Long Way Down (2007) s01e07 Episode Script

Laisamis, Kenya to Rwanda

Back in 2004,
my friend Charley Boorman and I
rode from London round to New York, east.
And we called the trip the Long Way Round.
We did it! New York!
It's Ewan and I living out a dream
on motorbikes.
Shortly after we got back,
we decided it was definitely something
that we wanted to do again.
We started talking about Africa.
And we're calling this trip Long Way Down.
We're gonna ride 15,000 miles
through 18 countries.
From John O'Groats,
through Europe and into Africa.
Across Libya to Egypt,
following the Nile south into the Sudan.
Crossing the equator
and over to the Skeleton Coast.
Arriving in Cape Town
85 days later.
We're gonna give these guys video cameras,
and they'll also have cameras
with microphones on their crash helmets,
so they can film as they're riding along.
There's a bit of tarmac.
Look at that!
A third motorcycle will travel with them,
and on that motorcycle will be Claudio,
a cameraman.
In addition, Russ and I will travel in
two 4x4s with Jimmy, another cameraman,
Dai, our medic, and Jim,
a cameraman who will help with security.
We'll be filming the guys
from the vehicles,
linking up with them at borders.
But otherwise,
the motorcycles will be on their own.
Got sun on my face ♪
Sleeping rough on the road ♪
I'll tell you all about it ♪
When I get home ♪
Comin' round to meet you ♪
The long way down ♪
This is the river
they've been talking about,
and we thought, "That's it.
We're going to have to go around."
But this path here is actually quite firm.
So we could just walk the bikes again
along here,
tractor it across the stones,
across there,
and do you think we can get
across the river?
- Yeah, I think here is I think so.
- We've got to, haven't we?
- If we're just careful.
- Yeah.
The key thing is to get one of our cars
over so the winch is on the other side.
Russ, it's definitely doable
for the cars and stuff.
It might be a bit of a shit fight.
But it's really important
that the bikes go first,
because otherwise it'll churn up too much
and then it'll be impossible.
I mean, we're not gonna be able
to get it out of there,
- unless we come out of that rut there.
- It has to be that rut.
- We'll use that rut there.
- Okay, so we aim for this.
Aim for this.
Aim for that
- Okay, aim for that.
- Aim for there, right?
And then try and get it across here.
Try and get across here.
And look, where this path's gone here,
- this is all solid.
- Yeah, yeah.
- And then just pop it straight across.
- Pop across, good.
That's what that soldier said.
One, two, three, reveal.
I cut you.
- So I go first? Or you
- No, I'll go first.
- I get the choice.
- Okay.
So you All right, good.
Good luck, chaps.
Well done.
He made it look really easy,
didn't he? Charley? Whoops.
It's quite tiring when you're doing
the clutch as well, you know?
You feel like you have
such a responsibility.
We managed to walk the bikes
through the mud,
and it actually turned out
to be a lot easier than we thought.
With the help of the locals and listening
to locals about which way to go,
we chose the beautiful route.
One, two,
three motorcycles and
a dry road.
In actual fact,
it comes across much easier
to get a bike across than it does a car.
You know, you get stuck with a car,
and you've got tons of metal to move.
And this is just fun. And I know
it's not nice going through the fesh fesh,
and at the time you hate it,
but when you get through it
and you've done the river and everything,
it's just a laugh, you know?
But it's tougher in the cars,
definitely tougher in the cars.
And look, you can just look over here.
Come over this side.
And look, there's Ewan on the dry.
See the dry, desert road just going off?
I think some like 15 kilometers this way
is the gravel road
that we were on yesterday
that we all thought was horrible,
and now just think is like paradise.
If you get one through,
then it's easy to get the others through.
But I reckon another hour or so, maybe.
We can't even get one across
at the moment,
so I'm just taking the time.
I'm doing a bit of a few things
that I needed to do on my bike.
I'm fixing my screen with some cable ties.
I was gonna do a little video diary.
I might phone Eve.
Just have a little relax,
because there's nothing I can do there.
They don't need me to do anything there.
I'm just sorting my stuff out, you know?
That's it, that's it, that's it
We're certainly in the landscape now
that I imagined being in.
