Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e09 Episode Script
Out of the Cave and Onto Thin Ice
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
BUNNIDHARMA: I was but a simple potter.
Until one day, destiny called me to a greater task.
Master Oogway needed my help.
Dragon Master Jindiao had grown drunk with power and desired the Wellspring.
It would be my most considerable task yet.
So, I molded my masterpiece, the Spirit Urn, to trap Jindiao's evil soul.
I was to deliver it to the Four Constellations.
[ROARS.]
And it came down to me to save the land and save the Universe.
But sadly I overslept.
-[GASPS.]
-PO: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You overslept? [GULPS.]
Dude Yes.
That urn was the only thing that could have saved the Universe from Jindiao.
The one you've been letting me eat raisins out of? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
These are raisins, aren't they? I imagine some of them are.
As for where Jindiao's soul ended up, your guess is as good as mine.
I know where his soul is, and he's trying to take over the world.
[GASPS.]
Jindiao has returned? Jing, are you all right? It's Jindiao.
He's trying to make a chi connection.
Okay, this is fine.
We'll just stop running.
Find a cozy bed and breakfast, and lay low.
Wait.
Maybe Fan Tong's right.
I am? Cool.
Because there's this charming little cottage not too far from here.
Run by these two guys.
Both named Keith.
No.
We stop running.
Jindiao and his goon squad are on our panda butts.
But maybe we can use that to lure them into a trap.
And we're the bait.
Why did you say that like you're excited? Jing, we're gonna need your help.
JINDIAO: The little Pandas are close.
The Angry One will not trick me again.
[WIND HOWLING.]
Guy, this is your chance at redemption! Your very own karmic mulligan! I have no idea what that means.
The new Four Constellations are in danger, and need our help.
We gotta destroy Jindiao and trap him in your Urn! You've been waiting for this moment for a thousand years! It's destiny! Meh, I can wait longer.
And so can you.
You're not ready, Po.
If you leave now, before you regain your chi, then Jindiao will de-life us all! [SCREAMS.]
I'm not going, get your pudgy fingers off of me! Eh, nope.
Hey! That's not pudge.
It's muscle.
-[GRUNTS.]
-Ah! [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Look, old man.
I've had just about enough of you acting like a -Ow! -[GROANS.]
[KUNG FU GRUNTS.]
[SIGHS.]
You seriously wanna do this? You seriously want to get beat up by a tiny bunny rabbit with dementia? [GRUNTS.]
Ow! You're not a bad physical therapist, old timer.
Ow! [GRUNTS.]
Sadly for you, I got my -[GRUNTS.]
-Booya-shaka! Mmm.
You are a future failure.
Just like me.
Call me whatever you want, a bust, a dud, a big old dudareeno.
And so what, I know I might fail.
Where are all these raisins coming from? [SIGHS.]
But that's the difference between you and me.
I'm cool if I die trying.
[STRAINS.]
My students are out there.
I can feel it.
You don't know what kind of forces you're up against.
Oh and P.
S.
If I had gotten my buddies de-lifed by a guy who's trying to take over the world again, I'd want to do something about it.
Wake up, bozo! Wake up! -Argh! -[SNORING.]
We have a village full of cursed sleeping pandas.
And sure Po's alive, but we don't have a clue where he is.
-[SCREAMS.]
-My son is alive? My son, the Dragon Master Po? Is alive? Po is alive! Everyone.
Ow! Rejoice! My son! Po! Uh, he lives and breathes! [LAUGHS.]
[SNORING.]
Uh, what happened to the Villagers? You don't remember? Mmm? [SCREAMING.]
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[SIGHS.]
If Grand Abbot Jindiao is evil, Then we are all in grave danger.
[STUTTERS.]
How'd you break the spell on me? I don't know.
You woke up when I said Po was alive.
After I loosened you up with a good beating.
Well, maybe that's what reversed the curse.
The beating? No.
Something that I wanted to hear more than anything in the world.
Something that brought me hope.
We better get started.
Master, our combined weight could crack the ice.
I suggest we go around.
It's the middle of winter.
The lake has been frozen for months.
Just tip toe or something.
[FOOTSTEPS.]
