Love Life (2020) s02e08 Episode Script

Yogi & Kian

[man] I'm glad I got
all of you here today.
[narrator] Marcus had suffered
through breakups before,
but he had always instigated them,
even if only through subterfuge.
This time around, he'd been resoundingly
and inexplicably dumped.
But if it does, you got three options.
Run, hide, or fight.
Now, if you choose to run, do not stall.
Looking for your phone
could cost you your life.
Now, if you find yourself in a situation
where you gotta fight,
you're gonna want to grab anything,
and I mean anything
that can be used as a weapon, okay?
You. What are you gonna grab? Think fast.
A hot pot of coffee.
Good. You, name another weapon.
Uh, Mini fridge, butcher knife,
my PEN America award.
And you. [snaps fingers]
Hey, with the phone?
What are you gonna use as a weapon? Huh?
Come on, I got a gun pointed at you.
Okay, well, I I would like to shoot him.
I'd like to shoot myself
right now, you know?
Or you.
Love to shoot you.
And Jenna, come on, a hot pot of coffee?
Someone's coming at you with a gun,
you gonna throw coffee on him?
That's gonna piss them off more.
I'm sorry for taking this seriously.
You know, and what good
is running and hiding
when you're getting shot at?
Bullets are faster than legs, right?
I mean, come on. Science, you know?
Everybody's catching bullets.
You are, I'm catching a bullet.
- Marcus.
- What?
You're scaring me.
Okay, he's scaring me.
You're scaring her.
This breakup is messing you up, man.
You're not allowed in the office?
No, I'm allowed in the office.
I'm just on a two-week leave.
Yeah, good, good.
[Kian] Yeah, man, seriously.
Yo, can you put that shit away?
Bro, you got to protect your mental.
You will go crazy looking at that shit.
Am I right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, 100%.
Okay, okay, okay.
[Yogi] I'm gonna get the oysters or
You're gonna share the fucking oysters.
Bro, enough, enough.
Yogi's right, it's not healthy.
- You need a digital detox.
- Mm-hmm.
For real.
I need some fresh air.
That's a good idea, yeah. Relax.
You know, work on some, like,
mental health stuff.
You know?
- [Yogi] I got an idea.
- What?
Atlantic City.
I was thinking something
a little bit low-key.
Maybe go chill in the forest.
Like, just go fishing,
stare at the stars.
Yes, camping.
Yeah, Tina owe me anyway.
Took her to get her nails done
and they gave me a pedicure, too.
There's fish that eat
the shit off your feet?
I was stepping on them,
you know what I'm saying?
They didn't tell me
they would give me a fish one.
Killed seven fish. The guy was like,
"You gotta pay eight bucks a fish."
What are we talking about?
- When you go there they
- We're talking about Marcus.
What you talking
about fish on your feet for?
I need this. I'm a fucking snap
like Christopher Dorner over here.
[all laugh]
I'm camping. I'm in for sure.
- Yeah?
- Yes, I'm in.
- Kian, you in?
- Uh
All right, if you're busy,
don't worry about it.
Your ass is comin'.
I don't wanna hear nothing.
Yeah, I'll come.
- Let's do this. Let's get it on.
- Let's get fucked up.
[smooth electronic music playing]
[Marcus] Bro, tropical Swishers?
Whoa, whoa, bro.
Watch your tone, okay? Only God can judge.
These bitches hit like a smoothie.
- Let me hit that when you're done.
- There's no smoking in the car.
This is a vintage
fourth-generation Ford Bronco
that I have customized, okay?
I don't know why we in this anyway.
Who pick up two Black dudes in a Bronco?
No one even
makes that association anymore.
You sure?
They might, they might.
Next time, we'll go in your Honda Odyssey.
- How is that?
- That's a low blow.
- I have a family.
- All right.
That I do not give a fuck about
this weekend.
[laughs] Yeah. What you think about this?
Why do you have those little bottles?
You know what remind me of my childhood?
When you little, these a fifth!
After school, Power Rangers, bam.
Two of these BeetleBorgs.
That is the darkest shit I've heard.
Turned out good, man. Here.
Oh, man, this is
This is Mia's favorite vodka.
[Yogi] Marcus, please.
No Mia this weekend, bro.
- Right, right.
- You just drink.
You too, man. Here.
