Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends (1998) s03e05 Episode Script

1 "Did you come? I like you being on top.
" Why have you highlighted "I like the rear-entry position"? Bangkok.
Capital of Thailand.
Love capital of the world.
Hundreds of thousands of Western men travel here each year in search of the Eastern promise of a Thai woman.
My mission - to find out why.
My first port of call - one of Bangkok's largest marriage agencies, Anglo-Thai Introductions.
My contact - Ronnie Conrad.
There seems to be quite a few young women just sort of sitting around.
What is going on here? It's quite odd, isn't it? It's their day off and they've come to enrol and To enrol? Really? Yeah, some come to enrol and some come to meet It is like a clubhouse here.
I mean, they come in and say hello and - Say hello to Ronnie.
- Sometimes, yes.
This lady is actually enrolling right now.
- My name Kookai.
- Kookai.
- And you work here, Kookai? - Yeah.
- How do you do? Louis.
- Hi.
Good.
- What's your name? - It's Ann.
- Ann.
And how old are you? - 19.
- 19.
- 19.
Well, funnily enough, under 20 they're harder to place.
They they want a wife, not a daughter.
0r a granddaughter.
Well, no, I don't think so.
(Laughs) - What about 16? - No, we wouldn't take a lady at 16.
- What about 14? (Laughs) - Absolutely not.
(Laughs) So, would you like to meet a nice English man? - Yes.
- Why? Because a Thai Thai man is not interesting for me.
- Not interesting.
- English number one.
It's a mystery, isn't it, really? Because we're not that great, are we? I mean, let's be honest.
Even if we're not that great, in comparison to the Thai man we're saints.
I'll take your word for it.
I never thought of myself as a valuable commodity.
- Would I be possible client material? - Absolutely.
If we had your photo and your details here and if we showed it to the ladies, you'd be surprised how many would want to meet you.
And what if I said, you know, "I want ten"? I'd say, "Bye-bye.
" What if I said, "I liked that one so much I want another one"? It depends what happened whether I'd allow you to use the service.
(Louis) What's happening? We're just gonna do a video of this young lady.
It's a bit like a hostage videotape, in a funny way.
- D'you know what I mean, Ronnie? - Not exactly sure, no.
"I am not being mistreated.
" 0h, yes.
Yes, yes.
No, no, I (Laughs) No, it's not quite like that.
Do you find, like, Thai women attractive as a race? (Ronnie) Absolutely.
Yes.
- Slim.
Dark hair.
- And they stay slim.
Yes.
- Skin.
- Beautiful.
0live tan and smooth as silk.
- Smooth as silk.
- Mm.
- Naturally hairless.
- I beg your pardon? - Their arms and - 0h.
Very slight hair, I think.
Yes.
So what's happening now? It's the changing the name tag? Yes.
And the serial number, the membership number.
- Who's that? - That's the last one on Pang 1414.
- But there was a 1415, wasn't there? - Ah, yes.
But I hate to say it, we run an A video and a B video.
Really? What is the difference between the A team and the B team? Erm the A is the ones I would consider to be more attractive.
- So who gets the B film, then? - It's available here, in the office.
As soon as a guy comes here, he can see everybody, right through.
- Right.
Who's on the C video? - There isn't one.
No.
We don't have one.
Tan wants to find a nice, Western man.
Is that right, Tan? - Yes.
- Why? Because friendly and kindness.
- Friendly and kind.
- Absolutely.
It makes you feel good, but at the same time, you're aware that maybe it's not true.
I think, in comparison to the Thai man, you've got to try and remember what happens here in Thailand.
- That's right.
- Friendly and kind You've got to see that.
Thai men are awful.
You've got to keep "Thai men are awful.
" Well, they may not actually be awful men, but they don't treat them nicely.
- They can't help it, it's cultural.
- Absolutely right.
It's ingrained.
(Woman over strings) Boy, here comes that man again.
(Louis) With more than 1400 Thai women on his books, Ronnie's always short of male clients to pair them with.
I offered to help drum up some business by taking to the streets.
Hello.
Excuse me Hello, stranger, you're a danger - To the law and order here - Hello, sir.
Hello, sir.
- They don't like men like you - Thank you very much.
In our city Why do you regard the Thai women as so preferable over the Western women? Because they still believe in looking after the man and they're brought up to look after the man.
0K, what about this thing in your brochure, right? "Thai ladies have all qualities that have been forgotten and lost "by the equality-crazed, Women's Lib Western woman.
" Do you think women should cook and clean and all that stuff? - No, I don't believe that at all.
- They shouldn't.
