Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s01e18 Episode Script
The Rival
How about a game of one on one? You're Bo? - I know.
- Yeah, right.
I mean, you would know.
Sure, yeah.
First free throw gets the ball.
Okay.
Bo knows free throws.
What can I say? Bo knows jump shots.
Oh, no, don't tell me.
Bo knows hook shots.
You got it.
Bo don't know that.
The sales department has just sent down this little reminder.
But I'm gonna make it easy for everybody.
What it says is that ever since Preston Carpenter bought the Metropolis Star and started throwing his money around this town the Star has been selling twice as many newspapers as the Planet both newsstand and subscription.
Can anybody explain this to me? - Bigger type, smaller words? - No, Lois.
Carpenter's got reporters out hustling us on the street.
In the last month the Star has out-scooped us on every single major news story in this town.
Now what am I gonna lead off this afternoon's edition with that's gonna change all that? Secretary Wallace is in town to sign that nuclear arms treaty with Omer.
We're waiting to hear on one on one.
That'll really have them lining up at the newsstands.
Lois, if you got a better idea Police charity scams? At least it's local.
People, for 50 years the Daily Planet has been the top dog in this town and the Metropolis Star has been this dirty little puppy nipping at our heels.
Now, I don't mean to be an alarmist but unless we get some major news stories on our own the faces around here are gonna start changing.
Now, what we need is a good scandal.
- A crime wave - Hotel fire! - That'll do.
- There's a woman trapped on a ledge.
The fire department can't reach her.
Yes! Lois, Clark, shake some tail.
All right! I forgot something.
You go ahead, I'll catch up.
Help! If not for the incredible last-second rescue by Superman Excuse me, Superman.
Linda King, Metropolis Star.
Can you tell me what it was like up there? The smoke was very intense.
Visibility to the human eye, probably zero.
I'm just lucky that she held on till I got here.
A mother with three children, it would have been awful.
- Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Thank you.
Just another day in the life of a superhero.
That's it.
Thanks.
Great.
Bye.
Excuse me, Daily Planet.
What are you doing here? Lois, it's nice to see you, too.
What's it been? Six years since graduation? Unfortunately, you haven't changed a bit.
We're not starting this again.
I'm here on business for the Daily Planet.
I need to talk to Superman.
You just missed him.
He was very helpful.
Not only did he save the woman at the last second but he was nice enough to give me a quote for my story.
Your story? Haven't you heard? I'm working for the Metropolis Star.
And I believe you've just been scooped.
So you got scooped.
It happens.
Just focus on the next story.
Spare me the Smallville pep talk.
I wasn't just scooped.
A hideous part of my past just reared its ugly head.
Never let it be said that Lois Lane doesn't have a flair for exaggeration.
You don't know this woman, Clark.
She has no conscience.
She can't even spell it.
It was a dark day for the Daily Planet when Linda King rode into town.
Go ahead, mock me.
You don't know the depths to which this woman will stoop to get a story.
Or anything else, for that matter.
- Do I detect the scent of jealousy? - No.
You detect the smell of a rat and she just scurried in.
Hi, Lois, I thought we could get reacquainted.
Or not.
Hi, I'm Linda King.
Hi, Clark Kent.
I've heard a lot about you.
From Lois? Let me guess.
"Has no conscience.
Will stoop to anything.
" - See? - She's kidding.
No, I'm not.
And one more thing.
Stay away from Superman.
I guess Lois thinks Superman's her own personal source, doesn't she? You know, I'd really like to talk to him again.
Is that the reason you're here? Well, wouldn't an introduction fall into the category of professional courtesy? Sorry.
Then what should we talk about? I read your article on the hotel fire.
Very good work.
Thank you.
Surprising to hear you say that, though.
Just because we're competitors doesn't mean that we can't appreciate the competition.
I also liked the editorial that your publisher wrote demanding changes in the fire department.
He's a very powerful writer.
Preston Carpenter is a very powerful man, period.
By the way, he's having a party tonight at the Metropolis Press Club.
Do you wanna go? It's so last minute and I hate to go to those things alone.
So bring a date.
I'd ask you to be mine, but I already have one.
Okay, sure.
Great.
I'll see you tonight.
Bye, Lois.
All right, what did she want? She invited me, us, you and me to a dinner that Carpenter is throwing tonight.
Do you wanna go? How could you accept an invitation from her after everything I told you? Lois, we might learn something.
Oh, I'm sure that's the only reason Clark Kent, all-American boy, wants to go.
What time should I pick you up? You will not be picking me up.
I'll meet you there at 7:00.
Lois, you look incredible.
Have you seen Linda? Well, no one fields a compliment quite like you do.
I wonder what she's wearing.
Wild guess.
I'm thinking there's more to this rivalry than just who's the better reporter.
Am I right? Don't insult me.
I insulted you? There's no question who's the better reporter.
Hello, Charles, how are you? - Don't look at her.
- Lois, what a surprise.
You're Clark's date.
What else do you two do together? I thought you two might enjoy catching up.
What happened, Linda, your date stand you up? Of course not.
Follow me, I'll introduce you.
Lois, I love your dress.
You're so lucky.
I'd never wear anything off the rack.
- Preston.
- Linda.
You look so beautiful.
I'm at a lost for words to describe her.
I could help you there.
Preston, this is Clark Kent.
He's a reporter for the Daily Planet.
And his date, Lois Lane.
Preston Carpenter.
Actually, we're a reporting team.
The Daily Planet was a fine paper in its day.
Fine paper, but things change.
That's a lesson in life, I guess.
Either you make it happen or it happens to you.
Excuse me.
The Mayor would like to have a moment with you.
Yes.
Excuse me, will you? Well, now we know how you got your job.
Lois, you don't mind if Clark and I dance, do you? Where have you been? Fire department.
They think the hotel's a probable arson.
Get me some aftermath photos of investigators sifting through the rubble.
Why are you reading that tabloid rag? CK got his picture on the society section.
He's dancing with Linda King.
I need some good news.
Well, I wouldn't read the bulletin board.
- Why? - The paper's cut out expense accounts.
- They can't do that.
- Just did.
Memo says it's cutting costs due to lower circulation.
CK thinks that paid sick days are the next thing to go.
Where is Clark? I think he had a lunch date with Linda King.
If anybody wants me, I'll be at the Fudge Castle.
On my own money.
