Mad About You s04e16 Episode Script
Do Me a Favor
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Boo! [Gasp.]
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Yaaah! [Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Just forget it.
* tell me why * * i love you like i do * * tell me who * * can stop my heart as much as you * * let's take each other's hand * * as we jump into * * the final frontier * * i'm mad about you, baby ** I thought we were having breakfast together.
We are.
How's my blouse? It's great.
It's perfect.
You don't think it's too flippant? To tell you the truth, I don't think it's flippant.
It's not flippant.
A bit glib, perhaps, But i think you want that.
Should you be futzing with that? I know what i'm doing.
Look.
This little button Snaps out the whole polaroid mechanism electronically.
I had it a second ago.
Be careful with that.
I will.
Ow! Ow! Ow! You broke it? Maybe i did, maybe i didn't.
It's nice they give you expensive equipment to play with.
Well, i know what i'm doing.
Here we go.
Eggs, toast, home fries, and steak.
Steak for breakfast.
Have you read a paper in the last 20 years? It's all right once in a while.
At least we're having a meal together.
You're a wonderful person.
Where are you going? I'm out of time.
You eat it.
You're not going to eat? I don't eat that.
I thought we were going to talk.
So let's talk.
All right.
So, uh Anyway What? So, uh, ira and iris, They're hot and heavy again now.
What? I said How does she look? So you heard me.
She looks great.
The same, a little older.
They're perfect for each other.
Wouldn't it be great if it worked out? You bet.
Why? I thought you liked her.
No.
I said "you bet.
" "You bet"? You bet.
You bet.
You said it's not worth it.
What did you say? I wasn't even talking to you.
How's this? That's a shirt i would take you very seriously in.
Would you do me a gigantic favor? I'm eating.
If you were doug berkus, would you do me a gigantic favor? Brockwell's boy? How big a favor? Recommend me to brockwell So brockwell will recommend me to the mayor To be chairperson of the "fun city" committee.
Would you do me that favor? Undo one button.
Yes, i would.
You don't think that's really going to work, do you? What? That "fun city" committee, Convincing people afraid to come to new york That it's really safe? Why not? 'Cause it's not? Well, i want it, and the only way i'll get it Is if berkus does this big favor for me with brockwell.
Big favor? Enormous.
Undo another button.
And a little egg for the madame.
Mm-Mm-Mmm.
I'd forgotten what a good kisser you are.
I didn't kiss this good three years ago.
Oh, sure, you did.
All right.
So, how's the egg? It looks perfect.
Like you like 'em runny on the inside, crispy on the edge.
You're a good man.
I told you that three years ago.
Then you didn't call for two.
Could somebody close this? I can.
'Cause you know who i am, don't you? [Together.]
the strongest man in the world.
There you go.
Thank you.
I can't believe how beautiful she got.
I did that.
Yeah, i see.
Did you do me that favor? What favor? The picture.
What picture? Ira, you promised her You'd get that autographed picture of the mayor.
I'm teasing you.
It's done.
I talked you paulie.
He talked to james.
She's counting on it.
Do i ever make a promise that i cannot keep? Not the old ira, the new ira.
If i can chair that committee, I can have influence over policy, And that will affect legislation.
And then what? I don't know.
Boy, everything is so political.
It's city hall.
I know, but it's so It's so political.
See you at lunch.
Oh, please don't forget the picture.
What picture? The favor for ira.
Yes, the giuliani picture.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Hey, what happened to breakfast together? It was a nice thought.
You know, iris and ira are back together again.
Well? The zoom on this thing, it's unbelievable.
I'm looking at a guy on 19th street, In his apartment, stuffing an owl.
Is it dead? I hope to god.
Did james get the picture of giuliani? Today.
It should be today.
I got to have it next time i see sophie.
O.
K.
, you will.
[Sniffing.]
Did you have steak? What are you, part wolf? As a matter of fact, i didthis morning.
