Loudermilk (2017) s01e02 Episode Script
Shark Week
1 I'm Sam Loudermilk and I'm super-duper excited about getting you on the road to sobriety.
Right now, she's having trouble with her daughter.
I have a feeling that your brand of help may be exactly what she needs.
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
If not, exactly zero shits will be given by me.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B or not 2B.
Well, I guess it's not to be.
As your sponsor and your only friend, you really make it hard for people to like you.
Dude, get away from my girlfriend! Why don't you assholes get out of my way or we're gonna do this the hard way? What the hell were you doing in a bar? You're a drunk, I'm a drunk.
Guys like us can't do that.
Is Sam around or? Okay.
Thanks for coming by.
I'll let him know.
- [HORN HONKS.]
- Excuse me! How far is it to Mount Baker? Mount Baker.
Uh as the crow flies, about 12 miles.
Really? What if I'm an East Asian chinchilla monkey running as fast as I can? How far is it then? Or how far is it as the beaver swims? Let's say I'm a beaver swimming upstream with my family, and one of my beaver kids snaps a flipper.
How far is it gonna be then? Or I'm a three-legged cat, right, he's a blind squirrel.
We're handcuffed together, and we just got to make our way across.
Is that more than 12 miles now or little bit less? 'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel who walks backwards spitting nickels, okay, likes to tack back and forth against the wind.
What's his ETA roughly? Or maybe I'll just saddle up a zoogeographer like yourself and ride your ass all the way to Mount Baker.
How far is it then?! Huh?! [FRANZ FERDINAND'S "STAND ON THE HORIZON" PLAYS.]
Come on.
I just need to get my fix.
Come on! What the fuck are you doing to the coffee machine? Your coffee maker sucks, man! My coffee maker sucks? Yeah, I can make meth faster than that.
I think I have.
You know what? You're always doing it wrong.
You got to do to it right.
You keep doing it wrong.
- I'm doing it wrong? - Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
I'm not doing it wrong, I'm doing it It makes a delicious brew! - [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Why don't you do it then?! Okay?! Oh, fine! You know what? You get the door, and I'll show you how to do the coffee right.
- Keeps doing it wrong, this guy.
- Do it.
Well, just do it.
It's not plugged in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Guess what I've been doing.
No.
I don't play that shit.
Just tell me what you've been doing.
I read your book.
Oh.
Where did you get that? Ben lent it to me.
It's actually pretty good.
Um, thanks.
Uh, I'm making some crappy coffee.
Would you like a cup? Yeah.
I do have one serious question, though.
Shoot.
They did tell you they were taking your picture that day, right? - There it is.
- [LAUGHS.]
You look like a stupid idiot.
Look at you.
[IMITATING EDDIE VEDDER.]
Loudermilk is Chris Cornell Hanging on to the '90s All right, you know what? I-I remember seeing you in the '90s, okay? You had the high fade and the Hammer pants.
Yep, every day for a year.
- Yeah.
- I was "Too Legit to Quit.
" Now you're too big to fail.
Oh, is that a fat joke, or was that based on the The bank crash? It doesn't even make sense.
This guy calls himself a writer.
[SIGHS.]
So how did you dress back then? Actually, I think I dressed the way I dress now.
Wow.
Rebel.
So you're a writer.
I was.
Not anymore.
Yeah, Loudermilk used to work for Spin, Rolling Stone long time ago.
Billy big-time, this guy.
Big, big, big deal back in the day, this guy right here.
Yeah.
Yeah, the books, you can still find them, but I have another gig.
I, uh, I work in In in banking.
Oh, yeah? So what do you do? Uh, I go in, I clean up their messes.
Yeah.
It allows me to live like a king, with a roommate and an apartment.
Shitty coffee maker.
You're doing it wrong! Well, why don't you write anymore? I mean, this is really good.
It's kind of complicated.
See, my thing was that I would go on tour with the bands and then write about all the depravities.
But that's That's just too hard to do when you're sober.
Are you kidding me? A sober guy on the road with a bunch of fucked-up rockstars would be a great book A totally different perspective.
Yeah, until I fall off the wagon on page 4.
[SIGHS.]
Well, why don't you go on the road with a sober band? Well, then I'd fall off the wagon on page 2.
That's the last thing that I need to see is a bunch of rockstars drinking milk and starting shows on time.
Having sex with their wives.
Disgusting.
Well, if I got a copy of your book, would you at least sign it for me? Yeah, I'll think about it.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
It's lively here today.
[SIGHS.]
Wow.
It's an actual bag lady.
What, uh, brings you here to darken my doorstep? Um you got a minute? I'm actually kind of in the middle of something right now.
Can you come back in a half an hour maybe and No, no.
No, no, no, no.
I-I should I should get going.
No, finish the [SIGHS.]
I'll see you later.