Waking up in my tent this morning
and opening the tent up,
and the sun was just peeking
above the mountain,
the rocky mountain across the way,
and my bike was sitting outside,
and I thought,
"Oh, yes! This is the life.
This is the life."
It's all kicking off here in the river,
so, maybe I'll go
and stick my camera on that.
That was the donkey, not me.
Oh, here comes Russ.
He's doing a good job of it.
All right, straighten your wheels.
Go, go, go. Straight, straight, go, go.
Stop! Stop. Good, stop.
If you could just wait
for the camera for a minute
I couldn't find zoom and
I'm gonna put that strop around that tree,
hopefully low enough to the ground
that it won't just pull it out.
So Jim's doing that,
and we've got about 30 foot of this.
And this time, we should be able to do it.
I didn't think we'd get it that far.
But we've stopped before we get it stuck,
because as soon as you bed it down
too much, then we're lost.
Just keep the pace. That's it, that's it.
That's it.
Just come slowly.
Hang on, hang on. Let the winch out.
Well, that's one over, eh?
Mind your fingers.
Let's get Dave's car through,
because then we can get two winches
onto that one
and pull it through, no problem.
Watch out, Jimmy! Get out of the way!
Come on, Dave! Come on!
Go, go, go
Come on.
Come on!
Terrible. I mean, I missed it.
It's all very well for him, but he's just
not going to be in the movie, you know?
Yeah, you're home, mate. Keep going.
You're three foot from the dry.
You're on the dry now.
Yeah, you ready? Go for it.
It was the first time that
we'd come upon an obstacle
that we had to overcome as a team.
It was very exciting,
very Boys' Own stuff. It was great.
Three bikes and three cars.
It's good to have a winch.
We're grateful you're here.
Otherwise we'll have been camping here.
It's good to have a winch.
Okay, we're back on the road
after the river crossing.
We're all covered in dust.
But it's fun.
And also, it brings us together
as a bit of a team.
Hey, there they are! Look at this!
There's my first zebras.
All right, brothers!
- It's your posse, man.
- All right, man.
Since we did my paint job here
on the side tank in London,
this is my first sighting of my brothers,
my zebra brothers, look.
And sisters.
I've never seen a zebra in the wild
in my life. Have you?
They've got much bigger ears
than I thought.
That's the long-eared variety,
that's why that is.
Were they shagging donkeys then
at some stage?
Cool, right?
I think this is it.
I think this is the tarmac.
Oh, my God, it is.
Oh, my God, that's good.
That's nice!
So, we're staying close to the cars
because there are elephants
lurking about, apparently.
I mean, what we do
if we come across an elephant
is anybody's guess.
Wow, look at that.
Oh, my God.
Okay, that'll do. Yep.
Yeah, yeah. That might do fine.
Tomorrow, just watch out for the elephant,
watch out for the buffalo and the rhino.
Because it's the big beasts
that will get you by day.
It's the cats that
you worry about by nighttime.
Sand, mud, rivers,
winching cars, pushing bikes, gravel,
lots of falls.
A good day.
Tomorrow, hopefully before
you go, you'll get to see some rhino.
Yeah, yeah, but what's over here?
They are there.
There's the rhino. Look, it's out there.
Wow, it's like a family of them.
Wow, look at the length of the horn.
Check out the length of the horn.
I've never seen a rhino You know,
I've seen them in captivity, but
I've only ever seen them
with stumpy little nubs.
That's a huge, big, long one.
Yeah, it's massive. Massive.
There's an ostrich. Look at that.
They're enormous. Are you kidding?
There was one yesterday.
I was riding along
and one came out of the bush
and just straight past me.
Full chat.
That's like a joke.
That's got to be someone in a suit, right?
Look at the legs. They're just tough.
I mean, that's like a dinosaur foot,
isn't it? It's like a dinosaur leg.
Yeah. Amazing.
It seems quite inquisitive, though.
Here's some more of my friends.
This is the second kind of zebra.
The stripes are much finer
and the ears are bigger and rounder.
Look, it's absolutely beautiful.
- Look at her.
- It's Lola.
Look! It's a baby rhinoceros.
Amazing, 56 days old.
- She's a black rhino.
- Yeah.
Was she rejected by her mother?
