Knight Squad (2018) s01e11 Episode Script

Working on the Knight Moves

1 Hey hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey hey Hey hey This is so awesome! Sir Swayze is actually coming here to Astoria! Our land! Oh, but he's coming all the way from the Kingdom of Inwood.
Oh, I hope he doesn't get attacked by a monkey worm.
Oh, please, okay? He's the greatest knight in all of Astoria.
He'd just punch that monkey worm right in the mouth! We're excited for Sir Swayze, too! Look at Sage.
She's smiling like a chucklehead.
I am! I am! I'm a happy chucklehead! SAGE & BUTTERCUP: [giggling] KING: I know we're all fans of Sir Swayze.
But when he arrives, let's have a little self control.
[trumpet fanfare] Oh, he's coming! He's coming! ALL: [cheering, hooting] [gasping] Who's crazy for Swayze? ALL: [cheering, hooting] As a gift to Astoria, I will show you my legendary pinky power punch.
ALL: [gasping] Sway ze! [cart crashes] [blows air] He destroyed my favorite cart, and I don't even care! Woo, Sir Swayze! ALL: [cheering, hooting] - [blows kiss] - BOTH: [gasping] [eye wink tinkles] I heard Sir Swayze has his own battle unicorn.
I heard he survived a face-to-face battle against Ryker.
I heard Sir Gareth kicked him out of knight school Because I did.
Hey, did you kick him out for being too awesome? Because I'm worried I might have that same problem.
I kicked him out because he never wanted to do the work.
He only wanted to take shortcuts.
So, how did he become a Knight of Inwood? Well, Inwood lets anyone become a knight.
They even knighted his dog.
They call him Sir Barksalot.
I can't wait till Sir Swayze leaves.
Great news! Sir Swayze's not leaving.
SIR GARETH: [groans] ALL: [cheering, hooting] It's true.
I'm staying to open the Sir Swayze Knight Academy.
STUDENTS: Ohhhh Swayze, this kingdom already has a knight school.
Oh, unclench your metal butt, Sir G.
My academy is nothing like your school.
My classes are at night.
Knight school at night? It just makes sense.
Anyone interested should meet me here tonight.
The first students to sign up get their very own Swayze clip-on tail, trademark, Swayze Enterprises.
If we train with Sir Gareth and Sir Swayze, we'll be doubly amazing.
[excited hooting] SIR GARETH: It's gonna be so great! Except it's never gonna happen.
My students are forbidden to attend his school.
But can we go to his academy? I withdraw my question.
[magic whooshing] Hello, candy.
Goodbye, candy.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Mom and Dad left me in charge of watching you while they're gone, and they don't want you eating candy.
Hand it over.
[sighing] And your secret stash.
[groans] Okay, if you're gonna eat candy out of your boots, at least wear socks.
Warwick, Klutzy the Juggler is performing in the Tasty Trunk.
You shut your giant mouth.
We are so there.
I wanna go.
Oh, sorry, you can't.
Klutzy juggles insanely dangerous stuff.
Like poisonous swords, poisonous frogs.
And sometimes just straight up poison.
Aw, man, the show's tomorrow night.
I can't go.
I'm watching Fizz.
Take me with you, please? You can watch me watch the show.
Sorry, you have to be at least 13 years old to go, Fizz.
It's a good rule.
Last year, some guy took a poisonous frog to the face.
Please let it be me this year.
Sorry, bro.
Hey, if a juggling show is what you want, maybe I could do it.
I'll start with these hatchets.
PRUDENCE & WARWICK: No! [magic whooshing] Sir Swayze's academy started last night and we missed it.
He never said my name, but I felt like he knew my name, you know, like in his soul.
His soul is so cool! Why can't Sir Gareth be cool? What is up, my peeps? Mind if I chill and, um, rap to ya? I think he's lost his mind.
I'm so glad I'm here to see it.
