Life On Mars (UK) (2006) s01e04 Episode Script
Episode 4
Sam! Sam! Can you hear me? It's Mum.
Sam Sammy! - Mum? - Sammy? Ivanhoe.
Sammy? Mum?! Hello.
Do you know a little boy who lives around here called Sam Tyler? He'd be about four years old.
I'm not meant to talk to strange men.
Are you a strange man? I think I probably am, yeah.
Jane! Come here.
Excuse me? I'm just looking for - Can I help you? - Help yourself, mate.
Keep on walking.
- I'm a police officer.
- Good for you! He's been a bit of a greedy boy and I'm just reminding him of the rules.
Did you hear what I said? I said I'm a police officer.
I'm working here, now run along.
- Bugger! - Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm arresting you for assault.
You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, something which you later rely on in court.
That's not how it goes.
Big mistake, copper.
My name is Sam Tyler.
I had an accident and I woke up in 1973.
Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet.
Now maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
- All right, love.
New, is he? - Shut up.
Write down that I had nothing to do with it! - What's the charge? - Assaulting this man.
- No, he didn't! We were just wrestling.
- And resisting arrest.
Shall you tell him, darling, or shall I? Number three is empty.
- What you got, Ray? - Crisp.
Oh, bastard, he's drawn the favourite.
Here you go, boss.
Proud Percy.
Sweepstake for the Grand National on Saturday.
Can someone put some bog roll in the loo? I've just wiped my arse on Francis Lee.
- Red Rum.
- Never heard of him.
I'll swap you Red Rum for Proud Percy.
Why? Red Rum, Red Rum.
I just like his name.
You got inside information? - Guv! - What? - Charlie Edwards.
- What about him? Some prat just arrested him.
- Who is this Charlie Edwards? - An unpleasant little scrotum.
- A necessary evil.
- I don't get it.
In A Division we have a series of checks and balances.
It works very nicely until some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around.
Checks and balances? Edwards works for a local businessman, Stephen Warren.
Mr Warren enjoys cordial relationships with the police.
- He's bent? - Bent as a fish hook! But he keeps his streets spotlessly clean, no burglaries, no sex crimes, and he lets us know if unsavoury characters arrive in the city.
And what do we do in return? For a start, we don't arrest his right-hand man, OK? Mr Hunt! No need to apologise.
Just an honest mistake.
What's going on? The assault charge against Mr Edwards has been dropped.
- What about resisting arrest? - That's been dropped too.
I've left some free passes for the boys and girls, Mr Hunt, to show there's no hard feelings.
Hang on, he's my detainee.
- I say when he gets released.
- Shut it! Right, on your way and don't push it.
Of course not, Mr Hunt.
See you again, hero What are you doing tonight? - I can't believe what I've just seen.
- Cancel it.
You're having a drink with me.
- You said a quiet little pub.
- Did I? - Evening, Mr Hunt.
- Don't scratch it.
This is Warren's place, isn't it? There's no flies on you, are there? What are we doing here? Furthering your education, so you don't start a war.
I don't want anything to do with it.
You are to do with it.
Don't throw stones in my pond.
I've seen where this sort of thing leads.
And now we have to apologise.
I say "we" but I mean "you".
No chance! I've got nothing to apologise for.
# The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous He screams and he bawls Hey boss, over here! Hello! Didn't think this would be your scene.
Do you come here often? - Only when we get in free on the guest list.
- Oi, Sam! I need to talk to you about something.
A much-loved orange cat called Ivanhoe.
VIP lounge, love.
I don't think that includes off-duty slags with glitter in their hair, do you? Come on.
# sells you nutrition # And keeps all your dead hair for making up underwear # Poor little Greenie # - Bobby Charlton.
- Yeah, and Francis Lee.
Dennis Law.
Half a million pounds wouldn't buy you that lot.
- Oh, my God.
- What? - Marc Bolan.
- Who? Marc Bolan, lead singer with T-Rex.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll go and tell Warren we're here.
If God appeared in my room, obviously I'd be in awe, but I don't think I'd be humble.
- Excuse me, Mr Bolan.
- What happened to your hair, man? - I just wanted to say I'm a big fan.
- Thanks.
Sam! Listen, drive carefully, OK? Especially in Minis.
- What? - Nothing.
Listen, don't say anything stupid to Warren, OK? He keeps a lid on a lot of crap that goes on in this city, so you can get down off your Hyde high horse.
I'm still not apologising.
So you're the Caped Crusader, Mr Tyler.
I saw a man assaulting another man, and I did my job.
- He's very big on doing his job.
- I'm glad to hear it.
It was a regrettable incident.
I believe you have something to say to Detective Inspector Tyler.
Sorry about earlier, sir.
Won't happen again.
Cigar, Mr Hunt? Ta.
Please, Mr Tyler.
It won't explode.
Now, if you'll forgive us, I just want a quick word with your man here.
You, enjoy yourself.
I'll be right with you.
Keep mine warm.
# Ohh, the Jean Genie lives on his back # The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous # - So, you work for Warren, yeah? - Don't we all? # let yourself go # Oh # Go # Go # The Jean Genie lives on his back # The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous He screams and he bawls # Jean Genie, let yourself go Oh - What are we doing here? - Bit of business to sort out.
What sort of business? Some dodgy hippies have been fencing stolen electrical goods.
That's a job for CID, is it? You can stay here if you want.
Who the hell are you? Is there anything in this world more revolting than a dishonest hippy? We don't want any trouble, man.
Do you know what I'd do if I were you? Apart from wash my hair.
- What? - Pack up my shitty clothes and I'd be out of this city by daybreak.
I take it you boys have got receipts for these TVs, yeah? Er, Guv Do him! Stick him! Stick him! Stick the pig! Stick him, Royston! Ah! Stay there! It's a horrible concept, isn't it? Huge, psychotic hippies fencing stolen tellies.
- This is nothing to do with me.
- Oh, stop being such a girl.
Think of it as a tax on bad people.
- What is that, mon brave? - It's a television.
- In a pub?! - Yeah, ask the Boy Wonder here.
- It's nothing to do with me.
- Tell them what you told me.
I could make some brackets, we could put it on the wall, and watch the sport.
In a pub?! Right, large whisky for the short-haired man who saved my bacon.
You making bacon? Well done, boss.
That should keep Warren off our backs for a while.
Hang on, we just we just did that for Warren? Erm He brought their existence to our attention, let's say.
Why's he giving me this, I didn't do anything? Money for old rope then, isn't it? - I don't want anything to do with this.
- It's too late.
Now, er get the drinks in and grow up.
I've always despised bent cops.
What did you have to do for it? That's the question.
Danced with a pretty girl.
Smoked a cigar.
It's hardly Watergate, my friend.
I'm losing it, Nelson.
I'm forgetting who I am in all this madness.
I just want to go home.
