Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e04 Episode Script
The Intruder Flies a Crooked Path
1 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DOOR CLANGING OPEN.]
JINDIAO: That scroll will never see the light of day.
All must know the truth.
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
Unfortunately, the memory of you will die here today.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
He is too powerful for us to contain without the Spirit Urn.
We cannot wait for its arrival.
We must not let him discover the Wellspring.
I only wish we had gotten this scroll to Oogway.
But perhaps someday, the truth will be uncovered.
It has been my greatest honor serving alongside you.
JINDIAO: No! My soul, cast out from my beautiful dragon body was hurled across the wide world.
I needed a new body.
And only had poor specimens to chose from.
And sure, my brother-in-law's a handsome enough guy, but You okay, Chong? Peasants.
You disgust me! Of all the bodies I could've inhabited I get stranded in this.
[EXASPERATED SIGH.]
I need you to find that scroll before those children and Po read it.
Once I have taken Po's chi, I will be powerful enough to drain those children of what is rightfully mine.
I require the items on this list from the alchemist in Tuoluo.
For my trip to Panda Village.
[EXCITED GASPING.]
What does it say, Master Po? We hoped.
Turned out he had become.
Danger.
Need Spirit Urn.
Destruction.
There's a bunch of words missing.
Jing, I think we need all of the chi from the Four Constellations.
You know I don't know how to activate my stupid chi, yet.
I know, but try, kiddo.
[SCOFFS.]
[STRAINING.]
You're doin' it.
[ALL CHEER.]
Ooh! Keep it up, kiddo.
[CHI DISSIPATING.]
[BOTH GASPING.]
Oh.
[GRUNTS.]
See? I told you.
[JING GROANS IN ANGER.]
Good effort! Can't even Dumb! Jing? Useless! Can't even Jing, listen Dumb! You can't be too hard on yourself.
This stuff isn't easy.
It's gonna come when it comes.
[SIGHS.]
How? I don't know.
You'll just feel it.
Ow! [GROANING.]
[BELL TOLLING.]
The summoning bell! Does that mean it's an attack? Let's go.
[WARRIOR SCREAM.]
Stay behind me, kids.
Master Po, wait.
Shaka-booyah! No, son, stop! [PO SCREAMING.]
These monks are with the Temple of the Heavenly Plumblossom.
We are pleased to present of The Most Auspicious Temple of the Heavenward Plumblossom Serene Moonbeam, the high-exalted, benevolent, magnanimous, supreme Grand Abbot Jindiao.
Greetings, all you beautiful pandas.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Look no ring, and he still has all his feathers.
I [NIBBLING.]
I think he likes me.
[CRYING.]
They're so cute at that age.
Wow.
Uh.
This Grand Abbot Jindiao, he's a big deal then, huh? Uh-huh.
And, I mean he just caught me beating up all of his monks? Uh-huh.
Okay.
Well, I'm not gonna freak out.
You must be the Dragon Master.
I've heard so much about you that I simply had to come and pay my respects.
[WHEEZING AND COUGHING.]
No, the respects are all mine.
I mean, in the paying department.
I feel like I should be paying or we could split the check.
I mean [CLEARS THROAT.]
Sorry about all the You know, with the little, you know And, who are these flying children? [ALL GASP.]
These are my Kung Fu students.
What a wonderful moment to be so close to all of you.
Such a beautiful village.
Perhaps you could give me a little tour? Sure thing.
One official Dragon Master tour coming right up! I look forward to getting to know each one of you very soon.
PO: So, as you can see, I'm really proud of all the work my students have done to make this place a home.
A home full of practice dummies and punching bags and sharp objects.
So, anyway [SIGH OF ADMIRATION.]
What the heck you lookin' at, bubba? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Grand Abbot Jindiao teaches us in his wisdom that everything is nothing and nothing is everything.
Okay then, thanks for nothing.
See? Now you're getting it.
I wonder if I might ask a huge favor? Anything, Grand Abbot Jindiao.
It would mean the world to my little Pika Monks if we could have a Kung Fu exhibition match.
Your students against my students.
Sure.
An exhibition match.
Just a little exhibish.
Between friends.
PO: Sounds like fun, huh kids? Oh, my gosh! I can't wait to try real Kung Fu in a safe, heavily regulated tournament setting.