No, I don't believe that, but for my personal life I like a lady who's gonna fit round my business life because I work a lot.
But you do think they're equality-crazed.
That's established.
- Now, moving on - Well, some.
Number eight.
"When it comes to making love, "for Thai women there is no such thing as 'I've got a headache'.
" It's basically just saying that the Thai lady is - not so independent, that's all.
- Yeah.
- She's more likely to go with the flow.
- 0h, come on, Ronnie.
- She's more likely to go with the flow.
- 0K.
Is that code? It just means that the Thai lady goes along more with what the man is after, that's all.
That's just how it is.
Nothing more sinister than that.
- Did I say there was anything sinister? - No.
Exactly.
Do you think Western women get too many headaches? I've no idea.
I'm not with a Western woman.
- Are you with a Thai woman? - I am with a Thai woman, yes.
And no, she doesn't get headaches.
Even when she's got a headache.
I slightly wish you hadn't said that.
- Why is that? - I don't know.
That night, Ronnie invited me to his hotel to Join him and his wife to celebrate her birthday.
Ronnie had met her through a marriage agency only two years before.
I was keen to know how an Anglo-Thai marriage develops a few years down the line.
- Hello.
- Ah, Louis.
Good evening.
- How are you? - Look at you.
I feel underdressed.
Well, I'm sorry, I just like to look a bit different in the evening.
And where is your And where is your wife? Er, my young lady is upstairs, on her way down.
- 0n her way down? - Yes.
Cos you haven't told me much about her.
No.
No.
She's a really super young lady that I only met a few days ago.
Unfortunately, my wife that you're now referring to, and I, are parting.
- Right.
- Unfortunately.
She was the Thai So you had a Thai wife who you met through an agency and that was a few years ago, but now that's You're You've We're still good friends.
There's no problem, really, between us.
That's good.
And the good news is you've now got a new wife.
- When - We're not actually married yet.
- Not married yet? - No.
We will be, I think, on the 21st.
- That's just a few days.
- Yes, indeed.
How amazing.
Just purely by accident, I just happened to be in the office when she came in to enrol.
She'd come in because she was interested in meeting a Western husband and you thought, "I'll have that one for myself.
" Well, no, I didn't think that at the time because I hadn't seen her properly or spoken to her, but then I started talking to her and that was it, as far as I was concerned.
Fell in love on the spot.
Took a bit longer with her - about three hours, I think, but 0h, it took a bit longer for her to fall in love with you.
- It took about three hours.
- I think so, yes.
- Hello.
- Hello, sweetie.
- This is Louis.
- Hello.
I'm Louis.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yes.
Me, too.
So I just just told Louis about you, darling.
0h What? - He's very interested to meet you.
- What about me? What about you? I just said what a lovely young lady you are.
(Giggles) And Louis is a little bit surprised that you're 21 today 0h and that I'm 55.
No problem? Can we go out and enjoy ourselves? - 0K.
- Yes? Would you like some more, darling? A little bit more? - Come on.
- Thank you.
- Sure? - Yes, come on.
Mm? How was that? Was that divine? Thank you.
- Ronnie.
- Yes? (They giggle) Where's your spoon? Come on, then.
(Slurps) Mm Very nice.
So, did, erm did Mam make a videotape? To be honest, no, she didn't.
- Because we met - Both together.
- We met in the afternoon, in the office - Mm-hm.
Yes.
and I fell in love with you straightaway - Aha.
and we talked for a while Yes? - Aha.
And when you decided you want to be with me, maybe two or three hours later Yes.
And then we went to talk to your mother, to ask her permission.
Yes.
(Laughs) Cos fortunately, Mam's mother brought her into the office.
- Really? - Yes.
Because she wanted you to have a Western husband? Yes.
So, what was it that took three hours, then? What was that conversation? (Laughs) I think that's a bit private.
(Giggles) I think so.
We were very naughty at round about two and a half hours.
- We were in my office by ourselves.
- Yes.
And erm we actually turned the lights out so nobody could see into the office.
So we got quite close.
Quite quickly.
- And quite romantic.
- (Giggles) I think so.
And all the while, Mam's mother was outside the door.
Absolutely.
While you were getting quite hot and heavy.
I wasn't getting hot and heavy.
We were getting quite close and warm.
But not hot and heavy.
We were getting to know each other better and we just decided and asked her mother's permission and that was it.
So, after three hours it was wedding bells? - Mm-hm.
- (Ronnie chuckles) You've got a lovely smile, sweetheart.
Don't ever lose your lovely smile.
- Quite young.
- Yes.
- I don't mean that as a criticism.
