ranch.
With my savings and every penny | l could beg, borrow, or steal.
See, l figured if l could bring | a bunch of them out here with me for maybe a year let them work the place, share | in the profits, if there are any.
Or even give them a | second chance? Right.
But this is my first group and if l lose any more cattle, | it may be my last.
Cat and Blue are the only | hands l've been able to hire.
So l need some help, Michael.
Rebecca, that's what l'm here | for.
l'm behind you all the way.
Yo, | that's one bad car, man.
Hey, man, there's not a car made Diablo | can't rip off or chop up any day of the week.
I guess, Monday's | not a day of the week.
Oh, wow.
Bizarre! Oh, man.
What a freak-a-zoid.
| Now l'm getting mad.
Don't get mad, friend, get in.
Well? Hey, dude, l'm from 125th | Street.
l don't impress easy.
Oh, really? Well, | we'll see about that.
Killer wheels, man.
A real punk-out.
What's the 125th Street kid | have to say now? Don't touch the eject button.
| Hey, come on, dude.
lmpressive.
Unified Ranch Corporation, | what do you know about them? Nothing, really.
Except that they're buying up a | lot of the ranches around here.
Who's behind them? | l don't know.
Don't cry.
l'm here.
Everything's going | to be all right.
ls anyone there? ls there someone there? You just be real quiet | and l won't hurt you.
That's Joanna.
lt sounds like | it's coming from the barn.
KlTT, meet me at the barn.
| On my way, Michael.
Joanna, it's okay.
| lt's me, Michael.
KlTT, run some | interference for me.
Right away, Michael.
Man, you just knocked | my socks off.
Yes, well, put them back on.
| It gets cold here at night.
You're okay, Joanna? | l found this in the barn.
Excuse me.
Hey, partner, | how about the ingredients? Two parts C21, H22, N2O 2 and one part S2O4.
Doesn't sound like the recipe | to Mom's apple pie, does it? It's a deadly poisonous alkaloid, | Michael.
Mixed in with the feed it's enough to destroy at | least a thousand head of cattle.
Poison? | Yeah, you heard me.
And it was found | in Rebecca Hammond's barn.
Now this goes | beyond rustling.
l want something done | about this.
ln her barn, you say? She ought to be more careful | than that.
Here, l'll just take that | for evidence.
You take it, | you take it the hard way.
You listen here.
l'm the Sheriff and if l say l want that for evidence, | then l'll take it for evidence.
Ain't that right, Big Ed? | Tell me are you a betting man, | Mr.
Knight? Yeah.
You see that | bucking bronco over there? Oh, that thing.
l thought that | went out with the hula hoop.
l'll bet that Lance can stay | on that longer than you.
And if he doesn't? Then you walk out of here | with the evidence.
Of course, you can always | walk out of here right now without it.
Well? Let's go for a ride.
Guests first.
Brother Alfred | will do the honors.
Hang on to this for me, | will you? Michael, be careful.
l've seen real live cowboys | break their back on that bronco.
Real cowboys? | Rodeo champs.
Rodeo champs? Snapped right in two.
| ln two? Thanks for | the vote of confidence.
Ride it, cowboy.
Come on, Michael.
You okay? | Piece of cake.
Twenty seconds.
| Twenty seconds? That's right.
Let her rip.
| Ride it, Lance.
Ride it, baby.
Who are they kidding? He's got more of a chance of | falling asleep than falling off.
Ten seconds.
Ten seconds, | and still dancing.
Hey, partner, there's a bronco in here | that needs a little bit more juice.
Coming right up.
More juice, KlTT.
Nineteen seconds.
| Nineteen seconds.
My champion.
Just call me | Bronco Knight.
Thanks, buddy.
Big Ed.
| Yeah? l think l figured out another | way to get rid of Rebecca Hammond.
Once and for all.
| Good idea, brother Alfred.
Meantime l got some house cleaning | of my own.
Michael, why do I | get the feeling that Home On The Range wasn't | written with us in mind? l hear you, pal.
And if l ever catch you in Sage City | again, you'll be singing up on Boot Hill.
Maybe we've got | someone else on our side.
Yeah? Well, for your information, | Sage City is Boot Hill.
Marilyn.
There's a bus | pulling out of here in 10 minutes, and l'm going to be | on it.
You won't miss it, l promise.
Well? Tell me what you know | about Big Ed Barton? He's a rat.
What more | do you want to know? Why is this rat so anxious to | move Rebecca Hammond off her ranch? l'm not sure, but l think it has | something to do with those kids.
Yeah, well, l don't.
Have you heard anything about | this Unified Ranch Corporation? Yeah, l think l heard Big Ed and | his brothers talking about it once.
Do you remember anything they said? No.
But, look, if you want to | find out about Big Ed why don't you just take a | little peek inside of his safe? Safe? ln his office behind the saloon.
