Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e06 Episode Script
Fragments
I get visions.
I actually see what's going to occur.
I saw my own murder, and you were in it.
It's not me.
It's you who's killed.
The only chance we have of altering the outcome of your vision is to confront it.
It's happening.
Laura! Oh, my God! It's not what it looks like.
It looks like you're hosting the telethon instead of me.
Don't be silly, Higgins.
I'm just in charge of security.
I know that, you know that, but the rest of the world thinks that you're Chairman of the Society for the Preservation of the Trisected Paolo Worm! You wouldn't know a trisected paolo worm if it bit you! They bite? No, they don't bite! They live in coral.
That's just my point.
What is? That no reporter could possibly mistake you for me, unless The day she interviewed me, you took her to lunch, didn't you? I think we may have had a bite at the club.
And then to dinner? Yeah, we did go to Nick's.
And then you I did not! Then how do you explain this? I don't know.
It's just a simple mistake.
I'll call Tara Miss Talbot, and have her print a retraction.
Immediately.
If not sooner.
Oh, sorry, Mr.
Magnum.
Jonathan, we are getting frightfully behind in the auditions.
Mary Lou! Mary Lou! Come back here.
Sorry, folks.
Come here, Mary Lou.
Sorry, folks.
Mary Lou! Ever since she did that Happy Wiener commercial, she hates to audition.
Come on, Mary Lou! Mary Lou! Except for you, of course.
She'll audition for you, honey.
Mary Lou! Mary Lou! I'm terribly sorry.
No, that's great.
That's great, but you got the wrong guy, see? Higgins is doing the auditions.
Very good, though.
I told you the newspaper made a mistake.
He's doing the auditioning, not me.
It's just a big mistake.
I'm not him.
I liked the idea of having my picture in the paper, until I got my picture in the paper.
Hi, shorty.
Hi.
Now, I was the target of every aspiring performer on the island.
If they could do bird calls, juggle dishes, or do a handstand, they were doing it for me.
Well, after a morning of it, I can almost tell you what their act was just by looking at them.
Mr.
Magnum? Look, the newspaper made a mistake.
I'm not doing the auditioning, Higgins is.
You'll find him in the study.
I'm sure he'll like your fortune-telling act.
How do you know that I tell fortunes? Well, I just felt like you did.
Do you? In a manner of speaking.
You have a unique gift, Mr.
Magnum.
Uh, thank you.
I came all the way from Mokuleia to see you.
Look, you don't understand.
There's a man inside, his name is Higgins, and he's doing the auditioning.
No, you don't understand.
I've come here to hire you as a private investigator.
Investigating what? My murder.
Like I said, Higgins is auditioning the acts.
This is no act.
I'm a psychic, and I have seen my own murder.
Look, no offense, Miss My name is Laura Bennett.
Hi.
No offense is taken, Mr.
Magnum.
Most people make the same mistake as you do.
Although one would hope that you would've been a little more understanding, as you obviously have psychic abilities of your own.
Right.
I see.
You only believe in your own little voices.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait.
Why did you call them my "little voices"? That's what they are, aren't they? Little feelings, ideas, hunches that come at the most unexpected moments.
Is that what happened to you? You got this feeling that someone was going to try and kill you? No.
I get visions.
I actually see what's going to occur.
And this morning when I was reading about the telethon, I saw my own murder, and you were in it.
I know, I I should have approached you with some lie about chasing an errant husband, and then gradually eased into the truth, but I don't have the time.
I was in your vision? Yes.
But you were too late, and I'm hoping we can change that.
My visions almost always come true in some form, and I would like to change the outcome of this one.
Well, I've gotta go wrap up a case.
But, we could meet in a couple of hours at the King Kamehameha Club.
Say, 3:00? Yes.
Thank you.
Well, I didn't say I'd take your case, but we can talk about it a little more.
Am I going to take your case? My little voice was warning me to take Laura's story with a healthy dose of skepticism.
Here I was doubting her because of my little voice.
Only Laura didn't have a little voice, or a funny feeling.
She had visions.
And that's taking psychic phenomenon a bit too far for me.
I think.
Oh, gosh, I know what it is to doubt.
Golly, only last year, the real estate people lied to me about everything when I bought a new home.
The roof, the plumbing, even the size of the yard.
Gosh, I know You can't trust anyone anymore.
And that's why I'm going to insist that you take a test-drive, before you even consider putting out $2,995 for this little beauty.
What's the blue book on that model, Archie? I'll tell you what.
Come on, kids.
Why don't you just take that test-drive all by yourselves.
Well, don't you have to come along? Oh, no, no, no.
I trust you.
Just shift her nice and easy, huh? Hey, see how she started right up? That engine hasn't been turned over in a month.
Well, what about the smoke? Smoke? What smoke? Oh, that.
That's a little carbon.
It's normal in this model.
Especially when she's in racing tune.
Okay, go! Shift easy.
That's a fine-tuned mechanism, not a tank! A fine-tuned mechanism? What do you want, Magnum? $633.
I'll forget the 85 cents.
I'll pay you as soon as I can.
Right now, I'm tapped out.
I'm broke.
Divorce does that to you.
I checked it out, Archie.
You got more than enough in the bank to pay me what you owe me.
You had no right to snoop into my affairs.
You hired me to follow your wife.
Racing tune? Ex-wife, and I ain't talking about Thelma, I'm talking about the bank.
I thought that they weren't allowed to tell you how much money people had in their accounts.
They aren't.
