Loot (2022) s01e09 Episode Script

1
["STRAIGHTENIN" PLAYING]
Okay. So, these go in Mary-Kate's mouth,
and these go in Ashley's butt.
If you get this wrong, Marisol,
they'll both die.
[MOANS]
David Chang,
the quality of your work has really been
declining in the last six months.
I'm sorry.
I'm opening a restaurant in Macau tonight,
and I'm pretty overwhelmed.
Mmm. Does that sound like a me problem
or a you problem?
You're right. I'll start over again.
That's what I thought.
Mmm. Good morning, Nicholas.
When did you get in?
Oh, just a couple minutes ago.
Uh, I found you some Japanese flame lilies.
They're Asian, beautiful
and a little bit toxic.
- Just like me.
- Aw, cute.
That's so thoughtful.
[GASPS]
Wow. Look at this beautiful blue number.
Yeah. I thought
a little Alexander McQueen for my queen.
This will be perfect
for your big premiere tonight.
Oh, my God.
It doesn't even count as a premiere.
It's a tiny part in a tiny play
in a tiny theater in North Hollywood.
North Hollywood?
Didn't that all burn down in the '70s?
Yeah, that's what I thought too.
But apparently, it's still there.
Well, I will go to this
alleged North Hollywood
just to see you in Cahoga Lake.
[GASPS] What a great name for a play.
I hope they say the title in the dialogue.
I love it when that happens.
I won't spoil if we do or not.
Mmm. And I am bringing
a giant bottle of champagne
for us to get drunk on after.
Oh, my God. The 2007 Louis Roederer Cristal?
- Mm-mmm. 2006.
- No [CHUCKLES]
No. You're saving that
for when Brad and Jennifer
finally come to their senses
and get back together.
We We can't.
- This is more important than that.
- [CHUCKLES]
[HIP-HOP SONG PLAYING]
[SONG ENDS]
Good morning, everyone. Big day today.
I have a huge surprise!
Mm-mmm. As a child of divorce,
I do not like surprises.
I can't switch schools again.
This is a good surprise, Howard.
A really good one. [SIGHS]
The board of supervisors
are voting on our zoning proposal.
[CHUCKLES]
Okay. I mean,
when are you gonna get to the surprise?
Oh, but that is the surprise.
They're going to vote yes!
The Alameda Street housing project
is officially a go!
- Oh!
- Oh, wow! That's great.
And actually,
they want us to come to the vote
to celebrate our hard work.
- Oh, my God. So like a party?
- Kind of.
There won't be food or drinks
or any talking allowed.
But they will clap for a few seconds.
Well, that's amazing, Sofia.
Congratulations.
- [MOLLY] Right? To you.
- [ARTHUR] Yeah.
- [MOLLY] And to all of us.
- [ARTHUR] Yeah.
And believe it or not,
I actually have a surprise too.
Jean-Pierre, come on in!
- [CHUCKLING] Hey.
- [RHONDA] Aw.
[JEAN-PIERRE] I was hiding in a kitchen.
It's funny what American think
croissants taste like.
- [SIGHS] Not even close.
- [HOWARD CHUCKLES]
I asked Jean-Pierre here today to help me
make a very special announcement.
[NARRATOR] Poverty. Famine. Climate change.
The world's problems continue to mount.
But as human beings, our greatest strength
is our ability to cooperate.
Our greatest asset is each other.
At the Silver Moon Summit,
located in Corsica, France,
the world's foremost leaders in business,
politics, and thought
will convene to mobilize new policies
and challenge old assumptions.
Together, we can overcome any obstacle.
Together, we can change the world.
Oh, shit! We made the Silver Moon Summit?
[GASPS] Last year they had Rihanna
do a duet with hologram John Lennon.
- We are all going, guys.
- [RHONDA EXCLAIMS]
All-expenses-paid. It's going to be amazing.
Oh. It's on the same day as my wedding.
That's okay. I can push it.
It's only 600 people.
Plus, Jean-Pierre and I will be presenting
something super special there this year.
I haven't told you guys about it yet.
