Magical Girl Friendship Squad (2020) s01e06 Episode Script
Just Two Weak Girls
1
Go, go, go, go! ♪
DAISY:
I don't miss Nut at all.
- I don't miss her the most.
- She lied to us.
She said we were "fated"
to be her guardians,
when really she picked us
'cause we seemed like
we had nothing better to do.
You know, I don't miss her, and
I don't mind missing breakfast,
since she isn't around
to make us double-decker
pancake sandwiches.
- I'm not even hungry.
- [stomach growling]
My stomach is growling
with rage.
I'll just eat something at work.
- What?
- At Aggregon?
You're still working there
after that whole
"them trying to kill us
with mutant egg monsters" thing?
Verus wants
to reform the company.
This is my opportunity
to do something good,
even without Nut.
Okay, but it's not actually
that great an opportunity
if the universe blows up, right?
How do we even know
that's happening?
Nut lied to us once.
Alex, are you serious right now?
You're that desperate
for approval
that you'll let Verus
brainwash you?
Screw you! At least
I'm trying to do something
instead of sitting on the couch
complaining.
[sighs]
I'm gonna be late.
Hello. I come to you
with an important mission.
[shrieks]
A raccoon! [whimpers]
I created this universe
and everything in it.
Has anyone ever told you
you'd make a fabulous fur hat?
- Pinkachu!
- [sighs]
Hey, Doorman Dean.
Got you a latte
'cause I'm a big shot exec now.
Hmm. That's weird.
- [elevator bell dings]
- [Alex gasps]
Is this like a new
executive hazing thing?
Right on time for your first day.
That's what I like to see.
[gulps loudly]
This is fine.
Nut's gone, Alex is obsessed
with her new job,
I'm alone,
which is totally fine.
- [knocking]
- Oh, thank God. I was so lonely.
Hey, Lulu. Looking good.
I like what you've done
with your hair.
Have you see any wild animals
around the building?
No.
I got some report
about some kind of raccoon.
Um, I definitely 100%
have not seen anything.
No animal for sure.
Great. You've been
incredibly unhelpful, as always.
Stupid raccoon could have
gone anywhere,
but she had to come here,
and now I have to deal with it?
"She could have gone anywhere,
but she came here."
- Nut.
- Daisy.
- You look well.
- And yourself.
I'm sorry for freaking out.
I am sorry for lying to you.
It might not have been
our destiny to protect you,
but it's our job now,
and I'm not gonna give up.
Thank you, Daisy.
Let's call Alex.
She's probably bored
as hell at work
without me G-Chatting her
a steady stream of dank memes.
- [phone buzzing]
- Answer, and I kill him.
What's up?
No answer.
She must still be mad.
I was kind of a bitch about her
taking the promotion with Verus.
Alex is with Verus?
Yeah. Why?
Verus and I have a history.
[laughing] What?
You guys used to date?
If Verus is aware of Alex
and her role as my guardian,
Alex is in dire trouble.
We have to save her.
Oh! We need a key card
to get in!
Like this one?
Amazing coat, judgmental eyes.
[sniffing]
Chalamet for Men cologne?
You're Alex's old boss.
Until Verus fired me
to give Alex my job.
But she didn't count on this.
- Why are you helping us?
- Because it's the right thing to do.
Also, I'm starting to suspect
Verus isn't going to bring me
to a new universe
when this one gets destroyed.
It's okay, buddy.
I'll draw the femutations' fire
while you two run for it!
It's the least I can do
as a noble double agent
for the forces of good.
Good luck.
Ooh! Aah! Yeah!
- It's, uh, good to see you.
- You, too.
- I wanted to text. I was just
- Shut up.
I thought you could use
a little extra incentive
to turn against our friend Nut.
If you don't do as I say,
your boyfriend will die!
Oh, he's-he's not my
I mean, we've only been on
two dates.
Like, the stakes probably aren't
as high here as you wanted.
I mean, I'd be sad if you died.