Well, then how do you Oh, you know, you're a very sneaky person, Magnum.
Do you know that? That's why I'm such a good private investigator.
Now, Archie, you have the photographs that I took of Thelma and Eddie.
I want my money.
Tomorrow.
In cash.
Tomorrow? Okay.
All right.
Tomorrow.
I shifted into third and something went clunk.
Then there was this sort of explosion, like a grenade going off, and a lot more black smoke.
I don't think we're interested.
Well, it is a second-hand vehicle.
Okay, young man, I want you to pick a card.
Pick any card.
Well, look away.
Okay.
Do you have the card? Yep.
Will you put it back into the deck? Is it in? Now, you know it's in.
Only T.
C.
's divine wisdom can ascertain which card you picked.
Which card did you pick? Nine of hearts.
Absolutely right! Wait a minute.
Wait a sec.
Hi, you guys.
Hey.
Is there a Laura Bennett looking for me? Table six, the end of the patio.
Pick a card, young man.
Pick any card! Higgins is doing the auditions.
Oh.
You didn't have my card.
Of course I did.
Hi.
Listen, I'm sorry I'm late.
I just Laura? Laura? He's drowning.
Where? By a lighthouse, above a road.
Where is he? All right, the paramedics are on their way.
He's a little waterlogged, but still breathing.
Take it easy, kid.
You okay, partner? He's gonna be all right.
Well, that was when I was six.
And then, I didn't have another vision until I was about 10.
I saw the house next door to ours burning down.
I ran out, it was fine.
Burned down the next day.
Wow.
Yeah, wow.
I thought I'd caused it.
That's one of the first things you have to try and get over, feeling guilty about what you see.
Have you? Not exactly.
That's why when something good happens, like today, it balances everything out.
Hey, you know, you could She could tell me who's gonna win the World Series, the Kentucky Derby, the Super Bowl and If I could, we'd all be millionaires.
No, I can't just conjure up the visions.
They come on their own.
Too bad, Rick.
Yeah, I knew there'd be a hitch.
Say, look, you said you work for the police, but how can you do that if you can't just conjure up a vision? They give me an item from the case.
An item? Yes.
Right now I'm working on a missing persons' file with Five-O, and they've given me a shoe that was dropped by the victim when she was abducted.
Oh.
I think she's I think she's in a railroad car.
There aren't any railroads in Honolulu.
If I gave you a bunch of stuff from athletes, you think maybe you can get a feeling and tell me who's gonna win? Rick? What sort of stuff? Well, socks, hats, jocks Rick! Jockey silks.
Come on.
Come on, Rick.
I got a sunset flight past Diamond Head, and your dinner crowd is coming in.
Let's go, buddy.
I'm not uncouth.
I mean, I would have said athletic supporter.
T.
C: See you, Thomas.
Bye, guys.
You three were in Vietnam together, weren't you? How'd you know that? Well, you're all wearing a ring with a French Croix on it, and T.
C.
's cap has got "Da Nang".
Simple deduction.
I wish finding my murderer was that simple.
Well, don't worry.
I mean, we're gonna figure it out.
See, I think that whoever it is is connected to one of your cases.
Now, this missing persons thing, is there any ransom note or leads? No.
Nothing.
Well, what other cases are you working on? Well, I'm on a retainer from Lloyds of London to find a missing bottle of wine that they've insured.
Well, I think we can safely dismiss petty theft.
It's worth over a quarter of a million dollars.
For a bottle of wine? This particular bottle was found in Hitler's bunker after he died.
It's a 1936 Lafite Rothschild with a swastika under the date.
But that's not the point.
See, the Who was it stolen from? I don't know.
It's not important to me to know who owned the bottle.
What did Lloyds tell you? They showed me a rosewood box that held the bottle, they showed me a photograph of the bottle, and they showed me a photograph of a house.
Well, mansion.
I concentrate on those three things.
And? Well, nothing yet.
Well, I have a feeling that the bottle is still on the Islands.
Well, we've gotta find the owner of that bottle of wine.
That's difficult.
Not really.
A 1936 Lafite Rothschild with a swastika.
That one is owned by the Barrow syndicate.
Although it hasn't really been a syndicate since Reilly O'Shane took it over in '69.
He was rather ruthless in cutting out the other members, but what can one expect from an elderly Irishman with rumored underworld connections? Aha! Aha? What are you up to, Magnum? That bottle of wine was stolen.
Did you know that? No.
How awful.
About four months ago.
That's why Lloyds of London hired me.
You're a detective? No, I'm a psychic.
Oh.
Of course.
Nice try, Magnum, but your fortune-telling friend cannot be on my telethon.
Higgins, Laura is not here to audition.
She is a client.
She's just said Lloyds hired her.
They did.
And then, I hired Thomas to find out who's trying to kill me.
Someone is trying to kill you over a bottle of wine? Of course, it is a rare bottle.
Oh, come on, Higgins.
I think this someone is this O'Shane character.
I mean, maybe he even stole his own bottle of wine.
Maybe he even drank it himself.
Unthinkable.
He wants to collect the insurance money.
He doesn't want Laura here to psychic-out what happened.
A rather interesting premise.
Thank you very much.
Only, Reilly O'Shane died six months ago.
Send in the next interview, Agatha.
Jonathan, I think you should come out here first.
Agatha, we're way behind schedule.
Just send in the next he, she, or it.
I haven't been able to find a single act worthy of going on the air, and it's all your fault.
My fault? Yes.
Your face is attracting the most unusual talent.
