Lip Sync Battle (2015) s02e13 Episode Script

Joel McHale vs. Jim Rash

1 ("20th Century Boy" plays) Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good Everybody say it's just like rock 'n' roll Well, it's plain to see you were meant for me Yeah, I'm your boy, your 20th Century toy (audience cheers and applauds) Chrissy: He's the Papa bear of "Lip Sync Battle" family.
Do not ever stop clapping for LL Cool J! Hands in the air! Lemme hear you say "yeah!" (audience cheers) Now scream! (cheers and applauds) Wow.
Welcome to "Lip Sync Battle.
" In case you're unaware, this is that special place where stars come to battle and end up having the time of their lives, all right? (cheers and applauds) Now everybody knows the party can't start without our party in the box.
She puts the shine in a disco ball.
She is all that glitters.
Give it up for our girl, Chrissy Teigen.
(hip-hop music plays) (audience cheers and applauds) Bounce for me, just bounce for me.
Give it to me, baby.
Bounce for me.
Just bounce for me, Just bounce for me.
Work it out now, work it out now.
Just bounce for me.
So, Chrissy, what's happening in your world? Oh, my gosh, not a lot, just getting ready for the show.
The two most exciting people that I've seen! (cheers and applauds) Cool, then let's have some fun tonight, all right? Chrissy, go on up to your perch.
You think it's time to meet our stars? (cheers and applauds) First, he's here to class up the joint.
He's one of the stars on the show "Community.
" He's also won an Academy award for writing, but tonight, he's all about lip-syncing.
Please welcome, Jim Rash.
(cheers and applauds) Oh, you hard-core with it.
Right there, Jim.
Right there.
And his opponent, also from "Community" and "The Soup," he came to serve up some lip-sync love.
You know him, Joel McHale! (audience cheers and applauds) Oh, he's foul.
I forgot, I forgot, I forgot.
(laughs) I can't believe you're wearing a hat.
- A little surprising.
- I'm wearing a hat.
- Just get over there.
Just get over there.
- Oh, right.
You ready to let the battle begin? - (cheers and applauds) - Yeah, you ready? Joel, come on over here.
Jim, take a seat.
- Sit down, Jim, sit down.
- Sit on the lips.
- I'm sitting.
- Joel: Sit like a little bitch.
Jim: Oh, no, it's my nickname from high school.
I'm going to totally out-mouth words to songs.
It's endearing.
It's endearing.
LL: What song are you singing tonight? It's called "I Bet My Life.
" - (cheers and applauds) - Yeah.
(Imagine Dragons' "I Bet My Life" plays) I know I took the path That you would never want for me I know I let you down, didn't I? So many sleepless nights Where you were waiting up on me Well, I'm just a slave unto the night Now remember when I told you That's the last you'll see of me? I gave you hell through all the years (audience clapping) So I bet my life I bet my life I bet my life on you I bet my life I bet my life I bet my life on you-u-u Don't tell me that I'm wrong I've walked that road before - Wow.
- And left you on your own And please believe them when they say That it's left for yesterday And the records that I play Please forgive me For all (cheers and applauds) I've done So I bet my life I bet my life I bet my life on you I bet my life I bet my life I bet my life on you.
(microphone thuds, feedback squeals) (audience cheers and applauds) (laughs) Good.
Chrissy: That's the - Chrissy: Joel! - LL: Joel! Come on over! - What the - This is every day with Joel.
- Chrissy? (laughs) - Joel.
Yes? You were made for the stage.
Did you guys see that? - Thank you.
- He was definitely made for the stage.
I'm not sure how impressed Jim is, but - Oh, has he done it already? - Oh! - I'm asking.
- No, no, no, Jim I'm being so genuine.
I was like, "Have you started?" I thought that was the pre-interview.
Oh my God.
- Did you guys enjoy my song? - (cheers and applauds) Joel, head over to the VIP, marinate a little bit.
I will.
LL: Jim? - Jim.
- (laughs) Ah! Ow! So, Jim, what are you gonna do? So I happen to know Joel very well, and I know that his sort of one weakness is he is very susceptible to seduction.
I will actually be singing En Vogue "Giving Him Something He Can Feel.