No, her mother is blind, so she can
not take care of her properly.
At night I sleep next to her
with a blanket.
- Do you?
- Yeah.
We will just be with her for about
four to seven years,
until she can take care of herself.
In 24 hours, we feed her,
every other three hours, one bottle.
And we are two guys,
so we have to make shifts.
And for ten years ago
there was a lot of poaching,
but for now it's coming good.
Here at Lewa we have about
more than 100 rhinos,
so its population is coming up.
- Well, good luck. Good luck.
- Thank you.
- Well done.
- Yeah, brilliant.
Then they look after her
for the next four to seven years
to make sure she's all right,
and then one day, she'll wander off.
Twenty-four, seven. It's just like a baby.
You know, when our kids were babies,
you'd feed them every three hours,
they sort of get feisty a bit
after you feed them,
and then they collapse.
It's just like a little baby. She's so
so cute.
I don't know, but it seems
the further we get into Africa,
the better it gets.
We're nearly at the equator.
So, as you can see, we've ridden
from John O'Groats to the equator.
This is our mate Jogoo here,
who's going to show us a demonstration
about the water going down the plug hole.
Take it away, Jogoo.
This is the northern hemisphere.
We're 20 paces up from the equator.
Twenty meters north of the equator.
If I put my indicator,
as it will take motion
- Yeah.
- Oh, it goes clockwise.
- Clockwise.
- It goes clockwise direction.
Exactly. Northern hemisphere.
Northern hemisphere.
And now we go to the southern hemisphere.
Sorry, we like to do things quickly.
So, now we're on the southern hemisphere,
20 meters on the other side
of the equator.
And technically, it should go
the other way around.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
God, I remember being in the northern
hemisphere like it was yesterday.
Let it drain exactly due
to the force of gravity.
If you put the indicator
- Anticlockwise!
- you see now it turns anticlockwise.
To state you are standing
at the southern hemisphere.
Totally, clearly anticlockwise.
- Now what happens in the middle?
- Less of a rotation.
I mean, we all know that this works,
but it's amazing to see
in the flesh, isn't it?
Yeah. Exactly now,
we are standing zero degrees.
There is less of a rotation.
Okay. Oh
- So this shouldn't rotate?
- This shouldn't rotate.
- Give that a minute.
- You'll see.
- Look at that.
- As we're at the equator line,
as it drains, it will make no rotation.
Equal forces pulling each other.
Equal forces, like a magnet.
That's amazing.
Well done, Ewan. Hey, hang on.
- All right, northern hemisphere
- How is it in the southern hemisphere?
Well, it's kind of similar to the north.
I tell you what, it's just great
in the northern hemisphere today,
- but I fancy a bit of a change.
- Oh, okay.
Last night, we arrived at this hotel,
Hotel Kunste and
Anyway, private joke.
And woke up this morning, I was talking
to a security guard out here.
He was talking about goats
and how delicious goats were in Naivasha
because of the grass.
And I said,
"Oh, how far away is Naivasha?"
He said, "Half an hour drive away."
And that's where
Rod Jones is an old, old friend of mine,
who lives there.
And I thought, "Christ, half an hour away.
We've got to go and see him."
So that's where we're going.
- How are you?
- Yeah, good.
Good, I'm so glad you made the effort
to come by.
- It's so good to see you.
- Yeah, it's good to see you, Charley.
- Especially here.
- It's unexpected.
- It's nice to see you unexpected, as well.
- I know.
- Well, the timings and stuff, you know?
- You never know.
We're planning four, five days in advance.
So you've got to get up to Eldoret
for tonight?
It's such a shame
you haven't got more time
because I could have taken you
for a quick flight around the lake.
Otherwise, you could stay
and leave at 4:00 in the morning.
And then just go straight there
to the border.
We've decided to hang out here
for the day.
And we're gonna leave
We're supposed to be at the
I put all my clothes in to be washed.
- She lent us
- She lent some shorts.
It's not probably my sexiest look ever,
but then again, maybe it'll do it
for some girls out there.
So this is what women
should really be doing.
All this stuff that they're too weak
to do things is all rubbish.
Children in the back.
Sick bags are here, yeah?
I'd ask you not to do that.