Me too, Sam.
Close the door on your way out.
Come on, children! Who wants to sing with Mr Socks? Everyone wants to sing with Mr Socksey! Anne, do you want to sing? Terence! Julia! Let's all sing! Wendy! Henry! Sam! Sam! What have they done to my beautiful boy? - Mum? - Can you hear me? Can you hear what I'm saying? Sam.
Don't leave us.
- Mum? - Sing with Mr Socksey! Old iron! Old iron! Old iron! Old iron! Alfie.
Ivanhoe!? Ivanhoe, it's me, Sammy! Yes? Can I help you? Detective Inspector Bolan.
Er there's been a spate of burglaries in the area and er we're making door-to-door enquires.
Burglaries? I didn't think we had any, not around here.
Would you like to come in? You'll have to forgive me, I was doing the washing-up.
Not at all, Mrs Tyler.
- Erm would you like to go through? - Thanks.
How did you know our name? It's all in the records.
A real life detective in the house.
My son will be very impressed.
- Is he at school? - He's upstairs in his room.
Mumps.
I'm really surprised about the burglaries.
We move around a lot and this is the safest place we've ever been.
- Have you got time for a cup of tea? - Yeah.
What does your husband do? He's a salesman.
And not a very good one at the moment.
So if anyone does try and burgle us they'll be very disappointed.
That's funny.
He normally only likes me and Sammy.
I wonder if I should wake Sam up? He'll be disappointed to have missed you.
Don't wake him up.
He wants to be a policeman one day, so he says.
He will be.
Your husband? Mr Carroway, I'd really prefer it if you didn't just let yourself in.
My husband's away.
When he's back I'll mention - Is there a problem? - The mouse do play, I see.
Mr Carroway, this is Detective Inspector Bolan.
Look.
As soon as my husband's back he'll pay this month's rent Not to mention the two months before that.
There's a law against landlords letting themselves into tenanted property.
- No, there's not.
- Leave now or let's discuss it at the station.
I answer to Mr Warren.
Yeah? He won't like it, he won't like it at all.
I'll be back to get my money later, Mrs Tyler, when your friend has gone.
- Hey, hey - I'm sorry.
It's OK.
How much do you owe? Lots.
What are you doing? I won some money on cards.
I don't even know you.
Why would I take money from you? It doesn't matter, it's only money.
There's no such thing as "only", Detective Inspector.
Put your money away.
Look, there's a horse running in the Grand National.
Red Rum.
Put your house-keeping money on him.
You won't be disappointed.
Put my family's last pennies on a horse?! You know, you should meet my husband one day, you'd get along well.
I think you should go now.
I don't want anything from you.
Not in the way that you Goodbye, Detective Inspector.
Mr Tyler, what a pleasure.
Take a seat.
- What's this? - It's yours.
Really? - Where did you find it? - In my pocket.
Can't be mine, then.
Must be yours.
If you try and bribe a police officer again, I will arrest you.
Too early for a sharpener, Mr Tyler? I don't know what kind of deals you might have with other officers, but you have no deal with me.
- Is that so? - I'm going to go out of my way to way to make life as difficult for you as possible.
You're new here, son, so I'll let that pass.
Others have tried to wear the white hat, and all have failed.
I just caught one of your "landlords", harassing one of your tenants.
Don't ever let me see that again.
What's his name? I'll see that he's dealt with.
The easy days are over.
I'll be watching you.
So you say, Mr Tyler.
Show the detective inspector out.
- I'll find my own way out.
- What a clever boy.
Not too clever for your own good, I hope.
Like I said.
I'll be watching you.
- You met your mother?! - I know how it sounds.
You don't believe me, do you? - You look tired.
- What do you know about Warren? Annie? Why don't we go to the flicks or something? You can pay.
- What's on? - Something called Mean Streets or Carry On Girls.
What? How's the corned-beef hash? It's a triumph, as ever.
There's a girl in the cells asking after you.
- Who is it? - Says her name is Joni Newton? What's it about? She put a brick through Woolworths front window.
It's hardly CID that, is it? She won't speak to anyone else but you.
I'm frightened.
I'm really, really frightened.
- Frightened of who? - Stephen Warren.
Why are you frightened of him? He says he's going to kill me.
But before he does, he says he's going to - I need evidence, Joni.
- No, no way.
Help me nail him.
I can't do anything about a threat.
I'll come back when I'm dead, then, shall I? Why haven't you told the other officers this? They'd have told Warren and that would've been the end of me.
What are you implying? That everyone in this station is bent.
That's what I'm implying.
- I'll have to talk to my DCI.
- No! No! This place is infested.
You know it is.
- What do you want me to do? - I'm not safe at my place.
I'm not safe anywhere in Manchester.
Just let me stay with you tonight.
I'll put you in one of the cells overnight, you'll be safe there.
I can't take you home with me.
You've been arrested for criminal damage.
I'm a police officer.
Then behave like one! I've come to you because I'm in trouble.
If you let me out of here, I'm dead.
A friend's coming from Liverpool to pick me up in the morning and then you'll never see me again.
I promise.
I've got no one else to turn to.
Please? Please help me.
Put your coat on.
Watch yourself! Hello, Joni.
- What you doing here? - She's a friend of mine.
She's a friend of a lot of people, aren't you, darling? Not of yours, scumbag.
Does Warren know you're out? Hey, don't forget to wash your hands afterwards, sir.
- What are you doing? - Cooking.
What's that? It's a mango.
And that thing? That "thing" is a jalapeño chilli.
Isn't it easier just to open a can of baked beans? No.
Here, open some wine and shut up.
Wine? You're not your normal copper, are you? What time is your friend getting here? Five in the morning.
We'll be gone before you're awake.
Mmm.
Chicken and fruit.
I wouldn't have believed it could taste so good.
Mexican dish.
A chef in Monterrey gave me that recipe.
Where's Monterrey? - Mexico.
- You've actually been to Mexico? Were you there for the World Cup? # Back home they'll be thinking about # Tell me about Warren.
I've only been working at the club a few months.
He was really nice when I first started.
What made you want to work for a fella like that? Money, same as the rest of the world.
Go on.
I knew some of the girls did favours for him.
He'd ask them to entertain important people he wanted to impress.
- What sort of people? - Politicians, businessmen coppers.
One day he asked me to go out to dinner with some old French bloke he wanted to do business with.
- What did you say? - I said no.
- And what did he think about that? - This is delicious, Galloping Gourmet.
Joni? I said no again.
And then he got this bloke Edwards into the office.
Yeah, I've met Edwards.
Then you'll know he's disgusting.
Like a disgusting dog.
He pushed me over the desk and held my hands down.
They were laughing, and then Warren lifted up my skirt.
I couldn't see him but I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
He said if I didn't do it they'd take it in turns with me and chuck me in the canal when they were done.
It's just words, Joni.
