Las Vegas s01e09 Episode Script
Year of the Tiger
[Energetic instrumental music.]
MIKE: It took me a while to find the wheels you wanted but I think you'll be happy.
You are the man, Mike.
Gotta tell you, good idea bringing it around back - because if our fiancees saw it - Yeah, I understand.
[Car horn honking.]
[Men cheering and hooting.]
You ready, boys? ALL: [Cheering.]
Yeah! [Whooping.]
I could die happy right now.
[All cheering and shouting.]
WOMAN: You think you're all that.
Don't get uppity with me.
You're nothing but a bunch of hos.
Hey, is there a problem? Just a showgirl, daddy-o trying to pass on my resume to a couple of no good biatches! - Hey, why don't we - I am a hell of a dancer.
Check this out.
There you go.
That's Whoa! WOMAN: Get off me! MIKE: I was WOMAN: I don't need your help.
[Bus horn honking.]
[All hooting and cheering.]
MIKE: Hey! Hey, drunk lady! [Bus horn honking continuously.]
[Woman exclaiming.]
You okay? [Snoring.]
[Theme music.]
[Chinese drums beating.]
Hey! You're 10 minutes late.
Get into the bar now.
Go.
You too, buddy.
Go on.
MARY: Now, page housekeeping.
If the welcome baskets aren't ready now, they are in for a world of pain.
[Chinese drums continue beating.]
SAM: How's it going for you today? Aside from the fact that I have two dozen brides demanding that I make Sunday the happiest day of their lives, great.
That's my high roller from Taiwan.
He wants me to spoon-feed him caviar.
- That's not so bad.
- From my navel.
Yes, caviar.
Yes.
[Sam exclaiming.]
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
- Since when do you speak Chinese? - Mandarin.
SAM: Since I learned 80% of high rollers were Chinese.
How did you land Zhao? I thought he only played in Monte Carlo.
SAM: Found out his daughters go to school in New York.
He doesn't get to see them very often, so I organised So you organised a little reunion.
Very nice.
[Speaks in Mandarin.]
[Men hooting.]
[Cameras clicking.]
DANNY: Who are they? They would be Mr.
Zhao's daughters, the new "it" girls.
SAM: [Sighing.]
To be rich and beautiful and know it.
Magazines can't get enough of them.
WOMAN 1: That's it.
Perfect.
[Peppy instrumental music.]
MAN 1: Here we go! ED: Sir? ZHAO: A word, please? ED: Sure.
This way.
WOMAN 2: Quin? Lee? MAN 2: Beautiful.
ED: Mr.
Zhao, what can I do for you? I would like your security team to keep an eye on my daughters.
ED: If it's their safety you're concerned with I can assure you that Las Vegas is a very safe town and the surveillance on The Strip alone Actually, I would prefer them not leave the hotel.
With all due respect, you'll have to give me a little more information.
I have not seen my two girls in many years.
This recent obsession your press has with them is not something I'm pleased with.
Well, you know, we do have celebrities flying in and out of Vegas every day.
And there's paparazzi in every single hotel up and down The Strip.
But what is it you suggest that I do? I'm a simple man, Mr.
Deline.
I don't need a lion dance, or someone to Feng Shui my swimming pool.
All I want is peace of mind that I don't see my daughters on your cheap American magazines.
ZHAO: Please, keep them out of trouble.
If you can't do that, I will find a casino that can.
- I'll put my best man on it.
- Thank you.
[Speaks in Mandarin.]
Very good.
[Peppy instrumental music.]
[Giggling.]
[People chattering.]
WOMAN 1: Good job last night, Mike.
WOMAN 2: Hey, you can save me anytime.
MAN: Hey, good going, Mike.
Let me guess.
You two are here for the Weekend of Weddings.
Special events check-in is right over there.
Thanks.
I'm Karen, and this is my fiance, Bill.
BILL: How are you? MIKE: Hey.
This is our first time in Vegas.
Never would have guessed it.
Where you folks from? Windom, Minnesota.
Our whole town's about as big as that pyramid we saw on our way in.
I cannot believe we're getting hitched in Vegas.
- Like Elvis.
- And Priscilla.
I just hope we'll be as happy as they were.
Mary? We got another pair of lovebirds here for your wedding.
- Mary Connell.
- Hi.
Thank you so much for getting us in at the last minute.
Yeah, we weren't really sure if we could afford it.
But when we heard about the limos and then the Elvis impersonators - and the prime rib and the lobster banquet - We just had to be here.
We're very happy you're here.
Let's check you in.
KAREN: Great.
Thank you.
MARY: Sure.
MIKE: See you later.
BILL: See you later.
- Vegas virgins? - Yeah, and they got the fever bad.
You're him, aren't you? Could you sign this? Yes.
MIKE: Here you go.
My pleasure.
Hey, what are you doing here? Yeah, don't you have more hero stuff to do? Don't you have two little girls you're supposed to be babysitting? They're getting massages.
And have you seen these two? It's not babysitting, bro.
Two words: Ed's watching.
[Chuckling.]
That's funny.
DANNY: Not as funny as a local strip joint naming a cocktail after you.
- The Cannon Blast.
- The Cannon Blast.
Right.
If you two are finished cracking yourselves up I have work to do.
Thank you very much.
- Mike Cannon? - Yes, how can I help you, sir? - I guess he didn't want an autograph.
- Guess not.
[Cell phone ringing.]
- I'm being sued.
- What? That lady I saved is suing me.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Yeah? They're where? MAN: Girls, right over here.
MAN: Good.
DELINDA: Aren't you supposed to be babysitting these two? MARY: I got the press here to cover the Weekend of Weddings brunch but all they've done is take snapshots of those two.
MARY: They've hijacked my photographers, Danny.
Danny.
[Cameras clicking.]
Stop harassing my fiance.
Why? We think he likes it.
Maybe if you harassed him right, we wouldn't have to.
Aren't you supposed to be getting massages? BOTH: We got bored.
Now, if you had massaged us like we asked we wouldn't have to come in here looking for fun.
We need constant supervision.
I'll be more than happy to give you guys my undivided attention.
Can we just talk about this outside? [Sighs.]
MAN: Girls? Couple more, please? Tramps.
[Exclaims.]
That worked out well.
MAN 1: Hold up! MAN 2: Right there, girls.
DANNY: Back off! Enough.
Get.
Enough.
If you two weren't so damn cute, you'd be in a four-by-six holding cell right now.
LEE: We don't want special treatment.
Treat us like any other troublemakers.
QUIN: What do you want to do, frisk us? Handcuff us? QUIN: Maybe spank us? LEE: Teach us a lesson.
Look [Cell phone ringing.]
Hold on here for just a minute.
Keep an eye on these two, would you? And only an eye.
Yeah? ED: How's it going down there? Great! We got three bachelor parties tonight.
Think you can handle it? I'm a little tied up with the Zhao sisters right now, Ed.
You're a marine with guerrilla training.
You think you can handle two coeds? Yeah, well, guerrillas don't wear six-inch heels.
ED: What? DANNY: Nothing.
I gotta go.
DANNY: Where are they? MAN: [Stuttering.]
They Mary, have you seen the Zhao sisters? - No.
- Are you sure? They're a little hard to miss, don't you think, Danny? This is so much better than getting hitched at our church.
