Lethal Weapon (2016) s02e19 Episode Script

Leo Getz Hitched

1 (CLATTERING) All right, this is your last chance.
Drop the weapon or things aren't going to end well for you.
You know, you're a fast learner, kid.
But how's your hand-to-hand, huh? How's that? Huh? Huh? What are you gonna do with your hand-to-hand? Huh? Give me that! - Huh? Huh? - Yeah? (LAUGHS) (GIGGLING) Don't worry about by me I've got another hour or so to kill Don't worry about me You got my dad.
How about that? Better, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
MOLLY: Boys? Oh.
Come on.
- Boys! - RIGGS: Oh! - Hey! Hey! What's this? - What? What? You know the rules: no guns in the house.
Oh, you mean this gun.
Well, um you know, that was just, you know, a little, uh - a little SEAL training.
- (LAUGHING): Yeah.
SEAL training for my nine-year-old son? Well, it is his birthday, you know, and he's man of the house, so Yeah, man of the house! (WHOOPS) Yeah! Ooh, the man of the house! Hah! Hey, um not to send up any red flags, but I think Ben might be getting ready to pop the question.
Not sure who the lucky lady is, but Ugh.
That kid collects all kinds of crap - from around the house.
- Hmm.
Uh, it's Jake's promise ring.
You recognize it? No.
I mean, but you know, Jake never gave me a promise ring.
It's a nice rock.
Well, don't feel bad honestly.
I've got a special place for it.
In the junk drawer.
So, what are you doing for Ben's birthday? Birthday lunch at Chauncey Cheddar.
- Lucky me.
- Chauncey Cheddar? They've got the best mozzarella sticks in town.
And their ball pit rivals any in the city.
Look, if you can smuggle me some out, - Just do a smuggle grab.
- I'm just saying it'd be nice.
- Yes.
- I will try.
- Yeah? - (LAUGHING): I will try.
(ENGINE REVVING) You know that car? No.
Any reason that I should? I saw it drive by earlier.
I am not worried.
Hey, I have got two trained SEALs protecting me.
- See you later? - See you later.
What kind of man invites you to his wedding the day before, and then turns you into a giant billboard? The same kind that books it at a hotel near the airport.
Leo Getz.
I feel like a runner-up at some damn beauty pageant.
Clearly, the judges missed the swimsuit portion.
- I'm gonna take that as a compliment.
- (LAUGHS) Let's go.
You know, the best man can't be late, honey.
I'm not the best man.
You are the best man.
(SIGHS) Hey, Rog, you win a beauty pageant? Not in the mood, McNeile.
Keep your jokes and your trash on your side of the line.
Well, someone's not winning Miss Congeniality.
(MOUTHING) Honey, I Mmm.
Is-is that a pickle and peanut butter? I had a craving.
Is-is everything okay? Sure.
Listen, this wedding's gonna be rough, but I am dying to see the kind of woman that marries Leo Getz.
La-la-la-la, lasagna Hey, I'm surprised.
You know? - Look at this.
- Mm.
Food and drinks.
Can I make you a plate of sushi? Here have some.
You sure you don't want? Hey, what about a drink? I know you don't want to do this sober.
- No, I'm fine.
- You sure? I'm fine.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- How are you? - How are you? Oh, Roger.
You look as bad as Todd.
He's throwing up in the bathroom.
- Don't eat the sushi.
- Don't eat the sushi.
Isn't this place amazing? You would never know that it has a serious rodent problem.
Oh, my gosh, have you tried the sushi? Mwah.
And whatever I don't use, I just mail it right back in the same box.
- Congratulations, Leo.
- Thank you.
So, listen, when are we gonna meet the bride? Uh, Nina.
(LAUGHS) Uh, s-soon.
Very, very soon.
I'm hoping it's soon.
I just want to quickly have a-a little chat with my best man here.
- I'm not your best man.
- My really good man.
- Mm - My man friend.
Roger, I just want to - talk to you, please.
- WOMAN: Congrats, Leo.
Hi! Always wear the neck brace, remember? - In public, you're supposed - Okay, I will.
To be wearing the brace.