No, dude, I'm driving.
Man, it's vacation.
Bro, I know it's vacation.
I'm the one who brought the shrooms.
In the form of a chocolate bar.
Wow, hardcore.
That's right, baby.
Got 'em from Amsterdam.
They gonna get you so fucked up,
you'll be seeing fucking
- Flies?
- Flies?
- You know what I mean. Like
- All right.
Play some music in this bitch.
That's my phone.
No, no. I don't No. That's my phone.
And my phone doesn't have any, um,
good tunes on it.
No good tunes? What is it,
a fucking iPod shuffle?
All right. It's all right. I'll play mine.
See, my man got a phone.
Y'all into freak folk?
Freak folk?
[Vashti Bunyan song plays]
I'd like to walk around ♪
In your mind someday ♪
What is this, like, Amish R&B?
I'd like to walk all over ♪
No shit, boy, this shit sound like
somebody about to milk a bull.
Y'all hear this shit?
I'd like to run and jump ♪
It's not bad.
On your solitude ♪
- Right?
- Yeah.
I'd like to rearrange
your attitude to me ♪
[Yogi] Oh-ho-ho.
Okay, okay. Not bad.
- Not bad.
- Yeah, not gonna lie.
I thought you about to get us a pup tent
and this is for the come through.
Why am I always a cheap ass
when I'm paying for everything?
Whoa. First of all, it's a joke.
Second of all, what the fuck
is wrong with you?
- What?
- Bro, you been acting
like a bitch the whole ride.
- I have not.
- The phone shit,
- the music, like
- Come on.
I got him moping around,
Mr. Heartbreak over here.
- I don't need it from you today.
- I'm fine.
- Let it go.
- Your Bitcoin crash?
You gotta sell your fossils or some shit?
Do you really wanna know?
Not when you say it like that.
That sounds serious.
Whatever it is, not this weekend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay?
- Not today, not tomorrow.
- Get it in.
- Give me this.
- Let's do it.
- Man.
[Yogi] Yo, look at the yurt!
- What you think?
- Yo, yo, y'all ready?
- Hell yeah.
- [Marcus] Let's check it out.
[exclaims, laughs]
All right!
There it is. That's my bed right here.
- Oh, my God, bro.
- [Marcus] Uh-huh.
I'm sleeping alone tonight.
No kids stomping on my nuts talking about,
"Oh, we see a monster!"
I'm going straight balls
to the blanket in this bitch.
Oh. No, bro.
Tell you what we're
not gonna do, is this shit.
- Give me that.
- What, bro?
What if I have a work emergency?
I'll let you know
if there's a fire. Relax.
So the whole time,
it wasn't even a mountain lion.
It was a golden retriever.
Bro, that's not funny.
Bro, you city as hell.
That was my last pair of drawers.
- I was like
- [both laugh]
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, man.
- Yo, is he okay?
- I should go.
I think they got pictures
of him on that Epstein island.
Hey, get you some of that,
but don't fill up.
- [Marcus] All right.
- Light that grill up.
[Marcus] All right.
What's up with you? You good?
Yeah, man. Yeah.
He has no idea what he's doing.
He's so confused.
That is a barbecue.
No, no, we got charcoal.
We don't have lighter fluid.
Ain't no lighter fluid, bro.
Get some newspaper or something.
Let's go to Hudson News
and get some magazines.
No, you need some sticks,
because wood produces heat.
You cook your own food.
Wait, wait, do you have those
liquor bottles that you had?
- Yeah, I do.
- All right.
- In your pocket.
- It's my sidearm.
- I don't wanna hear shit.
- [laughs]
[Yogi] What are you about to do?
You about to liquor Oh, God.
I don't even wanna be here.
- Y'all ready?
- [Kian] Here we go.
[Yogi] Don't burn
them bald eagle eyebrows off.
- [Marcus] Bam. Bam.
- Wow.
He knows to make fire.
This how the cavemen did it.
[Kian] I believed in you.
- [Marcus] Fire, baby!
- [Kian] It is alive!
[Yogi] Man, bro
That fish was fire.
[ukulele playing]
Man, that fish was
- [Yogi] A little lemon.
- Hell yeah.
Look at us, bro.
Becoming one with nature.
Yeah, this is nice.
Tomorrow we go fishing, eat what we catch.