LOUDERMILK: All right, good to G All right.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
[SNIFFS.]
You got anything resembling coffee? That's exactly what I have.
That's 'cause you're doing it wrong.
I'll be in my room.
Thanks.
CLAIRE: I got dumped.
And I lost my job again.
And I've been getting black-out drunk every night.
And when I woke up for the fifth day in a row with my head in the toilet, I, um I immediately thought of you.
Well, you suck at compliments.
Um, how'd you find me? Father Mike gave me your address.
Oh.
Well, I owe him one.
My mom's a bitch, and she won't let me come over and stay there until I've cleaned up, so Well, yeah, I mean, you smell like a spicy sausage fart.
No, I mean, like cleaned up cleaned up.
Like, um, you know, everything.
Mm-hmm.
So why are you here? Because I'm serious about getting better.
Okay.
Good.
But I need help.
I can offer you help.
And a place to stay.
[LAUGHS.]
That ain't happening.
No, look.
Please.
I mean, I'll be I'll be really quiet.
You won't even know I'm here.
No.
I don't understand.
Why can't you just find a park bench or an abandoned railway car? I'll get you some toilet paper.
You know what? Fuck you, okay? I shouldn't have even come here.
I can't believe I came here.
- Okay.
Hey, come on.
- I'm such a fucking idiot.
Come All right.
All right, settle.
Relax.
Sit down.
[SIGHS.]
When's the last time you slept? I-I don't know.
Hey.
Sorry.
I got tired of eavesdropping.
Hello.
Yeah.
Claire's looking for a place to stay.
Huh.
Okay, well, we should discuss this, uh, roommate-style.
Why are you moving your head? She's looking right at you.
You You want me to come over there? - Yes.
- Just say, "Come over here.
" - Come over here.
- All right.
- Please come over here.
- Excuse us.
You should let her crash here.
What? Seriously.
Are you out of your fucking mind? No, no, no.
Think about it.
Show that you can be a good guy, you'll win some points with Allison.
- You think? - Yeah, big points.
All right, all right, fine.
But it's just for a couple of days.
Okay? And we're gonna set some ground rules.
Agreed.
All right, let me handle it.
I'll talk to her.
I already heard everything.
Where should I put my stuff? Yeah, no, no, no, no.
This is not a free ride.
Okay? You stay clean for 72 hours, the sofa's yours.
But you got to stay sober or you got to go-ber.
- I just came up with that.
- No, you didn't.
- I swear to God.
- Don't lie.
How about like, um, 12 hours? [SCOFFS.]
No.
12 hours gets you one tall kitchen trash bag for your stuff.
Okay.
24 hours.
Ben, can you drive, uh, Claire to the shelter, please? Let me find the keys to my automobile.
36 hours! Sold to the teenage, drug-addicted loser.
Deal.
Mm, eh.
Mm.
Yeah.
All right, 36 hours.
It's 4:05.
We are starting right Okay, wait! Wait! Starting now.
Yeah, this is gonna go great.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Hey.
What do I do? You listen.
You share.
Or none of the above.
The important thing is that you're here, okay? I'm gonna go talk to the father.
I'll be right back, but you're gonna be fine.
It gets a little intense in here sometimes, but I think you'll find there's a lot of love and respect in this room.
Hey, Loudermilk.
You hitting that? No.
Are you kidding me? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, hey.
I wouldn't sit there if I was you.
Suck my ass, Booker T.
[GROUP MURMURS.]
Sit somewhere else.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Out the window! - Alrighty.
- Uh-oh.
Ooh.
Oh.
- There you go.
You know, they they did tell you to move, twice.
Hey.
Why'd you give that slob my address? Well, she asked.
If she asked for half that sandwich, would you give it to her? Of course.
"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry" and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, "and your night will become like the noonday.
" It's Jethro Tull, but I don't know the cut.
That's Isaiah 58:10.
Ah.
I skipped lunch.
Can I have half the sandwich? Fuck off.
Whoa.
You do realize I had nothing to do with that "Spotlight" movie, right? [LAUGHS.]
I'm just trying to speak in terms that you will understand.
So, listen.
Claire was in pretty rough shape when we talked, so what are her chances? Uh, same as anybody else at this phase.
Probably 70/30 she relapses, maybe 80/20.
But Iggy Pop lived through the '70s, so I don't know.
Anything could happen.
Where's she staying tonight? Uh, she's on my couch.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
What happens when you go to work? She'll be fine.
Ben's got an eye on her.
[CELLPHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
- Ah.
- BEN: Hello? Ocupado! Sorry! Thought you were at a meeting.
Uh, yeah, I was, but I got to use the bathroom.
Just a second.
Okay.
[LAUGHS.]
No fucking way.
Hmm.
There's a picture of Loudermilk's ex-wife in this book.
She was pretty.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY.]
- Sorry about that.
Yeah, no worries, man.