- I'd be sad if you died.
- Really?
Enough stalling.
Reject Nut and place the final
crystal now, or I kill him.
If you obey me,
I will spare you both.
So you're telling me
I have to choose
between a future with this guy
I've been on two dates with,
or the entire universe,
including all my friends
and everyone I've ever met?
He is really tall.
[elevator bell dings]
Nut! Daisy!
I am so sorry, you guys.
You were right about Verus.
She dude-napped coffee dude.
- Do you not know my name?
- Not the time, buddy.
Right on time,
just as I planned.
I know you couldn't resist
rescuing
your precious guardian Nut.
Now I have the pleasure
of making you watch me wreck
your favorite universe.
What is her beef with you anyway?
- We used to date.
- [all gasp]
I knew it!
[clears throat]
Without further ado
Now that the collection
is complete,
he should be arriving
any minute.
NUT: Of course, because you do
not possess sufficient power
to complete your plan
without him.
Him? Who is "him"?
The only being who could actually
destroy entire universes
the Emptier.
♪
VERUS: Your Emptiness,
I have completed our work
on Earth,
and its creator is here for you
to personally annihilate.
Excellent!
I am pleased with your servitude.
- She dumped you to work for him?
- It is complicated.
It is not complicated.
Verus knew
that I could offer her access
to a power greater
than any other!
- Like solar power?
- No, idiot! The power
of destruction.
Once the rotation reaches
terminal velocity,
this entire universe will be sucked
into itself like a black hole, and
there's nothing you can do about it.
[laughs]
Classic Emptier move here.
- [elevator bell dings]
- Verus,
I've tricked the Creator
and led her right to you.
I've been a double double agent
this whole time!
[grunts]
Disregard that.
I'm actually a double,
double, double agent.
Alex, Daisy, if you climb the
chandelier and reach the Emptier,
perhaps you can stop
the rotation.
I will deal with Verus.
[magical tinkling]
All the men before me
swollen with sin ♪
Scrape the earth
rude and clean ♪
Ground to till,
air to breathe ♪
With missteps for no one ♪
When we drew this ♪
I can't believe this
is the worst bad guy
in the whole omniverse.
- I heard that.
- Good.
- I wanted you to.
- Birth control.
I. U. Deploy!
This thing on?
I got you, girl.
Bong Selleck,
blast that douche
with a smoke stream!
Until I've had ♪
What the hell?
These janky-ass
magical objects are broken.
Ever since we found out Nut
gave us these powers randomly,
it's felt less cool.
- Is it us?
- No, it's him, male gaze motherfucker.
[cackling]
You can't stop the rotation.
You're not magical.
You're just
two weak girls.
You do not need to do this,
Verus.
Deep down, I know you are good.
You loved me once.
You never understood,
did you, Nut?
You were fine being
a happy-go-lucky world creator,
and you didn't care
that it made you weak.
Now you're a defenseless
little panda,
but I can make anything I want.
Holy shit.
This is the worst promotion ever!
It did not have to be this way.
We still could have been friends.
Don't be stupid!
The Emptier needed me
to renounce such ridiculous
notions as love and friendship.
Girls, your friendship!
The Emptier cannot block
your love for each other.
- Uh
- Nah.
DAISY:
You're about to be killed
by your giant snake ex-girlfriend
unless the universe is destroyed first.
I really don't think love is gonna do it.
Plus, it sounds
super cheesy.
- Yup, they're right.
- Just try it.
What are we supposed to do
braid each other's hair
in his direction?
Just try something!
Okay, since we're probably
about to die anyway.
I really like being
your roommate, Daisy.
I love how, when I fall asleep
watching Real Housewives
on the couch,
you put a blanket on me
when you come home
from a sex party six hours later.
I love you, Alex.
I love your mom music
and your vision boards.
I love that you forgave me for
stealing your fancy moisturizer
and using it as lube.
Holy crap!
This cheesy shit is actually working!
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Hell yeah!