And we should celebrate this auspicious event with a meal between friends.
Yeah! Now it's a party.
Cart, show Daddy Ping where the mean panda hurts you.
I'll kiss it and make it all better.
What? You talk to it like it's alive.
Don't listen to him, Cart.
And you, you talk to your plants.
Plants are alive.
And, they're my friends.
Without them I'm just a little bit alone.
And, these two are? My two dads.
It is a great honor.
I brought Cart! Actually, Dads, I'm glad you're both here.
You are? You are? Yes, because you can volunteer to help out.
Grand Abbot Jindiao and I are going to have a Kung Fu exhibition match between our students.
Dad, you'll be in charge of running the exhibition match.
And, Dad, you'll be in charge of the big celebration dinner beforehand! How much do I get paid? Remember, this is a friendly exhibition match.
Right? Between friends.
Points only.
And definitely no chi.
Okay, guys? Pull your punches and Jing, you wanna join us over here? What I want to do is get my dumb chi pumping and read this janky scroll.
Look, I know you feel like you let your friends down.
BAO: Yeah, she did! Quiet, you.
Truth is, sometimes it's up to the universe.
You have to be patient.
BAO: So, let's go! [JING WHOOPING.]
NU HAI: I give up.
PO: It's gonna be so great The scroll must be in there.
Find it.
[HUMMING AND SCATTING.]
MEI MEI: Adore me, people.
I am the Queen of the Ribbon And, finish! I said finish! Thank you! Your applause almost fills the bottomless hole in my heart where the happiness should be.
What a wonderful performance! Before we start, I would like for Po and I to raise our bowls in a toast to friendship.
Mad respect.
[STOMACH GRUMBLING.]
And now, I'm so proud to present to you my Kung Fu students facing off against The Flying Don't laugh.
The Flying Pika Monks, of The Most Auspicious Temple of the Heavenward Plumblossom Serene Moonbeam! [GRUMBLING.]
Have you ever considered getting a A shorter name for I'm not feeling so hot.
Sorry, I just Coming in for a rough landing! PANDA 1: Somebody give him mouth-to-mouth.
And the dumplings [MUMBLING.]
What's wrong with him? I've seen this before.
It's some kind of allergic reaction to something he ate.
Well, he was never allergic to anything before.
Don't worry.
I'll nurse Po back to health.
You two should continue with the exhibition match.
We should continue with the exhibition match.
I am known as the healer of healers.
You are known as the healer of healers.
Why are you keep repeating what he's saying? Over and over again? I don't need a repeat.
Is Master Po okay? He's fine, kids.
Let's continue with the exhibition match.
[PO MOANING.]
Don't worry, children.
[VOICE CHANGES.]
He's in excellent hands.
I found it! The scroll? No.
I dropped my lucky seashell during all the ransacking.
But, I found it.
Silence, Huifang! Those children must have taken the scroll with them.
[BLOWS A RASPBERRY.]
Where am I? Surrender your chi to me! What the heck is going on? LI: Everyone, Po is fine.
So, please don't worry.
He is in the capable care of the Grand Abbot Jindiao who has asked us to continue with the Kung Fu exhibition match.
Will the referee please take her place? Let's get ready to exhibit.
Have at it.
Get your dry salty plums here.
You're just getting whomped on, flounced, paddled, destroyed.
Those little Pika Monks are taking you behind the woodshed.
You must be insanely embarrassed right now and you probably should As usual, not your best pep talk, Grandma.
Come on, Jing.
You're up next.
MR.
PING: Oh.
Well JADE TUSK: I see the scroll.
The angry one stashed it in the food cart.
You are strong.
But you will not be strong enough.
Come at me, bro.
And, fight! Go ahead, little fella.
Just get it over with.
Put me down.
Put me out of my loser-filled-misery.
Don't despair, little girl.
Life is beautiful.
I got an idea.
I'll give you this point.
It'll make you feel better.
Thanks, guy.
Hey, fellas.
I'm gonna let her get Hey! That was a sucker punch.
Not cool.
Nice.
Total bush league move.
If that's how they want to do this, I say we give it back to them, in kind.
Wait, guys.
It was my idea, I just wasn't ready.