So, um, it's normal for the bride to be late to the wedding, yeah? - She's not here? - No.
When's the last time you talked to her? Uh, 7:00 last night after I gave her all the cash.
The cash? Yeah, the cash, the cash for the-the bar and the-the fish meats over there and the accordion player.
That guy.
He does only Weird Al covers.
He's the most expensive one you can get.
But that's She just said, "I want to hold onto the cash until the day.
" And that seemed to make That's normal, right? Nothing about your wedding is normal.
Oh, God, Gary's out.
Oh, he's heavily sedated.
That's good news.
Don't get anywhere near Gary's mouth.
Is everything okay? The bride-to-be is a no-show.
Oh, no.
Did you try calling her? Yeah.
Every five minutes, but no answer.
I'm sure there's an explanation.
- Think there's - Yeah, of course.
A million things could have happened.
She could have fallen into a sinkhole.
Those are in the news all the time these days.
You want us to put out an APB on a sinkhole.
- Yes.
- Honey, why don't you go to her place? Maybe she overslept.
Hey, you know what? When Riggs gets here, we'll go investigate.
- Oh, Riggs is not coming.
- You sure? Oh, yes.
He RSVP'd "Firm no.
" He wrote those words "Firm no.
" Who does that? I-I thought you said this was an emergency.
- Yeah, an emotional emergency.
- (SIGHS) You RSVP'd "No" and left me to do the thing all alone.
Because "No" was the obvious choice.
- But you left me alone.
- What do you mean? You had to go because Trish is going.
- That - (DOOR CREAKING) - (CREAKING) - Nina Delillo? Looks like she left in a hurry.
Just what I figured: a case of the runaway bride.
Rog, I am nervous as a hen over here.
Did you find anything? Yeah, we did.
And it doesn't look good.
Oh, God.
It It's not another man, is it? Well, not one you have to worry about.
SCORSESE: Meet Carl Yoon: contract enforcer and hit man.
CAUSE OF DEATH: cerebral puncture via a single white stiletto.
Oh, God.
Hey, hey, Leo, not here.
We vomit in the hallway.
I'm not gonna vomit.
I'm worried sick.
My bride is out there alone, terrified, defenseless.
Not to nitpick, but she did take out a hit man with a shoe.
- Not so defenseless.
- SCORSESE: Right.
As long as she's not barefoot, we know she's armed.
LEO: Sir, a little bit of empathy, please.
We're talking about the woman that I love.
And if you're implying that this is anything other than self-defense, oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
- Oh, oh.
- In the interest of finding Nina, can we just admit that she has a past? Guess what.
Fake news.
We all have a history.
Sir, we all have a history.
- Everybody.
- But hers includes theft, - Oh, wow.
- grifting.
- Wow.
- Two years in Chino for possession Okay.
Well, our prisons our prisons are overflowing - larceny and distribution.
- with the wrongfully convicted.
- According to, uh, what? To - Witnesses.
Uh, uh, uh, wow.
So many witnesses.
Look, Leo, this is a convicted felon who fled with your money after leaving a dead man in her home.
Come on, man.
How long have you known this woman? I have spent the most intense six and half weeks with her.
- Six weeks? - Six and a half.
And a half.
And I know her heart better than my own.
And that, gentlemen, is not a metaphor.
BAILEY: Okay, I know you're concerned about your girlfriend, but this is a slippery slope.
The car was suspicious so I would like for you to run the plates.
Suspicious because it was parked outside of your girlfriend's house? And it drove by twice.
Okay? Plus, I've got, like, the whole you know, gut instinct - thing happening, so - Wait.
It was reported stolen two weeks ago.
I'm-I'm sorry.
What was that? It was reported stolen two weeks ago.
See? Instinct.
All right, put a protective tail on Molly.
A tail? You don't want to do that.
Why not? Because she's your girlfriend, and I actually like Molly.
How about you discuss it? No! I worry so she doesn't have to, okay? Tail.
(WHISTLES) Everybody, call off Call off the hounds, stop the clock.
Mystery is solved.
(CRIES) I found, uh, Nina.
She's with her ex, uh, Victor, at his fight club.