Hi.
We're the Kuhio Street Four, here to sing for Big Daddy.
You see? The newspaper made a mistake.
That's Big Daddy.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and I'm going on a manhunt Turning around Jonathan! Poor Higgins.
Well, what now? Well, why don't you spend the night with me? Well, I mean, you'd be much safer here.
Honest.
I know that, Thomas.
As a matter of fact, why don't you pick up some clothes tomorrow and spend the next few nights here? Uh, days here.
Laura was asleep within five minutes.
It took me a little longer.
In fact, I didn't sleep at all.
It wasn't the couch.
It was my little voice.
It was working overtime trying to tell me something I couldn't quite grasp.
The next morning, I had to collect my fee from Archie, and all the way downtown my little voice just kept whispering, only it was too low to hear exactly what.
This was my car.
I used to take my sweet, little grandmother out for Sunday drives around the island.
Oh, we had such good times.
Picnicking together, going to swap meets.
We were awfully close, you know.
Ever since my mother ran away with that vacuum cleaner salesman when I was five.
Oh.
I love this car.
But, gosh darn it, every time I drive it, it reminds me of the day I had to drive her to the rest home.
You poor man.
You told me your grandmother owns a used car lot in Des Moines.
I'll be right with you.
Why don't you Why don't you take it out for a little On second thought, just slide underneath the wheel there.
Get a feel for the vehicle.
Go ahead.
I'll be right back, okay? Why do you do that to me? Oh, it's hard not to, Archie.
You're so unethical.
That's not unethical.
That is creative salesmanship.
Well, what do you think the Better Business Bureau would call it? I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Tom, I really don't.
I like you, but the way you treat me, it's hard sometimes.
You don't have the money.
You see what I mean? That's what I mean.
No faith.
You don't have the money! I warned you.
I told you to I suppose you wanna count it, huh? No.
I'm sure it's all here.
Yeah, all $633.
And 85 cents.
And 85 cents.
That's right.
Well, can't say it's been a pleasure.
Finding out your wife is cheating with your best friend.
It's no fun.
But you did a good job and Well, I guess it's all for the best.
Archie, what I said about Forget it, pal.
We all make mistakes.
There he is.
Okay.
I won't say I was paranoid about Archie paying me, but I checked the bills twice to see if they were counterfeit.
And they weren't.
I guess it just proves that no one is predictable.
Not even a huckster.
Then it hit me.
Again.
That little nagging voice of mine, telling me to watch out.
I got a quick glimpse of the crazies on my tail.
It was all I needed.
I'd spent a couple of weeks tailing them.
It was Archie's ex-wife and her boyfriend, Eddie.
Faster! Look out! You, crazy haole! Cops! I don't care.
Get him! Watch it! Look out! No! Magnum! No, Kenny.
No, I can explain.
I was being chased by a couple of lunatics out there.
I know.
You okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
How did Divorce work can be kind of dangerous, huh, brah? Yeah, I got these two nuts that I'm involved Well, I guess they seem to be all right.
But how'd you know they're part of a divorce case? We got tipped.
A guy called in, said his ex-wife and her boyfriend trailed you from his used car lot.
Archie called you? Yeah, that was his name, Archie.
You know, Magnum, he may have saved your life.
The rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there O say, does that Star-spangled banner yet wave Over the land of the free And the home of the brave Uh That was the Well, it was quite Uh It was a most unusual rendition, dear.
I've never heard the Star-Spangled Banner sung in those keys.
Thank you.
It was very patriotic, dear.
I hope I get to sing for your telethon.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
We'll be in touch.
The retraction, where is it? I forgot.
You forgot? You forgot? I still don't have a single act for the telethon, and all you can say is, you forgot! Jonathan, how about a nice cup of tea? If the trisected paolo worm becomes extinct, it will all be your fault! I don't think you should feel totally responsible.
Well, I don't.
I don't feel in the least bit responsible.
Well, maybe a little bit responsible.
Laura, in your vision, you said there was a car.
What color was it? Yellow.
Yellow, I think.
Yes, the color's not too vivid in my vision.
No, that's close enough.
What kind of car was it? Cadillac.
I remember the hood ornament coming towards me.
No, not at you.
At me.
It just happened Oh, no.
It's beginning.
Yeah, well, whatever's beginning, it's happening to me, not you.
It was a couple from a divorce case I was working on.
Look, you said your visions started when you saw my photo in the paper.
Yes.
Well, what if it isn't you? What if it's someone out to get me? But I was shot.
What if you weren't shot? I mean, you said you thought the Cadillac was coming at you.
What else was in your vision? Well, just what I told you before, just fragments.
The The grave, the owl, the The man in the coffin.
The railroad car.
It's not a railroad car.
It's It's a deserted restaurant in an old sugar mill.
T.
C.
Knew of seven abandoned sugar mills on Oahu, but only one had once been a restaurant.
He flew us right to it.
Is this it? Five-O, this is helicopter Nine-Five-Alpha.
We are at the Malahona Sugar Mill.
Why don't you stay here with T.
C? That's the same sign as in my vision.
Laura? Laura, Laura? You were right.
It's not me.
It's you who's killed.
So much for Laura's missing person.
But despite the fact her latest vision had also been accurate, I convinced her no one was going to kill me.
Now, all I had to do was convince myself.
Run that by me again, please.
What good will it do? I don't know.
Well, I see the trees in a row and I see the leaves twisting in the wind.
Yet everything seems to feel dead.
I mean, that's the only way I can describe it.
