Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007) s03e03 Episode Script

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mercy

Where is Amaar? You came back from Toronto two weeks ago, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
- Why do you keep wearing it? - It was a gift.
My point is I cannot be temporary imam forever.
I know, hence the word - "temporary".
- It is time I was made permanent.
Clearly Amaar is never coming back.
Be patient.
The man's obviously has spiritual issues.
If he were a real imam he'd know nothing is more important than his dedication to Islam.
Assalamu alaikum.
Walaikum assa lam? I have returned from my pilgrimage to Mecca.
Subhanallah Season 3 Episode 3 A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Mercy Subhanallah: Glory be to Allah.
Alhamdulillah: Praised be to Allah.
Umrah: an Islamic ritual like Hajj, but is performed at Mecca anytime of the year.
Petit fours: small cakes, from French "small oven".
Fait accompli: accomplished fact, unlikely to reverse.
Thousands of Muslims, praying side by side together at the Grand Mosque.
I can't really describe it, it was just so humbling.
I regret I have not yet made the Hajj myself.
Neither has Amaar.
What you did was the Umrah, not the Hajj.
True, it wasn't the right season for the Hajj.
But - there's no off-season for faith.
- Yes, yes, yes.
your lesser pilgrimage is very impressive.
What was your experience in Mecca like, Baber? - I have not yet been.
- Really?! I'd have thought you'd have done it by now.
What is that supposed to mean? It means that he is surprised that you have not yet been, because you have had more time.
Because you are so, so much older.
I would've massaged that just a little.
Anyhow, let's get you back to work.
No, stop! Are you forgetting that while Amaar was away, - I served as Mercy's imam? - How could we forget?! After all my hard work, Amaar cannot just mambo back in here and take back his job.
I think you mean "waltz".
And I think he just did.
Baber, don't be so stubborn.
Let it go.
Wait.
Baber's right.
I said Mecca was humbling, and it was.
Baber, I defer to your good judgement.
What would you like me to do? I want you to reapply for your job! Then that's what I'll do.
Then I will get you an application.
- Then I'll fill out an application.
- Then I will make an application.
So Amaar went to Mecca? Did he say why? Well, making the pilgrimage is one of the five pillars of Islam.
Yes, but technically he just made the Umrah.
Hajj is only performed during the - Wow.
- Whoa! I can't get something right every now and then? Okay, we'll see you soon.
Guess what? My parents are in the country.
They're gonna stop in Mercy before heading back to Dubai.
They should come by the house! I think that may have been the idea.
I have an idea! Engagement party.
Big, big engagement party.
Aha wow, you look stressed.
I'm just not comfortable with the idea of a big party.
It's too much hoopla.
Okay, how about a tiny tea party instead? Yes! Tiny cups lots of people! A few people, normal size cups, and that would be lovely.
- Oh, and Amaar can come.
- Yeah Yeah.
Amaar.
This is a nice surprise.
Oh, I only have a second.
I just wanted to return your book.
"The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants".
- I don't think this is mine.
- Oh.
Sorry.
So things are good? I mean, you're good? Because before you left, you didn't seem good.
You know what, I'm actually better than good.
I'm great! I just wish I could get my old job back.
Oh, I don't understand why my father's letting Baber do this.
It's okay.
I sort of insisted.
You're okay with Baber making you apply for your own job? Well, The old Amaar wouldn't have been.
But - the new Amaar is.
- But, Amaar, it's one of those things.
You assumed you'd always have it.
And now it's someone else's.
If you're upset, I wish you'd just say so and put it out there so we can get past it.
Rayyan, I think I know exactly what you're trying to say.
But don't worry, I'll be imam again in no time.
Oh that's good.
Crust-less sandwiches? Petit fours? - What are petit fours? - Not sure.
Tiny cakes I think.
Tiny cakes? - For your future in-laws? - Yes.
- From Dubai, land of plenty? - It sounds wrong, doesn't it? Well, if by wrong you mean cheap.
In my country, - we treat in-laws like royalty.
- Exactly! In Lebanon, we would serve a 'Full Maza' appetisers, salad, kebabs, dessert Let's do it.
My daughter gets married only once.
Well, and as for numbers, J.
J's parents can't come all this way without meeting the members of the mosque.
The mosque! Excellent idea.
That's where we'll do it.
Here's what you'll need Tables, chairs, linens, decorations.
Um, DJ or live band? - Why choose? - I agree.
I'll book both.
Then Amaar looked me right in the eye and said everything was good.
- What could that mean? - Perhaps he was speaking in code.
- Exactly! To say what? - That he's good? Ha ha.
It's just I'm tired of everyone talking around this thing.
Amaar left town right after J.