And how do you know that, Leo? Because I feel like my heart has been ripped out by jackals.
And I traced her phone.
You have her password? I have all of her passwords.
Our entire relationship was about transparency.
Hey, text me the address of that club, would you? Hey, the case is closed.
Why do you need the address? Because I have to arrest her for murder.
The whole shoe, head, right? (SNORTING SOB) I'm OK (CRYING): Don't look at me.
Don't even look at me.
- What? - This kid that I'm having.
- Uh-huh.
- That's the year they graduate.
Well, upside, you can get 'em a hoverboard for graduation.
I'll be 70.
74 by the time he or she graduates college.
- (LAUGHING) - And by the time I'm walking he or she What are you laughing Look, Rog, you're never gonna make it to 74.
You got nothing to worry about, pal.
Good news, we're in the right spot.
(HIP-HOP PLAYING IN DISTANCE) My anger rush through veins corrupts The brain and what remains is just too dangerous I paid enough, let's change the rules, we make 'em up You take from us and we rage, rampage Serenade for the renegades Run up in your face with the savages Oh, naw, hell naw, we ain't having it Hey, guys! We're closed.
I certainly hope so.
Otherwise, this place sucks.
We got a problem here? I don't know.
Let me guess.
Victor Ivanov.
Can I call you Vic? Or do you hate that? Vic.
We're looking for Nina.
Is she here? No, she's not here.
So why don't you get the hell out.
Well, the problem is, her phone is here and her car's out front.
So you mind if we, uh, look around? VICTOR: Yeah.
I mind if you look around.
Also, - get the hell out.
- I know.
We heard you the first time.
So, are you always like this or just 'cause my partner called you Vic? Hey.
Whose lovely wedding dress with blood - all over it? - That's mine.
- Yours? I don't know.
- Oh, come on.
Maybe 125 pounds ago.
- Yeah, that's not gonna fit you.
- LEO: Victor Ivanov! I'm here to fight for my bride! - Nina! - Who the hell is this? - Leo, what are you doing? - LEO: "Who the hell is this?" (CHUCKLES): Oh.
I am a man with a certain set of skills.
And you Oh, my God.
Her dress.
You killed her! (YELLING) You think we should get involved? (GRUNTING) Eh, I don't know.
Let's kind of see how it plays out.
- (GRUNTING) - Might end up being self-correcting.
(GRUNTING) All right.
- Now we get involved.
- Oh! (GUNFIRE) (GRUNTING) (GROANS) (GASPS, GRUNTING) (GROWLING) - (GRUNTING) - (CHOKING) (GRUNTS) (GASPING) Nina! You're alive?! I'm standing here, aren't I? RIGGS: Hey! What do you guys say we call a draw?! (GUNFIRE) They never want to call it a draw! I thought that you'd ditched me! How dare you think that.
The-the passport and the plane ticket.
(GRUNTING) Two passports, two tickets.
You said you'd go to the ends of the earth for me.
I'm so sorry, my chicle! Oh! (GRUNTING) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Where you guys going? Tierra del Fuego.
Yeah, I think we're gonna need to make a stop first.
Leo, it's been 20 minutes, and your client's still not talking.
Mm, the guy can read a clock.
He's gifted.
Oh, look at that.
She's talking now.
Not to him, I'm not.
LEO: Okay, um, my client, as I said, is a smidge uncomfortable around law enforcement, so she may need a moment to get comfortable.
Well, I need an explanation about the dead guy in your house and the kilo in your bag.
Leo, you remember what I told my cousin Susie at the wedding that one time? That she could take a (WHISPERS) and stuff it into a (WHISPERS) and call it a hat trick? Okay, but I can't say that to Roger, because Roger was the best man at our wedding.
I wasn't your best man.
The people who you surround yourself with - are a reflection of who you are, Leo.
- (SIGHS) - Remember that.
- You remember that.
You remember that.
You're tearing me apart here.
Baby, tell Ro tell Roger your version of events.
(WHISPERS): For me.
For you? Please.
(SIGHS) I wait tables at an underground poker game.
The kind where you can use anything as collateral cash, - art, jewelry - Drugs.