- But quite mature.
- Yes.
- For her age.
You've got to remember, I just got here, Ronnie, so this is all new to me.
And I'm going, "That's really nice.
" And then at the same time I'm thinking, "Does she know what she's getting into?" Yes.
Yes, she's thought about it.
She's decided she wants to be with me.
Yeah.
And you've racked your conscience and you've had doubts, haven't you? No, I haven't had doubts.
No doubts at all.
- Really? - None whatsoever.
And this is wife number - That would be telling.
- Four? Erm, I'd need to count, but I would think so.
You can see why from the outside I'm thinking, like, "0K, prognosis not necessarily good.
" Time will tell.
- You seem very happy together.
- We are.
We've been like that ever since we met.
- All six days of it.
- Absolutely.
(Pianist) How deep is your love? Your love, how deep is your love? I really need to As Ronnie was now onto wife number four, and his third Thai bride, I couldn't help but have my reservations.
Breaking us down When they all should I wondered what would motivate a woman like Mam to marry a 55-year-old guy like Ronnie.
to you and me da da-da la la In spite of myself, I was impressed by Ronnie's pulling power.
The next morning I decided that in order to understand the marriage agency business, I needed to sign up myself.
0K, so I should fill out the form, should I? - How old are you? - Age 30.
And your annual income? Could say a million pounds? Well, I'm very happy for you if that's the case.
Would you check? That looks bad for you if you just accept that unquestioningly.
What we'd normally do is put "sufficient".
I shouldn't bring up any legal problems I may or may not have had? If there's anything that you feel is relevant, that we should know, we would appreciate to be told about that.
Personally, I feel it's not relevant.
- You might disagree.
- I don't know if you don't tell me, do I? It didn't go to trial, let's put it that way.
- I've no idea what you're talking about so - No.
Enough said.
0K.
She's quite an exceptional lady.
She's superb.
I'm slightly surprised you didn't snap her up yourself.
She's actually looking for somebody younger.
So I'm afraid I'm out of it.
I'm too old.
- So you did have a crack at her, then? - Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way.
Kookai, we met when we were in here before.
- It's her day off today.
- So she's on the books, as well.
She seemed nice.
I'll put her down, as well.
Kookai, 916.
- Are we still in the A-list here? - This is all Maybe I should choose a couple of Bs, just to be nice.
I want to see what the Bs look like.
- They do have all the arms and legs? - (Laughs) Yes.
- Why is she a B? - She's 59 kilo.
That's actually about nine kilo too much.
- So the Bs are in a kind of a purgatory.
- Well, I wouldn't put it like that.
( Muzak: Light My Fire) I think I've made a provisional kind of selection.
- It's so hard, isn't it? - It is difficult.
Yes.
Yes.
Well, what I'll do is I'll give that to one of my young ladies who can make some phone calls and see who agrees to meet with you.
- Cheers.
- You're welcome.
You'll hear from us.
0K? In preparation for my dates, I decided to contact another Bangkok marriage agency, Thai Professional Introduction Services.
They hooked me up with one of their newly arrived clients, from Great Yarmouth.
His name Lake Palmer.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Good morning.
- Are you Lake Palmer? - Yes, I am.
- Can I come in? - Course you can.
- I'm Louis.
How do you do? - Lovely.
Not too badly.
Not too badly.
- Can I offer you some refreshment? - I wouldn't mind a coffee or something.
Look at you.
You're looking very good.
And what was it in particular that attracted you to the Thai women? I'm 56 now.
Er, very much alone.
And I think life is passing me by.
If I could find somebody to love and take care of, and I could offer them something in return - a home, a different environment, love, affection, then So, today I understand it's quite an exciting day for you.
You're actually gonna go on some dates with some Thai women? - Your first dates.
Is that right? - That's right, yes.
- Quite exciting.
- Well, a bit apprehensive.
- Look at this.
Shaky-shaky.
- Shaky-shaky.
Why? - Maybe under-confident.
Under-confident.
- Yeah.
I mean, Thai people are supposed to be quite - They're lovely people.
shy.
Very shy, calm you right down.
I need somebody to calm me right down cos I get a bit - I suffer with my nerves.
- Do you? - I get a bit erratic.
- Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
And what is it And what happens when you get erratic? Er, blow off steam.
- What, you don't go ballistic? - No, no.
It all depends on the circumstances.
If somebody upset me, I have a go at 'em.
- Uh-oh.
- You know, I destroy them verbally.
I don't use force.
I don't fight or anything like that.
But don't mess with me.
(Laughs) 0K.
Yes.
I wasn't planning on it.