Since you were kind enough to read my work, I've been reading some of yours.
I'm impressed with you, Clark.
I'm not easily impressed.
Most of it was written with Lois.
That says even more about your talent.
Actually, I've learned a lot from her.
Clark, just what exactly is your relationship with Lois? It's not defined.
Define "not defined.
" Excuse me.
King.
I'm here at the Tri Crown.
Okay.
Carpenter.
He likes to know where his reporters are at all times.
Don't you log out? Sure, but nothing goes on at the Star without Carpenter's say-so.
He's the most hands-on publisher I've ever worked for.
Judging by the way the Star has been getting its stories lately I'd say it works for him.
We've just had a run of great luck.
It takes more than great luck to be in the right place at the right time.
I'd like to take credit, but truth be told I only nailed that fire story because I happened to be at the hotel covering a fashion show at the time.
Sort of like this? Sort of.
Can you tell me what happened? Yeah, a cable broke in the elevator.
The car is dangling on the 75th floor.
Clark? The cable snapped.
Let's move! Here, let me borrow your camera.
Superman! The afternoon edition.
Well done, Stark.
Don't you just love the news business? This wasn't easy.
It's not supposed to be easy.
I wouldn't need your services if it was easy, would I? Yeah, well.
How many more? As many as it takes to kill the Daily Planet.
Because then, Stark I will control over 80% of what the American people read.
And when you control what they read you control what they think.
And when you control what they think then you can really begin to make it happen.
Now, who knows what's wrong with this picture? I'm gonna tell you what's wrong with this picture.
What's wrong with this picture is that we have no picture.
Superman is the biggest story of the day.
And the only picture we got is a picture of a weather graph.
Now, could someone please explain this to me? Chief, the first diagram illustrates the amount of rainfall we're getting this year.
And the pie chart How could you let that bottom feeder scoop you like this? - Bottom feeder? - Why were you having lunch with her? What are you asking him for? If you want to know something, go out and buy the Star.
They know everything.
I bet they don't know how much rain we got this year.
People, I can assure you if we don't come up with some solid page-one stories PDQ the only writing you're going to be doing is writing your résumés.
Now, what have we got? Conference room.
Anybody? What in the sam hill am I supposed to tell my publisher if he calls? Well, whatever it is, he's waiting to hear it on line one.
Just a warning, folks.
I've seen papers shut down before, and it's not a pretty sight.
It ain't pretty at all.
I know Linda's writing style is absolutely mesmerizing, but please try not to drool.
How long are you gonna keep acting like this? Me? You're the one who's more concerned with being on the Star's society page than making the Planet's front page.
Is that what this is about? You're jealous because you think I'm infatuated with Linda King? I wouldn't care if you were infatuated with Don King.
What I care about is the quality of reporting at the Planet.
Then you should be happy to see this.
Okay, I see it.
When do I get happy? This is elevator cable.
I found it in the shaft after the accident.
Check out the end.
I don't feel happy but I am closing in on bored.
It's not frayed, Lois.
It's smooth, like it's been cut.
Cut? Then the accident Wasn't an accident.
- Somebody wanted the elevator to fall.
- Clark, do you know what this means? - I can scoop Linda.
- You? Yes, me.
I mean "us.
" I meant to say "us.
" Didn't I say "us"? Yeah.
Look, before we write anything, I want the lab to verify my - Our theory.
- Right.
Absolutely.
Of course.
Messenger! Get me a messenger! Let's sit down, grab a bite to eat.
Calm down.
You seem tense.
Tense? No, I am not tense.
I'm perfectly fine.
I'm just perfectly fine.
Are you the messenger? - No.
- Get me the messenger! All right, let's think this thing through.
Assume the elevator cable was cut.
Who would benefit from it? You'd kill a random person.
The building owner.
Insurance scam.
I don't know.
Welcome to the Press Club.
What's this? Looks like a promotion for the Star.
Yeah, look.
Every customer receives a free copy.
It's not bad enough Carpenter has to lower his newsstand price.
Now he's giving it away.
What are you looking at? Carpenter has an editorial demanding stronger building codes in light of the elevator accident.
He's calling for a criminal investigation into the manufacturers.
So? He's a fast writer.
It's in the same edition as Linda's article.
The man's a walking opinion.
He doesn't need to think much.
But still I'll be right back.
Order me angel hair with tomato and basil.
No olive oil, extra parmesan cheese.
Two page-one stories in as many days.
You should be very proud of yourself.
It's an unexpected start, I'll say that.
To me it's not unexpected at all.
You're a man of vision.
Isn't that what they say? I am a man of action.
Do you remember Charles Foster Kane? - Of course.
- My idol even though he was only a movie character.
I've devoted my time to becoming the genuine article.
- Aren't you already? - Not quite.
You see, Kane not only reported the news, he made it.
He set out an agenda for the entire country and then he had his papers promote that agenda and the country went along.
And soon, I will have that kind of power.
Does that excite you as much as it excites me? I don't think we should confuse our relationship.
My dear, if there's one thing I am not, it's confused.
I've got a deadline.
I've got to get back to the office.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Looking for your career? I lost my bracelet.
I've seen how you accessorize, Lois.
Believe me, it's not worth the effort.
Is there no getting away from you? I was wondering what you were doing here.
- I am a member.
- Oh, really? I thought members had to be working for an organization that was still in business.
Don't start swaggering yet.
Although on second thought, your hips could use a little exercise.
Speaking of bodies, that partner of yours? Great one.
Buns of steel.
How would you know? You don't need Superman's x-ray vision to figure that out.
Listen, Linda, I'm warning you, stay away from him.
You said that about Superman.
What is it with you? Clark's good-hearted and naive.
I wouldn't wanna see him get hurt.
I know you'd just be using him to get back at me.
For me to want to get back at you means you'd have to have done something that mattered to me.
Which you haven't.
Clark.
Can I ask a favor of you? He's working.
We're working.
Looks like you're having dinner.
You had lunch with the man.
Aren't you full yet? Would you please walk me to the train station? Clark, help her out, then lock the door behind her.
Such wit, Lois.
Maybe that'll help you pass the hours at the unemployment office.
Do you mind if I say something here? No.
Tell her no and let's eat.
She probably doesn't know her way around.
She knows her way around well enough to beat us out of two stories since she's been here.
Trust me.
There's a train station about two blocks from here.
I'll be right back.
Bye, Lois.
Come over to my place.
I'll build a fire and make some coffee.
Lois is waiting for me at the Press Club.
Lois should be used to disappointment.
Look, I don't know what it is between you two, but she is my partner.
Here you go.
Trains come by every couple minutes.
Good night.
Clark, you said your relationship with Lois was "not defined.
" Well, professionally, it is.
Well, if you ever want to redefine yourself professionally or personally This is the final boarding call for Train 120 departing Who is it? Lois, it's me.
I'm sorry.
You didn't have to leave.
I was only gone a few minutes.
I'm a busy person, I have things to do.
I have to What? Scrub your grout? - You are really letting this woman get to - Get to me? All right.
This doesn't go beyond this room, you understand? Okay.
Linda and I were best friends.
We were very competitive.
You may not believe this but, there was a time when I had to be the best at everything.
Anyway, I was dating this guy, Paul.
He was an editor and he was a senior and I had a really big crush on him.
Things were happening and I got this story about these football players at our school that weren't taking their own exams.
I thought, "This is it.
" This is the story that's gonna make him feel about me the way I feel about him.
Did it? No, it didn't.
Because somehow Linda stole my story and wrote it under her name.
Of course, Paul fell for her and dumped me and she continued to please him in ways I won't go into.
So she stole a story and she stole a guy, and now she's trying to do it again? Don't flatter yourself.
Don't take this out on me, Lois.
Why not? You say yes to her party and yes to her lunch and yes to walking her home.
You're turning into her indentured servant.
So it's okay for me to be your servant but nobody else's? Clark, you are my partner and what you do reflects on me.
I don't want the world to know that my partner is a doormat for women.
That is not true, and you know it.
You want the truth? The truth is that you're a doormat with no taste.
That's it.
I'm out of here.
Forget it.
Fine! Perfect! Go! She's probably waiting for you.
You know, I'd love to hear her side of this whole story.
And I could tell her about how impossible you are to work with.
Really? Then why don't work with her, too? Maybe I just will.
You two deserve each other.
It's become very difficult working with Lois.
Her obsession with Linda King is affecting her performance.
Now I also have to think of my own future.
The Planet is a dying paper and I don't wanna be the one to have to turn out the lights.
We don't pull any punches here, Kent.
We make things happen.
I want you to go all out.
Yes, sir.
That's what I intend to do.
Then welcome to the Metropolis Star.
Thank you.
Perry, I just got off the phone.
I hate to be the one to tell you, but we have got a turncoat a Benedict Arnold, and you'll never believe who.
- Kent.
- CK? He came in here and offered to give two weeks' notice.
I told him he was free to go anytime.
So, well, he's gone.
Boy, just when you think you get to know someone It's her.
It's Linda King.
Don't you see what she's done? No, he's worried about his future, and the way things are going around here I really couldn't give him much of an argument.
Did he mention what kind of medical plan they got over there? You know what? Don't you see what she's done? She waves her skirt in front of him and he turns into some pathetic little puppy.
- Don't go jumping to conclusions.
- What about loyalty? - What about going down with the ship? - That's for captains.
That's why I'm still here.
How can you be so calm? What's my choice? Since I've been here I've seen you scream, I've seen you throw things.
I even saw you put your fist through the wall once.
The only thing we can do is just continue what we're supposed to be doing.
By the by, what you're supposed to be doing according to this, is covering the Irani jewels that the Ambassador of Omer is giving to Secretary Wallace as a lovely parting gift.
- Is that the best we've got? - No.
The best we've got is your editor-in-chief hanging from the top of the World Trade Center in a gorilla outfit.
But my costume hasn't arrived yet.
Now, I'm gonna page you when it does.
So get out of here.
And Lois it's gonna be all right.
Trust me.
That's what Clark told me.
Are you sure you don't mind me suggesting to Carpenter that we team up? I'm just mad I didn't suggest it first.
King.
Yeah, we're here in the main room.
Carpenter.
The man really keeps close tabs on you, doesn't he? If I tell you something, can you keep it between us? Sure.
Absolutely.
He's been hitting on me.
Don't worry, I only have eyes for you.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The Ambassador and myself will be happy to answer a few questions before the unveiling.
Mr.
Secretary, Clark Kent, Metropolis Star.
- What do you think - Mr.
Secretary.
Lois Lane, Daily Planet.
Is it true Excuse me, but I believe that Mr.
Kent was asking the question.
Mr.
Kent can speak for himself.
Maybe, except he's so used to you doing it for him.
You are such a hypocrite.
Me? You can sure dish it out but you can't take it.
Why don't you just get off your high horse? And get down in the gutter with you? Ladies, please! No questions, that's it.
Let's get to the real reason we're here the ceremonial exchange from the Kingdom of Omer to the United States.
Ladies and gentlemen, the gift from the Ambassador of Omer the Irani jewels.
There are three armed men behind that door.
You might wanna call the police.
Clark, you can run but you can't hide.
What's going on? - What do you mean? - Don't give me that innocent act.
Me? So that's the way you're gonna play this? - I get it.
She's here, isn't she? - No.
That's why you can't talk.
She's here.
Is she under the bed? Are you under the bed? Come out! - Come out, wherever you are.
- Lois.
Is she in there? This is either not what I thought I thought or Oh, no.
See, Clark's working undercover at the Star.
Oh, of course.
Of course.
Yes, you wouldn't throw everything that you have away on Linda King.
Well, you are right about that, Lois.
So talk.
Talk to me.
Okay, these accidents aren't accidents.
The arson fire that Linda just happened to be at the elevator cable that snapped during lunch.
There was even supposed to be a heist of the Irani jewels.
See, we thought that they might be staging these things to scoop us so we staged Clark's defection.
You could have told me that! No, that was my idea.
You seemed to be personally involved here and I didn't want to risk it.
So you mean I have been having all these feelings for nothing? What feelings? Forget it.
I'm not feeling them anymore.
This means that Linda is in this up to her surgically-sculptured chin.
No, I don't think so.
I thought that was it and that's why I asked to be partners with her but I think she's out of the loop.
So what do we do now? Well, now that you know you two might as well work on this together.
That is, if you still think that you can.
Oh, Chief, I'm fine.
It's Clark here that turns to mush every time Linda's around.
Me? You're the one who jumped in the black hole the minute she came to town.
Don't exaggerate.
"Clark, will you take me to the station?" I think I'll let you two work this out.
- I was just being polite.
- Oh, really? You would fly her to the moon if you could.
This can't be true.
It can't be.
Think about it.
Carpenter always calls to verify your location.
He doesn't have to do that.
He's your publisher.
Unless he needs to make sure that his man or woman is in place before he pulls the trigger on whatever he has planned.
Like the elevator cable.
The lab results are back.
Definitely cut, and it was no accident.
You just happened to be there, just like you were at the fire.
Just like Carpenter happened to have a front-page editorial ready for the same edition.
I just feel so Abused? Duped? Used? - What are you, a thesaurus? - Why don't you guys just put this on hold? Bottom line, it's a Planet story.
Absolutely.
Which we can't possibly prove or print without Linda's help.
Exactly.
But what am I supposed to do? Just say, "Hey, boss, where are you staging your next disaster?" Just get him out of the office long enough for us to break into his computer.
How? You could use your other talents.
It wouldn't be the first time.
Come in.
I only have a moment.
What can I do for you? I think the question is what can I do for you? I've been reading the latest sales projections.
Soon the Metropolis Star will be the most widely-read paper in the country.
And it's all because of you.
Congratulations.
Yes, may she be a beacon for the country.
I was hoping you'd like to join me for lunch as my guest, to celebrate.
That's very tempting, but like I say, I'm pressed for time.
Preston, even a busy publisher has to eat.
You know, after the other night I wasn't sure that you were interested in moving our relationship beyond just business.
Who would've guessed that a charming man like you would have any insecurities? Can we make it happen? Maybe we should just eat here.
No, let's go out.
Someplace nice.
Drinks, champagne, and whatever.
You're a very interesting woman.
And the day is still young.
We're in luck.
I know this program.
Quick, under here.
- What about you? - Just stay there.
Oh, that was close.
Where did you hide? Here.
Look, let's not waste any time in case he comes back.
So tell me.
What's next for Preston Carpenter? Running for President? Perhaps.
But only as an interim step.
Interim to what? My next goal is to convince the governments of the world that we need an international federation.
A United Nations with real teeth.
A government to govern all governments.
And who could possibly head such a body? I'm betting this is his subdirectory.
It might be it, but we need a password to get in.
Try Kane.
K-A-N-E.
Linda says he has a Citizen Kane fixation.
That's not it.
What else could it be? Rosebud.
Great minds think alike.
We're in.
Look, here's the editorial that ran with the hotel fire.
And of the building inspections that happened the day of the elevator accident.
Wait a minute.
"An eye for an eye is the only course this country can take "after today's brutal assassination of Secretary Wallace "at his hotel by Omer extremists.
" - Secretary Wallace isn't dead.
- Not yet.
Carpenter is willing to kill a member of the Cabinet to sell a few papers? To drag us into a war.
And he's also willing to kill Linda if he finds out that she's on to him.
Let's go.
- Lois.
- I'm coming already.
Hey, you two.
Take off.
They're on their way.
- He wants us inside.
- Go.
Everything's set.
The chef would like to see you in the kitchen.
All right.
Will you excuse me for a moment? - I'll come with you.
- No.
Please, just order dessert for us.
Here you go.
$5.
50.
Thanks.
What are you doing here? You're gonna blow everything.
Carpenter's gonna kill Secretary Wallace.
He's already written the editorial.
He's just waiting for your exclusive report.
Stay here while I go warn the Secretary.
I guess we know who calls the shots on your team.
You don't know anything.
Stay here, I'm going after Clark.
Nice try.
There they are.
Come on.
This way.
Right through the door, sir.
Okay, boys, gather around.
One of us should call the police.
The other should stay.
- Call the police.
- I was thinking you'd do that.
Think again.
- I'm here on the roof across the street.
- Right.
- You two set up here and here.
- Okay.
- You fire when you hear my shot.
- You got it.
What about your friend? I'll take care of her.
Well, my dear I guess I don't have to tell you that I've been detained, do I? I have to tell you I'm truly sorry that things turned out this way.
But then, the two of you are going to make a fantastic 48-point headline.
Breathe deeply, girls.
The Freon's better than freezing to death.
Life is cruel.
Don't get philosophical.
It was never your strength.
Well, don't you find it ironic that you and I have to die together? - We were best friends.
- Were.
Okay.
Let's clear this up once and for all.
Let's not.
If there is someone on the other side that asks, we'll just say we did.
You think I stole Paul Bender from you.
I didn't.
You weren't even dating him.
I was dating him.
He came on to me.
Well, you had no will power, huh? None.
I would've done anything for Paul.
Just like you had no will power when you stole my story.
Okay, so I was weak.
That doesn't mean I wasn't a good friend.
It just means that I wasn't as strong as you.
Wait a minute.
Just wait a minute.
You're backing into an apology by arguing that you stole my guy and my story because you were under the influence of your hormones? And because I was your best girlfriend, I was supposed to forgive you then? And I'm not suppose to make a big deal of it now? Is that what you're saying? Right.
Okay, I forgive you.
You'll be all right in a few minutes.
- You have to save him now.
- I know.
- Where did he come from? - I don't know.
- Come on.
Go.
- I'm going.
- Drive the car! What are you waiting for? - It's not moving.
- She did it again.
- What? The byline.
"By Clark Kent and Lois Lane.
"Special contribution by Linda King.
" - All right.
- How did she do that? Mr.
White is such a generous man.
You have no shame.
Yes, I do.
Not a lot, but some.
So, what's next for you? I've taken a job on the Coast.
You wanna keep our team together and come with me? I'm kidding.
- Lois, I want to say something to you.
- Don't.
When you accepted my apology, it meant a lot to me.
Not to me.
I thought I was dying.
I wanted a clean slate.
You don't mean that.
She doesn't mean that.
Okay, she means it.
Look at it this way.
Maybe you're the reporter you are because of the competition you felt with me.
Not only am I supposed to accept your apology, but I'm supposed to thank you? So, Linda, what paper are you going to work with on the Coast? No paper.
I'm out of the news.
I just optioned the film rights to my inside story to Preston Carpenter's fall from grace.
It's obscene how much money these Hollywood producers can throw at you.
So, who's gonna play you? I don't know.
They'll get some big name.
But I did have it put in my contract that I get to play one of the small parts.
What part is that? I'll try and do you justice.
Bye.
- Yeah, right.
I mean, you would know.
Sure, yeah.
First free throw gets the ball.
Okay.
Bo knows free throws.
What can I say? Bo knows jump shots.
Oh, no, don't tell me.
Bo knows hook shots.
You got it.
Bo don't know that.
The sales department has just sent down this little reminder.
But I'm gonna make it easy for everybody.
What it says is that ever since Preston Carpenter bought the Metropolis Star and started throwing his money around this town the Star has been selling twice as many newspapers as the Planet both newsstand and subscription.
Can anybody explain this to me? - Bigger type, smaller words? - No, Lois.
Carpenter's got reporters out hustling us on the street.
In the last month the Star has out-scooped us on every single major news story in this town.
Now what am I gonna lead off this afternoon's edition with that's gonna change all that? Secretary Wallace is in town to sign that nuclear arms treaty with Omer.
We're waiting to hear on one on one.
That'll really have them lining up at the newsstands.
Lois, if you got a better idea Police charity scams? At least it's local.
People, for 50 years the Daily Planet has been the top dog in this town and the Metropolis Star has been this dirty little puppy nipping at our heels.
Now, I don't mean to be an alarmist but unless we get some major news stories on our own the faces around here are gonna start changing.
Now, what we need is a good scandal.
- A crime wave - Hotel fire! - That'll do.
- There's a woman trapped on a ledge.
The fire department can't reach her.
Yes! Lois, Clark, shake some tail.
All right! I forgot something.
You go ahead, I'll catch up.
Help! If not for the incredible last-second rescue by Superman Excuse me, Superman.
Linda King, Metropolis Star.
Can you tell me what it was like up there? The smoke was very intense.
Visibility to the human eye, probably zero.
I'm just lucky that she held on till I got here.
A mother with three children, it would have been awful.
- Now, if you'll excuse me.
- Thank you.
Just another day in the life of a superhero.
That's it.
Thanks.
Great.
Bye.
Excuse me, Daily Planet.
What are you doing here? Lois, it's nice to see you, too.
What's it been? Six years since graduation? Unfortunately, you haven't changed a bit.
We're not starting this again.
I'm here on business for the Daily Planet.
I need to talk to Superman.
You just missed him.
He was very helpful.
Not only did he save the woman at the last second but he was nice enough to give me a quote for my story.
Your story? Haven't you heard? I'm working for the Metropolis Star.
And I believe you've just been scooped.
So you got scooped.
It happens.
Just focus on the next story.
Spare me the Smallville pep talk.
I wasn't just scooped.
A hideous part of my past just reared its ugly head.
Never let it be said that Lois Lane doesn't have a flair for exaggeration.
You don't know this woman, Clark.
She has no conscience.
She can't even spell it.
It was a dark day for the Daily Planet when Linda King rode into town.
Go ahead, mock me.
You don't know the depths to which this woman will stoop to get a story.
Or anything else, for that matter.
- Do I detect the scent of jealousy? - No.
You detect the smell of a rat and she just scurried in.
Hi, Lois, I thought we could get reacquainted.
Or not.
Hi, I'm Linda King.
Hi, Clark Kent.
I've heard a lot about you.
From Lois? Let me guess.
"Has no conscience.
Will stoop to anything.
" - See? - She's kidding.
No, I'm not.
And one more thing.
Stay away from Superman.
I guess Lois thinks Superman's her own personal source, doesn't she? You know, I'd really like to talk to him again.
Is that the reason you're here? Well, wouldn't an introduction fall into the category of professional courtesy? Sorry.
Then what should we talk about? I read your article on the hotel fire.
Very good work.
Thank you.
Surprising to hear you say that, though.
Just because we're competitors doesn't mean that we can't appreciate the competition.
I also liked the editorial that your publisher wrote demanding changes in the fire department.
He's a very powerful writer.
Preston Carpenter is a very powerful man, period.
By the way, he's having a party tonight at the Metropolis Press Club.
Do you wanna go? It's so last minute and I hate to go to those things alone.
So bring a date.
I'd ask you to be mine, but I already have one.
Okay, sure.
Great.
I'll see you tonight.
Bye, Lois.
All right, what did she want? She invited me, us, you and me to a dinner that Carpenter is throwing tonight.
Do you wanna go? How could you accept an invitation from her after everything I told you? Lois, we might learn something.
Oh, I'm sure that's the only reason Clark Kent, all-American boy, wants to go.
What time should I pick you up? You will not be picking me up.
I'll meet you there at 7:00.
Lois, you look incredible.
Have you seen Linda? Well, no one fields a compliment quite like you do.
I wonder what she's wearing.
Wild guess.
I'm thinking there's more to this rivalry than just who's the better reporter.
Am I right? Don't insult me.
I insulted you? There's no question who's the better reporter.
Hello, Charles, how are you? - Don't look at her.
- Lois, what a surprise.
You're Clark's date.
What else do you two do together? I thought you two might enjoy catching up.
What happened, Linda, your date stand you up? Of course not.
Follow me, I'll introduce you.
Lois, I love your dress.
You're so lucky.
I'd never wear anything off the rack.
- Preston.
- Linda.
You look so beautiful.
I'm at a lost for words to describe her.
I could help you there.
Preston, this is Clark Kent.
He's a reporter for the Daily Planet.
And his date, Lois Lane.
Preston Carpenter.
Actually, we're a reporting team.
The Daily Planet was a fine paper in its day.
Fine paper, but things change.
That's a lesson in life, I guess.
Either you make it happen or it happens to you.
Excuse me.
The Mayor would like to have a moment with you.
Yes.
Excuse me, will you? Well, now we know how you got your job.
Lois, you don't mind if Clark and I dance, do you? Where have you been? Fire department.
They think the hotel's a probable arson.
Get me some aftermath photos of investigators sifting through the rubble.
Why are you reading that tabloid rag? CK got his picture on the society section.
He's dancing with Linda King.
I need some good news.
Well, I wouldn't read the bulletin board.
- Why? - The paper's cut out expense accounts.
- They can't do that.
- Just did.
Memo says it's cutting costs due to lower circulation.
CK thinks that paid sick days are the next thing to go.
Where is Clark? I think he had a lunch date with Linda King.
If anybody wants me, I'll be at the Fudge Castle.
On my own money.
Since you were kind enough to read my work, I've been reading some of yours.
I'm impressed with you, Clark.
I'm not easily impressed.
Most of it was written with Lois.
That says even more about your talent.
Actually, I've learned a lot from her.
Clark, just what exactly is your relationship with Lois? It's not defined.
Define "not defined.
" Excuse me.
King.
I'm here at the Tri Crown.
Okay.
Carpenter.
He likes to know where his reporters are at all times.
Don't you log out? Sure, but nothing goes on at the Star without Carpenter's say-so.
He's the most hands-on publisher I've ever worked for.
Judging by the way the Star has been getting its stories lately I'd say it works for him.
We've just had a run of great luck.
It takes more than great luck to be in the right place at the right time.
I'd like to take credit, but truth be told I only nailed that fire story because I happened to be at the hotel covering a fashion show at the time.
Sort of like this? Sort of.
Can you tell me what happened? Yeah, a cable broke in the elevator.
The car is dangling on the 75th floor.
Clark? The cable snapped.
Let's move! Here, let me borrow your camera.
Superman! The afternoon edition.
Well done, Stark.
Don't you just love the news business? This wasn't easy.
It's not supposed to be easy.
I wouldn't need your services if it was easy, would I? Yeah, well.
How many more? As many as it takes to kill the Daily Planet.
Because then, Stark I will control over 80% of what the American people read.
And when you control what they read you control what they think.
And when you control what they think then you can really begin to make it happen.
Now, who knows what's wrong with this picture? I'm gonna tell you what's wrong with this picture.
What's wrong with this picture is that we have no picture.
Superman is the biggest story of the day.
And the only picture we got is a picture of a weather graph.
Now, could someone please explain this to me? Chief, the first diagram illustrates the amount of rainfall we're getting this year.
And the pie chart How could you let that bottom feeder scoop you like this? - Bottom feeder? - Why were you having lunch with her? What are you asking him for? If you want to know something, go out and buy the Star.
They know everything.
I bet they don't know how much rain we got this year.
People, I can assure you if we don't come up with some solid page-one stories PDQ the only writing you're going to be doing is writing your résumés.
Now, what have we got? Conference room.
Anybody? What in the sam hill am I supposed to tell my publisher if he calls? Well, whatever it is, he's waiting to hear it on line one.
Just a warning, folks.
I've seen papers shut down before, and it's not a pretty sight.
It ain't pretty at all.
I know Linda's writing style is absolutely mesmerizing, but please try not to drool.
How long are you gonna keep acting like this? Me? You're the one who's more concerned with being on the Star's society page than making the Planet's front page.
Is that what this is about? You're jealous because you think I'm infatuated with Linda King? I wouldn't care if you were infatuated with Don King.
What I care about is the quality of reporting at the Planet.
Then you should be happy to see this.
Okay, I see it.
When do I get happy? This is elevator cable.
I found it in the shaft after the accident.
Check out the end.
I don't feel happy but I am closing in on bored.
It's not frayed, Lois.
It's smooth, like it's been cut.
Cut? Then the accident Wasn't an accident.
- Somebody wanted the elevator to fall.
- Clark, do you know what this means? - I can scoop Linda.
- You? Yes, me.
I mean "us.
" I meant to say "us.
" Didn't I say "us"? Yeah.
Look, before we write anything, I want the lab to verify my - Our theory.
- Right.
Absolutely.
Of course.
Messenger! Get me a messenger! Let's sit down, grab a bite to eat.
Calm down.
You seem tense.
Tense? No, I am not tense.
I'm perfectly fine.
I'm just perfectly fine.
Are you the messenger? - No.
- Get me the messenger! All right, let's think this thing through.
Assume the elevator cable was cut.
Who would benefit from it? You'd kill a random person.
The building owner.
Insurance scam.
I don't know.
Welcome to the Press Club.
What's this? Looks like a promotion for the Star.
Yeah, look.
Every customer receives a free copy.
It's not bad enough Carpenter has to lower his newsstand price.
Now he's giving it away.
What are you looking at? Carpenter has an editorial demanding stronger building codes in light of the elevator accident.
He's calling for a criminal investigation into the manufacturers.
So? He's a fast writer.
It's in the same edition as Linda's article.
The man's a walking opinion.
He doesn't need to think much.
But still I'll be right back.
Order me angel hair with tomato and basil.
No olive oil, extra parmesan cheese.
Two page-one stories in as many days.
You should be very proud of yourself.
It's an unexpected start, I'll say that.
To me it's not unexpected at all.
You're a man of vision.
Isn't that what they say? I am a man of action.
Do you remember Charles Foster Kane? - Of course.
- My idol even though he was only a movie character.
I've devoted my time to becoming the genuine article.
- Aren't you already? - Not quite.
You see, Kane not only reported the news, he made it.
He set out an agenda for the entire country and then he had his papers promote that agenda and the country went along.
And soon, I will have that kind of power.
Does that excite you as much as it excites me? I don't think we should confuse our relationship.
My dear, if there's one thing I am not, it's confused.
I've got a deadline.
I've got to get back to the office.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Looking for your career? I lost my bracelet.
I've seen how you accessorize, Lois.
Believe me, it's not worth the effort.
Is there no getting away from you? I was wondering what you were doing here.
- I am a member.
- Oh, really? I thought members had to be working for an organization that was still in business.
Don't start swaggering yet.
Although on second thought, your hips could use a little exercise.
Speaking of bodies, that partner of yours? Great one.
Buns of steel.
How would you know? You don't need Superman's x-ray vision to figure that out.
Listen, Linda, I'm warning you, stay away from him.
You said that about Superman.
What is it with you? Clark's good-hearted and naive.
I wouldn't wanna see him get hurt.
I know you'd just be using him to get back at me.
For me to want to get back at you means you'd have to have done something that mattered to me.
Which you haven't.
Clark.
Can I ask a favor of you? He's working.
We're working.
Looks like you're having dinner.
You had lunch with the man.
Aren't you full yet? Would you please walk me to the train station? Clark, help her out, then lock the door behind her.
Such wit, Lois.
Maybe that'll help you pass the hours at the unemployment office.
Do you mind if I say something here? No.
Tell her no and let's eat.
She probably doesn't know her way around.
She knows her way around well enough to beat us out of two stories since she's been here.
Trust me.
There's a train station about two blocks from here.
I'll be right back.
Bye, Lois.
Come over to my place.
I'll build a fire and make some coffee.
Lois is waiting for me at the Press Club.
Lois should be used to disappointment.
Look, I don't know what it is between you two, but she is my partner.
Here you go.
Trains come by every couple minutes.
Good night.
Clark, you said your relationship with Lois was "not defined.
" Well, professionally, it is.
Well, if you ever want to redefine yourself professionally or personally This is the final boarding call for Train 120 departing Who is it? Lois, it's me.
I'm sorry.
You didn't have to leave.
I was only gone a few minutes.
I'm a busy person, I have things to do.
I have to What? Scrub your grout? - You are really letting this woman get to - Get to me? All right.
This doesn't go beyond this room, you understand? Okay.
Linda and I were best friends.
We were very competitive.
You may not believe this but, there was a time when I had to be the best at everything.
Anyway, I was dating this guy, Paul.
He was an editor and he was a senior and I had a really big crush on him.
Things were happening and I got this story about these football players at our school that weren't taking their own exams.
I thought, "This is it.
" This is the story that's gonna make him feel about me the way I feel about him.
Did it? No, it didn't.
Because somehow Linda stole my story and wrote it under her name.
Of course, Paul fell for her and dumped me and she continued to please him in ways I won't go into.
So she stole a story and she stole a guy, and now she's trying to do it again? Don't flatter yourself.
Don't take this out on me, Lois.
Why not? You say yes to her party and yes to her lunch and yes to walking her home.
You're turning into her indentured servant.
So it's okay for me to be your servant but nobody else's? Clark, you are my partner and what you do reflects on me.
I don't want the world to know that my partner is a doormat for women.
That is not true, and you know it.
You want the truth? The truth is that you're a doormat with no taste.
That's it.
I'm out of here.
Forget it.
Fine! Perfect! Go! She's probably waiting for you.
You know, I'd love to hear her side of this whole story.
And I could tell her about how impossible you are to work with.
Really? Then why don't work with her, too? Maybe I just will.
You two deserve each other.
It's become very difficult working with Lois.
Her obsession with Linda King is affecting her performance.
Now I also have to think of my own future.
The Planet is a dying paper and I don't wanna be the one to have to turn out the lights.
We don't pull any punches here, Kent.
We make things happen.
I want you to go all out.
Yes, sir.
That's what I intend to do.
Then welcome to the Metropolis Star.
Thank you.
Perry, I just got off the phone.
I hate to be the one to tell you, but we have got a turncoat a Benedict Arnold, and you'll never believe who.
- Kent.
- CK? He came in here and offered to give two weeks' notice.
I told him he was free to go anytime.
So, well, he's gone.
Boy, just when you think you get to know someone It's her.
It's Linda King.
Don't you see what she's done? No, he's worried about his future, and the way things are going around here I really couldn't give him much of an argument.
Did he mention what kind of medical plan they got over there? You know what? Don't you see what she's done? She waves her skirt in front of him and he turns into some pathetic little puppy.
- Don't go jumping to conclusions.
- What about loyalty? - What about going down with the ship? - That's for captains.
That's why I'm still here.
How can you be so calm? What's my choice? Since I've been here I've seen you scream, I've seen you throw things.
I even saw you put your fist through the wall once.
The only thing we can do is just continue what we're supposed to be doing.
By the by, what you're supposed to be doing according to this, is covering the Irani jewels that the Ambassador of Omer is giving to Secretary Wallace as a lovely parting gift.
- Is that the best we've got? - No.
The best we've got is your editor-in-chief hanging from the top of the World Trade Center in a gorilla outfit.
But my costume hasn't arrived yet.
Now, I'm gonna page you when it does.
So get out of here.
And Lois it's gonna be all right.
Trust me.
That's what Clark told me.
Are you sure you don't mind me suggesting to Carpenter that we team up? I'm just mad I didn't suggest it first.
King.
Yeah, we're here in the main room.
Carpenter.
The man really keeps close tabs on you, doesn't he? If I tell you something, can you keep it between us? Sure.
Absolutely.
He's been hitting on me.
Don't worry, I only have eyes for you.
Ladies and gentlemen.
The Ambassador and myself will be happy to answer a few questions before the unveiling.
Mr.
Secretary, Clark Kent, Metropolis Star.
- What do you think - Mr.
Secretary.
Lois Lane, Daily Planet.
Is it true Excuse me, but I believe that Mr.
Kent was asking the question.
Mr.
Kent can speak for himself.
Maybe, except he's so used to you doing it for him.
You are such a hypocrite.
Me? You can sure dish it out but you can't take it.
Why don't you just get off your high horse? And get down in the gutter with you? Ladies, please! No questions, that's it.
Let's get to the real reason we're here the ceremonial exchange from the Kingdom of Omer to the United States.
Ladies and gentlemen, the gift from the Ambassador of Omer the Irani jewels.
There are three armed men behind that door.
You might wanna call the police.
Clark, you can run but you can't hide.
What's going on? - What do you mean? - Don't give me that innocent act.
Me? So that's the way you're gonna play this? - I get it.
She's here, isn't she? - No.
That's why you can't talk.
She's here.
Is she under the bed? Are you under the bed? Come out! - Come out, wherever you are.
- Lois.
Is she in there? This is either not what I thought I thought or Oh, no.
See, Clark's working undercover at the Star.
Oh, of course.
Of course.
Yes, you wouldn't throw everything that you have away on Linda King.
Well, you are right about that, Lois.
So talk.
Talk to me.
Okay, these accidents aren't accidents.
The arson fire that Linda just happened to be at the elevator cable that snapped during lunch.
There was even supposed to be a heist of the Irani jewels.
See, we thought that they might be staging these things to scoop us so we staged Clark's defection.
You could have told me that! No, that was my idea.
You seemed to be personally involved here and I didn't want to risk it.
So you mean I have been having all these feelings for nothing? What feelings? Forget it.
I'm not feeling them anymore.
This means that Linda is in this up to her surgically-sculptured chin.
No, I don't think so.
I thought that was it and that's why I asked to be partners with her but I think she's out of the loop.
So what do we do now? Well, now that you know you two might as well work on this together.
That is, if you still think that you can.
Oh, Chief, I'm fine.
It's Clark here that turns to mush every time Linda's around.
Me? You're the one who jumped in the black hole the minute she came to town.
Don't exaggerate.
"Clark, will you take me to the station?" I think I'll let you two work this out.
- I was just being polite.
- Oh, really? You would fly her to the moon if you could.
This can't be true.
It can't be.
Think about it.
Carpenter always calls to verify your location.
He doesn't have to do that.
He's your publisher.
Unless he needs to make sure that his man or woman is in place before he pulls the trigger on whatever he has planned.
Like the elevator cable.
The lab results are back.
Definitely cut, and it was no accident.
You just happened to be there, just like you were at the fire.
Just like Carpenter happened to have a front-page editorial ready for the same edition.
I just feel so Abused? Duped? Used? - What are you, a thesaurus? - Why don't you guys just put this on hold? Bottom line, it's a Planet story.
Absolutely.
Which we can't possibly prove or print without Linda's help.
Exactly.
But what am I supposed to do? Just say, "Hey, boss, where are you staging your next disaster?" Just get him out of the office long enough for us to break into his computer.
How? You could use your other talents.
It wouldn't be the first time.
Come in.
I only have a moment.
What can I do for you? I think the question is what can I do for you? I've been reading the latest sales projections.
Soon the Metropolis Star will be the most widely-read paper in the country.
And it's all because of you.
Congratulations.
Yes, may she be a beacon for the country.
I was hoping you'd like to join me for lunch as my guest, to celebrate.
That's very tempting, but like I say, I'm pressed for time.
Preston, even a busy publisher has to eat.
You know, after the other night I wasn't sure that you were interested in moving our relationship beyond just business.
Who would've guessed that a charming man like you would have any insecurities? Can we make it happen? Maybe we should just eat here.
No, let's go out.
Someplace nice.
Drinks, champagne, and whatever.
You're a very interesting woman.
And the day is still young.
We're in luck.
I know this program.
Quick, under here.
- What about you? - Just stay there.
Oh, that was close.
Where did you hide? Here.
Look, let's not waste any time in case he comes back.
So tell me.
What's next for Preston Carpenter? Running for President? Perhaps.
But only as an interim step.
Interim to what? My next goal is to convince the governments of the world that we need an international federation.
A United Nations with real teeth.
A government to govern all governments.
And who could possibly head such a body? I'm betting this is his subdirectory.
It might be it, but we need a password to get in.
Try Kane.
K-A-N-E.
Linda says he has a Citizen Kane fixation.
That's not it.
What else could it be? Rosebud.
Great minds think alike.
We're in.
Look, here's the editorial that ran with the hotel fire.
And of the building inspections that happened the day of the elevator accident.
Wait a minute.
"An eye for an eye is the only course this country can take "after today's brutal assassination of Secretary Wallace "at his hotel by Omer extremists.
" - Secretary Wallace isn't dead.
- Not yet.
Carpenter is willing to kill a member of the Cabinet to sell a few papers? To drag us into a war.
And he's also willing to kill Linda if he finds out that she's on to him.
Let's go.
- Lois.
- I'm coming already.
Hey, you two.
Take off.
They're on their way.
- He wants us inside.
- Go.
Everything's set.
The chef would like to see you in the kitchen.
All right.
Will you excuse me for a moment? - I'll come with you.
- No.
Please, just order dessert for us.
Here you go.
$5.
50.
Thanks.
What are you doing here? You're gonna blow everything.
Carpenter's gonna kill Secretary Wallace.
He's already written the editorial.
He's just waiting for your exclusive report.
Stay here while I go warn the Secretary.
I guess we know who calls the shots on your team.
You don't know anything.
Stay here, I'm going after Clark.
Nice try.
There they are.
Come on.
This way.
Right through the door, sir.
Okay, boys, gather around.
One of us should call the police.
The other should stay.
- Call the police.
- I was thinking you'd do that.
Think again.
- I'm here on the roof across the street.
- Right.
- You two set up here and here.
- Okay.
- You fire when you hear my shot.
- You got it.
What about your friend? I'll take care of her.
Well, my dear I guess I don't have to tell you that I've been detained, do I? I have to tell you I'm truly sorry that things turned out this way.
But then, the two of you are going to make a fantastic 48-point headline.
Breathe deeply, girls.
The Freon's better than freezing to death.
Life is cruel.
Don't get philosophical.
It was never your strength.
Well, don't you find it ironic that you and I have to die together? - We were best friends.
- Were.
Okay.
Let's clear this up once and for all.
Let's not.
If there is someone on the other side that asks, we'll just say we did.
You think I stole Paul Bender from you.
I didn't.
You weren't even dating him.
I was dating him.
He came on to me.
Well, you had no will power, huh? None.
I would've done anything for Paul.
Just like you had no will power when you stole my story.
Okay, so I was weak.
That doesn't mean I wasn't a good friend.
It just means that I wasn't as strong as you.
Wait a minute.
Just wait a minute.
You're backing into an apology by arguing that you stole my guy and my story because you were under the influence of your hormones? And because I was your best girlfriend, I was supposed to forgive you then? And I'm not suppose to make a big deal of it now? Is that what you're saying? Right.
Okay, I forgive you.
You'll be all right in a few minutes.
- You have to save him now.
- I know.
- Where did he come from? - I don't know.
- Come on.
Go.
- I'm going.
- Drive the car! What are you waiting for? - It's not moving.
- She did it again.
- What? The byline.
"By Clark Kent and Lois Lane.
"Special contribution by Linda King.
" - All right.
- How did she do that? Mr.
White is such a generous man.
You have no shame.
Yes, I do.
Not a lot, but some.
So, what's next for you? I've taken a job on the Coast.
You wanna keep our team together and come with me? I'm kidding.
- Lois, I want to say something to you.
- Don't.
When you accepted my apology, it meant a lot to me.
Not to me.
I thought I was dying.
I wanted a clean slate.
You don't mean that.
She doesn't mean that.
Okay, she means it.
Look at it this way.
Maybe you're the reporter you are because of the competition you felt with me.
Not only am I supposed to accept your apology, but I'm supposed to thank you? So, Linda, what paper are you going to work with on the Coast? No paper.
I'm out of the news.
I just optioned the film rights to my inside story to Preston Carpenter's fall from grace.
It's obscene how much money these Hollywood producers can throw at you.
So, who's gonna play you? I don't know.
They'll get some big name.
But I did have it put in my contract that I get to play one of the small parts.
What part is that? I'll try and do you justice.
Bye.