Hey! No fair! Those little guys are acting like bullies.
And I hate bullies.
Especially when they're so huggably soft.
They won't be cuter than me when we knock some scars into them.
I am the cutest one here! I hereby call a free for all.
Do you think we should tell them that I wanted you to hit me? Nah, let's let them do their thing a little bit longer.
Fun to watch.
Keep your hands off my goodies.
Help! Cart under attack! Silence! NU HAI: Stop! You again? Hey! That's no way to treat that pathetic old man! Poison Clan.
To me.
No! I can save you, Cart.
It's going to be okay.
No! I have beaten you, Po.
Give me your chi, now.
Give me your chi! I command it! Yes! MYSTERY VOICE: Master Po, get up.
Fight.
You are in your own mind.
Master Oogway? No, Dragon Master, but I am a friend.
You have all the power in your own mind.
Get up.
I don't know who you are, and I don't care.
But get out of my head! That was one crazy dream.
Grand Abbot Jindiao? Oh, no! My butt! So much pain! Everyone, please! Stop hurting each other.
PO: Help, somebody help.
I woke up and found Grand Abbot Jindiao like this.
He's barely breathing.
Yes! [WHIMPERING VOICE.]
Thank you, dear one.
Master Po, you should be very proud of your students.
And you really showed me something special today.
Jing, if you have any of that White Tiger healing chi left? My butt really hurts.
JING: I'm not goin' anywhere near your butt, bubba.
FAN TONG: No worries.
My butt will be fine.
What of the scroll, Jade Tusk? Destroyed, Master.
Good.
Then we needn't worry about anyone learning of the past.
NU HAI: I just couldn't wait until tomorrow.
We'll show Master Po what it says, but I gotta see it now.
Let's do this.
Jing? "This is the last will and testament of the Four Constellations.
"And a dire warning.
"Beware the Dragon Master.
"He has turned evil corrupted by the Golden Chi bestowed upon him.
"The Dragon Master desires control of the Wellspring.
"We have only one chance to contain him.
"If we fail, there is only darkness.
"Beware, beware the Dragon Master.
" [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[DOOR CLANGING OPEN.]
JINDIAO: That scroll will never see the light of day.
All must know the truth.
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
Unfortunately, the memory of you will die here today.
[ALL GRUNTING.]
He is too powerful for us to contain without the Spirit Urn.
We cannot wait for its arrival.
We must not let him discover the Wellspring.
I only wish we had gotten this scroll to Oogway.
But perhaps someday, the truth will be uncovered.
It has been my greatest honor serving alongside you.
JINDIAO: No! My soul, cast out from my beautiful dragon body was hurled across the wide world.
I needed a new body.
And only had poor specimens to chose from.
And sure, my brother-in-law's a handsome enough guy, but You okay, Chong? Peasants.
You disgust me! Of all the bodies I could've inhabited I get stranded in this.
[EXASPERATED SIGH.]
I need you to find that scroll before those children and Po read it.
Once I have taken Po's chi, I will be powerful enough to drain those children of what is rightfully mine.
I require the items on this list from the alchemist in Tuoluo.
For my trip to Panda Village.
[EXCITED GASPING.]
What does it say, Master Po? We hoped.
Turned out he had become.
Danger.
Need Spirit Urn.
Destruction.
There's a bunch of words missing.
Jing, I think we need all of the chi from the Four Constellations.
You know I don't know how to activate my stupid chi, yet.
I know, but try, kiddo.
[SCOFFS.]
[STRAINING.]
You're doin' it.
[ALL CHEER.]
Ooh! Keep it up, kiddo.
[CHI DISSIPATING.]
[BOTH GASPING.]
Oh.
[GRUNTS.]
See? I told you.
[JING GROANS IN ANGER.]
Good effort! Can't even Dumb! Jing? Useless! Can't even Jing, listen Dumb! You can't be too hard on yourself.
This stuff isn't easy.
It's gonna come when it comes.
[SIGHS.]
How? I don't know.
You'll just feel it.
Ow! [GROANING.]
[BELL TOLLING.]
The summoning bell! Does that mean it's an attack? Let's go.
[WARRIOR SCREAM.]
Stay behind me, kids.
Master Po, wait.
