Kung Fu Panda: The Paws of Destiny (2018) s01e11 Episode Script

Unholy Dragon Returns to the Mountains

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
ZHIZHU: Long ago in the time before now, there was the Wellspring an endless fount of power, the source from which all chi flows.
It was protected by the Pandas who lived above it.
Powered by the Wellspring itself, they were known as The Panda Guardians.
But when it was threatened by Dragon Master Jindiao, the Original Four Constellations hid the Wellspring sealing it off in the last place Jindiao would ever look.
But with the Wellspring locked away, the Pandas' connection to it was broken, and their Guardian Chi ceased to flow.
Over generations, the Pandas forgot they were ever its guardians or that the Wellspring existed at all.
But Jindiao hasn't forgotten.
And when he comes for the Wellspring again, and he will, you must be ready.
Grandma, as the oldest member of Panda Village does any of this ring a bell? It was a thousand years ago.
How freaking old do you think I am? I gotta take a nap.
Oh! Yes.
Could you repeat everything you just said? I was distracted by all of your eyes.
[SIGHS.]
If it isn't "Former" Dragon Master Po and his former students.
[GRUNTING.]
I thought I smelled rat breath.
[SLURPS.]
Yes, repulsive habit, I agree.
Unfortunate result of sharing a body with the loathsome vulture spirit that came with it.
How did you find us? [CHUCKLES.]
Funny story.
First, we went to the wrong house.
You should've heard that family, they were all, "What?" and "Ahh" and "Don't hurt" And Bunnidharma.
Good to see you.
And right on time, for a change.
I'm not afraid of you, Jindiao.
Sorry to interrupt, but I've got a busy schedule that includes stealing the chi of these children, and destroying their Master.
But before we begin, I believe you have something I want.
Give me the urn.
[STUTTERS.]
You mean No.
This? Got it! [GRUNTING.]
[SCREAMS, WHIMPERS.]
[GRUNTING.]
JINDIAO: Enough! [KIDS WHIMPERING.]
Ah, so delicate, yet so powerful.
I can feel its power coursing through me, filling me with an urge to reconsider everything I stand for.
No! [PO AND KIDS GRUNTING.]
[BUNNIDHARMA GASPS.]
Now there's nothing to stop my rise to power.
GRANDMA: Panda Guardians? Magical Wellsprings? That story sounds as fake as most of my teeth.
ZHIZHU: But it's true.
It was I who helped the Pandas get in touch with their Guardian Chi in the first place.
Can I just say? You look great for your age.
Oh, I'm obsessive about moisturizing.
You pandas were once great warriors.
And it's crucial that you reconnect with your Guardian Chi.
Yeah, right.
The fate of the world lies in your paws.
[MR.
PING GASPS.]
[LAUGHING.]
ZHIZHU: I see someone understands the severity of the situation.
I was just trying not to blow out my cloaca at the idea of Panda Warriors with super powers.
Unless their super power is eating their feelings.
I hate to agree with the annoying bird, but I do.
Aside from Po, who, let's face it, is just a weird exception, we pandas are not built for fighting.
I'm a lover not a fighter.
I once killed a plate of dumplings.
Wait just a minute.
Don't you remember when we banded together and used our chi to defeat Kai? That only worked because we had Dragon Master Po with us.
We can't fight without his help.
But we don't know where Po is.
For all we know, he may need our help.
I don't know about you, but I believe the sticky insect.
Technically I'm an arachnid, but go on.
Sure, we're cute, cuddly dumpling eaters.
But just because that's all we know, that doesn't mean that's all we are.
FEMALE PANDA VILLAGER: [GASPS.]
Oh.
[VILLAGERS GASPING.]
[WHOOPS.]
You see? GRANDMA: Hey, Panda Guardian, guard yourself from this.
Chi block! [COUGHING.]
It's a start.
We'll work on the timing.
[ALL CHEERING.]
So let's get started! I'm not gonna stand here watching you idiots play with your chi.
I'm going to go find Po.
[JING GRUNTING.]
I can't get my dang chi to work! He must have warded the shackles.
Master, now that the urn is destroyed, what shall we do with the prisoners? I need the children.
Once I absorb their chi, I will finally be strong enough to access the Wellspring.
As for the long-eared fool, release him.
[BUNNIDHARMA GRUNTS.]
Let him walk the earth another 1,000 years to obsess over his failures.
I am sorry I failed you.
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
[CRYING SOFTLY.]
[SIGHS.]