You know, men like that like the sound of their own voice.
There was this girl who came to work at the club, Yvonne.
I liked her, she was nice to me.
She said she wanted to leave, and when she told Warren he went mad and said she couldn't.
- What happened to her? - They found her dead in the gutter.
Hit-and-run the police said.
And, what, you think he had her killed? I don't think, I know.
Everyone knew.
Help me, Sam.
If the phone goes, don't answer it.
And if the door goes don't open it.
I'll wake you early and get you and your friend to Liverpool.
Thank you, Sam.
Goodnight.
Sam? Have you got a girlfriend? - I used to have.
- Where is she? A long, long way away.
In Mexico? Even further than that.
She's probably moved on now anyway.
At least I hope she has.
Do you want to come in with me? I'm a police officer.
And you're in my care.
Wouldn't bother the others.
I'm not "the others".
It's a beautiful, wonderful life, Joni.
Too beautiful to waste dancing in a rusty cage for a man like that.
I know.
Sam? Go to sleep.
I'm sorry for all the trouble.
Go to sleep.
Sam? Sam? Can you hear me? It's Mum.
- Sam? - Mum.
Can he hear me? Can he hear what I'm saying? There's nothing to be ashamed of.
You can't be lonely all the time.
I'm sorry for all the trouble, Sam.
It works very nicely, thank you, until some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around.
Sam? Sam? Sam? Shit! Morning.
Piss off.
WPC Cartwright informed me that you weren't answering your phone.
He's in here, love.
Well, it's not all golf and badminton in Hyde then, eh? Had a few calls for you, sir.
Told them you were all tied up.
You did wash your hands, didn't you? Bad dreams, were they? I've had better.
Was Lucy there? Did she have her diamond with her? - What? - Lysergic acid diethylamide.
LSD to you.
Better be careful, boss.
That stuff lasts for hours.
Several pairs of handcuffs missing from stores.
Anyone any ideas? - I asked you to look after my detainee - Phyllis I didn't ask you to sneak her out, take her home and sleep with her.
- It wasn't like that.
- Hey, go easy on him, Phyllis.
He's just been down the Yellow Brick Road.
Where is she now? She was arrested for criminal damage.
I don't know.
His brain functions and heart rate are all up.
Racing.
It's what we'd expect from a change of medication to Pentobarbital.
Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Do you know who she works for? - What? - The girl.
Do you know who she works for? Yeah, that's why she came to see me.
Don't be a prick, Sam, and don't you go rocking the boat.
She's terrified of him.
So what? He threatened to rape her and then kill her.
Sorry, he what? He threatened to rape her and kill her.
Oh, yeah, I'm glad you find this so amusing.
You know I was the only officer in here who she trusted enough not to hand her over to Warren, so how funny is that?! A word.
Now.
Don't you bloody dare come the self-righteous prick with me! I've worked these streets since I was 19 and they're safer now than they've been in a generation.
Now, if you want to shag the inmates that's up to you but don't you dare chuck shit at me or my officers.
We're not talking about a dodgy telly.
We're talking threats of sexual violence and murder.
- You think you know it all.
- I know the stench of rotten apples.
Yeah, and I know your slag is lying through her teeth.
- And do you wanna know why? - Yeah, why? Stephen Warren is a bum bandit.
Do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer.
A queen, fudge packer, uphill gardener.
Fruit-picking sodomite! - He's gay? - As a bloody Christmas tree! He is a little touchy on the subject, being a twisted Catholic with an elderly mother, so I wouldn't go mentioning it to him.
You challenged his authority so he stitched you up like a kipper.
Pretty girl appealed to your vanity as the only decent sheriff in Dodge City, slipped you a Mickey, tied you up and bounced on your ding-a-ling.
Why? Well, I suspect the answer will lie in the post.
Photos, you idiot.
So, next time he asks you a little favour, do it otherwise your pictures will be landing on the Chief Constable's desk, And he gets a Christmas card from Mary Whitehouse.
And you'll be out of here in the time it takes to say "Red bloody Rum".
- She was a honey trap? - Bingo! You're not the first and you won't be the last.
Checks and balances, Sam.
You can't throw your weight around in our manor and expect to get away with it.
Do you mind if I sit down? Of course not, sir.
Look, I'm sorry you had to see what you saw before.
Don't flatter yourself.
There wasn't that much to see.
OK, Mean Streets or Carry On Girls? You choose, I'll pay.
I don't think so.
I can explain everything.
- You don't have to explain anything to me.
- Annie.
- I've decided something.
- What have you decided? I'm going to be a really good friend to you.
- A friend? - 'Cause with the enemies you're making, you could do with all the friends you can get.
Look after yourself, Detective Inspector Tyler.
Please? - Annie, please.
- Hey, I got to see you naked.
It's not all that bad.
# I said Goodbye to Jane, goodbye to Ja # Give us a minute.
What d'you want? - You're a real class act, aren't you? - I do what I have to do.
- Where are the photographs? - Being developed.
"Please help me.
" I'm sorry, I was just doing a job.
You have a real talent for lying.
Some of it was true.
This is a dangerous place for you, Sam.
And you shouldn't be here.
Are you lying to yourself, though? That's the question.
Think what you want.
You're a loser, Joni or whatever your name is.
Because you live in fear.
And that isn't living at all, is it? Now, I don't live in fear.
I'm alive.
# I said Goodbye # He had it coming to him.
You do not humiliate my officers! If you can't keep your people in line, I'll do it for you.
I'm the sheriff, Warren.
Don't you ever forget it! No, no, Mr Hunt, you're a bent sheriff.
Don't you ever forget that! # She's a queen See, see she's a queen # Mrs Tyler the money it must have appeared crass and insensitive to you.
And I don't think I am.
I know I'm not.
- You don't think you're what? - Crass and insensitive.
Oh.
You must have thought it was dodgy, hot.
It wasn't.
Well, it was a little bit but I gave it back.
All of it.
That's good, then.
I just wanted you to know that I'm not a bent copper.
Well, now I know.
- How is he? - He's much better, thank you.
- I'd better be going.
- Naughty men to arrest? That's right.
Goodbye, Mrs Tyler.
Goodbye, Inspector Bolan.
Inspector? I'm gonna go and buy him a treacle tart tomorrow, his favourite.
For being such a brave boy with the mumps.
With custard? - With custard.
- And leave the skin on.
You'd be very welcome to drop in, if you're passing, he'd really love to meet a real-life police officer.
Thanks.
And they're away.
- They're off - Come on Red Rum.
Come on, my son! Are those brackets really gonna hold that television? Of course they'll hold.
I worked in a DIY store in my gap year.
Your what year? - The brackets will hold.
- Come on, Crisp! Come on, Anarchy, come on! How were the chillies? Good.
Strong.
Bit too strong, I hear? - Anything in the post yet? - Not yet.