For breakfast? Paulie, i'm impressed.
I'm working my way backwards through the day.
For dinner, i'm having corn flakes.
I wouldn't futz with that.
I'm not futzing.
Yeah.
You're saying today on the picture? I asked you to do me a little favor.
I'll get it.
I'm begging you.
This guy loves that owl.
Oh, yeah, i know that, larry.
Uh-Huh.
Yes, i know that.
Uh-Huh.
Oh, yes.
I understand that, larry.
Yeah.
How much? I hate this game.
You never pay me.
Come on.
You never pay me! Put it on my tab.
I don't know if i can do that, larry.
Why? Because it's just not doable.
All right, larry? That would be Larry.
I am so sick and tired of people asking for favors.
take.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
That's what i like about you, jamie.
You're not a favor person.
That's also why you'll never succeed in politics.
If you ever want anything, you have to play the favor game.
Actually, i have one favor I'm not doing any favors for you.
Do you know why? Because you don't owe me.
Bingo.
We just played the favor game, and you lost.
You won't believe how many calls i've had On this "fun city" committee.
Everybody wants their guy to be chairman.
It's so political.
I had a thought about that.
You got somebody to recommend? [Intercom buzzes.]
Korean embassy, line 2.
I got to take this.
Can we talk later? You want to have lunch? I have a lunch meeting with brockwell.
Maybe a drink after work? I can't.
Paul and i Paul? Oh.
Paul.
Right.
O.
K.
Well, another time.
O.
K.
I chickened out.
How much do i hate me right now? I used to be so brave.
I'm a shell of my former self.
You'll go back, you'll ask him again.
It's what i come up with when he says no and smiles.
He won't say no.
No? No one will do a better job than you.
Who works like you do at city hall? You can't fight city hall Because people like you, they fight right back.
It's just so awkward asking him for a favor.
It's like you're standing there naked, All the artifice stripped away.
You're looking at this all wrong.
Imagine him naked.
He's not doing you the favor.
I'm doing him a favor.
Imagine himnaked.
Imagine himnaked.
Imagine him naked.
Imagine him naked.
Not for so long.
I don't need to do that.
So what else? Honey, your lens is in the hummus.
Hey.
You know what? I don't think it can hurt this camera.
This camera is unbelievable.
The zoom, it's so powerful.
This afternoon, from across broadway, I saw inside a cabdriver's ear.
Look at this.
I don't want to look at it.
You can see right in his eustachian tube.
It's very gross.
You think that's gross, wait till you see where is this? If he wants to play that game, I just have to play it better.
Exactly what you have to do.
While you're doing that, Ask him about ira's favor.
Ira's favor has to get in line behind my favor.
That's understood.
I don't want it to become a big deal.
It won't.
I just don't think we should make no deal about it.
We won't.
Let's make a small deal.
I will.
O.
K.
, here's a guy six blocks away, And he's walking a pomeranian Or a huge rat.
Put the camera away.
We look like tourists.
All right.
It's unbelievable.
Wow.
Look at this.
What? Your little friends from the office Lance and what's-His-Namedoug and some other guy.
Lance and doug? Where? They're in an alley in vermont.
That is some zoom.
Let me see.
One second.
One second.
Arthur here has conducted an informal, anonymous poll.
The city council will support you.
What about the borough presidents? Pretty much.
Brooklyn? Yes.
Queens? No.
The bronx? Undecided.
Staten island? Staten island wants to secede.
Wow.
We shouldn't be talking like this.
If rudy even saw us together He'd have our heads on a silver platter.
God, i love politics.
It's sopolitical.
You needed the best campaign manager.
Arthur is the best.
We should thank rudy for firing him.
Next time rudy fires someone, He'd better have a good reason.
Well, arthur, you were indicted, but Ah Oh! Hot [Camera shutter clicking.]
I burned the roof of my mouth.
Here's a napkin.
Oh, thanks.