J.
and I got engaged.
Coincidence? Sweetie, I know you and Amaar were close, you are close.
But if he's moving on now, isn't that for the best? Mom, yes, Amaar and I are just a friends.
- Okay then.
- Okay.
Which is why this matters so much.
If we can't be honest about this now, it'll be like there's always the Wouldn't that be a pretty small elephant? Well, it has to fit in the room.
Here it is.
Application for, uh, my job.
In-box, please.
Uh, can I get a clip for this? It's, uh, - in my drawer.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Not your drawer.
Not just yet.
Not mine.
Not yet.
Wait, no references? Right away.
I've taken care of everything! It's all bought, rented, paid for.
You mean cake and tea? Yes some cake and tea.
And some other food items also music, tables, decorations.
Look, normally I'd trail off here, but why don't you just look at the list? But this? This is exactly what Rayyan did not want.
- This is a huge party! - "Party?" This is bad.
My parents just called to say they can't make it.
My dad got called back to Dubai.
I'll cancel everything.
- I'll supervise.
- You don't need to supervise! - Yes I do.
- Yes you do.
- Praying or pacing? - Little bit of both.
- Have you seen Amaar? - Oh, he's in his office.
Well, the office that used to be his office.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You can't go in there.
Why not? Because Baber and Faisal are in there asking him all kinds of questions.
Really? - How many words per minute? - Thirty-two.
Very slow typist.
What is she doing here? I never know why she does anything.
I just came to offer my moral support.
- You did? - You won't even know I'm here.
Anyway What I want to know is Actually, I have a question.
It says you had an imam posting before this one, and you left abruptly; can you tell us why? I had a spiritual crisis, went for the Umrah, and now I'm back.
I see do you ever let personal feelings interfere with your work? - This is getting juicy.
- Uh huh.
As an imam, I don't see personal feelings as an interference.
If I didn't take my job personally, I wouldn't be very good at it.
So is there anything else, or can I.
.
? Wait! I asked you, have you memorized the Quran, and - You did not check the box.
- That's true.
You see, I know all the Quran, I just don't know all of it at once.
But knowing the Quran by heart, in Arabic, is a must for an imam.
Well, it's not a must, Baber.
- C'mon.
- I will not come on! - I am the imam here.
- No, I am the imam! Will you stop trying to wind me up and just give me my job back?! Ha! Your job! I knew it! You have not learned humility at all! If you want your job back, you will memorize.
- What? - Second chapter! By tomorrow! - But that's the longest one! - I Know.
Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.
That is right.
Leave! Do what you do best.
Thanks for the warm welcome home, Baber.
And thank you for the support.
Hi, Amaar, it's me.
I wanted to talk to you in person, but I can't find you anywhere Can we do coffee? Call me back.
When I said coffee, I meant like we always have, nothing unusual.
Just talking about us.
Not that there's an 'us.
' I'm engaged to J.
J.
who's great, but so are you, which is why I care about your feelings.
I'm not saying you have feelings for me.
Or me for you.
I mean, maybe I did once Oh boy.
Oh wow.
That just happened.
Excuse me! - Excuse me! - We are the Hamoudis.
We ordered the party supplies? Great.
Sign here.
Actually, we have to cancel.
But I'm already here.
You can't cancel.
It's already happened.
- Sort of a catch-22.
- More like a stalemate.
- It's not a standoff.
- Not so much.
- Fait accompli? - What? Okay, I can haul this stuff away again, but you'd lose your deposit.
- 500 dollars? - Yeah.
- Oh, and the total on the order was - 500 dollars.
- Oh! - Give me that.
Through those doors over there.
- You're keeping these stuff? - Yes, it's the principle of the things.
We can always cancel the extra guests.
Rayyan cannot possibly object to a few extra tables.
- What about the decorations? - I'll get a refund, - and I'll talk to Fatima about the food.
- No, no, no.
You and she are no good.
I'll take Fatima.
You take the decorations.
I love it when you give orders.
- Assalamu alaikum! - Walaikum assalam.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
I thought you were avoiding me.
Why would I be avoiding you? Just You seemed angry before.
I was wrong, I apologize.
I'm not much of an imam if I can't handle a little test now and again.
So you're actually going to memorize that for Baber? Yeah.
Piece of cake If cake were really hard to make, and the recipe were in Arabic.
Wow.
You weren't answering your cell phone, Oh, yeah.
I left it in the office.
I'll get it back later.
So you haven't checked your messages?! Never mind.
- We're good? - Absolutely.
No, wait.
Rayyan.
I um We're not good just yet.
I haven't been completely honest with you - You haven't? - No, and you deserve better.
The truth is, when I left town it was because of you.