Probably having to blow it up so they can actually see something, eh? Get on, my son! Mr Tyler, someone out the back to see you.
Who is it? You deliver the photographs yourself? Very classy.
There are no photographs.
I've got the negatives.
You expect me to believe that? Even if it's true, why would you do that? I couldn't stop thinking about what you'd said.
It is a beautiful life.
At least it should be, anyway.
You know you asked me why I started working for a man like Warren? Money, I think you said.
My mum and dad used to own a successful cash-and-carry business until Warren decided he wanted it.
He started saying Dad had fiddled the books and that he'd go to the police.
And the police, as you know, are his friends.
I don't believe a word you're saying.
Yeah, you do.
My dad's dead.
They said cancer but - Then Warren turned on Mum and me.
- Joni He said if I danced at his club and was nice to his friends - If you're spinning me another line - Setting you up was my last job.
He said if I did that, he'd let me go.
But he never will, will he? He was lying to me and I was lying to myself.
I can nail him, but I need ammunition from you.
- Are you willing to testify against him? - Don't stand up to him, Sam.
He'll have you.
What will you do? Me and my mum are going on a trip, a long way away from people like him.
- Where are you going to go? - I dunno.
I hear Mexico is nice.
Red Rum! Come on! Red Rum is going to win the National.
Come on! Yeah! Red Rum, you beauty! Yes! Proud Percy fell at Beechers Brook, boss.
They had to shoot him.
Too bad.
- Who is it? - It's me.
I'm not cuffed to the bed.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Get your coat.
- What time is it? - Just get your coat.
# some things I say # Must be the way I say those things # My friends can't fýnd some things I do # Must be the way He'll get away with it.
End of story.
# I can't change # But I'm tryin' # To do right # I used to steal # I used to fall # Was I wrong? # I can't recall He might as well have slit her throat himself.
# Stolen love, all in all What did you say? # Was I wrong? # I don't recall - What did you say? - Nothing.
- Be a brave boy and tell me.
- Come on, Sam If he's got something to say I want to hear it.
If you don't play the game, people get hurt.
You didn't play the game, and she paid the price.
# she left that day # I can't change it # But I'm tryin' # My own true love is gone away # Can I say she left that day? # The moon still shines First job I had in the force, pounding the streets as a I was teamed with this bloke called Harry Outhwaite.
Fought on the beaches in Normandy, won a medal, never talked about it.
You know the sort.
Breath that could strip the fur off a badger.
Never did his paperwork but he was a legend, was Harry.
There was this gangster knocking around town in them days, made a lot of money during the war.
Had a lot of coppers and politicians in his pocket.
- Plus ça change.
- What? Go on.
I found out Harry was taking the odd backhander to look the other way.
What did you do? I did what any other shining new kid on the block would do.
Shopped him.
Everyone hated me for squealing.
You did the right thing.
Harry couldn't handle it.
Ended up hanging himself with his own belt.
A month later I took my first backhander.
How did that make you feel? Like shit.
How does it make you feel now? I try not to think about it.
I do the best that I can.
I try to look after my men and the people in my city.
But when you do think about it how does it make you feel? Like there's an animal eating away at my insides.
Fancy doing something about it? Thought you'd never ask.
- He'll have you both for this.
- My friend will ask you some questions.
I hope you don't answer them because I want you to die in here and end up inside a pork pie! Who killed Joni Newton? - Trousers! - Please Don't talk to me! Trousers! Who killed Joni Newton? Right, leave him in here.
Are you going to answer my question? Yeah, let's go.
Ah, ah, ah, leave them.
I can't tell you, he'll kill me! At least it would have been a warm death.
What the hell are you doing? Open the door.
You can't go through with this.
Let me out! How did you know Red Rum was gonna win the National? I'm gonna die in here! - Just a hunch.
- Huh.
Let me out, please! You didn't have any inside information? - A little bird in the racing fraternity? - Can you hear me? I wouldn't do that, would I? I didn't think you'd lock a murder suspect in a giant fridge.
He wouldn't answer my question.
I've got a feeling he will.
Just let me out, please! How's that little animal in your stomach? D'you know, I do believe he's sleeping.
Open! All right, all right, I'll talk! Who killed Joni Newton? She was supposed to be your honey trap.
When she didn't come through Warren went ballistic, slit her throat.
- I put her in the canal.
- Eh, eh.
Job to do, Sam.
OK? # Ahhhahhh, ahhhahhh - D'you like this music? - Yeah, I do.
Don't you? Just a lot of noise really.
Me and the wife like Roger Whittaker.
Well, more her than me.
- D'you know him? - Not intimately.
Keep it to yourself.
- We all have our guilty little secrets.
- Indeed we do.
I'm not a Catholic myself, but isn't there something about "Thou shalt not suck off rent boys"? - How dare you come in here? - You could have said that to the boy Stephen Warren, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Joni Newton.
You can't touch me, son.
I own you.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something which you may later rely on in court.
- That's not how it goes.
- One call and I'm out again.
And your life, Mr Hunt, won't be worth living.
Oh, shut up Wendy Warren, get your handbag and let's be having you.
Now what would you prefer? Out the front, cuffed, humiliated in front of your punters? Or nice and quiet out the back? - Out the back.
- That's what I thought.
# Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster Thank you.
Well, come on then, get us a drink in.
There's no way you can police a modern city without a bit of give and take.
Checks and balances? It can't work like that.
Every copper has to be whiter than white or the whole thing falls apart.
No, you're living in cloud-cuckoo-land, Sam.
Otherwise it spreads like a cancer.
Free meat from the butcher at Christmas.
You wave the paperwork through for a fella with a funny handshake.
Then one morning, you wake up and your body's riddled with it.
You're a cheerful bastard We're meant to be celebrating! You did well, Sam.
Every officer will be walking a little bit taller tomorrow because of you.
Hello? Hello? # No you won't believe in If anymore # If is for children # Building daydreams La-la-la-la-li La-la-la Sleep well, darling.
Mum's here and will always be here.
One day you'll wake up and I'll still be here.
I love you.
# If I knew then what I know now # I thought I did, you know somehow # If I could fýnd that time again # I'd take the sunshine, leave the rain # If only time would trickle slow Like rain that melts the fallen snow # If only, Lord, if only If only, Lord, if only # Oh, I don't believe in If anymore # It's an illusion # It's an illusion Referee, are you blind?! Plod found a body in Trafford Park Whoever did it, at least he had a decent motive.
- Let me go undercover? - No.
- Just one shift in the pub.
- In the pub? Do either of you two know anything about running a pub? Do you understand the concept of "undercover"? Come on, who's next? If this was about football, he would have had serious injuries.
He's dead.
That's quite serious.
Sam Sammy! - Mum? - Sammy? Ivanhoe.
Sammy? Mum?! Hello.
Do you know a little boy who lives around here called Sam Tyler? He'd be about four years old.
