Macgyver s02e13 Episode Script

Soft Touch

Siberia not known for its tourist trade or overpopulation.
That's exactly why it's such a popular place for political prisoners and nuclear facilities.
This is a nuclear reconstitution plant.
The work is dangerous, and they don't get a lot of volunteers to do it.
So political prisoners like Yuri Demetri get assigned.
- Howdy.
- Howdy.
"Howdy"? That's an American greeting.
MacGyver? Yuri Demetri? How'd you like to go back to the United States with me? Your father's kind of anxious to see you again.
You saw my father? Yeah.
And he wants you to know he's sorry you've had to suffer because of his defection.
So he arranged all the papers and passport? Well, not exactly.
No, that's crazy.
You can't get me through the gates without papers.
They'll stop us.
They'll shoot! Who said anything about going through? - Hang tight.
- "Hang tight"? Hey, Yuri.
No, MacGyver, you're crazy! No! It was a real trick getting Yuri Demetri out of Russia, but we finally made it.
And Yuri was already making me appreciate how much we take our freedom for granted.
That'll be 1 8 bucks, pal.
There you go.
That's where you live? - Yeah, that's it.
- Good.
Then I'll soon see my father.
Just as soon as Pete sends us a car.
Let's wait upstairs.
Come on.
- There is a Mrs.
MacGyver? - No, there's no Mrs.
MacGyver! Hi! Penny Parker? What are you doing here? Oh, well, you're probably not gonna believe this, - but you remember that job I had? - No.
Oh, well, anyways, it didn't work out.
So I got this other job as a sales clerk at one of those fancy stores on Rodeo Drive.
And it was going really, really well until I had this little accident.
And, well, after the fire truck came Fire truck? Yeah.
And the boss, he got really mad and he blew his top and he fired me.
So, see, I'm kind of broke, and I figured you wouldn't mind if I stayed here.
You don't mind, do you? As a matter of fact, I have a problem with that.
Well, I won't be here that long, because I got another job.
That's why I'm dressed like this.
Hello, MacGyver How you been doing? So happy to see you again I'm a singing telegram star.
See, I decided to go back into show business.
It's always been my first love.
Who are you? Yuri Demetri.
I love you.
That's so sweet.
Hi, I'm Penny Parker.
Penny, how did you get in here? Well, I told the manager that I was your girlfriend.
And that I was kind of pregnant.
I don't believe this.
You are pregnant, and he will not make you honest? - Then I'll marry her! - Yuri, she said that to get in here.
Look, I'm going on vacation tomorrow.
Well, then I can housesit for you.
Just till Friday? I get my first paycheck then.
Please? Here? Are you kidding me? Look what you've done to my place.
Well, I'll clean it up.
I'll be good.
I promise.
Penny, don't you have any relatives? Any friends? I have you.
Till Friday? Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
What time is it? Oh, my gosh! I'm gonna be late.
I have to deliver a telegram to the Bluesteins.
It's their 50th wedding anniversary.
Bye, Yuri.
Nice meeting you.
I'll bring your Jeep back when I'm done.
Jeep? My Jeep? What are you talking about? Penny! My Jeep? Don't worry.
I'll fill the tank up with gas.
Come on, Julian, you can either talk to us now or talk to us later.
A very painful affair.
You know, it only takes I thought it would be more.
I told you no one knows about you.
I swear I just found out myself.
Wrong answer.
Is this really necessary? You tell me.
We're here to make a hit, this guy knows about it.
I wanna know who else knows about it.
- What do you suggest? - Yeah.
Get him a manicure? You wanna talk to him? Come on, he's your friend.
You worked with him for 1 0 years.
They all look the same.
Oh, well.
I guess I put that address in here somewhere.
I know it had a lot of twos in it.
A party.
This must be it.
Like the music, Julian? Go ahead and scream.
Nobody can hear you.
Derek, get me off this thing! Hello? - Did you hear that? - Hear what? I knew it would work.
I gotta hand it to you.
I had my doubts, but you pulled it off.
What did you do? What's wrong with him? He passed out.
You feds got no stamina.
Popped his eardrums.