You guys ready to play ball? Jing, we just need you to get in there long enough to mess with Jindiao's head.
Wonderful.
That's the spirit! [CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
-[GRUNTS.]
-[LAUGHS.]
-[GROANS.]
-[GASPS.]
Is everything okay, Master Jindiao? I'm fine.
[GROANS.]
Just, just feel a little not my myself.
[GASPS.]
I think it's working guys.
Jing's invading his mind.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Master, what are you doing? Chip-chip-chip.
I'm a chicken! Chip-chip.
Chip-chip-chip.
I'm a chicken! Master! Master! Please stop! We'll sink! Stop what? This? [GRUNTS.]
Ahh.
Ahh Be perfectly still.
Why? -[PANTING.]
-Jing? That you? The connection's broken.
That should buy us some time.
[GASPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[ROARS.]
Not enough time! That was not enough time! [GROWLS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
-[YAWNING.]
-[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
[YAWNING.]
LI: As your mayor, I'd like to welcome you all back MR.
PING: Louder so we can all hear you! Uh, it's good to have the village alive and well.
-And not cursed by a -Is this heaven? -Nope, it's real life.
-GRANDMA: You're wasting time! The world as we know it could crumble at any moment.
Yes, good point.
Folks, I'm sure right now it feels like there is nothing to believe in.
As if the Universe appears to be a meaningless abyss where only the cold embrace of death is guaranteed.
Hurry up, I've got mouths to feed.
But we must put all of that behind us now, -and prepare to fight! -Holy crap.
[GROANS.]
-[GASPS.]
-Behind you.
Yes, we will put all of these events behind us.
No.
Behind you, bozo -[GASPS.]
-[GROWLS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Dry salty plums.
End of the world sale.
Everything must go.
[ROARS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Dude, I was totally about to use my chi to save us.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
Evening, children.
[WHIMPERING.]
[KUNG FU YELL.]
[GRUNTS.]
What are you doing here? Ow! A wise man once told me, "Something, something, something redemption.
" I can't remember.
Oh! And you forgot something.
Oh, yeah? What? [GASPS.]
Me.
I'm the only one who can find your students.
[SCOFFS.]
So your ears glow.
I'll give you a call sometime when I need a night-light.
Po [SIGHS.]
What? It is destiny.
Whoa! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Split up.
Come on.
Oh geez.
Oh geez.
We're gonna die.
[ROARS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Jing, you gotta get back inside Jindiao's brain and take control now! I'm under a lot of pressure right now and that tone isn't helping! [STRAINING.]
-[PANTS.]
-[JINDIAO LAUGHS.]
JINDIAO: Your skills have grown, Angry One.
It's a shame you won't get out of here alive to use them.
I'm not afraid of you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Show me.
[GRUNTS.]
[SHRIEKS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Hiyah! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Surrender, child.
You won't feel a thing.
[GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
It will be quick and easy.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GROANS.]
No! [LAUGHS.]
Look what you did.
No No, this isn't real.
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
-Stop, please.
You are stressing me out.
Oh my.
My, my eczema is starting to flare.
PANDA: Get out of my way! Oh, my word.
Cuteness overload.
[LAUGHS.]
People, people.
Settle down.
[PANDA MOTHER SCREAMING.]
The zombie spider is eating my babies.
No, no.
Look.
He's not hurting them.
[GIGGLING.]
Enchante.
My name is Zhizhu.
And I do not eat Panda babies, you sillies.
They go straight to my thorax.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, come on.
Am I the only one who gets it? I and my kind have been a friend to the pandas for thousands of years.
-What? Come on.
No.
-Di you know this? -[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
-ZHIZHU: You think that sounds serious, well, buckle up for this: You pandas are all the guardians of the Sacred Chi Wellspring.
[ALL GASP.]
And if Jindiao finds it, the world as we know it is in grave danger.
[GRUNTING.]
Woo-hoo! Little help, Bao? Kinda got my hands full.
[HUIFANG SCREAMS.]
Sorry.
That was meant Never mind.
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, you're stronger than the others, Angry One.
Different.
When we first met, you were but a cranky little brat.
Your Hero Chi has grown immensely.
I thought I wanted it all for myself, but I was wrong.
[GRUNTS.]