- No, I didn't mean I didn't mean you.
- 0h, sorry.
- I was saying they don't mess with me.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
- Do you know what you're gonna ask? - 0h, yes.
Yes.
I have a list of questions here.
Erm this this is the questions for the lady.
Questions for the lady.
- Can we open this up? - Yes, of course.
These are questions you've written.
"What are you looking for in a husband?" Because there might be something I forget to ask.
And once she's gone, I can't ask.
"What are you looking for in a husband? "Why do you want a Western gentleman? Why do you not want a Thai husband?" These are good questions.
These are questions I've been asking, myself.
"How quickly would you like or be able to come to the UK? "I'm an ex-serviceman, retired.
I have a home in the UK, a car (paid for).
"I have no money worries so I could take care of you.
" Now, you read out number five.
"I would love and cherish you "and you would be my - number one, wife, number two, friend, "number three, soul mate.
"And I would always be faithful to you for the rest of my life.
" - What is this? - That's a picture of me with a band.
- You are a musician? - No, just a singer.
- A singer.
Really? - Yeah, I do karaoke, as well.
- Do you? - Just for a pastime.
What are you singing in that actual photograph? Are You Lonesome Tonight? Probably.
Cos I'm always lonesome at night.
Really? Does your heart fill with pain? Fill with pain? (Both) Shall I come back again? Tell me, dear Are you lonesome tonight? 0h-oh oh-oh oh-ohh - Here we go.
- Here we go.
In advance of his date, Lake would be getting some tips on courting etiquette from the marriage-agency owner, Lawrence Lynch.
- Nice to see you.
- I'm Louis.
Welcome to Thai Professional Introduction Services.
Thank you.
Thai Professional Introduction Services? Would you like to take a seat? It might be best if we go next door.
- 0K.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next door.
Yeah.
- That's fine.
It's not really appropriate to kiss or hug a lady, not unless you've known her for quite a while.
It may be 0K, but by consent, to hold her hand, that sort of thing.
But certainly, Thais are not into showing extremes of affection in public.
Cos you erm Cos you quite like to touch people, don't you? I do, really, but obviously the etiquette When in Rome, do as the Romans do.
- Can you hold back? - Yes.
Yes, I will hold back.
- I may sort of just go like that - Is that all right? Yes.
If you say to the lady, "Do you mind if I hold your hand?" And she says, "No, that's fine.
" As long as you ask first.
What about, "Do you mind if I run my fingers through your hair?" Er, that wouldn't perhaps be very appropriate.
- Certainly not on a first date or two.
No.
- No.
0K, I'm gonna be keeping a discreet distance, right? But if I see Lake running his hand over the head of the date, or whatever, shall I just run in and, like, pull him away? You might just tap your head and go like that.
Yeah, you take a big stick, bamboo stick 0K, I'll go like - No, I'll be all right.
- You can remember that? What about English stuff? Cos in Britain, we don't pick our noses in public.
0h, now that is an interesting one, actually.
Erm, it may seem a little unusual but in fact, in Thailand, - picking one's nose is not a big thing.
- Really? Yes.
You can see people you know, high-class people, and they're sitting there picking their nose.
- And that's 0K? - That's 0K.
- That's going to be quite nice, isn't it? - Do you want me to pick my nose? - No, I'm not suggesting - It's all right.
- No.
- You were just saying - I don't pick my nose.
- You were saying, "When in Rome" - I don't pick my nose, but when in Rome - 0K, I'll have a good pick.
It's not done to blow your nose like we - I'll have a good pick.
- As long as you don't rub your - Rub it through your hair.
- The hair of the person you're with.
Not recommended.
No.
No.
- Do you think you can handle it? - Yeah.
Yeah.
Anything.
- Lake occasionally gets slightly agitated.
- Mm.
- 0h, he knows that.
- Yeah.
We all know that.
We all get agitated.
We all get agitated.
But I'll tell him if I'm agitated.
I tell him.
- I hear that may be more serious.
- No, but I know him.
Yeah, you know him, but I'm talking about the date.
What I'm trying to say is that you will, I'm sure, when you meet your date, you will find that she makes you she's so feminine and so graceful, so calm - She'll be a calming influence.
- She will calm me right down.
Let's get rid of some of this.
We don't want all this shit in here, do we? - Cos it's gonna happen in here? - I suppose so, yeah.
0K.
How do you think Lake is gonna get on, Lawrence? He's been through a lot in his life.
He's had his post-traumatic stress syndrome that he suffers from and has to take a lot of medication.
It does give him mood swings.
But he's a lovely man.
