Knight Squad (2018) s01e15 Episode Script

A Total Knightmare

1 Oh oh oh oh oh Whoa oh Okay, any minute, Sir Gareth's gonna walk through that door and present our mid-term quests.
I'm so excited, I could only eat half my burger.
WARWICK: (FOOT STUMBLES) Dude, you're shaking.
Are you okay? Y-Y-Yeah.
I-I'm shaking with excitement, not fear.
Warwick gets nervous about quests because all the knights in his family were so amazing at them.
Not just amazing.
Incredible! Astounding! Legendary! Not helping? Guys, it's a lot of pressure living up to the Wick family name.
I don't wanna be the first member of my family not to become a knight.
Look, don't worry about this quest, okay? It only counts for a bazillion points.
I'm pretty sure that's not a number.
Yes, it is.
It's ten thousand trillions.
If we mess up, it will knock us out of first place.
(WHINING) And I love first place! Awww, I almost feel bad we're gonna take it from you.
(GIGGLING) That's not true.
I've been giggling all morning.
(GIGGLING) I've been doing a puzzle all morning.
It's a dolphin.
(SQUEALING LIKE DOLPHIN) If you can't see it, it's your fault.
Attention, knight schoolers.
First thing tomorrow morning, you will choose your mid-term quests.
Choose carefully as it is worth a bazillion points.
I told you it's a real number.
I totally didn't know it was a real number.
Okay, there are three quests.
Which one should we take? The Quest to Capture a Zombie? No! I could get bit, become a zombie, and be the first member of my family not to become a knight.
Next quest? Okay.
Well, how about this one? The Quest to Find the Invisible Knight? - Ooh, that - No! The Invisible Knight could have an invisible snake that could swallow me whole, and I'd be the first member of my family not to become a knight.
Next quest? The Quest to the Temple of Ear? No! Ears are very Wait, I think I'm good with ears.
(CHUCKLES) It won't make me be the first ALL: member of your family not to become a knight.
We get it.
Great.
Okay, now we just need to make sure we get the Ear Quest tomorrow.
Hopefully, we get to pick, first.
I will now determine tomorrow's picking order using a method developed by our ancestors centuries ago.
One potato, two potato! Phoenix Squad, you're last.
Stupid potatoes! Hey, that stinkball slobbered all over my stuff! Yeah, we're not happy.
Look what he did to my dolphin puzzle.
(SADLY SQUEALING LIKE DOLPHIN) I am tired of that thing messing up my stuff, and making Buttercup's stuff better! Yeah, stop making me better! Sage, he only acts like this because you're not nice to him.
I'm super-nice to that hairy bowling ball.
(SCREECHING) (GROWLING) If that thing slobbers me or my stuff one more time, I'm gonna take him to the nursery school where I can tell the kids he's a pinata.
Oh.
Have a nice day.
Buttercup, we're mad at them.
Oh, sorry.
(GRUMPILY) Have a nice day! (MAGIC WHOOSHING) Squads, it is now time to select your mid-term quests.
Pass it and you move closer to becoming a knight.
Fail it and you become a disappointment to your family.
Why's he lookin' at me? He's not looking at you.
Yeah, he's looking at you.
Okay, if we want the Quest to the Temple of Ear, we have to trick the other squads into picking the dangerous quests.
And trick them, we shall Through the power of acting! Warwick, my good friend, I hope we get the Quest to Capture a Zombie.
Yes, Ciara, who is also my friend.
The Zombie Quest is clearly the easiest one.
SIR GARETH: Unicorn Squad you select first.
(MAGIC WHOOSHING) Yes.
SIR GARETH: Unicorn Squad picks Zombie Quest.
(CHUCKLING) Clearly the zombies won't be eating your brains because picking that wasn't very smart.
(CHUCKLING) Next up! Kraken Squad.
Okay, we're never gonna be able to trick Sage into picking the Invisible Knight Quest.
We don't have to trick Sage.
We can trick Buttercup.