It's called
the Arroyo water filtration machine.
Don't ask me how it works.
But Jean-Pierre and his science nerds
are really excited about it.
Basically, it takes dirty water
and makes it safe to drink.
- [RHONDA] Hmm.
- We can make a huge difference.
I love how you say…
[IMITATES FRENCH ACCENT] … "difference."
Okay. Thank you, Howard.
Ooh, that's good too. Say my name again.
- Howard.
- [HOWARD GIGGLES]
…And, I mean Yeah. No, no.
That's an incredible opportunity.
I I would love to. Um…
No. No. Thank you. Uh…
Yeah. Yeah. I'll talk to you soon.
[EXHALES SHAKILY]
So, who was that on the phone?
Oh, are we talking now?
I thought we were fighting.
We are fighting. Forget it.
I don't even wanna know. Don't tell me.
I'm gonna tell you because you don't wanna
know. That was the director of the play.
The actor who plays Dylan is dropping out
because he got a role on Young Sheldon.
Young Sheldon?
I mean, comedy, drama, that show has it all.
And, um, now they want me to play Dylan.
But Dylan's the lead.
[CHUCKLES] I mean, that's huge.
- That's potentially life-changing!
- [GROANS, SIGHS]
Not that I care.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Good luck.
With nothing.
["WHAT'S LUV" PLAYING]
Hey. I just wanted to touch base.
Those were some pretty big bombs
you dropped this morning.
Corsica. Some magic water machine.
And your clapping surprise,
which was also cool.
But we don't need to compare them.
Well, I just wish we would've talked
about this beforehand.
We're supposed to be partners.
Well, Jean-Pierre
wanted to keep it hush-hush.
- Jean-Pierre.
- [MOLLY] I know secrets can be bad.
But they are kind of sexy sometimes,
don't you think?
I don't love the idea of a conference
where ten billionaires get into a room
to decide how the world should be fixed.
Well, nine. Elon can't make it.
He fell off his skateboard.
You know our mission. Stay local.
Give money to people in the communities
who are doing the work.
And we'll keep doing that.
But we can also think bigger.
We can do it all. There's nothing wrong
with increasing our ambition.
Okay.
If you believe in this,
let's see how it goes.
Great.
Then I am going to head out for the day.
I will see you tomorrow.
We have a zoning meeting.
We have my surprise.
Yes, of course. Sitting down and waiting.
Both equally great.
Hooray!
[SOFIA GROANS]
I forgot.
[TANYA] Are you listening to me?
Yes, of course I'm listening.
I need you to go to the Rite Aid
in Van Nuys.
That's where they have
the frozen shrimp I like.
And don't be wandering down the candy aisle.
Oh Yeah, baby, Van Nuys. I'm on it.
Then I need you to go to the airport
to pick up my cousin in Orange County.
Then come back here,
cook us dinner, take the trash out
Hey, baby, will you hold on for a second?
There's some type of IT emergency.
What? Someone hacked the database?
It's probably China again.
Look, I I have to call you back, okay?
Listen, I'd love to be a bitch to you now,
but I'm sort of dealing with something.
No. I didn't come here to fight.
It's just,
I already bought a ticket to the play,
so I need to know if it's worth the $8.
So, what's going on?
I don't know. This part is really intense.
There's so many lines.
And then there's all this physical stuff
when I'm sanding a canoe.
Oh, I know you can sand.
You got the shoulders for it.
The real problem is,
is that Dylan cries at the end of the play,
and I can't cry on cue.
I've been trying my whole life.
I've never been able to make it happen.
Which is really confusing
because I can be dishonest
in literally every single other way.
I mean, well, that's okay.
We can We can work on it together.
No, it's fine. I'm just gonna tell them
to find somebody else for the part.
No. I'm not gonna let you do that.
Vegeta and Goku.
One last ride.
Then we're back to being mortal enemies.
[CHUCKLING] Okay. Where do we start?
By asking Sharon if we can reserve this
conference room for the rest of the day.
God willing, she'll say yes.
- [GAVEL BANGS]
- Rezoning measure 14B passes 6-3.