Join me, child.
[GASPS.]
Don't let these fools hold you back.
Ah? JINDIAO: There is so much more to the world than what Master Po has taught you.
With my help, you could be one of the most powerful Kung Fu masters the world has ever seen.
You need only to depend on yourself.
Yeah, that's gonna be a big fat nope, gerbil-breath! [GRUNTS.]
You're making a grave mistake.
The universe is in your grasp! Hiyah! My friends, my family and my village are my universe! [GRUNTS.]
[JINDIAO SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[RUMBLING.]
[ALL GASP.]
[THUD.]
[CRACKING.]
Run! Avalanche! Master Jing.
Wake up.
Please.
[GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
What the heck? Oh, come on.
Where are the kids? This is because we spent all that time in your stupid cave when I should have been out here looking for my students.
[SIGHS.]
I thought your ears knew what they were doing.
They led us here, where we'll probably freeze to death, and I finished the last of the raisins.
How are we ever gonna find them? [SIGHS.]
I should have been here.
Your butt's glowing.
What? I'm no doctor, but you should get that looked at [GASPS.]
Aw yeah, we didn't die in an avalanche, y'all.
[LAUGHS.]
Hey! Gang! My kids! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
I'd like you to meet the guy responsible for saving my life, and yours.
Bunnidharma! Ow.
Oh, yeah.
He kinda does that a lot.
Wow.
You guys survived an avalanche.
Oh and check it out.
I found a way to stop Jindiao.
Where is it, come on.
The Spirit Urn! Urn, urn, urn, urn Sick.
You found the Spirit Urn.
The etching is even prettier in real life than in the scroll.
-Whoa! -You guys.
We can totally finish what the Four Constellations started.
Defeat Jindiao for real this time.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Wait, how do you guys know out the Spirit Urn? Long story.
That'll have to do for now.
Let's go find Jindiao.
So, uh, where is Ol' J.
D.
anyway? Huh? Yeah.
That one's on me.
[ROARS.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
BUNNIDHARMA: I was but a simple potter.
Until one day, destiny called me to a greater task.
Master Oogway needed my help.
Dragon Master Jindiao had grown drunk with power and desired the Wellspring.
It would be my most considerable task yet.
So, I molded my masterpiece, the Spirit Urn, to trap Jindiao's evil soul.
I was to deliver it to the Four Constellations.
[ROARS.]
And it came down to me to save the land and save the Universe.
But sadly I overslept.
-[GASPS.]
-PO: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You overslept? [GULPS.]
Dude Yes.
That urn was the only thing that could have saved the Universe from Jindiao.
The one you've been letting me eat raisins out of? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
These are raisins, aren't they? I imagine some of them are.
As for where Jindiao's soul ended up, your guess is as good as mine.
I know where his soul is, and he's trying to take over the world.
[GASPS.]
Jindiao has returned? Jing, are you all right? It's Jindiao.
He's trying to make a chi connection.
Okay, this is fine.
We'll just stop running.
Find a cozy bed and breakfast, and lay low.
Wait.
Maybe Fan Tong's right.
I am? Cool.
Because there's this charming little cottage not too far from here.
Run by these two guys.
Both named Keith.
No.
We stop running.
Jindiao and his goon squad are on our panda butts.
But maybe we can use that to lure them into a trap.
And we're the bait.
Why did you say that like you're excited? Jing, we're gonna need your help.
JINDIAO: The little Pandas are close.
The Angry One will not trick me again.
[WIND HOWLING.]
Guy, this is your chance at redemption! Your very own karmic mulligan! I have no idea what that means.
The new Four Constellations are in danger, and need our help.
We gotta destroy Jindiao and trap him in your Urn! You've been waiting for this moment for a thousand years! It's destiny! Meh, I can wait longer.
And so can you.
You're not ready, Po.
If you leave now, before you regain your chi, then Jindiao will de-life us all! [SCREAMS.]
I'm not going, get your pudgy fingers off of me! Eh, nope.
Hey! That's not pudge.
It's muscle.
-[GRUNTS.]
-Ah! [BLOWS RASPBERRY.]
Look, old man.
I've had just about enough of you acting like a -Ow! -[GROANS.]