This guy's going to be mayor? Why would lance be in an alley eating a geero? Gyro.
Geero.
It's gyro.
A greek person told me geero.
Ira always told me gyro.
Then case closed.
I don't even think it's them.
Really? Oh, my god.
It's definitely them.
Mm-Hmm.
By the waygyro.
Who's this other guy? I've seen him somewhere.
What is lance doing? That, i believe, is the expression you make When hot lamb shoots out of your mouth.
[Ira.]
here we go.
Lunch is on.
I thought we were doing chinese.
Yeah, but But you said chinese.
There was a line.
These are terrific sandwiches.
But you swore chinese.
I know.
You're doing it again.
What? I'm doing what? This morning, we talked And you said you wanted chinese.
You said you wanted sandwiches.
These are terrific.
We committed to chinese.
What are we talking about? Was it a promise or not? Oh ho ho Let me ask you a question.
When i didn't call you two years ago, How come you didn't just call me? Shut up.
Hey, ira.
Sophie, i didn't forget about that picture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ira.
What? Where is it? I'm getting it.
You don't have it.
I'm getting it.
Sweetie, you'll get it in about two years.
You'll get it right now.
And you know why? Why? Because the new ira don't mess around.
I'll be back.
[Knock knock.]
Oh, great.
You're here.
Doug, i just need to say some Double or nothing.
Let me say this.
I think i'd make a terrific chairperson For the "fun city" committee.
Ha ha ha ha! Ah, you kill me.
I would do a great job.
I know it's a big favor.
It's not a big favor.
It's a gigantic favor.
It's an enormous favor.
It's the favor that ate cleveland.
I get it.
This isn't about who'd do the best job.
It's not? No.
You know who'd do that.
Me.
Of course.
You're great, but this is about power Raw powerwho has it and who wants it.
Do you know who has it right now? Not me? Right.
Me.
Know who else has it? Not me? Right.
Lance.
He'll make the actual decision.
You know who else has it? Not not me again? Yes.
Me? Not you.
Basically, everybody but you.
Lance will take your recommendation.
Of course he will.
Do you know why? Because he owes you a favor? Exactly, and this is a system that runs on favors.
I hate it, but what can i do? Buck the system? Yeah, right.
All right.
Tell you what I'll shoot you for it.
What? If i get it in, i get the job.
Come on.
Seriously What are you, chicken? All right.
Go ahead.
Nice try.
Two out of three.
No.
Jamie, i can't.
Please, don't hate me.
I don't hate you.
And because i'm a bigger man than you, I'm giving you my ideas for the "fun city" committee.
What's this? It's a little present from paul.
I thought you and lance might enjoy it.
Arthur, we got a problem here.
I think we're being blackmailed.
Well, put arthur on.
Who took this? Buchman's husband.
What's his name? Paul.
Paul what? Buchman.
His name is buchman, too? Yes.
Nowadays, often the women keep their maiden names.
You never heard of that? Yes, yes.
I wonder what they want.
I don't know.
I can make one phone call.
No.
No phone calls.
No phone calls? Not even one? None.
Come on.
One little phone call.
No.
You realize what that picture could do to us? Yes.
Let me handle it.
I think i can keep brockwell out of it.
You've handled it so far.
Look where it's got us.
I'm asking you as a favor.
All right But you owe me one.
You know what we did in the old days When something like this came up? What? We made a phone call.
Picture, picture, picture.
I got the picture.
You got the picture? Where is it? You're getting it tomorrow.
I ask you to do a little favor.
You said it's no problem.
Jamie's taking care of it.
If i didn't think you could do it, I'd never have asked.
Have i mentioned, i'm getting it tomorrow? I never heard of a 9-Year-Old Who loves the mayor so much.
Forget the kid.
I'm working for the mother now.
[Telephone rings.]
This is so broken, it's unbelievable.
You futzed with it.
See what you can do.
Hello.
Paul, doug berkus.