The Alameda Street housing
initiative can move forward.
A special thanks to Molly Wells
and her team for all of their hard work.
[EXHALES] Ooh.
We look forward to breaking ground in 2026.
Really? 2026?
Yeah. It used to be 2028, but we sped it up.
Okay. Now we'll open the floor
to public comments.
Hi. I have a question for Ms. Wells.
Yes, of course. Ask me anything.
Why do you decide
what happens to our neighborhood?
Is it because
you have more money? [CHUCKLES]
Why don't you tear down one of those
mansions and build the housing there?
This is disgusting.
And so are you.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you for your time.
[CLAUDIA CLEARS THROAT]
- That was more than one question.
- Hey, don't worry about her.
Yeah. There's always
a negative Nancy in the bunch.
I also think Ms. Wells is disgusting.
Here's a list of reasons why.
What?
You are decreasing the value of our homes.
Have you even considered the
environmental impacts of this high-rise?
You call this housing affordable?
You don't even know what that word means.
You don't have a response to any of this?
You are ruining Los Angeles.
This lady is the reason I'm bald.
You fascist!
Look at her over there, looking down at us.
I see why your husband left you.
- Okay, you can cut the shit right there.
- [SPECTATORS APPLAUD]
I am trying to help you pieces of
- [SPECTATORS GASP]
- Molly. Just…
Pieces of Los Angeles.
Beautiful pieces of beautiful Los Angeles.
Our home.
Home of beaches and Hollywood.
Filled with sunshine and rockin' tunes…
On the radio.
- Is that enough?
- I think so. I
Bye.
- [MURMURING]
- [MOUTHING] Wow.
All right.
Well… [CLEARS THROAT]
…that concludes the public comments.
And, uh, now we'll be presenting
the key to the city
to YouTube sensation JoJo Siwa.
[SPECTATORS APPLAUDING]
His owner's dead,
but little Buster won't leave him.
Not now, not ever.
Man, we do not deserve dogs.
[PERSON IN VIDEO] We know you miss her,
honey. That's a good girl. Come on.
How are you not crying right now?
Oh, sorry. I'm not really a dog person.
If you're gonna lick your own butt,
you should be on a lot of drugs.
Okay. Well, what about this?
[SQUEALING]
[HOWARD] She's hearing for the first time.
Nothing?
Yeah, no. Um, I don't really like kids.
They all remind me of my niece.
What a bitch.
Okay. Well, here's a soldier just back
from Afghanistan surprising his family.
[CHUCKLING, GROANING] Oh, mmm.
- Oh, my God.
- [INHALES DEEPLY] Mm-hmm.
[SOLDIER IN VIDEO]
I know, I know, I know… [INDISTINCT]
I think I've hooked up with him.
Yeah. Oh, my God.
I thought he ghosted me,
but he went to Afghanistan?
Lame.
[SCOFFS] Can we watch something else?
Okay. What the fuck was that?
I mean, I don't expect a parade,
but I would also prefer not be called
a "money-shitting ass-witch."
Was that a pun off the word "sandwich"?
Doesn't matter.
Okay. That was a little rough,
but we know this isn't a job
where you're going to get thanks.
I'm not asking for thanks.
I would just like not to be attacked.
Well, this isn't about you.
This is about the people you're helping.
Everyone has their own struggle.
I know. I know.
Everyone has their own struggle.
I just wish my struggle
were a little bit easier.
- Eat shit, billionaire!
- [MOLLY SCREAMS]
Hey, hey, hey!
- [PROTESTOR 2] Eat shit!
- [SCREAMS] Oh, my sweater! Oh.
- Sir!
- [ARTHUR] You okay? Are you okay?
- [SOFIA GROANING]
- [GUARD] Sir. Sir!
- [MOLLY] What the fuck!
- [ARTHUR GROANS]
[HOWARD SIGHS]
Look. Okay,
I didn't wanna have to go down this road,
but we're gonna start talking
about your past.
It's a waste of time. There's nothing there.
Oh, come on,
everyone's got some childhood trauma.
