Lost In Space (1965) s02e16 Episode Script

The Girl from the Green Dimension

[ Man Narrating .]
Last week, as you recall we left Will, Dr.
Smith and the Robot at the electron telescope just as a solar gale had trapped them in a sudden rain of giant cosmic bolts.
- Danger! Danger! - [ Explosions .]
- [ Explosions Continue .]
- Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! Danger! It's begun to abate.
I think it's safe to go out now.
You first, my boy.
I thought you said Sagittarius people were bold.
Bold, yes, but not balmy.
Your body, being smaller than mine offers less of a target for flying debris.
I'll hold your hand, so you won't be blown away.
It's almost over.
You can come out now.
Ah! What an exhilarating experience.
Man against the elements is the essence of heroism.
I feel powerful enough to conquer the universe.
[ Raspy Laughing .]
You find that funny, you automated oaf? Negative.
I am clearing the solar dust from my memory banks.
Look at the electronic telescope.
Its lights are blinking green.
That, Will Robinson, is the action of a deposit of positron particles combined with solarized ions from an unknown source.
They are highly energized.
Are they dangerous? I mean, can we still use the telescope? They are not dangerous, but I cannot compute what they have done to our optical system.
I'll see.
Golly, Dr.
Smith! Look at this! - What is it-- another solar gale? - Uh-uh.
The Robot would have warned us if it was.
Take a look.
- [ Dr.
Smith Gasps .]
- [ No Audible Dialogue .]
No, it can't be.
It's not possible! [ Switch Clicks .]
Why'd you turn her off? She looked kinda nice just like she did when you did that space dance with her during our flight.
You sure acted gaga over her then.
Maybe she's a Sagittarius, like you.
- Sagittarius? Let's see.
- [ Switch Clicks .]
[ Gasps .]
She's an optical illusion, nothing more.
She is not an illusion and my sensors indicate that she can also see you.
She's a vagrant memory of the past a phantasma of the night.
You, sir, strike and carry.
We're going back to camp.
[ Gasps .]
- [ Switch Clicks .]
- Green lady indeed.
I'm frightened.
- I don't like it.
- I still don't think she was a phantasma - or whatever you called her.
- Of course she was, a mere will-o'-the-wisp.
Just thinking of her is a menace.
- I thought you liked her.
- At the time, I was merely being gallant, my boy as I always am to a lady.
Being a man of the world, I wouldn't dream of being anything but kind and considerate to the weaker sex.
Bless their dear little feminine hearts.
Even though she's a menace.
Only to those inexperienced in the ways of-- [ Gasps .]
William! William! Oh, no! You're not real! Go away! Go away! You frighten me! [ Grunts .]
Oh! Oh! [ Moaning, Whimpering .]
Oh! Oh, dear! Oh! I feel a stitch under the heart.
We must have run that last mile in three minutes.
Under other circumstances, it would have been a world's record.
- [ Yelps .]
- Correction.
You ran the last 300 yards in three minutes-- a record for snails, not humans.
Spare me the technicalities, you computerized clod.
Take a few deep breaths, Dr.
It'll steady your breathing.
Oh, I seriously doubt it, but I will try.
Very well.
[ Deep, Gasping Breaths .]
What's all the heavy breathing about, Smith? And don't tell me it's from hard work.
Oh! Your cracker-barrel humor leaves me unmoved, Major.
The fact of the matter is my personal courage - saved us all from a fate worse than death.
- [ Scoffs .]
Do you feel strong enough, Doctor, to describe that fate to us? No, no.
The less said, the better.
Well, perhaps you can tell us about it, Son.
- Well, it wasn't as bad as Dr.
Smith said it was.
- Indeed! Well, first, we ran into this solar gale.
Or should I say it ran into us.
Then later on, we saw the green girl through my telescope.
- Girl? What girl? - That sinister creature that we encountered out in space the one who wanted to drink our deutronium fuel.
Oh, Dr.
Smith, really.
I thought she was anything but sinister.
You don't know her as well as I do, dear lady.
- After all, it was me that she hypnotized.
- Go on, Son.