Doug berkus? How are you? Ask him about the photo.
I'm calling about the picture.
You're calling about the picture.
Jamie was here.
We had a very interesting chat.
She's great, isn't she? Oh, the best.
If this is going to be too much of a problem Not necessarily.
Meet me this afternoon.
These kind of conversations over the phone Make me nervous.
I don't know why.
Want me to swing by your office? No.
There's this place.
You know where king crosses varrick? I can find that.
It's got to be autographed.
Are you with someone? It's just a friend.
Careful.
That's expensive.
Expensive? That's going to cost someone.
Not over the phone.
Meet me in half an hour.
O.
K.
Bye.
Why you got to be interrupting me? Do i get my picture? Jamie came through.
You owe me.
Here.
I fixed it.
All right.
So we're even.
[Television plays.]
Doug.
How are you? O.
K.
So Foul? Foul? You must be blind.
Let's keep this short.
Ah, short it is.
You are blind, and you should die.
What do you want? Oh, it's not for me.
It's, uh She's a bright girl, And she loves politics, And she really wants this.
You're just being the good husband.
I'm, uho.
K.
Traveling! He took 14 steps.
Open your eyes.
You know, they don't actually hear you When you scream.
Let's talk business.
So, do you have it the picture? On me? You didn't bring it with you? It's in my office.
Are there any more? I only need one.
Hmm.
Well put.
Soso, um So you want to give it to jamie? You don't leave me much choice.
We'll consider the matter closed.
Jam it, baby! Jam it in his face! Who's playing? Oh, it's the, uh, harlem globetrotters.
I don't know how to fix it.
That's why i'm calling.
I'll be happy to hold.
It's unbelievable.
I was in the middle I'm home.
Boy, are you home.
You're not going to believe it.
Look what i did.
You futzed with it? I futzed with it.
Honey, i got it.
I thought i wouldn't get it, Then i got it.
Good for you.
Wow.
You got the chairman chairwomanperson Chairpersonship.
Political correctness ruined a nice moment.
We have anything to celebrate with? I'm sure we do.
That is good news.
Now that my stock is high all of a sudden, I can ask him for your picture.
Is cold duck champagne? You already asked him for the picture.
Who? Berkus.
He called.
He called.
Berkus.
You talked to berkus? He wanted me to meet him.
I go to this dive, and he acts like it's a big thing, Then he doesn't even bring the picture.
I never mentioned the picture.
Well, you must have.
No.
The only picture i mentioned Was the one you took.
The polaroid of him Him and lance and, uh This guy.
You know who this is? He's the only one of the three Who knows how to eat a gyro.
No.
This this is This is giuliani's campaign manager.
Giuliani fired him.
Giuliani fired this guy? I gave berkus this picture.
He must think Oh, my god.
What? Oh, my god.
What? Oh, my god! You have to tell me what.
I don't know what's you're talking about.
I think we just blackmailed my boss.
O.
K.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
[Jamie.]
of course, i had no idea.
No idea you thought we were using that picture To get a favor out of you.
It was a mistake.
People make mistakes, doug.
Is it doug or douglas? No one's going to believe it.
Doug.
Lance really isn't going to believe it.
He'll laugh.
He'll have a big, hearty, throaty laugh.
A chortle, really.
Uhno.
This discussion can't leave this office.
I don't want this assignment If i didn't get it on merit.
What's the difference? I'll resign.
Sweetie.
Jamie.
What? Do me a favor.
Anything.
Do the man a favor.
Keep the job.
Keep the job.
And whatever you do, don't say anything to anybody.
You can survive blackmail in politics, But you cannot survive your own stupidity.
So you're asking me To cover up your stupidity? Yes.
Would you? As a favor? I get it.
This is fun.
See, he's signing it himself.
Usually it's a machine.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
Mayor, i owe you a big favor.
Know why i hate politics, sweetheart? I don't even know who you are.