I had convinced myself that there're may have been feelings between us.
But I took some time away, and I realized that wasn't how you felt.
You did? And I know now that, that wasn't how I felt either.
I just confused friendship with something more.
I don't know what to say.
But that's over.
I'm completely recommitted to my faith, and you're committed to J.
J.
I just hope we can put it all behind us.
Will you "erase" me? I just have to "excuse" something.
Never mind.
- You're returning your decorations? - Yes, please.
- For a full refund.
- Yeah.
That's the idea.
- The boxes are open.
- Oh, I'll tape them up.
- You lost your receipt.
- I'll take a store credit.
Every single decoration has "Congratulations Rayyan and JJ" printed on it.
Problem? - I can't re-sell these.
- Don't be ridiculous! Rayyan and J.
J.
are very common names.
Sooner or later, more of them are bound to meet and marry.
I'm gonna go on my break now.
- Hi! - Hi! - Looking for Amaar? - Uh, yes, reverend, I was.
Um, I needed some advice.
But he's not here So I'm gonna I'm going to leave quickly.
Anything I can do to help? Okay.
Well I left a pie in my friend's fridge.
And I need to retrieve the pie in order to I left some messages on Amaar's cellphone, and I need to get them off.
What should I do? I think you should do whatever is right for your friend.
Right.
Okay.
Thanks.
It's too bad.
I liked where you were going with the pie story.
Messages.
Please enter your pass code.
A- M- A- A- R That is not your pass code.
Uh, I- S- L- A- M Sorry you are having trouble.
Good-bye.
Yeah - Yasir ordered 200 kebabs?! - Yes.
- But I did not make 200.
- Oh, thank goodness.
I made 400.
You can never have enough food.
Four hundred? The extra 200 is my personal gift to Rayyan and J.
J.
Oh.
Well, thanks.
At least that's one less thing we have to pay for.
No no, the thought was the gift.
You still have to pay for the meat.
- How's the memorization going? - Uh, terrible, thanks.
You know what you need? Some kind of memory trick.
Like what? I don't know, like an association to what you're memorizing.
Like, my bank code is 1010, same as my address.
Did you just give me your bank code? Bad example.
Your voicemail.
If you had a code for that, what would that code be? How does that help me memorize the Quran, Rayyan? - I don't know.
- Okay, well then I will get back to it.
Yeah, totally.
- Name of your first pet? - Rayyan, what is this? I'm starting to feel like you don't want me to pass Baber's test.
- No, I - Then what's the problem? Did you not even want me to come back? You have messages on your phone that I don't want you to hear.
Messages from me.
Oh you left messages for me.
No I left them for the old Amaar.
Before I realized he wasn't coming back.
I'm sorry.
No, I'm sorry.
Look at me, getting mad at you, getting mad at Baber.
Maybe there is no humble and new Amaar.
Maybe I'm just fooling myself.
Where are you going? I need to take a walk.
- Well, here's a lesson in all this.
- And that is? If you want to cancel a big party, even if you can cancel the food, the decorations, and the DJ Hey, where do you want me? Over there, please I couldn't cancel the DJ.
In the end, it doesn't make any difference - if you forget to cancel the guests.
- Minor oversight.
What is this? I thought we said tiny tea party.
And I can explain.
- No, I can't.
Congratulations! - Dad! I'm just - I'm not comfortable with the hoopla.
- I'm sorry, sweetie, but unless you can come up with another guest of honour, this puppy's yours.
Congratulations.
"From" Rayyan & JJ.
A little welcome home party, Rayyan and J.
J's idea.
Speech! Speech! Uh thanks, everyone.
But I can't accept this.
The truth is, everybody, I can't be your imam.
I'm sorry, I uh failed to honour a reasonable request made by brother Baber to meet the basic requirements of the job.
But it's not about me.
It's about this community.
A community I abandoned without saying why, and without saying sorry.
For that I apologize.
Enough of this nonsense.
Brother Amaar, you have shown humility.
You have your job back.
But, but, but, but, but this does not get you out of the memorization! You.
Me.
Your office.
Tomorrow morning.
Thursdays are bad for me.
I'm kidding.
Alhamdulillah! Let's welcome back the new old imam! - Yes! - Yes, yay, Hey, guys, I just wanted to thank you.
This must've been a lot of work.
Actually it all came together surprisingly quickly.
Ooh, kebabs! Amaar, about the messages if you want to I mean, if you feel you need to you know what, I am not gonna tell you what to do.
You should do what feels right.
Please enter your pass code.
R- A- Y- Y- A- N.
You have three new messages.
To listen, press one.
Messages deleted.
Good-bye.
Subtitle by: Kiasu.

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