Lilyhammer (2011) s01e01 Episode Script

Reality Check

(PRAYING) (INAUDIBLE) Things will never be the same without him, huh? No.
Our people I know they don't get along that good.
They'll be okay.
Frankie.
I know you don't like me because the commission passed you over.
You being my brother's underboss, you think you should have been the next in line.
I understand that.
As a matter of fact, I like you, Aldo.
You're just not qualified to be a boss.
You're a bean counter.
You belong on Wall Street, not with us.
What are you trying to say? Everything's money with you, Aldo.
You got no respect for our thing.
You got no soul.
That's why your brother, Sally Boy, rest in peace, never gave you more than his taxes to do every year.
Yeah? Well, I'm the boss now.
And you better make sure your people keep in line.
Don't worry about my people.
But you better worry about yours.
Yeah.
Hey, boss.
Jimmy, what do you hear, what do you say? Couple of those FBI guys were in here.
They left a card.
- Oh, yeah? - Golf buddies of yours? (MOCKING) They're trying to convince me my life's in danger.
JIMMY: You? You're the only guy I know whose life isn't in danger.
And everybody know, everybody loves Frankie the Fixer.
Tell me about it.
(DOOR SLAMS) (gun COCKS) (dog YELPS) (EXHALES ANGRILY) FRANK: I'm gonna give you the cocksucker, but I got some demands.
For starters, I don't want to relocate in the US.
It ain't safe around here no more.
What are you thinking? Sun bed in the Bahamas? Nah.
Melanoma's for the old school wiseguys.
I'm thinking Lilyhammer.
Lily what? SOKOLOWSKY: I think it's in Sweden.
Close enough.
HENRY: Why the fuck would you want to go there? Didn't you see the Olympics in '94? It was beautiful.
Clean air, fresh white snow, gorgeous broads, and best of all, nobody but nobody's gonna be looking for me there.
Listen, you give us Aldo Delucci and we'll send you to the goddamn North Pole.
You got a deal.
WOMAN: (ON RADIO) Just minutes ago, the District Attorney's prime witness, former underboss Frank "The Fixer" Tagliano, gave a shattering testimony against his boss, Aldo Delucci.
Inside sources say Tagliano is the last person anyone would have expected to testify.
MAN: Now, sports with Mike Mitchell Look, here's the file to your new identity.
And the address to your new house.
We had to give you a backstory with a Norwegian father.
From now on, you're Giovanni Henriksen.
You're a restaurant owner with no criminal record.
(STAMMERS) Hangrinsen? You couldn't find a more complicated name? If you get into any, and I mean any trouble with the police, you are on your own.
Don't worry about a thing.
I'm a brand-new guy over here.
Yeah, right.
(WOMAN SPEAKING NORWEGIAN ON HEADPHONES) Hello.
How are you? I am fine.
How about you? Hi.
My name is Kari.
What is your name? Chapter Nine.
Shopping.
Sorry, we are sold out of bread.
That's okay.
(PEOPLE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO) MAN 1: (IN NORWEGIAN) Not so good-looking? MAN 2: (IN NORWEGIAN) She was at least thirty years old.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Could you please turn it down? MAN 1: Like this? (INCREASES VOLUME ON STEREO) OLD MAN: Please turn it off.
MAN 1: Jerk! Give me my cap back.
Give me my cap back.
Do I have your attention? Just nod.
Yeah.
This is what happens next, you're gonna go out there, you're gonna give the man his hat back, and you're gonna shut that shit off.
Yes? Here's your fucking hanky.
Go do the right thing.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) (IN NORWEGIAN) Turn the music off.
(MUSIC STOPS) Sorry.
Okay? Okay.
Shut up.
(IN NORWEGIAN) So, straight to the asylum reception center, I take it? Excuse me? Oh, you don't speak Norwegian? Uh, just a little bit.
I just thought you looked a little Arab.
little Arabish in the face.
Well, I'm an American.
(IN NORWEGIAN) An American? What the hell are you doing in Lillehammer? (LAUGHING) Tell you the truth, I fell in love with your Olympics.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Ah, those were the days! I wasn't sober until February 1995.
sober until one year after.
