Lopez vs. Lopez (2022) s02e05 Episode Script
Lopez vs Raider Nation
1
'Bout time.
You said I only had to babysit
Oscar for three hours.
Where were you guys?
I'm on step nine of AA, making amends.
So Momo's been driving
me around to apologize.
Oh, I'm calling it my Eras tour.
My beer era, my tequila era,
and my appletini era.
I kept it classy there at the end.
There's a lot of talking
and not enough of handing out fries.
Oh.
I ate all the fries. I'm sorry, Gordo.
Hey.
Take Chance off the list.
So you've apologized to Chance,
Mayan, Quinten, Rosie,
and all the hot mannequins
at Victoria's Secret?
I see now how I should have
respected them for their minds.
It looks like everyone's gotten
an apology from George
except for the most important
person in his life.
Jackie Chan?
Me, man.
What do you mean? He told you
he was sorry the other day.
No. I dropped a box on his foot.
And he said, I'm sorry I ever hired you.
What do you want him to apologize for?
It was a cold autumn eve.
The Raiders were playing the Chargers.
Ah.
George dared me to run onto the field
and tackle football
legend Marshawn Lynch.
[GASPS] You tackled Beast Mode?
I tried.
But it looked more like a Chihuahua
trying to hump a Great Dane.
George swore he'd block security,
but he was wasted.
So all he did was just point
at me and say, get him!
I was hauled off to Raider jail,
where I was given the name Bitch Mode.
Wow. George should definitely
apologize for that.
Yeah. Well, I'm sure he will.
He's probably just
saving the best for last.
I forgot some of my apology tour,
someone who has been very loyal,
who has always been there for me.
I'm sorry, Churro.
I'm sorry I threw a shoe
at you when I was drunk.
I thought you were a gremlin.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
♪
We're here.
You guys were gone a long time.
Oh, we had the best day.
Shopping, lunch at the
Cheesecake Factory,
a couple's massage.
Couple's massage?
No, don't worry.
She told everyone I was gay
so it wouldn't be weird.
I love shopping with Quinten.
He's always honest
about how good I look.
It is genuine honesty,
not fear.
You guys have been hanging out a lot.
It's like my mom thinks
you're her husband.
- That's silly.
- Quinten, honey,
can you unzip me, I wanna try this on.
I'm thinking of wearing this
dress for dinner on Friday.
Oh, by the way, Quinten and I are
going to have dinner on Friday,
so we're gonna need
you to babysit Chance.
Have you thought about going out
with someone, you know,
not in this family?
Maybe you should start dating.
Maybe you should stop
dating and get married.
- Quinten, zipper!
- Sorry, dear.
Yeah. You're right. She needs a husband.
I think my mom is afraid
to get back out there.
Oh, we should set her up.
I actually know someone.
Walter. He's a sweet guy.
He's he'd one of my
regulars at the Apple store,
so you know he's got money.
Perfect.
My mom and I always dreamed
about having a sugar daddy
to replace our pickled daddy.
♪
Did George apologize for
landing you in Raider jail?
Recently voted third most
violent jail in the country.
No, he has not.
Why don't you just ask him?
If there's one thing I know
about relationships,
it's that you can't ask
men to do things.
You need to trick them.
So to jog his memory,
I got us all tickets
to the Raider-Charger game this Sunday.
Nice.
How'd you afford that?
I saved up and went to the bank.
The sperm bank.
They pay you for your sperm?
I can't give mine away.
Once George remembers
how he betrayed me,
he's gonna feel bad, apologize,
and then probably ask me
to take his last name.
Ooh. Where's my coffee?
Just how you like it, black
with a splash of cream
and 24 sugars.
One of these is a Splenda!
You know what you'll think is sweet,
these tickets to the Raider game.
Oh, yeah, that is sweet, Oscar,
but you know, I don't go
to the games anymore,
since I stopped drinking.
I mean, without paying $23 for
a Bud Light, where's the fun?
Wait. Hey! Hey!
It can be fun sober.
I don't know, man.
My favorite part was all
the stuff we did wasted.
Like tussling with that angry chola.
At least I think she was angry.
I can't tell the way they
draw their eyebrows on.
My sister arches hers real wide.
She always looks so surprised to see me.
And since I can't drink, I can't go.
You should sell the ticket.
Oh, and give me all the money.
Wait!
What if we all don't drink?
Excuse me?
You'd really stay sober for me?
Yes.
All right. You know what?
I'm in. Let's do it.
ALL: Raider Nation!
I'm here.