KAREN: They have potlucks all the time, and the place reeks of beef.
I am happy to say our wedding hall smells nothing of beef.
MARY: You can check it out for yourself at the rehearsal.
I'll walk you there.
KAREN: Let me grab Bill.
MARY: Sure.
- Sweetie.
We gotta go to the rehearsal.
- In a minute.
MAN: Winner! Pay the line.
- I'll meet you guys there.
- No.
We're coming with you.
Right, Bill? We need to go.
It's a rehearsal, baby, okay? We can be a little late.
Honey, this is important to me.
Well, winning the house money is important to me.
BILL: Yeah! MAN: Eleven! Winner! You said you didn't even gamble.
You said you were a natural blonde.
You don't see me complaining.
[All laughing.]
Bill, let's go.
[Crowd chanting.]
Bill! Bill! MAN: Eleven again! Winner! Slap my ass and call me Sally! MARY: All right.
Hey, you know what? Let me see your wedding dress.
I'm sure it's beautiful.
BILL: Oh, yeah! Mr.
Cannon, your reckless actions caused my client to sustain a severe sprain in her right trapeze muscle.
She would have been run over by a bus.
That's your opinion.
My client thinks otherwise.
Since she's an entertainer at a gentlemen's club She's a stripper.
this avoidable injury will result in a considerable loss of income not to mention pain and suffering and loss of consortium.
- Loss of what? - That means that I can't have sex.
I thought you were a stripper, not a hooker.
Mr.
Cannon, we can easily add slander to the suit.
I saved your life.
Why are you doing this to me? Honey, I got nothing against you.
LAWYER: Technically, we are suing the Montecito.
They're liable since you were acting as their employee.
And because you know a payday when you see one.
Mr.
Cannon, please.
I'll handle this.
[Racy instrumental music.]
GROOVY: Yeah, I got Motown in my blood.
WOMAN: Are you from Detroit? GROOVY: I'm from Pakistan.
GROOVY: But Detroit's like my spiritual home.
Anyway, like I was saying I got an eye for talent, and, baby, you've got it.
GROOVY: Here's my card.
WOMAN: You think? GROOVY: Bring that with the demo.
I'll see what I can work out.
Yo, I told you, homey.
It's Groovy.
I got it.
Listen, you said the Zhao sisters were in here? Them mummies is fine.
I seen them in magazines and whatnots, but they got some nice ta-tas.
Where are they? On the real, dog, how about some quid pro quo? You could hook me up with Delinda.
GROOVY: She look like a lady trying to get a freak on! DANNY: Why don't you zip it up before I tell these women you're not actually a producer? - Man, why you gonna say something - Where are they? [Racy instrumental music.]
LEE: Danny! LEE: Danny, dance with me.
QUIN: What are you doing? We were supposed to be in M.
C.
Lockjaw's music video.
Not on my watch.
Daddy's not gonna like you pushing us around like this.
Actually, your father told me I could use anything short of a stun gun DANNY: To keep you here.
QUIN: I like it when you talk dirty.
QUIN: You can let us go.
We'll make it worth your while.
[Shouting in Mandarin.]
Thank you for alerting me.
Why don't I escort you back up to the penthouse, sir? Sure.
[People cheering.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Seductive instrumental music.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
[Girls screaming.]
[Sword whooshing.]
[Assassin grunting.]
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues.]
[Girls scream.]
[Grunting.]
[Assassin groaning.]
Go, go, go! Lock down penthouse, now! ED: That elevator only goes up to Zhao's penthouse.
No surveillance cameras in the penthouse? It's illegal.
What's with the red box? DANNY: Video IQ recognises specific human characteristics including gait so we can ID the guy based on that.
And the only way out of the building is through the casino.
LUIS: He looks lost.
ED: He stopped to ask this guy directions.
He's one of our guests.
I spoke to him through an interpreter.
- He only speaks Mandarin.
- So our guy's definitely Chinese.
And I'm betting that he ain't been in this country too long.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Yeah? I'll be right up.
My people have finished questioning the Zhaos.
I'm gonna wrap things up in the penthouse.
Luis, the last time I saw a blade like this I was working the Chinese border.
- You worked the Chinese border? - No, I never worked the Chinese border.
DANNY: You just said ED: But the point is that they would never use something like this for a robbery.
Never.
- You think it was a hit? - It wouldn't surprise me, yeah.
All right.
[Ed exhales loudly.]
Danny, listen if this was a hit, so for his sake and our protection in the nicest way, you gotta get him out of here.
All right.
I am not going anywhere.
Mr.
Zhao, you need to start thinking about your safety.
I'm sorry, but the No, look.
I appreciate all you've done for us but I lost $2 million here and I intend to win it back.
And I'm not gonna be scared off by some criminal.
DANNY: I understand ZHAO: Excuse me.
Danny.
The Zhaos didn't give us much.
Did you ask about the Chinese foreigner? DANNY: Ed heard some stuff about his business dealings.
LUIS: I know this isn't the best thing for the hotel but I work for the city, not the Montecito.
Now, I'm trying Just baby-sit the girls.
Let me deal with the police business.
Look, I'm just One more, please.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Streak ended? Boy, you should be happy.
The casino made five big ones off me.
I'm not here as a hotel employee, Bill.
Now, excuse my frankness but what you did to Karen was pretty crappy.
I know.
I should have gone to the rehearsal, but I just I couldn't stop, you know? It's like Vegas made me do it.
- We call it the fever.
- I wanted to apologise.
But by the time I got back, she'd moved to another room She was very upset.
You should make it up to her.
Soon.
- Any suggestions? - Jewellery.
WOMAN: I can't believe we'll be getting married on Sunday.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay? How'd the deposition go? - Know in a minute.
MARY: Good luck.
MIKE: Thanks.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So? We're gonna settle.
But I didn't do anything wrong.
BERESH: You're taking this personally, Mike.
Look at it from a cost-benefit perspective.
BERESH: For $100,000, we can make this case go away.
If we push forward, we could lose millions.
Can't we investigate or something? For all we know, there's nothing wrong with her.
Trapeze muscle? A full investigation could take months.
The costs If we settle, people are gonna think I messed up.
And what happens the next time there's an accident? Are you telling me I can't help a lady that's about to be run over by a bus? [Muffled.]
Actually, yes.
I can't help people? Unfortunately, we live in a very litigious society.
I'm sure as hell not gonna work for a company that says I can't help people.
I quit.
[Soft rock instrumental music.]
Beresh told me I'm supposed to stand by and watch if someone's about to be killed.
Mike, it's not personal.
It's just in the best interests of the Montecito.
- I didn't do anything wrong, Ed.
- I know that, Mikey.
I know it.
But if you quit now, you're gonna look guilty.
You cannot quit.
Take the weekend.
Just take the weekend and think about it, okay? Just as a favour to me.
And if you still wanna quit I won't stand in your way, maybe.
[Mike exhales loudly.]
[Cell phone ringing.]
- All right, Ed.
- Thanks, Mike.
ED: Yeah.
ED: The sisters are at the bachelorette party? ED: You make sure Danny knows.
[Rock instrumental music playing loudly.]
[Girls cheering.]
[Hooting.]
- Women are pigs.
- You have no idea.
Wait till you see this.
[Fire alarm ringing.]