Our friendship is
the best friendship.
You wish you could connect
like this.
- BOTH: I love you!
- [whooshing]
I'll teach her
to give me a fake promotion.
["Emotion" by Q'ulle playing]
[growling]
Verus!
[growls]
♪
- [Daisy yelling]
- [grunting]
[cackling]
[grunts]
[Verus laughs]
[growls]
[both grunt]
[cackling]
[grunting]
[gasps]
[Alex laughs softly]
[Daisy yelling]
[Verus growls]
[panting]
[grunting]
[groaning, panting]
[grunting]
- [Alex gasps]
- [Verus chuckles]
[both grunting]
- [Alex groans]
- Ah, boo
I may be a helpless red panda,
but I will always protect
Alex and Daisy.
And where is your ally?
You have pushed away anyone
who matters to you.
First me, now Corvin.
And after all you have
sacrificed for him,
I do not see the Emptier
protecting you right now.
Saying Corvin ever mattered
to me is a bit of a stretch.
Hurtful.
Verus, dispose
of these obstacles.
[grunting]
- [Nut whimpers]
- [Verus growls]
[both groaning]
- [Verus cackling]
- [shrieks]
- Whoa.
- [cackling continues]
[grunting]
[Verus groans]
Girls, now!
[Verus yelling]
[yelling]
A portal. She escaped
to another universe.
- And him?
- I fear the Emptier will be back, too,
but we are safe for now.
- Oh!
- That was super intense.
Jesus.
I forgot you were still here.
You better not try
to take the credit this time.
That was all us three.
Well, four. Obviously,
I got inside Verus's head
with my corporate espionage.
Really don't think so.
Nut, I can't believe you didn't
tell us Verus was your ex.
- It simply did not come up.
- She's so hot.
You know, in, like, an evil way.
Of course in an evil way,
like Megan Fox.
Did she ever turn into a snake
when you guys were doing it?
I will not dignify these
questions with a response.
- That's a "yes."
- Oh, shit. Getting that snake tail. [hissing]
You like that, don't you?
Go, go, go, go! ♪
DAISY:
I don't miss Nut at all.
- I don't miss her the most.
- She lied to us.
She said we were "fated"
to be her guardians,
when really she picked us
'cause we seemed like
we had nothing better to do.
You know, I don't miss her, and
I don't mind missing breakfast,
since she isn't around
to make us double-decker
pancake sandwiches.
- I'm not even hungry.
- [stomach growling]
My stomach is growling
with rage.
I'll just eat something at work.
- What?
- At Aggregon?
You're still working there
after that whole
"them trying to kill us
with mutant egg monsters" thing?
Verus wants
to reform the company.
This is my opportunity
to do something good,
even without Nut.
Okay, but it's not actually
that great an opportunity
if the universe blows up, right?
How do we even know
that's happening?
Nut lied to us once.
Alex, are you serious right now?
You're that desperate
for approval
that you'll let Verus
brainwash you?
Screw you! At least
I'm trying to do something
instead of sitting on the couch
complaining.
[sighs]
I'm gonna be late.
Hello. I come to you
with an important mission.
[shrieks]
A raccoon! [whimpers]
I created this universe
and everything in it.
Has anyone ever told you
you'd make a fabulous fur hat?
- Pinkachu!
- [sighs]
Hey, Doorman Dean.
Got you a latte
'cause I'm a big shot exec now.
Hmm. That's weird.
- [elevator bell dings]
- [Alex gasps]
Is this like a new
executive hazing thing?
Right on time for your first day.
That's what I like to see.
[gulps loudly]
This is fine.
Nut's gone, Alex is obsessed
with her new job,
I'm alone,
which is totally fine.
- [knocking]
- Oh, thank God. I was so lonely.
Hey, Lulu. Looking good.
I like what you've done
with your hair.
Have you see any wild animals
around the building?
No.
I got some report
about some kind of raccoon.
Um, I definitely 100%
have not seen anything.