And then, I see a man walking towards me on the path.
Do you see his face? No, I just see his body and the pistol in his hand.
What kind of pistol? Well, it's a snub-nose, .
32,.
38.
You know guns.
Well, yes, I've worked with the police a lot.
Get to know things like that.
But you never see his face? No.
Well, yes, when he shoots.
But that's only so I can tell that he's a man.
Go on.
Well, and then, I see the owl, and then I see your body on the ground.
You never see any other faces in your vision? No, just yours and the man in the coffin.
Coffin? Yeah, but he's decomposing.
Decomposing.
I've seen many dead bodies in my visions, but you get used to it.
No, you don't.
Is he so decomposed you couldn't identify him? No, not yet, but, I mean, I haven't the faintest idea who it is.
I think I do.
I'm in a race against the clock trying to save the trisected paolo worm, and you have me playing librarian.
I'm sorry we're inconveniencing you, Mr.
Higgins.
Don't apologize, please.
Higgins, we are talking about saving my life.
What is that compared to saving an entire species? Of worms? I rest my case.
Thomas, if you are right as to who's in the coffin, this may change the outcome of my vision.
Just because we know the where and the when of your vision, it doesn't mean we can necessarily control the what.
Does that make sense? Yes.
But we have to try.
I don't want to belabor the point, but I saw you killed.
No, no, no, you saw me shot.
Twice.
In the heart.
Aha! I knew we had a '76 copy of the Admiralty Club Annual somewhere, because Mr.
Masters and I raced the Lucky Lady in the Transpac that year.
Placed eighth overall.
Only eighth? I'm afraid so.
Of course, we lost our jib two days out, Mr.
Masters broke his arm when a whale rammed the boat, and I was out for two days with an attack of malaria.
Still, one shouldn't make excuses.
A whale rammed the boat? Yes.
It was two days before we reached Honolulu.
Just after four bells.
I was at the helm, even though my fever was 103.
I remember the night was moonlit, rather like the sea off the coast of Lisbon in June.
Higgins, the photo.
Quite.
I'm sure he's a member of the club, because he raced the Black Swan that year.
As illegally rigged a sloop as you'll ever find.
It was frightful the way that bounder cheated.
Ah, here it is.
Is this the man in the coffin? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Reilly O'Shane.
How did you know? Simple.
I mean, all of your visions have related to a case that I've worked on or that you've worked on.
So, it seemed logical that some fragment of one of your visions would relate to the missing bottle of wine, and Higgins said that O'Shane had died six months ago, and judging from the degree of decomposition that you described, it seemed possible that O'Shane was the body in the coffin.
It's simple.
Simple.
It's brilliant.
Or a lucky guess.
Would you care to guess where the wine is? I know where the wine is.
It's in the coffin.
He took it with him? How like the miserable sot.
I'm going to call Lloyds.
Their Honolulu office? No, London.
No, no No, it's all right, I'll reverse the charges.
Don't call there yet.
Magnum, a priceless bottle of Bordeaux is sitting in a coffin.
I don't think O'Shane is going to drink it.
Of course, six feet under would keep it at a constant temperature.
Oh, Higgins.
Fifty-seven degrees Fahrenheit here in the Islands.
Nearly perfect.
Higgins.
Unless it's not on its side.
I'm sure O'Shane placed it properly! How can we get it? Why don't we let the insurance company and the police know, and let them get the bottle? Laura.
The only chance we have of altering the outcome of your vision is to confront it head on.
And that's why you hired me.
I hate this.
I don't exactly love it.
What? Those trees, they're the ones in the vision.
I've always loved John O'Hara's story of the servant who saw death coming towards him in a Baghdad marketplace, so he fled to Samarra, only to learn that it was there that death had an appointment with him.
Thomas.
Laura felt I had an appointment in Samarra.
I had to find out if she was right.
Higgins said all the O'Shanes are buried here.
Damn! I don't need it.
He's buried here.
It's happening.
Laura! Thomas! Thomas! It's over, Archie.
I still don't understand why? Well, it's quite simple.
See, Archie wanted to get even with Eddie for stealing Thelma, but he didn't wanna hurt Thelma because he still loved her.
But he also knew how angry Thelma was at me for catching her and Eddie fooling around.
So.
He simply let Thelma find out when and where he was gonna pay me for my services rendered, knowing that she would talk Eddie into giving me some nasty lumps.
Then he calls the cops in time to save me from the lumps, but get Thelma and Eddie's assault on record.
Then he snuffs Eddie, puts him in the trunk, and follows me, and is gonna make it look like Eddie shot me and I shot Eddie.
It was brilliant.
Man, you've been hanging around Higgins too long.
No, no, no, see, it's quite simple.
Whoa, whoa, I withdraw the question.
Thank you.
Come in! Hello.
Hi! Oh.
Goodness, what's that? You're making it for the Guinness Book of Records or for the telethon? Well, it's just a little snack.
Oh, yeah, the telethon.
I wonder what kind of talent Higgie found.
None.
He's reading poetry.
No, Agatha's reading poetry.
You are the only hope And they've only collected $53.
the trisected paolo worm has.
And now, another reading of Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem.
Ozymandias.
I met a traveler from an antique land Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert Near them on the sand You're really terrific! I'm gonna get the jockey silk, the glove, the balls Wait, wait, wait! How did it come to you? In a vision.
Wow! Television.
I was watching it in the main house.
I actually see what's going to occur.
I saw my own murder, and you were in it.
It's not me.