" Ooh! Make some noise for Jim Rash! (cheers and applauds) ("Giving Him Something He Can Feel" plays) (women vocalizing) Many say That I'm too young To let you know just where I'm coming from Yeah but you will see It's just a matter of time My love will surely make you mine Well, I'm Livin' in a world of ghetto life Everyone seems so uptight But nothing's wrong, it's all right With my man My man I like the way we carry on His lovin' will send me on and on With my man People out there can understand I'm givin' him somethin' he can feel To let him know This love is real That I'm giving love, giving, giving, oh, yeah Givin' him somethin' he can feel No, no, yeah, yeah, talk to me To let him know this love is real I gotta let him know that this love's strong, yeah.
(audience cheers and applauds) Boner check.
Boing.
Someone's dream just came true Here, let me remove this for you guys.
You're gonna have to wipe that down.
Ew.
Joel, just go back to the VIP.
I'm gonna let you recover for a minute.
Chrissy, did that make you feel something? Apparently, I too, have a weakness for seduction.
- Have you done that before? - What? - All of that.
- Don't worry about it.
So, Joel, which part of Jim's performance made you the most uncomfortable? Oh, I think well, when he walks in any room, - I'm uncomfortable.
- This is fair.
I would like to say that's a first, but if you watch "Community," stuff like this happens all the time, so.
It's true.
I love it, well, Jim, head on over to the VIP.
(cheers and applauds) Look, we got two funnymen taking this battle seriously.
Joel went epic.
Jim got all up in it.
The show gets even bigger when "LSB" comes back.
Livin' a world of ghetto life ("20th Century Boy" plays) So what happens when two comedy stars come to the musical playground known as "Lip Sync Battle"? It's only gonna get weirder, and before Jim comes out for his final performance, let's check out how we came to be on the "LSB" stage.
(cheers and applauds) The mandate is I'm the eye candy of this show.
So they're sort of like, "We need to see as much skin as possible because Joel is flabby.
" We can other go hot pants.
Uh-huh.
Or we can go do like a leather pant.
Were you able to dress Joel, or was it a challenge? I'm sworn to secrecy.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I know what he looks like in clothes so it's like, blech.
(laughing) Slow, sl Ooh, sorry! (laughing) She's out, she's out! Are you gonna do a profile of Joel? - Uh, yeah.
Yes.
- All right.
Jim: So you said Joel's was bad? That's what you said.
Oh, okay, here we are.
It's intimidating.
(applauds) So cool.
It feels like a rock star for two seconds of your life.
Thank you.
Joel is one of those people who just sort of the light's on him (blows raspberry) You know? He, like, melts, and it's like Yeah? See? See? This is a family show! A family show! (bleep) you.
We're best friends.
There you go.
How does that feel? - Feels good.
- Great.
man: Here we go, everybody.
There's a lot at the same time happening.
And the last thing on my mind is that we're actually gonna perform.
woman: Okay, we're gonna stop here and we're gonna go up these stairs.
(audience cheers and applauds) (Pink's "So What" plays) Na na na na na na na - Na na na na na - Oh, my God.
I guess I just lost my husband I don't know where he went So I'm gonna drink my money I'm not gonna pay his rent Na na na na na na na, I wanna start a fight Na na na na na na na I wanna start a fight So, so what? I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves And I don't need you And guess what? I'm having more fun And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight I'm all right I'm just fine And I don't want you, tonight - (cheers and applauds) - Wow! You weren't there You never were You want it all But that's not fair I gave you life I gave my all You weren't there You let me fall So, so what? I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves - And I don't need you - Wow.
So what? I'm a rock star I got my rock moves And I don't I don't want you tonight Da da da da da.
(blows raspberry) (cheers and applauds) I don't know what happened.
Wow.
Oh, you beauty.
You won an Oscar for writing "The Descendents.
" I'm so sorry.
Which moment was better, winning an Oscar or living out your Pink dreams right here on this stage? This feels better to me (cheers and applauds) than any statue could ever make you feel! (cheers and applauds) LL: Joel, are you intimidated by this look or what Jim just did to the stage? By the look? Absolutely.
During the performance, I looked over at Chrissy, and she smashed something there, she was so happy.
You made me all agro at the end all of a sudden.