He at times gets frustrated with things but, I mean, he's a lovely man.
Will you let the young women know that he has this condition? We tell them everything.
0h, yes.
We tell them everything about the man.
We like to match a lady and man who we think are going to be compatible.
I've been on the phone.
Hey.
How are you doing, Lake? - You feeling 0K? - Yeah.
What is it, do you think, that Thai women possess, in your view, erm, that makes them so attractive to Western men? - Well, they're extremely beautiful - (Lake) Femininity.
- Extremely beautiful and very petite.
- They're so regal.
You've got it.
They're so so ema Un - Is it unemancipated or emancipated? - They're very traditional.
English women want to be men.
A woman is a woman.
- And must be treated as such.
- Yeah.
I have a hunch that Western women will be a bit shocked - by some of the things you're saying.
- That's good.
Let them be shocked.
- That may be the case - Probably change their ways a bit.
- You think so? - Yeah.
I think that maybe they should be shocked.
I think the pendulum has maybe swung a little bit too far from the 1950s traditional wife to the situation now where, perhaps, erm the lady is wearing the trousers but still wants to be treated as a lady.
Lake, have you had bad luck with Western women? I've had very bad experiences.
Erm, I find it very hard to trust now.
- I just want to be happy.
- Nothing wrong with that.
I want to love, I want to be loved back.
But er, I find nobody wants me.
If I could find happiness in England, would I be sitting here now? Would I pay the money to come out here? - It's your first date.
- Well, you've calmed me down a lot.
- Have I? I've been trying to wind you up.
- Have you? Bastard.
- You haven't, have you? No.
- No.
No, you're all right.
- Lawrence wound me up.
- Did he? How? - What do you mean? Why? - It's just his attitude sometimes.
Why? - (Laughs) - Well, the way he carries on.
It's just that time now, I'm afraid.
It's time for you to meet your chosen lady.
- Always ask the questions in Thai.
- 0h, I know all that, Lake.
- The interpreter tells me, right? - Yeah, 0K.
- And then the interpreter tells the lady - We know that the things that I am offer Well, listen.
The interpreter tells the lady the things that I'm offering.
- 0K.
- All right? - Try and stay calm.
- I am calm.
No, it was just the way you said, "Listen!" - Well, he don't listen, does he? - Keep it calm.
Keep it calm.
- Are you all right there, Lawrence? - Yes, I'm I can take it.
There you go.
- Lake, this is Sai to meet you.
- Hello.
Hello.
- Very pleased to meet you.
How are you? - Fine, thank you.
- Lovely.
- And how are you? Very well, thank you.
Would you like to sit down? Thank you.
The interpreter will be here in about two minutes.
Yes, 0K.
- Hello.
Pleased to meet you.
- Hello.
Pleased to meet you, too.
Why is she looking for a husband? (Speaks Thai) She has a five-year-old son and she wants a happy family because in the past she hasn't been too happy.
Her family doesn't do too well.
I've been married twice.
Right? Broken heart.
Ladies go off with other men.
When cat's away, the mice will play.
I don't want it to happen again.
She's been hurt with words before.
And she's been Because of the sweet words, she has been having to work to support him and his three wives and kids.
She says that therefore she is sort of still hurt from that - and she knows how it feels to hurt.
- We are both hurt.
Both hurt.
- Is she a good cook? - (Speaks Thai) She knows how to cook because she used to work in a restaurant.
Erm, I would love, love, and cherish I would - 0h, sorry, Lake.
I was going to ask - Yeah, later.
- Yeah, 0K.
- Later.
Right, I would hope sh I That's put me off now.
Now, I have a pleasant, terraced house in Yarmouth, - which is rented, but is permanent.
- Mm.
I live there till I die.
- 0K? Right right near the sea.
- Sea.
- 0K? Near sea.
0K? - Yes.
Now, I've just been thinking Er, three bedrooms, 0K? 0ne for her son, one for the two of us, if she decides to get married and come to UK, and small bedroom small bedroom, box room, could be made into an office.
All I want is a nice home, a family, somebody to take out, a nice wife, er, and somebody to care for me and me to return.
I feel like a flower without any water.
It withers and dies.
I don't want to die without love, you know? I need love and affection.
I crave for love and affection.
If she gives it to me, I will give it back.
Tenfold.
I know it's very quickly to make a decision, but after all that she has heard, do you think she like me? I know it's very quick to make a decision.
She says that she finds that you are a really nice person to be with, but she says it's really hard for her to say at this moment - 0f course.
if she likes you or not.
Would you ask her if she'd mind if I hold her hand in the street? - Say yes or no, it doesn't really matter.
