Lab Rats (2012) s02e11 Episode Script

Hole in One

1 Hey, guys, check this out.
I picked this up at auction today, and it only cost me a million dollars.
For a sheet? I guess I'd better start saving up if I'm gonna be a ghost for Halloween.
It's a painting, Adam, by a very famous artist named Von schtopp.
Hm.
I wish I would have been there to "Von schtopp" you from buying it.
What is it? It's abstract art, Adam.
It's whatever you think it is.
I think it's a crying woman.
I think it's a storm at sea.
I think someone just blew a million bucks.
( Musical ringtone plays ) That's me.
Davenport industries.
Hello? Uh-huh.
Oh, boy.
All right.
Looks like I've got to put out a fire at work.
What happened? Betty from accounting got her head caught In the positron collider again.
Ohh! That's gonna be messy.
Can you guys put that in the art vault for me? Wait, you have an art vault? When are you guys gonna learn? I have a everything.
( Chuckles ) But whatever you do, do not touch the davenportraits.
What's a davenportrait? Am I screaming out loud or just inside my head? I'm just gonna say it: Davenport is one weird dude.
Ah.
Voila.
The Von schto Ew, gross, gross, gross! Turn around! Ah-choo! Whoa.
Adam, what did you do? Oh, I think that sneeze accidentally triggered my heat vision! Big "d" is going to freak out! Let's not panic.
This hole is barely noticeable.
Ah-choo! That, however, is incredibly noticeable! Adam, if you're going to destroy paintings, do it to those! The world's first bionic super-humans.
They're stronger than us, faster, smarter.
The next generation of the human race is Living in my basement? lab rats lab rats Lab rats lab rats Lab rats Adam, I cannot believe you just destroyed Mr.
Davenport's million-dollar painting! Mr.
Davenport's gonna kill us when he sees what happened.
Okay, well, maybe he won't notice if we fill the room with things that look much more hideous.
More hideous? Have you seen the daven Lisa? ( Ding ) Hey.
Big "d.
" What are you doing back? Uh, I forgot something.
I forgot that I left my million-dollar painting in the hands of the four most destructive teenagers in the world! Please tell me it's okay.
It's fine.
Looks great.
It's fine.
Great.
Hey, wait.
Hey.
We've already seen this one, and it's boring.
I would like to know more about this beautiful What are we looking at? Yeah, I remember posing for that one.
You know it took us hours to get the fruit positioned just right? Well, you've just killed apples for me.
I was gonna be the big banana, but I thought that'd be a little too much.
( Nonsensical sound ) Don't do that! Why not? Because.
B-because I Have an idea.
You should pose for a daven-sculpture.
Daven-sculpture! Yes! Chase, your brilliance is only matched by your good taste.
I'm gonna get to work on that right away.
Oh! Get ready, guys, for six feet of stone-cold me! Six feet? There's a pedestal! Okay, Mr.
Davenport's gonna be at the sculptor's studio for a few more hours.
They're only up to his knees.
How do you know that? Because he's giving me a photo play-by-play.
( All reacting ) Okay, there's got to be some way to fix this painting.
I know.
We can make a replica.
I can pull an image of the painting from my internal hard drive and project it onto a blank canvas.
Then we can trace it and paint over it.
That'll never work.
We can't paint that fast.
( Clears throat loudly ) Hey, do you mind? We're trying to think over here.
I can paint that fast.
Good for you.
Quit bragging and help us come up with the solution.
All right, here we go.
All right, Bree, do your thing.
Done and done.
What do you think? It's perfect.
Can't tell the difference.
Still ugly.
All right, well, we don't have much time.
We'll go hang the replica.
Adam, you take care of the original.
What? What am I supposed to do with it? Hide it someplace that Mr.
Davenport will never find it.
Make it disappear! Okay, but I'm gonna need a magic wand and a volunteer from the audience.
How 'bout you, young lady? Just go.
Ah.
There.
Mr.
Davenport will never know the difference.
Okay, let's be honest if it's not a mirror or his bank account, he's not really paying attention.
Hey! What are you doing down here? What are we doing down here? Well ( Chuckling ) We're down here 'cause your painting really spoke to us.
That's right.
And It said Uh, "I'm lonely.
Come hang out with me.
" It's a lot like you that way.
Hmm.
Did you guys really think I wouldn't notice? What do you mean? ( Scoffs ) You are looking at it upside down! Ah.
( Enthused reactions ) There you are.
It was him! It was him! It was him! Just take the hit.
We all know you're his favorite.
Good news I sold the painting.