It's you who's killed.
The only chance we have of altering the outcome of your vision is to confront it.
It's happening.
Laura! Oh, my God! It's not what it looks like.
It looks like you're hosting the telethon instead of me.
Don't be silly, Higgins.
I'm just in charge of security.
I know that, you know that, but the rest of the world thinks that you're Chairman of the Society for the Preservation of the Trisected Paolo Worm! You wouldn't know a trisected paolo worm if it bit you! They bite? No, they don't bite! They live in coral.
That's just my point.
What is? That no reporter could possibly mistake you for me, unless The day she interviewed me, you took her to lunch, didn't you? I think we may have had a bite at the club.
And then to dinner? Yeah, we did go to Nick's.
And then you I did not! Then how do you explain this? I don't know.
It's just a simple mistake.
I'll call Tara Miss Talbot, and have her print a retraction.
Immediately.
If not sooner.
Oh, sorry, Mr.
Magnum.
Jonathan, we are getting frightfully behind in the auditions.
Mary Lou! Mary Lou! Come back here.
Sorry, folks.
Come here, Mary Lou.
Sorry, folks.
Mary Lou! Ever since she did that Happy Wiener commercial, she hates to audition.
Come on, Mary Lou! Mary Lou! Except for you, of course.
She'll audition for you, honey.
Mary Lou! Mary Lou! I'm terribly sorry.
No, that's great.
That's great, but you got the wrong guy, see? Higgins is doing the auditions.
Very good, though.
I told you the newspaper made a mistake.
He's doing the auditioning, not me.
It's just a big mistake.
I'm not him.
I liked the idea of having my picture in the paper, until I got my picture in the paper.
Hi, shorty.
Hi.
Now, I was the target of every aspiring performer on the island.
If they could do bird calls, juggle dishes, or do a handstand, they were doing it for me.
Well, after a morning of it, I can almost tell you what their act was just by looking at them.
Mr.
Magnum? Look, the newspaper made a mistake.
I'm not doing the auditioning, Higgins is.
You'll find him in the study.
I'm sure he'll like your fortune-telling act.
How do you know that I tell fortunes? Well, I just felt like you did.
Do you? In a manner of speaking.
You have a unique gift, Mr.
Magnum.
Uh, thank you.
I came all the way from Mokuleia to see you.
Look, you don't understand.
There's a man inside, his name is Higgins, and he's doing the auditioning.
No, you don't understand.
I've come here to hire you as a private investigator.
Investigating what? My murder.
Like I said, Higgins is auditioning the acts.
This is no act.
I'm a psychic, and I have seen my own murder.
Look, no offense, Miss My name is Laura Bennett.
Hi.
No offense is taken, Mr.
Magnum.
Most people make the same mistake as you do.
Although one would hope that you would've been a little more understanding, as you obviously have psychic abilities of your own.
Right.
I see.
You only believe in your own little voices.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait.
Why did you call them my "little voices"? That's what they are, aren't they? Little feelings, ideas, hunches that come at the most unexpected moments.
Is that what happened to you? You got this feeling that someone was going to try and kill you? No.
I get visions.
I actually see what's going to occur.
And this morning when I was reading about the telethon, I saw my own murder, and you were in it.
I know, I I should have approached you with some lie about chasing an errant husband, and then gradually eased into the truth, but I don't have the time.
I was in your vision? Yes.
But you were too late, and I'm hoping we can change that.
My visions almost always come true in some form, and I would like to change the outcome of this one.
Well, I've gotta go wrap up a case.
But, we could meet in a couple of hours at the King Kamehameha Club.
Say, 3:00? Yes.
Thank you.
Well, I didn't say I'd take your case, but we can talk about it a little more.
Am I going to take your case? My little voice was warning me to take Laura's story with a healthy dose of skepticism.
Here I was doubting her because of my little voice.
Only Laura didn't have a little voice, or a funny feeling.
She had visions.
And that's taking psychic phenomenon a bit too far for me.
I think.
Oh, gosh, I know what it is to doubt.
Golly, only last year, the real estate people lied to me about everything when I bought a new home.
The roof, the plumbing, even the size of the yard.
Gosh, I know You can't trust anyone anymore.
And that's why I'm going to insist that you take a test-drive, before you even consider putting out $2,995 for this little beauty.
What's the blue book on that model, Archie? I'll tell you what.
Come on, kids.
Why don't you just take that test-drive all by yourselves.
Well, don't you have to come along? Oh, no, no, no.
I trust you.
Just shift her nice and easy, huh? Hey, see how she started right up? That engine hasn't been turned over in a month.
Well, what about the smoke? Smoke? What smoke? Oh, that.
That's a little carbon.
It's normal in this model.
Especially when she's in racing tune.
Okay, go! Shift easy.
That's a fine-tuned mechanism, not a tank! A fine-tuned mechanism? What do you want, Magnum? $633.
I'll forget the 85 cents.
I'll pay you as soon as I can.
Right now, I'm tapped out.
I'm broke.
Divorce does that to you.
I checked it out, Archie.
You got more than enough in the bank to pay me what you owe me.
You had no right to snoop into my affairs.
You hired me to follow your wife.
Racing tune? Ex-wife, and I ain't talking about Thelma, I'm talking about the bank.
I thought that they weren't allowed to tell you how much money people had in their accounts.
They aren't.
Well, then how do you Oh, you know, you're a very sneaky person, Magnum.
Do you know that? That's why I'm such a good private investigator.
Now, Archie, you have the photographs that I took of Thelma and Eddie.