I know you wanna train with a cool teacher.
Well, guess who's cooler than an ice troll in winter? G Diddy.
[chair scraping] [gasps] Today I've got a little surprise for you.
I'ma teach you how to put a smack down on a mummy.
STUDENTS: Yeah! In six months, after you read all of these superfly books.
STUDENTS: [groaning] Wow, congrats.
You found a way to make mummies boring.
Yeah, what gives, G Diddy? Oh, relax.
It's only a thousand pages.
And I will catch you on the flippity fly.
No, I want to fight a mummy, not read "Your Mummy Or Your Life: 13,000 Steps To Defeating a Mummy.
" Well, come on, Prudy.
Maybe there's something in these books that can help us sneak Fizz into that juggling show.
You just want me to carry your book, don't you? Yeah.
It looks dusty and you know I have allergies.
Hey! You have a Swayze tail in your pocket! I do? Oh! Oh! Oh! You two went to his class.
I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
Remember? We secretly signed up.
There were only two spots left, and you said, "Don't tell Arc and Ciara.
" SAGE: [laughing] That sounds like something I would say.
Let's go.
Okay, if Sage and Buttercup are studying under Sir Swayze, their new skills are gonna put Kraken Squad on top.
Which means they'll become knights over us.
We have to join that class.
Anything to get one of those ponytails! And become knights.
Okay, that was implied.
Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Hey! Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Oh oh Hey! Oh, we will be heroes We are the Knight Squad Hey! [grunts of combat] - BUTTERCUP: [giggles] - SAGE: Yes! Well, look who it is.
Two people trying to get better than us.
Newsflash! The battle dummy's better than you.
Sir Swayze taught us how to talk smack.
One of the buttons on your shirt is loose.
If you want, I can take it home and fix it.
Boom! Welcome to the first night of the rest of your knights' lives.
Pow! Wordplay! We are so excited to train with you.
Oh, what do we do, first? Please tell me it's not reading a book.
The only thing I ever got from a book was a paper cut.
[laughs] So, I punched that book and fed it to my battle unicorn.
"Feed books to unicorns.
" See, this is the academy difference.
Sir Swayze, any chance you could teach us how to defeat a mummy in less than six months? Sage, there's no way he can do that.
- I can totally do that.
- Told you, Sage.
I was a survivor of The Great Mummy Invasion.
I can teach you how to defeat a mummy in no time With my pinky power punch.
Oh, quick question.
When are we gonna get our Swayze tails? They're already on you.
CIARA: [giggling] How did he do that? I don't know, but I am learning so much.
[magic whooshing] All right, Fizz, we have a way to make you look older, so you can see Klutzy.
PRUDENCE & WARWICK: Neckties! Nothing says old dude like a soup-stained necktie.
Or we can use a spell I found in Warwick's magic book.
Huh? This spell creates a magic pocket watch that can change your age.
What are you waiting for? Make me a man! Cronos pendulum fon! All right, you can make yourself older by turning the watch forward.
Then after the show, turn it back, and you'll be normal again.
[magic chiming] It works! You know what else works? This sweet, sweet stache! [magic whooshing] Like a momma bird, I chewed up the awesomest worm and spat it [spits] into your mouths, making you awesome, too.
You know what? Sir Gareth never spits awesomeness into our mouths.
Now you all know how to take down a mummy using the pinky power punch.
Unleash your pinkies.
STUDENTS: Sway ze! [dummies thud] Woo-hoo! Yes! I am such a good teacher! You guys stay here.
I have something very special for you.
Please, be a bunny! Please, be a bunny! Now I will give you the most handsome shield in all the five kingdoms.
ARC: [gasps] They're to let everyone know you're my students.
Well, everyone except Sir Gareth.
If he finds out we're here, it's not gonna be pretty.
So, I shouldn't have called him down here to see how much better my academy is than his school? STUDENTS: What?! SIR GARETH: Swayze! He's coming! Let's hide! Ha, so you call this sad display an academy? It has no heart.