- You set off the fire alarm? - Attention, everyone! We need you all to evacuate the building unless you think you can take the heat.
[Women cheering.]
[Racy rock music playing loudly.]
Was that your idea? - Mary's.
- I've always loved a man in uniform.
Wait, excuse me.
DANNY: Whoa.
If I didn't know better, I think you two were trying to sneak off.
There are assassins in the hotel.
Or haven't you heard? Yeah.
Your father was almost killed yesterday.
You'd think you could stay out of the clubs at least one night.
You think this is the first time this has happened? You're so naive.
How about this? How about I turn a blind eye this once and then you give me an idea what your father's into.
Our father, like any good Beijing businessman has a lot of enemies, some more dangerous than others.
Dangerous how? LEE: One guy, we think he's with a triad called Sun Fah.
He's been after our father for a long time.
Daddy won't go to the police, 'cause he can't be associated with gangs.
QUIN: It's very stressful.
Quin and I deal with it by going clubbing.
I'll bet you do.
And our father gambles the family fortune away.
It's a Zhao family tradition.
Can we go now? Yeah.
But be careful, please.
DELINDA: Sure.
I'll try on your hard hat.
And anything else you want to put on me.
- Hey.
- It's over.
- Excuse me? - The wedding.
It's gone, kaput, down the toilet.
[Karen slurping.]
Five years I was with him, and I thought I knew all of his faults.
The pro wrestling, the snoring, the third nipple.
KAREN: I could live with all that.
But ever since we got here, it's like I don't even know him.
It's time to move on.
Listen, in Vegas, people do things that they would normally never dream of.
It doesn't mean that Bill doesn't love you, Karen.
Karen? - Do you hear that? - What? That's the sound of a fire engine.
And it goes, "Woo.
" [Racy rock music continues.]
[Man speaking in Mandarin.]
Danny McCoy.
Charlie.
Hey.
How are you, man? Good.
What brings you here? I need a little information from you.
I was wondering if you'd ever heard of a triad called Sun Fah.
The reason I ask is because we had a hit taken out on one of our guests and his daughters think it might be this triad that he did business with.
- Yeah, I know them.
- Yeah? They're brutal sons of bitches.
I hear they run with the Moo Shu Boys.
[Charlie laughing.]
CHARLIE: Just because I live in Chinatown you think I got the 411 on every underworld triad? Now I remember why I beat the crap out of you in grade school.
You were just jealous 'cause I was the one scoring with the honeys.
Thanks for the information.
[Oriental instrumental music.]
[Danny exclaims.]
[Danny grunts.]
[Tense instrumental music.]
MAN: Okay.
Why you asking questions about triad? You a cop? THUG 1: Not a cop.
THUG 2: Not a cop.
So who are you? Busybody? DANNY: Go to hell.
You better close your eyes.
This is really gonna hurt.
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
[Tense instrumental music intensifies.]
You know Ed Deline? [Energetic instrumental music.]
BILL: What was l KAREN: Oh, yeah, you were the biggest mistake of my life! Five long years I wasted with you! You're just a pig! BILL: Oh, my God! What did you BILL: You're a KAREN: A what? BILL: You're a slut! KAREN: Nothing happened! Right! What is this? What the hell is this, huh? ED: Whoa.
Excuse me.
KAREN: Fireman's hat.
Hey, you put some clothes on.
You know this guy? We had coffee! That is it! - Oh, God! - Geez! You know, my mother was right.
You know, you are a skank! Your mother is a bitch! I wish she would just get back on her broomstick and fly Well, at least she's not a hussy! - A hussy? - Yeah, a hussy! Calm down! BILL: God, please! KAREN: I'm gonna kill you! Get her out of here.
- I heard there was a problem.
- No, we had one.
- They're checking out.
- Ed, they're here for the wedding.
They're supposed to get married on Sunday.
Am I supposed to ignore the disturbance or the destruction of property? Am I? No, but I've been hyping this event for months, and if the reporters find out that we threw out one of the couples, it'll be a PR nightmare.
Yeah? What? Okay, I'll be right there.
Okay.
But if they so much as crash a buffet line You hear me? - Yes.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
Come on.
Thank you.
ED: And put something on that guy.
MARY: Yes, sir.
MARY: What happened? You told me that I should go make up with Karen.
Yeah, I said buy her jewellery, not break into her room nude.
I thought it would be romantic.
You know, I'd wait for her in bed, nude, maybe with a rose in my mouth.
BILL: Then I see a fireman coming out of her bedroom - and there ain't no freaking fire.
- I told you.
We just talked.
He had a lot of positive qualities.
Oh, yeah, like what? The hose? I'll show you a hose! Okay.
You know what? That's enough of that.
Maybe you two should just take a little break from each other.
All right? Just for a while.
BOTH: Fine! [Tense instrumental music.]
[Tense instrumental music heightens.]
[Both grunting.]
Hey, Chuan.
How you been? You haven't slowed down much.
You're looking good, man.
- Not thin like back in Guangdong.
- How's business? We're the biggest distributor for imitation handbags in Southwest.
ED: Get out of here.
CHUAN: Yeah.
ED: Really? No.
CHUAN: Take.
It's for Jillian and Delinda.
ED: Thank you.
Business is very good, but going legit, not easy.
Especially when people go around asking question about triad.
What the hell is this? See, young people, they act without thinking.
He won't be a problem to you again.
You have my word.
CHUAN: Before, we deal with Red Guard.
Now with your young friend.
Times change, huh? I mean, like Vegas.
Used to be Mafia and Rat Pack.
Now it's the Fortune Fiver and Celine Dion.
CHUAN: Maybe I used to be triad.
Now I sell knockoff handbags.
You have to change to survive, huh? - It's true.
- Well, if there's no triad what the hell was up with the knife down my pants? BOTH: Old habits.
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
[Tense instrumental music resumes.]
ED: Come on, kid.
Keep walking.
Now, if you're in over your head, let me know.
I'm not.
Keep your head down, all right? Here.
I mean, if you are, I can always get someone else.
I'm not.
I'll take care of it.
Keep your head down.
You're gonna scare the guests.
DANNY: Hey, Luis.
ED: Wait.
Why don't you two talk over here behind the tree? Keep your head down.
- Who worked you over? - Couple of guys who sell handbags.
We pulled the list of male visitors travelling alone from China in the last week.
It's pretty extensive.
I was hoping you could run it through the Montecito computer.
I'll call you if I get any hits.
Thanks.
[Keyboard keys clicking.]
[Lightly suspenseful instrumental music.]
[Computer beeps.]
[Lightly suspenseful instrumental music intensifies.]
[Traditional wedding instrumental music.]
[Both laughing.]
Do you mind? I'm trying to have a private girlie moment here.
Ouch.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I thought you wanted to get married in leather pants and ride off on Prince's motorcycle.
I was 10 when I said that.
You wanted to marry Daisy Duke.
Daisy Duke was hot, wasn't she? Well.
Yeah, that was forever ago.
I'm beginning to think I'm just not the marrying kind.
Long as I can remember, you wanted to have, what, five kids, ten dogs? Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
DANNY: Yeah.
MAN: Hey, Danny.
You said to call when the computer finished processing your list.
You have the names? MAN: I'm printing them now.
DANNY: I'll be right there.
MAN: Okay.