I want my money.
Tomorrow.
In cash.
Tomorrow? Okay.
All right.
Tomorrow.
I shifted into third and something went clunk.
Then there was this sort of explosion, like a grenade going off, and a lot more black smoke.
I don't think we're interested.
Well, it is a second-hand vehicle.
Okay, young man, I want you to pick a card.
Pick any card.
Well, look away.
Okay.
Do you have the card? Yep.
Will you put it back into the deck? Is it in? Now, you know it's in.
Only T.
C.
's divine wisdom can ascertain which card you picked.
Which card did you pick? Nine of hearts.
Absolutely right! Wait a minute.
Wait a sec.
Hi, you guys.
Hey.
Is there a Laura Bennett looking for me? Table six, the end of the patio.
Pick a card, young man.
Pick any card! Higgins is doing the auditions.
Oh.
You didn't have my card.
Of course I did.
Hi.
Listen, I'm sorry I'm late.
I just Laura? Laura? He's drowning.
Where? By a lighthouse, above a road.
Where is he? All right, the paramedics are on their way.
He's a little waterlogged, but still breathing.
Take it easy, kid.
You okay, partner? He's gonna be all right.
Well, that was when I was six.
And then, I didn't have another vision until I was about 10.
I saw the house next door to ours burning down.
I ran out, it was fine.
Burned down the next day.
Wow.
Yeah, wow.
I thought I'd caused it.
That's one of the first things you have to try and get over, feeling guilty about what you see.
Have you? Not exactly.
That's why when something good happens, like today, it balances everything out.
Hey, you know, you could She could tell me who's gonna win the World Series, the Kentucky Derby, the Super Bowl and If I could, we'd all be millionaires.
No, I can't just conjure up the visions.
They come on their own.
Too bad, Rick.
Yeah, I knew there'd be a hitch.
Say, look, you said you work for the police, but how can you do that if you can't just conjure up a vision? They give me an item from the case.
An item? Yes.
Right now I'm working on a missing persons' file with Five-O, and they've given me a shoe that was dropped by the victim when she was abducted.
Oh.
I think she's I think she's in a railroad car.
There aren't any railroads in Honolulu.
If I gave you a bunch of stuff from athletes, you think maybe you can get a feeling and tell me who's gonna win? Rick? What sort of stuff? Well, socks, hats, jocks Rick! Jockey silks.
Come on.
Come on, Rick.
I got a sunset flight past Diamond Head, and your dinner crowd is coming in.
Let's go, buddy.
I'm not uncouth.
I mean, I would have said athletic supporter.
T.
C: See you, Thomas.
Bye, guys.
You three were in Vietnam together, weren't you? How'd you know that? Well, you're all wearing a ring with a French Croix on it, and T.
C.
's cap has got "Da Nang".
Simple deduction.
I wish finding my murderer was that simple.
Well, don't worry.
I mean, we're gonna figure it out.
See, I think that whoever it is is connected to one of your cases.
Now, this missing persons thing, is there any ransom note or leads? No.
Nothing.
Well, what other cases are you working on? Well, I'm on a retainer from Lloyds of London to find a missing bottle of wine that they've insured.
Well, I think we can safely dismiss petty theft.
It's worth over a quarter of a million dollars.
For a bottle of wine? This particular bottle was found in Hitler's bunker after he died.
It's a 1936 Lafite Rothschild with a swastika under the date.
But that's not the point.
See, the Who was it stolen from? I don't know.
It's not important to me to know who owned the bottle.
What did Lloyds tell you? They showed me a rosewood box that held the bottle, they showed me a photograph of the bottle, and they showed me a photograph of a house.
Well, mansion.
I concentrate on those three things.
And? Well, nothing yet.
Well, I have a feeling that the bottle is still on the Islands.
Well, we've gotta find the owner of that bottle of wine.
That's difficult.
Not really.
A 1936 Lafite Rothschild with a swastika.
That one is owned by the Barrow syndicate.
Although it hasn't really been a syndicate since Reilly O'Shane took it over in '69.
He was rather ruthless in cutting out the other members, but what can one expect from an elderly Irishman with rumored underworld connections? Aha! Aha? What are you up to, Magnum? That bottle of wine was stolen.
Did you know that? No.
How awful.
About four months ago.
That's why Lloyds of London hired me.
You're a detective? No, I'm a psychic.
Oh.
Of course.
Nice try, Magnum, but your fortune-telling friend cannot be on my telethon.
Higgins, Laura is not here to audition.
She is a client.
She's just said Lloyds hired her.
They did.
And then, I hired Thomas to find out who's trying to kill me.
Someone is trying to kill you over a bottle of wine? Of course, it is a rare bottle.
Oh, come on, Higgins.
I think this someone is this O'Shane character.
I mean, maybe he even stole his own bottle of wine.
Maybe he even drank it himself.
Unthinkable.
He wants to collect the insurance money.
He doesn't want Laura here to psychic-out what happened.
A rather interesting premise.
Thank you very much.
Only, Reilly O'Shane died six months ago.
Send in the next interview, Agatha.
Jonathan, I think you should come out here first.
Agatha, we're way behind schedule.
Just send in the next he, she, or it.
I haven't been able to find a single act worthy of going on the air, and it's all your fault.
My fault? Yes.
Your face is attracting the most unusual talent.
Hi.
We're the Kuhio Street Four, here to sing for Big Daddy.
You see? The newspaper made a mistake.