It has no guts.
It has no Ooh, spa water.
That's nice.
As I was saying! This academy's a joke.
My star students don't seem to think so.
Who would be dumb enough to train under you? It's definitely not Buttercup, Sage, Arc and Ciara.
Right, guys? [nervous laugh] He-e-e-ey, G Diddy.
I can't believe you went behind my back like this, after I specifically told you not to! Sir Gareth, we're just trying to become great knights.
And you thought that disobeying me was the way to achieve that.
I've never been more disappointed.
All of you to the training yard for your punishment.
Right now! Not you! What are we doing with all this dirt? I thought our punishment was cleaning the training yard.
Oh, it is.
But this place isn't dirty enough.
So, you're going to take this dirt and spread it around and then clean it all up! Yay, it's like a big sandbox! [giggles] Oh, no, it's like a big sandbox.
This isn't fair.
Buttercup and I were only in Sir Swayze's academy to stop Phoenix Squad from making bad life decisions.
No, we made our bad life decisions after they made their bad life decisions.
Uh! Enough! I know why you were there and you're wasting your time.
Sir Swayze's shortcuts will only hurt your chances of becoming knights.
Not true, okay? He spat awesome worms into our mouths.
It sounds better when he says it.
Sir Swayze taught us how to defeat a mummy without opening a book.
That's impossible! You cannot defeat a mummy without knowing everything in these books.
No! Now get this place dirty so you can make it clean again! Hey, I wish we could show Sir Gareth we're not wasting our time with Sir Swayze.
I have an idea.
How about we wake the mummy and use the pinky power punch to take it down? Oh, then Sir Gareth would see Sir Swayze's an awesome teacher, and let us keep training with him.
Good plan, Ciara.
It was my plan.
[high-pitched] I'm pretty sure it was Ciara's.
[magic whooshing] We're finally gonna see Klutzy.
I know.
I brought my first aid kit for when the poison starts flying.
Excuse me, you're blocking the stage.
Can you take off your hat? Oh, sure.
Can you take off your hair? Forget it.
I'll just use the watch to make myself older and taller.
Go ahead and give yourself a couple of years.
[magic chiming] How do I look? Whoa, you look like Pop Pop.
I feel like Pop Pop, too.
My bladder's the size of a peanut.
Ooh, I gotta tinkle.
Okay, we've got a problem.
If he's anything like Pop Pop, he'll be farting throughout the show.
And also your little brother's a senior citizen! Yeah, you're right.
[snaps fingers] We should get a discount.
No! You need to tell him to change back.
You're still his older brother, even though you're 60 years younger.
False alarm.
My bladder's playin' tricks on me.
Fizz, we have to turn you back.
Darn tooting we should.
Oh, I'm even talking old.
Okay, where's the watch? I don't know.
It was here a minute ago.
Wait, you lost it? You were only gone for ten seconds.
I was? Where'd I go? [magic whooshing] So, how do we wake a mummy? Tummy tickles.
All we have to do is read the incantation on top of the sarcophagus.
How do you know that? I have weird hobbies, okay? Buddybutt, get the magic mirror ready.
ARC: Oh [clears throat] And action! Sir Gareth, we're recording this as proof that Sir Swayze taught us how to send a mummy back to its mommy.
And now, I will read the ancient incantation.
[clearing throat] Wakey-wakey, eggs 'n bakey! That can't be it.
[roaring] I was wrong.
Please continue.
[roaring] Normally, we'd be pretty terrified.
But we know this mummy is no threat to us because Sir Swayze taught us his pinky power punch.
Let's do it.
STUDENTS: Sway ze! [roaring] You guys really showed him! SAGE: The mummy has mystical powers! [roaring] Let's go get Sir Swayze! Come on! Oh, man it wasn't recording.
Can we start over, Mr.