They'll be ready when you get here.
[Arguing loudly in Mandarin.]
- What's that all about? - It's been the same fight since day one.
He wants them to stop showing up in People Magazine and they want him to quit betting $10,000 a hand.
You know, family stuff.
This ought to distract them.
Mr.
Zhao? Det.
Perez wants to see you down at the station.
- I can give you a ride.
- What's going on? The police had a list of possible suspects, which our hotel intelligence narrowed down to a couple of names.
Shall we? Thank you so much for everything.
Quin and I will never forget you.
You're welcome.
ED: Thanks for waiting.
BERESH: Oh, no problem.
BERESH: What can I do for you? I heard we were settling the Mike Cannon case.
Yeah.
Cost considerations.
- Why aren't we investigating? - Cost considerations.
- I'll pay for it.
- That's very admirable, Ed.
These employees, they're like your soldiers.
Well, nothing like my soldiers.
They are my family, my friends.
Bottom line, Ed, we can't risk it.
[People hooting and cheering.]
ED: Hey, Rulan.
RULAN: Hey, Mr.
Deline.
ED: How you doing? RULAN: Good.
Listen, how'd you like to make a couple hundred bucks? Is that a trick question? Listen, you know how to operate a video camera, right? - Yeah.
- Good.
ZHAO: I want to thank you for your help with my daughters.
They weren't a problem.
Don't lie.
They are life-sucking she-devils.
Have been since they were born.
What did I expect? They were born year of the tiger, you know, like their mother.
That list of names, you may as well use as toilet paper.
You don't know these people.
They're invisible, like ghosts.
Well, we have our ways.
Like in your town, if you need to find someone you've got a go-to guy, right? Well, in Vegas, I'm that guy.
ZHAO: You talk big, but you'll never find them.
[Tense instrumental music.]
DANNY: All right, he's right behind us.
Move in.
LUIS: Move and you're dead.
DANNY: So where is this guy now? LUIS: We're questioning him at the precinct, but there's something I wanna tell you.
Hey, boys.
You okay? - Yeah.
- That hurt? Hey, easy.
Han says he was hired to kill Zhao and Danny.
He says he doesn't know his employer.
He was contacted by phone by a Chinese-speaking female.
Calls came from a pay phone, so we ran these traffic surveillance tapes.
DANNY: That's one of his daughters.
[Mysterious instrumental music.]
How about both of them? [Soft rock music playing.]
Hey.
All right, look.
Bad news.
I can't get you a refund on the wedding.
So if you want to break up, it's gonna cost you.
Might wanna talk it over for half an hour.
- Won't change my mind.
- Firehouse skank.
Look, I did you both a huge favour by bailing you out with Ed.
All right, just do this for me.
- Twenty minutes? - Come on.
Tick, tock.
Whatever.
Great.
You can talk about it in here.
Follow me.
Enjoy.
DANNY: Okay, we got a live feed of Han at the precinct.
Compare that with the footage of the intruder.
Tape of the girls, it's purely circumstantial.
We're gonna need more than that.
It's not gonna be easy.
These girls are smarter than they look.
Why would they want their own father dead? He's dropping millions at casinos all around the world.
He loses his money, they lose their inheritance.
[Computer beeping.]
DANNY: It's a match.
He's our guy.
Think it's time I had a word with the daughters.
[Knocking on door.]
Hey, show Luis to the girls, will you? I got to take care of something.
BERESH: This gonna take long? The plaintiff and her lawyer are waiting.
Why don't you let them wait? Have a seat.
All right.
Here, there's something I want you to see.
Here we go.
ED: This is a tape made last night.
ED: That is Miss Leboeuf at a tailgate party.
Now, I'm not a doctor but seems to me like her back has miraculously been healed.
ED: And here she is at work.
ED: Sure doesn't look like there's any loss of future income there.
Doesn't seem to be a whole lot of suffering and pain going on, either.
And if you watch a little while longer you'll see she's still able to have some sex, too.
ED: After they drop the case against Mike I want you to notify the DA so he can charge Miss Leboeuf with fraud.
I'm on it.
And exactly why weren't you on it before? - Ed, look - See, all it took was a kid from housekeeping, a video camera, and $200.
Now, what the hell do we pay you? You owe me $200.
ED: Attaboy.
[Upbeat rock instrumental music.]
I don't know why there's this obsession with us.
QUIN: Hey, make sure there's lemon in my Pellegrino.
Maybe it's our girl-next-door appeal.
Would you excuse us? Police business.
LUIS: I'd like a word with each of you.
Miss Quin, you first.
- So what's this all about? - Couldn't say.
- I'm sure you know something.
- No.
Little help? LEE: I've always liked you.
If you want, you and I could be very close friends.
LUIS: Danny.
Quin's not copping to anything.
I'm gonna take them both to the station.
Sweat them a bit.
All right, do me a favour.
Have Quin meet me back in here in a minute.
No, I'd rather keep them apart.
Just trust me.
Give me a minute.
You look so serious.
LEE: You need to loosen up a bit.
What's with all the drama? Come on.
You can tell me.
Okay.
The cops caught this bad-ass named Han.
Now, Quin says that she doesn't know him, but she says that you do.
- What are you talking about? - You have to promise me that you're not gonna mention any of this to Det.
Perez, okay? If you two ladies could wait here a minute, I'd appreciate it.
[Arguing in Mandarin.]
She says, "What are you talking about? "Don't lie to me, you whore.
" No, actually, she said, "You bitch.
" Hiring Han was your stupid idea.
I told you we should have Wow.
"Killed Dad in Beijing.
" There you go.
I think it's time they took a trip downtown.
[Cutlery crashing.]
[Karen grunts.]
[Glass shattering.]
[Furniture crashing.]
[Both moaning and gasping.]
[Karen screaming.]
So, did you guys get a chance to talk? [Moaning and panting continues.]
[Reporters clamouring.]
REPORTER 1: Lee, right here! REPORTER 2: Girls! [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
[Reporters clamouring.]
REPORTER 3: Thank you.
REPORTER 4: Thank you.
One more.
REPORTER 5: Right here! Please! REPORTER 6: Please look this way! - What? - What are you smiling about? It's the China field office.
News of the killer Beijing babes is everywhere.
We're booked for the next three months.
It'll be on the cover of every tabloid.
Hope everybody's happy.
Hey.
Big "I dos" are about to happen.
MIKE: Hey.
ED: Hey.
Thanks for getting me to wait the weekend.
Why? What did you decide? Talked to Beresh.
He says the plaintiff dropped the case.
Is that right? Must be your winning smile, my man.
- Mr.
D, you didn't? - No.
Hey, you know how to save a lawyer from drowning? - No, I don't.
- That's good, Mike.
HUGH HEFNER: By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada I now pronounce you husbands and wives.
In honour of your commitment to one another, you may kiss your brides.
[Crowd cheering.]
[Fast-paced wedding instrumental music.]
- So they survived the fever.
- Yeah, well, they were lucky.
One of their crazy ideas was to have hot monkey sex on a dining table.
I feel sorry for these first-timers.
It's like they come to town and they start having these crazy impulses.
Yeah, at least us locals know better, right? Totally.
Definitely.
[Fast-paced wedding instrumental music continues.]
MIKE: It took me a while to find the wheels you wanted but I think you'll be happy.