It's your place.
- Yeah.
Hmm? - No, I'm good, thanks.
[KEYS CLACK.]
Anyone home? BEN: Yeah, I'm in my room! Couch! What's this doing out? Oh, I was reading it on the toilet.
[SIGHS.]
[KEYS THUD.]
Oh, get over yourself, Loudermilk.
Women shit.
A lot.
Is that code for, "I got to call a plumber"? You know what? I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air.
Said everybody who lives in the building.
Don't get fucked up! [SIGHS.]
[TOILET RUNNING.]
She actually broke the damn thing.
[SIGHS.]
Motherfucker.
Look what I found behind the toilet.
I don't know what to say.
No? I'm sorry, Sam.
Sorry doesn't cut it, man.
You were supposed to watch her.
[SIGHS.]
I know.
That's why I'm saying I'm sorry.
Fuck, I mean, you don't have to bite my head off.
Well, it's a good thing I found it before she had a chance to drink it.
Geez.
Unbelievable, right? I mean, it's a great way to keep it chilled while you're hiding it, but, you know, I Obviously, she's got to go.
I mean, it's like baseball.
One strike, and you're out.
You mean three? I don't really follow sports.
But you're right.
You're right.
She does deserve another at bat, right, you know? - No! - No? It's the principle of the thing.
We had a deal, she broke it, she lied to us.
Yeah.
Well, then, yeah, there you go.
That's She's got expensive tastes, though.
- It's a nice bottle.
- Of course she does.
Family's loaded.
She's been spoiled her whole life, which is why I think we got to We got to teach her a lesson.
Okay.
I got an idea.
How about we don't say anything to her? Why? [BOTTLE THUDS.]
To fuck with her head.
Don't say that we found the bottle to her and then just see what she does.
I'll bet it drives her crazy.
That's some Chris Nolan level head games - you're playing, man.
- [LAUGHS.]
All right.
All right.
You know what else we do? How do you feel about taking a drive to the country? Ah! [LAUGHS.]
Okay.
I'll go get my keys.
No.
Tomorrow.
Not now.
Ah, good.
I'm exhausted.
Uh, excuse me.
Do you have change for a $5? Uh, yeah, I think so.
So, are you and Loudermilk fucking? Let's see.
I've got four 1's, 3, 4 'Cause you're pretty.
Like herpes medicine commercial pretty.
Thanks.
- I bet he'd totally do you.
- Got some quarters.
Seems like he'd kind of be into some weird shit, though.
Like probably want to cram it into your You know what? Just take the money.
You can pay me back later.
Okay.
Cool.
Hey, I didn't mean any like, bad shit.
I just meant like, butt stuff! ALLISON: Yeah! I got it! Where are we going? We're gonna try something different today.
You ever hear of a vision quest? No.
Native American ritual.
Like a lot of Native American things the white man stole, we we bastardized it, we forgot the original intent.
But it still works pretty good.
I don't I don't know.
Ben introduced me to it back when I was trying to get sober, and look at me.
All right? So this is gonna turn me into an asshole? [VEHICLE APPROACHES.]
Hey.
[ENGINE REVS.]
Let's take a nice drive in the country so you can forget about booze and drugs for awhile.
68 bottles of beer on the wall, 68 bottles of beer Take one down, pass it around 67 bottles of beer on the wall - How much farther?! - 67 bottles of Like? The word you're looking for is "further.
" Further.
Who gives a fuck? We're almost there.
Listen, guys, do you really think that getting out into nature and shit is gonna help me? Absolutely.
Okay, it's like the movie, "Revenant," right? Leo, he gets out into nature, and he goes through a lot.
But by the end of it - That's a bad example.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
"Rocky," right? The third one.
You're Rocky, and and Mr.
T is a drug that you have to fight.
Yeah, like tetracycline.
- What? - No.
That's That's a good drug.
Is that a good? Oh, okay.
Uh, Tylenol.
When people are getting strung out on Tylenol.
- That's also - That's a good one? What's the What's that stuff? Tiramisu.
Is that a drug? That's a cake.
That's a dessert.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
Tamiflu? Tamiflu.
Guys, why, why the fuck do I have to go do this? Why do I have to go do this? That's what you're gonna learn on the vision quest.
When I wake up in the morning, love And the sunlight hurts my eyes And something without warning, love Bears heavy on my mind Then I look at you And the world's all right with me All right.
Come on.
Dude.
Dude, it's pouring rain.
No, no, it's all part of it.
It's perfect.
- What? - Mmm.
Come on.
It's a very special place.
The Native Americans discovered an energy nexus here.
Focuses right into Right into these woods.
How you feeling? Nervous.
Yeah? You don't have anything to worry about.
Just take a minute.
All right, just want you to center yourself.
[ENGINE IDLING.]
Close your eyes.
It's real.