Wow, your best man's a genius.
- All the connections he makes.
- I'm not the best man.
The night before the wedding, two players got into a fight and a bag fell in my lap.
Inside was collateral.
- You stole the cocaine.
- Leo, - he's twisting my words.
- Let the record state that my client borrowed - an unknown substance.
- Mm-hmm.
She is no laboratory.
Borrowed from whom? Jimmy Lee.
(SCOFFS, WHIMPERS) Jimmy-Jimmy Lee, the gangster? Well, I figured he wouldn't notice.
- (GROANING) - And he figured out it was you, so he sent a killer.
And then you took out the killer with your shoe.
Baby, baby.
Chicle, why? Why did you steal cocaine the night before our wedding? For us.
I saw your bank account, and 28 bucks - ain't gonna last long.
- I had a lot of I had a lot of money in Pets.
com early and then Bitcoin.
- And currently - Oh, don't you do that.
Don't you sell yourself short.
This man may not be rich in cash, but he is rich in his words.
And he moves me.
I sold the coke to get enough to start our life together.
(CRYING) See that, Detective? This is a crime of love.
- Of passion.
- Mm-hmm.
- (MOANING) - Hey.
Hey, hey, hey! There's cameras in here.
Get me the tape.
Can you get me You have access to the tape, yeah? BAILEY: Hey, so, I got a update on that uni that was trailing your girlfriend.
She didn't go to Chauncey Cheddar.
What do you mean she never went? She was at a supermarket parking lot with that stolen Trans Am.
Did we find out who's in the vehicle? Uni didn't get a look.
But, apparently, there was a conversation and then the car took off.
I'm gonna call her.
Wait, wait.
You're not gonna call Molly about a secret surveillance of Molly.
That's a bad idea.
See, this is why you know nothing about relationships.
Everything all right? Yeah! Yeah.
I was just, uh, you know, curious how the festivities down at Chauncey Cheddar were going.
Oh, that.
Uh We didn't end up going.
Capacity issue? Actually, yeah, it was that.
Booked solid.
Everybody loves Chauncey.
Of course they do.
So, uh, what'd you guys do instead? Check out a movie or, uh maybe meet up with an old friend in a parking lot? How do you know I was in a parking lot? Oh, my God, Riggs.
Are you following me? No, I was not, okay? Um But, you know, I may have put a protective tail on you, yes.
A tail? Why the hell would you put a tail on me? Look, because I was worried about you, okay? It Because it's Uh, affection is what I was showing you.
Affection? It's a violation.
Suddenly, you don't trust me? What? (CHUCKLES) Of course I trust you.
- Ask Bailey.
Bailey will say - Bailey? Bailey knows about this? Who else? Well, you know, I mean, the uni that was following you.
Um, there was this lady - from Dispatch that - (CLICK) She-she hung up on you? Yeah, she hung up.
Figured that.
Go away, please.
Because I have an update on the case.
There's a poker game today at Hu's Laundry down in Chinatown.
Nina said that Jimmy Lee's gonna be there.
That's the address.
Round here, every day is a gamble How much do they expect us to handle? When everybody's Everywhere's the wrong place and wrong time So who was in the car? I didn't ask.
What do you mean you didn't ask? Conversation went really bad, Rog.
Aren't you even curious about who was in that car? Come on, Rog.
Sometimes you're better off not knowing.
Gentlemen, password.
One sec.
You know what, you're right.
Sometimes it is best if we don't know.
If I didn't know about that pregnancy test You would be living in a happy state of denial.
- Yes.
- MAN: Hey.
Give me a password or get out.
- Happy.
- Denial.
Nah, they a-pull pistols and peel them Open sesame.
Murder, robbin', and stealin' The children had a childhood but they missed it They learned to ride a bike Hey, y'all! What y'all doin'? - Uh-uh-uh-uh.
- Watch it.
Here for Jimmy Lee.
He's the lucky winner today.
Ooh, well, I don't know, Rog.
Pocket twos.
This guy's even worse.
All he has is red parallelograms.
Check out all this collateral, Rog.
That's just a lot of loot.