You are the man, Mike.
Gotta tell you, good idea bringing it around back - because if our fiancees saw it - Yeah, I understand.
[Car horn honking.]
[Men cheering and hooting.]
You ready, boys? ALL: [Cheering.]
Yeah! [Whooping.]
I could die happy right now.
[All cheering and shouting.]
WOMAN: You think you're all that.
Don't get uppity with me.
You're nothing but a bunch of hos.
Hey, is there a problem? Just a showgirl, daddy-o trying to pass on my resume to a couple of no good biatches! - Hey, why don't we - I am a hell of a dancer.
Check this out.
There you go.
That's Whoa! WOMAN: Get off me! MIKE: I was WOMAN: I don't need your help.
[Bus horn honking.]
[All hooting and cheering.]
MIKE: Hey! Hey, drunk lady! [Bus horn honking continuously.]
[Woman exclaiming.]
You okay? [Snoring.]
[Theme music.]
[Chinese drums beating.]
Hey! You're 10 minutes late.
Get into the bar now.
Go.
You too, buddy.
Go on.
MARY: Now, page housekeeping.
If the welcome baskets aren't ready now, they are in for a world of pain.
[Chinese drums continue beating.]
SAM: How's it going for you today? Aside from the fact that I have two dozen brides demanding that I make Sunday the happiest day of their lives, great.
That's my high roller from Taiwan.
He wants me to spoon-feed him caviar.
- That's not so bad.
- From my navel.
Yes, caviar.
Yes.
[Sam exclaiming.]
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
- Since when do you speak Chinese? - Mandarin.
SAM: Since I learned 80% of high rollers were Chinese.
How did you land Zhao? I thought he only played in Monte Carlo.
SAM: Found out his daughters go to school in New York.
He doesn't get to see them very often, so I organised So you organised a little reunion.
Very nice.
[Speaks in Mandarin.]
[Men hooting.]
[Cameras clicking.]
DANNY: Who are they? They would be Mr.
Zhao's daughters, the new "it" girls.
SAM: [Sighing.]
To be rich and beautiful and know it.
Magazines can't get enough of them.
WOMAN 1: That's it.
Perfect.
[Peppy instrumental music.]
MAN 1: Here we go! ED: Sir? ZHAO: A word, please? ED: Sure.
This way.
WOMAN 2: Quin? Lee? MAN 2: Beautiful.
ED: Mr.
Zhao, what can I do for you? I would like your security team to keep an eye on my daughters.
ED: If it's their safety you're concerned with I can assure you that Las Vegas is a very safe town and the surveillance on The Strip alone Actually, I would prefer them not leave the hotel.
With all due respect, you'll have to give me a little more information.
I have not seen my two girls in many years.
This recent obsession your press has with them is not something I'm pleased with.
Well, you know, we do have celebrities flying in and out of Vegas every day.
And there's paparazzi in every single hotel up and down The Strip.
But what is it you suggest that I do? I'm a simple man, Mr.
Deline.
I don't need a lion dance, or someone to Feng Shui my swimming pool.
All I want is peace of mind that I don't see my daughters on your cheap American magazines.
ZHAO: Please, keep them out of trouble.
If you can't do that, I will find a casino that can.
- I'll put my best man on it.
- Thank you.
[Speaks in Mandarin.]
Very good.
[Peppy instrumental music.]
[Giggling.]
[People chattering.]
WOMAN 1: Good job last night, Mike.
WOMAN 2: Hey, you can save me anytime.
MAN: Hey, good going, Mike.
Let me guess.
You two are here for the Weekend of Weddings.
Special events check-in is right over there.
Thanks.
I'm Karen, and this is my fiance, Bill.
BILL: How are you? MIKE: Hey.
This is our first time in Vegas.
Never would have guessed it.
Where you folks from? Windom, Minnesota.
Our whole town's about as big as that pyramid we saw on our way in.
I cannot believe we're getting hitched in Vegas.
- Like Elvis.
- And Priscilla.
I just hope we'll be as happy as they were.
Mary? We got another pair of lovebirds here for your wedding.
- Mary Connell.
- Hi.
Thank you so much for getting us in at the last minute.
Yeah, we weren't really sure if we could afford it.
But when we heard about the limos and then the Elvis impersonators - and the prime rib and the lobster banquet - We just had to be here.
We're very happy you're here.
Let's check you in.
KAREN: Great.
Thank you.
MARY: Sure.
MIKE: See you later.
BILL: See you later.
- Vegas virgins? - Yeah, and they got the fever bad.
You're him, aren't you? Could you sign this? Yes.
MIKE: Here you go.
My pleasure.
Hey, what are you doing here? Yeah, don't you have more hero stuff to do? Don't you have two little girls you're supposed to be babysitting? They're getting massages.
And have you seen these two? It's not babysitting, bro.
Two words: Ed's watching.
[Chuckling.]
That's funny.
DANNY: Not as funny as a local strip joint naming a cocktail after you.
- The Cannon Blast.
- The Cannon Blast.
Right.
If you two are finished cracking yourselves up I have work to do.
Thank you very much.
- Mike Cannon? - Yes, how can I help you, sir? - I guess he didn't want an autograph.
- Guess not.
[Cell phone ringing.]
- I'm being sued.
- What? That lady I saved is suing me.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Yeah? They're where? MAN: Girls, right over here.
MAN: Good.
DELINDA: Aren't you supposed to be babysitting these two? MARY: I got the press here to cover the Weekend of Weddings brunch but all they've done is take snapshots of those two.
MARY: They've hijacked my photographers, Danny.
Danny.
[Cameras clicking.]
Stop harassing my fiance.
Why? We think he likes it.
Maybe if you harassed him right, we wouldn't have to.
Aren't you supposed to be getting massages? BOTH: We got bored.
Now, if you had massaged us like we asked we wouldn't have to come in here looking for fun.
We need constant supervision.
I'll be more than happy to give you guys my undivided attention.
Can we just talk about this outside? [Sighs.]
MAN: Girls? Couple more, please? Tramps.
[Exclaims.]
That worked out well.
MAN 1: Hold up! MAN 2: Right there, girls.
DANNY: Back off! Enough.
Get.
Enough.
If you two weren't so damn cute, you'd be in a four-by-six holding cell right now.
LEE: We don't want special treatment.
Treat us like any other troublemakers.
QUIN: What do you want to do, frisk us? Handcuff us? QUIN: Maybe spank us? LEE: Teach us a lesson.
Look [Cell phone ringing.]
Hold on here for just a minute.
Keep an eye on these two, would you? And only an eye.
Yeah? ED: How's it going down there? Great! We got three bachelor parties tonight.
Think you can handle it? I'm a little tied up with the Zhao sisters right now, Ed.
You're a marine with guerrilla training.
You think you can handle two coeds? Yeah, well, guerrillas don't wear six-inch heels.
ED: What? DANNY: Nothing.
I gotta go.
DANNY: Where are they? MAN: [Stuttering.]
They Mary, have you seen the Zhao sisters? - No.
- Are you sure? They're a little hard to miss, don't you think, Danny? This is so much better than getting hitched at our church.
KAREN: They have potlucks all the time, and the place reeks of beef.
I am happy to say our wedding hall smells nothing of beef.