Well, when we started to come back to the camp, she materialized in person.
- Right out of the telescope.
- [ Sighs .]
What happened after that? Well, she tried to be friendly to Dr.
But he didn't see it that way, so we ran.
Oh, now, really, Will.
Son, this isn't one of your little flights of fancy, is it? No, sir! Absolutely not! Sir.
I see.
Well, it's, uh-- it's getting late.
- We'll talk about it tomorrow.
- She's here! She followed us.
[ Don .]
She's for real, all right.
She must be after more of our deutronium fuel.
No, no.
She wants me.
Look at her making those big eyes at me.
I should never have been so nice to her.
- I think she's trying to tell you something, Dr.
- I don't wish to hear it.
- I think she's trying to tell you something, Dr.
- I don't wish to hear it.
Say something to her, Smith.
You seem to fascinate her.
- Yes.
She might understand you.
- I'd rather she didn't.
If she does understand you, why don't you just tell her to go away? [ Maureen .]
Go on, Dr.
Give it a try.
Yes, I will.
Scat! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! Shoo! You're not wanted here.
On your way! Shoo! Shoo! Keep her away from me! Save me from her! Keep her away.
Data indicates that female from the green dimension is harmless, defenseless and peaceful.
I am not programmed for unwarranted aggression in this instance.
I can fix that.
She's leaving.
Oh, Dr.
Smith, she must have known what you were going to do.
One must be firm with these creatures.
Now that she knows how I feel about her, she will never return.
You may rest easy now, Major.
Your supply of precious deutronium is quite safe.
Unless she took off for our drill site.
- We'll go up there tomorrow and take a look.
- Without me, I trust.
- I require a full day in bed to recuperate.
- Oh.
- Hmm.
- You know, if goldbricks were worth anything we'd have a fortune in Dr.
Yeah, a Fort Knox.
Yeah, a Fort Knox.
[ Calling .]
Athena? Athena.
Where are you, my treasure? Athena? Where are you, love? Athena.
Where is that silly girl? The ordeals I endure in the interest of science.
However, it's a small enough price to pay for the secret of learning to read the future.
Athena? Yoo-hoo! Athena.
"Doc-tor" Smith is waiting for you, my precious.
[ Wind Gusting .]
That must be she.
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
- Athena? - [ Roars .]
Athena? - [ Growling .]
- No! Oh, no, my dear sir, I assure you I am perfectly harmless.
Oh! If only I understood what you were trying to tell me.
- [ Roars .]
- Oh! No, no! You must understand.
I was just here to visit a friend.
- [ Growls .]
- Urso.
[ Cooing .]
[ Cooing .]
- [ Growls, Roars .]
- [ Yelps, Shrieks .]
[ Continues Cooing .]
[ Low Growl .]
- [ Cooing .]
- [ Growls .]
Oh, thank goodness.
- Oh, Athena.
- [ Coos .]
[ Roars .]
Oh, thank you, my dear.
Thank you.
I thought he was going to kill me.
Ooh, handsome, pretty, handsome - Doc-tor Smith.
- Oh, no, no.
No, no, no, my dear.
You mustn't.
Doc-tor Smith doesn't like that.
Oh, so brave, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
- Brave? - [ Coos .]
Oh, yes indeed, my dear.
As a matter of fact, when you came upon me I was just running to a point where there was enough room for a real battle.
[ Athena .]
That good.
That good.
Athena, you seem to have some influence over that creature.
Will you kindly send him away? Then we can be alone.
No creature.
That Urso.
[ Coos .]
He friend.
He love Athena before you come.
Good heavens.
A rejected suitor? [ Growling, Roars .]
Is-- Is this what all the males look like where you come from? In that case, I quite understand your preference for me.
- You pretty, like girl.
- Oh, how nice.
Much nice.
- Oh.
You not girl? - Good heavens, no.
[ Sighs .]
You like Athena? Like you? My dear little flower - let me tell-- - [ Growling .]
- Can't you dispose of your friend? - [ Roaring .]
He think you want power to tell future.
He think you do not want me.
- That's ridiculous.