That's Big Daddy.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and I'm going on a manhunt Turning around Jonathan! Poor Higgins.
Well, what now? Well, why don't you spend the night with me? Well, I mean, you'd be much safer here.
Honest.
I know that, Thomas.
As a matter of fact, why don't you pick up some clothes tomorrow and spend the next few nights here? Uh, days here.
Laura was asleep within five minutes.
It took me a little longer.
In fact, I didn't sleep at all.
It wasn't the couch.
It was my little voice.
It was working overtime trying to tell me something I couldn't quite grasp.
The next morning, I had to collect my fee from Archie, and all the way downtown my little voice just kept whispering, only it was too low to hear exactly what.
This was my car.
I used to take my sweet, little grandmother out for Sunday drives around the island.
Oh, we had such good times.
Picnicking together, going to swap meets.
We were awfully close, you know.
Ever since my mother ran away with that vacuum cleaner salesman when I was five.
Oh.
I love this car.
But, gosh darn it, every time I drive it, it reminds me of the day I had to drive her to the rest home.
You poor man.
You told me your grandmother owns a used car lot in Des Moines.
I'll be right with you.
Why don't you Why don't you take it out for a little On second thought, just slide underneath the wheel there.
Get a feel for the vehicle.
Go ahead.
I'll be right back, okay? Why do you do that to me? Oh, it's hard not to, Archie.
You're so unethical.
That's not unethical.
That is creative salesmanship.
Well, what do you think the Better Business Bureau would call it? I don't know what I'm gonna do with you, Tom, I really don't.
I like you, but the way you treat me, it's hard sometimes.
You don't have the money.
You see what I mean? That's what I mean.
No faith.
You don't have the money! I warned you.
I told you to I suppose you wanna count it, huh? No.
I'm sure it's all here.
Yeah, all $633.
And 85 cents.
And 85 cents.
That's right.
Well, can't say it's been a pleasure.
Finding out your wife is cheating with your best friend.
It's no fun.
But you did a good job and Well, I guess it's all for the best.
Archie, what I said about Forget it, pal.
We all make mistakes.
There he is.
Okay.
I won't say I was paranoid about Archie paying me, but I checked the bills twice to see if they were counterfeit.
And they weren't.
I guess it just proves that no one is predictable.
Not even a huckster.
Then it hit me.
Again.
That little nagging voice of mine, telling me to watch out.
I got a quick glimpse of the crazies on my tail.
It was all I needed.
I'd spent a couple of weeks tailing them.
It was Archie's ex-wife and her boyfriend, Eddie.
Faster! Look out! You, crazy haole! Cops! I don't care.
Get him! Watch it! Look out! No! Magnum! No, Kenny.
No, I can explain.
I was being chased by a couple of lunatics out there.
I know.
You okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
How did Divorce work can be kind of dangerous, huh, brah? Yeah, I got these two nuts that I'm involved Well, I guess they seem to be all right.
But how'd you know they're part of a divorce case? We got tipped.
A guy called in, said his ex-wife and her boyfriend trailed you from his used car lot.
Archie called you? Yeah, that was his name, Archie.
You know, Magnum, he may have saved your life.
The rockets' red glare The bombs bursting in air Gave proof through the night That our flag was still there O say, does that Star-spangled banner yet wave Over the land of the free And the home of the brave Uh That was the Well, it was quite Uh It was a most unusual rendition, dear.
I've never heard the Star-Spangled Banner sung in those keys.
Thank you.
It was very patriotic, dear.
I hope I get to sing for your telethon.
Thank you.
Goodbye.
We'll be in touch.
The retraction, where is it? I forgot.
You forgot? You forgot? I still don't have a single act for the telethon, and all you can say is, you forgot! Jonathan, how about a nice cup of tea? If the trisected paolo worm becomes extinct, it will all be your fault! I don't think you should feel totally responsible.
Well, I don't.
I don't feel in the least bit responsible.
Well, maybe a little bit responsible.
Laura, in your vision, you said there was a car.
What color was it? Yellow.
Yellow, I think.
Yes, the color's not too vivid in my vision.
No, that's close enough.
What kind of car was it? Cadillac.
I remember the hood ornament coming towards me.
No, not at you.
At me.
It just happened Oh, no.
It's beginning.
Yeah, well, whatever's beginning, it's happening to me, not you.
It was a couple from a divorce case I was working on.
Look, you said your visions started when you saw my photo in the paper.
Yes.
Well, what if it isn't you? What if it's someone out to get me? But I was shot.
What if you weren't shot? I mean, you said you thought the Cadillac was coming at you.
What else was in your vision? Well, just what I told you before, just fragments.
The The grave, the owl, the The man in the coffin.
The railroad car.
It's not a railroad car.
It's It's a deserted restaurant in an old sugar mill.
T.
C.
Knew of seven abandoned sugar mills on Oahu, but only one had once been a restaurant.
He flew us right to it.
Is this it? Five-O, this is helicopter Nine-Five-Alpha.
We are at the Malahona Sugar Mill.
Why don't you stay here with T.
C? That's the same sign as in my vision.
Laura? Laura, Laura? You were right.
It's not me.
It's you who's killed.
So much for Laura's missing person.
But despite the fact her latest vision had also been accurate, I convinced her no one was going to kill me.
Now, all I had to do was convince myself.
Run that by me again, please.
What good will it do? I don't know.
Well, I see the trees in a row and I see the leaves twisting in the wind.
Yet everything seems to feel dead.
I mean, that's the only way I can describe it.