MARY: You can check it out for yourself at the rehearsal.
I'll walk you there.
KAREN: Let me grab Bill.
MARY: Sure.
- Sweetie.
We gotta go to the rehearsal.
- In a minute.
MAN: Winner! Pay the line.
- I'll meet you guys there.
- No.
We're coming with you.
Right, Bill? We need to go.
It's a rehearsal, baby, okay? We can be a little late.
Honey, this is important to me.
Well, winning the house money is important to me.
BILL: Yeah! MAN: Eleven! Winner! You said you didn't even gamble.
You said you were a natural blonde.
You don't see me complaining.
[All laughing.]
Bill, let's go.
[Crowd chanting.]
Bill! Bill! MAN: Eleven again! Winner! Slap my ass and call me Sally! MARY: All right.
Hey, you know what? Let me see your wedding dress.
I'm sure it's beautiful.
BILL: Oh, yeah! Mr.
Cannon, your reckless actions caused my client to sustain a severe sprain in her right trapeze muscle.
She would have been run over by a bus.
That's your opinion.
My client thinks otherwise.
Since she's an entertainer at a gentlemen's club She's a stripper.
this avoidable injury will result in a considerable loss of income not to mention pain and suffering and loss of consortium.
- Loss of what? - That means that I can't have sex.
I thought you were a stripper, not a hooker.
Mr.
Cannon, we can easily add slander to the suit.
I saved your life.
Why are you doing this to me? Honey, I got nothing against you.
LAWYER: Technically, we are suing the Montecito.
They're liable since you were acting as their employee.
And because you know a payday when you see one.
Mr.
Cannon, please.
I'll handle this.
[Racy instrumental music.]
GROOVY: Yeah, I got Motown in my blood.
WOMAN: Are you from Detroit? GROOVY: I'm from Pakistan.
GROOVY: But Detroit's like my spiritual home.
Anyway, like I was saying I got an eye for talent, and, baby, you've got it.
GROOVY: Here's my card.
WOMAN: You think? GROOVY: Bring that with the demo.
I'll see what I can work out.
Yo, I told you, homey.
It's Groovy.
I got it.
Listen, you said the Zhao sisters were in here? Them mummies is fine.
I seen them in magazines and whatnots, but they got some nice ta-tas.
Where are they? On the real, dog, how about some quid pro quo? You could hook me up with Delinda.
GROOVY: She look like a lady trying to get a freak on! DANNY: Why don't you zip it up before I tell these women you're not actually a producer? - Man, why you gonna say something - Where are they? [Racy instrumental music.]
LEE: Danny! LEE: Danny, dance with me.
QUIN: What are you doing? We were supposed to be in M.
C.
Lockjaw's music video.
Not on my watch.
Daddy's not gonna like you pushing us around like this.
Actually, your father told me I could use anything short of a stun gun DANNY: To keep you here.
QUIN: I like it when you talk dirty.
QUIN: You can let us go.
We'll make it worth your while.
[Shouting in Mandarin.]
Thank you for alerting me.
Why don't I escort you back up to the penthouse, sir? Sure.
[People cheering.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Seductive instrumental music.]
[Elevator bell dings.]
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
[Girls screaming.]
[Sword whooshing.]
[Assassin grunting.]
[Fast-paced instrumental music continues.]
[Girls scream.]
[Grunting.]
[Assassin groaning.]
Go, go, go! Lock down penthouse, now! ED: That elevator only goes up to Zhao's penthouse.
No surveillance cameras in the penthouse? It's illegal.
What's with the red box? DANNY: Video IQ recognises specific human characteristics including gait so we can ID the guy based on that.
And the only way out of the building is through the casino.
LUIS: He looks lost.
ED: He stopped to ask this guy directions.
He's one of our guests.
I spoke to him through an interpreter.
- He only speaks Mandarin.
- So our guy's definitely Chinese.
And I'm betting that he ain't been in this country too long.
[Cell phone ringing.]
Yeah? I'll be right up.
My people have finished questioning the Zhaos.
I'm gonna wrap things up in the penthouse.
Luis, the last time I saw a blade like this I was working the Chinese border.
- You worked the Chinese border? - No, I never worked the Chinese border.
DANNY: You just said ED: But the point is that they would never use something like this for a robbery.
Never.
- You think it was a hit? - It wouldn't surprise me, yeah.
All right.
[Ed exhales loudly.]
Danny, listen if this was a hit, so for his sake and our protection in the nicest way, you gotta get him out of here.
All right.
I am not going anywhere.
Mr.
Zhao, you need to start thinking about your safety.
I'm sorry, but the No, look.
I appreciate all you've done for us but I lost $2 million here and I intend to win it back.
And I'm not gonna be scared off by some criminal.
DANNY: I understand ZHAO: Excuse me.
Danny.
The Zhaos didn't give us much.
Did you ask about the Chinese foreigner? DANNY: Ed heard some stuff about his business dealings.
LUIS: I know this isn't the best thing for the hotel but I work for the city, not the Montecito.
Now, I'm trying Just baby-sit the girls.
Let me deal with the police business.
Look, I'm just One more, please.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Streak ended? Boy, you should be happy.
The casino made five big ones off me.
I'm not here as a hotel employee, Bill.
Now, excuse my frankness but what you did to Karen was pretty crappy.
I know.
I should have gone to the rehearsal, but I just I couldn't stop, you know? It's like Vegas made me do it.
- We call it the fever.
- I wanted to apologise.
But by the time I got back, she'd moved to another room She was very upset.
You should make it up to her.
Soon.
- Any suggestions? - Jewellery.
WOMAN: I can't believe we'll be getting married on Sunday.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay? How'd the deposition go? - Know in a minute.
MARY: Good luck.
MIKE: Thanks.
- Hey.
- Hey.
So? We're gonna settle.
But I didn't do anything wrong.
BERESH: You're taking this personally, Mike.
Look at it from a cost-benefit perspective.
BERESH: For $100,000, we can make this case go away.
If we push forward, we could lose millions.
Can't we investigate or something? For all we know, there's nothing wrong with her.
Trapeze muscle? A full investigation could take months.
The costs If we settle, people are gonna think I messed up.
And what happens the next time there's an accident? Are you telling me I can't help a lady that's about to be run over by a bus? [Muffled.]
Actually, yes.
I can't help people? Unfortunately, we live in a very litigious society.
I'm sure as hell not gonna work for a company that says I can't help people.
I quit.
[Soft rock instrumental music.]
Beresh told me I'm supposed to stand by and watch if someone's about to be killed.
Mike, it's not personal.
It's just in the best interests of the Montecito.
- I didn't do anything wrong, Ed.
- I know that, Mikey.
I know it.
But if you quit now, you're gonna look guilty.
You cannot quit.
Take the weekend.
Just take the weekend and think about it, okay? Just as a favour to me.
And if you still wanna quit I won't stand in your way, maybe.
[Mike exhales loudly.]
[Cell phone ringing.]
- All right, Ed.
- Thanks, Mike.
ED: Yeah.
ED: The sisters are at the bachelorette party? ED: You make sure Danny knows.
[Rock instrumental music playing loudly.]
[Girls cheering.]
[Hooting.]
- Women are pigs.
- You have no idea.
Wait till you see this.
[Fire alarm ringing.]