I'm not meant to talk to strange men.
Are you a strange man? I think I probably am, yeah.
Jane! Come here.
Excuse me? I'm just looking for - Can I help you? - Help yourself, mate.
Keep on walking.
- I'm a police officer.
- Good for you! He's been a bit of a greedy boy and I'm just reminding him of the rules.
Did you hear what I said? I said I'm a police officer.
I'm working here, now run along.
- Bugger! - Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing? I'm arresting you for assault.
You do not have to say anything but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned, something which you later rely on in court.
That's not how it goes.
Big mistake, copper.
My name is Sam Tyler.
I had an accident and I woke up in 1973.
Am I mad, in a coma, or back in time? Whatever's happened, it's like I've landed on a different planet.
Now maybe if I can work out the reason, I can get home.
- All right, love.
New, is he? - Shut up.
Write down that I had nothing to do with it! - What's the charge? - Assaulting this man.
- No, he didn't! We were just wrestling.
- And resisting arrest.
Shall you tell him, darling, or shall I? Number three is empty.
- What you got, Ray? - Crisp.
Oh, bastard, he's drawn the favourite.
Here you go, boss.
Proud Percy.
Sweepstake for the Grand National on Saturday.
Can someone put some bog roll in the loo? I've just wiped my arse on Francis Lee.
- Red Rum.
- Never heard of him.
I'll swap you Red Rum for Proud Percy.
Why? Red Rum, Red Rum.
I just like his name.
You got inside information? - Guv! - What? - Charlie Edwards.
- What about him? Some prat just arrested him.
- Who is this Charlie Edwards? - An unpleasant little scrotum.
- A necessary evil.
- I don't get it.
In A Division we have a series of checks and balances.
It works very nicely until some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around.
Checks and balances? Edwards works for a local businessman, Stephen Warren.
Mr Warren enjoys cordial relationships with the police.
- He's bent? - Bent as a fish hook! But he keeps his streets spotlessly clean, no burglaries, no sex crimes, and he lets us know if unsavoury characters arrive in the city.
And what do we do in return? For a start, we don't arrest his right-hand man, OK? Mr Hunt! No need to apologise.
Just an honest mistake.
What's going on? The assault charge against Mr Edwards has been dropped.
- What about resisting arrest? - That's been dropped too.
I've left some free passes for the boys and girls, Mr Hunt, to show there's no hard feelings.
Hang on, he's my detainee.
- I say when he gets released.
- Shut it! Right, on your way and don't push it.
Of course not, Mr Hunt.
See you again, hero What are you doing tonight? - I can't believe what I've just seen.
- Cancel it.
You're having a drink with me.
- You said a quiet little pub.
- Did I? - Evening, Mr Hunt.
- Don't scratch it.
This is Warren's place, isn't it? There's no flies on you, are there? What are we doing here? Furthering your education, so you don't start a war.
I don't want anything to do with it.
You are to do with it.
Don't throw stones in my pond.
I've seen where this sort of thing leads.
And now we have to apologise.
I say "we" but I mean "you".
No chance! I've got nothing to apologise for.
# The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous He screams and he bawls Hey boss, over here! Hello! Didn't think this would be your scene.
Do you come here often? - Only when we get in free on the guest list.
- Oi, Sam! I need to talk to you about something.
A much-loved orange cat called Ivanhoe.
VIP lounge, love.
I don't think that includes off-duty slags with glitter in their hair, do you? Come on.
# sells you nutrition # And keeps all your dead hair for making up underwear # Poor little Greenie # - Bobby Charlton.
- Yeah, and Francis Lee.
Dennis Law.
Half a million pounds wouldn't buy you that lot.
- Oh, my God.
- What? - Marc Bolan.
- Who? Marc Bolan, lead singer with T-Rex.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
I'll go and tell Warren we're here.
If God appeared in my room, obviously I'd be in awe, but I don't think I'd be humble.
- Excuse me, Mr Bolan.
- What happened to your hair, man? - I just wanted to say I'm a big fan.
- Thanks.
Sam! Listen, drive carefully, OK? Especially in Minis.
- What? - Nothing.
Listen, don't say anything stupid to Warren, OK? He keeps a lid on a lot of crap that goes on in this city, so you can get down off your Hyde high horse.
I'm still not apologising.
So you're the Caped Crusader, Mr Tyler.
I saw a man assaulting another man, and I did my job.
- He's very big on doing his job.
- I'm glad to hear it.
It was a regrettable incident.
I believe you have something to say to Detective Inspector Tyler.
Sorry about earlier, sir.
Won't happen again.
Cigar, Mr Hunt? Ta.
Please, Mr Tyler.
It won't explode.
Now, if you'll forgive us, I just want a quick word with your man here.
You, enjoy yourself.
I'll be right with you.
Keep mine warm.
# Ohh, the Jean Genie lives on his back # The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous # - So, you work for Warren, yeah? - Don't we all? # let yourself go # Oh # Go # Go # The Jean Genie lives on his back # The Jean Genie loves chimney stacks # He's outrageous He screams and he bawls # Jean Genie, let yourself go Oh - What are we doing here? - Bit of business to sort out.
What sort of business? Some dodgy hippies have been fencing stolen electrical goods.
That's a job for CID, is it? You can stay here if you want.
Who the hell are you? Is there anything in this world more revolting than a dishonest hippy? We don't want any trouble, man.
Do you know what I'd do if I were you? Apart from wash my hair.
- What? - Pack up my shitty clothes and I'd be out of this city by daybreak.
I take it you boys have got receipts for these TVs, yeah? Er, Guv Do him! Stick him! Stick him! Stick the pig! Stick him, Royston! Ah! Stay there! It's a horrible concept, isn't it? Huge, psychotic hippies fencing stolen tellies.
- This is nothing to do with me.
- Oh, stop being such a girl.
Think of it as a tax on bad people.
- What is that, mon brave? - It's a television.
- In a pub?! - Yeah, ask the Boy Wonder here.
- It's nothing to do with me.
- Tell them what you told me.
I could make some brackets, we could put it on the wall, and watch the sport.
In a pub?! Right, large whisky for the short-haired man who saved my bacon.
You making bacon? Well done, boss.
That should keep Warren off our backs for a while.
Hang on, we just we just did that for Warren? Erm He brought their existence to our attention, let's say.
Why's he giving me this, I didn't do anything? Money for old rope then, isn't it? - I don't want anything to do with this.
- It's too late.
Now, er get the drinks in and grow up.
I've always despised bent cops.
What did you have to do for it? That's the question.
Danced with a pretty girl.
Smoked a cigar.
It's hardly Watergate, my friend.
I'm losing it, Nelson.
I'm forgetting who I am in all this madness.
I just want to go home.
Me too, Sam.
Close the door on your way out.