- She minds it.
She minds.
I won't do it.
Tell her I won't 0K.
So far, it seemed to be going quite well, although I did worry that Lake was moving a little too fast.
- Very nice.
All flower, like jungle.
- Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
- 0h, thank you very much.
- 0K? 0K.
So So you have come with Sai as a friend, to make sure everything is 0K? Yes.
Right.
I don't think we have any problems that can't be solved.
- We work together.
We solve all problems.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
No problem.
I'll look after you.
0K? - Thank you very much.
And I I I love you and look after you and take care of you.
Sai doesn't speak too much English.
- No.
Just a little bit.
- Just a little bit.
Yeah.
If you want to see me again and you'd like to bring son, that is 0K.
- Understand? - Yes.
Yeah? Yeah.
- Bye-bye.
- It's been a pleasure.
Thank you.
- You know how to contact me? - Yes.
Through hotel.
0r Mr Lawrence.
- 0r Tapini.
And I'll speak to you soon.
- Yes.
- 0K? Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
God bless.
Thank you.
- 0K.
- Thank you.
You mustn't touch the Thai women, though.
You really mustn't.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Serious.
- They don't mind.
They know - They do.
They know it's not sexual.
- It went pretty well.
- You had a nice time? I think she was a tease.
Do you think she might be the one? Yes.
Yes, she could be.
Could be.
I've got to give the other ladies a chance.
I feel awful maybe seeing the other ladies, but now they're booked I can't really let them down.
It's not very fair, is it? Any downsides? I mean, she wasn't committing, was she? You're raring to go and you're gonna do these other dates.
- She was not committing.
- I don't quite know how she was feeling.
She was very happy.
She was very She was very, sort of, relaxed.
You didn't seem to get too agitated - at any point, did you? - No, no.
I mean, you were I thought you were touching her a bit too much.
I probably forgot.
But she said in there she wouldn't hold my hand, yet she held my hand.
- You kind of pressured her into it.
- No, I didn't.
No, I just asked her.
She said, "0K.
" I didn't have one complaint.
I only touch their arm to get attention, to get their attention.
- Yeah.
- She didn't say, "Get off," did she? Yeah, but would a Thai woman do that? No, they'd just sort of retreat a little bit.
My overwhelming impression was that she was really nice.
I was sorry to see her go.
We waved bye-bye.
She was in the car.
"Bye-bye, bye-bye.
" You know.
So (Lawrence) She came over as a really nice person.
I think if she is the one, then I'll go home on the plane, I'll cry all the way home.
I shall be sorry to go.
- Thoughts? - Thoughts.
Erm I thought the lady was a lovely lady.
Quite outgoing.
He moves very quickly.
He was sort of like proposing getting close to proposing love, I thought, quite early on.
He wears his heart on his sleeve.
He's a lovely man.
- He's very, very open with people.
- Yeah.
And he's very easily hurt.
If Sai is not interested in seeing Lake again, how will you deal with that? We'll tell him the truth.
We will say I mean, it works both ways.
- It could have been - The truth.
- We'll tell him the truth.
- How do you think he'll feel about that? Erm the pill will be sugared by meeting other ladies in-between.
- He's being quite hard on you.
- I can take it.
- Part of the job? - Yes.
We're here to serve them.
At the end of the day, they shake my hands and say, "Thank you very much, you've changed my life.
" That's what it's all about, making people happy.
Giving them their dreams.
- Dream-weaver.
- Mm, dream-weaver.
- Lawrence Lynch, dream-weaver.
- We try our humble best.
- There you go.
- Good one.
- Thank you.
- All right.
It's been a pleasure.
Nice to meet you, Louis.
- You, too.
- Been a pleasure.
Tell me how it goes.
Will you give me updates? I will.
0K, bye now.
The next day I had a call from Ronnie to say several Thai women had expressed an interest in my particulars.
I'd found yesterday's dating experience a little unnerving.
I'd decided I wouldn't be using any of Lake's techniques.
Right Well, you gave me a selection of ladies that you would like to meet.
And what do they know about me? At this stage, I think they know your age and your height and your profession and that we think you're a nice guy.
So you have had to lie a little bit.
(Laughs) You call that lying? Is it too late to back out? Erm not very polite.
The ladies are actually here.
Is that a problem? (Whispers) 0K.
- How do you do? - Fine.
Thank you.
- And what's your name? - Max.
- Max.
- Please sit down.
I'm just gonna get a chair for myself so I can sit down, if you'll excuse me.
Erm - (Ronnie) Just relax.
- Yes.
I am relaxed.
- May I ask how old you are? - 30.