Not like drugs, not like alcohol.
It's real.
Now take a deep breath.
I want you feel your mind get clearer - with every inhale - [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
and every exhale.
- Breathe in.
- [INHALES DEEPLY.]
- Breathe out.
- [SIGHS.]
Good.
Smell the trees.
Smell the air.
Mmm.
Smell you later, sucker! Huh? Lovely day, lovely day - [ENGINE REVS.]
- Hey! Punch it! Don't leave me out here, you son of a bitch! Hey! Fuck you! Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day It's so adorable when they run after the car like that.
You hungry? Nah, but I could eat.
All right.
You remember when you dropped me off like that? - [LAUGHS.]
- Totally.
You almost grabbed onto my bumper.
- Yeah.
- You're faster than you look.
It was the last time I ever did that.
Last time you drank? No.
Running.
Hmm.
What's going on with you and Allison? What do you mean? No.
There's nothing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought the the book was a nice gesture.
Yeah, you're the one who gave it to her.
Yes, and I thought it was a nice gesture.
You think giving an attractive woman a picture of a bloated me with '90s hair is doing me any favors? I do, actually.
I think I think it shows your vulnerability and that you're okay with being silly.
But that's not me at all.
That's you.
I just think you should make a run at her, man.
- She's into you.
- She's not.
Why are you trying to push me on her? Want me to move out? Look, I'm just saying that enough time has passed between you and I just think a relationship would be good for you right now, with someone besides me, that is.
Look, sometimes, you need someone else to help you to do things on your own.
No, you don't.
Okay.
[MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY ON STEREO.]
What do you think Claire's doing right now? Who gives a fuck? [BOTH LAUGH.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING, OWL HOOTING.]
CLAIRE: Oh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Oh, my God! Thank God! Thanks for stopping.
What are you doing out here? I'm lost.
Can I get a ride? Yeah.
Get in the back.
Uh Can I sit up front with you? In the back.
[HORN HONKS.]
[PIGS GRUNTING, SQUEALING.]
[SIGHS.]
[ICE CLINKS.]
- [EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
- [GASPS.]
How was your vision quest? [SCREAMS.]
All right, all right.
Okay! All right, all right! What the fuck, you asshole?! - Deep breath! - You piece of shit! Hey, hey, come on! Left me to fucking die out there! Don't be a drama queen, huh? - It's not even bear season.
- [SCREAMS.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
What the fuck is going on here?! You're guilty, too! Me?! It was his idea! Listen, if that is your fucking idea of helping someone, then you're you're fucking psychotic, okay?! I'd be better off on the street, you pieces of shit! I'm leaving! Fuck you both! Fuck you! You're leaving now? What time is it? I don't Who gives a shit?! It's 4:55 A.
M.
So?! So when did you have your last drink? I don't fucking know, and I fucking I How long's it been? 30 36 hours? Ah.
Oh.
You made it.
Yeah.
But But you took me into the fucking woods and you left me there, so it doesn't really That doesn't matter.
It's like I say Sometimes you need someone else to help you do things on your own.
I haven't I haven't I haven't been that sober in like a y a year, and Well, you are fucked up.
Yeah, but in 12 more hours, you'll have two days.
Pretty soon, two days turns into a week.
And please clean up this fucking glass.
Goodnight.
Really proud of you, Claire.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Mostly for breaking that coffee pot.
I've been trying to get rid of that fucking thing since the Sochi Olympics.
BEN: You were doing it wrong! Okay.
BEN: Hey.
You think we should tell her that the couch folds into a bed? No.
We'd have to move the coffee table.
Mm.
Where you going? Oh, I'm gonna give Allison a copy of my book.
I signed it for her.
Oh, you should write a little something extra.
You know, make it special.
My autograph's special enough.
[SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi.
Uh, is Allison here? Uh, sorry.
No solicitors.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm Loudermilk from next door.
Oh.
Ally, it's Louder Uh Milk.
Some guy who says he's your neighbor.
ALLISON: Yeah, I'll be there in a sec! Frittata's burning! Yeah, she said she'd like one of my books, so I just, you know, brought her a copy.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Uh, who are you again? I'm Carl, Allison's boyfriend.
Oh.
How come I haven't seen you around? I'm an emergency room doctor over at Presbyterian, so long hours.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Okay.
Let me see that for a second.
[LP'S "LOST ON YOU" PLAYS.]
Uh, okay.
Enjoy your frittata.
When you get older, plainer, saner When you remember all the danger we came from Burning like embers, falling, tender Long before the days of no surrender years ago And will you know So smoke 'em if you got 'em 'Cause it's going down All I ever wanted was you I'll never get to heaven 'Cause I don't know how
Right now, she's having trouble with her daughter.
I have a feeling that your brand of help may be exactly what she needs.
That's my number.
You want help, call it.
If not, exactly zero shits will be given by me.