Come on, children! Who wants to sing with Mr Socks? Everyone wants to sing with Mr Socksey! Anne, do you want to sing? Terence! Julia! Let's all sing! Wendy! Henry! Sam! Sam! What have they done to my beautiful boy? - Mum? - Can you hear me? Can you hear what I'm saying? Sam.
Don't leave us.
- Mum? - Sing with Mr Socksey! Old iron! Old iron! Old iron! Old iron! Alfie.
Ivanhoe!? Ivanhoe, it's me, Sammy! Yes? Can I help you? Detective Inspector Bolan.
Er there's been a spate of burglaries in the area and er we're making door-to-door enquires.
Burglaries? I didn't think we had any, not around here.
Would you like to come in? You'll have to forgive me, I was doing the washing-up.
Not at all, Mrs Tyler.
- Erm would you like to go through? - Thanks.
How did you know our name? It's all in the records.
A real life detective in the house.
My son will be very impressed.
- Is he at school? - He's upstairs in his room.
Mumps.
I'm really surprised about the burglaries.
We move around a lot and this is the safest place we've ever been.
- Have you got time for a cup of tea? - Yeah.
What does your husband do? He's a salesman.
And not a very good one at the moment.
So if anyone does try and burgle us they'll be very disappointed.
That's funny.
He normally only likes me and Sammy.
I wonder if I should wake Sam up? He'll be disappointed to have missed you.
Don't wake him up.
He wants to be a policeman one day, so he says.
He will be.
Your husband? Mr Carroway, I'd really prefer it if you didn't just let yourself in.
My husband's away.
When he's back I'll mention - Is there a problem? - The mouse do play, I see.
Mr Carroway, this is Detective Inspector Bolan.
Look.
As soon as my husband's back he'll pay this month's rent Not to mention the two months before that.
There's a law against landlords letting themselves into tenanted property.
- No, there's not.
- Leave now or let's discuss it at the station.
I answer to Mr Warren.
Yeah? He won't like it, he won't like it at all.
I'll be back to get my money later, Mrs Tyler, when your friend has gone.
- Hey, hey - I'm sorry.
It's OK.
How much do you owe? Lots.
What are you doing? I won some money on cards.
I don't even know you.
Why would I take money from you? It doesn't matter, it's only money.
There's no such thing as "only", Detective Inspector.
Put your money away.
Look, there's a horse running in the Grand National.
Red Rum.
Put your house-keeping money on him.
You won't be disappointed.
Put my family's last pennies on a horse?! You know, you should meet my husband one day, you'd get along well.
I think you should go now.
I don't want anything from you.
Not in the way that you Goodbye, Detective Inspector.
Mr Tyler, what a pleasure.
Take a seat.
- What's this? - It's yours.
Really? - Where did you find it? - In my pocket.
Can't be mine, then.
Must be yours.
If you try and bribe a police officer again, I will arrest you.
Too early for a sharpener, Mr Tyler? I don't know what kind of deals you might have with other officers, but you have no deal with me.
- Is that so? - I'm going to go out of my way to way to make life as difficult for you as possible.
You're new here, son, so I'll let that pass.
Others have tried to wear the white hat, and all have failed.
I just caught one of your "landlords", harassing one of your tenants.
Don't ever let me see that again.
What's his name? I'll see that he's dealt with.
The easy days are over.
I'll be watching you.
So you say, Mr Tyler.
Show the detective inspector out.
- I'll find my own way out.
- What a clever boy.
Not too clever for your own good, I hope.
Like I said.
I'll be watching you.
- You met your mother?! - I know how it sounds.
You don't believe me, do you? - You look tired.
- What do you know about Warren? Annie? Why don't we go to the flicks or something? You can pay.
- What's on? - Something called Mean Streets or Carry On Girls.
What? How's the corned-beef hash? It's a triumph, as ever.
There's a girl in the cells asking after you.
- Who is it? - Says her name is Joni Newton? What's it about? She put a brick through Woolworths front window.
It's hardly CID that, is it? She won't speak to anyone else but you.
I'm frightened.
I'm really, really frightened.
- Frightened of who? - Stephen Warren.
Why are you frightened of him? He says he's going to kill me.
But before he does, he says he's going to - I need evidence, Joni.
- No, no way.
Help me nail him.
I can't do anything about a threat.
I'll come back when I'm dead, then, shall I? Why haven't you told the other officers this? They'd have told Warren and that would've been the end of me.
What are you implying? That everyone in this station is bent.
That's what I'm implying.
- I'll have to talk to my DCI.
- No! No! This place is infested.
You know it is.
- What do you want me to do? - I'm not safe at my place.
I'm not safe anywhere in Manchester.
Just let me stay with you tonight.
I'll put you in one of the cells overnight, you'll be safe there.
I can't take you home with me.
You've been arrested for criminal damage.
I'm a police officer.
Then behave like one! I've come to you because I'm in trouble.
If you let me out of here, I'm dead.
A friend's coming from Liverpool to pick me up in the morning and then you'll never see me again.
I promise.
I've got no one else to turn to.
Please? Please help me.
Put your coat on.
Watch yourself! Hello, Joni.
- What you doing here? - She's a friend of mine.
She's a friend of a lot of people, aren't you, darling? Not of yours, scumbag.
Does Warren know you're out? Hey, don't forget to wash your hands afterwards, sir.
- What are you doing? - Cooking.
What's that? It's a mango.
And that thing? That "thing" is a jalapeño chilli.
Isn't it easier just to open a can of baked beans? No.
Here, open some wine and shut up.
Wine? You're not your normal copper, are you? What time is your friend getting here? Five in the morning.
We'll be gone before you're awake.
Mmm.
Chicken and fruit.
I wouldn't have believed it could taste so good.
Mexican dish.
A chef in Monterrey gave me that recipe.
Where's Monterrey? - Mexico.
- You've actually been to Mexico? Were you there for the World Cup? # Back home they'll be thinking about # Tell me about Warren.
I've only been working at the club a few months.
He was really nice when I first started.
What made you want to work for a fella like that? Money, same as the rest of the world.
Go on.
I knew some of the girls did favours for him.
He'd ask them to entertain important people he wanted to impress.
- What sort of people? - Politicians, businessmen coppers.
One day he asked me to go out to dinner with some old French bloke he wanted to do business with.
- What did you say? - I said no.
- And what did he think about that? - This is delicious, Galloping Gourmet.
Joni? I said no again.
And then he got this bloke Edwards into the office.
Yeah, I've met Edwards.
Then you'll know he's disgusting.
Like a disgusting dog.
He pushed me over the desk and held my hands down.
They were laughing, and then Warren lifted up my skirt.
I couldn't see him but I could feel his breath on the back of my neck.
He said if I didn't do it they'd take it in turns with me and chuck me in the canal when they were done.
It's just words, Joni.
You know, men like that like the sound of their own voice.