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Boo! [Gasp.]
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Yaaah! [Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
[Hiccup.]
Just forget it.
* tell me why * * i love you like i do * * tell me who * * can stop my heart as much as you * * let's take each other's hand * * as we jump into * * the final frontier * * i'm mad about you, baby ** I thought we were having breakfast together.
We are.
How's my blouse? It's great.
It's perfect.
You don't think it's too flippant? To tell you the truth, I don't think it's flippant.
It's not flippant.
A bit glib, perhaps, But i think you want that.
Should you be futzing with that? I know what i'm doing.
Look.
This little button Snaps out the whole polaroid mechanism electronically.
I had it a second ago.
Be careful with that.
I will.
Ow! Ow! Ow! You broke it? Maybe i did, maybe i didn't.
It's nice they give you expensive equipment to play with.
Well, i know what i'm doing.
Here we go.
Eggs, toast, home fries, and steak.
Steak for breakfast.
Have you read a paper in the last 20 years? It's all right once in a while.
At least we're having a meal together.
You're a wonderful person.
Where are you going? I'm out of time.
You eat it.
You're not going to eat? I don't eat that.
I thought we were going to talk.
So let's talk.
All right.
So, uh Anyway What? So, uh, ira and iris, They're hot and heavy again now.
What? I said How does she look? So you heard me.
She looks great.
The same, a little older.
They're perfect for each other.
Wouldn't it be great if it worked out? You bet.
Why? I thought you liked her.
No.
I said "you bet.
" "You bet"? You bet.
You bet.
You said it's not worth it.
What did you say? I wasn't even talking to you.
How's this? That's a shirt i would take you very seriously in.
Would you do me a gigantic favor? I'm eating.
If you were doug berkus, would you do me a gigantic favor? Brockwell's boy? How big a favor? Recommend me to brockwell So brockwell will recommend me to the mayor To be chairperson of the "fun city" committee.
Would you do me that favor? Undo one button.
Yes, i would.
You don't think that's really going to work, do you? What? That "fun city" committee, Convincing people afraid to come to new york That it's really safe? Why not? 'Cause it's not? Well, i want it, and the only way i'll get it Is if berkus does this big favor for me with brockwell.
Big favor? Enormous.
Undo another button.
And a little egg for the madame.
Mm-Mm-Mmm.
I'd forgotten what a good kisser you are.
I didn't kiss this good three years ago.
Oh, sure, you did.
All right.
So, how's the egg? It looks perfect.
Like you like 'em runny on the inside, crispy on the edge.
You're a good man.
I told you that three years ago.
Then you didn't call for two.
Could somebody close this? I can.
'Cause you know who i am, don't you? [Together.]
the strongest man in the world.
There you go.
Thank you.
I can't believe how beautiful she got.
I did that.
Yeah, i see.
Did you do me that favor? What favor? The picture.
What picture? Ira, you promised her You'd get that autographed picture of the mayor.
I'm teasing you.
It's done.
I talked you paulie.
He talked to james.
She's counting on it.
Do i ever make a promise that i cannot keep? Not the old ira, the new ira.
If i can chair that committee, I can have influence over policy, And that will affect legislation.
And then what? I don't know.
Boy, everything is so political.
It's city hall.
I know, but it's so It's so political.
See you at lunch.
Oh, please don't forget the picture.
What picture? The favor for ira.
Yes, the giuliani picture.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Hey, what happened to breakfast together? It was a nice thought.
You know, iris and ira are back together again.
Well? The zoom on this thing, it's unbelievable.
I'm looking at a guy on 19th street, In his apartment, stuffing an owl.
Is it dead? I hope to god.
Did james get the picture of giuliani? Today.
It should be today.
I got to have it next time i see sophie.
O.
K.
, you will.
[Sniffing.]
Did you have steak? What are you, part wolf? As a matter of fact, i didthis morning.
For breakfast? Paulie, i'm impressed.