(m NORWEGIAN) Okay.
- That place? - Yep.
(IN NORWEGIAN) So, that'll be 273 kroner.
Are you sure that's the house? (IN NORWEGIAN) This is it.
Here you go.
Keep the change, all right? Shit, thanks a lot.
This one's for you, Lily.
(MAN SPEAKING NORWEGIAN ON TV) What makes a person seek solitude? The answer can be found in (ALARM BEEPING) (MAN SPEAKING NORWEGIAN ON RADIO) and again there has been an unwanted guest in the Lillehammer area.
The wolf was sighted yesterday (ALARM STOPS) (SHUDDERING) (IN NORWEGIAN) How are you? How are you? (IN NORWEGIAN) There it is! FRANK: Excuse me? It is my sheep head.
It must have fallen out of the bag.
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
head It's my dinner.
You're gonna eat this? Oh, yeah.
It's very good.
(FRANK CHUCKLING) For a minute there, I thought I was going to have to give Johnny Fontane a movie part.
(CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) Okay You must be the new neighbor.
Laila Hovland.
Hi.
Giovanni Hankrensen.
Hankrensen? Is that Indian or (STAMMERING) No, it's Henriksen.
My father was Norwegian.
(IN NORWEGIAN) He was Norwegian.
(IN NORWEGIAN) So you understand Norwegian? (LAILA LAUGHING) Johnny.
Oh, you're in the postal service, huh? I'm chief of police.
(IN NORWEGIAN) You'll sleep safely here.
(IN NORWEGIAN) See you, Johnny! Okay (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) What the fuck? Fuckin' amateurs.
(BABY CRYING) How're you doing? JAN: Giovanni Henriksen? Yes.
(CHUCKLING) So, you lived in New York all your life, huh? That's right.
(SINGING) Start spreading the news I was there once, you know.
The Big Apple.
That's good.
And you have some background from the restaurant business? Yeah.
(IN NORWEGIAN) There are not many jobs available now.
There's not very much here A delivery job at Dolly Dimple's.
I had a very successful bar in New York, you know.
Sol know all about it.
I just need you to make a few moves so I can get a local license, that's all.
(LAUGHS) (IN NORWEGIAN) We need to have a reality check.
some reality check here, you know? To start a bar is a very complicated process.
Oh? Complications.
That's what you call it here? Same thing where I come from.
I brought a little something for that purpose.
Take care of whoever you gotta take care of.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Excuse me, but are you attempting to bribe a public official? can wet their beak a little bit.
Do you want me to call the police? - What? - Should I pick up the phone and call the police? Easy, take it easy.
All right, maybe you do things differently here.
I apologize.
Okay.
Maybe we should put this on the account for cultural differences? Cultural differences.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I think we'll start by enrolling you on a job-seeker course.
Starts Friday.
You turn up there with a slightly more humble attitude, and we'll start afresh.
Okay, okay, blank sheets.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Take this one with you and read it.
See you on Friday.
- Thank you.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) Bye.
(WOMAN SPEAKING NORWEGIAN ON HEADPHONES) Hello.
How are you? Fine.
And you? I have new mittens.
How about you? What the fuck? Little lamb, what are you doing out here by yourself? All right.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
- (SHEEP BLEATING) - Where you going? Come here! Oh! (MAN SPEAKING NORWEGIAN ON TV) But in languages, not only linguistics and research are important.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Do you think the wolf killed my sheep? (IN NORWEGIAN) No, Jonas, don't think like that.
Everything will be fine.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I couldn't see any footprints of predators.
SIGRID: Dad? Do you know anyone who drives an electric car? (IN NORWEGIAN) Do you need any help? (IN NORWEGIAN) Come, come.
Put that away.
road and I'm looking for the owner.
SIGRID: It is an escaped sheep.
- Hi, I'm Sigrid.
- Oh, hi.
said hello on the train.
Yeah, yeah.
Giovanni.
Call me Johnny.
SIGRID: (IN NORWEGIAN) Now you are happy, Jonas.
(SIGRID LAUGHS) You Thanks a lot for finding her.