Hello? Hello? Singing telegram.
Are you guys crazy? What's the point? It amuses us to test the limits of the human body.
And it works.
People talk.
Yeah, but he didn't tell us anything.
He told us all we need to know.
He's the only one knows about the hit we got planned.
We're in the clear.
All right, all right.
What now? Now we kill him.
Hey, hey It's Mel and Claudia's anniversary For them I wrote This little verse you see So sing and dance And have some fun You're not the Bluesteins.
Grab her, Vince.
It's locked.
Terrific, she's gone.
Now what? I got her license plate number.
Think you could track her down? Maybe you can use that old fed training of yours.
If we're not imposing.
While you do what? Finish the business with Julian.
Then we're moving out of this neighbourhood.
You can meet us at the old fish cannery.
Don't be so shaky, Derek.
Just find the girl.
We'll take care of the rest.
Yeah, we enjoy our work.
Yes, I think we can find room for him temporarily.
We'll take full responsibility.
Yes, I understand.
We'll look after him.
Small change of plans, Yuri.
Your father's been sent to New York for security reasons, so you're gonna join him there tomorrow, after the State Department has had time to debrief you.
So I'll spend some time with my new American friends, MacGyver and Penny Parker.
No, no.
I'm afraid you're gonna have to stay right here.
And, MacGyver, I want you to go with him all the way to New York.
Now, wait a minute.
Aren't you the guy that told me to go to Russia and then take some time off? Pete, I went to Russia.
I know you did.
But what's one more day? Besides, we don't want Yuri travelling with some rookie agent that he doesn't even know, do we? Right.
What's one more day? You and me, it's like Butch and Sundance.
Butch and Sundance? I love American cinema.
That'll be $4.
50, sir.
Keep it.
MacGyver! MacGyver, wait! Please! MacGyver, wait! Wait, MacGyver! MacGyver, you're-- You're not gonna believe what I just saw.
I mean, I don't believe what I just saw.
I went out on my job, only I couldn't find my address, so I thought I'd go to a bunch of houses, you know, figuring I'd find the right one eventually.
Anyways, this one house I went into, it had these four guys in it.
And the one, he was strapped to this board and he looked like a TV antenna.
I mean, he had wires coming out of his ears-- - TV antenna? - Yeah! And then these three men, they came chasing after me and I barely got away.
I tried to lock them into the garage, but they got out somehow.
And then I got in the Jeep and I really thought they were gonna get me because I put it in reverse and I hit that parked car behind me.
What? You hit a car with my Jeep? Yeah, I'm really sorry, - but I was so scared.
- You did! I was so scared, and they were gonna kill me.
I just know it! I'll pay for the damages, and it's not that bad.
It's just that I panicked, and I put the car in the wrong gear.
Anyways, we have to go back there right now.
Back where? To that house! With the torture chamber.
That man, he's dead.
Or at least close to it.
He was all beaten up and he had wires coming out of his head.
There's gotta be a logical explanation for what you think you saw.
Logic has nothing to do with it.
Now, we've gotta go back there and help that man.
Right now.
Please, MacGyver? Why don't we just call the police? Because I can't remember the address.
- But you remember how to get there? - Yes! And there's no time to lose.
Come on, let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
- Good.
Well, all I remember is that the street was named after a tree.
Penny, all the streets around here are named after trees.
This is Forest Knoll Estates.
Now, come on, you told me you knew where this place was.
I do.
It's just around this corner.
You said that about the last corner.
I think we'd be a lot better off if we just went home and called the police.
No, there's no time.
We're almost there.
How did you get there in the first place? Well, there was music playing before.
I know the address had a lot of twos in it.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute, that's it.
It was brown.
I know it.
- I know that's it.
- Penny they're all brown around here.
No, but this is it.
I'm absolutely positive.
Come on.
We gotta get that man out of there.
Wait a minute.
Hold it.
You went in through the garage? No, I went in through the front door, but I came around into the garage.
The man, he's in there.
Open it.
Why don't I see if there's someone at home, all right? If you're not gonna open it, then I am.