Shaka-booyah! No, son, stop! [PO SCREAMING.]
These monks are with the Temple of the Heavenly Plumblossom.
We are pleased to present of The Most Auspicious Temple of the Heavenward Plumblossom Serene Moonbeam, the high-exalted, benevolent, magnanimous, supreme Grand Abbot Jindiao.
Greetings, all you beautiful pandas.
[ALL CHEERING.]
Look no ring, and he still has all his feathers.
I [NIBBLING.]
I think he likes me.
[CRYING.]
They're so cute at that age.
Wow.
Uh.
This Grand Abbot Jindiao, he's a big deal then, huh? Uh-huh.
And, I mean he just caught me beating up all of his monks? Uh-huh.
Okay.
Well, I'm not gonna freak out.
You must be the Dragon Master.
I've heard so much about you that I simply had to come and pay my respects.
[WHEEZING AND COUGHING.]
No, the respects are all mine.
I mean, in the paying department.
I feel like I should be paying or we could split the check.
I mean [CLEARS THROAT.]
Sorry about all the You know, with the little, you know And, who are these flying children? [ALL GASP.]
These are my Kung Fu students.
What a wonderful moment to be so close to all of you.
Such a beautiful village.
Perhaps you could give me a little tour? Sure thing.
One official Dragon Master tour coming right up! I look forward to getting to know each one of you very soon.
PO: So, as you can see, I'm really proud of all the work my students have done to make this place a home.
A home full of practice dummies and punching bags and sharp objects.
So, anyway [SIGH OF ADMIRATION.]
What the heck you lookin' at, bubba? Nothing.
What's that supposed to mean? Grand Abbot Jindiao teaches us in his wisdom that everything is nothing and nothing is everything.
Okay then, thanks for nothing.
See? Now you're getting it.
I wonder if I might ask a huge favor? Anything, Grand Abbot Jindiao.
It would mean the world to my little Pika Monks if we could have a Kung Fu exhibition match.
Your students against my students.
Sure.
An exhibition match.
Just a little exhibish.
Between friends.
PO: Sounds like fun, huh kids? Oh, my gosh! I can't wait to try real Kung Fu in a safe, heavily regulated tournament setting.
And we should celebrate this auspicious event with a meal between friends.
Yeah! Now it's a party.
Cart, show Daddy Ping where the mean panda hurts you.
I'll kiss it and make it all better.
What? You talk to it like it's alive.
Don't listen to him, Cart.
And you, you talk to your plants.
Plants are alive.
And, they're my friends.
Without them I'm just a little bit alone.
And, these two are? My two dads.
It is a great honor.
I brought Cart! Actually, Dads, I'm glad you're both here.
You are? You are? Yes, because you can volunteer to help out.
Grand Abbot Jindiao and I are going to have a Kung Fu exhibition match between our students.
Dad, you'll be in charge of running the exhibition match.
And, Dad, you'll be in charge of the big celebration dinner beforehand! How much do I get paid? Remember, this is a friendly exhibition match.
Right? Between friends.
Points only.
And definitely no chi.
Okay, guys? Pull your punches and Jing, you wanna join us over here? What I want to do is get my dumb chi pumping and read this janky scroll.
Look, I know you feel like you let your friends down.
BAO: Yeah, she did! Quiet, you.
Truth is, sometimes it's up to the universe.
You have to be patient.
BAO: So, let's go! [JING WHOOPING.]
NU HAI: I give up.
PO: It's gonna be so great The scroll must be in there.
Find it.
[HUMMING AND SCATTING.]
MEI MEI: Adore me, people.
I am the Queen of the Ribbon And, finish! I said finish! Thank you! Your applause almost fills the bottomless hole in my heart where the happiness should be.
What a wonderful performance! Before we start, I would like for Po and I to raise our bowls in a toast to friendship.
Mad respect.
[STOMACH GRUMBLING.]
And now, I'm so proud to present to you my Kung Fu students facing off against The Flying Don't laugh.
The Flying Pika Monks, of The Most Auspicious Temple of the Heavenward Plumblossom Serene Moonbeam! [GRUMBLING.]
Have you ever considered getting a A shorter name for I'm not feeling so hot.