- Oh, yeah, that's do-able.
- Yes.
So, how about that Invisible Knight Quest? Save it.
You're not tricking me.
Oh, good, because when we catch the Invisible Knight, we get to play with his invisible puppy.
Invisible puppy? That's the cutest thing I'll never see! No, Buttercup, wait! - (GIGGLING) - (MAGIC WHOOSHING) Kraken picks the Quest to Find the Invisible Puppy.
And his knight friend.
Sir Gareth, we were tricked.
Oh, too bad, so sad.
Yes, we did it! The Phoenix Squad picks the Quest to the Temple of Ear.
Uh! There's no Temple of Ear.
But it's on your list.
Oh, yes.
(CHUCKLING) My handwriting is so sloppy.
It should say "Temple of Fear.
" (MAGIC WHOOSHING) WARWICK: The Temple of Fear?! No! My dad told me about that place.
It's filled with excruciating pain and suffering.
(CHUCKLING) Yes, yes, it used to be called the Temple of Excruciating Pain and Suffering.
But that wouldn't fit on the dragon board.
Hey-ey hey How did I not realize the Temple of Ear was really the Temple of Fear? We all should have known a guy with one eye and a metal hand would have bad handwriting.
Wait, this doesn't seem so bad.
We just have to retrieve a ram's horn from inside the temple.
Easy-peasy.
The horn is with the Barbarian King, which is guarded by traps, snakes and zombies! Did I say easy-peasy? I meant difficult- schmifficult.
Exactly! I'm freaking out! Okay, so we picked the most dangerous quest.
You're gonna be fine, Warwick.
Right, guys? Uh, I love Warwick way too much to lie to him.
You're not gonna be fine, bro.
But don't worry because I picked up a bottle of fearless fairies.
(LAUGHS) They make you fearless.
That's why they named them that.
For real? If I take those, I lose my fear of failure.
Are you two crazy? Do you have any idea how dangerous fearless fairies are? Yeah, they make people do crazy things.
Like my cousin, he took them, and then he went lava-surfing in a volcano! - Sounds kinda cool.
- It wasn't cool! It was hot! He burned all his hair off.
He looked like a thumb with a face.
All right, I'll take these back tomorrow and exchange them for some compliment fairies.
Because none of you have said anything about my new vest.
I've already figured this out, guys.
Warwick, we just need to get you over your fear of failure.
Wait! But what if we fail at that? Oh Is this what it feels like to be you? - (TSKS) - It feels rough.
We're going to expose you to scary things from the quest, like snakes, until you're fixed.
But, first, would you like a snack? Gnome Crunchies? Huh, my favourite.
(TRICK WORM BOINGING) (SCREAMING) (LAUGHS) He won't get that far.
I put real snakes on the stairs.
(SCREAMING) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (MAGIC WHOOSHING) Invisible Knight? (GRUNTS) Come out, come out, wherever you are! Oh! (GROANS) This is so frustrating.
So far, we've set traps everywhere and we've only caught Kripan.
(METAL THUDDING) (MALLET CLANKING) (MALLET THUDS) If we don't find that Invisible Knight, we're going to fail our quest.
SLOBWICK: (CHATTERING) You found my harmonica.
(CHATTERING) Now we can start our own blues band.
Hey, hey, maybe we can use Slobwick's amazing sense of smell to sniff out the Invisible Knight.
And his invisible puppy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- Hey, Fizz? - Who you callin' Fizz? I'm sorry, I was expecting an insult.
Relax.
I just need you to ask your nasty I mean, your adorable Oh, that's too far.
I need you to ask Slobwick to help us finish our quest.
Help Kraken? (LAUGHING) I'm Phoenix Squad for life! Unless there's something in it for old Fizz.
(CHATTERING) And something in it for old Slobby.
Like what? Oh Are you happy now? No, but I'm about to be.
From the top, Slob-Daddy.
(BLUES HARMONICA MUSIC) (MAGIC WHOOSHING) So many snakes.
They were slithering all over me.