I'm Allison.
I just moved into 2C.
Sam, 2B or not 2B.
Well, I guess it's not to be.
As your sponsor and your only friend, you really make it hard for people to like you.
Dude, get away from my girlfriend! Why don't you assholes get out of my way or we're gonna do this the hard way? What the hell were you doing in a bar? You're a drunk, I'm a drunk.
Guys like us can't do that.
Is Sam around or? Okay.
Thanks for coming by.
I'll let him know.
- [HORN HONKS.]
- Excuse me! How far is it to Mount Baker? Mount Baker.
Uh as the crow flies, about 12 miles.
Really? What if I'm an East Asian chinchilla monkey running as fast as I can? How far is it then? Or how far is it as the beaver swims? Let's say I'm a beaver swimming upstream with my family, and one of my beaver kids snaps a flipper.
How far is it gonna be then? Or I'm a three-legged cat, right, he's a blind squirrel.
We're handcuffed together, and we just got to make our way across.
Is that more than 12 miles now or little bit less? 'Cause I got a Cocker Spaniel who walks backwards spitting nickels, okay, likes to tack back and forth against the wind.
What's his ETA roughly? Or maybe I'll just saddle up a zoogeographer like yourself and ride your ass all the way to Mount Baker.
How far is it then?! Huh?! [FRANZ FERDINAND'S "STAND ON THE HORIZON" PLAYS.]
Come on.
I just need to get my fix.
Come on! What the fuck are you doing to the coffee machine? Your coffee maker sucks, man! My coffee maker sucks? Yeah, I can make meth faster than that.
I think I have.
You know what? You're always doing it wrong.
You got to do to it right.
You keep doing it wrong.
- I'm doing it wrong? - Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
I'm not doing it wrong, I'm doing it It makes a delicious brew! - [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Why don't you do it then?! Okay?! Oh, fine! You know what? You get the door, and I'll show you how to do the coffee right.
- Keeps doing it wrong, this guy.
- Do it.
Well, just do it.
It's not plugged in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Guess what I've been doing.
No.
I don't play that shit.
Just tell me what you've been doing.
I read your book.
Oh.
Where did you get that? Ben lent it to me.
It's actually pretty good.
Um, thanks.
Uh, I'm making some crappy coffee.
Would you like a cup? Yeah.
I do have one serious question, though.
Shoot.
They did tell you they were taking your picture that day, right? - There it is.
- [LAUGHS.]
You look like a stupid idiot.
Look at you.
[IMITATING EDDIE VEDDER.]
Loudermilk is Chris Cornell Hanging on to the '90s All right, you know what? I-I remember seeing you in the '90s, okay? You had the high fade and the Hammer pants.
Yep, every day for a year.
- Yeah.
- I was "Too Legit to Quit.
" Now you're too big to fail.
Oh, is that a fat joke, or was that based on the The bank crash? It doesn't even make sense.
This guy calls himself a writer.
[SIGHS.]
So how did you dress back then? Actually, I think I dressed the way I dress now.
Wow.
Rebel.
So you're a writer.
I was.
Not anymore.
Yeah, Loudermilk used to work for Spin, Rolling Stone long time ago.
Billy big-time, this guy.
Big, big, big deal back in the day, this guy right here.
Yeah.
Yeah, the books, you can still find them, but I have another gig.
I, uh, I work in In in banking.
Oh, yeah? So what do you do? Uh, I go in, I clean up their messes.
Yeah.
It allows me to live like a king, with a roommate and an apartment.
Shitty coffee maker.
You're doing it wrong! Well, why don't you write anymore? I mean, this is really good.
It's kind of complicated.
See, my thing was that I would go on tour with the bands and then write about all the depravities.
But that's That's just too hard to do when you're sober.
Are you kidding me? A sober guy on the road with a bunch of fucked-up rockstars would be a great book A totally different perspective.
Yeah, until I fall off the wagon on page 4.
[SIGHS.]
Well, why don't you go on the road with a sober band? Well, then I'd fall off the wagon on page 2.
That's the last thing that I need to see is a bunch of rockstars drinking milk and starting shows on time.
Having sex with their wives.
Disgusting.
Well, if I got a copy of your book, would you at least sign it for me? Yeah, I'll think about it.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
It's lively here today.
[SIGHS.]
Wow.
It's an actual bag lady.
What, uh, brings you here to darken my doorstep? Um you got a minute? I'm actually kind of in the middle of something right now.
Can you come back in a half an hour maybe and No, no.
No, no, no, no.
I-I should I should get going.
No, finish the [SIGHS.]
I'll see you later.
LOUDERMILK: All right, good to G All right.
Come on, come on.
Come on.
[SNIFFS.]
You got anything resembling coffee? That's exactly what I have.
That's 'cause you're doing it wrong.
I'll be in my room.
Thanks.