There was this girl who came to work at the club, Yvonne.
I liked her, she was nice to me.
She said she wanted to leave, and when she told Warren he went mad and said she couldn't.
- What happened to her? - They found her dead in the gutter.
Hit-and-run the police said.
And, what, you think he had her killed? I don't think, I know.
Everyone knew.
Help me, Sam.
If the phone goes, don't answer it.
And if the door goes don't open it.
I'll wake you early and get you and your friend to Liverpool.
Thank you, Sam.
Goodnight.
Sam? Have you got a girlfriend? - I used to have.
- Where is she? A long, long way away.
In Mexico? Even further than that.
She's probably moved on now anyway.
At least I hope she has.
Do you want to come in with me? I'm a police officer.
And you're in my care.
Wouldn't bother the others.
I'm not "the others".
It's a beautiful, wonderful life, Joni.
Too beautiful to waste dancing in a rusty cage for a man like that.
I know.
Sam? Go to sleep.
I'm sorry for all the trouble.
Go to sleep.
Sam? Sam? Can you hear me? It's Mum.
- Sam? - Mum.
Can he hear me? Can he hear what I'm saying? There's nothing to be ashamed of.
You can't be lonely all the time.
I'm sorry for all the trouble, Sam.
It works very nicely, thank you, until some dill from the suburbs starts waving his willy around.
Sam? Sam? Sam? Shit! Morning.
Piss off.
WPC Cartwright informed me that you weren't answering your phone.
He's in here, love.
Well, it's not all golf and badminton in Hyde then, eh? Had a few calls for you, sir.
Told them you were all tied up.
You did wash your hands, didn't you? Bad dreams, were they? I've had better.
Was Lucy there? Did she have her diamond with her? - What? - Lysergic acid diethylamide.
LSD to you.
Better be careful, boss.
That stuff lasts for hours.
Several pairs of handcuffs missing from stores.
Anyone any ideas? - I asked you to look after my detainee - Phyllis I didn't ask you to sneak her out, take her home and sleep with her.
- It wasn't like that.
- Hey, go easy on him, Phyllis.
He's just been down the Yellow Brick Road.
Where is she now? She was arrested for criminal damage.
I don't know.
His brain functions and heart rate are all up.
Racing.
It's what we'd expect from a change of medication to Pentobarbital.
Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Do you know who she works for? - What? - The girl.
Do you know who she works for? Yeah, that's why she came to see me.
Don't be a prick, Sam, and don't you go rocking the boat.
She's terrified of him.
So what? He threatened to rape her and then kill her.
Sorry, he what? He threatened to rape her and kill her.
Oh, yeah, I'm glad you find this so amusing.
You know I was the only officer in here who she trusted enough not to hand her over to Warren, so how funny is that?! A word.
Now.
Don't you bloody dare come the self-righteous prick with me! I've worked these streets since I was 19 and they're safer now than they've been in a generation.
Now, if you want to shag the inmates that's up to you but don't you dare chuck shit at me or my officers.
We're not talking about a dodgy telly.
We're talking threats of sexual violence and murder.
- You think you know it all.
- I know the stench of rotten apples.
Yeah, and I know your slag is lying through her teeth.
- And do you wanna know why? - Yeah, why? Stephen Warren is a bum bandit.
Do you understand? A poof, a fairy, a queer.
A queen, fudge packer, uphill gardener.
Fruit-picking sodomite! - He's gay? - As a bloody Christmas tree! He is a little touchy on the subject, being a twisted Catholic with an elderly mother, so I wouldn't go mentioning it to him.
You challenged his authority so he stitched you up like a kipper.
Pretty girl appealed to your vanity as the only decent sheriff in Dodge City, slipped you a Mickey, tied you up and bounced on your ding-a-ling.
Why? Well, I suspect the answer will lie in the post.
Photos, you idiot.
So, next time he asks you a little favour, do it otherwise your pictures will be landing on the Chief Constable's desk, And he gets a Christmas card from Mary Whitehouse.
And you'll be out of here in the time it takes to say "Red bloody Rum".
- She was a honey trap? - Bingo! You're not the first and you won't be the last.
Checks and balances, Sam.
You can't throw your weight around in our manor and expect to get away with it.
Do you mind if I sit down? Of course not, sir.
Look, I'm sorry you had to see what you saw before.
Don't flatter yourself.
There wasn't that much to see.
OK, Mean Streets or Carry On Girls? You choose, I'll pay.
I don't think so.
I can explain everything.
- You don't have to explain anything to me.
- Annie.
- I've decided something.
- What have you decided? I'm going to be a really good friend to you.
- A friend? - 'Cause with the enemies you're making, you could do with all the friends you can get.
Look after yourself, Detective Inspector Tyler.
Please? - Annie, please.
- Hey, I got to see you naked.
It's not all that bad.
# I said Goodbye to Jane, goodbye to Ja # Give us a minute.
What d'you want? - You're a real class act, aren't you? - I do what I have to do.
- Where are the photographs? - Being developed.
"Please help me.
" I'm sorry, I was just doing a job.
You have a real talent for lying.
Some of it was true.
This is a dangerous place for you, Sam.
And you shouldn't be here.
Are you lying to yourself, though? That's the question.
Think what you want.
You're a loser, Joni or whatever your name is.
Because you live in fear.
And that isn't living at all, is it? Now, I don't live in fear.
I'm alive.
# I said Goodbye # He had it coming to him.
You do not humiliate my officers! If you can't keep your people in line, I'll do it for you.
I'm the sheriff, Warren.
Don't you ever forget it! No, no, Mr Hunt, you're a bent sheriff.
Don't you ever forget that! # She's a queen See, see she's a queen # Mrs Tyler the money it must have appeared crass and insensitive to you.
And I don't think I am.
I know I'm not.
- You don't think you're what? - Crass and insensitive.
Oh.
You must have thought it was dodgy, hot.
It wasn't.
Well, it was a little bit but I gave it back.
All of it.
That's good, then.
I just wanted you to know that I'm not a bent copper.
Well, now I know.
- How is he? - He's much better, thank you.
- I'd better be going.
- Naughty men to arrest? That's right.
Goodbye, Mrs Tyler.
Goodbye, Inspector Bolan.
Inspector? I'm gonna go and buy him a treacle tart tomorrow, his favourite.
For being such a brave boy with the mumps.
With custard? - With custard.
- And leave the skin on.
You'd be very welcome to drop in, if you're passing, he'd really love to meet a real-life police officer.
Thanks.
And they're away.
- They're off - Come on Red Rum.
Come on, my son! Are those brackets really gonna hold that television? Of course they'll hold.
I worked in a DIY store in my gap year.
Your what year? - The brackets will hold.
- Come on, Crisp! Come on, Anarchy, come on! How were the chillies? Good.
Strong.
Bit too strong, I hear? - Anything in the post yet? - Not yet.