He uses dustbin liners,
because there's a lot of vomit.
We'll coming up over the lake just now,
so look out for the hippos and stuff.
Oh, yeah. Great.
They must know you well here, Claire.
Get ready,
I'm doing a steep turn here. Hold on.
- Oh, Jesus! Jesus, you said
- Fuck me!
Hold on, boys.
Oh, thanks for the warning.
So how high are we?
We're about 100 feet above the water.
No, we're not. We're about
It looks as though
we're about 20 feet above the water.
This is Crater Lake.
If I look a bit
Okay, there's a big pod
coming up on the right.
Oh, my God. Yeah! Hippos.
There they are. God, a lot of them.
A lot of them!
That steep turn did me in
a bit there, Claudio.
Good man.
We're gonna have sundowners
on the left in the trees just over there.
Low level. That really was
I don't think I've ever flown that low.
It's so much more fun. I love it.
- It's good fun, isn't it?
- Fantastic.
No one's thrown up. Sick bags are empty.
No. I always like to throw up
when I get out of the plane.
Can I just point out, at this juncture,
zebra, hippos.
You're saying this is your everyday life.
For us, it's like going to the zoo.
When I was here
when I did the Dakar Rally
Did you do the Dakar Rally?
- I did, on my motorbike actually.
- Did you? Man of many talents.
I broke my hand.
If you have half an hour,
I have a slides how in the car.
I've only ever seen a hippo in a zoo.
I don't think I've even seen that.
Look, he's actually coming
up this way, guys.
We're at the Ugandan border.
We're about to leave Kenya.
We're about to enter Uganda
which leaves us eight countries
to go through in Africa.
And this is the process
where it could take an hour, take a day.
In the past, it took us a whole night.
We don't know.
But one thing we do know is that
we're here and we love each other
and that's all that matters really,
at the end of the day.
Looking forward to going
to Uganda, another country.
Hopefully, if we get
out of here early enough,
we're going to go
and see a coffee plantation.
That's a very good sign.
We've been here five minutes
and we got the passports stamped already.
Just got relaxed
and then we're ready to go.
Too quick, these guys.
See you in London.
Here we are, Charley.
Nice one, brother.
Well, first impressions are that Uganda
is incredibly green, lush.
The people all seem very friendly.
So we're heading
to the fair trade coffee plantation.
Thank you very much.
- Malembe.
- Malembe.
These buildings are owned
by an organization of farmers
and they grow coffee
and they sell it
through the primary societies.
And they bring it here.
Then we prepare it for export.
So how many people do you employ here?
We employ upwards of 500 people.
There's about 3,000 farmers who all give
their coffee to this cooperative.
And basically, what's happening is
the farmers are all getting a fair price.
And that's the bottom line of it.
And they encourage all the farmers
in the area to go organic.
That's the bad one,
and that's the good one.
And this is what these ladies are doing.
This is much too quick for me.
I can't see any.
Oh, there's one. There's one.
Maybe we should give up
the acting, Charley.
- There.
- Okay, okay, okay.
But it means that they don't get
ripped off by the middlemen
who kept dictating, you know,
bad prices to them.
The coffee is tested here,
and everyone comes out on top, really.
And then they send samples out
all around the world
to find out who wants to buy it.
That is as fresh as it'll ever come.
You'll never get that fresher.
It was after-hours
on a Friday night, or whenever it was,
and they should all have gone home,
but they wanted to stay
and they wanted to sing a song for us
and do this great dancing.
And I thought that was lovely.
And it meant a lot to me.
I thought the Ethiopian shoulder dance
was amazing,
but that hip thing's
quite sorting me out, I think.
It was the first thing that happened to us
when we got into Uganda,
so it was a great, colorful,
musical welcome. It was nice.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I like it here. It's a really nice place.
Gorgeous tarmac, you know what I mean?
Very thankful for that.
Just a nice day, a really nice day.
Just brilliant.
Long, fast, sweeping bends.
Charley's at the front.
Pretty spectacular road.
Turn left into the Jinja Nile Resort.
Look. Look,
if I stand completely straight,
I look like a human matchstick.
I think it's all very risky exposing
yourselves to Dai looking like that.
- How you doing?
- You look like a human cannonball.