And my prayers have been answered.
You're finally coming to church
with me on a non-holiday.
I already told Jesus.
He's very excited to see you.
How come Jesus doesn't have
to wear a suit to church?
I should be allowed to
go in my chonies too.
But before we go,
Quinten and I have someone
that we would like you to meet.
Are you trying to set me up?
I'm not looking to date anyone.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
But Quinten's found you
a real catch, Mom.
Soon you'll be on a romantic
three-month cruise.
It'll be the best vacation of my life.
Your life.
Buenos días.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Rosie.
Ah!
Sorry. You know, arthritis in my hand.
No, no, no. I can get it.
I can get it.
Need a hand there, Walter?
Nope. I got it.
He don't got it.
Will you excuse us a moment, Walter?
Why would you think it was a good idea
to set me up with Father Time?
Was there no one older available,
like the Gutenberg Bible, Chichen Itza,
a pterodactyl?
That's what you think I
want for my romantic life?
That's what you think I deserve?
No, I just think that at your age,
your options might be limited.
[GASPS]
That came out wrong.
And what would be the
right way to say that?
Mom, you've been divorced ten years.
Don't you miss male companionship?
I get plenty of sex, Mayan.
What?
Do you really think I can't get any?
Look at me.
I go to church on Sundays to make up
for what I do on Saturdays.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
The last time we won the Super
Bowl, my hair was black
and this tooth right here was silver.
Now, it's reversed.
This could be our year.
This is our year.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Welcome to the field our special guest,
NFL legend and future Hall of Famer,
Marshawn Lynch!
[2 UNLIMITED'S "GET READY FOR THIS"]
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
Make some noise for Beast Mode!
CROWD: [CHANTING] Beast Mode!
Beast Mode! Beast Mode!
- Beast Mode!
- And ladies, he's single
and in the best shape of his life.
I'm single and in the best
shape of my life too.
This is fun, huh?
You don't need to be drunk
like those fools over there.
It's like they have no dignity.
Oh, pardon me.
Excuse me.
You look like the Mexican Bowser.
You're not wearing your nipple spikes?
Now that I'm at my first game sober,
I realize everyone's staring
at me and I look stupid.
Doesn't that remind you of
the time that we were here
and I looked stupid.
It was a cold autumn eve.
You look stupid all the time,
man, all four seasonings.
Oh, man, I know it's hard
not to drink today, guys,
and I truly appreciate it, man.
That's real friendship.
Hey, let's take a selfie.
You can't even see me.
Who cares, man? My hair looks great.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
And now, it's time for the dance cam.
♪
When a man can look like a damn fool
for the love of his team,
that's what Raider Nation is all about.
Man, being at this game reminds me,
I owe someone a huge apology.
Oh. This is the perfect time to say it.
- Oscar?
- Yes, George?
Can you slide through here, man?
I'm gonna apologize to Momo.
The last time we were here,
I was the one that put
that spike on your seat.
That was you?
Raul had to pull that out.
I still owe him a favor.
I know. I'm sorry, man.
- I love you, man.
- I love you too.
[CROWD CHEERING]
I take it back.
Grown men crying,
that's what Raider Nation is all about.
Women, take note.
[VOICE BREAKS] Football is our therapy.
Ow.
You are wearing the nipple spikes.
No, I'm just really happy.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
Mom's so mad.
But seriously, who lies
about getting laid?
Can I help you?
She ain't mad no mo'.
Oh, my God, you're Mayan.
Your mom has told me so many stories
and shown me so many pictures.
And who are you?
Mayan, what are you doing here?
You can't just show up unannounced
to someone's house.
♪
Waited 15 minutes for the bathroom,
then 30 minutes for the nachos.
By then I had to go to the
bathroom all over again.
You waited for the bathroom?
I just went here.
Raider Nation!
ALL: Raider Nation!
Is that beer?
No. It's my pee.
I know the difference
between pee and Corona.
I learned that the hard way.
What the hell, man? I thought you
guys said you weren't gonna drink.
Oscar had the idea to
hide beer in coffee cups.
- Momo!
- What?
You know I'm a chismosa when I'm buzzed.
Hey, man. How could you do that?
Doesn't feel good when your
friends let you down, does it?
No, it doesn't. I think you
owe me an apology.
No. You owe me an apology.
- For what?
- For getting wasted
and not having my back
with Marshawn Lynch.
Not having your back with Marshawn?
Man, you were the reason
I was drunk that day.
What are you talking about?
If AA taught me anything,
it taught me that you're an enabler.