Probably having to blow it up so they can actually see something, eh? Get on, my son! Mr Tyler, someone out the back to see you.
Who is it? You deliver the photographs yourself? Very classy.
There are no photographs.
I've got the negatives.
You expect me to believe that? Even if it's true, why would you do that? I couldn't stop thinking about what you'd said.
It is a beautiful life.
At least it should be, anyway.
You know you asked me why I started working for a man like Warren? Money, I think you said.
My mum and dad used to own a successful cash-and-carry business until Warren decided he wanted it.
He started saying Dad had fiddled the books and that he'd go to the police.
And the police, as you know, are his friends.
I don't believe a word you're saying.
Yeah, you do.
My dad's dead.
They said cancer but - Then Warren turned on Mum and me.
- Joni He said if I danced at his club and was nice to his friends - If you're spinning me another line - Setting you up was my last job.
He said if I did that, he'd let me go.
But he never will, will he? He was lying to me and I was lying to myself.
I can nail him, but I need ammunition from you.
- Are you willing to testify against him? - Don't stand up to him, Sam.
He'll have you.
What will you do? Me and my mum are going on a trip, a long way away from people like him.
- Where are you going to go? - I dunno.
I hear Mexico is nice.
Red Rum! Come on! Red Rum is going to win the National.
Come on! Yeah! Red Rum, you beauty! Yes! Proud Percy fell at Beechers Brook, boss.
They had to shoot him.
Too bad.
- Who is it? - It's me.
I'm not cuffed to the bed.
Sorry to disappoint you.
Get your coat.
- What time is it? - Just get your coat.
# some things I say # Must be the way I say those things # My friends can't fýnd some things I do # Must be the way He'll get away with it.
End of story.
# I can't change # But I'm tryin' # To do right # I used to steal # I used to fall # Was I wrong? # I can't recall He might as well have slit her throat himself.
# Stolen love, all in all What did you say? # Was I wrong? # I don't recall - What did you say? - Nothing.
- Be a brave boy and tell me.
- Come on, Sam If he's got something to say I want to hear it.
If you don't play the game, people get hurt.
You didn't play the game, and she paid the price.
# she left that day # I can't change it # But I'm tryin' # My own true love is gone away # Can I say she left that day? # The moon still shines First job I had in the force, pounding the streets as a I was teamed with this bloke called Harry Outhwaite.
Fought on the beaches in Normandy, won a medal, never talked about it.
You know the sort.
Breath that could strip the fur off a badger.
Never did his paperwork but he was a legend, was Harry.
There was this gangster knocking around town in them days, made a lot of money during the war.
Had a lot of coppers and politicians in his pocket.
- Plus ça change.
- What? Go on.
I found out Harry was taking the odd backhander to look the other way.
What did you do? I did what any other shining new kid on the block would do.
Shopped him.
Everyone hated me for squealing.
You did the right thing.
Harry couldn't handle it.
Ended up hanging himself with his own belt.
A month later I took my first backhander.
How did that make you feel? Like shit.
How does it make you feel now? I try not to think about it.
I do the best that I can.
I try to look after my men and the people in my city.
But when you do think about it how does it make you feel? Like there's an animal eating away at my insides.
Fancy doing something about it? Thought you'd never ask.
- He'll have you both for this.
- My friend will ask you some questions.
I hope you don't answer them because I want you to die in here and end up inside a pork pie! Who killed Joni Newton? - Trousers! - Please Don't talk to me! Trousers! Who killed Joni Newton? Right, leave him in here.
Are you going to answer my question? Yeah, let's go.
Ah, ah, ah, leave them.
I can't tell you, he'll kill me! At least it would have been a warm death.
What the hell are you doing? Open the door.
You can't go through with this.
Let me out! How did you know Red Rum was gonna win the National? I'm gonna die in here! - Just a hunch.
- Huh.
Let me out, please! You didn't have any inside information? - A little bird in the racing fraternity? - Can you hear me? I wouldn't do that, would I? I didn't think you'd lock a murder suspect in a giant fridge.
He wouldn't answer my question.
I've got a feeling he will.
Just let me out, please! How's that little animal in your stomach? D'you know, I do believe he's sleeping.
Open! All right, all right, I'll talk! Who killed Joni Newton? She was supposed to be your honey trap.
When she didn't come through Warren went ballistic, slit her throat.
- I put her in the canal.
- Eh, eh.
Job to do, Sam.
OK? # Ahhhahhh, ahhhahhh - D'you like this music? - Yeah, I do.
Don't you? Just a lot of noise really.
Me and the wife like Roger Whittaker.
Well, more her than me.
- D'you know him? - Not intimately.
Keep it to yourself.
- We all have our guilty little secrets.
- Indeed we do.
I'm not a Catholic myself, but isn't there something about "Thou shalt not suck off rent boys"? - How dare you come in here? - You could have said that to the boy Stephen Warren, I'm arresting you on suspicion of the murder of Joni Newton.
You can't touch me, son.
I own you.
You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention something which you may later rely on in court.
- That's not how it goes.
- One call and I'm out again.
And your life, Mr Hunt, won't be worth living.
Oh, shut up Wendy Warren, get your handbag and let's be having you.
Now what would you prefer? Out the front, cuffed, humiliated in front of your punters? Or nice and quiet out the back? - Out the back.
- That's what I thought.
# Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster # Aaaaaaah Buster, buster, blockbuster Thank you.
Well, come on then, get us a drink in.
There's no way you can police a modern city without a bit of give and take.
Checks and balances? It can't work like that.
Every copper has to be whiter than white or the whole thing falls apart.
No, you're living in cloud-cuckoo-land, Sam.
Otherwise it spreads like a cancer.
Free meat from the butcher at Christmas.
You wave the paperwork through for a fella with a funny handshake.
Then one morning, you wake up and your body's riddled with it.
You're a cheerful bastard We're meant to be celebrating! You did well, Sam.
Every officer will be walking a little bit taller tomorrow because of you.
Hello? Hello? # No you won't believe in If anymore # If is for children # Building daydreams La-la-la-la-li La-la-la Sleep well, darling.
Mum's here and will always be here.
One day you'll wake up and I'll still be here.
I love you.
# If I knew then what I know now # I thought I did, you know somehow # If I could fýnd that time again # I'd take the sunshine, leave the rain # If only time would trickle slow Like rain that melts the fallen snow # If only, Lord, if only If only, Lord, if only # Oh, I don't believe in If anymore # It's an illusion # It's an illusion Referee, are you blind?! Plod found a body in Trafford Park Whoever did it, at least he had a decent motive.
- Let me go undercover? - No.
- Just one shift in the pub.
- In the pub? Do either of you two know anything about running a pub? Do you understand the concept of "undercover"? Come on, who's next? If this was about football, he would have had serious injuries.
He's dead.
That's quite serious.