Where's all the gym stuff? Where's Vince? Where's the man with the antenna? Penny, I think you may have made a mistake.
Where's Vince? Come on, what's going on here? Sorry about this.
Well, I think maybe it's the house next door.
Who was that woman? Who's Vince? What was she doing in my house? How should I know? You're the one that wanted to move to California.
The voice-activated detonator will be placed on the wheelchair, see? - All set.
- And where will Estevez be? Next to the wheelchair at ground zero.
This better work.
You're always picking on my stuff.
- Corned beef? - Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
You worry me.
My life is in your hands with your little gadgets.
Trust me.
Have I ever let you down in 1 3 years? But these Colombians are different.
You miss the first hit with them, you become the hit.
We don't find this Estevez guy before he talks to the feds, it's hasta maƱana for us, amigo.
This corned beef's got mustard on it.
Scrape it off.
I'll tell you what worries me.
Having this guy, Derek, as our inside man.
He's wrapped too tight.
Derek, baby, how are you? Did you get Estevez's voice on the tape like I asked you? Yes, I was right there at the airport when he arrived.
Of course, you could always catch him again on the 6:00 news.
You know, you're only gonna have one opportunity.
It has to work.
We'll give you a written guarantee.
Come on, have something to eat.
I got you a hot pastrami on rye.
You get a line on that singing telegram in the cowboy suit? DMV shows the Jeep is registered to some guy named MacGyver.
- Here's the address.
- Figure he's the boyfriend? Whoever.
He's in bad company.
What are you going to do? First we're gonna take care of that little girl.
He's with her, he goes too.
And then we're gonna take care of our hit.
I got a little surprise for Estevez before he talks to the feds.
What kind of surprise? Let me put it to you this way.
He's gonna be sorry he ever opened his mouth.
You're gonna love this.
Estevez, Mr.
Estevez, does your trip to California have anything to do with the drug problem in this country? If solutions to our drug problem depends in our cooperation between my country and the United States It takes my device a few seconds.
It's gotta make sure it's got the right voice.
I think I have some ideas that will greatly reduce the flow of traffic.
Now, you gonna stop making fun of my stuff? And you You just put this where it belongs.
Hey, Derek you forgot your sandwich.
This is it.
Here it comes.
Now, don't expect too much.
It's really a small scene.
I'm sure you did just fine, Penny.
Well, the director did say I was a natural.
Here it comes.
That was it? Well, I said it was small.
That was you? Yeah.
I mean, after all, it was just my first professional job.
Well, you did just fine, Penny.
- How about some more popcorn? - Sure.
Now stay tuned for our newsbreak update.
You know, you're a really great host.
Colombia's Javier Estevez arrived at Los Angeles International Airport this afternoon under heavy security.
Estevez is expected to meet with the local police and DEA officials Iater this week.
Estevez was asked how far-reaching his U.
visit will be.
If solutions to our drug problems are to be found, there must be more cooperation - between Colombia and the United - That's him! - That's him! - Who? That's-- The guy behind Estevez.
That is the guy that I saw in the garage today.
-flowing of drug traffic between - Where? An important visit by a man with something to say.
I'm Hettie Lynne Hurtes reporting for Channel Three News from the airport.
Now back to you, Michael.
I swear that was him, MacGyver.
I swear it.
You're sure it's the same man? Yeah, I'm sure it's the same man.
His left shoulder was lower than his right.
And he had a really small upper lip.
You saw all that? Yeah.
I'm an actress.
It's my job to study people.
MacGyver, we have to do something.
All right.
All right, I'll have Pete line up a copy of that newsbreak as soon as possible.
MacGyver, I'm really scared.
You'll be all right, Penny.
I need to talk to you.
Step out here for a minute, will you? You really think she stumbled onto something? Well, it sure got the feds' attention.
Come here, I wanna show you something.
I have heard of torture in Russia, but I never saw a man with wires in his head.
Yuri, it was awful.
But I guess everything will be okay now.
So MacGyver says you're a real live honest-to-goodness poet.
This is so.
I study acting at a studio in the Valley.
I don't know about this Valley, but it sounds like we both are artists searching for the world that would allow us to express ourselves.