Unless it's carp.
Carp got, like, hella PCBs in it.
I saw it on YouTube for real.
- For real.
- All right, so,
what sort of fish
should we be angling for?
[Yogi] That's that cornball shit.
- [laughs]
- There it is.
I'm glad my boy is back. I needed that.
Man, I needed one cornball punchline
for the night.
Glad you back, man.
I'd like to make a toast.
[Yogi] Let's get it.
[Marcus] Um
As you know, these last couple of months
have been some of
the shittiest of my life.
Hey, hey, hey. Fuck her, bro.
But I'm feeling a lot
less shitty right now,
and I think that's because of you guys.
So cheers.
I love y'all.
We love you, too, man.
I'm dating Emily.
Uh [chuckles]
Wait, what?
Tell me you're talking about
old girl from The Bachelor
that husband died in crash?
Like, my ex-wife, Emily?
I saw her at a party a couple months back.
We just started talking
and it just happened,
and then it happened again.
And I didn't want to say anything
unless I thought it was real.
But Marcus, I think it's real.
And I'm so sorry
to be springing this on you
when you are
I think we're gonna build
a future together.
I am so
deeply sorry, Marcus.
Do you hate me?
Please don't fucking hate me, man.
Please don't hate me, Marcus.
I think it's beautiful, man.
What? Are you serious?
Marcus, man, you're amazing. Dude
You are fuck Dude,
you're fucking beautiful.
Get in here.
You are fucking beautiful.
This is the man right here.
He's the fucking man.
Oh, I feel so relieved that you said that.
[Kian] I miss you, too.
I cannot wait to see you.
You're so I love you, babe.
I love you. I love you.
It's all gonna be good now.
[indistinct chatter in distance]
[clears throat]
[indistinct conversation]
[Yogi] But if I fall in, then it's like
[both continue indistinctly]
- [Yogi] Well, if you give me 50
- I'll give you 100 bucks.
[narrator] Marcus had come on this trip
in order to climb out
of the pit of despair.
But so far, the pit
had only gotten deeper still.
He was desperate for catharsis.
It was a problem which, in the moment,
seemed to have one obvious solution
[Yogi] That might be in
my top three times grilling, bro.
Like, sometimes you just
throw down, you know what I'm saying?
- Like
- [Kian] Fuck yeah.
- [Yogi] Man.
- That's the fucking thing
[Yogi] Look at your boy.
There he is. Sleeping beauty.
- Yo, yo.
- [Kian] Pop a squat, baby.
[Yogi] Got a pole for you there.
- [Marcus] All right.
- Man versus nature out here.
Got this bet going.
Who's gonna catch a fish first?
[Yogi] 'Bout to be the easiest 2 grand
I ever won.
[Kian] You sleep okay?
Sure, yeah.
Well, I slept like a rock, man.
Just a world off my chest.
Just, like, I really appreciate
you understanding
this whole Emily situation.
Seriously. I appreciate that.
Yeah, yeah, no, totally.
Yeah, like
Is this supposed to happen?
- What do you think?
- I don't
Does mine look like that?
Look at mine and now look at yours.
- [Kian] Maybe this is advanced.
- I got a question.
Were you attracted to Emily?
Like even when we were married?
Oh, no. Here we go.
- No.
- No?
[Kian] I mean, honestly,
it came out of nowhere.
Okay. All right.
I mean, it's just like,
you got her a bottle of Dom
for her 30th birthday,
You never bought me a bottle, so
You're still hanging on to that.
Hanging on to what?
That you're in love with my ex-wife?
Yeah, man. Maybe a little bit.
- Hold on.
- You guys wanna fish?
- Listen.
- How about we fish?
I get that this is weird,
but can we move past
all this bro code shit, please?
- Move past it?
- [Kian] Yeah.
We were together for seven years.
I'm just saying,
- we're together.
- Wow, okay.
- Okay.
- What?
- How'd you win her?
- What does that mean?
Like, did you get her a trip
on a PJ, a weekend in Aspen?
Did you, like, buy her
a fucking Banksy or some shit?
How did you win her over?
Banksy's a hack,
and I know it sounds crazy,
but she likes me for me. For what this is.
Fuck you, Marcus.
- Come on.
- You didn't love her
and you didn't have the balls to tell her.