That's okay! No, it's not.
I know, but I'm never sure what to say in these situations.
None of this is okay.
[GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
A little warning, if you are naughty again, I will destroy every panda within a thousand miles.
As for Po [GRUNTS.]
Listen up, children, for a teachable moment from a real Dragon Master.
Sometimes in life, you encounter those who claim to offer strength and wisdom, but in the end are nothing more than impostors who make promises they cannot keep.
Now, one could punish these fake heroes with pain and humiliation.
But as fun as that sounds, the best course of action is what one would do to a common fly.
Let it go? No! Swat it down! [JINDIAO YELLS.]
Po! [GASPS.]
[ALL SCREAM.]
[ANNOYED GRUNT.]
That was a waste of good chi.
Okay, okay.
We can fix this.
[GROANS.]
No, Po.
It is my time to pass.
But do not be sad.
I am ready.
Come closer, Po.
Closer.
[GRUNTS.]
Ow! Seriously? I'm pre-grieving.
Stop crying, and get to work! I have fulfilled my destiny.
But the universe is not done with you.
Thank you, Bunnidharma.
Get Jindiao and the children to the Temple of the Constellations.
You'll know what to do when you get there.
[ECHOING.]
When you get there Hmm.
[SIGHS.]
Oh, my, that was an unexpected treat, wasn't it? [LAUGHS.]
You're a monster.
Thank you.
Now then, whose chi to take first? Eeny, meeny, miney Po? If I tell you where the Wellspring is, will you spare their lives? What did you say? What is he doing? A trade.
Their lives for the location of the Wellspring.
I'm listening.
Don't tell him anything.
It's locked in a peach statue in the Temple of the Four Constellations.
FAN TONG: Is this really happening? But you'll never access it if you destroy them because Master Po, please, don't.
they're the only ones who know how to unlock it.
Oh, this does change things.
To the Temple of the Four Constellations.
Why trust him? I don't.
But without the Spirit Urn, they have no power over me.
And if Po is telling the truth, it'll be worth the trip.
Meditation is the foundation of chi.
A Panda Guardian must start with an empty mind.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
I think those two can skip this lesson.
Guardian Chi can only function when practiced in an atmosphere of trust.
Now, Mei Mei [WHOOPING.]
This is called a trust fall.
When I say the word I know how this works.
I close my eyes and fall, and then you catch me! Aah.
Oh.
Strength is important, but it is nothing without flexibility.
Now let's see what you've got.
Flabbergast me! [BOTH STRAINING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Bravo! That is a very impressive splits display.
What display? My pelvis gave out.
The ancient Masters cultivated the "Skill of Light Body.
" They could run across snowy peaks without leaving a footprint.
[LI GRUNTS.]
Look, Zhizhu, I'm doing it.
It's like I'm flying.
Woo-hoo-hoo! [LI GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Master Po.
What's the play here? Do we break out of these shackles and fight these guys? The plan is to follow Dragon Master Jindiao and do as he says! Oh! Po! That is so not the plan.
But why are we leading Jindiao to the Wellspring? Call me crazy, but this seems crazy.
Oh, oh! Oh, oh! My poor boy.
I have to do something.
Yeah.
Once he accesses it, he'll be unstoppable.
I really hope you haven't lost your marbles, Master Po.
But just between us, have you? There's something you don't know.
Back when you guys were in the Spirit Realm getting your chi game on, Bunnidharma felt Jindiao's presence.
So he prepared, by swapping out the Spirit Urn with a phony.
Because that bunny was a shrewd dude.
So, if Jindiao didn't break the real Spirit Urn, where is it? Shh-shh-shh! Great question, Nu Hai.
Pretty radical, is it not? So, when we're at the Wellspring, you guys'll do your form thing, and I'll whip out the urn, and blammo! [GRUNTS.]
[WHISPERING.]
Blammo, that birdbrain will be toast.
[MR.
PING SCREAMING.]
ZHIZHU: Hmm.
[GASPS.]
[MR.
PING EXCLAIMING.]
[GASPS.]
Jindiao has Po and the children.
And they're heading to the Temple of the Four Constellations! Now? But we're not ready.
How much more time do you need? [STUTTERS.]
How long did it take our ancestors to learn? Two, three days? Seven years.
[STUTTERS.]
Seven years? ZHIZHU: But they were very fast learners.
I have been so wrong.
We're not warriors.
We really are just cute, cuddly dumpling eaters.
[CRYING.]