Sorry, I just Coming in for a rough landing! PANDA 1: Somebody give him mouth-to-mouth.
And the dumplings [MUMBLING.]
What's wrong with him? I've seen this before.
It's some kind of allergic reaction to something he ate.
Well, he was never allergic to anything before.
Don't worry.
I'll nurse Po back to health.
You two should continue with the exhibition match.
We should continue with the exhibition match.
I am known as the healer of healers.
You are known as the healer of healers.
Why are you keep repeating what he's saying? Over and over again? I don't need a repeat.
Is Master Po okay? He's fine, kids.
Let's continue with the exhibition match.
[PO MOANING.]
Don't worry, children.
[VOICE CHANGES.]
He's in excellent hands.
I found it! The scroll? No.
I dropped my lucky seashell during all the ransacking.
But, I found it.
Silence, Huifang! Those children must have taken the scroll with them.
[BLOWS A RASPBERRY.]
Where am I? Surrender your chi to me! What the heck is going on? LI: Everyone, Po is fine.
So, please don't worry.
He is in the capable care of the Grand Abbot Jindiao who has asked us to continue with the Kung Fu exhibition match.
Will the referee please take her place? Let's get ready to exhibit.
Have at it.
Get your dry salty plums here.
You're just getting whomped on, flounced, paddled, destroyed.
Those little Pika Monks are taking you behind the woodshed.
You must be insanely embarrassed right now and you probably should As usual, not your best pep talk, Grandma.
Come on, Jing.
You're up next.
MR.
PING: Oh.
Well JADE TUSK: I see the scroll.
The angry one stashed it in the food cart.
You are strong.
But you will not be strong enough.
Come at me, bro.
And, fight! Go ahead, little fella.
Just get it over with.
Put me down.
Put me out of my loser-filled-misery.
Don't despair, little girl.
Life is beautiful.
I got an idea.
I'll give you this point.
It'll make you feel better.
Thanks, guy.
Hey, fellas.
I'm gonna let her get Hey! That was a sucker punch.
Not cool.
Nice.
Total bush league move.
If that's how they want to do this, I say we give it back to them, in kind.
Wait, guys.
It was my idea, I just wasn't ready.
Hey! No fair! Those little guys are acting like bullies.
And I hate bullies.
Especially when they're so huggably soft.
They won't be cuter than me when we knock some scars into them.
I am the cutest one here! I hereby call a free for all.
Do you think we should tell them that I wanted you to hit me? Nah, let's let them do their thing a little bit longer.
Fun to watch.
Keep your hands off my goodies.
Help! Cart under attack! Silence! NU HAI: Stop! You again? Hey! That's no way to treat that pathetic old man! Poison Clan.
To me.
No! I can save you, Cart.
It's going to be okay.
No! I have beaten you, Po.
Give me your chi, now.
Give me your chi! I command it! Yes! MYSTERY VOICE: Master Po, get up.
Fight.
You are in your own mind.
Master Oogway? No, Dragon Master, but I am a friend.
You have all the power in your own mind.
Get up.
I don't know who you are, and I don't care.
But get out of my head! That was one crazy dream.
Grand Abbot Jindiao? Oh, no! My butt! So much pain! Everyone, please! Stop hurting each other.
PO: Help, somebody help.
I woke up and found Grand Abbot Jindiao like this.
He's barely breathing.
Yes! [WHIMPERING VOICE.]
Thank you, dear one.
Master Po, you should be very proud of your students.
And you really showed me something special today.
Jing, if you have any of that White Tiger healing chi left? My butt really hurts.
JING: I'm not goin' anywhere near your butt, bubba.
FAN TONG: No worries.
My butt will be fine.
What of the scroll, Jade Tusk? Destroyed, Master.
Good.
Then we needn't worry about anyone learning of the past.
NU HAI: I just couldn't wait until tomorrow.
We'll show Master Po what it says, but I gotta see it now.
Let's do this.
Jing? "This is the last will and testament of the Four Constellations.
"And a dire warning.
"Beware the Dragon Master.
"He has turned evil corrupted by the Golden Chi bestowed upon him.
"The Dragon Master desires control of the Wellspring.
"We have only one chance to contain him.
"If we fail, there is only darkness.
"Beware, beware the Dragon Master.
" [THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]