What? Why? Some wall street guy e-mailed me and said he'd buy it for a million more than I paid for it.
Guy came by, looked it over, and he went straight to the bank.
( Doorbell rings ) Hear that? That, my friends, is a seven-figure ding dong.
Money's comin' money's comin' money! Money, money, money! Donald Davenport? Uh-huh.
I'm special agent Ryker.
We got a call from a prospective buyer that you were attempting to sell forged art.
Forged art? What are you talking about? I'm talking about this.
The buyer reported that this canvas still had the price tag attached, that it was purchased at the art depot On sale.
I-I don't understand.
It's when a store offers a product at a discount.
Mr.
Davenport, selling fake art is a felony.
You could be facing 20 years in prison.
Twenty years?! Well, at least you'll be out in time for Adam's graduation.
Guess I'd better start studying.
I don't understand how this could have happened.
That painting is an original.
It's got an I.
D.
Chip imbedded in the canvas.
Scan it.
( Buzzing sound ) That, sir, is the bad buzz, which means no chip.
But there is a chip in prison, and he is mean.
Wait.
He is telling the truth.
We painted the fake.
You what?! We accidentally ruined the real painting, so we forged a copy so you wouldn't find out.
You what?! Okay, we're gonna have to act it out for him.
Chase, you be the painting, I'll sneeze a hole in you.
Look, I'm sure this is all a big misunderstanding.
Chase, go get the original and show it to the nice man with the big badge and the tiny little scanner.
Sure.
Wait.
Adam, where is it? Oh, I threw it in the dumpster at school.
What?! You told me to put it where he wouldn't look.
Did he look there? No.
You're welcome! Okay, maybe it's still there.
If we get it back, will you let him go? I suppose.
If you produce the original, then his story checks out, but until then, I've got a warrant to search the place.
For what? Any forged art.
We'll have to check every room in the house.
Don't worry, we'll be careful.
( Objects crashing ) Relax, big "d.
" You didn't really break any laws That they know of.
Look, have you thought about what happens when they find the lab and how to explain it? That would be bad! Hey, don't worry about this.
I got it.
Hey! Mr.
Agent.
We've got nothing to hide.
But say we did how would we go about doing that? Look, the three of you go find that painting.
Leo, you stay here with me and help me distract these agents.
So You're an art cop.
Hope you don't plan on "framing" us.
I'm sorry.
This is my first "brush" with the law.
Leo, stop it.
Let these men do their jobs and "canvas" the area.
Please don't make me get the German Shepherd.
Ugh! Sticky! Ugh! Squishy! Aah! It's moving! Adam, where is the painting? I don't know.
It should be in here.
I just threw it out this morning.
Okay, this is disgusting.
Can't Davenport just go off to jail for a little while? Hey! School's over.
Go home and make your parents miserable! Principal Perry, what are you doing here? Getting rid of expired cafeteria meat.
If you ask me, it's still good.
Meat's always expired It's dead! ( Disgusted gasps ) I can't be here.
I don't wanna be here.
Get me out! Oh, man up, Mary.
The maggots don't set in until the noon sun hits.
( Insect buzzes ) So ( Chuckles ) You guys are dumpster divers like me, huh? Nope, but thanks for that little glimpse into your life.
You twerps are gonna have to dive elsewhere.
I've already hauled off all the good stuff.
Found the perfect painting to use as the last obstacle on my golf course! Painting? Painting? Golf course? So, this is why you pick through the trash? I know this may come as a shock, but being a principal isn't as glamorous as I make it look.
So I've created for myself ( Scottish accent ) A fancy little country club! With trash.
That is glamorous.
You just lost yourself a caddy job, tiny woods.
So, the tee is right there.
I shoot through the life saver, over to the speakers, off the bongos, then the tennis racket, over to the vacuum, up to the fan, over to the umbrella, into the rain gutter, up the treadmill, through the hole in the painting, into the helmet.
Back in my glory days, I was on the pro circuit.
Gotta keep my skills sharp.
Ohh! Ohh! Guys, getting this painting back is gonna be a lot more difficult than I thought.
Why don't we just grab it and run? The woman is holding a metal club, and I don't think she's afraid to use it.
( Clears throat ) Heads up.
I'm more power than accuracy, so cover anything you don't want a golf ball to smash.
Principal Perry: Whoo! Aahh! Ugh! Chimp pickles! Um, you know what would make this course a lot easier? Removing this painting.
Get your hands off my junk! I waded through biohazard waste to get to that.
Look, principal Perry, this painting is our dad's, and Adam accidentally threw it away, but it's really important that we get it back.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I can't give it back.
