Kung Fu Panda: The Dragon Knight (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

Mister Mastodon

Y-You're still after the bears, right?
You've been following me
for weeks to ask me that?
Y-You knew I was following?
It was terribly obvious,
and frankly, very weird.
I got social anxiety.
What do you want?
I was thinking we could team up!
You know, meh and bleh?
We'd be unstoppable!
I'm a knight. Why would I need you?
Because I know where to start.
Lunch with you?
I'd rather eat my good eyeball.
A month at sea,
surging east through troubled waters,
past several bodacious islands,
to find the legendary Storm Wheels
on our quest to collect
the Tianshang Weapons
and stop Klaus and Veruca
once and for all.
Now we charge forth into new lands,
led by the leader of the ancient masters,
the fan favorite hero
from the Time Before Time comics
Master Mastodon!
I can't believe
the spirit of the legendary Mastodon
has possessed my very own dad!
It is I! The myth. The legend.
With Mastodon by our side,
we're going to slice through
Klaus and Veruca just like
Uh Who was the one
you defeated by slicing?
Ah, Master Snail.
A most formidable opponent.
A shame I had to slice him in half
like a soft cheese.
So cool!
Mm, what I would do for a soft cheese.
Or hard cheese.
Or anything remotely shaped like cheese.
Yes, and some moss tea!
Look, I'm back.
Oh, there goes my back.
There goes the last of our water.
- Land ho!
- Mm?
We've made it.
Sand! I love sand.
Goodbye, bucket.
You're lucky that landed right side up.
On your guard.
Klaus and Veruca may already be here.
I hid my Storm Wheels north of here.
It shall be a long journey.
Why are you all standing around?
Can someone punch my liver
and crack my spine first?
Two dads, one goose.
'Tis the epic tale of Dad Mastodon.
Dad-stadon? Masto-dad?
We should find food. We need our strength.
In my time, we journeyed
until we collapsed on rocks.
And then we slept on those rocks.
And then? We ate those rocks.
Yeah, Blade. We'll be fine.
Just like the old masters.
I'm good!
Look, a farm!
This is just like issue 503,
when you and Master Long-Tooth
sought shelter in the soybean farm.
Lunch awaits!
So hungry.
This seems like private land.
Land is not private.
We are but momentary smudges
on Earth's vibrant coat.
Yeah, Blade. We're just smudges.
Po, you don't need to
impress anyone, okay?
Blade, he is the Master Mastodon.
He's epic. You saw the comic.
His muscles have muscles!
Oh, hey. Not a thief, I'm just
I'm stealing food.
Like a thief.
Still feel
like the ancient masters?
Where's your monster, huh?
Wait, what?
Ooh! My back!
I just need one punch.
Like, right over here.
Hit me!
- Where's your giant scorpion tail, huh?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
We have no quarrel with you, fair frogs,
but no one will stand
in the way of our mission.
Follow us. Quickly.
Please teach me everything
about everything ever.
I am so sick of this.
I hate walking too.
I don't care how healthy it is. I chafe.
No, I'm sick of this mission.
This was meant to be
the start of a glorious career.
Instead, I'm reduced to
following some security guard.
Don't mess with me, man.
I was an Imperial Guard.
Am I supposed to be impressed?
I'm a knight.
We're the mightiest force in the world.
Mm-hmm. Which is why you need
my help to get the bear, right?
Hey, look!
There! That's Po's home.
Should be plenty of clues.
Maybe some noodles.
Oh, I've never had chocolate hot before!
It feels like
it's hugging me from the inside.
- Hm, my heart's going really fast.
- Slow down on the sweets.
Mm-hmm. Mm.
We must return to our mission.
And what mission might that be?
Excuse our hostility,
but for the past few months,
a monster has been stealing our crops.
A monster? Stealing chocolate?
Whoa! Monster with a sweet tooth.
Cacao is both food and currency for us.
This farm has had
the fortune of abundant rain and harvest,
even in the dry season.
Unfortunately, success means enemies.
They hate you because they ain't you.
But we have a secret weapon.
- Is it like a wheel, or
- Math!
Ooh! Pelpel, do the thing.
By my projections, the attacks
happen on the third day of the month,
divided by the amount of crops taken.
Divide base geometry over mode difference
minus the amount of crops
that have been saved.
In other words,
they'll be attacking again tonight.
And we'll be ready.
Whoa! You're like a
A abacus
with abacus brain.
No, no. Foolproof!
He used your words against you!
Using my projections,
we're going to capture it.
Pelpel. It's time.
Fear not!
We are here to help.