- [ Giggles .]
- What are you laughing at, my dear? - When you angry, nose wiggle.
Me love watch nose wiggle.
I'm justly famous for my nose wiggle, my dear.
Be that as it may, Athena, you do understand that during the courtship, for the young lady to bestow upon her betrothed a trifling token of love something of a pre-dowry.
- "Dowry"? - Nothing much.
Possibly a hint or two on how to predict the future.
Then Doc-tor Smith and Athena be together forever, yes? Unquestionably.
[ Giggling, Cooing .]
[ Cooing .]
- Are you thirsty, my dear? - "Thirsty"? Unfortunately, I don't have my canteen, but I'll get you some water.
Not water.
Oh, yes, of course.
I forgot.
Now, you stay right there, and, when I return we shall talk further.
[ Yelps .]
- I admire your color, sir.
- [ Roars .]
[ Shrieks .]
Now, exactly what happened just before you looked through that telescopic viewer, Son? When the solar gale hit, it changed the telescope somehow.
And that's when you saw the girl through the telescope.
- Right.
- Well, I can't explain it.
Can you? Well, you think of that telescopic viewer as some kind of a-- a window into another dimension-- well, like the green dimension.
- Well-- - Then you might say she just climbed in through the window.
- Something like that, Son.
- [ Chuckles .]
Well, I'm glad we solved that knotty problem in galactic transportation.
- [ Laughs .]
- John, look.
Two gone.
Well, I suppose we should be grateful she didn't drink them all.
- I wonder how she pried that lock off.
- With her green thumb? From now on, we'd better keep our deutronium back at the ship.
Well, I would, except it's so inflammable.
Let's get the extractor.
We'll decide where to store it later.
Oh, no, my dear.
You've had quite enough.
Now I'm going to teach you to speak our language fluently, Athena.
- Won't that be nice? - [ Coos .]
And then, my dear, you'll give me a hint or two on how to see into the future.
- A trifling token? - Exactly.
Smith-- What are you doing? - I thought you were scared of her.
- Oh, I was, my boy.
I was.
But in the interests of, uh, cultural ethnology I forced myself to overcome my fears.
And now you've got her feeding out of your hand with our deutronium.
Handsome, pretty, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
- Say again.
- Say what, dear? - What you said to me, I guess.
- Ah, yes.
In the interests of cultural ethnology-- Maybe that's why she likes you so much-- the way your nose wiggles.
Nonsense, my boy.
Her E.
discovered that I alone of all of us live on a very high spiritual plane.
- Let's return the deutronium.
- We can't, William.
We can't begrudge it to her.
It's her food.
She needs it to live.
Handsome, pretty, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
Soon we will be together forever, yes? If you consent to anything like that she's gonna expect you to keep your word.
Sometimes it is necessary to humor the fancies of these aliens in order to get their cooperation.
Think of it, William.
Think of it.
Think what we can learn from her-- to see into the future the power of prognostication, to know all, to be omniscient.
- Surely that's worth a few trifling cans of deutronium.
- Well, maybe, but-- Now, please, my boy, don't be a tattletale and tell your father about it.
Mum's the word until the time comes when I can share my newfound power with all my dear friends.
- Now run along, William.
- Okay, but-- [ Sighs .]
Now, Athena, where were we? Ah, yes.
The future.
First, make nose wiggle.
[ Giggling .]
There you are.
Thank you.
## [ Dr.
Smith Singing Old-fashioned Tune .]
[ Continues .]
[ Stops .]
Why, Dr.
Smith, that's splendid.
Thank you very much, madam.
I do feel I'm in splendid voice today.
Yes, you are.
Oh, tell me how is your language of silence coming along? "Language of silence"? You said you were going to study the sky for a treatise you're writing.
Oh, yes.
Yes, indeed.
It's going splendidly.
Thank you very much.
Oh, by the way.
I do hope you have your first aid kit with you.
- Why? Are you hurt? - No, no.
Not I.
- But Judy will be very shortly.
- What? Now, really, Dr.
Smith, that sounds like morbid wishful thinking.