Yuri, that's so beautiful.
No, it's dim compared to the beauty of you.
So how did you learn to speak English so well? From American movies.
Frankly, my dear I don't give a damn.
That's really good.
Can I impose a small favour upon you? Sure.
Now that I'll be living in the United States, I don't think name Yuri is very red hot.
I would like a new Western name.
Can you help me to think of one? Of course.
I'd love to.
So when I called the DEA to tell them what Penny saw, they ended up hiring the Foundation to work on security for this Estevez press conference.
Why are they so nervous? They lost an agent.
Their top man covering Estevez, Robert Julian.
Lost? Murdered.
His body was found in the Malibu hills this morning.
He'd been tortured.
His eardrums were shattered.
Well, that could connect to the guy Penny saw with the earphones.
As soon as Larson's people dig up that newsbreak tape, they're gonna wanna go over it with her.
How about Sean? No, you don't look like a Sean.
Have you ever thought about Biff? - You like the name Biff? - I love it.
So Biff it will be.
It is so good you come at this minute.
I have picked out my new American name.
It will be Biff.
I gave him the idea.
Has a nice ring to it.
Penny? You wanna go? Well, it was really nice talking to you.
I hope to see you again soon.
I don't think we'll ever see each other again.
I'll miss you, Penny Parker.
Goodbye Biff.
Biff? Wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.
The Phoenix Foundation thinks the killer is already next to Estevez? According to Pete Thornton, the girl says the man is part of Estevez's entourage.
- But that's impossible.
- Is it? Is it also impossible for the one agent we had close to the Estevez case to turn up dead? You're right, Mr.
Larson, we must find Julian's killer.
Change the location of the press conference.
And I want you to personally check everyone that has access to Estevez, including your agents.
I want the man kept alive.
Yes, sir.
I'm right on it.
And about this Thornton at the Phoenix Foundation.
He should have that girl take a look at the newsbreak tape.
It might give us a lead.
That's a great idea.
I tell you, this job is driving me crazy.
Nervous clients, weird chicks, nosy feds.
You know, there's one weak link in the whole operation, it's Derek.
- Yeah.
- Corrupt cops, - you just can't depend on them.
- I tell you, it wouldn't make me upset if this is the last time we work for them Colombians.
- You're telling me.
- But their money's good.
Derek, sorry to keep you waiting.
Everything all set? Changed the location to city hall.
Make sure you don't get lost.
You know, the Parker girl saw me on the news last night standing next to Estevez.
We'll take care of her.
Be sure you do.
Just let us do our job, okay? Look, you two barbarians, I'm here because the Colombian bosses needed me a lot more than they needed you.
Derek, baby, they own you.
You're their puppet.
So just do your job and plant that bomb.
I'm already way ahead of you guys.
I placed the bomb.
I know what I'm doing.
Now we know what we gotta do.
Just like they told us.
You think we should give them a discount? No, he's been too much trouble.
Do you wanna snuff the girl? Yeah.
She reminds me of that broad in Cleveland that stood me up once.
It'd be a pleasure.
I can't believe poor Yuri.
You know, he hasn't had a fresh vegetable in nine months.
I guess we're pretty lucky, huh? Yep, I guess we are.
I'm really sorry, MacGyver.
Don't worry about it.
I can fix it.
No, it's not just that.
I mean, it seems like I'm always popping into your life at the worst possible moment and dragging you into something.
Well, it's not like you go out looking for trouble.
It just seems to find you.
And I think that's a direct result of caring too much, which is not a bad thing.
You really mean that? Yeah, I really mean that.
Come on.
So do you think that the men that I saw are involved in this drug thing? Gotta be.
Yeah, she is.
Hang on.
- It's for you.
- Oh, thanks.
I do? That's great! When? That only gives me half an hour.
Yeah, I understand.
Thanks, bye.
I got it! I got it! - Got what? - I got my first commercial audition.
For Carob dishwashing detergent.
You know, the soap that leaves your hands - as soft as a rose petal.
- That's terrific.
Well, tell me to break a leg.
Well, Penny, you can't go out there.