- You set off the fire alarm? - Attention, everyone! We need you all to evacuate the building unless you think you can take the heat.
[Women cheering.]
[Racy rock music playing loudly.]
Was that your idea? - Mary's.
- I've always loved a man in uniform.
Wait, excuse me.
DANNY: Whoa.
If I didn't know better, I think you two were trying to sneak off.
There are assassins in the hotel.
Or haven't you heard? Yeah.
Your father was almost killed yesterday.
You'd think you could stay out of the clubs at least one night.
You think this is the first time this has happened? You're so naive.
How about this? How about I turn a blind eye this once and then you give me an idea what your father's into.
Our father, like any good Beijing businessman has a lot of enemies, some more dangerous than others.
Dangerous how? LEE: One guy, we think he's with a triad called Sun Fah.
He's been after our father for a long time.
Daddy won't go to the police, 'cause he can't be associated with gangs.
QUIN: It's very stressful.
Quin and I deal with it by going clubbing.
I'll bet you do.
And our father gambles the family fortune away.
It's a Zhao family tradition.
Can we go now? Yeah.
But be careful, please.
DELINDA: Sure.
I'll try on your hard hat.
And anything else you want to put on me.
- Hey.
- It's over.
- Excuse me? - The wedding.
It's gone, kaput, down the toilet.
[Karen slurping.]
Five years I was with him, and I thought I knew all of his faults.
The pro wrestling, the snoring, the third nipple.
KAREN: I could live with all that.
But ever since we got here, it's like I don't even know him.
It's time to move on.
Listen, in Vegas, people do things that they would normally never dream of.
It doesn't mean that Bill doesn't love you, Karen.
Karen? - Do you hear that? - What? That's the sound of a fire engine.
And it goes, "Woo.
" [Racy rock music continues.]
[Man speaking in Mandarin.]
Danny McCoy.
Charlie.
Hey.
How are you, man? Good.
What brings you here? I need a little information from you.
I was wondering if you'd ever heard of a triad called Sun Fah.
The reason I ask is because we had a hit taken out on one of our guests and his daughters think it might be this triad that he did business with.
- Yeah, I know them.
- Yeah? They're brutal sons of bitches.
I hear they run with the Moo Shu Boys.
[Charlie laughing.]
CHARLIE: Just because I live in Chinatown you think I got the 411 on every underworld triad? Now I remember why I beat the crap out of you in grade school.
You were just jealous 'cause I was the one scoring with the honeys.
Thanks for the information.
[Oriental instrumental music.]
[Danny exclaims.]
[Danny grunts.]
[Tense instrumental music.]
MAN: Okay.
Why you asking questions about triad? You a cop? THUG 1: Not a cop.
THUG 2: Not a cop.
So who are you? Busybody? DANNY: Go to hell.
You better close your eyes.
This is really gonna hurt.
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
[Tense instrumental music intensifies.]
You know Ed Deline? [Energetic instrumental music.]
BILL: What was l KAREN: Oh, yeah, you were the biggest mistake of my life! Five long years I wasted with you! You're just a pig! BILL: Oh, my God! What did you BILL: You're a KAREN: A what? BILL: You're a slut! KAREN: Nothing happened! Right! What is this? What the hell is this, huh? ED: Whoa.
Excuse me.
KAREN: Fireman's hat.
Hey, you put some clothes on.
You know this guy? We had coffee! That is it! - Oh, God! - Geez! You know, my mother was right.
You know, you are a skank! Your mother is a bitch! I wish she would just get back on her broomstick and fly Well, at least she's not a hussy! - A hussy? - Yeah, a hussy! Calm down! BILL: God, please! KAREN: I'm gonna kill you! Get her out of here.
- I heard there was a problem.
- No, we had one.
- They're checking out.
- Ed, they're here for the wedding.
They're supposed to get married on Sunday.
Am I supposed to ignore the disturbance or the destruction of property? Am I? No, but I've been hyping this event for months, and if the reporters find out that we threw out one of the couples, it'll be a PR nightmare.
Yeah? What? Okay, I'll be right there.
Okay.
But if they so much as crash a buffet line You hear me? - Yes.
Thank you.
- Yeah.
Come on.
Thank you.
ED: And put something on that guy.
MARY: Yes, sir.
MARY: What happened? You told me that I should go make up with Karen.
Yeah, I said buy her jewellery, not break into her room nude.
I thought it would be romantic.
You know, I'd wait for her in bed, nude, maybe with a rose in my mouth.
BILL: Then I see a fireman coming out of her bedroom - and there ain't no freaking fire.
- I told you.
We just talked.
He had a lot of positive qualities.
Oh, yeah, like what? The hose? I'll show you a hose! Okay.
You know what? That's enough of that.
Maybe you two should just take a little break from each other.
All right? Just for a while.
BOTH: Fine! [Tense instrumental music.]
[Tense instrumental music heightens.]
[Both grunting.]
Hey, Chuan.
How you been? You haven't slowed down much.
You're looking good, man.
- Not thin like back in Guangdong.
- How's business? We're the biggest distributor for imitation handbags in Southwest.
ED: Get out of here.
CHUAN: Yeah.
ED: Really? No.
CHUAN: Take.
It's for Jillian and Delinda.
ED: Thank you.
Business is very good, but going legit, not easy.
Especially when people go around asking question about triad.
What the hell is this? See, young people, they act without thinking.
He won't be a problem to you again.
You have my word.
CHUAN: Before, we deal with Red Guard.
Now with your young friend.
Times change, huh? I mean, like Vegas.
Used to be Mafia and Rat Pack.
Now it's the Fortune Fiver and Celine Dion.
CHUAN: Maybe I used to be triad.
Now I sell knockoff handbags.
You have to change to survive, huh? - It's true.
- Well, if there's no triad what the hell was up with the knife down my pants? BOTH: Old habits.
[Speaking in Mandarin.]
[Tense instrumental music resumes.]
ED: Come on, kid.
Keep walking.
Now, if you're in over your head, let me know.
I'm not.
Keep your head down, all right? Here.
I mean, if you are, I can always get someone else.
I'm not.
I'll take care of it.
Keep your head down.
You're gonna scare the guests.
DANNY: Hey, Luis.
ED: Wait.
Why don't you two talk over here behind the tree? Keep your head down.
- Who worked you over? - Couple of guys who sell handbags.
We pulled the list of male visitors travelling alone from China in the last week.
It's pretty extensive.
I was hoping you could run it through the Montecito computer.
I'll call you if I get any hits.
Thanks.
[Keyboard keys clicking.]
[Lightly suspenseful instrumental music.]
[Computer beeps.]
[Lightly suspenseful instrumental music intensifies.]
[Traditional wedding instrumental music.]
[Both laughing.]
Do you mind? I'm trying to have a private girlie moment here.
Ouch.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I thought you wanted to get married in leather pants and ride off on Prince's motorcycle.
I was 10 when I said that.
You wanted to marry Daisy Duke.
Daisy Duke was hot, wasn't she? Well.
Yeah, that was forever ago.
I'm beginning to think I'm just not the marrying kind.
Long as I can remember, you wanted to have, what, five kids, ten dogs? Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
DANNY: Yeah.
MAN: Hey, Danny.
You said to call when the computer finished processing your list.
You have the names? MAN: I'm printing them now.