It has sentimental value.
But you just found it.
Not to me.
To you! ( Laughing ) Playing through! Well, last room in the house and no forged art, so as soon as those kids get back with that original painting, I am scot-free.
You know, interestingly enough, I went to high school with a guy named Scott free, and ironically, he went to jail.
You talk a lot.
You know who else talks a lot? People with something to hide.
Well, then you should probably go find some of those.
This has been nice.
What's that? That? That That is a That's a That's a doorbell.
A doorbell? Yeah.
Inside the house? Mm-hmm, sure.
Well, I mean I have the one that rings inside the house.
This one rings outside so I can mess with the pizza guy when he comes.
You know Bing-bong, bing-bong.
I hate pizza.
( Chuckles ) ( Mouths silently ) ( Mouths silently ) You have a secret elevator? 'Course I have a secret elevator.
Who doesn't have a secret elevator, right, Leo? Right! We're We're rich.
We need to blow our money on something! What are you hiding, Davenport? Nothing! Nothing! We're not hiding anything, right, Leo? Right! Well, then, I guess you wouldn't mind if we take a look.
No, we don't mind at all, right, Leo? Will you stop saying that! Agent Ryker: Let's go.
Guys, we have to get that painting back from Perry.
Look, I have an idea.
Just follow my lead.
Principal Perry! Ugh! What do you want? Look, how 'bout if we make this shot, you give us the painting? Done.
But if you miss the shot, then you three have to cut all the grass in the football field for the rest of the year Deal.
With these mustache scissors.
Why do you have mustache scissors? Why do you ask so many questions? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I don't play coed.
I'm not a savage.
This course is ladies only.
Which means She has to take the putt.
Good luck, skirt.
I-I've never played golf before in my life.
Don't worry.
I'll use my molecular-kinesis to guide the ball.
Quit your mutter and grab your putter! Let's do this! ( Blows trumpet ) Wow! She p ut a crazy spin on that one, huh? ( Laughs ) Chase, where's the ball? It must have got stuck in the pipe! I win, I win, I win! ( Ball rolling ) Huh? Oh.
Uh-oh.
Yes! ( Comical shrieks ) Get the painting! Twinkle, twinkle little star how I wonder what you are Is that you singing? Yeah.
( Chuckles ) It's new.
Thought I'd spice things up a little bit.
If you want a copy, I still have 3,000 cds left.
I think I can speak for everyone when I say, "we're good.
" And this is my art vault.
So you're not a forger, but you have a secret room full of copied paintings.
These are originals.
That I believe.
If you ask me, these paintings should hang themselves.
When are they gonna get here with that painting? I've been texting them.
Adam says they're playing putt-putt with Perry.
What does that mean? I don't want to know.
We have to distract these agents before they find the lab.
On it.
Hey, wanna hear a joke? No.
Twenty questions? No.
A poem it is.
When the night turns into dawn, lights, shadows, a new day has begun.
Hey, I've got one for you.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, stop talking.
" Okay, looks like this room's clear.
Since that's the last room in the house, I guess that means You've got another floor.
N-no I don't.
Then what was that unlabeled button on the elevator's control panel? That would be a question for the elevator operator, and he is not here today, right, Leo? I am not going to jail with you.
You either take us there, or I'll make you take us there.
We have the painting! Ha! They have the painting! I'm free! I'm free! I mean, thank you for coming, officer.
This proves Mr.
Davenport is innocent.
Proves.
Well, I'll be the judge of that, miss.
( Beeping sound ) Kid's right.
It checks out.
Sorry about the inconvenience, Mr.
Davenport.
Good luck with the singing career.
You've, um Really got something.
My album's available online, so What's an album? That was close.
Too close.
The feds were just about to discover the lab.
We didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Things just got out of hand.
We're really sorry, Mr.
Davenport.
Yeah.
We promise we'll always tell you the truth.
Yeah.
( Sighs ) You're selfish, you're bossy, and I wish I didn't, but I love your voice.
Man, I'm so happy I got that off my chest.
Give me that.
It's destroyed.
Why are you putting it up? So that every time you look at it, you'll remember that you owe me a million dollars.
Ah.
Okay.
Here's the shot Off the rail, hit the rock, off that thing, off the post, off the guitar, off the front door, and into the umbrella stand.
No way.
Never.
I need a sister.
Fore! Good news! I got a new Von schtopp! ( Comical shriek ) Whoa ho! Hole in one! Ohh! Aaahhh! Aaahhh! Lab rats lab rats Lab rats lab rats