And once I looked up what enabler meant,
I realized, I didn't owe you an apology.
Enabler.
I have taken your car keys.
I have called Mayan so many
times to let her know
that her dad was not
passed out in a ditch.
And I am the one who
took you to the hospital
when you almost died last year.
No way, man. The ambulance
took me to the hospital.
Of course you don't remember.
Forget the Marshawn apology.
You should be apologizing for
20 years of our friendship.
I am done with you, man,
just like I am done pretending
that I am a Raider fan.
Bang bang, Niner gang.
♪
Well, now that you're both dressed,
I just have one question.
What the hell?
She means, how did you two meet?
Josué is a personal injury attorney,
specializing in car accidents
and dog attacks and looking fine.
Hey, maybe you've seen my ad.
Get bit by a Shih Tzu,
this lawyer bites back.
Wha you you're No Way Josué!
Oh!
I have seen your face on buses
and shopping carts and urinals.
That is so cool.
It's not that cool.
Once I saw how much attention
Rosie La Reina's billboard was getting,
I decided to put one
right in front of hers.
So then she stormed into my office
and, well, gave me a piece of her mind.
But then I decided to give him
a piece of something else.
BOTH: Ew.
Her heart.
BOTH: Oh.
Wait, those billboards
have been up for a while.
So you guys have been dating for
Six months.
When were you planning on telling me?
When I was put into a situation
where I was forced to tell you.
Cookies?
So, hey. I'm here with
quarterback Jim Plunkett.
There's not a lot of people
that deserve the title Raider legend.
But Jim, how does it feel
to be talking to one?
And who are you?
You know Oscar took me to the hospital?
Yeah, because you were unconscious.
He picked you up and
dropped you off himself
because the ambulance
wouldn't have made it on time.
He saved my life.
Man, I feel terrible.
Imagine how I feel having to tell you.
I gotta make this right.
I gotta go to the bathroom again.
♪
[PHONE RINGS]
Is that your mom again?
Yes.
And I am not speaking to her,
unless I need her to babysit,
cook, clean, or do my taxes.
Isn't Josué what we
wanted for her, though?
Why are you so upset?
Because we tell each other everything,
so it hurts that she kept him
secret from me for six months.
I'm here.
To remind you, if I'm not in your life,
you just have your dad.
Why didn't you tell me
about Josué sooner?
I was nervous.
After everything we've been
through with your dad,
I didn't wanna just bring
any man into your life.
I had to make sure that he
was worthy of meeting you.
Well, is he?
I think he is.
Is he worthy of meeting me?
Oh, Quinten.
You're no one to him until
you put a ring on it.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Not a good idea trying
to get out of here
with a Niner jersey on.
I am lucky they let me keep my pants.
Did you see George?
He went looking for you.
No, I did not see George,
and I don't care.
It's time for me to be the main
character of my own life.
Do you need a sidekick?
Sorry, bro. I already have Raul.
Excuse me?
Yeah, so how was it playing
in those great days?
Is that George?
Well, I played when the defenses
could actually hit the quarterback.
What the hell?
Excuse me, Marshawn, Mr. Jim Plunkett.
You should be in the NFL
Hall of Fame, by the way.
- You seem like a nice guy.
- Well, I'm not.
I deserve to be in the Hall
of Fame of bad friends.
Oscar, I'm sorry you had to put
up with a drunk version of me
for all those years.
The drunk version?
Wait. You sober right now?
Beast Mode, can we go silent mode.
Oscar, you always have my back,
even when I don't have yours.
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to apologize.
I was wrong. Wait a minute.
In AA, the 10th step is
admitting that you're wrong.
I did it! Ha! All 10 steps.
Raiders!
- No, no, no. It's actually 12 steps.
- No, in Mexico, it's 10.
This is for you, Oscar!
Mr. Plunkett, can you hold that?
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
You wanna call security?
Yeah. Hey, security!
Oh, my God.
He tried to tackle Beast Mode for me.
I hope security goes easy on him.
And he's down.
Let's go bail him out
of Raider jail, boys.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, my God! You're No Way Josué!
You must be George.
How did you know that?
Is Marshawn suing?
That wasn't me. That was Eric Estrada.
No, George.
This is my boyfriend.
Oh.
Is this some kind of a joke?
No way, Josué.
Just so you know, I'm in AA.
I'm making amends,
so right now, I just wanna
say I'm sorry for everything.
But you haven't done anything to me.
Don't worry. It's coming.
♪
'Bout time.