CLAIRE: I got dumped.
And I lost my job again.
And I've been getting black-out drunk every night.
And when I woke up for the fifth day in a row with my head in the toilet, I, um I immediately thought of you.
Well, you suck at compliments.
Um, how'd you find me? Father Mike gave me your address.
Oh.
Well, I owe him one.
My mom's a bitch, and she won't let me come over and stay there until I've cleaned up, so Well, yeah, I mean, you smell like a spicy sausage fart.
No, I mean, like cleaned up cleaned up.
Like, um, you know, everything.
Mm-hmm.
So why are you here? Because I'm serious about getting better.
Okay.
Good.
But I need help.
I can offer you help.
And a place to stay.
[LAUGHS.]
That ain't happening.
No, look.
Please.
I mean, I'll be I'll be really quiet.
You won't even know I'm here.
No.
I don't understand.
Why can't you just find a park bench or an abandoned railway car? I'll get you some toilet paper.
You know what? Fuck you, okay? I shouldn't have even come here.
I can't believe I came here.
- Okay.
Hey, come on.
- I'm such a fucking idiot.
Come All right.
All right, settle.
Relax.
Sit down.
[SIGHS.]
When's the last time you slept? I-I don't know.
Hey.
Sorry.
I got tired of eavesdropping.
Hello.
Yeah.
Claire's looking for a place to stay.
Huh.
Okay, well, we should discuss this, uh, roommate-style.
Why are you moving your head? She's looking right at you.
You You want me to come over there? - Yes.
- Just say, "Come over here.
" - Come over here.
- All right.
- Please come over here.
- Excuse us.
You should let her crash here.
What? Seriously.
Are you out of your fucking mind? No, no, no.
Think about it.
Show that you can be a good guy, you'll win some points with Allison.
- You think? - Yeah, big points.
All right, all right, fine.
But it's just for a couple of days.
Okay? And we're gonna set some ground rules.
Agreed.
All right, let me handle it.
I'll talk to her.
I already heard everything.
Where should I put my stuff? Yeah, no, no, no, no.
This is not a free ride.
Okay? You stay clean for 72 hours, the sofa's yours.
But you got to stay sober or you got to go-ber.
- I just came up with that.
- No, you didn't.
- I swear to God.
- Don't lie.
How about like, um, 12 hours? [SCOFFS.]
No.
12 hours gets you one tall kitchen trash bag for your stuff.
Okay.
24 hours.
Ben, can you drive, uh, Claire to the shelter, please? Let me find the keys to my automobile.
36 hours! Sold to the teenage, drug-addicted loser.
Deal.
Mm, eh.
Mm.
Yeah.
All right, 36 hours.
It's 4:05.
We are starting right Okay, wait! Wait! Starting now.
Yeah, this is gonna go great.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Hey.
What do I do? You listen.
You share.
Or none of the above.
The important thing is that you're here, okay? I'm gonna go talk to the father.
I'll be right back, but you're gonna be fine.
It gets a little intense in here sometimes, but I think you'll find there's a lot of love and respect in this room.
Hey, Loudermilk.
You hitting that? No.
Are you kidding me? [LAUGHS.]
Oh, hey.
I wouldn't sit there if I was you.
Suck my ass, Booker T.
[GROUP MURMURS.]
Sit somewhere else.
[LAUGHTER.]
- Out the window! - Alrighty.
- Uh-oh.
Ooh.
Oh.
- There you go.
You know, they they did tell you to move, twice.
Hey.
Why'd you give that slob my address? Well, she asked.
If she asked for half that sandwich, would you give it to her? Of course.
"If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry" and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, "and your night will become like the noonday.
" It's Jethro Tull, but I don't know the cut.
That's Isaiah 58:10.
Ah.
I skipped lunch.
Can I have half the sandwich? Fuck off.
Whoa.
You do realize I had nothing to do with that "Spotlight" movie, right? [LAUGHS.]
I'm just trying to speak in terms that you will understand.
So, listen.
Claire was in pretty rough shape when we talked, so what are her chances? Uh, same as anybody else at this phase.
Probably 70/30 she relapses, maybe 80/20.
But Iggy Pop lived through the '70s, so I don't know.
Anything could happen.
Where's she staying tonight? Uh, she's on my couch.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
What happens when you go to work? She'll be fine.
Ben's got an eye on her.
[CELLPHONE KEYBOARD CLICKING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
- Ah.
- BEN: Hello? Ocupado! Sorry! Thought you were at a meeting.
Uh, yeah, I was, but I got to use the bathroom.
Just a second.
Okay.
[LAUGHS.]
No fucking way.
Hmm.
There's a picture of Loudermilk's ex-wife in this book.
She was pretty.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY.]
- Sorry about that.
Yeah, no worries, man.
It's your place.
- Yeah.
Hmm? - No, I'm good, thanks.