Maybe locking him in a closet filled with real snakes wasn't my best idea.
Yeah, freaking him out with snakes is my thing.
Okay.
Guys, it's useless.
I can't do the quest.
There's just too many things that could stop me from becoming a knight.
But failing the quest could also stop you from becoming a knight.
I know! It's a vicious cycle! Come on, dude, this can't be the first time you couldn't finish a quest.
What do you guys usually do? We make up a reason all of us can't do it so Warwick doesn't look bad.
So, we just need a good excuse.
(SNAPS FINGERS) Well, you're in luck, because I wrote the book on excuses.
Bookshelf, give me Arc's Excuse Book.
(OBJECT BOINGS) Okay, it's not a book as much as something I wrote down once.
"Tell them you're sick.
" It's pretty good, right? All right.
Let's go to the Tasty Trunk.
I have a plan.
Oh, is your plan "Go To Taco Tuesday"? Let's go to the Tasty Trunk.
I have two plans.
Are you coming? You guys go ahead.
I'll catch up.
Save me some tacos.
Guys, he said I could have his tacos! (HEAVY SIGH) I can't keep letting down my squad and my family.
Fearless fairies, do your thing.
(LID POPS) Oh! Oh, no! I don't like this! (MAGIC WHOOSHING) Whoa! I love it.
I don't know if snakes have butts, but if they do, I'm comin' to kick 'em! La la la la Oh Okay, Arc, tell us your plan to get out of the quest so Warwick doesn't look bad.
Yeah, dude.
Bros before tacos.
The plan, which you'd know, if you guys actually read my book, all right, is to make ourselves sick.
Oh, Warlock, three rotten egg smoothies, please.
Extra rotten.
(MAGIC WHOOSHING) - (LIQUID GURGLING) - Ugh! Oh! So disgusting! Why is this even on the menu? Just, um, drink around the chunks.
- ALL: For Warwick! - (MUGS CLANKING) Did someone order a hero? ALL: (COUGHING, SPUTTERING) What are you talking about? Ten minutes ago, you were all like Help! Let me outta the snake closet, Ci-ara.
Now, danger's my middle name.
Before, it was Peabody.
See you on the quest! I cannot believe this.
His middle name was Peabody? And he took the fearless fairies.
Yeah, that, too.
He's gonna get hurt.
We need to stop him before it's too late.
Oh.
Prudy, why are you still drinking that? I paid for it and I'm finishing it.
(MAGIC WHOOSHING) I finished the portrait you asked for.
Oh, you've captured our souls.
I'm back.
Did you get what I asked for? A butt load of chicken nuggets on a fancy dome tray.
Bon appetit.
You heard the lady.
Bon off your feet.
Okay, so, now will you ask Slobwick to help us with our quest? No, but I will ask him to do this.
SLOBWICK: (FARTS) BOTH: (LAUGHING) (GROANS) You're impossible! Sage.
Wait.
Wait.
How are we gonna get that slobberpuff to help us find that knight? Maybe you should try apologizing to Slobwick.
I am not apologizing to that sasquatch turd! Sorry you're so angry.
But I painted this for your room.
(GIGGLES) That helps.
(MAGIC WHOOSHING) Warwick, wait! We know you took those fearless fairies.
I did and I'm not afraid to admit it.
I'm also not afraid to admit my mom still cuts my meat.
I'm never gonna not know that now.
We know you're scared to let down your family.
But those fairies could really get you hurt.
So, we're not letting you leave.
I had a feeling you might say that Which is why I learned this spell.
Batimus, wingy-blingy! (MAGIC WHOOSHING) Oh, no, he made Wick wings.
Race you to the temple! Woo! We are definitely gonna lose that race.
Oh, hey hey Oh oh ARC: Warwick, wait! Where is he? WARWICK: (TARZAN YELL) Ahhhhhhh! (HEAVY THUD) Take that, ground! How did we beat you here? My wings fell off when I got stuck in a tree.
That happens when you're amazing.