I'm working my way backwards through the day.
For dinner, i'm having corn flakes.
I wouldn't futz with that.
I'm not futzing.
Yeah.
You're saying today on the picture? I asked you to do me a little favor.
I'll get it.
I'm begging you.
This guy loves that owl.
Oh, yeah, i know that, larry.
Uh-Huh.
Yes, i know that.
Uh-Huh.
Oh, yes.
I understand that, larry.
Yeah.
How much? I hate this game.
You never pay me.
Come on.
You never pay me! Put it on my tab.
I don't know if i can do that, larry.
Why? Because it's just not doable.
All right, larry? That would be Larry.
I am so sick and tired of people asking for favors.
take.
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
That's what i like about you, jamie.
You're not a favor person.
That's also why you'll never succeed in politics.
If you ever want anything, you have to play the favor game.
Actually, i have one favor I'm not doing any favors for you.
Do you know why? Because you don't owe me.
Bingo.
We just played the favor game, and you lost.
You won't believe how many calls i've had On this "fun city" committee.
Everybody wants their guy to be chairman.
It's so political.
I had a thought about that.
You got somebody to recommend? [Intercom buzzes.]
Korean embassy, line 2.
I got to take this.
Can we talk later? You want to have lunch? I have a lunch meeting with brockwell.
Maybe a drink after work? I can't.
Paul and i Paul? Oh.
Paul.
Right.
O.
K.
Well, another time.
O.
K.
I chickened out.
How much do i hate me right now? I used to be so brave.
I'm a shell of my former self.
You'll go back, you'll ask him again.
It's what i come up with when he says no and smiles.
He won't say no.
No? No one will do a better job than you.
Who works like you do at city hall? You can't fight city hall Because people like you, they fight right back.
It's just so awkward asking him for a favor.
It's like you're standing there naked, All the artifice stripped away.
You're looking at this all wrong.
Imagine him naked.
He's not doing you the favor.
I'm doing him a favor.
Imagine himnaked.
Imagine himnaked.
Imagine him naked.
Imagine him naked.
Not for so long.
I don't need to do that.
So what else? Honey, your lens is in the hummus.
Hey.
You know what? I don't think it can hurt this camera.
This camera is unbelievable.
The zoom, it's so powerful.
This afternoon, from across broadway, I saw inside a cabdriver's ear.
Look at this.
I don't want to look at it.
You can see right in his eustachian tube.
It's very gross.
You think that's gross, wait till you see where is this? If he wants to play that game, I just have to play it better.
Exactly what you have to do.
While you're doing that, Ask him about ira's favor.
Ira's favor has to get in line behind my favor.
That's understood.
I don't want it to become a big deal.
It won't.
I just don't think we should make no deal about it.
We won't.
Let's make a small deal.
I will.
O.
K.
, here's a guy six blocks away, And he's walking a pomeranian Or a huge rat.
Put the camera away.
We look like tourists.
All right.
It's unbelievable.
Wow.
Look at this.
What? Your little friends from the office Lance and what's-His-Namedoug and some other guy.
Lance and doug? Where? They're in an alley in vermont.
That is some zoom.
Let me see.
One second.
One second.
Arthur here has conducted an informal, anonymous poll.
The city council will support you.
What about the borough presidents? Pretty much.
Brooklyn? Yes.
Queens? No.
The bronx? Undecided.
Staten island? Staten island wants to secede.
Wow.
We shouldn't be talking like this.
If rudy even saw us together He'd have our heads on a silver platter.
God, i love politics.
It's sopolitical.
You needed the best campaign manager.
Arthur is the best.
We should thank rudy for firing him.
Next time rudy fires someone, He'd better have a good reason.
Well, arthur, you were indicted, but Ah Oh! Hot [Camera shutter clicking.]
I burned the roof of my mouth.
Here's a napkin.
Oh, thanks.
This guy's going to be mayor? Why would lance be in an alley eating a geero? Gyro.