Eggs 'n Bakey? [roaring] Seventy-nine eighty eighty-one ARC: Oh! Oh! Oh! Mummy! Attacking! - My idea! - Eggs 'n bakey! We wanted to prove you were a great teacher, so we woke up a mummy.
We tried your pinky power punch, but the mummy has mystical powers.
So, now we need you to take it out for us.
So, stop brushing your amazing Swayze tail.
Okay, so there is a mummy loose? Oh, this is bad.
Like we should tell the teacher bad.
But but you're our teacher.
[high-pitched] I know! That's why I'm freaking out! Uh, help me pack the spa water.
I'm outta here! But it's just one mummy.
You survived The Great Mummy Invasion.
I survived because I ran away while they ate my battle unicorn.
You're a legendary knight.
No, a legendary phony and that pinky power punch only works on carts and battle dummies.
Why would you open a knight academy if you're just a big old chicken man baby? Because Sir Gareth embarrassed me when he kicked me out.
I wanted to embarrass him back by taking all his students.
No disrespect, Sir Swayze, but that's not why you go into teaching.
Hey, so what are we gonna do now? Well I do know one more move.
[laughing] The Swayze Sprint! Oh! [roaring] You're still my students! Save me! [roaring] [yelping] Mommy! If that thing puts Sir Swayze in a sarcophagus, he'll be turned into a mummy.
How do you know that? I told you I have weird hobbies.
[magic whooshing] Okay, we'd better find that watch, or Fizz will be old forever.
Come on, Fizz, help us look.
I can't get off of this chair on account of my sciatica.
What's a sciatica? I don't know.
I'm doomed, Prudy.
All I had to do was watch him and keep him from eating candy.
Wait, candy.
Wait, that's it.
Well, I could use a snack, but now's not the time.
No, he hides things in his boot.
Maybe the watch is in there, too.
Get off of me! Man, my brother gave me these boots! I am your brother! Whoa.
Fizz, you put the watch in your candy boot.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, see if my tuna sandwich is in there, too.
Change him back before he puts anything else in that boot.
But if I turn back into a kid, you'll get kicked out.
I don't care.
I just want my little brother back.
You are the best big brother this old fool ever had.
[magic chiming] Goodbye, sciatica! I'm young again! My shoulder's stopped making that clicking noise.
Glad you're back and maybe the bouncer won't know you're here.
Who let this kid in? You three are outta here! Oh, but the good news is we can always see Klutzy's show next year.
[Klutzy's intro music] Welcome to Klutzy the Juggler's final show ever! AUDIENCE: [cheering, applauding] WARWICK & PRUDENCE: No-o-o-o-o-o! [door slams] [magic whooshing] [sobbing] Please let me go.
He's taking him down to Mummy Town! Stop pulling me by my Swayze tail! I know how to fix this.
Let's read all these books, then in six months, we can kick his butt.
Or we can do this.
[grunt of effort] [roaring] [roaring] He hates books as much as we do.
[roaring] [magic whooshing] [groaning, grunting] Sir Swayze, do something! I'm doing two things Crying and hoping he eats you, first.
[roaring] It looks like this is the end, guys.
SIR GARETH: [roaring] STUDENTS: Sir Gareth! Save us! I'm useless! Stand back, students, and former student Who I can't stand.
[grunt of effort] Oh! How are you doing that? Well, if you would have read the book, you would know that a crystal-charged weapon can absorb the mummy's power.
And then you can do this! [grunt of effort] MUMMY: [gasping] STUDENTS: Whoa Mm-hm.
Told ya you had a cool teacher.
And that is how you defeat a mummy.
Pow! Teamwork! Just go.
- Probably for the best.
- Yeah.
Sir Gareth, we should have listened to you about Sir Swayze.
We know that there's no shortcuts to becoming a knight.
We're sorry.
How did you know how to find us? You butt dialed me.
Yay! My butt's a hero! [giggling]