Why not? - Who is it? - Biff.
- Who? - Yuri Demetri.
- Hi.
- Yuri, what are you doing here? I've come to spend my last minutes in L.
protecting Penny Parker.
You're such a doll, Biff.
Bi-- Yuri, how did you get out of Thornton's office? I was looking for the men's room, I took the wrong turn and found myself outside.
So I decided it could work for me.
Oh, great.
I'm taking you back.
And you're staying right here.
You can't keep me here against my will.
She is right.
Penny Parker is a free citizen of United States of America.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all women are created equal.
Yuri, you stay out of this.
Call me Biff, please.
You know, this is the most important day of my life, - and you're about to ruin it for me.
- Hold it! Everyone just hold it right here.
Hold what? Hello! Sorry, Pete.
You're not gonna believe this.
Yuri is missing.
I know.
He's right here.
Well, what's he doing there? Looking for the bathroom.
You two wait for me downstairs.
I'm sorry, Pete, what'd you say? I said, do you want me to send the limo over for Yuri? So I'm real excited about going to this audition.
I think I'm gonna get it.
- Can I come with you? To look? - I don't know.
- Nice to see you again.
- Shut up.
Get in the van.
- Who are you? - You just get in the van.
You guys are the guys I saw in the garage.
In the back.
In the back.
What do you want? Well, come by here first.
I've got that newsbreak tape.
Maybe she can identify that guy.
Yeah, all right, fine.
We're on our way.
Just what is this all about? Would you shut her up? Drive the truck, Lyle.
I'll take care of the girl.
MacGyver, help! MacGyver! MacGyver--! Just keep quiet and you won't get hurt.
The problem was to follow them without their knowing I was following.
It's not easy tracking somebody in traffic, especially when they get a head start.
MacGyver's gonna come after us.
He's really terrific, and he's gonna find us.
Then he can help with the burial.
Now, shut up! Burial? I had to stay back far enough so they wouldn't spot me and try to lose me.
So they lost me.
As Patrick Henry once said, and I quote, "Give me liberty or give me death.
" I vote for death.
Look, I understand you undoubtedly had a deprived childhood, but this is a rotten way to act out your hostilities.
You want a sock stuffed in your mouth? - No.
- Then keep it shut.
- Come on.
- Don't touch me! - Right.
- Move it.
Move it! Why are you doing this? I mean, we didn't do anything.
I mean, my friend's only been in America two days.
What kind of impression do you think this makes? Lyle, we better hurry up.
We don't get into city hall with the cleaning crew at 4, we don't get in.
Did you ever know anything to be on time at city hall? No, but if we wanna stay alive, I suggest we be first.
Move it.
Move it.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
You're the one got your friend into this.
If you hadn't been noseying around our garage-- I promise I'm not gonna talk.
Sweetheart, you do nothing but talk.
I can't believe this.
I mean, I have a chance to do my first national commercial for new and improved Carob dishwashing detergent.
And if I don't get to my audition, my career could be ruined.
You ain't gonna be washing many dishes where you're going.
Where am I going? We're putting you on ice.
Nice, Lyle.
- You got it real cool in there.
- Yeah.
But I don't like the cold.
I mean, my lips turn blue and my nose starts running.
Don't be afraid, Penny Parker, I'll be with you.
All right, get in there.
Come on.
Yeah, sure.
How long you think it'll take them to freeze? Well, it took Derek 20 minutes.
Yeah, but he don't count.
We shot him first.
What is it? Brute strength wasn't gonna get them out of there.
Not with this lock.
And at 20 degrees below zero, a lot of things start happening to the human body.
I had maybe ten or 1 5 minutes before they'd go into low-temperature shock.
Funny place for a wheelchair, especially one that looks like it's been blown up.
But I could use some of the pieces.
Especially these magnesium wheels.
I've never been this cold in my entire life.
Oh, it's nothing compared to the winter in Russia.
Really? It's really colder in Russia? No, actually it's much colder here.
We're gonna die, aren't we? No, no, no, no.
Keep moving.
We'll stay warm.
We'll be okay.
The warmth of your smile lights up my heart.