No animal for sure.
Great. You've been
incredibly unhelpful, as always.
Stupid raccoon could have
gone anywhere,
but she had to come here,
and now I have to deal with it?
"She could have gone anywhere,
but she came here."
- Nut.
- Daisy.
- You look well.
- And yourself.
I'm sorry for freaking out.
I am sorry for lying to you.
It might not have been
our destiny to protect you,
but it's our job now,
and I'm not gonna give up.
Thank you, Daisy.
Let's call Alex.
She's probably bored
as hell at work
without me G-Chatting her
a steady stream of dank memes.
- [phone buzzing]
- Answer, and I kill him.
What's up?
No answer.
She must still be mad.
I was kind of a bitch about her
taking the promotion with Verus.
Alex is with Verus?
Yeah. Why?
Verus and I have a history.
[laughing] What?
You guys used to date?
If Verus is aware of Alex
and her role as my guardian,
Alex is in dire trouble.
We have to save her.
Oh! We need a key card
to get in!
Like this one?
Amazing coat, judgmental eyes.
[sniffing]
Chalamet for Men cologne?
You're Alex's old boss.
Until Verus fired me
to give Alex my job.
But she didn't count on this.
- Why are you helping us?
- Because it's the right thing to do.
Also, I'm starting to suspect
Verus isn't going to bring me
to a new universe
when this one gets destroyed.
It's okay, buddy.
I'll draw the femutations' fire
while you two run for it!
It's the least I can do
as a noble double agent
for the forces of good.
Good luck.
Ooh! Aah! Yeah!
- It's, uh, good to see you.
- You, too.
- I wanted to text. I was just
- Shut up.
I thought you could use
a little extra incentive
to turn against our friend Nut.
If you don't do as I say,
your boyfriend will die!
Oh, he's-he's not my
I mean, we've only been on
two dates.
Like, the stakes probably aren't
as high here as you wanted.
I mean, I'd be sad if you died.
- I'd be sad if you died.
- Really?
Enough stalling.
Reject Nut and place the final
crystal now, or I kill him.
If you obey me,
I will spare you both.
So you're telling me
I have to choose
between a future with this guy
I've been on two dates with,
or the entire universe,
including all my friends
and everyone I've ever met?
He is really tall.
[elevator bell dings]
Nut! Daisy!
I am so sorry, you guys.
You were right about Verus.
She dude-napped coffee dude.
- Do you not know my name?
- Not the time, buddy.
Right on time,
just as I planned.
I know you couldn't resist
rescuing
your precious guardian Nut.
Now I have the pleasure
of making you watch me wreck
your favorite universe.
What is her beef with you anyway?
- We used to date.
- [all gasp]
I knew it!
[clears throat]
Without further ado
Now that the collection
is complete,
he should be arriving
any minute.
NUT: Of course, because you do
not possess sufficient power
to complete your plan
without him.
Him? Who is "him"?
The only being who could actually
destroy entire universes
the Emptier.
♪
VERUS: Your Emptiness,
I have completed our work
on Earth,
and its creator is here for you
to personally annihilate.
Excellent!
I am pleased with your servitude.
- She dumped you to work for him?
- It is complicated.
It is not complicated.
Verus knew
that I could offer her access
to a power greater
than any other!
- Like solar power?
- No, idiot! The power
of destruction.
Once the rotation reaches
terminal velocity,
this entire universe will be sucked
into itself like a black hole, and
there's nothing you can do about it.
[laughs]
Classic Emptier move here.
- [elevator bell dings]
- Verus,
I've tricked the Creator
and led her right to you.
I've been a double double agent
this whole time!
[grunts]
Disregard that.
I'm actually a double,
double, double agent.
Alex, Daisy, if you climb the
chandelier and reach the Emptier,
perhaps you can stop
the rotation.
I will deal with Verus.
[magical tinkling]
All the men before me
swollen with sin ♪
Scrape the earth
rude and clean ♪
Ground to till,
air to breathe ♪
With missteps for no one ♪
When we drew this ♪
I can't believe this
is the worst bad guy
in the whole omniverse.
