Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s02e03 Episode Script

Ban the Burka

- OK, I haven't seen that here before.
- Oh you mean the niqab? I don't care where she's from.
Niqab means veil, mom.
Do we have a problem with veils? I don't know, I mean, isn't it demeaning? I mean, I know it's the wrong color for the season.
- Well it's her choice.
- But who would choose to wear that? We should be welcoming her.
She's a muslim who's come here to pray Outside chance: she's a ninja.
Did you see that graven angel? Finally, a true modest muslim who's not a painted-hearted.
Baber, Rayyan can hear you.
She is a vision.
Do you know what first drew me to her, huh? - Her eyes.
- How did you know? Lucky guess.
s02e03 : Ban the burka #freelance subs transcript/synch : [dx.]
So did you hear about the woman wearing the veil? Everybody's talking about her.
I haven't heard anybody talking about her.
Well OK, it's just me so far but it has to start somewhere.
I have not met this woman, she has not come in yet.
See? She hasn't come to the diner yet, what is she hiding? Her mouth, it's covered, she cannot eat in public.
Spiderman has the same problem.
The niqab displays modesty.
Some women only want their husband to see their face.
OK, so why don't you wear one? I am a widow, I do not have a husband.
But if you had a husband that wanted you to wear one? I would punch him in his head.
Stupid manner.
Knock knock knock.
- Hope I'm not interrupting anything.
- Just working on next week's sermon.
Check it up: waking to the wonders around us.
Yeah, I have about 9 different versions of that in my desk drawer.
Something that I can do for you? Hide that for me.
- You've become a drug dealer.
- No, no, it's It's my aunt Judy's fudge Is that some kind of euphemism? Are you a drug dealer? It's not drugs.
It, it's delicious fudge.
I don't wanna binge it.
Come on, how good could it be? It's as if the word scrumptious had been genetically altered in head nuts headed.
Hide it for me.
OK, fine.
That's where you gonna hide it? Fine, turn around and I'll put it in the other drawer.
Don't tell me you're gonna put it in the other drawer.
I wasn't going to, I was just gonna open and close it so you thought I put it it in the other drawer.
Now I know that you're going to do that.
This would be much easier if you'd just leave.
Baber? Brother Yasir, what are you doing? Why are you spying? Spying? You're the one who's spying, I'm just Spying! I'm such a fool, acting like a schoolboy.
The woman in the veil, I have to talk to her, it's an irresistible urge.
- Then go talk to her.
- I can't! Well then it's not an irresistible urge.
- Excuse me, I have wood to unload.
- No, no, no, no! She is so beautiful! Oh, I would not have a chance with her.
With women you never know, until you really try.
- You know so much about the ladies.
- I haven't had any complaints.
Well I have, many complaints.
I need your help.
OK, what did you talk your wife about? - Our divorce? - Before that.
We had this fight about my toenails But this is not important! I come to your house later, you tell me everything I need to know, OK? Bye bye.
Why did I ever tell him where I leave? Did you see what I just saw? Her eyes, those eyes.
It's starting to look like the third world around here.
Her eyes get right through me.
Next thing you know we'll have all worn-faced curtains.
She was trying to hypnotize me.
You're always thinking people are trying to hypnotize you.
Remember last time at the talent contest? - Yeah, but that guy was a hypnotist.
- Ventriloquist.
Yeah but that dummy, those eyes Morons Well well well, if this isn't our girl-mayor.
I can see that our town crisis hasn't ruined your appetite.
No, but you might.
What crisis? What crisis? You have people walking down on main street, wearing burkas.
Next thing you know you have public beheadings and people, eating figues.
What is he talking about? Is there a beheading issue? There's this woman at the mosque wearing traditionnal repressive and sexist covering.
I'd thought you'd be all for it, it's all creepy and muslim.
No I'm not, that poor woman in that-- Sarah cares very much about her muslim sisters.
I've never actually seen you interacting with them however But I'm sure you care on some level.
Typical liberal, all talk, no action.
Hey, I'm part of the action.
Well allright, let's do something about this now, huh? - What? You two agree with each other? - Absolutely.
No we don't.
Sounds like you'll have to agree to disagree.
- I'm not agreeing that.
- Me neither.
Two peas in a pod So, we're gonna do something about this burka? Now here's my idea, the first thing we need is an angry mob-- Hold on, hold on, no, I'll come up with that.
Thanks.
Hello Amaar.
Reverend Did you hide the fudge like you promised you would? Yep.
Then What's this? If I owned it The co-checkroom Amaar, I mean really You are a terrible hider.
I don't understand what the big deal is.
I don't expect you to understand.
But, we christians, have a little thing called "self-denial".
We have self-denial too, muslims are the kings of self-denial.