Geero.
It's gyro.
A greek person told me geero.
Ira always told me gyro.
Then case closed.
I don't even think it's them.
Really? Oh, my god.
It's definitely them.
Mm-Hmm.
By the waygyro.
Who's this other guy? I've seen him somewhere.
What is lance doing? That, i believe, is the expression you make When hot lamb shoots out of your mouth.
[Ira.]
here we go.
Lunch is on.
I thought we were doing chinese.
Yeah, but But you said chinese.
There was a line.
These are terrific sandwiches.
But you swore chinese.
I know.
You're doing it again.
What? I'm doing what? This morning, we talked And you said you wanted chinese.
You said you wanted sandwiches.
These are terrific.
We committed to chinese.
What are we talking about? Was it a promise or not? Oh ho ho Let me ask you a question.
When i didn't call you two years ago, How come you didn't just call me? Shut up.
Hey, ira.
Sophie, i didn't forget about that picture.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ira.
What? Where is it? I'm getting it.
You don't have it.
I'm getting it.
Sweetie, you'll get it in about two years.
You'll get it right now.
And you know why? Why? Because the new ira don't mess around.
I'll be back.
[Knock knock.]
Oh, great.
You're here.
Doug, i just need to say some Double or nothing.
Let me say this.
I think i'd make a terrific chairperson For the "fun city" committee.
Ha ha ha ha! Ah, you kill me.
I would do a great job.
I know it's a big favor.
It's not a big favor.
It's a gigantic favor.
It's an enormous favor.
It's the favor that ate cleveland.
I get it.
This isn't about who'd do the best job.
It's not? No.
You know who'd do that.
Me.
Of course.
You're great, but this is about power Raw powerwho has it and who wants it.
Do you know who has it right now? Not me? Right.
Me.
Know who else has it? Not me? Right.
Lance.
He'll make the actual decision.
You know who else has it? Not not me again? Yes.
Me? Not you.
Basically, everybody but you.
Lance will take your recommendation.
Of course he will.
Do you know why? Because he owes you a favor? Exactly, and this is a system that runs on favors.
I hate it, but what can i do? Buck the system? Yeah, right.
All right.
Tell you what I'll shoot you for it.
What? If i get it in, i get the job.
Come on.
Seriously What are you, chicken? All right.
Go ahead.
Nice try.
Two out of three.
No.
Jamie, i can't.
Please, don't hate me.
I don't hate you.
And because i'm a bigger man than you, I'm giving you my ideas for the "fun city" committee.
What's this? It's a little present from paul.
I thought you and lance might enjoy it.
Arthur, we got a problem here.
I think we're being blackmailed.
Well, put arthur on.
Who took this? Buchman's husband.
What's his name? Paul.
Paul what? Buchman.
His name is buchman, too? Yes.
Nowadays, often the women keep their maiden names.
You never heard of that? Yes, yes.
I wonder what they want.
I don't know.
I can make one phone call.
No.
No phone calls.
No phone calls? Not even one? None.
Come on.
One little phone call.
No.
You realize what that picture could do to us? Yes.
Let me handle it.
I think i can keep brockwell out of it.
You've handled it so far.
Look where it's got us.
I'm asking you as a favor.
All right But you owe me one.
You know what we did in the old days When something like this came up? What? We made a phone call.
Picture, picture, picture.
I got the picture.
You got the picture? Where is it? You're getting it tomorrow.
I ask you to do a little favor.
You said it's no problem.
Jamie's taking care of it.
If i didn't think you could do it, I'd never have asked.
Have i mentioned, i'm getting it tomorrow? I never heard of a 9-Year-Old Who loves the mayor so much.
Forget the kid.
I'm working for the mother now.
[Telephone rings.]
This is so broken, it's unbelievable.
You futzed with it.
See what you can do.
Hello.
Paul, doug berkus.
Doug berkus? How are you? Ask him about the photo.