And Whose is this? Who brought this ring? (GRUNTS) (MAN SHOUTING) Freeze! Should've folded, Jimmy Lee.
Yeah, I just, uh got punched in the gut.
Hey, Cap.
Got a sec? You know that, uh, paternity leave situation we have? No way.
You guys are pregnant again? Trish must be over the moon.
Well, I haven't talked to her about it yet, but I know because I found a test.
But you know this is good, right? Yeah, I mean, of course, but, you know, we just got out of diaper duty.
Now we have to relive that again.
Roger Murtaugh, in the 20-plus years that I've known you, the happiest I have ever seen you were the days your children were born.
Really? Don't you think the world will be a better place with another little Murtaugh running around? (LAUGHS) We do have good genes.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Cap.
I'm gonna get home to Trish if that's it.
So I saw that there's a BOLO out for Jake Voss.
Jake may have showed up to the poker game.
When were you gonna tell me this? I-I didn't think it was my place.
That's Riggs' friend.
Well, I don't know about "friend," 'cause Riggs is the one that submitted the BOLO.
Guess the situation changed.
(SIGHS) It's the one thing Ben asked for on his birthday, a chocolate soufflé, and they keep collapsing.
(LAUGHS) You saw him? Briefly.
Why didn't you tell me? Why do you think? Because you're a cop, Martin.
He's a fugitive.
Cops catch fugitives.
Well, that's not how it worked last time.
You let him go.
Maybe I didn't want to put you or put us in that position again.
But that's not your call to make.
When it is about my son, it is.
I gave Jake his ring back and I made it clear: if he wants to see Ben again, he can turn himself in.
Did it occur to you that maybe I should know that Jake's in Los Angeles? Oh, I don't know, Riggs, did it occur to you that maybe you shouldn't have had a damn cop follow me around? Listen, I was trying to protect you.
Oh, well, guess what.
Me, too.
How'd that turn out? You know what? We can try to not mess this thing up as much as we want, but in the end, it's Molly.
(GROANS) (SIGHS) Where's he staying? A motel in Simi.
(SIGHS) Do me a favor and get rid of that.
You know, when I'm done with the briefs, you want to go grab some dinner? Dinner can wait.
How about some of this? Oh, okay.
This is the Roger I like.
Yeah, well, Trish, I want you to know that (CLEARS THROAT) I'm all good with it.
" Yeah.
The whole pregnancy thing.
Pregnancy? (LAUGHING): Oh, God you I'm not pregnant.
- No? - No.
Then why am I doing this? - I was out chasing bad guys all day.
- Oh.
You should be rubbing my bunions.
What is this? Why would you think I'm pregnant? I found a pregnancy test in the trash.
Well, it's not mine.
You serious? I'm serious.
- Thank God.
- (LAUGHS) I don't think I had another Swedish crib in me.
Oh, please.
You loved building that crib.
Ah, this is so great.
If if you found a pregnancy test in our trash and it's not mine RIANA: Hey, guys, I'm skipping dinner tonight.
I've just been feeling sick since this morning.
- Funky - Do-do-do - Funky - Do-do-do-do - Funky - Do-do-do.
She told you.
You knew she would.
(GROANS) Well, uh, (CLEARS THROAT) you still a pepperoni guy or have you gone gluten-free on us? You know why I'm here.
Yeah, to steal my freedom, like you stole my wife and my kid.
Hell, Marty, you want my shirt? I'm running out of things for you to take.
Why'd you come back? To see my son.
What'd you get for him? - I mean, today's his birthday.
- You know that, right? So, what'd you get him for his birthday? Maybe a shiny new red bicycle? Or maybe that BB gun he's been wanting.
What, so-so you're a family man now? Playing catch, buying presents for my kid.
(SNIFFS) Yeah.
You know that ain't gonna last.
Why are you really here? I got business.
Are you kidding me? You got business? It's who I am.
Do you realize I've got to arrest you now? And then I'm gonna go home and explain it to your son? You ain't calling the shots no more, Marty.
Who is this guy? Nobody to me.
Leo, I need to talk to your client.
Or Palmdale I'm sorry, not right now.
She's being taken to the courthouse.
- Leo, honey, baby.