It's the beginning of the White Nile,
which comes out of Lake Victoria,
which is just up there.
It's not dangerous enough.
I was speaking to my mum last night
and she said, "Look, Ewan,
could you just go out tomorrow and do
something really, really dangerous?"
Because we're all getting too relaxed
with the traffic and the stuff in Africa.
Death or glory!
This is a bit of R and R from
our heavy schedule of riding motorbikes.
Want to have both?
My feet.
And we're going to do
some white water rafting here,
and then we're going down
to Kampala later on this afternoon.
Just amazing. Wow
This is our plane.
Going up to Gulu in the north of Uganda
to our second UNICEF project,
where they try
and help rehabilitate children
who've been abducted and taken into armies
and forced to fight in these crazy wars.
The reason we've come here on a plane
is because riding up this far north
is actually quite dangerous.
So it would be putting ourselves
in a position which just isn't right.
So that's why we've flown up here,
basically, because of security.
The Lord's Resistance
Army is led by Joseph Kony.
He wants to overthrow the government
and run the country using
the Ten Commandments as law.
To do this, he is abducting children
and forcing them to fight
against their own people.
They're well-known for removing
people's lips?
- Yes. Lips or nose.
- Cutting off their eyelids?
Cutting off their ears, nose,
- leaving them
- Yeah.
This is one of
the internally displaced persons camps.
Here we are. Nice to meet you.
We met these two kids
who had been abducted at a very young age.
One had spent eight years in captivity.
And they were all trained
and taught how to kill.
It's difficult to, you know,
to fathom, isn't it? It's just
We're here at Richard's house.
And Richard's one of the children
who was abducted.
And how old was he?
"I was abducted when I was seven years."
"One of the things I first
witnessed when I was abducted was,
we went to a stream
and they killed some people there.
When they killed them,
they dumped them in the stream
and made us drink water
from that same stream."
If you didn't do what you were told,
you were beaten to death
by the other kids.
And the other kids were forced to do that.
And they come back and they have to be
integrated into society again.
And the villagers are scared of them,
because they were the very people
who came and killed and raped.
But the parents, you know,
can you imagine sitting there as a parent
and your child is taken from you
and you spend eight years wondering
whether your child
has been multiply raped,
murdered, killed?
Or have they killed people?
Are they still alive?
And then suddenly,
this child comes out of the bush.
"When I had just come,
I used to actually have
a lot of nightmares.
I would dream of some of the scenes
where people were being
killed and tortured.
But now that has reduced.
I no longer have these nightmares."
He's 15 years old.
He looks like he's about 35 or something.
They're taking these children
when they were like
seven and eight and stuff.
The girls are getting pregnant
at the age of 10 and 11,
and dying in the bush because
their bodies can't deal with childbirth.
She was there
for a long time, eight years.
She says that a lot
of her friends are married and have lives,
and she has a child from someone else
and it's tougher
and she relies on her parents.
She can't go back to school.
This is the Saint Martin's school
where the 15-year-old boy
that we met in his hut
This is his school,
so we've come to say hello.
And to deliver some school packages,
books and stuff like that
to help them along, so it's great.
There's one big
cardboard box that you can teach.
You know, it can be set up.
You can set up a school
under a tree if people
have been displaced.
And it's got enough equipment in it
for 80 students.
And that was really wonderful
to take that there.
Everything. Everything you need
in here, really.
It's fantastic.
Jotters, maps of the world.
One each. Hey, hey, guys.
If there aren't enough places,
kids are fighting to get into school,
because they know.
They see the difference it makes
if you go to school and get an education,
and if you don't.
1.7 million people are now living
in these camps in Uganda,
and I'd never heard about it before.
I never knew that.
And I wonder why that is.
Why don't we know about that, you know?
All right, who's meant to be where?
You're meant to be in geography.
You've got to get to maths, English.
- Wow, look at that. It's definitely
- Amazing. Full on, isn't it?
Full on. They're enjoying it as well.
We also saw
a different work that UNICEF's doing.
We saw a kind of clinic for mothers who
are either pregnant or have young babies.
Okay, and so here is
where they give them all the injections.
Yeah, a mother like this one,
a pregnant mother
or a non-pregnant mother.