[KEYS CLACK.]
Anyone home? BEN: Yeah, I'm in my room! Couch! What's this doing out? Oh, I was reading it on the toilet.
[SIGHS.]
[KEYS THUD.]
Oh, get over yourself, Loudermilk.
Women shit.
A lot.
Is that code for, "I got to call a plumber"? You know what? I'm gonna go out and get some fresh air.
Said everybody who lives in the building.
Don't get fucked up! [SIGHS.]
[TOILET RUNNING.]
She actually broke the damn thing.
[SIGHS.]
Motherfucker.
Look what I found behind the toilet.
I don't know what to say.
No? I'm sorry, Sam.
Sorry doesn't cut it, man.
You were supposed to watch her.
[SIGHS.]
I know.
That's why I'm saying I'm sorry.
Fuck, I mean, you don't have to bite my head off.
Well, it's a good thing I found it before she had a chance to drink it.
Geez.
Unbelievable, right? I mean, it's a great way to keep it chilled while you're hiding it, but, you know, I Obviously, she's got to go.
I mean, it's like baseball.
One strike, and you're out.
You mean three? I don't really follow sports.
But you're right.
You're right.
She does deserve another at bat, right, you know? - No! - No? It's the principle of the thing.
We had a deal, she broke it, she lied to us.
Yeah.
Well, then, yeah, there you go.
That's She's got expensive tastes, though.
- It's a nice bottle.
- Of course she does.
Family's loaded.
She's been spoiled her whole life, which is why I think we got to We got to teach her a lesson.
Okay.
I got an idea.
How about we don't say anything to her? Why? [BOTTLE THUDS.]
To fuck with her head.
Don't say that we found the bottle to her and then just see what she does.
I'll bet it drives her crazy.
That's some Chris Nolan level head games - you're playing, man.
- [LAUGHS.]
All right.
All right.
You know what else we do? How do you feel about taking a drive to the country? Ah! [LAUGHS.]
Okay.
I'll go get my keys.
No.
Tomorrow.
Not now.
Ah, good.
I'm exhausted.
Uh, excuse me.
Do you have change for a $5? Uh, yeah, I think so.
So, are you and Loudermilk fucking? Let's see.
I've got four 1's, 3, 4 'Cause you're pretty.
Like herpes medicine commercial pretty.
Thanks.
- I bet he'd totally do you.
- Got some quarters.
Seems like he'd kind of be into some weird shit, though.
Like probably want to cram it into your You know what? Just take the money.
You can pay me back later.
Okay.
Cool.
Hey, I didn't mean any like, bad shit.
I just meant like, butt stuff! ALLISON: Yeah! I got it! Where are we going? We're gonna try something different today.
You ever hear of a vision quest? No.
Native American ritual.
Like a lot of Native American things the white man stole, we we bastardized it, we forgot the original intent.
But it still works pretty good.
I don't I don't know.
Ben introduced me to it back when I was trying to get sober, and look at me.
All right? So this is gonna turn me into an asshole? [VEHICLE APPROACHES.]
Hey.
[ENGINE REVS.]
Let's take a nice drive in the country so you can forget about booze and drugs for awhile.
68 bottles of beer on the wall, 68 bottles of beer Take one down, pass it around 67 bottles of beer on the wall - How much farther?! - 67 bottles of Like? The word you're looking for is "further.
" Further.
Who gives a fuck? We're almost there.
Listen, guys, do you really think that getting out into nature and shit is gonna help me? Absolutely.
Okay, it's like the movie, "Revenant," right? Leo, he gets out into nature, and he goes through a lot.
But by the end of it - That's a bad example.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
"Rocky," right? The third one.
You're Rocky, and and Mr.
T is a drug that you have to fight.
Yeah, like tetracycline.
- What? - No.
That's That's a good drug.
Is that a good? Oh, okay.
Uh, Tylenol.
When people are getting strung out on Tylenol.
- That's also - That's a good one? What's the What's that stuff? Tiramisu.
Is that a drug? That's a cake.
That's a dessert.
I don't know what I'm talking about.
Tamiflu? Tamiflu.
Guys, why, why the fuck do I have to go do this? Why do I have to go do this? That's what you're gonna learn on the vision quest.
When I wake up in the morning, love And the sunlight hurts my eyes And something without warning, love Bears heavy on my mind Then I look at you And the world's all right with me All right.
Come on.
Dude.
Dude, it's pouring rain.
No, no, it's all part of it.
It's perfect.
- What? - Mmm.
Come on.
It's a very special place.
The Native Americans discovered an energy nexus here.
Focuses right into Right into these woods.
How you feeling? Nervous.
Yeah? You don't have anything to worry about.
Just take a minute.
All right, just want you to center yourself.
[ENGINE IDLING.]
Close your eyes.
It's real.
Not like drugs, not like alcohol.