You said I only had to babysit
Oscar for three hours.
Where were you guys?
I'm on step nine of AA, making amends.
So Momo's been driving
me around to apologize.
Oh, I'm calling it my Eras tour.
My beer era, my tequila era,
and my appletini era.
I kept it classy there at the end.
There's a lot of talking
and not enough of handing out fries.
Oh.
I ate all the fries. I'm sorry, Gordo.
Hey.
Take Chance off the list.
So you've apologized to Chance,
Mayan, Quinten, Rosie,
and all the hot mannequins
at Victoria's Secret?
I see now how I should have
respected them for their minds.
It looks like everyone's gotten
an apology from George
except for the most important
person in his life.
Jackie Chan?
Me, man.
What do you mean? He told you
he was sorry the other day.
No. I dropped a box on his foot.
And he said, I'm sorry I ever hired you.
What do you want him to apologize for?
It was a cold autumn eve.
The Raiders were playing the Chargers.
Ah.
George dared me to run onto the field
and tackle football
legend Marshawn Lynch.
[GASPS] You tackled Beast Mode?
I tried.
But it looked more like a Chihuahua
trying to hump a Great Dane.
George swore he'd block security,
but he was wasted.
So all he did was just point
at me and say, get him!
I was hauled off to Raider jail,
where I was given the name Bitch Mode.
Wow. George should definitely
apologize for that.
Yeah. Well, I'm sure he will.
He's probably just
saving the best for last.
I forgot some of my apology tour,
someone who has been very loyal,
who has always been there for me.
I'm sorry, Churro.
I'm sorry I threw a shoe
at you when I was drunk.
I thought you were a gremlin.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
♪
We're here.
You guys were gone a long time.
Oh, we had the best day.
Shopping, lunch at the
Cheesecake Factory,
a couple's massage.
Couple's massage?
No, don't worry.
She told everyone I was gay
so it wouldn't be weird.
I love shopping with Quinten.
He's always honest
about how good I look.
It is genuine honesty,
not fear.
You guys have been hanging out a lot.
It's like my mom thinks
you're her husband.
- That's silly.
- Quinten, honey,
can you unzip me, I wanna try this on.
I'm thinking of wearing this
dress for dinner on Friday.
Oh, by the way, Quinten and I are
going to have dinner on Friday,
so we're gonna need
you to babysit Chance.
Have you thought about going out
with someone, you know,
not in this family?
Maybe you should start dating.
Maybe you should stop
dating and get married.
- Quinten, zipper!
- Sorry, dear.
Yeah. You're right. She needs a husband.
I think my mom is afraid
to get back out there.
Oh, we should set her up.
I actually know someone.
Walter. He's a sweet guy.
He's he'd one of my
regulars at the Apple store,
so you know he's got money.
Perfect.
My mom and I always dreamed
about having a sugar daddy
to replace our pickled daddy.
♪
Did George apologize for
landing you in Raider jail?
Recently voted third most
violent jail in the country.
No, he has not.
Why don't you just ask him?
If there's one thing I know
about relationships,
it's that you can't ask
men to do things.
You need to trick them.
So to jog his memory,
I got us all tickets
to the Raider-Charger game this Sunday.
Nice.
How'd you afford that?
I saved up and went to the bank.
The sperm bank.
They pay you for your sperm?
I can't give mine away.
Once George remembers
how he betrayed me,
he's gonna feel bad, apologize,
and then probably ask me
to take his last name.
Ooh. Where's my coffee?
Just how you like it, black
with a splash of cream
and 24 sugars.
One of these is a Splenda!
You know what you'll think is sweet,
these tickets to the Raider game.
Oh, yeah, that is sweet, Oscar,
but you know, I don't go
to the games anymore,
since I stopped drinking.
I mean, without paying $23 for
a Bud Light, where's the fun?
Wait. Hey! Hey!
It can be fun sober.
I don't know, man.
My favorite part was all
the stuff we did wasted.
Like tussling with that angry chola.
At least I think she was angry.
I can't tell the way they
draw their eyebrows on.
My sister arches hers real wide.
She always looks so surprised to see me.
And since I can't drink, I can't go.
You should sell the ticket.
Oh, and give me all the money.
Wait!
What if we all don't drink?
Excuse me?
You'd really stay sober for me?
Yes.
All right. You know what?
I'm in. Let's do it.
ALL: Raider Nation!
I'm here.
And my prayers have been answered.
You're finally coming to church
with me on a non-holiday.
I already told Jesus.
He's very excited to see you.