- Yes, my love.
- You said we had ten minutes.
- Nina.
This will take less than five minutes.
Maybe you don't understand, Hopalong, this could be the last time that Nina and I are alone for one to four years, and we need a room to, uh, prepare legally.
- So - Right, right.
Leo, so help me God, if I don't get a minute with her, you're never gonna prepare again.
- Make it quick.
Go quick.
- Yeah.
- Quick, quick.
- I already took my the pill I was supposed to take.
This business again? The sooner you answer him, the sooner he's gone.
It's an invitation to a monthly card game for high rollers.
$250,000 buy-in.
"Rochambeau" is the password.
Okay, wonderful.
If that's everything, uh, Detective.
Then, honey, gum.
Spit out the gum.
You recognize this guy? He's a new player.
He-he was there the-the night those two idiots got into that fight.
Was he involved in the fight? Oh, come on, don't sit.
He's sitting.
Nah, he was hiding over by the safe while the guards locked it.
LEO: Okay, seven minutes.
Clothes are coming off, that's it.
Is it possible that he could see the combination from where he was? It's possible.
Shirt on, pants off.
Sorry, Detective.
The time to prepare is now.
RIGGS: All right, look, I need a list - of all possible gambling locations.
- LEO: Okay.
Querida, I'll do the usual spot? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
(STAMMERS) Here, that's better.
Ooh, ooh.
(LEO AND NINA MOANING) Just text me the locations.
Shh, shh, shh.
Here he comes, shh.
- What the hell is this? - SCORSESE: We thought we would introduce you to a concept you may want to learn about, Dad.
It's Riana.
She's who's pregnant, Riana.
Ah, that's a terrible joke, Scorsese.
Everybody back to work! (GROANS) Everybody go.
Come on.
Leave it.
Leave it.
Get back to the morgue.
- I could just Okay.
- Go back to the morgue.
That was a well-intentioned prank.
I'm so sorry.
- Not as sorry as I am.
- BAILEY: Hey.
So I got a hit on that BOLO for Jake.
His car was spotted outside of Kim's Travel Agency in Koreatown.
That's one of the places on Nina's list.
I'll tell Riggs.
Hey, Murtaugh.
Make sure you bring protection.
Now, go.
I bid $5,000.
MAN: Raise.
WOMAN: Fold.
MAN: All in.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) I got to take a leak.
I don't know about y'all, but I feel like a winner tonight.
- Hit the ground, hit the ground! - (SCREAMING) Everyone stay cool! Hands where I can see 'em! Get down now! Right now! Hands up.
Stay down! Stay down! It's payday, boys.
I didn't hear from you all day.
You went after Jake last night.
Are you okay? I'm okay.
(EXHALES) That's good.
So now can I go back to just being mad at you? Yeah, carry on.
Look, Molly Jake's got himself in some real trouble.
You just need to prepare yourself that it's not gonna end well.
Well, you just make sure it ends well for you, okay? 'Cause as I said, I plan on being able to be mad at you for a long time.
You may never get over it.
I hope not.
Talk to you soon.
We're clear.
Let's go.
Cops! Jake! (GRUNTING) You want to fight, Grandpa? (GRUNTING) Who the hell told you? Tonight Everybody just have a good time And we gon' make you lose your mind We just wanna see you ANNOUNCER: Welcome to Chauncey Cheddar.
Make sure to try our delicious mozzarella sticks.
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY) (GRUNTING) (EXCLAIMS) Shufflin', shufflin' Step up fast (SPECTATORS EXCLAIMING) We get money, don't be mad Now stop, hatin' is bad One more shot for us, another round Please fill up my cup Don't make this harder than it's got to be, Jake.
I already went to prison for you once, Marty, I ain't going again.
Get up, get down Put your hands up to the sound Get up, get down Put your hands up to the sound Put your hands up to the sound, to the sound Jake, calm down.
Put your hands up, put your hands up Party rock is in the house tonight Everybody just have a good time Put your hands up.
You two should be ashamed.
(BOTH PANTING) You know you're gonna screw it up with her.
(GROANS) But (GRUNTS) maybe not.