It's real.
Now take a deep breath.
I want you feel your mind get clearer - with every inhale - [BREATHES DEEPLY.]
and every exhale.
- Breathe in.
- [INHALES DEEPLY.]
- Breathe out.
- [SIGHS.]
Good.
Smell the trees.
Smell the air.
Mmm.
Smell you later, sucker! Huh? Lovely day, lovely day - [ENGINE REVS.]
- Hey! Punch it! Don't leave me out here, you son of a bitch! Hey! Fuck you! Lovely day, lovely day, lovely day It's so adorable when they run after the car like that.
You hungry? Nah, but I could eat.
All right.
You remember when you dropped me off like that? - [LAUGHS.]
- Totally.
You almost grabbed onto my bumper.
- Yeah.
- You're faster than you look.
It was the last time I ever did that.
Last time you drank? No.
Running.
Hmm.
What's going on with you and Allison? What do you mean? No.
There's nothing.
Well, I don't know.
I thought the the book was a nice gesture.
Yeah, you're the one who gave it to her.
Yes, and I thought it was a nice gesture.
You think giving an attractive woman a picture of a bloated me with '90s hair is doing me any favors? I do, actually.
I think I think it shows your vulnerability and that you're okay with being silly.
But that's not me at all.
That's you.
I just think you should make a run at her, man.
- She's into you.
- She's not.
Why are you trying to push me on her? Want me to move out? Look, I'm just saying that enough time has passed between you and I just think a relationship would be good for you right now, with someone besides me, that is.
Look, sometimes, you need someone else to help you to do things on your own.
No, you don't.
Okay.
[MUSIC PLAYS INDISTINCTLY ON STEREO.]
What do you think Claire's doing right now? Who gives a fuck? [BOTH LAUGH.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING, OWL HOOTING.]
CLAIRE: Oh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Oh, my God! Thank God! Thanks for stopping.
What are you doing out here? I'm lost.
Can I get a ride? Yeah.
Get in the back.
Uh Can I sit up front with you? In the back.
[HORN HONKS.]
[PIGS GRUNTING, SQUEALING.]
[SIGHS.]
[ICE CLINKS.]
- [EERIE MUSIC PLAYS.]
- [GASPS.]
How was your vision quest? [SCREAMS.]
All right, all right.
Okay! All right, all right! What the fuck, you asshole?! - Deep breath! - You piece of shit! Hey, hey, come on! Left me to fucking die out there! Don't be a drama queen, huh? - It's not even bear season.
- [SCREAMS.]
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
What the fuck is going on here?! You're guilty, too! Me?! It was his idea! Listen, if that is your fucking idea of helping someone, then you're you're fucking psychotic, okay?! I'd be better off on the street, you pieces of shit! I'm leaving! Fuck you both! Fuck you! You're leaving now? What time is it? I don't Who gives a shit?! It's 4:55 A.
M.
So?! So when did you have your last drink? I don't fucking know, and I fucking I How long's it been? 30 36 hours? Ah.
Oh.
You made it.
Yeah.
But But you took me into the fucking woods and you left me there, so it doesn't really That doesn't matter.
It's like I say Sometimes you need someone else to help you do things on your own.
I haven't I haven't I haven't been that sober in like a y a year, and Well, you are fucked up.
Yeah, but in 12 more hours, you'll have two days.
Pretty soon, two days turns into a week.
And please clean up this fucking glass.
Goodnight.
Really proud of you, Claire.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Mostly for breaking that coffee pot.
I've been trying to get rid of that fucking thing since the Sochi Olympics.
BEN: You were doing it wrong! Okay.
BEN: Hey.
You think we should tell her that the couch folds into a bed? No.
We'd have to move the coffee table.
Mm.
Where you going? Oh, I'm gonna give Allison a copy of my book.
I signed it for her.
Oh, you should write a little something extra.
You know, make it special.
My autograph's special enough.
[SIGHS.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Hi.
Uh, is Allison here? Uh, sorry.
No solicitors.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm Loudermilk from next door.
Oh.
Ally, it's Louder Uh Milk.
Some guy who says he's your neighbor.
ALLISON: Yeah, I'll be there in a sec! Frittata's burning! Yeah, she said she'd like one of my books, so I just, you know, brought her a copy.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
Uh, who are you again? I'm Carl, Allison's boyfriend.
Oh.
How come I haven't seen you around? I'm an emergency room doctor over at Presbyterian, so long hours.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Okay.
Let me see that for a second.
[LP'S "LOST ON YOU" PLAYS.]
Uh, okay.
Enjoy your frittata.
When you get older, plainer, saner When you remember all the danger we came from Burning like embers, falling, tender Long before the days of no surrender years ago And will you know So smoke 'em if you got 'em 'Cause it's going down All I ever wanted was you I'll never get to heaven 'Cause I don't know how