Babies are immunized
and given vitamins and deworming tablets,
and mothers are given nets
and the babies are weighed
to check for malnutrition.
Oh, yeah? I think I'm gonna faint.
It was an amazing, positive story,
and seeing all these mothers
with their babies there,
who desperately wanted
this medical help
It breaks your heart, doesn't it?
I think there is a preconception
that people in African countries
don't care about medicine
or aren't interested,
and as you can clearly see here,
that if it's available,
there's a real hunger
for proper medical care.
There's a real need for it,
and the people want it,
if they can get it, you know?
It was an amazing day.
That was a very good day,
although some of it
very difficult to take,
as all UNICEF visits are.
There's always bits of it that
are really difficult to take and digest.
I don't know how I would cope
if one of my children
It would have meant that
My children are 10 and 11 now.
Seven, eight, nine, ten.
It would mean that they'd have been away,
if they had been stolen,
they would have been away
for four years, three years.
It's just awful.
I mean, it's just awful to think this
is happening to kids.
You can't get your head around it.
They're stolen from their villages
and forced into this life
of horror and violence.
And then suddenly, your child
walks out of the jungle,
having gone through an experience
that is unfathomable
to comprehend, to understand
why someone would make
you do those things.
Why would someone
make you do those things?
I don't I just don't know.
At dinner last night,
we had a huge conversation
about the time that
we should leave this morning.
And Dai was sort of implying
that we're not hard-core
because we never really leave before 9:00.
So we all thought,
"Right, we'll leave at 7:00."
All right, it's 7:00.
Everyone is up
apart from our Dr. Dai Jones.
Now, the only excuse
he could possibly have
is he did have a fever over the weekend.
Here's Ewan.
- I hope he's not ill.
- Well, that's the only thing.
Did someone go up to check his room?
We could listen for the snoring.
Come on, come on, come on.
What time do you call this, Jones?
I'm ill.
- Are you not feeling good?
- No, I feel like shit.
I think Are you making it up, though?
No, I do feel like shit.
Do you want to come?
We're just gonna go to Cape Town.
Or are you stopping here?
Cape Town sounds good.
I'll be there, yeah.
Okay, we're leaving Kampala.
And we're heading to Fort Portal,
which is on the west side of Uganda,
and only 100 miles or so north of Rwanda,
where we will pass Rwanda,
famous, again, for all the wrong reasons.
You know, it's not a country
I imagined I'd ever be in,
certainly not on a motorcycle,
so it should be very interesting
to see what's going on there.
Charley's got wheelie fever again.
It's a good sign, actually, for Charley.
There was that middle section there
where we didn't see a wheelie for weeks.
I was getting a bit worried.
And then since we've been in Uganda,
he's been having a complete wheelie fest.
Beautiful scenery here.
Quite close now to the Rwandan border,
probably about 15 Ks away.
We're here at the border of Rwanda,
but unfortunately,
we've come to the wrong border.
The guy we're meeting on the other side
is at a border further south from here.
Where is he?
He's at a different border called Cyanika.
Oh, Cyanika,
which is actually before Kisoro.
- Yes.
- Well, that's an hour.
I mean, what time does the border close?
- We better get going, right?
- No, actually, they're one hour behind us.
- They're one hour behind us? So it's 1:30?
- Yes.
- Okay.
- So, get going?
- That's good news. Let's get out of here.
- Sorry about that.
They said 20 Ks to this road
and then 60 Ks on this other road.
But what they didn't mention
was the 60 Ks on the other road
was just complete dirt and crap.
Thirteen of these miles
could take a very long time.
And it was also blocked in the middle
by this lorry that had turned over,
and they'd emptied a lot of stuff onto
the road and it had blocked the road.
So, this is our problem.
And we're trying to get to there.
And that's in the way.
And we're here.
We've got to try and get the bikes
through here.
So, it'll be no problem for the bikes,
but the cars are gonna have to go
a different way.
I hope there is a different way.
it's gonna be tough.
We might not make the border tonight.
On you go.
Go now through here
That's why motorcycles
are better than cars.
It's 4:30.
And we always figure the border crossings
take four hours.
So I can't see us crossing tonight.
Oh, my God! Wait a minute.
How did you get in front of us?