And then, I see a man walking towards me on the path.
Do you see his face? No, I just see his body and the pistol in his hand.
What kind of pistol? Well, it's a snub-nose, .
32,.
38.
You know guns.
Well, yes, I've worked with the police a lot.
Get to know things like that.
But you never see his face? No.
Well, yes, when he shoots.
But that's only so I can tell that he's a man.
Go on.
Well, and then, I see the owl, and then I see your body on the ground.
You never see any other faces in your vision? No, just yours and the man in the coffin.
Coffin? Yeah, but he's decomposing.
Decomposing.
I've seen many dead bodies in my visions, but you get used to it.
No, you don't.
Is he so decomposed you couldn't identify him? No, not yet, but, I mean, I haven't the faintest idea who it is.
I think I do.
I'm in a race against the clock trying to save the trisected paolo worm, and you have me playing librarian.
I'm sorry we're inconveniencing you, Mr.
Higgins.
Don't apologize, please.
Higgins, we are talking about saving my life.
What is that compared to saving an entire species? Of worms? I rest my case.
Thomas, if you are right as to who's in the coffin, this may change the outcome of my vision.
Just because we know the where and the when of your vision, it doesn't mean we can necessarily control the what.
Does that make sense? Yes.
But we have to try.
I don't want to belabor the point, but I saw you killed.
No, no, no, you saw me shot.
Twice.
In the heart.
Aha! I knew we had a '76 copy of the Admiralty Club Annual somewhere, because Mr.
Masters and I raced the Lucky Lady in the Transpac that year.
Placed eighth overall.
Only eighth? I'm afraid so.
Of course, we lost our jib two days out, Mr.
Masters broke his arm when a whale rammed the boat, and I was out for two days with an attack of malaria.
Still, one shouldn't make excuses.
A whale rammed the boat? Yes.
It was two days before we reached Honolulu.
Just after four bells.
I was at the helm, even though my fever was 103.
I remember the night was moonlit, rather like the sea off the coast of Lisbon in June.
Higgins, the photo.
Quite.
I'm sure he's a member of the club, because he raced the Black Swan that year.
As illegally rigged a sloop as you'll ever find.
It was frightful the way that bounder cheated.
Ah, here it is.
Is this the man in the coffin? Yes.
Yes, it is.
Reilly O'Shane.
How did you know? Simple.
I mean, all of your visions have related to a case that I've worked on or that you've worked on.
So, it seemed logical that some fragment of one of your visions would relate to the missing bottle of wine, and Higgins said that O'Shane had died six months ago, and judging from the degree of decomposition that you described, it seemed possible that O'Shane was the body in the coffin.
It's simple.
Simple.
It's brilliant.
Or a lucky guess.
Would you care to guess where the wine is? I know where the wine is.
It's in the coffin.
He took it with him? How like the miserable sot.
I'm going to call Lloyds.
Their Honolulu office? No, London.
No, no No, it's all right, I'll reverse the charges.
Don't call there yet.
Magnum, a priceless bottle of Bordeaux is sitting in a coffin.
I don't think O'Shane is going to drink it.
Of course, six feet under would keep it at a constant temperature.
Oh, Higgins.
Fifty-seven degrees Fahrenheit here in the Islands.
Nearly perfect.
Higgins.
Unless it's not on its side.
I'm sure O'Shane placed it properly! How can we get it? Why don't we let the insurance company and the police know, and let them get the bottle? Laura.
The only chance we have of altering the outcome of your vision is to confront it head on.
And that's why you hired me.
I hate this.
I don't exactly love it.
What? Those trees, they're the ones in the vision.
I've always loved John O'Hara's story of the servant who saw death coming towards him in a Baghdad marketplace, so he fled to Samarra, only to learn that it was there that death had an appointment with him.
Thomas.
Laura felt I had an appointment in Samarra.
I had to find out if she was right.
Higgins said all the O'Shanes are buried here.
Damn! I don't need it.
He's buried here.
It's happening.
Laura! Thomas! Thomas! It's over, Archie.
I still don't understand why? Well, it's quite simple.
See, Archie wanted to get even with Eddie for stealing Thelma, but he didn't wanna hurt Thelma because he still loved her.
But he also knew how angry Thelma was at me for catching her and Eddie fooling around.
So.
He simply let Thelma find out when and where he was gonna pay me for my services rendered, knowing that she would talk Eddie into giving me some nasty lumps.
Then he calls the cops in time to save me from the lumps, but get Thelma and Eddie's assault on record.
Then he snuffs Eddie, puts him in the trunk, and follows me, and is gonna make it look like Eddie shot me and I shot Eddie.
It was brilliant.
Man, you've been hanging around Higgins too long.
No, no, no, see, it's quite simple.
Whoa, whoa, I withdraw the question.
Thank you.
Come in! Hello.
Hi! Oh.
Goodness, what's that? You're making it for the Guinness Book of Records or for the telethon? Well, it's just a little snack.
Oh, yeah, the telethon.
I wonder what kind of talent Higgie found.
None.
He's reading poetry.
No, Agatha's reading poetry.
You are the only hope And they've only collected $53.
the trisected paolo worm has.
And now, another reading of Percy Bysshe Shelley's poem.
Ozymandias.
I met a traveler from an antique land Two vast and trunkless legs of stone Stand in the desert Near them on the sand You're really terrific! I'm gonna get the jockey silk, the glove, the balls Wait, wait, wait! How did it come to you? In a vision.
Wow! Television.
I was watching it in the main house.