DANNY: I'll be right there.
MAN: Okay.
They'll be ready when you get here.
[Arguing loudly in Mandarin.]
- What's that all about? - It's been the same fight since day one.
He wants them to stop showing up in People Magazine and they want him to quit betting $10,000 a hand.
You know, family stuff.
This ought to distract them.
Mr.
Zhao? Det.
Perez wants to see you down at the station.
- I can give you a ride.
- What's going on? The police had a list of possible suspects, which our hotel intelligence narrowed down to a couple of names.
Shall we? Thank you so much for everything.
Quin and I will never forget you.
You're welcome.
ED: Thanks for waiting.
BERESH: Oh, no problem.
BERESH: What can I do for you? I heard we were settling the Mike Cannon case.
Yeah.
Cost considerations.
- Why aren't we investigating? - Cost considerations.
- I'll pay for it.
- That's very admirable, Ed.
These employees, they're like your soldiers.
Well, nothing like my soldiers.
They are my family, my friends.
Bottom line, Ed, we can't risk it.
[People hooting and cheering.]
ED: Hey, Rulan.
RULAN: Hey, Mr.
Deline.
ED: How you doing? RULAN: Good.
Listen, how'd you like to make a couple hundred bucks? Is that a trick question? Listen, you know how to operate a video camera, right? - Yeah.
- Good.
ZHAO: I want to thank you for your help with my daughters.
They weren't a problem.
Don't lie.
They are life-sucking she-devils.
Have been since they were born.
What did I expect? They were born year of the tiger, you know, like their mother.
That list of names, you may as well use as toilet paper.
You don't know these people.
They're invisible, like ghosts.
Well, we have our ways.
Like in your town, if you need to find someone you've got a go-to guy, right? Well, in Vegas, I'm that guy.
ZHAO: You talk big, but you'll never find them.
[Tense instrumental music.]
DANNY: All right, he's right behind us.
Move in.
LUIS: Move and you're dead.
DANNY: So where is this guy now? LUIS: We're questioning him at the precinct, but there's something I wanna tell you.
Hey, boys.
You okay? - Yeah.
- That hurt? Hey, easy.
Han says he was hired to kill Zhao and Danny.
He says he doesn't know his employer.
He was contacted by phone by a Chinese-speaking female.
Calls came from a pay phone, so we ran these traffic surveillance tapes.
DANNY: That's one of his daughters.
[Mysterious instrumental music.]
How about both of them? [Soft rock music playing.]
Hey.
All right, look.
Bad news.
I can't get you a refund on the wedding.
So if you want to break up, it's gonna cost you.
Might wanna talk it over for half an hour.
- Won't change my mind.
- Firehouse skank.
Look, I did you both a huge favour by bailing you out with Ed.
All right, just do this for me.
- Twenty minutes? - Come on.
Tick, tock.
Whatever.
Great.
You can talk about it in here.
Follow me.
Enjoy.
DANNY: Okay, we got a live feed of Han at the precinct.
Compare that with the footage of the intruder.
Tape of the girls, it's purely circumstantial.
We're gonna need more than that.
It's not gonna be easy.
These girls are smarter than they look.
Why would they want their own father dead? He's dropping millions at casinos all around the world.
He loses his money, they lose their inheritance.
[Computer beeping.]
DANNY: It's a match.
He's our guy.
Think it's time I had a word with the daughters.
[Knocking on door.]
Hey, show Luis to the girls, will you? I got to take care of something.
BERESH: This gonna take long? The plaintiff and her lawyer are waiting.
Why don't you let them wait? Have a seat.
All right.
Here, there's something I want you to see.
Here we go.
ED: This is a tape made last night.
ED: That is Miss Leboeuf at a tailgate party.
Now, I'm not a doctor but seems to me like her back has miraculously been healed.
ED: And here she is at work.
ED: Sure doesn't look like there's any loss of future income there.
Doesn't seem to be a whole lot of suffering and pain going on, either.
And if you watch a little while longer you'll see she's still able to have some sex, too.
ED: After they drop the case against Mike I want you to notify the DA so he can charge Miss Leboeuf with fraud.
I'm on it.
And exactly why weren't you on it before? - Ed, look - See, all it took was a kid from housekeeping, a video camera, and $200.
Now, what the hell do we pay you? You owe me $200.
ED: Attaboy.
[Upbeat rock instrumental music.]
I don't know why there's this obsession with us.
QUIN: Hey, make sure there's lemon in my Pellegrino.
Maybe it's our girl-next-door appeal.
Would you excuse us? Police business.
LUIS: I'd like a word with each of you.
Miss Quin, you first.
- So what's this all about? - Couldn't say.
- I'm sure you know something.
- No.
Little help? LEE: I've always liked you.
If you want, you and I could be very close friends.
LUIS: Danny.
Quin's not copping to anything.
I'm gonna take them both to the station.
Sweat them a bit.
All right, do me a favour.
Have Quin meet me back in here in a minute.
No, I'd rather keep them apart.
Just trust me.
Give me a minute.
You look so serious.
LEE: You need to loosen up a bit.
What's with all the drama? Come on.
You can tell me.
Okay.
The cops caught this bad-ass named Han.
Now, Quin says that she doesn't know him, but she says that you do.
- What are you talking about? - You have to promise me that you're not gonna mention any of this to Det.
Perez, okay? If you two ladies could wait here a minute, I'd appreciate it.
[Arguing in Mandarin.]
She says, "What are you talking about? "Don't lie to me, you whore.
" No, actually, she said, "You bitch.
" Hiring Han was your stupid idea.
I told you we should have Wow.
"Killed Dad in Beijing.
" There you go.
I think it's time they took a trip downtown.
[Cutlery crashing.]
[Karen grunts.]
[Glass shattering.]
[Furniture crashing.]
[Both moaning and gasping.]
[Karen screaming.]
So, did you guys get a chance to talk? [Moaning and panting continues.]
[Reporters clamouring.]
REPORTER 1: Lee, right here! REPORTER 2: Girls! [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
[Reporters clamouring.]
REPORTER 3: Thank you.
REPORTER 4: Thank you.
One more.
REPORTER 5: Right here! Please! REPORTER 6: Please look this way! - What? - What are you smiling about? It's the China field office.
News of the killer Beijing babes is everywhere.
We're booked for the next three months.
It'll be on the cover of every tabloid.
Hope everybody's happy.
Hey.
Big "I dos" are about to happen.
MIKE: Hey.
ED: Hey.
Thanks for getting me to wait the weekend.
Why? What did you decide? Talked to Beresh.
He says the plaintiff dropped the case.
Is that right? Must be your winning smile, my man.
- Mr.
D, you didn't? - No.
Hey, you know how to save a lawyer from drowning? - No, I don't.
- That's good, Mike.
HUGH HEFNER: By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada I now pronounce you husbands and wives.
In honour of your commitment to one another, you may kiss your brides.
[Crowd cheering.]
[Fast-paced wedding instrumental music.]
- So they survived the fever.
- Yeah, well, they were lucky.
One of their crazy ideas was to have hot monkey sex on a dining table.
I feel sorry for these first-timers.
It's like they come to town and they start having these crazy impulses.
Yeah, at least us locals know better, right? Totally.
Definitely.
[Fast-paced wedding instrumental music continues.]