So instead you had this emotional affair
and then Emily broke up with you.
What happened between us
is none of your business.
Actually, it is my business.
She's my girlfriend now
and I have to undo the damage
that you did to her.
After you told her you never loved her,
she moved into her parents' basement
and she suffered from
a severe case of psoriasis
because of fucking you.
So stop all your whining
and just be grateful that she's moved on.
I didn't know about that.
Sorry, I didn't mean that.
It wasn't severe.
- I was hyperbolic about that.
- All right.
- I'm going for a ride.
- Marcus.
- No, no.
- Come on.
I'll be back.
[Jefferson Airplane's "Today" playing]
Today ♪
I feel like pleasing you
More than before ♪
Today ♪
I know what I wanna do ♪
But I don't know what for ♪
To be living for you ♪
Is all I want to do ♪
[Mia laughs]
To be loving you ♪
It'll all be there
When my dreams come true ♪
[narrator] As Marcus stared
at the bike's reflector,
he recalled when he first
rode to Mia's apartment
in an attempt to share his feelings.
If he had never done that,
he would have never ended up here.
To be any more than all I am ♪
I'm so full of love ♪
Hey, man.
I'm sorry I fucked up.
Ruined the whole trip.
But there'll be others.
Maybe not with the three of us.
Kian. Kian, shut the fuck up.
Please shut up.
I just Sorry,
you didn't happen to eat
the mushroom chocolate, did you?
And have a bad trip 'cause of you two?
[scoffs] No, thank you.
Well, someone ate a whole bunch of it
and it wasn't me and it wasn't you.
Are you serious?
You don't think he, like, did something?
- What you mean?
- He's depressed.
He's on hallucinogenics.
- I don't know.
- All right,
go get the keys, man.
- We gotta go.
- Should we eat first?
- Bro, go get the keys.
- Okay.
I'm starting to get worried.
Should we call the cops, man?
It's few situations
where I feel comfortable
calling the cops.
A girl went missing up at my
beach house a few summers back.
We thought she drowned.
Thankfully, she was passed out,
washed up on a dune.
Same summer though,
got hit by a drunk driver,
she died.
Oh! Terrible story, man.
- Why is that a story?
- I'm just saying
- Why is it a story for right now?
- It's not gonna happen.
I'm just saying it's a potential.
Hello, hi!
Hello, hi! Help!
[line rings]
[Mia] Hey, this is Mia. Leave a message.
[phone beeps]
Mia, hi. Uh
Hey, man, it's me. Um
I'm I'm so
I'm so lost and tired
and I'm freaking out.
And I took some some drugs.
I took some chocolate mushroom drugs,
and I'm not having a good time.
I think I might be dying.
I threw my bike in a lake,
and I think I saw you sinking with it
but I couldn't get to you.
I just couldn't I just couldn't reach you
and I'm afraid that, like,
no one's gonna find me
because I look like a tree.
And, I don't know
I don't know where I am.
I don't know who I am.
Mia, what
Why wasn't I good enough?
Why It's like
it's like you don't even exist.
I mean, are you real?
I mean like,
are you even are you even real?
Just Mia, just please,
just talk to me, okay?
Would you just Would you talk to
No, no, no, no, no.
It's still going to voicemail.
We should have seen him by now.
I'm starting to freak out.
Bro, this like some Blair Witch shit.
[engine sputtering]
- What the
- Are you serious?
[Kian] What is going on here?
Come on.
This is a nightmare!
I just put ten Gs in this thing!
Are you fucking serious?
Dude, the guy said he re-did
the fucking engine.
He re-did his wallet with ten grand
is what he did.
What the fuck?
- Can you fix it?
- Fix what?
The fucking car, Kian!
I don't know how to fix a car!
- Jesus, oh, my God.
- Don't touch it.
Give me your hands for a second.
[indistinct conversation]
- Shit.
- You okay?
- Marcus!
- Marcus!
- I think we're lost, dude.
- Fuck.
Oh, shit.
Bro, come on man.
Are you all right? Wake up.
- Get him up.
- Can you see me?
Get him up.
Oh, shit.
Are you all right, man?
No, man.
No, no, I'm
I'm not okay. I am
I am a bad person.
I've been a bad husband.
I drove Emily to you.
I do have
redeeming qualities but continue.