Great.
But I'm beginning to think you're the wrong man for the job.
You think I can't hide fudge? I can hide fudge.
In fact, you better put your fudge-finding glasses on, Mr, because you're gonna have some major trouble finding this fudge.
I like your spirit.
Not there! I found it.
- There had to be a law against burkas.
- No, a law against miracles.
Is it some kind of weird muslim thing? No, the flower, I hate miracles, in I'll keep looking.
I found it.
Right here on the microfiche, check it out.
What did you bring it in for? It's not big enought to read it.
What? I wanted to have something to hold when I said "I found it".
Mercy banned face covers in 1910 after a bunch of robberies in wooden dryed goods and sundries Yeah what is a sundry anyway? Something that's not a dry-good.
Baber, let's say you were to meet this woman on the street What would you say to her? I would say that there is no God but Allah, and Mohamed is his prophet.
You may need to walk up to that.
You see? I don't know anything about women.
Yes you do, of course you do, you were married.
- How did you meet your wife? - At a wedding.
This is going to be a challenge, what we need is an ice-breaker.
How about a joke? - I am very good with the jokes.
- Yes? Once upon a time, there were these two economists, - and they went up fishing together.
- Yes? Now, the important thing to remember, that one of them was a keynesian, and the other one a monetarist.
- So what? - Let's go, in another direction.
- You know how to make coffee? - Yes.
- Do the women like that? - No, no, I mean right now because we're going to be here for some time.
- So she'll eventually make? - This place is Taliban Central - The usual? - No thanks.
Any signs of our friend with the veil? What's going on? The law is going on, no more burkas.
You're with the veil, you go to jail.
- Are you nuts? - You did the crime You go to jail.
- You can't just make up laws.
- Don't blame me hon', blame your mom.
Well I sorta kinda found an old law on the books.
You can't force people to wear what you're tell them to.
Law enforces you to wear seatbelts, it's like that, a seatbelt for your face.
Of course we're telling people not to wear seatbelts.
She's not here Mike, let's go scope their H.
Q.
Just a minute! Mom, I won't be home for dinner.
What did you do this for? You didn't heard my jail-veil thing? Yeah, take me away officer.
Let's go.
Wait a minute, wait wait wait a minute.
That's my daughter, I mean I'm the one who found the law, she doesn't count! The police station? What happenned? Well I've just sort of accidentally got our daughter arrested Of course I understand, who wouldn't understand? I'll be right there.
I have to leave, my daughter's in jail.
Awesome excuse, if you don't wanna help me just say so.
Why don't you make this easy and just loose the veil? Not going to happen.
Well then you're going to be in there for a long time.
- Mike, let her go.
- Yes mam.
I am not going anywhere.
I'm a prisonner of conscience.
Why don't you just take off the veil, you never wore one before.
I'm doing it to make a point, don't you understand? No, which means you're not making your point, so just take off the veil and go home.
I'm protesting an unjust law.
We're not pressing charges, let her go.
- I'm not leaving.
- Then you're tresspassing.
- Book her! - Yes mam! Open or shut? Half-way's fine.
Works for me.
Now, people are being arrested because this poor woman has chosen to wear the niqab.
If she were here, I'll tell her she has my full support.
I'll follow her for you, tell me where she lives.
What? - Couldn't help over the directory - You didn't try hard enough.
No, I have to find her, she hypnotized me.
Even now she could be in control of my mind.
Nobody is in control of your mind.
It's a nice thing to say but still, I have to find her.
Who know those spooky eyes are up to.
No, do not.
Right, this is about me and my mission.
Gotcha, wish me luck.
You always think that people are trying to hypnotize you.
Rayyan, my baby.
That's prisonner #14 to you.
I'll probably get along with #1 when they'll move me to the bake house.
- My darling we were worried sick.
- Really? - Yes.
- I just thought you'd be able to relax with the notorious criminal behind bars.
Really, I don't need to nit-pick, but I only found the law - You're the one who broke it.
- The law is unjust.
No it's not, it's here to protect our dry-goods and sundries.
Ladies, please, let's not turn this prison visit into something unpleasant.
Why do you have to be so pig-headed? Why do you have to butt your nose into other people's business? Yasir, are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Oh what's he gonna do? Bust me out of jail so he can send me to my room? Would anybody like any ice-cream? Son of a Hi Joe.
- Hi reverend, - I can't talk I'm on a case.
Oh she's crafty, she gave me the slip.
I don't know who she is but, she's lucky.
Yeah.
You have to help me.
Yasir, I haven't slept, I haven't bathed - I'm ready to meet her.
- Then you must go to her.
But first, take a bath.
But, but, I need you there to coach me.