You are the most agile thing I've ever seen.
- Such a good dancer.
- Thank you.
Chrissy: I've never seen anything like that.
- Yeah.
- Jim, head on over to the VIP.
Oh, I sit in this? Yeah, no, definitely, you can't change out of that.
- Wow.
- Secret abs, I had no idea.
- A lot of vinyl.
- LL: Take a load off.
I think maybe Jim just broke up with Joel.
Is that possible? We'll find out if Joel can repair the damage or at least take the title when "Lip Sync Battle" comes back.
So, so what? I'm still a rock star (pop music plays) We spent an amazing day at "Lip Sync Battle" with Jim Rash and Joel McHale.
Before Joel shows us what he's made of, let's check out his day at "LSB.
" Y'all gotta keep up with me.
I don't think you can step.
I don't think you can back up as quick as me.
Can't do it, can you? Come on, why aren't you doing your job? Jim: No, I know, he's pretty much a disaster.
You're a (bleep) dead man.
You son of a bitch.
(laughs) Agh! No one's stopping this! No one is stopping this! This is mine now.
Let's go, come on! Who wants a free phone? That's his.
Where's the wig fitting? Oh! It's what my grandfather did for the a living, too.
- Lip sync? - Yep.
- Really? - Yep, on a railroad.
Show me what I might wear before I send you out to buy more stuff.
All right, continue, what is it gonna look like? - It's gonna look - (cymbal crash) exactly like the video.
- (cymbal crash) - What video? (chattering) Where do I go? Over here? Oh, my God! No! No one's doing anything! The whole tour is watching! Agh! woman: Okay, everybody, first positions please.
That's amazing.
You're fired! woman: Go to camera three.
Ready for the intro.
No! My God! No one's doing no one is anything again! You're a dead man! You were just standing there.
Drop the camera and do something! (cheers and applauds) (Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" plays) Shh.
Shh.
It's oh so quiet Shh, shh.
It's oh so still Shh, shh.
You're all alone Shh, shh.
And so peaceful until You fall in love Zing, boom The sky up above Zing, boom Is caving in Wow, bam! You've never been so nuts about a guy You want to laugh, you want to cry You cross your heart and hope to die Till it's over And then It's nice and quiet Shh, shh But soon again Shh, shh.
Starts another big riot You blow a fuse Zing, boom The devil cuts loose Zing, boom So what's the use Wow, bam! Of falling in love The sky caves in The devil cuts loose You blow, blow, blow Blow, blow your fuse (screams) When you fall in love.
(cheers and applauds) Shh.
LL: Joel.
Joel.
Take you back to your first tour, LL? That's a long way from the football team, ain't it? Put one right there.
Yeah, all right, no problem.
Joel McHale, everybody.
Thank you for letting me shorten my career in front of you! I think Jim and I just found our new sitcom.
Maybe we're crime fighters.
Yeah, "She's sexy.
She's crazy.
" (laughing) We should just back-to-back it so we get our tableau.
It'll be great.
Let's do it right here.
Here's the new sitcom right here.
Bernice, we have to solve this mystery! I'm trying, but you've been doing your nails for an hour.
You're crazy.
(cheers and applauds) There is no doubt that TV scholars will be going over this episode frame by frame for years - (grunting) - to figure out what just happened.
- LL! - But the audience - LL! LL, check this out! - only has a couple of minutes to decide who wins the championship belt.
- "LSB" will be right back.
- (Jim chattering) You fall in love ("20th Century Boy" plays) Another crazy week here at "Lip sync Battle" has almost come to an end, and now it's time for the "LSB" crowd to pick a winner and give away the "Lip Sync Battle" belt.
- Chrissy! - Ready.
Is your "Lip Sync Battle" champion Jim Rash? (cheers and applauds) Or is your "Lip Sync Battle" champion Joel McHale? - (cheers and applauds) - Yes! And the "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Jim Rash.
(cheers and applauds) (voice breaks) I told my family something like this would happen.
Unbelieveable, look, one love from me, LL Cool J, and my girl Chrissy Teigen, and remember, whatever you do in life, knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L! So what? I'm still a rock star I got my rock moves And I don't need you And guess what? I'm having more fun And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight I'm all right.