Oh, I can't believe my tiny ears.
You are one of two fathers of the Dragon Master.
Admittedly, the less handsome of the two, but still.
You know as well as I do that I had nothing to do with Po becoming the Dragon Master.
[CRYING.]
Anything he's achieved has been in spite of I can't listen to you anymore.
I'm an old bird whose only weapon is a soup ladle.
I have no fighting skills whatsoever.
But you said yourself, "Just because that's all we know, "doesn't mean that's all we are.
" So, chi or no chi, I know one thing for sure, our son needs help.
And I intend to give it to him.
[MUFFLED.]
You're right.
What? [GRUNTS.]
[SCREAMS.]
I said, "You're right.
" Whether we are ready or not we are still the Panda Guardians.
Sometimes it takes a goose to remind a panda who he is.
You're welcome.
Now let's go to the temple and save our Po.
There's no time to go through the tunnels.
It'll take too long.
Arachnid, spin me the longest and strongest thread you have.
You've got it! I know we barely know each other, but I'm going to need you to hold my legs.
MR.
PING: Oh! [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[SCREAMING.]
[BOTH STRAINING.]
Now, children, be good little pandas, and take your positions on the pedestals before you.
[MR.
PING PANTING.]
A direct line to the temple.
"As the Goose flies.
" I'm impressed.
That took a lot of energy.
I just spun 1,000 meters of web out of my butt spinnerets, and you're tired? Pandas, to the Temple! MEI MEI: Okay, but what do we do when we get there? I have no idea! I'm making this up as we go along.
[WHOOPS.]
[GRUNTING.]
I have waited 1,000 years for this moment.
There is so much I want to say, but I think I'll wait to say it in my dragon voice.
Now, I command you, Constellations, open the Wellspring! Yes.
Yes! LI: There must be a way in.
Po! Are you there? It's your dads! Tell Jindiao to let us in! Cart's here too! I'm sure the world's most evil being will respond to that.
She's right.
I'll handle this.
Jindiao! I insist you open the door this instant! This is one of Po's fathers! Well, I'm guessing it'll take him a minute.
Seems like a large space.
[GASPS.]
[PANDAS GASPING.]
Oh, boy.
Now this feels like something.
Maybe our chi can open the cave.
Why isn't it working? GRANDMA: Beats me.
Maybe we should try the entrance over there.
Oh, Master.
Your godly power is imminent.
It's more breathtaking than I remember.
And now, I shall take what is rightfully mine! [WHITE TIGER GROWLS.]
I don't think so, you dirty bird! [JINDIAO GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTING.]
No! Master Po, the urn.
What urn? There is no urn! Yeah, oh, you're right.
Oh, wait.
[VOCALIZING.]
But I destroyed it! I saw it with my own eyes! [YELLS.]
Ow! Ow! [GASPS.]
Chi block! Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
Oh, my.
Did you see that? Let me try! If I knew being a Guardian was so fun, I'd have remembered it years ago.
[GRUNTING.]
[BOTH SCREAM.]
[GROWLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[PO YELLS.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANING.]
I command you, release me! [BOTH STRAINING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[YELPS.]
This thing's got serious torque.
Jade Tusk? Not now, Huifang.
But I said, not now.
Okay, I guess I'll tell you later about the army of pandas coming in.
What? [GRUNTS.]
[JINDIAO GROANING.]
This is for Bunnidharma.
This is for stealing Master Po's hero chi.
This is for not being very nice.
And this is for me! [SCREAMING.]
I think we did it.
I think he's gone! I can't believe it's over.
Phew! Saving the world sure is exhausting.
I'd fist-pound you right now, if only I could raise my fist.
Ha! We got you, Jindiao! [LAUGHS.]
VOICE IN URN: Who's Jindiao? And where am I? Uh, who's that? [JINDIAO LAUGHING.]
It can't be.
JINDIAO: Did you really think your idiotic little trick would work? I thought it had a pretty good chance.
JINDIAO: You almost caught me off-guard.
Who knew that my repulsive roommate would come in so handy? It was so easy to send that annoying vulture into the urn in my place, freeing my own spirit to return to its rightful and glorious form! [GASPS.]
[JINDIAO LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
Come on, let's get out of here! I can't move, Master Po! Don't let your fear stop you.
It's not my fear! I can't move! Me neither! Master Po! Help [WHIMPERING.]
[GASPS.]
[JINDIAO LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
The Panda Guardians are here! You're too late! [LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]

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