That's so beautiful.
It is, isn't it? Magnesium alloy.
Comes in real handy for heating things fast, especially if it's tucked inside an iron pipe.
You start with some old rags for wadding, just like loading one of those frontier muskets.
Difference is this musket was still in the process of being invented.
The barrel wasn't forged, the breech didn't exist, and I wanted it to burn, not blow.
This magnesium didn't give me any guarantees either way.
Penny Parker, why so quiet? I think my tongue's frozen.
Keep moving it.
Basic law of physics says that when something gets hot, it expands.
In fancy terms it's called the coefficient of volumetric expansion.
Or, to put it more simply: What gets hot, gets bigger.
And hopefully pops the lock open.
H i.
How did you? - Where did you? - We almost froze to death.
If you hadn't saved us, we would have been a couple of Popsicles.
It's like you say, almost cooked gooses.
Yeah, right.
Just keep moving, okay? Keep yourself moving.
Those men, they were really awful.
They killed that man I saw on TV.
He's in there, with the fish.
Penny, these really awful men, did they happen to say where they were going? They said something about city hall at 4.
Yes, and they are part of the cleaning crew.
Yeah, something tells me they don't do windows.
I wish I knew what they were up to.
Voice activation test.
One, two, three.
You see that, Vince? When we get that tape recording with Estevez talking - What is this? - got this baby so it reacts only-- Looks like some kind of detonating device.
And it seems to be voice-activated.
For a bomb? Yeah, a bomb.
They're gonna kill Estevez, and they're gonna use his own voice to do it.
At city hall.
Come on.
Estevez, I'm Peter Thornton, handling security.
Would you go right in, please? Stay with him.
They're all clear.
Good afternoon, Mr.
My people have been over the whole building.
- Security's tight as a drum.
- Good.
Good work, Thornton.
I'm concerned about my number one man, Derek, though.
He's not here, he hasn't reported in, and that's not like him.
We don't need these guns.
The bomb's gonna blow just fine, and we'll make a nice, clean getaway.
Maybe you're right, but I just like having a little insurance.
You mean if Mr.
Estevez begins speaking, he'll be killed? Yeah, along with everyone else within 50 feet of the bomb.
Oh, my gosh.
Let's move it.
We got five minutes to set up.
Okay, let's go.
Over there.
I know we've been over the whole building, but I want you to check again.
- Every exit and every entran-- - Pete! That's all right.
They're with me.
Where have you been? - We're looking for a bomb.
- A bomb? Someone's after Estevez.
We don't have much time.
Call headquarters.
Get a bomb squad down here right away.
You two wait here.
I don't know how anyone could have gotten a bomb in here.
Does a wheelchair make sense? John Larson uses a wheelchair.
I walked him in myself.
It's gonna blow as soon as Estevez opens his mouth.
- It's voice-activated.
Where is he? - Upstairs.
Estevez will be standing right next to Larson when the bomb goes off.
MacGyver saved me twice.
It's time I help MacGyver.
Let's go.
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, Mr.
Estevez's appearance here this afternoon signals a new level of cooperation between our two countries.
Now, before you ask any questions, Mr.
Estevez would like to make a brief statement regarding his appearance before the grand jury later this afternoon.
Excuse me.
Don't let him say a word! It's a voice-activated bomb! Take him out, now! I can't get a clean shot.
Look! A gun! - Get him.
Okay, buddy.
- Hold it! - It's all over.
- No, you don't.
Do you feel lucky? Make room.
Clear it, bomb squad.
All right, get it out of here.
All in a day's work, huh? All right, move it! Okay, make way.
Clear the exit.
- Come on! Move it! - Out of the way! - Coming through.
- MacGyver.
- Everybody all right? - Yeah, fine.
Listen, thanks.
It was good work.
Yeah, actually, the credit goes to Penny.
And Biff.
And, listen, I'm really sorry I got you all into this.
Don't you worry.
This is work Dirty Harry couldn't have done better.
Dirty Harry? Yuri loves American cinema.
But if life in America's like this, who needs the movies? It's true.
All you really need is Penny Parker.