30? Wow.
You look much younger.
I also like your hair very much.
Very fashionable.
- You can do like this.
- We could have matching haircuts.
You can make the highlight like this.
0f many colour.
No? - Mm? - What do you want in your ideal husband? 0h, kindness man.
Gentle.
Good-looking.
Good money.
Good job.
Do you have any questions for me? Do you have a girlfriend? (Laughs) That's a tough one.
I do, actually.
I do have a girlfriend.
She's in London.
I think so because you look good-looking, smart.
0h Excellent.
It's going quite well, isn't it? Absolutely.
(Chuckles) - Thank you.
Very much.
- Thank you.
- Nice to see you.
Good luck.
- Good luck you too.
She's a strong woman, which I think is excellent.
But that's not what you've been putting out, is it? Look, she's exposed to the Western world much more than others.
As you know, she's a tourist guide.
I almost feel as though you're ever so slightly distancing yourself from, erm from what she represents, I suppose.
She's not typical, no.
No.
For your husband, do you have an age in mind? Would you like him to be a certain age? 40 year up.
- Up? - Yeah.
What if he's less than 40? Like 30? 0h, no, I think it's young.
- Too young? - Yeah.
0K, Ronnie, that's me out of the picture.
I'm only 30.
0K.
Why would you like to marry a Western man? Because I think they are kind and I hope they are romantic.
- Where, in your dreams, would you live? - I want to go to live in England.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
Yeah.
- Why to England? - Somebody told me beautiful country.
I travel a lot because I make television programmes.
Er, so I might be away you know, for two weeks, then come back for a week, then go away for two weeks.
- Is that a problem? - It's no problem.
I like, too, to travel.
- I couldn't always take you with me.
- Yeah, I know.
Do you want children? Yeah.
- Some.
Maybe one, two.
- Yeah.
Do you marry already? I've never No.
I've never married, no.
- No children.
- No children.
You're a very beautiful young woman.
- Hey, wait, before you go out - Yes.
Erm and then do people actually and people sometimes And then, presumably, sometimes, the Thai women say, "No, thank you"? It says in your brochure that you should get used to the idea of rejection.
It could happen.
And if that does happen, don't take offence and - So it does happen? - Yeah.
You could be interested to go out with him, if he asked you? Interest in me? No, I It's (Chuckles) He actually said you're all very nice.
Cos I know your answer.
- I think you quite like him, yes? - Yes.
Yeah, I thought so.
Would you go out with him, or not? He's definitely too young for you? - Louis? - Yeah.
- He have girlfriend in England.
- I know.
Let's suppose he didn't have a girlfriend.
- Lf he didn't have a lady friend - I'd go with him.
- You would? - Yeah.
- 0K.
0K.
Thank you.
- (Giggles) - All right.
- I can't think about that.
Yeah.
0K, all right.
Thank you.
- See you.
- All right.
Bye-bye.
As far as I'm concerned, they all would like to go out with you if you were a genuine client.
- Wow.
- So the choice would then be down to you, really.
Yeah.
So I could just have my pick.
I could just do whatever I want.
No, you can't do whatever you want.
But seven out of ten would be happy with you if you were free.
I'm not gonna take this any further, as far as going to any restaurants or anything.
- Is that all right? - No problem.
Yes.
No problem.
Amazing.
So erm I mean, I know you're not gonna agree with this, Ronnie, but I do think there's a perception that Western people can offer more security in their relationships.
Nothing wrong with that, though.
The security that they're looking for in the relationship, over and above the financial side, is the emotional security.
But if you look at the statistics, between us I mean, I've been going out with the same woman for a long time.
- Right.
- But you've had four marriages.
Nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with that.
But the average between us is two divorces.
And they're all yours.
Can I just say, I thought those women were very, very nice.
- Thank you.
- Really nice.
- So, thank you for introducing me.
- You are very welcome.
- Really.
- You're welcome.
- Well, I should probably be moving along.
- 0K.
And maybe, erm Maybe we can hook up sometime in - Absolutely.
England.
- See you later.
- See you.
Thank you.
I quite liked Ronnie.
I only hoped his latest marriage would fare better than the previous three.
- Cheers.
- Bye-bye.
Now that I'd had my dates, it was clear Just how easy it was to get involved and I worried that agency clients entered into their relationships without thinking them through.
As if on cue, the next day I received a hurried phone call from Lawrence Lynch on the latest developments in Lake's love life.
I hoped he hadn't done anything too drastic.
- Hi, Louis.
- Lawrence.
- Good to see you.
Please take a seat.
- How are you doing? - Very well.