How come Jesus doesn't have
to wear a suit to church?
I should be allowed to
go in my chonies too.
But before we go,
Quinten and I have someone
that we would like you to meet.
Are you trying to set me up?
I'm not looking to date anyone.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
But Quinten's found you
a real catch, Mom.
Soon you'll be on a romantic
three-month cruise.
It'll be the best vacation of my life.
Your life.
Buenos días.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Rosie.
Ah!
Sorry. You know, arthritis in my hand.
No, no, no. I can get it.
I can get it.
Need a hand there, Walter?
Nope. I got it.
He don't got it.
Will you excuse us a moment, Walter?
Why would you think it was a good idea
to set me up with Father Time?
Was there no one older available,
like the Gutenberg Bible, Chichen Itza,
a pterodactyl?
That's what you think I
want for my romantic life?
That's what you think I deserve?
No, I just think that at your age,
your options might be limited.
[GASPS]
That came out wrong.
And what would be the
right way to say that?
Mom, you've been divorced ten years.
Don't you miss male companionship?
I get plenty of sex, Mayan.
What?
Do you really think I can't get any?
Look at me.
I go to church on Sundays to make up
for what I do on Saturdays.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
♪
[CROWD CHEERING]
The last time we won the Super
Bowl, my hair was black
and this tooth right here was silver.
Now, it's reversed.
This could be our year.
This is our year.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
Welcome to the field our special guest,
NFL legend and future Hall of Famer,
Marshawn Lynch!
[2 UNLIMITED'S "GET READY FOR THIS"]
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
♪
Make some noise for Beast Mode!
CROWD: [CHANTING] Beast Mode!
Beast Mode! Beast Mode!
- Beast Mode!
- And ladies, he's single
and in the best shape of his life.
I'm single and in the best
shape of my life too.
This is fun, huh?
You don't need to be drunk
like those fools over there.
It's like they have no dignity.
Oh, pardon me.
Excuse me.
You look like the Mexican Bowser.
You're not wearing your nipple spikes?
Now that I'm at my first game sober,
I realize everyone's staring
at me and I look stupid.
Doesn't that remind you of
the time that we were here
and I looked stupid.
It was a cold autumn eve.
You look stupid all the time,
man, all four seasonings.
Oh, man, I know it's hard
not to drink today, guys,
and I truly appreciate it, man.
That's real friendship.
Hey, let's take a selfie.
You can't even see me.
Who cares, man? My hair looks great.
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
And now, it's time for the dance cam.
♪
When a man can look like a damn fool
for the love of his team,
that's what Raider Nation is all about.
Man, being at this game reminds me,
I owe someone a huge apology.
Oh. This is the perfect time to say it.
- Oscar?
- Yes, George?
Can you slide through here, man?
I'm gonna apologize to Momo.
The last time we were here,
I was the one that put
that spike on your seat.
That was you?
Raul had to pull that out.
I still owe him a favor.
I know. I'm sorry, man.
- I love you, man.
- I love you too.
[CROWD CHEERING]
I take it back.
Grown men crying,
that's what Raider Nation is all about.
Women, take note.
[VOICE BREAKS] Football is our therapy.
Ow.
You are wearing the nipple spikes.
No, I'm just really happy.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
Mom's so mad.
But seriously, who lies
about getting laid?
Can I help you?
She ain't mad no mo'.
Oh, my God, you're Mayan.
Your mom has told me so many stories
and shown me so many pictures.
And who are you?
Mayan, what are you doing here?
You can't just show up unannounced
to someone's house.
♪
Waited 15 minutes for the bathroom,
then 30 minutes for the nachos.
By then I had to go to the
bathroom all over again.
You waited for the bathroom?
I just went here.
Raider Nation!
ALL: Raider Nation!
Is that beer?
No. It's my pee.
I know the difference
between pee and Corona.
I learned that the hard way.
What the hell, man? I thought you
guys said you weren't gonna drink.
Oscar had the idea to
hide beer in coffee cups.
- Momo!
- What?
You know I'm a chismosa when I'm buzzed.
Hey, man. How could you do that?
Doesn't feel good when your
friends let you down, does it?
No, it doesn't. I think you
owe me an apology.
No. You owe me an apology.
- For what?
- For getting wasted
and not having my back
with Marshawn Lynch.
Not having your back with Marshawn?
Man, you were the reason
I was drunk that day.
What are you talking about?
If AA taught me anything,
it taught me that you're an enabler.
And once I looked up what enabler meant,
I realized, I didn't owe you an apology.