How did you get past the truck?
We were hoping that you'd get
to the border before us.
But hearing your engines coming
around the bend is like, what?
They should be an hour in front.
But actually, now that you're with us,
what you could do
What you could do now that you're with us,
Charley, if you wanted to,
is take your passports and the carnets
- and see if you three can get across.
- Okay.
How bizarre. The cars were in front of us.
That is insane.
I can only assume that their diversion
is the road that we probably
all should have taken in the first place.
It's clearly much quicker. Clearly!
We've missed the border, surely.
Where's the border?
It is four minutes to 6:00.
The border apparently closes at 6:00,
according to our fixer, Chris.
I think if Charley got there
and persuaded the guy just to hang on
They were kind of waiting for us, I think.
And they were saying, "Hurry, hurry,
go over there." So I went over there.
I met this very nice man,
and he was being very funny.
And he was saying,
"Oh, just read the numbers out to me."
So I could have read him
anything I wanted.
But he was being very funny.
It was good fun, actually.
So what stage are we at
of crossing the border? Are we through?
- I have no idea.
- No.
Here come the boys.
You can see the lights.
It's all okay.
Don't worry. Don't panic. It's all okay.
I got here and sorted it all out.
Okay, it was manic getting here.
We're all done, are we? We're ready to go?
- We're into Rwanda?
- Yeah. To Rwanda.
Thank you very much, Daddy.
That's a major achievement.
Let's see what
the Rwandan mosquitoes are like.
I know what it's gonna sound like,
as well, if he does come off.
There will be a massive scraping
of metal on the deck,
and then him whining and moaning.
- You try again. You try again.
- Oh, no. It's enough.
You try again.
People really, like, appreciate
a good wheelie. They really do.
So that's been a lot of fun.
I was quite overwhelmed,
as we left the border, that we were here.
I thought, we know the name Rwanda so
well and we associate it with one thing,
which is horrible, horrible genocide
and violence.
What's this nation been through
and how has it managed to heal itself?
I don't know.
Good morning, everyone. It's the day
We're gonna go and see the gorillas
this morning.
I didn't sleep very well last night.
I was so excited about going
to see the gorillas
that, you know,
eventually at 6:00, I thought
I'll just get up.
I'm really excited to see the family of
He said there's like 28 there.
Silverbacks, black backs, all the way down
to little kids, so it'll be incredible.
How about poaching here with the animals,
has it gotten worse or better,
or does it still go on?
In 2003 they killed four gorillas
and they took one baby,
and perchance we came to arrest
the poachers
and now they are in prison.
Now, this is called a
It's an African massage.
- Yeah.
- An African massage!
How exciting! Isn't it?
I don't think I'd want
to cuddle a gorilla.
I think, you know.
Imagine an old silver back,
"All right, Charley." Boom!
So those soldiers over there
are there for our protection,
you know, against poachers,
against the gorillas if they attack.
And buffalo and other animals
that come along,
that could potentially be along.
Look at that jungle, Ewan.
That's where we're going, up there.
That's where the gorillas are.
Gorillas in the Mist.
Gorillas in the mist, quite literally.
Gorillas in the mist, mate.
We've got a bit of a walk
ahead of us today.
But it's gonna be worth it. I think.
We walked up
this muddy path, up into a mountain,
for maybe an hour and a half.
For about 1,800 meters
up to about 3,000 meters.
It was up. It was all up, you know?
And it was nice to get out
and make my body work
and go up the hill and sweat a bit,
and it was lovely that, as well.
I loved every step of it.
I think we're up at 20,000 feet.
Actually, we're up It's about nine.
That's better. Less.
- Do you know this plant?
- No.
It's Do you know celery?
- Oh, it's celery? Is that what it is?
- Yeah. Yes.
- This is wild celery.
- Oh, okay.
It's the best food,
a nice food for gorillas.
- Oh, great.
- And also, gorillas, they have hands.
They peel like human people.
And take this and they do like this.
Oh, it's edible.
You can smell.
Smells like
- I could just do with a Bloody Mary.
- Oh, it's nice. Smells a bit like rhubarb.
This fruit is elephant food.
- Elephant food?
- Yes.
And what do the elephants do with it?