My pleasure.
I got lucky.
That's a nice kid you got there.
Father around? I'd like to meet him.
Uh Oh? Well, small town.
Maybe we'll run into each other again, you know? - Yeah.
- Have a little coffee.
Okay.
Thank you.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hello.
Nice that so many could come.
Eight people.
Very good.
Today we are going to have a look at some forms.
You are disturbing us.
What Giovanni is doing here, is breaking the first rule of the workplace, namely, being punctual.
So, I see there are some regulars here.
That's always nice.
Hi, Maria.
Those among you who were at the motivation seminar held at my cabin last year know that I am a fishing enthusiast.
And what I usually say is that getting a job is like fishing.
You have to put the line out to catch something.
(LAUGHS) It's time for you to meet a friend of mine.
Arne.
Today, Arne is your employer.
And you are going to a job interview.
"Am Don't disturb me.
"Sorry.
" Any volunteers? Does anyone want to Giovanni? it a shot.
Come on! Yes, please.
Thank you.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Hi, Giovanni.
Why, exactly should we choose you? you or talk to the dummy? (IN NORWEGIAN) Talk to Arne.
What are your strong qualities? I'd say observation's one of my finer qualities.
Observing you, I'd say you look a little stiff.
(ALL LAUGHING) (IN NORWEGIAN) You can't have a little fun.
Let's take a little break.
Giovanni, could I have two minutes? (IN NORWEGIAN) I'm going to transfer you over to a course called Fresh Start.
It's a six-months daily course for immigrants that struggle to adapt to Norwegian society.
Six months? You gotta be joking.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I never joke when it comes to integration, Giovanni.
You need this.
minute, are you telling me I gotta spend half a year learning how to be a fucking immigrant? (IN NORWEGIAN) You would perhaps rather have me call the police.
me to call the police, then? And tell them about the bribe? Okay.
(SIGHS) Hey, mister.
Mister.
Do you want to come for a beer? (IN NORWEGIAN) A Friday beer? With us? No, thanks.
I gotta pass.
It's a big TV night.
Sure, okay.
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) On second thought, one drink.
What the hell.
- Sure.
Okay.
- Yeah.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I get 340 kroners a day from NAV to manage.
How are you going to manage on that? kroners per day from NAV.
(IN NORWEGIAN) That is going to cover your cell phone and electricity bills and food expenses.
(IN NORWEGIAN) You don't have any food expenses.
You know you eat at home every day.
(STAMMERS) lam talking about the principle.
How can you manage on 340 kroner a day? I am talking about the system.
(IN NORWEGIAN) We haven't ordered anything.
From that table.
ROAR: You sit here and drink beer every day.
TORGEIR: The system is fucked.
Shut up.
Let's throw some darts.
I am not so good at dart.
(IN NORWEGIAN) What is it called? No, no thanks.
I'll stay here and hold the table.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Okay.
Wait for me.
I'll take the first round.
Please.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Thank you for the champagne.
Oh, my pleasure.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Are you together with friends? You don't take It's my turn now.
Friends More like business associates.
kind of business is that? (IN NORWEGIAN) Torgeir gets money from NAV.
It's that obvious? I'm not gonna be at NAV too long, just getting some information.
I'm opening a nightclub, actually.
Yeah.
And you? What do you do? I'm a teacher, you know, a Norwegian teacher.
I used to work in Oslo, but now I hope to get a job here.
But it's not so easy in this county.
So, we'll see.
Well, there's a lot of new foreigners in town, so maybe they'll be hiring soon.
(CHUCKLES) To teachers.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Yeah.
Cheers.
Oh! (TORGEIR LAUGHING) Excuse me? Two beer.
Nice place you got here.
I used to be in the bar business myself.
Well, if ya want it, I'll give ya a good price.
I've had enough of the tax man and freezing temperatures.
We should talk.
A hundred and fifty.
A hundred and fifty? (IN NORWEGIAN) That's what it costs.
Sorry, I have to go.
Something just happened.
There's been a wolf on the farm.
- I'll take you.
- Are you sure? Yeah.
Keep it.