Oh, um, no, no, no. That's not necessary.
Please. It's the least we could do.
Just make sure
the crops aren't harmed, okay?
Thank-Thank you!
- He said this stuff is money, right?
- You're safe with me, future chocolate.
What kind of coward's task is this?
Stand guard of plants?
I don't know.
We sure this plan of theirs is foolproof?
I mean,
depends if you believe in monsters.
Which, which I do!
The monster!
They're about to get sneak attacked.
What are they doing?
Yo, the monster's here!
They're no match.
Let us fight this creature
and be done with it.
What about the plan?
Plans are what weak people make
before they are sliced like soft cheese.
Okay, yeah. We got this.
Just like the ancient masters.
Finally, one of you
shows some actual spirit.
I've learned from the best.
Is this the moment to ask if you could
sign my Time Before Time first edition?
No! Just later.
This is the best day of my life!
No! Stop! No!
You're sending it off its trajectory!
This isn't what I projected!
Okay, new path over time,
divided by two, plus all vertices times
The Dalvik Body Slam!
It's wearing armor.
Curse this weak goose body.
Come on, come on. Use your ghost muscles!
Don't worry, I'll use mine!
Prepare to be laid to Ow!
My body is broken.
Oh, yeah! Black Steel of the
Where-Where am I?
Did Mastodon abandon us?
I got you, Dad!
I'm back, baby!
What is this thing made of?
These things are invincible.
What do we do?
I could give you my opinion,
if you're interested.
Master Mastodon? Sir?
Ancient master, mentor,
acquaintance quickly turning into
a close personal friend?
What did you do?
We thought you needed help.
You were just standing around.
We charted the movement,
projected the path,
we had a trap engineered and ready.
That's how traps work!
I thought we could epically
slay it ourselves. I should have listened.
But there's gotta be another shot.
We'll do anything you need,
exactly like you say this time.
Let's see.
At current mass, we can increase velocity,
divided by the amount of crops taken.
Numbers torque
by the rate of ten to
Oh, that could get violent.
Anything we need, right?
Hey, you big dumb monster. Take that!
What's the matter? Afraid to fight us now?
I hope Pelpel's math is right about this!
Don't let it eat me, son!
We have to go faster!
We caught it!
We finally caught it!
I'm surprised you can run that fast.
It's the chocolate.
It's the chocolate.
Uh, is it dead?
Careful. Its armor
is the strongest I've ever seen.
It's some kind of titanium compound,
but it's not armor.
This is no monster.
It's a machine!
Someone was controlling it
from the inside.
And they escaped.
Whoa! Someone built this thing?
Was that
My Storm Wheels.
That lightning
stole my hot chocolate!
The Protector saved us.
Klaus and Veruca haven't beaten us
to the wheels, but someone else has.
I failed.
Why did you ditch us?
Why do you just leave
when things get tough? It's so
I'm not the perfect warrior
you read about in your comic books.
But you idolized me.
I wanted to be who you thought I was.
To be honest, most days I don't feel
like an ancient master at all.
I feel more like an ancient
That explains a lot.
From now on, let's just
treat each other like equals, okay?
I have just one request.
Let's not change bodies
in the middle of a bathroom break.
I realize that was very specific,
but it needed to be said.
Couldn't sleep either, huh?
My brain won't quiet.
Klaus and Veruca,
now this Protector with the Storm Wheels
My mission used to be so simple.
Yeah. Maybe this will help.
I know it's not
the Knight's Code or anything, but
You're right.
Things aren't as simple
as all that anymore.
"The best leaders
know when to listen and follow."
That's actually quite good.
Did you draw Master Mastodon carrying you
around on his shoulders in the margin?
Oh, uh I meant to erase that.
This stuff
really isn't coming off.
Too bad! It's mine now.
I call it the
"Super Awesome Former Dragon Master,
Title Pending, and Sort of Knight,
But Really Should be Knighted,
Knight from England" Code.
Hmm. How about
How about the Dragon Knight's Codebook?
Look at my arm. Chills.
Dragon Knights!
- Uh, you can let go of my arm now.
- Not yet.
Where are they?
They must have left
some clue in this noodle shop.
Nothing over here.
Oh yeah. Like you're gonna find
a clue under the table.
That's his father, the goose.
The man is unhinged!
Oh, I'd do anything to see
his weird little face when I capture Po.
What is she
Nope! Mm-mm. Never mind. I'm out!
Who is she?
It's Forouzan.
The pirate queen.
I found him!
I found him.
Heading east on the Pacific.
It's him, ma'am, it's him.
The noodle goose.
Looks like we'll need a crew.
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