Mmm, not me. My family was very normal.
Oh, fine. I'll go first.
When I was eight,
my uncle used me as collateral
in a game of dominoes and lost.
My mom had to drive
all the way out to Bakersfield
to buy me back from a guy named Tim,
and she was mad at me!
Okay. Well, my parents were very nice
Midwestern people, you know?
We just worked on the farm all day,
had dinner at 4:00, went to bed at 7:00.
It was very peaceful.
You know,
there was no screaming, no fighting,
no crying, no hugging, no "I love yous,"
no touching, no birthdays, no holidays.
It was a nice, normal life.
That is way darker than what I thought
you were gonna say.
You need therapy immediately.
Oh, no. Bad idea. I tried it once.
He fell in love with me,
and I had to get a restraining order.
Wow. Okay.
Well, w-we don't have time anyways.
So, why don't I just look up
some chemicals that will make you cry
and maybe we can put some onions
up your sleeve.
Onions don't make me cry.
Okay. Will you meet me halfway here?
You're not even trying!
[NICHOLAS SIGHS]
[ARTHUR] Found some paper towels
for us in the bathroom.
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.
[MOLLY GROANS]
Am I making it better?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Kind of just spreading it around
a little bit,
but honestly, it's working.
Yeah, you were totally
my bodyguard back there.
Ah. I've actually always kinda felt
like I had a Kevin Costner vibe.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I actually dressed up as him once
for Halloween.
[CHUCKLES] From what movie?
No movie. Just dressed up as him.
Yeah. I wore a shirt and slacks.
But I carried myself, you know,
with his energy.
- Mmm.
- Yeah.
Well…
Thank you again for being so brave.
Oh, yeah. I don't
I don't know what came over me.
I saw that second pie,
and I just felt like I had to protect you.
Well, it was really sweet.
Yeah.
- Molly. I was worried. [SIGHS]
- Oh.
[MOLLY] Thanks for coming.
- Are you hurt?
- No, I'm fine.
I'm just mad and frustrated and sticky.
Look at you.
You need to rest. Come with me.
My helicopter's standing by.
- Okay.
- Thank you so much, Arthur.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
You can take my car to go home if you want.
Oh, yeah. You should take his car.
We're not using it.
Oh, no, no. You don't have to do that.
I think there's plenty
of Bird scooters out there I can grab.
Uh, that'll take me to my bike.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Thank you again so much, huh?
- Sure.
[MOUTHING] Thank you.
Okay. So I couldn't find
any menthol sticks to make you cry,
but I did find some strawberry lip balm
and some Fritos.
If we mix them together, it might work.
Forget it.
I don't know why I'm doing this play.
I'm gonna go out there and embarrass myself.
No, you're not.
Listen, could
Could you just leave me alone, please?
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Uh, hey, Tanya. Listen, I'm
I better be talking
to a motherfucking ghost right now,
because you being dead is the only excuse
for you not answering the phone.
Come on, baby. Just Just calm down.
Go open yourself up a nice lime La Croix.
Take your shoes off.
I'll be right there.
Why the hell haven't you been answering
my calls?
'Cause I've been busy helping Nicholas.
He's really needed me today.
Nicholas? What about me?
I asked you to do something,
and you're running around with some traitor.
Howard, if you do not get off this phone,
get in the car
- and drive to Orange County
- Baby, this is really important to me.
Did you just interrupt me
while I was talking?
You are in a world of trouble.
- If you don't get your ass
- Tanya. Stop.
I'm done with you.
We're over. Goodbye.
[SIGHS]
Wow. That's a perfect omelet. Thank you.
[SIGHS DEEPLY]
This is nice. Really nice.
You need to be more careful.
[MOLLY] I know.
Sofia says it's important
to be there in person
so the community can get to know us.
And she says it makes sense
that the public is suspicious
of someone like me.
But that doesn't mean I deserve
to be called "Scrooge McFuckface."
I know Sofia means well.
But there are parts of our lives
she will never understand.
No matter what we do,
some people will resent what we have.
Then what am I doing every day?