(SHEEP GROANING) SIGRID: Oh! - (IN NORWEGIAN) It was the wolf.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) I know.
We're gonna get that wolf.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I promise.
SIGRID: Come on, let's go inside.
You'd better turn away, you being a city boy.
ROAR: (IN NORWEGIAN) The wolves are too bad.
What good are they? We've got trackers and shotguns over at our place if you need them.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Didn't you two shoot one of the mayor's goats last time you went after a wolf? - That was an accidental shot.
- That was an accidental shot.
- I've told you that before.
- You bloody well know it was.
Why are we sitting around talking when we should be out killing this fucking thing? (IN NORWEGIAN) In this country killing a wolf is worse than killing people.
What are we waiting for? I'm telling you right now, I'm not gonna - (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - SIGRID: Come in.
Good evening.
I heard about the wolf and just wanted to make sure everything was all right.
There wouldn't be anyone thinking of doing anything rash here? I think perhaps I'll look after this a couple of days.
Excuse me, but aren't people allowed to defend their own homes in this country? killing of wild animals is strictly forbidden in Norway.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I take it we're all fully aware of that.
Could I have a waffle? Of course, help yourself! Thank you, Sigrid.
You're welcome.
Have a nice evening! Sorry, Lily.
(dog BARKING) So, you guys really know how to find this wolf or what? (IN NORWEGIAN) What do you think you're gonna do to it? Is he gonna back up over it in the lawn mower? We're in, but Maybe it's a bit dark now.
It's damn cold.
Yeah, it's real cold.
Oh, I see.
What do you mean, "I see"? You talk real big, but when it comes down to it, you're chicken.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Is he calling us "chicken"? (SPITS) FRANK: Is this really necessary? (IN NORWEGIAN) You can't be wandering about the woods in patent leather shoes.
(TORGEIR AND ROAR CHUCKLING) There's something wrong with these things! Did I see some snowshoes in the barn? (BEEPING) (IN NORWEGIAN) The wolf appears to be further north.
Are you sure this is a good idea? You heard what the police chief said.
The police chief? She's home in bed by now.
I'm just a bit worried about striking out off the track with our new countryman back there.
Since when did you become such a pussy? (SPITS) Come on.
(BEEPING STEADILY) Check out the tracker! Is he close by or what? You are getting better at it.
(LAUGHS) You fat fuck, you.
(IN NORWEGIAN) These are really fresh.
(COUGHS) (WOLF HOWLING) have been in the Bahamas, Fort Lauderdale.
No.
I gotta go to a place where if your dick freezes off, you don't even notice it for three days.
I'm telling ya (DEVICE CONTINUES BEEPING STEADILY) (DEVICE BEEPING FASTER) (RUSTLING) (ROAR SCREAMS) ROAR: What the hell! (GROANING) Fuck! Sorry! I didn't see you! I'm blacking out! Wait! Sorry, fuck! You hit a main artery.
(GUNSHOT IN THE DISTANCE) What's happening? Never mind that.
I'm dying here, you fucking idiot.
Bandage me! You shot me! It just grazed you.
You'll be fine.
- It really hurts.
- It just grazed you.
Here.
You shot me, idiot! Do something! We just have to stop the little that comes out.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Misfire.
But it's all right.
you guys were playing cowboys and Indians.
(m NORWEGIAN) Holy shit! TORGEIR: Fuck! (LAUGHS) One more rock should do it, huh? Shh! (WHISPERING) What was that? (WHISPERING) Probably just a deer or something.
MAN: (IN NORWEGIAN) Hello? Anybody there? FRANK: We gotta get out of these woods! (IN NORWEGIAN) I can't walk home on this leg.
to go fishing with NAV here.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Johansen's cabin.
I think it's in that area.
We can spend the night there.
MAN: What are you doing? (ROAR GRUNTING) TORGEIR: Where the hell is the key? (SHUDDERING) Fuck! I found it.
TORGEIR: I know what we need now.
- Do you have it? - Yes.
That's a good idea.
There's booze in that.
That's some Norwegian cuisine I could learn to love.
Mmm.
(m NORWEGIAN) I'm hungry.
You should call room service.