Okay, we're going home and getting rid of those fairies.
No way.
The ram's horn is right there.
Follow me and bring your big boy pants.
No, stop.
There's booby-traps everywhere.
I know.
My dad told me all about this place.
Like if you step on this, poison arrows shoot out.
- (STOMPS) - OTHERS: (GASP) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) - Spear! - OTHERS: (GASP) Is that all you got, temple? Oh, no.
He does not speak for all of us, temple.
WARWICK: Cool.
Snakes.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC) What? Dude, we're right back where we started.
I know.
That was just a warm-up.
OTHERS: What?! You can't just go to the Temple of Fear and not hit all the fears.
Can we just get the horn? Sounds fun.
It's protected by fire.
(FIREBALLS WHOOSHING) Okay, we have to be careful.
You be careful.
I'll be Warwick.
No fear! (FIREBALLS WHOOSHING) Nice shot, temple, but I'm the one who's on fire.
Oh, man, why didn't I bring my big boy pants? (FIREBALL WHOOSHING) I can't believe we made it.
We did make it, right? We're all alive? (GASPING) Let's just grab the horn before Warwick does something crazy Like stealing a dead guy's hat.
Legend says, if you blow this horn, it wakes up the zombie barbarians.
Warwick, don't you do it! (DEEP-TONED HORN BLAST) (GROUND RUMBLING) ZOMBIES: (GRUNTING) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) I'll handle this.
- (BOULDER THUDS) - WARWICK: Oh! I lost my fearless fairies! ZOMBIES: (GRUNTING) I'm scared now, too.
It's good to have you back, buddy For the last five minutes of our lives.
(MAGIC WHOOSHING) Where are you, Invisible Knight? SLOBWICK: (CHUCKLING) (GROANS) You having fun ruining my life, Slobwick? (CHUCKLING) I'm not gonna apologize to you.
You know why? (CHATTERING) Because you were mean to me the first day we met.
(CHUCKLING) You liked everyone else at knight school except me and that hurt.
So, yeah (GRUNTS) I guess I'm mean to you because deep down, even I wanna be liked.
So, I'm sorry.
(CHATTERING) BUTTERCUP: Sage, where are you? If you tell anyone I have feelings, I will shave you bald! We got the invisible puppy! (PUPPY BARKING) And his invisible knight friend.
You caught him? When? Didn't Slobwick tell you? I was nice to him to show us where they were hiding.
(GIGGLING) You knew they had the Invisible Knight and you still let me apologize to you?! (CHUCKLING) Oh, ha, ha.
Get ready for your haircut, fuzzball! (SQUAWKING) (MAGIC WHOOSHING) There's no way out of here.
Whoa! And these zombies are really grabby.
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
I didn't mean to get us into this mess.
I just wanted to live up to my family's legacy.
Look, maybe you'll be as great as them, maybe you won't, but if you're too afraid of failing, you'll never know.
Yeah.
Plus, you can do something no one else in your family can do.
Reverse the alphabet? If we survive this, you have to show me that later.
Okay? But I meant magic.
Arc's right.
The rest of your family might be knights, but you're going to be the first magical knight.
And they'll have to worry about living up to your legacy.
Hm, I never thought of that.
Thanks, guys.
ZOMBIES: (GRUNTING) How about using your magic to make our brains less delicious, so these zombies let us go? My magic's not strong enough to do that, but maybe I could fool them.
Cerebellumus, fakey-makey! You made brains? Gross! It's cauliflower.
Oh! Even more gross! ZOMBIES: (GROWLING) Even the zombies agree.
They're leaving.
Dude, you did it! You helped us finish the quest! Ha.
I did, didn't I? Maybe I will be a great knight, like the rest of my family.
ALL: (LAUGHING) - What? No! - (RAM'S HORN BLASTING) - (GROUND RUMBLING) - Why'd you do that? I don't know.
I got excited.
ZOMBIES: (GRUNTING) Let's get outta here! Right now! Go! ZOMBIES: (GRUNTING)
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