Nothing to worry about, dear lady.
It will be a slight cut on the index finger of the left hand.
Ouch! Ouch! - What happened? - I just got jabbed by one of those thorns.
Let me see.
- I think we'd better take care of that.
- All right.
Tampering with alien devices is a most dangerous game.
Once I learn the secret of that telescope there will be a magnificent future ahead for me.
What care I for danger when an incredible scientific breakthrough can be achieved? I forgot.
You are "brave, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
" Well, don't you forget it.
[ Resumes Singing .]
[ Thunder Crashing .]
It sure is spooky up here, Dr.
- Couldn't we have waited till morning? - Don't worry, my boy.
There's absolutely no danger.
[ Hushed .]
The darkest hour before dawn is a fitting time to peer into the future.
If there is no danger, why are you whispering? Silence, you cackling cannister! Well, William, are you ready to behold the wonders of the future? Are you sure, Dr.
Smith? Isn't it just better to live each day as it comes? Spare me the dull clichés you learned at your mother's knee, dear boy.
- [ Low Growl .]
- Shh! There's someone here.
- Where? Where? - [ Snoring .]
- Do you know who he is? - Hush.
We don't want to wake him.
- Yeah, but who is he? - A disgruntled suitor of Athena's and a very suspicious individual.
He wants to keep me away from the telescope.
Pure jealousy, of course.
But I'm sure he won't mind if you take a peek.
I wish I could be sure about that.
Your fears are quite groundless, my boy, I assure you.
If you leave him alone, he'll leave you alone.
Now go ahead and tell me what you see.
I still don't think this is a good idea, Dr.
Nonsense, my boy.
Think of the glowing visions of the future that will appear before your eyes the happiness that lies ahead for you and all your dear ones.
How can you be sure it'll be happiness? By always looking at the bright side of things.
Now go ahead, take a look.
[ No Audible Dialogue .]
Warning! Warning! The alien present from the green dimension is advancing in your direction, Will Robinson! [ Growling .]
No! [ Shrieks .]
- [ Murmuring Growl .]
- S-Sorry if I woke you, sir.
[ Loud Growl .]
- [ Roars .]
- [ Yelps .]
[ Murmuring Growl .]
Where is he? Where did he go? - That dreadful man.
- He didn't hurt me, Dr.
- He was even kind of friendly.
- Was he indeed? - William.
- What's wrong? William.
You're green as a pickle.
Ow! Hey, take it easy, Mom.
- You don't have to scrub so hard.
- [ Sighs .]
Besides, I don't think you could take this stuff off with a scouring pad.
Oh, I'm afraid you're right.
I think we're gonna have to find some other kind of solvent.
- Ow! - Will.
How many times have you been told not to let Dr.
Smith talk you into following him on those harebrained schemes of his? I know, Dad, but I just thought we'd get a glimpse of the future.
You know, like when Dr.
Smith saw Judy jab her finger.
Only this time, I thought it'd be more interesting.
[ Laughs .]
"Interesting" is hardly the word for it.
I guess I look a little bit like Athena now.
- Is anybody gonna laugh at me? - [ Laughing .]
Of course not, Son.
You should not feel badly.
Green is not an unattractive color.
Oh, you're a real big help.
But I really feel sorry for Dr.
- He feels responsible for all this.
- Well, I should think so.
But the worst thing he did was to bring you back and leave you and then run away.
Well, maybe he didn't wanna talk to anybody.
When we find him, he's gonna have a lot of talking to do, Son.
Come on, dear.
Now let's go in to breakfast.
Judy and Penny are waiting.
- I'm not very hungry, Mom.
- Oh, Will.
Don't you think that the sooner they see you - the sooner they can get accustomed to you? - [ Sighs .]
You haven't really changed, you know.
Come on.
Anybody can be green.
Not as desirable or exclusive as a sturdy silver-gray but acceptable.
Athena? Athena! Athena, where are you? Oh, dear! Athena! Where are you, my little green bird? Athena? Athena, where are you? Oh, dear.
What a disaster.
What a terrible calamity has befallen me.
How cruel they are to blame me.