I'm calling about the picture.
You're calling about the picture.
Jamie was here.
We had a very interesting chat.
She's great, isn't she? Oh, the best.
If this is going to be too much of a problem Not necessarily.
Meet me this afternoon.
These kind of conversations over the phone Make me nervous.
I don't know why.
Want me to swing by your office? No.
There's this place.
You know where king crosses varrick? I can find that.
It's got to be autographed.
Are you with someone? It's just a friend.
Careful.
That's expensive.
Expensive? That's going to cost someone.
Not over the phone.
Meet me in half an hour.
O.
K.
Bye.
Why you got to be interrupting me? Do i get my picture? Jamie came through.
You owe me.
Here.
I fixed it.
All right.
So we're even.
[Television plays.]
Doug.
How are you? O.
K.
So Foul? Foul? You must be blind.
Let's keep this short.
Ah, short it is.
You are blind, and you should die.
What do you want? Oh, it's not for me.
It's, uh She's a bright girl, And she loves politics, And she really wants this.
You're just being the good husband.
I'm, uho.
K.
Traveling! He took 14 steps.
Open your eyes.
You know, they don't actually hear you When you scream.
Let's talk business.
So, do you have it the picture? On me? You didn't bring it with you? It's in my office.
Are there any more? I only need one.
Hmm.
Well put.
Soso, um So you want to give it to jamie? You don't leave me much choice.
We'll consider the matter closed.
Jam it, baby! Jam it in his face! Who's playing? Oh, it's the, uh, harlem globetrotters.
I don't know how to fix it.
That's why i'm calling.
I'll be happy to hold.
It's unbelievable.
I was in the middle I'm home.
Boy, are you home.
You're not going to believe it.
Look what i did.
You futzed with it? I futzed with it.
Honey, i got it.
I thought i wouldn't get it, Then i got it.
Good for you.
Wow.
You got the chairman chairwomanperson Chairpersonship.
Political correctness ruined a nice moment.
We have anything to celebrate with? I'm sure we do.
That is good news.
Now that my stock is high all of a sudden, I can ask him for your picture.
Is cold duck champagne? You already asked him for the picture.
Who? Berkus.
He called.
He called.
Berkus.
You talked to berkus? He wanted me to meet him.
I go to this dive, and he acts like it's a big thing, Then he doesn't even bring the picture.
I never mentioned the picture.
Well, you must have.
No.
The only picture i mentioned Was the one you took.
The polaroid of him Him and lance and, uh This guy.
You know who this is? He's the only one of the three Who knows how to eat a gyro.
No.
This this is This is giuliani's campaign manager.
Giuliani fired him.
Giuliani fired this guy? I gave berkus this picture.
He must think Oh, my god.
What? Oh, my god.
What? Oh, my god! You have to tell me what.
I don't know what's you're talking about.
I think we just blackmailed my boss.
O.
K.
I wouldn't have guessed that.
[Jamie.]
of course, i had no idea.
No idea you thought we were using that picture To get a favor out of you.
It was a mistake.
People make mistakes, doug.
Is it doug or douglas? No one's going to believe it.
Doug.
Lance really isn't going to believe it.
He'll laugh.
He'll have a big, hearty, throaty laugh.
A chortle, really.
Uhno.
This discussion can't leave this office.
I don't want this assignment If i didn't get it on merit.
What's the difference? I'll resign.
Sweetie.
Jamie.
What? Do me a favor.
Anything.
Do the man a favor.
Keep the job.
Keep the job.
And whatever you do, don't say anything to anybody.
You can survive blackmail in politics, But you cannot survive your own stupidity.
So you're asking me To cover up your stupidity? Yes.
Would you? As a favor? I get it.
This is fun.
See, he's signing it himself.
Usually it's a machine.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
I owe you one.
Mayor, i owe you a big favor.
Know why i hate politics, sweetheart? I don't even know who you are.