I just feel like I can never win.
No, there are ways we can help
without getting attacked.
Think about the conference.
No pies in the face,
and you can do great things there.
Molly,
there is more than one way to be good.
I like that.
Let's go to Corsica early.
You're gonna love it there.
It's so beautiful.
And I don't know how it's possible,
but the sun sets for five hours.
- It never stops!
- [MOLLY CHUCKLES]
That sounds pretty good.
Now, can you make me
three more of these burrito omelets
so I can take them on the plane?
Anything for you.
Thanks.
"What are you doing here?
I told you I don't"
"Are you alone?" [MUTTERING]
"Oh, I just thought that"
- [CHUCKLES] Hey, is everything okay?
- Everything's fine.
It's just that, before you go out there,
there's something I wanted to tell you.
Okay.
I know things have been weird
between us the past few weeks.
But now I know those things you were
trying to tell me about Tanya, you
You were just trying to help me.
I'm sorry I haven't been there for you.
- It's okay. We're okay.
- [HOWARD] Well, no!
Before you go out there
and you fuck everything up,
I need you to know you are good at this.
I'm proud of you.
And I love you.
And I'm not saying this
as some co-worker or a fan.
I'm saying this as your best friend.
[NICHOLAS GASPS] Oh!
[HOWARD SIGHS]
Places, everyone. Break legs! Break legs!
["ALWAYS ON TIME" PLAYING]
You got this.
- Thanks, man.
- [HOWARD] Go get 'em.
[CELL PHONE BUZZES]
Everything's all right?
[NICHOLAS SNIFFLES]
Mom, what are you doing here?
I said I wanted to be alone.
He would have been so proud.
Star quarterback in high school.
Top salesman in your firm.
- Everything he always wanted for you.
- Yeah, then why is he gone?
Dylan, do you think your father
chose to have cancer?
I think he chose not to have the chemo.
It's complicated!
I'm so sick of hearing that!
I'm so sick of living in his shadow.
You don't think I don't see his face
everywhere I go?
I don't hear what this town says about him?
"Mayor Moretti, the man who
brought the town back after the fire!"
Well, none of that matters in the end.
The only thing he ever did
that matters is die.
And I didn't even get a chance
to say goodbye.
Mom, that's all I want… [VOICE CRACKS]
…is just one more minute. With him.
Just the two of us, in this old canoe.
[SNIFFLES] Watching the geese
make patterns in the sky…
[SOBS] …at our place on Cahoga Lake.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING]
Bravo!
[SOBBING] Bravo! Bravo.
- [HOWARD] Come here, superstar! [LAUGHS]
- [ARTHUR] Hey!
Oh, my God.
Thank you guys so much for coming.
You were amazing!
Oh, my God. When you said
the title of the play in the play,
- I didn't know you could do that!
- It was so emotional. [GASPS]
The way you were sanding the canoe,
it was like you were shaving away
all the fear and resentment that
Yeah. Yeah, no.
That's not what that meant, Ainsley.
Okay. I also liked the costumes.
You know, I liked the sexual tension
between your character and Linda.
So intense.
Oh, Rhonda… [STAMMERS] …Linda was his mom.
No, I I know.
Okay. Well, I wouldn't have even been here
today if it wasn't for this guy.
He's the one who got me up there.
Come on, I already cried tonight.
Don't get these waterworks going.
Hi. Uh, I have a delivery from Molly Wells.
Oh, thanks.
Weird.
Um…
It says, uh, "S
So sorry I couldn't make it.
I'm sure you were amazing.
Enjoy this on me."
Wow.
2006 Louis Roederer Cristal.
That's really nice.
All right. Well, let's head to the bar.
Crack that baby open.
All the rest of the drinks
are on me tonight.
- [RHONDA] Oh, okay.
- Thank you.
- [AINSLEY] Sofia!
- All right. Let's go!
["ARE YOU THAT SOMEBODY?" PLAYING]
[AINSLEY] What are you gonna order?
I think I'm gonna have a gin and tonic.
[PHONE BEEPS]
We'll be landing soon.