What did you do back in the States? I had a restaurant, a little bar.
(IN NORWEGIAN) You seem to know a lot about guns and (IN NORWEGIAN) and pistols, for just a restaurant guy.
You kiddin'? You ever seen the Cooking Channel? It can get pretty rough.
What the hell? Any naked ladies? Yeah.
(ROAR LAUGHS) Johansen.
TORGEIR: Look at him! Holy shit! Look at this.
(BOTH LAUGHING) She can't be more than 15, 16 years old.
I've driven her and her mom to school several times.
He works for the county.
That's interesting.
- I am getting sick.
- TORGEIR: Look at him! I am shocked! This is serious business.
He works for the county.
Roar.
Be cool, okay? Follow my lead.
Oh, hello.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Well, been on a long trip? Just out enjoying your lovely scenery.
We've had a report about illegal hunting in this area.
(IN NORWEGIAN) Wow! Illegal hunting We have a witness.
Supervisor Antonsen.
He saw illegal hunting in the Mesna hills yesterday.
If you have something to say it would be wise to do it now.
(IN NORWEGIAN) We were to say because we didn't see anything.
Did you see these guys yesterday? No.
No? The ones I saw were younger fellas.
LAILA: But you said you saw the Lien brothers.
ANTONSEN: My eyesight clearly isn't as good as it used to be.
LAILA: Isn't it, now? The ones I saw must have been some youths from Oslo.
Youths from Oslo are the worst.
cleared up that little misunderstanding, why don't we all go inside and have a drink? Thank you, but we'd better be off Always good to help the authorities.
Especially when they're neighbors.
(FRANK CHUCKLES) How ya doin'? (IN NORWEGIAN) I don't think we have an appointment today.
(IN NORWEGIAN) If you think you can come charging in here with more bribes that's my appointment.
(IN NORWEGIAN) What's this? But, how have you got hold of these? is, what am I gonna do with them? Is this blackmail? Definitely.
Where I come from, these kind of pictures could be a problem for a public official, (MOCKING) but maybe that's just cultural differences.
Could be a problem here as well.
Absolutely.
Okay.
So, how about I make the pictures disappear and you do a little something for me.
Is this about the New Start course? I can get you off, it's no problem.
Nah.
I wanna take that course and this is gonna be my teacher.
(IN NORWEGIAN) She has been here for some interviews working here, you know.
Is that gonna be a problem? No, no, no, no, no.
All right.
So now all we gotta do is take care of the license for my sports bar.
Yeah, you know, as I said, that's a very complicated I understand.
Wait, wait, wait, I can I can call a guy.
(IN NORWEGIAN) I think maybe I have a friend in the Department of Industry something about financial motivation Yeah, I did.
But now, this is all the motivation we need, pally.
Make that fucking phone call.
Yep.
FRANK: What do you think of this joint? Good enough to own? Of course it's good enough to own.
(CHUCKLES) What do you think? Well, I bought it.
I need a partner.
I'm thinking about you.
Me? You bought it? (CHUCKLES) Yep.
Take a look.
(STAMMERING) (IN NORWEGIAN) But how much is this gonna cost me? Nothing.
You sign at the bottom and you're a bar owner.
Are you kidding? shitting me right now? (LAUGHS) (IN NORWEGIAN) You're the fuckin' classiest immigrant I've met.
You bet your ass it's a yes.
Torgeir Lien.
I'm a bar owner now! - Congratulations.
- Thank you, sir! Why don't you pour us a little celebration libation? Sure, Giovanni.
Look at me, I'm a bar owner! (IN NORWEGIAN) This could be a new start for me, Giovanni.
Okay, I'll call you Johnny.
To new beginnings.
New beginnings.
- And early fucking spring.
- Yeah.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) Cheers.
- (IN NORWEGIAN) Cheers.
my number one fan, Frank.
" (IN NORWEGIAN) Who's Frank then? Somebody I used to know.
In another life.
(IN NORWEGIAN) This is Laila Hovland, chief of police in Lillehammer.
I'd like to run a background check on Giovanni Henriksen.
Giovanni.
Yeah.
- resynced by chamallow -
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