Being a crook himself, Big Ed | doesn't trust the banks.
He keeps his entire life | locked inside that safe.
Okay.
Thanks.
Well, l got a bus to catch.
| Yeah.
You You know where to? Yeah.
Wherever it's going.
See you around, Michael, | as in Knight.
Take care, Marilyn, | as in Monroe.
All right, KlTT.
We've got to | get in Big Ed Barton's safe.
In broad daylight? Michael, even the most | desperate desperado Is something wrong? There's a puddle on the ground | where the bus was parked.
What do you make of that? Michael, it's brake fluid.
And I also detect some | steel filings on the ground.
Oh, no.
| The brake lines are cut.
All right, you bad apples.
Let's | keep it down to a small roar, okay? Okay.
| All right.
All right, you guys.
Get down.
Now! Michael, we're close enough for | me to microlock the wheel system.
lt's too risky, pal.
| Once we jam her she won't have enough strength | to keep the bus under control.
Pull up close to her bumper.
Michael, | what are you going to do? All right.
Take over, pal.
l got it.
Go! All right, KlTT, give me | all the microlock you've got.
Right away.
Everybody okay? You okay? | Yeah, all right.
All right, stay cool.
| l'll have KlTT tow you back.
l don't understand it.
l just | had the bus safety checked.
Don't worry.
lt wasn't | a mechanical failure.
Somebody cut the brake lines.
Big Ed, l say we fire up | this baby right now and grind those apples | into sauce.
Not with that guy Knight around.
He's | more trouble than a Texas twister.
We're gonna be safer sticking | with our original plan.
There we were on the trail of one of the meanest | outlaws this side of the Rio Grande.
''We''? Well, actually, | l was by myself at the time.
You familiar with | Billy the Kid? Let's see.
Billy the Kid.
Real name.
: | William Bonney, Born.
: 1860.
Died.
: July 13th, 1881.
l'm talking about | a different Billy the Kid.
Mine spelt his with two D's.
I'm sorry.
| You should be.
Besides, l ain't got time to | stand around talking to no car.
l got dogies to round up.
Sure l can't change | your mind, Blue? l'm sorry, ma'am but ever since l started working for you, | the guys in town are not talking to me and the gals just ain't | smiling the way they used to.
l don't mind the guys | not talking.
l understand.
l did fix your brakes for you, though, | and mended the fence on the south pasture.
Thank you, Blue.
That's nice.
Hey.
l got some good news.
| l can use some.
Reinforcements are on the way.
| Devon's coming.
Devon's coming? | That's it? Devon's coming? Oh, God.
We barely escape death because | somebody cut the brake line.
My one able-bodied hand quits.
The bank is going to foreclose on my | mortgage if l lose any more cattle and you tell me Devon's | coming.
Wait a minute.
What's this about the bank? Why | didn't you tell me about that? l just found out in town, that all | of my equity is in my livestock.
No livestock, no equity.
No equity, no Right-On-Ranch.
You know what else | they told me? They told me that l should accept the | Unified Ranch Corporation's offer and sell.
Well, did you give them | both barrels or just one? l told them that | l'd think about it.
Don't look at me that way, | Michael.
Maybe it's just not worth | any more fight.
lf l really thought you | believed that, l'd say okay.
lt's your ranch.
| lt's your dream.
Hold up the white flag, | surrender the fort.
But come on, that's not you | and that's not me.
We've got them whipped, boss.
| They just don't know it yet.
Devon, l need some answers.
ls it a corporation | or isn't it? Unified Ranch lncorporated is what | is known as a closed corporation.
lt has one majority | stockholder.
Unfortunately, the only way to | uncover his identity is to find out who actually holds | the securities themselves.
lt's got to be the Bartons.
| Yes, that may well be.
Unfortunately, at this moment in time, | it's going to be difficult to prove.
Time's the operative word, | Devon.
Rebecca's running out of it, | along with her cattle.
Michael, if you think about it, | none of this makes any sense anyway.
Why would anyone want to | buy Rebecca's ranch enough to go to these lengths? | Bonnie's right, Michael.
Ranching is one of the most depressed | businesses in the country today.
Who says they want Rebecca's | ranch for ranching, anyway? What other purpose could there | be? l don't know, Devon but it's gotta be big, because | they sure want it bad enough.
Michael, you've got that look | in your eye again.
What are you thinking about? | Oh, nothing.
Just a little old R and R | at the Shaggy Buffalo.
Beer, please.
KlTT, l think this place | needs a new disk jockey.
Put on something | l can dance to.
How about Swan Lake? Yeah, right.
| Just kidding, Michael.
l'll take over for you.
Take a hike, pal.
One more time, please.
Michael, | if you're not careful they'll be doing the Texas | Two-step on your head.
Just put on some | rock 'n' roll, will you? Hey, wait.
| Now, what's happening? Hey, wait a minute.
lt's not me.
| lt's that guy over there smiling.