All I was trying to do was to let that dear boy share in the splendors of-- Doc-tor Smith.
Doc-tor Smith.
Oh, Athena, thank heaven I found you.
Pretty, pretty.
Make nose wiggle.
Not now, my treasure.
I'm in a terrible jam.
"Jam"? What am jam? There's no time for explanations now, Athena.
No time at all.
You must come with me at once and see what that unprincipled heathen Urso has done to Will.
Only you can save me from permanent disgrace and possible bodily injury.
Now come, dear.
We must hurry.
[ Cooing .]
Oh, he are beautiful.
"Beautiful"? That's not a word to use for boys.
Me do not know much word.
Doc-tor Smith teach I more plenty soon.
The point is, Athena, regardless of how you feel Will looks now we'd rather have him back the way he was.
You simply must change him back.
Not like green? Oh, there's nothing wrong with it.
Except that you must realize that my son belongs in this dimension, not yours.
Now, I can't explain what happened, and maybe you can.
But that's not important.
The important thing is we've got to help Will.
Not understand.
It is very pretty green.
Me green.
Not like I? Yes, of course we do, Athena.
Then you like boy.
- Nothing wrong with green boy.
- [ Sighs .]
Well, it-it's just that we want our boy to be the way he was.
I sorry.
I cannot help.
Urso play game on handsome, pretty, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
Urso only one can change boy back.
That terrible man.
Athena jilted him for me.
- I suppose this is his revenge.
- Is he also from the green dimension? - Where else? - [ Maureen .]
Oh, dear.
Well, why the blazes should she want you rather than one of her own kind? Doc-tor Smith are brilliant.
You are not so smart.
He are brave.
You are scaredy-cats.
- He tell I.
- That's quite enough, my dear.
Doc-tor Smith are special.
He make nose wiggle when he speak.
Only one in green dimension with nose wiggle.
- Where is this Urso? - Urso wait for Doc-tor Smith.
For me? Why? Urso play game on boy.
Now you play game on Urso.
But I don't know any games.
Punch, kick choke, break bone.
All very good game.
Handsome, pretty, handsome.
You win for I, Doc-tor.
But it's not fair.
It's not fair.
He's a heavyweight, and I'm a mere bantam.
Can't you persuade him to forget the whole thing, my dear? It old custom in green dimension.
When new one fight will kill old one.
You win for I.
Handsome, pretty, handsome Doc-tor Smith.
But I'm not in condition.
I shall require at least a month in a training camp.
Urso wait now.
I could show you a few karate tricks before you go, Dr.
Thank you, no.
I shall never be a match for that brute.
You no fight game with Urso? No.
No, it's out of the question.
Doc-tor Smith disappoint I.
Doc-tor Smith not love Athena.
You no play fight game with Urso Athena go.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear.
The Herculean labors that she demands of me.
Now you can see what an impossible creature she is.
Well, judging from what you must have told her, Dr.
Smith I'd say she's just expecting you to keep your word.
I merely told her a-- a little about myself.
You promised to go to the green dimension with her.
That was a tactical maneuver in the interests of science, my boy.
Well, with your experience with tactical maneuvers I don't think you'll have any trouble with Urso.
And what's more, Smith, I'm not gonna let you weasel out of this one.
Now you got Will into this.
You're gonna get him out.
- Hi.
- Oh.
Hi, Penny.
What are you doing way out here, Will? Looking at the stars.
They look kind of friendly tonight.
- More friendly than we are? - Maybe.
You know that's not so.
- Isn't it? - Of course not.
Would you like to play a game of chess with me? No, thanks, Penny.
Not right now.
You think you're something special just because you're green, don't you? Well, you're not.
You're the same Will Robinson you always were.
And if you think we're gonna make a big fuss over you or treat you differently, you're wrong.
I don't want anyone making any fuss.
I just want you to leave me alone.
Leave me alone! I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have said that.
- It's nothing you said.
- Well, then what is it? Will, couldn't we-- I mean, couldn't you do something that would make me green too? - You wouldn't want that.
- I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.
After all, green's a very nice color.