[KUNG FU GRUNTS.]
[SIGHS.]
You seriously wanna do this? You seriously want to get beat up by a tiny bunny rabbit with dementia? [GRUNTS.]
Ow! You're not a bad physical therapist, old timer.
Ow! [GRUNTS.]
Sadly for you, I got my -[GRUNTS.]
-Booya-shaka! Mmm.
You are a future failure.
Just like me.
Call me whatever you want, a bust, a dud, a big old dudareeno.
And so what, I know I might fail.
Where are all these raisins coming from? [SIGHS.]
But that's the difference between you and me.
I'm cool if I die trying.
[STRAINS.]
My students are out there.
I can feel it.
You don't know what kind of forces you're up against.
Oh and P.
S.
If I had gotten my buddies de-lifed by a guy who's trying to take over the world again, I'd want to do something about it.
Wake up, bozo! Wake up! -Argh! -[SNORING.]
We have a village full of cursed sleeping pandas.
And sure Po's alive, but we don't have a clue where he is.
-[SCREAMS.]
-My son is alive? My son, the Dragon Master Po? Is alive? Po is alive! Everyone.
Ow! Rejoice! My son! Po! Uh, he lives and breathes! [LAUGHS.]
[SNORING.]
Uh, what happened to the Villagers? You don't remember? Mmm? [SCREAMING.]
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[SIGHS.]
If Grand Abbot Jindiao is evil, Then we are all in grave danger.
[STUTTERS.]
How'd you break the spell on me? I don't know.
You woke up when I said Po was alive.
After I loosened you up with a good beating.
Well, maybe that's what reversed the curse.
The beating? No.
Something that I wanted to hear more than anything in the world.
Something that brought me hope.
We better get started.
Master, our combined weight could crack the ice.
I suggest we go around.
It's the middle of winter.
The lake has been frozen for months.
Just tip toe or something.
[FOOTSTEPS.]
You guys ready to play ball? Jing, we just need you to get in there long enough to mess with Jindiao's head.
Wonderful.
That's the spirit! [CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
-[GRUNTS.]
-[LAUGHS.]
-[GROANS.]
-[GASPS.]
Is everything okay, Master Jindiao? I'm fine.
[GROANS.]
Just, just feel a little not my myself.
[GASPS.]
I think it's working guys.
Jing's invading his mind.
[GASPS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Master, what are you doing? Chip-chip-chip.
I'm a chicken! Chip-chip.
Chip-chip-chip.
I'm a chicken! Master! Master! Please stop! We'll sink! Stop what? This? [GRUNTS.]
Ahh.
Ahh Be perfectly still.
Why? -[PANTING.]
-Jing? That you? The connection's broken.
That should buy us some time.
[GASPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
[ROARS.]
Not enough time! That was not enough time! [GROWLS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
-[YAWNING.]
-[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
[YAWNING.]
LI: As your mayor, I'd like to welcome you all back MR.
PING: Louder so we can all hear you! Uh, it's good to have the village alive and well.
-And not cursed by a -Is this heaven? -Nope, it's real life.
-GRANDMA: You're wasting time! The world as we know it could crumble at any moment.
Yes, good point.
Folks, I'm sure right now it feels like there is nothing to believe in.
As if the Universe appears to be a meaningless abyss where only the cold embrace of death is guaranteed.
Hurry up, I've got mouths to feed.
But we must put all of that behind us now, -and prepare to fight! -Holy crap.
[GROANS.]
-[GASPS.]
-Behind you.
Yes, we will put all of these events behind us.
No.
Behind you, bozo -[GASPS.]
-[GROWLS.]
[SCREAMS.]
Dry salty plums.
End of the world sale.
Everything must go.
[ROARS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Dude, I was totally about to use my chi to save us.
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
Evening, children.
[WHIMPERING.]
[KUNG FU YELL.]
[GRUNTS.]
What are you doing here? Ow! A wise man once told me, "Something, something, something redemption.
" I can't remember.
Oh! And you forgot something.
Oh, yeah? What? [GASPS.]
Me.
I'm the only one who can find your students.
[SCOFFS.]
So your ears glow.
I'll give you a call sometime when I need a night-light.
Po [SIGHS.]