The elephants? They chew it.
They chew it? They just like the taste?
- It's tough, isn't it?
- For us, it's very bitter.
- Yeah, yeah.
- But for elephants, they like it.
It's a kind of warty melon. Lemon.
Not melon.
Sniff TV again, and we've got a little bit
of gorilla poo. Quite fresh, actually.
Doesn't smell too bad.
Maybe 37, 36 minutes old.
Maybe 40, if you want to argue.
Hey, I was just thinking, "Bullshit,"
but it's gorilla shit, isn't it? Yeah.
Let's see another kind of species
the gorillas they like, yeah?
It's a nice food for gorillas.
They make a ball like this, you see?
A big ball and they go
It's a nice food for gorillas,
but very sticky, you see?
Yeah. We used to play with this
when we were kids in Scotland.
The idea was to stick as big a wad of it
on someone's back
without them knowing, look.
No gorillas in Scotland, though.
No, no gorillas.
- No gorillas, really?
- No.
Is that Oh, I thought
Scotland had everything.
Do you see that tree just over there
with the two dead branches?
- Yeah.
- Well, just below that are the gorillas.
They've just stopped feeding
and they're just settling down to rest.
So apparently, now is the time
to go and see them.
We will spend only one hour
with the gorillas.
In the conservation it's not
good to take a long time
Why? Because we have to
give them their kingdom.
Also it's not good for the
gorillas to touch people
or us to touch the gorillas
because they can catch
human diseases from us.
Not far now.
They're quite close now, the old gorillas.
Oh, my God. He's beautiful.
There he is. Can you believe it?
What I learned was that they go
that kind of noise to reassure
the gorillas that everything is okay.
They look so cozy.
Feel quite nervous.
I mean, they're so big.
So beautiful. We're so close.
I see a mother and her baby.
She just looked at us
with this open expression
as she breastfed her child.
God, it was extraordinary.
So worth the walk and everything.
It's just amazing.
Little baby's looking at me now
and thinking, "Who are you?"
She seems quite interested in us
and what's going on.
There was things about
them that blew my mind.
Like, if you looked at their eyelids
for too long,
it started actually freaking me out
because they just look like us
when they blink and look.
I feel a bit like I'm invading, though.
I get the feeling they're sort of like,
"Oh, go away."
That's the feeling I get.
What do you think they think of us?
Do you think that human beings
and their close proximity bother them?
Or do you think
they don't pay any attention?
There is no problem. We are friends.
They don't fear.
They don't mind,
because they are very fine.
They are better. They know we are friends.
It's no problem.
They bunch it up like that,
get it all like that, and then they
I like very much the sound of their life.
They get up about 6:30, 7:00
in the morning
and start to eat,
and they eat until about 9:30.
And then they have a rest.
And they sleep
and then they start to eat again.
And they eat until 3:00.
And they play and they sleep,
and then they start eating again
about 5:00, because they sense
the darkness is coming,
so they eat a lot,
then they go to sleep for the night.
Sounds pretty good to me.
That's a gorilla, a silver back.
That's a silver back.
It's huge!
God Almighty, look at the size of him.
- You see the size of his head though?
- Yeah.
We're I don't know
how far we are from him,
but he's enormous.
He came over here and said,
"Can you back up here please?
Because the silver back
is coming this way."
We're like, "Okay."
He's huge.
Look at the size of him.
The silver back, the male, is right here.
He's like ten feet away from me.
And now all the other females
and the wee young are following him.
She stopped and she looked around at us,
and she was literally
four feet away from me.
You're looking into the eyes
of a wild gorilla,
and you have this moment of connection,
which is extraordinary.
Beautiful, beautiful day.
Really, really enjoyed it.
That was the most amazing day
with the gorillas. Unbelievable.
Absolutely amazing to be so close
to such beautiful, strong animals,
you know?
What a privilege.
Phenomenal, phenomenal countryside.
My God, it's beautiful here.
Rwanda. You must all come to Rwanda
to see the gorillas and to travel
through the forests and the mountains
and meet the people.
We're riding through Rwanda
to Kigali, the capital.
Oh, my goodness,
it doesn't get much better than this, man.
Last time I said that,
I ended up sliding down the road.
Do you remember?
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