Magnum, P.I. (1980) s05e11 Episode Script
Kiss of the Sabre
She's had the run of the estate.
When does she plan to finish her epic? Some writers take years.
Winston, after you drop us in Hong Kong, could you go to Switzerland? With pleasure.
You've read Betty's unfinished work? Did she ask my permission to be her hero? Russell Smythe died an hour ago, unknown cause.
Your lady has wandered too near the edge of the truth.
Thomas, get out of the car! Thomas! Twelve seconds to touch down.
And by the way, Sabre, for security reasons, we'll be landing on your private strip.
Twelve seconds.
Check.
Is the car ready? Right here, sir.
Leaving now to collect you at the ramp.
Welcome home.
May I take that, sir? Did you have a pleasant flight? The close of another case, sir? No, I'm afraid not.
Why isn't it the end of the case? Everyone's dead.
Well, I know that, but I can't wipe out all the bad guys, when I'm only on chapter two.
Miss Windom? The electric typewriter you ordered, the rental company just delivered it.
Oh, thank you, Higgins.
And thank you for being so helpful.
I know I've been a pain, but I just got to try anything to get on a roll.
Miss Windom, we've all experienced the frustration of the writer's block syndrome.
Yes, I recall once sitting for days, searching for just the right superlatives to describe one Major Reginald Weddington.
You see, "Humpy" Weddington had overcome great adversity in his quest to be an officer.
He was very short, very rotund, and he had lost his left ear in a freak rugby accident.
Well Betty.
What's going on? No.
No.
Not my house.
Thomas, wait a minute, please.
It's just for a couple of days.
Higgins! Higgins, where do you draw the line? For a week, she's had the run of the estate, she's had the Ferrari, and now she wants my She wants the total seclusion that Mr.
Masters' guest house offers.
And since Mr.
Masters wishes her to have every consideration until her novel is completed And when does she plan to finish her epic? I'm sure I've no idea.
Some writers take years to complete their maiden effort.
Years! What, Robin's just gonna let her move in here and abuse his hospitality indefinitely? There are precedents for such presumptions.
Magnum, please collect your things and come to the main house immediately.
I've prepared you a very nice room with a magnificent view.
View? I don't want a view! I just want my Higgins! Magnum will finish his tantrum and be out of your way shortly, Miss Windom.
Good writing.
Higgins! Thomas, please try to understand.
I have to be alone to concentrate.
I understand, Betty.
Excuse me.
You're welcome to whatever is in the refrigerator.
I'm eating on the run right now, anyway.
Oh, right.
The case.
Tell me about it.
Is it fun? Fun? No.
It's just a dull, routine insurance job.
Russell Smythe, my seventh hit-and-run this year.
I go to the hospital one more time, I ask him a few more questions and then he gets his insurance check.
Doesn't that sound exciting? That's it? What about the hit-and-run driver? I am having someone check on the car but we don't have much to go on.
Rick's working on it, right? Is it true that you don't work on a case without his and T.
C.
's help? Rick sort of softly blew that information in my ear when he asked me out.
What's the ID on the car? Gray.
That's it.
And that's why we're not going to find it.
And speaking of cars, the one I am renting is eating up most of my meager fee.
I don't suppose, since you're going to be cloistered here working in my house, that the Ferrari is free, hmm? Well, I was just about to go for a drive.
You know, just sensing that car's power and the breeze in my face and It really helps me to think.
Do you know the sensation I mean? I used to.
Goodbye, Betty.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I've got it! Why don't I come with you and we can both use the car? No.
Not this trip, Collette.
You know how deceptively dangerous these little insurance cases can be.
I'll call you from Rome.
Good luck.
And be careful.
Sebastian succumbed to the smooth, sensuous bite of the sherry as he mused the mystery of the Hans Leopold case.
As the balmy sea breeze bathed his thoughts, one truth washed crystal clean in his mind.
Interpol, the vast police force of Europe, only called him in on special situations.
And a case with the Interpol code name "Insurance Claim" was always very special.
On through the shadows of the South Sea sun, the trio sped to the airport.
Boris, the devoted manservant, Winston, the cavalier comrade and pilot, and Sebastian Sabre, international investigator at large.
This Hans Leopold case, isn't it a bit pedestrian for you, Sabre? A man's hands singed by a laser gun from a passing car on the streets of Brussels? Hans Leopold is Was the most renowned diamond cutter in all of Europe, Winston.
Interpol wants to know why someone would go to the trouble of destroying Hans' hands without harming him otherwise.
So do I.
Sabre Two.
Yes, one moment.