- Looking well.
- Yes, and you.
- And I hear there's erm Love is in the air.
When last we met, Lake had been on a date with Sai.
What's happened since? Well, we got feedback on the date the next morning.
And Lake was sort of lukewarm on it.
- No, he wasn't.
- All right, a little bit more than lukewarm.
But the lady was lukewarm, at the end of the day.
So that one fell on stony ground.
And he went on two more dates and, lo and behold, this particular lady caught Lake's eye.
They had a half hour together, expressing what they were looking for in partners, as we always do, and agreed to go out on their first date, seven o'clock that evening.
- So - So, this is two days ago, this happened? Indeed.
Since then, they've got married.
They married this morning.
We've just come back from their wedding, about three hours ago.
They're very happy.
- That's unbelievable.
Married already? - Indeed.
- In two days? - Indeed, yes.
He proposed to the lady on the first date.
Is that wise? That seems too quick.
That seems a rush.
The day before, it seemed like he wanted to bring Sai home to Great Yarmouth.
And now he's talking about marrying He's married this other woman.
- What you've got to believe is - That seems really That seems much too quick.
She knows about that he's on heavy medication? - Yes.
- And post-traumatic stress syndrome.
- That he gets very agitated and angry.
- Yes.
Yes.
- They spent - Yes? Yes, indeed.
She does.
He told me himself, he finds her a calming influence.
And he's a new man, he really is.
You will see when you meet him.
You understand why I'm pushing you a bit harder? Because I do think this is very serious.
Yeah, people are going to say this is very contrived.
I never, never suggest that anybody rushes into a hasty marriage unless they feel 100% certain.
At the same time, if both sides have had everything made clear to them, explained to them, and they're still prepared to proceed we can't stop them.
Well, I think I might go over and meet the happy couple.
(Lake) That might be him now.
- Hello! - How are you doing? - Come on in.
- Look at you.
Let's get down to it, baby.
Yes.
How's it all been going? It has been like a fairy tale.
- We have very hectic two days.
- Yes.
(Lake) Very hectic.
No? - I speak I speak English.
- 0h, I'm sorry.
- A very beautiful lady.
- Very beautiful.
So, what happened? We talked.
Three hours later, "You want me?" "Yes, I like you.
" "You make me happy?" "Yes, I make you happy.
" "Could you love me?" "Yes, I could love you, yes.
" You went through your list of questions? Soul mate, cherish Yes, yes, yes.
Then Mr Lawrence Lynch comes in with his wife.
We say, "Guess what.
We have some news to tell you.
" - He could not believe it, yes? - Yes.
I say, "We are going to get married.
" - He went, "Aah What?" - Shock.
He said that must be the shortest period of time in his entire history.
- Very quick.
- Very quick.
Too quick? Well, when you see a bargain, do you let it get away? - Somebody else buy.
- Yeah.
- A bargain.
- So, what was it? So it was erm Chemistry.
Chemistry.
Meeting of minds.
What was it that you liked about Lake when you saw him? Want to have a friend, good friend.
Someone to take care each other.
Because he alone, I'm alone.
He tell me everything.
He said he not rich man.
I say 0K.
- Not a rich man.
- Not a rich man.
I say I don't want money because I have a car, I have a a a house.
I have my own house.
I think he's like the honest.
- Very honest.
- Mm-hm.
- And he takes medicine.
- Yes.
Many, many, too much medicine.
He show me.
I give I give to you.
May the May the flame of our love never die.
I love you.
I need you.
I want you.
0K? - You make me happy? - Yeah, make you happy.
Very happy.
- 0K? - Thank you.
You sure how you make me happy? Always make you happy.
If you not happy, you tell me.
- We are now one, 50-50.
Together.
- Mm-hm.
One.
0K? Not two people.
One.
- One person.
I love you.
- I understand.
- Do you love me? - Yes.
(Laughs) I wasn't quite sure what I'd Just seen.
But I knew it was time for me to leave.
- You have to go now? - I think I'll make a move.
- Thank you so much.
- It's been lovely to see you.
- I'll be checking up on you.
- Yes.
No more divorces.
(Speaks Thai) I left Thailand feeling confused.
Bye-bye.
Guys like Lake were definitely finding happiness, but for how long and at what price it was too early to say.
You come to me On a summer breeze Keep me warm in your love Then you softly leave How deep is your love? Your love, how deep is your love? I really need to know Cos we're living in a world 0f fools (Both) Breaking us down When they all should let us be They belong to you and me Ba da-da da da La la-la la la deep is your love? How deep is your love? How deep is your love? (Lake) How deep?