(SIRENS WAILING) How can you be so sure? I love her, Jake.
Let's go, out of the way, folks.
Make way, make way, folks.
All right, hands behind you back, come on.
(HANDCUFFS CLICK) All right, let's go.
- We got to be.
- You go first.
No, you go first.
You stop.
WOMAN: Cloudy with an 80% chance of precipitation.
Don't think it's gonna affect us too much (EXHALES, INHALES) - Hey.
So, um, baby, before we say anything, we just want you to know - that we love you.
- Love.
- And we support you - Support you so much.
no matter what.
No matter what.
What's wrong? Well, we just want to talk.
TRISH: Mm-hmm.
MURTAUGH: You know, talk about, um Hmm.
We want to talk about - the baby.
- Yeah.
- (TRISH CLEARS THROAT) - Baby? - Baby.
- The baby.
What, what-what baby? Just just give me a name.
I w I won't kill him.
- I might kill him.
- TRISH: No.
The baby needs a father.
Wh-Why do you think I'm pregnant? Oh, my God.
You think I'm fat? - Riana, no.
- No, no, no.
These jeans just shrunk in the wash, and Riana your father found the pregnancy test in our trash.
- Trash.
- And we just want you to know that it's okay.
- No.
No, guys, I'm not pregnant.
I've never been pregnant.
I swear.
- You swear? - Yeah.
Don't you think I would have come to you if I was? You guys have done it so many times.
You're, like, experts.
- Well - I mean, I'm pretty good at what I do.
TRISH: Well, yeah, you know I'm good at what I do.
MURTAUGH: Yeah, and that dress you're wearing No.
Yeah, sorry.
You're not pregnant.
- No.
- MURTAUGH: That's wonderful.
But if it's not yours and it's not your mom's, - then whose - (DOORBELL RINGS) Big Rog.
Peace offering? Coffee or booze? What's the catch? Oh, no-no catch.
Lois has come back home, but she's on this weird cleanse.
Oh, okay.
I'm glad your wife is back.
I guess that silly singles cruise was just something she had to get out of her system.
A-And now she's not drinking caffeine or liquor? No raw fish or soft cheese, either.
She says it's good for her skin, and, wow, it is glowing.
Y-You know, it almost sounds like Lois is pregnant.
Well, that is impossible.
Yeah? Two years ago, I got a vasectomy.
I mean, it is impossible, right? Yeah.
It's impossible.
But why don't you hang on to this and this.
You know? Just in case, you know? (TIMER DINGS) Mmm.
Have you seen a little monster running around here with a I know you're not about to say Nerf gun.
- I was not gonna say Nerf gun.
- Uh-huh.
I was gonna say the books that we were gonna read Hey! I told you no guns in the house! This guy, - he just - Oh! - Oh.
- I'm so sorry.
- You did not.
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Just Oh, God.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
- Riggs! - Hold on, hold on, hold on.
- Okay, h-hold on.
- Should I just - lean? - Yep.
Lean into it.
Lean into it.
(LAUGHS) Hold on.
See, that's not that bad.
- (GROANS) - Look.
(CHUCKLES) It's actually incredible.
What? Well, even when I think I've got it handled, I make another mess.
Well, maybe that's our thing.
Right? Maybe we-we make the best messes.
Who's gonna beat us? Mmm, nobody.
No one.
And I'm so sorry I couldn't speak LEO: Love is weird.
Love is complicated.
One day you're getting married at a reasonably priced hotel by the airport, and the next, you're getting hitched between felony cases before your wife takes a little vacay just a little vacay upstate.
But no matter what the day, I would follow this woman (VOICE BREAKING): to the end of the earth.
JUDGE: All right, I have a full docket.
So, if anyone objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.
(WHISPERING): Don't you dare.
So, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may escort the bride to booking.
I'm so sorry I couldn't speak So sweet.
So long, counselor.
Mi querida.
Watch her head.
Careful with the head! WOMAN: I'll see you on visiting day.
(SIREN CHIRPING) TRISH: Leo, I, uh can't believe I'm saying this, but I think you two have a - a bright future.
- (SOBS) Right, Roger? (CRYING): All right.