So, it really was you, huh? l'm a nice guy | once you get to know me.
All right, KlTT, amplify the | tambours.
Right away, Michael.
That is fantastic.
Hi-Ho KlTT.
Away! KlTT, can you give me | an overlay of Rebecca's ranch? Whatever that ''X'' | represents l'm positive it's somewhere | on Rebecca's ranch.
lf you're suggesting | mineral deposits l happen to know that the old gold | mines have been picked clean years ago.
And there's no record | of oil in this area.
Well, it's got to be | something.
X marks the spot.
KlTT, let's find it.
Michael, you know | there's an APB out on you? Not the first time.
Yes, but l have absolutely | no influence in this area.
None whatsoever.
lf you're caught, | l can do nothing to help you.
And you must also consider | the Foundation.
After all, we are | a law-abiding organization.
l'll keep it in mind, Devon.
| Thanks.
Michael, it's hopeless.
You're from the Bronx.
You're tough.
| Don't give up.
Don't let them beat you.
lt's not just the ranch and | the kids now.
lt's you, too.
You know, they've been here | twice looking for you already.
They're calling you a fugitive.
| l've been called worse.
Affirmative.
Okay, wise guy.
You're | supposed to be working here.
I am.
As a matter of fact, I think | I've located the mysterious ''X.
'' Where is it? About 10 feet | directly to the left of you.
Now two steps forward.
Looks like someone bored a deep | hole here.
Know anything about this? l sure don't.
l'd say | it's a core sample.
KlTT, put on your geological | cap.
We need some answers here.
The hole goes down 46 feet, | Michael and there appears to be a sizeable | deposit of malidium-sulfate.
Malidium-sulfate? | What's that? It's a space age ore.
Extremely | valuable, once it's strip-mined and Rebecca's ranch sits right | on top of the mother lode.
Strip-mining? Do you know | what that does to the land? lt makes the Bronx | look like a rose garden.
Unfortunately that's not | against the law, but rustling is.
And l think these guys | are desperate enough to make that one big mistake.
| Cat, l want you to drift into town.
Spread the word we're moving the entire stock | to the south pasture.
But that's where they hit | us last time.
That's right.
We'll make it a lot easier | for them this time.
Jawing about it is one thing, but | catching them is something else.
Yeah, Cat, but l got | an ace up my sleeve.
See this little guy? They use | this to track game in Africa.
A couple dozen cattle | should be a pushover.
lf my friends in New York saw | me now, they'd think l was crazy.
You know what? Sometimes crazy helps.
Michael, | they're not coming.
They'll come.
lt's just a matter of time.
They'll come.
Michael.
Got you, pal.
Michael, it worked.
Not yet.
Not till l get down there and follow | them and round up the rest of the gang.
Man, look at the size | of that thing.
Radical.
Bizarre.
| Let's go get them, Michael.
Wait a minute.
| lt's a job for me and KlTT.
Hey, man, there's no way we're | gonna miss out on a rumble.
That's the fact, Jack.
You're looking at the warlord | of the Purple Gang.
Diablo, Magic, | you guys gotta stay here.
What if they send up | some more bad guys? You got to take care | of the ladies.
You be cool.
Right.
| Yeah.
We're not going to blow this | rumble, man.
And you know that.
Cat, you heard the man.
Stay | here and defend the women.
Yo, let's head them | off at the pass.
Right.
Hey, come on, you guys.
Yo, we'll take the short cuts | over the bridge top.
Right on.
Looks like they're turning off | the highway, KlTT.
Map overlay indicates | Old Canyon Road.
Does the map overlay | indicate where it goes? No.
But, were I to hazard a guess, | I'd say into an old canyon.
Thanks, pal.
We'll just hang | back until they rendezvous.
He's onto us, Alfred.
This time, | he's in for a big surprise.
KlTT, l've got a feeling here.
| What feeling? That feeling.
Michael, am I seeing double? Afraid not, pal.
We're running out of room.
lt's all timing.
I knew | you could do it, Michael.
Better get some help | out here, pal.
The state police, | an ambulance and a couple of very, | very big tow trucks.
All right.
Well, looks like the Right-On-Ranch | will make it after all.
Right on.
| Right on, brother.
Yeah.
Like l was saying, KlTT, | there was Billy the Kidd.
With two D's? | Yeah, that's the one.
Standing right over there, | just about where that stump is.
So, l just took my trusty lasso, | whirled it high over my head and let her rip.
Now, here's the way | I would handle it.
Now, what do you think | of that, partner? KlTT.
Something tells me you were | once a Texas Ranger yourself.
Chow time? Hot dogs.
Get your hot dogs.
Straight from Coney lsland.
| Who wants to be the first? Real food.
All right.
Yeah.
Not worth the fight, huh? | Says who? Right on, brother.
| Yeah.
Right on.