What? It is destiny.
Whoa! [ALL SCREAMING.]
Split up.
Come on.
Oh geez.
Oh geez.
We're gonna die.
[ROARS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Jing, you gotta get back inside Jindiao's brain and take control now! I'm under a lot of pressure right now and that tone isn't helping! [STRAINING.]
-[PANTS.]
-[JINDIAO LAUGHS.]
JINDIAO: Your skills have grown, Angry One.
It's a shame you won't get out of here alive to use them.
I'm not afraid of you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Show me.
[GRUNTS.]
[SHRIEKS.]
[LAUGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Hiyah! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
Surrender, child.
You won't feel a thing.
[GRUNTS.]
[GASPS.]
[LAUGHS.]
It will be quick and easy.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[PANTING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GROANS.]
No! [LAUGHS.]
Look what you did.
No No, this isn't real.
[BREATHES HEAVILY.]
-[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
-Stop, please.
You are stressing me out.
Oh my.
My, my eczema is starting to flare.
PANDA: Get out of my way! Oh, my word.
Cuteness overload.
[LAUGHS.]
People, people.
Settle down.
[PANDA MOTHER SCREAMING.]
The zombie spider is eating my babies.
No, no.
Look.
He's not hurting them.
[GIGGLING.]
Enchante.
My name is Zhizhu.
And I do not eat Panda babies, you sillies.
They go straight to my thorax.
[LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, come on.
Am I the only one who gets it? I and my kind have been a friend to the pandas for thousands of years.
-What? Come on.
No.
-Di you know this? -[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
-ZHIZHU: You think that sounds serious, well, buckle up for this: You pandas are all the guardians of the Sacred Chi Wellspring.
[ALL GASP.]
And if Jindiao finds it, the world as we know it is in grave danger.
[GRUNTING.]
Woo-hoo! Little help, Bao? Kinda got my hands full.
[HUIFANG SCREAMS.]
Sorry.
That was meant Never mind.
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Oh, you're stronger than the others, Angry One.
Different.
When we first met, you were but a cranky little brat.
Your Hero Chi has grown immensely.
I thought I wanted it all for myself, but I was wrong.
[GRUNTS.]
Join me, child.
[GASPS.]
Don't let these fools hold you back.
Ah? JINDIAO: There is so much more to the world than what Master Po has taught you.
With my help, you could be one of the most powerful Kung Fu masters the world has ever seen.
You need only to depend on yourself.
Yeah, that's gonna be a big fat nope, gerbil-breath! [GRUNTS.]
You're making a grave mistake.
The universe is in your grasp! Hiyah! My friends, my family and my village are my universe! [GRUNTS.]
[JINDIAO SCREAMS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[RUMBLING.]
[ALL GASP.]
[THUD.]
[CRACKING.]
Run! Avalanche! Master Jing.
Wake up.
Please.
[GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[GASPS.]
What the heck? Oh, come on.
Where are the kids? This is because we spent all that time in your stupid cave when I should have been out here looking for my students.
[SIGHS.]
I thought your ears knew what they were doing.
They led us here, where we'll probably freeze to death, and I finished the last of the raisins.
How are we ever gonna find them? [SIGHS.]
I should have been here.
Your butt's glowing.
What? I'm no doctor, but you should get that looked at [GASPS.]
Aw yeah, we didn't die in an avalanche, y'all.
[LAUGHS.]
Hey! Gang! My kids! [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
I'd like you to meet the guy responsible for saving my life, and yours.
Bunnidharma! Ow.
Oh, yeah.
He kinda does that a lot.
Wow.
You guys survived an avalanche.
Oh and check it out.
I found a way to stop Jindiao.
Where is it, come on.
The Spirit Urn! Urn, urn, urn, urn Sick.
You found the Spirit Urn.
The etching is even prettier in real life than in the scroll.
-Whoa! -You guys.
We can totally finish what the Four Constellations started.
Defeat Jindiao for real this time.
Oh, yeah, baby.
Wait, how do you guys know out the Spirit Urn? Long story.
That'll have to do for now.
Let's go find Jindiao.
So, uh, where is Ol' J.
D.
anyway? Huh? Yeah.
That one's on me.
[ROARS.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]