Nothing else I could do for you Baber, I'm a very busy man.
I don't know the first thing to say to her.
Or the second, or the fourth! - You missed the third.
- I, I know the third.
My name is Baber, sister, what is yours? That's beautiful.
It's the last time, I can't keep holding your hand.
I don't want you to hold my hand.
I want to hold her hand.
But not until we're married of course.
Yes.
Let's go.
Let's find her.
- Why is she in jail? - Because she wore a veil.
- Since when did she start wearing it? - Well since it became illegal.
Since when wearing a veil is illegal? Well I sorta dug up an old law Look, what part of my plan "Backfire" did you not understand? The part where you drag me into fixing your problems.
Will you please go talk to her? This really isn't a spiritual issue anymore, it's a legal matter.
You were a lawyer once.
I'll take a look at it, maybe we can unlawify this law.
- Unlawify? - It's been a while.
By the way rev' the fudge is behind the book case.
You're not supposed to tell me.
Stupid law, I should've never done this.
And this is why we don't open books.
You think she'll be allright.
Oh no, she'll be fine.
I've got a bunch of books here, never opened them.
Please help me.
You know, this type of mess is usually handled by my P.
R.
person.
Oh right, that's you! - All right.
- Yeah.
I'll call the council meeting, go to the planary comittee, go to second reading, and as fast as you can say 5 years from now, that silly law will be history.
Five years, we can't let her rot in jail, she might get herself a tatoo, this is a human rights crisis.
I can't fast track this Sarah, one person in jail does not a human rights crisis make.
What? Excuse me? Excuse me, I'm going for a very public walk.
Oh yeah, sure, you can cover your face, I still know you're leaving work early.
Where are you taking me, you don't even know where she lives.
My heart will be our compass.
A compass tells us where we're going - and we don't know where we're going.
- There she is.
- Go to her brother.
- I don't think I can.
- Just look at her brother! - I can't! Yasir! Oh, excuse me sister, salam aleikum.
Your eyes, your eyes are not a women's.
Shhh! I'm undercover.
This is not just me you know, this is a movement.
It's not a movement, it's just two people.
Three people.
OK I get why she's in a vei, but why would you put a veil on? - I mean how does that help? - It's like hunting, You wanna catch a duck, you gotta think like a duck.
You don't dress like a duck, you get a wooden duck.
Like I'm gonna build some wooden burka woman.
This is stupid.
Hello Amaar, what are you doing here? I sorta promised Sarah I'd help her out.
Great, I'll show you where the coffee maker is.
No, I mean I'm researching this whole veil thing, - I'm trying to find a loophole.
- Right, of course.
So, sorry, did you make coffee or No Look, I don't mean to be rude mayor, but, I've really got to concentrate, I've look at this statute from every angle but it is locked up pretty tight.
- This might be helpful.
- What's that? Black, two sugars.
Off you go dear.
You just got yourself locked up to guilt me - and to taking off my veil.
- No I didn't.
Would that help? Whoa, this place looks a lot bigger when you're sober.
Let my people go.
Slow down Moses, I'm loosing authority.
Look.
The law was thrown out in 1936 so that catholic girls can wear communion veils.
Communion veils? What a strange religion.
- Turn 'em loose.
- Suits me.
This piece is killing me.
I certainly hope you've learnt your lesson today.
Mom, this whole thing has been a disaster from start to finish.
And it's all your fault.
- Prison has made you hard.
- Yeah.
Wow, wow, wow, hold on.
There's a morality law here from 1903, that forbid certain gentlemans from wearing women's garmentry in public.
I'm on a job.
So am I.
In you go, princess.
Come on.
You look pleased with yourself.
You know what I've ate last night? - Fudge? - Cheeseburgers This morning I went to Fatima's, had two.
- For breakfast? - Don't you get it? It means I'm over fudge, it's done.
It sounds like you've simply replaced fudge with cheeseburgers.
Isn't that great? But I can't take all the credit.
Thank you for your support.
Hold on.
Could I have, one small piece of fudge you know, now that I'm over it, one small piece.
- No.
- Don't you believe it? Come on! No, I ate it.
The whole box? Not in one whole sitting, over the day.
That's sick Amaar, you know that? Sick! All gone? All gone.
I'm very disappointed in you.
Earlier I might have wrenchwrecked your office but I'm very disappointed at you.
I will never see her again.
My delicate flower, pure modest - Modest, yes.
- Driven out of town with that cruel-hearted stupid law.
Excuse me.
I noticed you noticing me.
I I just wanted to introduce myself.
Perhaps after prayers we could Introduce yourself? And you call yourself a modest muslim woman? Such behaviour is totally unacceptable.
He really likes you.
transcript/synch : [dx.]
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