- I heard that.
- Good.
- I wanted you to.
- Birth control.
I. U. Deploy!
This thing on?
I got you, girl.
Bong Selleck,
blast that douche
with a smoke stream!
Until I've had ♪
What the hell?
These janky-ass
magical objects are broken.
Ever since we found out Nut
gave us these powers randomly,
it's felt less cool.
- Is it us?
- No, it's him, male gaze motherfucker.
[cackling]
You can't stop the rotation.
You're not magical.
You're just
two weak girls.
You do not need to do this,
Verus.
Deep down, I know you are good.
You loved me once.
You never understood,
did you, Nut?
You were fine being
a happy-go-lucky world creator,
and you didn't care
that it made you weak.
Now you're a defenseless
little panda,
but I can make anything I want.
Holy shit.
This is the worst promotion ever!
It did not have to be this way.
We still could have been friends.
Don't be stupid!
The Emptier needed me
to renounce such ridiculous
notions as love and friendship.
Girls, your friendship!
The Emptier cannot block
your love for each other.
- Uh
- Nah.
DAISY:
You're about to be killed
by your giant snake ex-girlfriend
unless the universe is destroyed first.
I really don't think love is gonna do it.
Plus, it sounds
super cheesy.
- Yup, they're right.
- Just try it.
What are we supposed to do
braid each other's hair
in his direction?
Just try something!
Okay, since we're probably
about to die anyway.
I really like being
your roommate, Daisy.
I love how, when I fall asleep
watching Real Housewives
on the couch,
you put a blanket on me
when you come home
from a sex party six hours later.
I love you, Alex.
I love your mom music
and your vision boards.
I love that you forgave me for
stealing your fancy moisturizer
and using it as lube.
Holy crap!
This cheesy shit is actually working!
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Hell yeah!
Our friendship is
the best friendship.
You wish you could connect
like this.
- BOTH: I love you!
- [whooshing]
I'll teach her
to give me a fake promotion.
["Emotion" by Q'ulle playing]
[growling]
Verus!
[growls]
♪
- [Daisy yelling]
- [grunting]
[cackling]
[grunts]
[Verus laughs]
[growls]
[both grunt]
[cackling]
[grunting]
[gasps]
[Alex laughs softly]
[Daisy yelling]
[Verus growls]
[panting]
[grunting]
[groaning, panting]
[grunting]
- [Alex gasps]
- [Verus chuckles]
[both grunting]
- [Alex groans]
- Ah, boo
I may be a helpless red panda,
but I will always protect
Alex and Daisy.
And where is your ally?
You have pushed away anyone
who matters to you.
First me, now Corvin.
And after all you have
sacrificed for him,
I do not see the Emptier
protecting you right now.
Saying Corvin ever mattered
to me is a bit of a stretch.
Hurtful.
Verus, dispose
of these obstacles.
[grunting]
- [Nut whimpers]
- [Verus growls]
[both groaning]
- [Verus cackling]
- [shrieks]
- Whoa.
- [cackling continues]
[grunting]
[Verus groans]
Girls, now!
[Verus yelling]
[yelling]
A portal. She escaped
to another universe.
- And him?
- I fear the Emptier will be back, too,
but we are safe for now.
- Oh!
- That was super intense.
Jesus.
I forgot you were still here.
You better not try
to take the credit this time.
That was all us three.
Well, four. Obviously,
I got inside Verus's head
with my corporate espionage.
Really don't think so.
Nut, I can't believe you didn't
tell us Verus was your ex.
- It simply did not come up.
- She's so hot.
You know, in, like, an evil way.
Of course in an evil way,
like Megan Fox.
Did she ever turn into a snake
when you guys were doing it?
I will not dignify these
questions with a response.
- That's a "yes."
- Oh, shit. Getting that snake tail. [hissing]
You like that, don't you?