It goes with everything.
You know, I never thought about that.
Maybe I just will play you that game of chess now.
- You're not brooding, are you? - No.
But I could be persuaded to very easily.
Shouldn't they be in bed? [ Maureen .]
This is the first time Will has shown any interest in anything since he turned green.
I'm gonna let them stay up as late as they like.
- John? - Yeah.
There's no sign of that joker she calls Urso.
- Now, where's Smith? - I left him up by the telescope.
- How do you know he won't run away? - I left the Robot with him.
Besides, he knows, if he starts running, he'd better keep on running.
[ Chuckles .]
[ Chuckles .]
[ Whining .]
If he doesn't come very soon, I shall claim victory.
Is it possible that he's afraid of me? Negative.
If only I knew what the outcome of all this will be.
"Outcome" synonym for "prediction.
" Prediction? No, no.
Better not.
No telling what will happen.
One green skin in the family is quite enough.
You, sir, come here.
Approach the telescope, activate your sensors and report your observations to me.
You wish to peek into the future and find out what will happen after the fight? Whether you will survive the moment of truth? Spare me your bullring dramatics, you ludicrous lump.
- Do as you're told.
- If you insist.
But I have been programmed to dislike the sight of blood.
Your programming is of no interest to me, you bumbling birdbrain.
But maybe you're right.
It might be too hideous to look at.
Oh, dear.
If only I knew whether he was coming.
Perhaps I could leave him a note claiming victory through default.
- Dr.
Smith, he is here! - What? What? Where? Where? - Uh! - [ Roars .]
Not so fast, Urso, old boy.
Not so fast.
- We both need time to prepare, you know.
- [ Roars .]
Are you familiar with the Marquis of Queensberry's rules? - [ Growling .]
- No, I don't suppose you are.
- [ Roars .]
- Couldn't we talk this over, Urso, old boy? I mean, as man-to-man or whatever you are.
Confidentially, I am an innocent victim in all this.
I can't help being so attractive to Athena.
But-- But between you and me, she's really not my type.
[ Snarling .]
[ Shrieking .]
- [ Growling .]
- [ Yelps .]
Oh! Don't you hurt me! Stop that at once! Do you hear? - What are you doing? - Lead with the left, Dr.
Smith! No! Stop that, you dreadful person! Stop it, please! He'll make mincemeat out of me! A right to the jaw! A left to the head! Oh, dear! "Mince-meat"! Oh, dear! Don't turn me green.
[ Low Growl .]
[ Growls .]
But I don't understand.
It's just the family standing about.
[ Loud Growl .]
There's an old saying that what is buried in the ground is soon forgotten.
But this is one time that I'm not likely to forget.
Nor will I.
A wonderful helper-- tireless, loyal - [ Sniffles .]
- uncomplaining.
It's a funeral for some space unfortunate with everyone watching.
Professor, Mrs.
Robinson, Major West, Judy, Penny and-- No.
No, it can't be.
They're all there but me.
It's my funeral.
- [ Roars .]
- Who el-- Who else can it be? Who else is loyal, tireless and uncomplaining? Oh, dear.
My end has come.
I'm going to die.
So young! So young! [ Roars .]
[ Roars .]
Oh, the pain, the pain.
[ Whirring .]
[ Whirring .]
[ Muffled .]
Here's the trouble.
The atomic cooker's heating coils are shot.
Looks like we'll have to junk the whole unit.
We're gonna miss it too.
John? Any word yet about Dr.
Smith? No.
We'll take another look as soon as we bury this contaminated unit.
There was no trace of him when you looked this morning? No.
As far as I know, he could have gone off to the green dimension.
That I doubt.
I've got a hunch he's out there someplace skulking around until he comes up with an alibi that he thinks we'll swallow.
Mmm! Taste this, Will.
I crossed that minty stuff with that yellow fruit we found and now it tastes like licorice.
No, thanks, Penny.
- Is it because you don't care for anything but-- - But what? Well, maybe the kind of food we like doesn't appeal to you anymore.
- Would you like me to get you some-- - Deutronium? [ Scoffs .]