Yeah. And then I finally find
the woman of my dreams,
basically, and and then she just
She leaves me with no explanation.
So I mean, I just Yeah,
you're right, Kian.
I'm an asshole and this is my punishment.
Let's get back to the campsite.
No, no, no, no, not
Not until I break the cycle.
- What?
- I got to break the cycle.
- Somebody hit me.
- What?
[Marcus] No, no, in the face.
Somebody hit me in the face.
[Yogi] Nobody's hitting you in the face.
You should be hitting me in the face.
I'm the asshole, okay?
I lied to you, man.
I had a crush on Emily
while you guys were married.
- I'm sorry.
- And I knew that.
I knew that. I I saw you
graze her butt but I didn't say anything.
I didn't want to make a big deal of it.
But I knew, you know?
I don't even remember that.
I'm sorry that you even saw that.
Dude, I love you, man.
I love you. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, man. I mean, fuck.
Hey, this shit is beautiful
[Kian] It was out of nowhere.
Can we go to the campsite
before we get ate?
No. Not until someone hits me in the
- [Yogi grunts]
- Whoa!
- [Marcus] There we go.
- The fuck was that?
That's the stuff.
[Marcus groans]
I just wanted a fucking
relax weekend, bro.
I've been babysitting you the whole time.
Does anybody wanna know how I'm doing?
You okay?
Tina's pregnant again.
Oh, congratulations!
That's great, man.
Every time you have a kid,
a little piece of yourself, you lose it.
I have to be on all the fucking time.
It's like [sighs]
I'm giving when I have nothing left.
I'm so sorry for being
such a shitty friend, bro.
Bro, stop. Stop. It's not about you, bro.
Like, bro, I love you to death
but you can be a little fucking
self-absorbed sometimes.
Mia did a number on you,
but it can't consume you
for the rest of your life.
You also can't consume drugs
for three people.
- I know.
- Look,
you have to accept the fact
that she had her reasons
and just move the fuck on.
You don't know what Mia's going through.
You may never know.
And you gotta be okay with that, bro.
I know you hurting, man. I'm sorry, bro.
I really am, man.
I'm sorry that shit happened to you.
Oh, God. Okay.
You were fucking 100% on that.
- I love you, man.
- [Kian] Dude.
- I love you, man.
- Jesus Christ.
You scared us, man.
[Kian] Yeah, man.
- [Yogi] Oh.
- [Marcus groans]
You said you wanted to look at the stars.
See that?
What is happening? Come on, get up.
Hey, get up.
[grunts, groans]
Come on, knock it off.
- Slept on the ground at home, shit.
- [Marcus grunts]
We should get back to the camp.
Come on, guys. Let's go.
[groans] With what? The busted-ass Bronco?
[softly] Fuck.
You got AAA?
My assistant will deal with it.
Let's just go.
Whoa, whoa.
How are we getting home though?
I told Tina I'd be back by 12:00.
Just call and tell her
you're gonna be late.
That's not gonna work.
She don't buy that shit.
I gotta get home, bro.
Like a park ranger? A Mountie?
I have a better idea.
- [Kian] Oh, my God.
- Hi.
Love you so much right now.
- Hi.
- [Kian] You okay?
Yo, have you seen her since y'all split?
[Emily and Kian speaking indistinctly]
[indistinct conversation]
- Help me out?
- Sure. [groans]
So, you dating anyone?
Yeah, it's been a bit of a whirlwind.
Well, I'm really happy for you guys.
Thank you.
Sorry about all your shit.
Kian told me what happened.
No, no, that's okay. It is what it is.
I've been there.
I'm sorry, Em.
I really, really am.
[John Cale and Brian Eno's
"Spinning Away"]
I appreciate that.
Well, hang in there, all right?
Thanks. I will.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
Mm ♪
Up on a hill ♪
As the day dissolves ♪
Yo, yo.
- Got your bag, bro.
- Oh, thanks, man.
With my pencil turning moments
Into line ♪
[indistinct chatter]
High above ♪
In the violet sky ♪
A silent silver plane ♪
It draws a golden chain ♪
One by one ♪
All the stars appear ♪
As the great winds
Of the planet spiral in ♪
Spinning away ♪
Like the night sky at Arles ♪
In the million insect storm ♪
The constellations form ♪
On a hill ♪
Under a raven sky ♪
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