Enabler.
I have taken your car keys.
I have called Mayan so many
times to let her know
that her dad was not
passed out in a ditch.
And I am the one who
took you to the hospital
when you almost died last year.
No way, man. The ambulance
took me to the hospital.
Of course you don't remember.
Forget the Marshawn apology.
You should be apologizing for
20 years of our friendship.
I am done with you, man,
just like I am done pretending
that I am a Raider fan.
Bang bang, Niner gang.
♪
Well, now that you're both dressed,
I just have one question.
What the hell?
She means, how did you two meet?
Josué is a personal injury attorney,
specializing in car accidents
and dog attacks and looking fine.
Hey, maybe you've seen my ad.
Get bit by a Shih Tzu,
this lawyer bites back.
Wha you you're No Way Josué!
Oh!
I have seen your face on buses
and shopping carts and urinals.
That is so cool.
It's not that cool.
Once I saw how much attention
Rosie La Reina's billboard was getting,
I decided to put one
right in front of hers.
So then she stormed into my office
and, well, gave me a piece of her mind.
But then I decided to give him
a piece of something else.
BOTH: Ew.
Her heart.
BOTH: Oh.
Wait, those billboards
have been up for a while.
So you guys have been dating for
Six months.
When were you planning on telling me?
When I was put into a situation
where I was forced to tell you.
Cookies?
So, hey. I'm here with
quarterback Jim Plunkett.
There's not a lot of people
that deserve the title Raider legend.
But Jim, how does it feel
to be talking to one?
And who are you?
You know Oscar took me to the hospital?
Yeah, because you were unconscious.
He picked you up and
dropped you off himself
because the ambulance
wouldn't have made it on time.
He saved my life.
Man, I feel terrible.
Imagine how I feel having to tell you.
I gotta make this right.
I gotta go to the bathroom again.
♪
[PHONE RINGS]
Is that your mom again?
Yes.
And I am not speaking to her,
unless I need her to babysit,
cook, clean, or do my taxes.
Isn't Josué what we
wanted for her, though?
Why are you so upset?
Because we tell each other everything,
so it hurts that she kept him
secret from me for six months.
I'm here.
To remind you, if I'm not in your life,
you just have your dad.
Why didn't you tell me
about Josué sooner?
I was nervous.
After everything we've been
through with your dad,
I didn't wanna just bring
any man into your life.
I had to make sure that he
was worthy of meeting you.
Well, is he?
I think he is.
Is he worthy of meeting me?
Oh, Quinten.
You're no one to him until
you put a ring on it.
[CROWD CHEERING]
Not a good idea trying
to get out of here
with a Niner jersey on.
I am lucky they let me keep my pants.
Did you see George?
He went looking for you.
No, I did not see George,
and I don't care.
It's time for me to be the main
character of my own life.
Do you need a sidekick?
Sorry, bro. I already have Raul.
Excuse me?
Yeah, so how was it playing
in those great days?
Is that George?
Well, I played when the defenses
could actually hit the quarterback.
What the hell?
Excuse me, Marshawn, Mr. Jim Plunkett.
You should be in the NFL
Hall of Fame, by the way.
- You seem like a nice guy.
- Well, I'm not.
I deserve to be in the Hall
of Fame of bad friends.
Oscar, I'm sorry you had to put
up with a drunk version of me
for all those years.
The drunk version?
Wait. You sober right now?
Beast Mode, can we go silent mode.
Oscar, you always have my back,
even when I don't have yours.
I'm sorry that it took me
so long to apologize.
I was wrong. Wait a minute.
In AA, the 10th step is
admitting that you're wrong.
I did it! Ha! All 10 steps.
Raiders!
- No, no, no. It's actually 12 steps.
- No, in Mexico, it's 10.
This is for you, Oscar!
Mr. Plunkett, can you hold that?
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTS]
You wanna call security?
Yeah. Hey, security!
Oh, my God.
He tried to tackle Beast Mode for me.
I hope security goes easy on him.
And he's down.
Let's go bail him out
of Raider jail, boys.
[UPBEAT SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, my God! You're No Way Josué!
You must be George.
How did you know that?
Is Marshawn suing?
That wasn't me. That was Eric Estrada.
No, George.
This is my boyfriend.
Oh.
Is this some kind of a joke?
No way, Josué.
Just so you know, I'm in AA.
I'm making amends,
so right now, I just wanna
say I'm sorry for everything.
But you haven't done anything to me.
Don't worry. It's coming.
♪