It's Mr.
Swift, sir, calling from Monte Carlo.
Sebastian always welcomed calls from his friend and confidant, the luck-laden libertine and lord of the gaming tables.
Swift, how's your luck running? Oh, excellent.
I've a Middle Eastern princess supplying my chips.
And I have the information that you needed, Sebastian.
A printout of every license number of every car in Brussels.
I'll telex it to you.
No, it could be intercepted.
After Winston drops me in Rome, he can hop over to Monaco and pick it up.
Gladly.
Monique will be happy to see me.
Then I'll leave it at the desk at the Hotel LeMeur.
I have to be in Switzerland tonight.
High-stakes poker with some bankers.
Thanks for the help, Swift.
I just need the one car in Brussels that will confirm my theory, Winston, that Hans Leopold was attacked by a diamond theft syndicate, or by one man with a syndicate's power.
Sir, am I reading your thoughts? King Solomon? Yes, Boris.
And this time I won't quit until I know who he is.
I'm meeting Inspector Vittorio Romano of Interpol at the hospital in Rome, to interview Hans.
Sir, you won't want to be in Italy without the Ferrari.
Shall I Air Express it? No.
Collette needs it.
And you need Collette.
Why didn't you let her come along? Winston, she's writing, okay? No, she's not.
Lunch break.
Working insurance jobs like the Russell Smythe case always made me feel more like a pencil pusher than a private investigator, but I hadn't been totally honest with Betty when I referred to this one as just routine.
It was the same as all the others on the surface, but I had a feeling that there was some unexplored scene in this little drama.
I'd already had two visits with Russell at the hospital, but the feeling was strong enough to ask for one more meeting with the victim, the insurance guy, Dan Morgan, and a large supporting cast.
Oh, come on, what's going on, Morgan? Why is this PI hassling me? Look, no one's hassling you, Russell.
Thomas just felt there were a few more questions to be asked, I guess.
Look, Russell, surely you must remember something more about the car that hit you.
It was a gray sedan, all right? Gray.
That's it.
Gray.
Just like I'm gonna be by the time I get this insurance check.
Aren't you a little overly anxious to get paid, Mr.
Smythe? Betty, what are you doing here? Well, I was just on a break and I thought I might meet you and we'll have a little lunch.
Who's she? Would you mind waiting outside, please? Sure.
There's just one question, Mr.
Smythe.
Are you certain that there is no one that might deliberately try to run you over? You're right, lady.
You're right.
See, I'm in a very dangerous business.
I run a deli! Some guy comes in and asks for mayo, I give him Thousand Island on his turkey and he puts a contract out on my life! Come on! Come on, give me a break! I have never heard of King Solomon! Hans, please, you must cooperate.
Sebastian and Interpol have been working for years to learn King Solomon's true identity.
Inspector Romano, I'm sorry but I have nothing more to say to you.
Are you certain, Hans? I've traced the license number of a gray sedan in Brussels to the Worldex Import Export Company.
The same concern that was implicated in an earlier search for King Solomon, when he eluded me.
Hans, did the laser shots that hurt your hands come from a gray sedan? I don't know.
But if you're trying to imply that I would cut stolen diamonds for the world's most infamous jewel thief, no.
I thought you said you'd never heard of King Solomon.
Collette.
Oh, please don't be angry with me, darling.
I felt that you needed me.
Hans, did the King have your hands destroyed to warn you to stay silent about his identity? Would you please stop this? The burning of Hans' hands was an accident.
Can you not let me return to Belgium? Have I not suffered enough? Release him, Vittorio.
Just one more question, Hans.
You are a lifelong resident of Belgium, correct? Ja, of course.
Then why do you have a German accent? It's questions like that, that can get us sued.
I said I was sorry, Dan.
I didn't know Betty was going to show up but she did ask a valid question.
Valid? Thomas, what's got into you? Why have you picked this case to pull a cloak-and-dagger routine on me? I don't know, Dan, there's something Not right.
I know.
You told me.
Look, would you just see his doctor and lawyer and get all the papers signed, so I can issue Russell's check? Then decide what's not right.
Yeah, I'll see him this afternoon.
Without the lady detective, please? Right.
Hey, ready for lunch? I saw this cute little place on the way over here.
I want to tell you my theory on Russell.
Betty, no.
You've helped me enough, okay? But I've already Go home.
Write.
Please.
What are you doing? Thomas! Thomas, get out of the car! Stop it! What are you doing? Stop! Thomas, get out of the car! What are you doing? Thomas! Thomas! Oh, my God! Thomas! Thomas! Stop it! