Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman s04e12 Episode Script

Lethal Weapon

Okay, so far I'm up by a watch,|a belt and a pair of pants.
If you lose this hand,|you can just kiss that shirt goodbye.
Are you sure you don't moonlight|as a dealer in Vegas? Some people just have|a better card sense than others.
I will see your shirt and I will raise you everything else you have on.
I'll call.
What do you got? Full house.
Read them and weep.
- Two pair.
|- Yes! That was amazing|how you pulled that off.
You didn't happen to use|any of your? Lois, I would never use|a little to cheat at cards.
All right, you better shuffle them up|while you're hot.
Get ready to taste the agony of Oh, no.
Sounds like the bank alarm.
|I better check it out.
I know.
Besides, it'll give you a chance|to hone up on that card sense of yours.
Getting slower in your old age.
I would've been back sooner|but the strangest thing happened.
I flew over to the bank,|and just as I was coming in to land - " I" couldn't stop.
|- Couldn't stop what? Myself.
I hit the ground,|and next thing I knew " I'd" burrowed 50 feet|underneath the pavement.
- Are you all right?|- Yeah.
It was like I momentarily|lost control of my powers.
It turns out that no one|actually robbed the bank.
The door was jimmied open|to set off the alarm.
- How do you feel now?|- Fine.
Good enough to show you|that my last poker win was not a fluke.
Oh, don't look back, son.
|The future's what counts for us.
It's funny.
Most kids hang out|with their dads when they're little.
They lose track of them later on.
I never saw you when I was a kid.
Well, I'm sorry, I was only starring|in the biggest kiddie show of all time.
Being Mr.
Gadget was time-consuming.
No, Dad, hijacking ocean liners,|breaking into Fort Knox that's time-consuming.
Well, you can't say|your old man wasn't colorful.
And thanks for letting me hang my hat|here until I get myself back on my feet.
- It's the least I could do.
|- My prison was better than this dump.
Not that I blame you for your failures.
|It's your mother's influence.
No wonder you're boring,|scared and emasculated.
But when I started visiting you|in prison " I" saw you weren't a monster|like Ma said.
- You're brilliant.
|- Exactly.
It was me.
I mean, I was the fool.
Stuck in a nowhere job.
Passed up over and over again|for promotion.
Living a life of honesty.
Did you get my machine|out of the warehouse? Yes, sir.
Yes, I dusted it off myself.
|It's right over here.
- I missed this little baby.
|- What is it? This is an amped-up, souped-up,|turbocharged, low-frequency generator.
A picture's worth a thousand words.
You did that with sound waves? I think we finally have a father-son|activity we can enjoy together.
I don't guess you mean|remodeling my apartment.
Leveling Metropolis|was more what I had in mind.
How'd the interview go? Did you see Dr.
Klein? I realize you can't go running to him|for every little thing but you were 50 feet|under the pavement.
- All right.
|- Perry, you all right? I just got a call from Jerry.
He's in town.
He's coming by to visit.
Your son? That's great.
|I've never met him.
Well, he hasn't been around much lately.
|He spent the last couple years upstate.
I love it upstate.
What city was he in? Glenfield Springs.
Glenfield Springs?|There's nothing there but the prison.
I'm gonna go check the paper|in the fax machine.
I guess I shouldn't be so embarrassed.
I mean, people pass|bad checks every day.
Jerry passed them every day|for a month.
He did his time, Perry.
|You should be open-minded.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
It's just that we've never|gotten along very well.
I mean, when he was growing up|I spent all my waking hours here clawing out a living.
The only time I did see him was|when he wanted something or I had to bail him out of trouble.
Well, like it says, I guess: - "You sow what you shall reap.
"|- Dad? Jerry.
Have you been working out?|You look like you lost weight.
Hey, kid.
I brought you something.
- Jerry, you shouldn't have.
|- No big deal.
Paperweight from the prison gift shop.
- It's a beautiful tie.
|- Miss Lane.
It's been a long time.
|Your hair looks great.
New hair, new house.
- You should come by sometime.
|- Great, we can celebrate my new job.
How about tomorrow? Okay.
A job? Who are you working for? It's a big sales firm out of Cincinnati.
Deals in high-tech stuff.
- Well, son, how long you in town for?|- I'm not sure.
I've got some regional sales meetings|and a bunch of seminars.
I was hoping we could spend|some time together.
Oh, absolutely.
I'd like that.
Oh, Jimmy.
Jerry, son, I want you to meet Jimmy|Olsen.
You've heard me talk of him.
- Yeah, a lot.
|- It's nice to finally meet you.
Well, I can't be late for my seminar.
|I'll give you a buzz later.
Oh, boy.
If I If I hadn't seen this|with my own eyes " I" wouldn't have believed it.
- You sure you can handle Superman?|- I told you, don't worry.
You better be right.
All right.
- I got it.
Let's go.
|- Let's go.
All right, gentlemen.
|Hold it right there.
Come on, guys,|I got better things to do.
Sayonara, Supes.
Flying, check.
Super-hearing, check.
Super-strength check.
Now, let's have a listen|to your heart and lungs.
Now, take a deep breath and blow out.
Superman, your powers|have kicked into overdrive.
I knew that before I came in here, doc.
A little crabby today? I understand.
I'm sorry.
I guess the question is|what is causing this? Could be partial complex seizures brought on by random synaptic firing|in your temporal lobe.
Gee, that sounds terrible.
Look, I'm gonna run every test I can.
Then I want you to go home and relax.
|Soak in a tub and do nothing.
But I'm Superman.
So? You can't play a little golf? Superman, you have a medical condition|that is potentially dangerous.
Maybe not to you,|but to everyone around you.
Well, you're expensive,|but are you worth it.
One minute I think me and Lou|are dead meat, and then, zoom Superman ends up in another zip code.
|How'd you do it? Hey, how does David Copperfield|make a 747 appear in Times Square? With applied physics and the distracted attention|of his audience.
I watched you on TV when I was a kid.
|You were my idol.
Thank you, thank you.
- Take a hike.
|- Hey, I'm talking to the kid here.
Gadget has a death ray that will|make all your internal organs explode.
Call me.
So, kid " word" on the street is you're willing|to go up against Superman.
You're either crazy|or the bravest person I ever met.
Well, I'm not crazy.
|I spent some time in the joint.
Became friends with a guy|who discovered a very special rock.
- A rock?|- A rock that makes Superman go haywire.
Told me where to find it|and how to use it.
And why would he give you|something so valuable? He's gonna be locked away|for another 15 years.
He needed a partner on the outside that|could maximize the market demands.
And Superman can't just scan|for this thing when he shows up|with his x-ray eyes? I keep it in a lead box.
- I covered all the angles.
|- You're quite the lad.
You expect me to buy this,|you half-wit? I'm not knocking over a liquor store.
|I'm talking millions of dollars.
And the only thing that can|get in the way is Superman.
I need to know I can count on this.
Wait a minute.
|How about a demonstration? Yeah.
- Hi.
|- How was your checkup? Inconclusive.
What do we do now? Is there anybody|else you can see for a second opinion? - What am I saying?|- Honey, it's gonna be okay.
I promise.
- Dad?|- Hey.
Made my first sale yesterday,|so I brought you these to celebrate.
Oh, Jerry, you don't have to keep|bringing me gifts.
Oh, Clark.
Listen, I want you to meet|my son here, Jerry.
- Jerry, this is|- Clark Kent.
Hello, sir.
I consider you to be the dean|of contemporary American reportage.
Had to pull some strings to get them,|but nothing's too good for my old man.
Aren't these illegal? Well, it's nice to bend the rules|once in a while.
Well, thank you.
- Cubans.
|- These things are like 20 bucks a pop.
I guess I'm in the wrong business.
|Where'd you say you're working? AmPro Specialties.
- AmPro?|- I gotta get back to work.
Miss Lane, that dress just really|brings out the highlights in your eyes.
Perry, I don't remember Jerry|being such a charmer.
Me neither, but I'm not knocking it.
Is there something a little fishy|about Jerry to you? Jimmy, don't go there.
Consider me far away from there.
What's the matter?|Is everything all right? Honey, just relax.
It's cold coffee.
- Keeping the streets safe?|- For the time being.
To celebrate our upcoming adventure.
- Cuban? It's illegal!|- Right.
You have definitely|turned a corner, boy.
Well, you know, you get older,|family gets important.
Now, the frequency generator|has a highly directional beam that fires audio waves|with almost laser precision.
I will put the city on notice that|we're leveling the whole damn "place " unless we're paid $ 1 billion.
A billion? A billion? I mean, I never imagined.
Well, I'm going out with a bang, kiddo.
|And so are you.
And the city that did us in is gonna pay.
And we'll spend the rest of our days|hidden away, rich.
Yeah, fishing together and stuff.
Or playing baccarat.
Anyway, I spoke to that kid|who claims he can neutralize Superman.
If he ain't blowing "smoke " we can start counting our money.
Counting our money.
All I'm saying is that it may be very manly|not to show concern, even Supermanly " but" I'm your wife,|and we share concerns and how concerned are you? Okay, I'm concerned.
- But I do have a theory.
|- Good.
I'm sure you remember the time|I lost my powers because they were temporarily|transferred to you.
Yeah, the Newtrich sisters.
|What a nightmare.
Then there was that time|I had my powers but I was completely apathetic.
Gene Newtrich.
- He told his sisters how to use|- Red Kryptonite.
Okay, Gene Newtrich has the only|known stash of Red Kryptonite " and" it's possible|that it wasn't completely exhausted.
And he or his sisters could've|told somebody else how to use it.
We'll make a list of people they came|in contact with in the last few years.
Everyone at the Metropolis|Federal Penitentiary the lawyers, the friends, relatives|- Honey, you're doing that manic thing.
- Oh, that's just how I deal with anxiety.
|- I know, but it's making mine worse.
- It's Perry.
|- Perry.
Oh, God, I totally forgot.
I don't even have crackers|and Cheez Whiz.
- As I was saying, Jerry|- Perry, Jerry.
Oh, I'm glad you came.
It was nice of you to invite us.
|I hope you didn't go to a lot of trouble.
Actually, no trouble at all.
Oh, this is fabulous.
Two bottles of water, a couple|of lemons and a half a tuna sandwich.
And this is frozen solid.
I guess|I could beat myself to death with it.
Maybe I can do something else with it.
Are you sure you wanna try that,|considering? Come on, honey, just a little zap.
I mean, we don't have anything else|to feed the boss.
Give it the equivalent of two hours at|40O degrees and we'll be in business.
No problem.
That's it.
Hold it right there.
Time's up.
|We're moving into seriously well-done.
- I can't turn it off.
|- Clark! Duck! - What the sam hill was that?|- I don't know.
Look out! Lois, is everything okay in there? - Everything's just fine.
|- Good.
Turn on the water.
Lois, get down.
Are you all right? I think so.
So sausage or pepperoni? First thing in the morning, we'll get to|the bottom of this Red Kryptonite thing.
Man, just when I start feeling|like a normal, everyday guy something like this happens.
You know, Lois,|for the first time in my entire life I feel like I could actually hurt|innocent people.
Well, you'd never knowingly|hurt anyone.
You're a careful and caring person.
And like I said, we're gonna get|to the bottom of this.
Lois, honey? Honey, what's the matter|with your arm? - Where did you get that bruise?|- That bruise? I bumped into a cabinet or something.
|You know I'm always running into things.
No, you're not.
Wait a minute.
Don't tell me I gave you that|when I hugged you.
- Clark, it's nothing.
|- Honey, I'm so sorry.
I can't even feel it.
Clark, it was an accident.
|Where are you going? - Downstairs.
|- What? No, you don't have to that.
I'm like a loaded gun.
|It's not safe for you to be around me.
I'm compiling a list|of Newtrich's business "associates " his cousins, aunts, uncles,|nieces, nephews, you name it.
I got Jimmy working on a list|of recently released convicts " who" might've been inside with him.
So I'll tell Perry|you aren't feeling a hundred percent.
The problem is,|I'm feeling about 700 percent.
- Well, I should get going.
|- Yeah.
Love you.
All cars in the vicinity|of Main and Third.
Two-eleven in progress|at Valente's Jewelers.
No, no, no.
Look out! - You okay?|- It's Superman.
Sorry about that, guys.
Thank you all for coming|on such short notice.
I'll be brief.
There's been concern over the damage|to the downtown area caused by Superman.
I have been assured by Superman|that he will personally take care of it and that it happened accidentally while|testing a new crime-stopping procedure.
Everyone in Metropolis can rest easy|that things are fine and back to normal.
- Over here, please.
|- Superman, what are you doing here? I try to be everywhere, Your Honor.
Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor may|not be fully briefed on my situation - " so" I'd like to add a few words.
|- But As you know, there have been|a lot of rumors concerning my condition.
Rumors are far more dangerous|than the truth.
And I never hide from the truth.
I have a small health problem.
My doctors are treating me and they|expect a full and complete recovery.
That is all.
Thank you.
Yes, I was going to get to that part,|Superman.
- No questions.
Thank you for coming.
|- Thank you very much.
Superman, a word.
I appreciate your situation,|but you must appreciate mine.
Panic would ensue|if the community felt that a being as powerful as yourself|were out of control.
Mayor, I am not out of control.
Be that as it may I request that for the time being you|let the city handle its own emergencies.
- Your Honor, with all due respect|- I don't wanna have to order you.
Metropolis is off-limits to you.
I'm sorry.
Lois, here's the list you wanted.
Every inmate in the pen|at the same time as this guy.
- Thanks.
|- I came across something else Lois, thanks again for dinner last night.
|You order up a mean pizza.
Jimmy, I need those Superman|destruction photos.
- Sure, chief.
|- Superman destruction photos? - He just trashed part of downtown.
|- What? Came by to see if my old man|had time for java.
Oh, I'd like that, son,|but as you can see " I'm" up to my armpits here|in a breaking news story.
- Oh, well, it's just like old times, huh?|- Well, it's okay.
- I guess I'll have to give you this now.
|- Oh, Jerry No, I didn't get you a birthday present|last year or one for the past 20 years.
Yeah, I need those pictures.
Thought it was about time.
Oh, son, I don't know what to say.
The expression on your face says it all.
- I'll let you get back to work.
|- No, no, no, hold it, hold it.
I I'll walk you to the elevator.
Oh, son, this is This is just beautiful.
- Thanks.
|- Yeah, thanks, Eddie.
As I was saying|before the boy wonder blew in - I'm sorry, Jimmy, I gotta go.
|- He said he worked at AmPro, right? Something rang a bell,|so I did some checking.
They went out of business|two months ago.
Well, maybe he got a little confused|with the name.
What about the clothes? The cigars?|He just gave Perry a gold Rolex watch.
Now, you don't make that kind of money|working as a sales trainee.
I pulled up a list of what was stolen|from the jewelry-store robbery.
A gold Rolex watch.
All very good points.
|All very circumstantial.
What's really important|is this is Perry's son.
- Understand?|- Yeah, I hear you.
Gentlemen, extraordinary.
So, what did you boys have in mind? We'll destroy every building|in the city unless we get a billion dollars.
That's hilarious.
You're kidding, right? He's kidding? Let me get back to you.
As of now, we're partners.
If you tell anyone or try to back out we'll make sure you go to jail|for a very long time.
And for a little added incentive,|we'll kill your father.
- Got a minute?|- Just the person I wanted to see.
Dad, there's something|I really need to talk to you about.
Son, me too.
Since it's something I should've said|from the very start, I should go first.
Jerry, these gifts are|They're so impressive.
But they're unnecessary.
You've already given me the greatest gift|by turning your life around so completely.
- Dad|- And you've done it without me.
Like you've lived most of your life|without me.
Jerry, well, those days are over.
Dad Oh, Dad, what are you doing? Son, I know what a young man|in your position makes.
I also know you're under a mountain|of debt from that bad-check business.
Well, I wanna help you out from under.
Oh, my God.
What did you?|You cashed out your retirement.
Let me tell you something.
You don't have to work so hard|at impressing me, son.
I'm already impressed.
Now, what were you gonna tell me? Clark? - What happened?|- I hiccupped.
- What?|- I hiccupped.
And our house turned into|The Poseidon Adventure.
Then what? I swallowed a teaspoonful of sugar,|I held my breath.
Just like my mom taught me|when I was a kid.
This is unbelievable.
The one thing I could always count on|my entire life my strength,|it's become my biggest weakness.
Okay, okay.
Just calm down|and just sit here and let me tell you the good news.
Okay, good.
- I think Perry's son is behind all of this.
|- What? He's been flashing around|a lot of money and the place where he works|is out of business.
The same day that jewelry store|was robbed he gave Perry a new watch.
|The exact kind that was stolen.
So I followed him to this little bar and I|saw him talking to a couple of guys one of whom we helped bust for a|series of robberies a couple of years ago.
The guy gave him some money.
|A lot of it.
Did they say anything|about Red Kryptonite? I couldn't hear everything,|but the word "protection" came up.
My powers have gone out of whack the last few times|I've tried to stop these robberies.
You're thinking that Jerry's getting paid|to mess me up with Red Kryptonite.
So all we have to do is find out|where he's stashing it and get rid of it.
Great! Lois, honey, I can't go out|there like this.
It's not safe.
Do you think you could|go solo for a while? Yeah.
It's okay.
Superman, teams of scientists are trying to lick this Red Kryptonite|thing as we speak.
Please be patient.
Stop pacing, you're wearing a trench|in the floor.
I'm not used to being patient, doc.
|There has to be some solution.
Perhaps you might consider exploring|an alternative approach.
I just can't stand|the frustration of doing nothing.
- What do I do?|- Lie down.
- Lie down?|- Your approach has always been to act.
To move forward.
|This time, try turning inward.
Find that deep mental focus that will|enable you to control your powers.
Game? Okay.
Picture in your mind's eye|a white beach gentle surf clear blue skies|caressed by graceful clouds.
The songs of chimps|afire with the mating urge.
- Dr.
Klein?|- Sorry.
Often we find that true power|comes to those who first agree to be powerless.
You know, I do feel relaxed.
Calmer than I've felt in days.
I feel good.
- I found it.
|- What? The connection|between Jerry and Gene Newtrich.
It seems Jerry was held at Metropolis|Fed en route to Glenfield Springs.
Not long enough|to be logged in as a resident.
But long enough to meet up with|a certain Superman-obsessed inmate.
But, Jimmy " I" don't wanna break Perry's heart|unless we've got hard facts, okay? - Yeah.
|- Hey, what's with the monitors? - It's on every station.
|- Look at this.
- Hey, guys, take a gook at this.
|- "Hi, ladies and gentlemen.
" This is Mr.
Gadget speaking.
Gadget? Wasn't he paroled|on good behavior? I think he switched back to naughty.
What you are seeing is the Kerr Building|on the outskirts of town.
Luckily, it's been abandoned|for months.
I say "luckily" because The same thing will start happening|to the buildings downtown unless I get $ 1 billion.
Now, the mayor has details|on where to wire the money.
If it's not in my account|by 5:00 this afternoon the city will be reduced to rubble,|starting with the Hall of Justice.
And you know I can do it.
I'm Mr.
I can't get the whole thing powered on.
Klein, where's Superman? In a soundproof room, finding his center.
- Don't you know what's going on?|- No, we just got back our electricity.
Hi, Lois.
I'm feeling very calm.
Well, that's good.
And I don't|want you to get excited, but Mr.
Gadget is threatening to destroy|the city unless he gets $ 1 billion.
- What?|- Calm yourself.
Turn inward.
Klein, line two.
Bernard, isn't STAR Labs going|to do anything to stop this madman? Nowhere in my annual budget|is there $ 1 billion for extortion.
If this guy's for real,|he'll start vaporizing "buildings " and killing thousands of people.
|- What do you think we should do? Certainly not cave in to extortion.
I think you should request|that Superman get back in action.
My colleagues say that the building|that collapsed on TV is consistent with bombardment by high-intensity, low-frequency|sound waves.
We need to look for a device|that could generate those waves.
Which could take months, unless Oh, for God's sake.
All right.
You realize I can't guarantee that you're|at 100-percent combat status.
That's okay, doc.
Just as long|as I'm not at 700 percent.
Could I see you for a minute, Bernard? Look, I'm gonna tell you this once.
|Once and for all.
Next time anything like this happens Yes.
Do you understand what I'm saying? What was that all about? They're a bit concerned|that Superman may still go berserk.
And I am absolutely forbidden,|under any circumstances to tell you that Kryptonite|is being removed from our vault and formed into bullets.
That a marksman will be on Superman's|tail to take him out if things go wrong.
- What?|- Whatever you do, don't tell Superman.
The money has not been deposited, Dad.
It's time to show them|we mean business.
Well, this will be one memorable|father-son outing.
All right, kid, he's coming right at you.
Here we go.
Remember your orders.
|Hold until I say go.
Yes, sir.
All right, everyone stand back.
- Now.
|- Come on.
Now! Hey, remember your father, kid.
- Dad, he's not doing it.
|- Here he goes.
Jerry, what are you doing? - Dad.
|- Jerry, whatever trouble you're "in " we can work it out together.
That's it.
That's it, kid.
Keep it coming.
Take his old man out.
Superman, he's the one|behind all of this! - Behind what? He's crazy.
|- Son, he's a policeman.
Not much of what I say is true,|but this is.
He's behind this.
- "Take the shot.
"|- Superman, duck! Right there, see? - Superman, it was a kryptonite bullet.
|- It's all right.
It just grazed me.
- Thanks to your|- Big mouth? I don't believe this.
Excuse me, there's a Gadget|that needs fixing.
Next time I start over,|I really am starting over.
We'll be here.
Yeah, I'm sure Superman|will put in a good word for you for doing the right thing at the end.
Thank you, Dad.
I really wanted to believe|he'd changed.
I guess I was just blind|to the obvious, huh? Maybe I'm "crazy " but I really believe|the kid started to love me.
- I do too.
|- Yeah, well, good night, you two.
Oh, honey, can? Can you see this gets back|to where it belongs? So how are you feeling? You got a little|of that kryptonite in your bloodstream.
Yeah, but just a little,|and ever since then the effects of the Red Kryptonite|seem to be completely gone.
Maybe a little green|counteracts the red.
So you wanna go back home|and finish our little poker game? Oh, okay.
You don't stand a chance.
You're probably right.
Excuse me, what did you just do? You were such a good poker player I figured that might be as close|to a win as I get tonight.
You should let me know when you're|doing that.
I'll put on my good lingerie.