No, not quite that.
I don't think I'm ready for that yet.
- Besides, I've got other things on my mind.
- You're worried about Dr.
- So am I.
- I think I'd better go look for him.
- I'll go with you.
- No, Penny.
You stay here.
It's not that I don't want you, but, well, I feel Dr.
Smith's my responsibility right now.
[ Sighs .]
Careful, you clumsy clunk.
You nearly asphyxiated me.
Smith? Ah.
Dear William how good of you to bring me comfort in my last hours.
Everyone's been worried about you, sir.
Dad and Don were out looking for you, and I was afraid that you might be-- Don't spare me the word, my boy.
You were afraid I was dead.
Whatever small consolation it might be I expect to live a bit longer-- on borrowed time, you might say.
However, I fear my mortal hours are numbered.
- You mean you're gonna die soon? - It could happen at any moment.
- How can you say that until you meet Urso? - We have already met.
I could have fought him to a standstill or broken his back but the cunning rascal outsmarted me and lured me into seeing my future.
And as you can see, I'm working on it now.
- Your own tombstone? - Yes, indeed.
It's a bitter task, but one that I prefer not to leave to others.
[ Blows .]
Dear William, you do understand that, under the circumstances I was much too demoralized to do anything further about your green condition? I understand, Dr.
That's okay.
I just can't believe that you won't be with us much longer.
- Can you, Robot? - I have already written Dr.
Smith off, Will Robinson.
You traitor! After all I've done for you.
Well, in any case, how do you like it so far? - It's okay, I guess.
- What do you mean, "you guess"? In my own humble opinion, it's an outstanding example of the stone carver's art worthy of a Michelangelo.
You are fortunate that Michelangelo is not around to hear you say that.
Silence, you uncultured clump.
Maybe if I went to Athena, she might know a way to save you.
No, William.
The moving finger writes and, having writ, moves on.
It wouldn't do any harm to try.
If the worst comes to the worst, as I'm sure it will would you tell her that I would like her, please, to come to my funeral? It will be a magnificent ceremony.
[ Sighs .]
What a brave young lad he is.
I must write a will and leave him something to remember me by.
Yes, I have it.
I shall leave him my priceless collection of self-portraits.
There is a much better way for him to remember you by, Dr.
What can a man so close to death leave to another but his treasures? A man so close to death can fight to the death with Urso.
After all, you have nothing to lose but your life.
- What? - I will now go to Urso and issue your challenge to a duel to the death.
It is a far, far better thing than you have ever done.
You will go out in savage splendor.
[ Subdued .]
Never fear, Smith is here.
But not for long.
Athena! [ Athena Cooing .]
- [ Cooing .]
- Boy, am I glad to find you.
I've gotta talk to you about Dr.
Handsome, brave handsome Doc-tor Smith.
I thought you were angry at him.
He go make fight game with Urso.
- How'd you know about that? - Athena know much many everything.
Oh, so brave Doc-tor Smith.
He make fight for me.
Well, he's only fighting because he looked into the future and saw that he's gonna die anyway.
That's why I came to you, to see if you could help him-- so he won't have to fight Urso and die.
- Please, Athena.
- You love Doc-tor Smith? - Kind of, I guess.
- He make wiggle nose for little green boy? No.
He just did that for you.
Now, I know you think Dr.
Smith's brave and handsome and romantic and bold and all that stuff but, well, I think you should know the truth about him.
Smith's just a scaredy-cat.
- Scaredy-cats? - Yeah.
He's afraid of his own shadow.
You've gotta help him, Athena.
Handsome pretty, handsome Doc-tor Smith? - A scaredy-cats? - Uh-huh.
You cute little green fella.
How about you come to green dimension with Athena? I may be a cute little green fella - but I don't think I'm ready to fly yet.
- "Hokay.
" Doc-tor Smith.
We hide.
It was quite unnecessary to bring that along, you know.
In the interest of efficient handling and to avoid unnecessary transportation I thought it was sound economics.
[ Scoffs .]
Indeed! You ghoul! [ Growling .]
No! You needn't be in such a devilish hurry to finish me off, you know.
The antagonists will now select their weapons.
- [ Growling .]
- Yes! Yes! - [ Roars .]
- [ Shrieks .]
[ Yelps .]
- [ Growling .]
- Yes, yes, yes! Oh, doomed to die.
Places, gentlemen! Please! - [ Growling .]
- Yes.
Yes, I'm going! - [ Roars .]
- [ Yelps .]
Yes! Oh! Oh! - Oh, dear.
- Ready! - One, two - [ Whimpering .]
- three, four, five, six-- - [ Shrieks .]
- Come back! Foul! Foul! - [ Roaring .]
Come back! [ Roars .]
There's an old saying that what is buried in the ground is soon forgotten.
But this is one time that I'm not likely to forget.
Nor will I.
A wonderful helper-- tireless, loyal - [ Sniffles .]
- uncomplaining.
[ Gasping .]
My dear good friends-- What have you done? You've buried me alive! Oh, now, Dr.
Smith, don't be silly.
Calm down.
- Where have you been? - I'm here, don't you see? Not down there! - You've buried the wrong person! - We haven't buried anyone.
We just got rid of this contaminated piece of radioactive equipment.
- Then the future lied? I'm not gonna die? - [ Roars .]
No, no! You don't understand, Urso.
[ Yelping .]
[ Growling .]
- [ Shrieks .]
- [ Growling .]
[ Yelps .]
No! I'm innocent! - [ Shrieking .]
- [ Growling .]
No! Save me! Do something immediately! Oh! Oh! Spare me! Spare me! Don't hurt me! I could be your dear friend.
I really could.
- Please! Please! - Urso.
- [ Cooing .]
- [ Growling .]
- [ Roars .]
- [ Shrieks .]
[ Subdued Growling .]
[ Cooing .]
[ Murmuring Growl .]
[ Roars .]
- [ Cooing .]
- [ Murmuring Growl .]
So much many disappoint, Doc-tor Smith.
In green dimension, Doc-tor Smith small, small "punkins.
" - Me throw him back, like little fish.
- [ Yelps .]
[ Cooing .]
[ Murmuring Growl .]
Will! - Oh, Will! - [ All .]
Will! - Athena's gone.
- Good.
I don't think she believed me when I told her that Dr.
Smith was a scaredy-cat.
I thought she was going to take me back with her.
I'm sure she understood that we'd much rather have you with us.
- No matter how I look? - No matter how you look.
- Hey.
I'm not green anymore! - That's right.
All right.
Now let's get back to the ship, huh? Come on.
Dear old Sagittarius if you knew what a terrible fate you nearly ordained for me.
What is this thing called love? [ Laughing .]
Love is a plate of spinach.
[ Athena's Voice .]
Handsome, pretty handsome Doc-tor Smith.
[ Calling .]
[ Electricity Crackling .]
[ Explosions .]
Lovely lunch.
Would you care for a cookie, William? Dr.
Smith, the regulator's entering fusion stage.
The radiation count's increasing.
No need to worry.
We're quite safe behind this rock.
But the Robot-- the lead shield might not protect him.
He's merely a servomechanism.
His loss, I'm sure, will not long be remembered.
How can you say things like that? And besides, if there is an explosion-- An explosion? Perhaps you're right.
We'd best do something.
That's all right.
I think the Robot's got it under control.
Ah, good.
The atomic regulator is secure.
There is no more danger of radioactive poisoning.
It certainly took you long enough, you lugubrious laggard.
Now let us return to camp and build fires against the night.
There may well be alien monsters afoot.
- We're safe with the Robot, Dr.
- Safe indeed.
He's about as protective as a leaky umbrella.
- ## [ Trumpet Fanfare .]
- What is that? Good heavens! We're being attacked by aliens! - There's only one, Dr.
- The forerunner of an army! I am Sir Sagramonte of Antair and bid defiance! Prepare to do battle or hold yourself captive knight.
He's going to attack! Do something, you cowardly clunk.
Hurry! Finish him off! I am sorry.
I can do nothing.
Oh, dear!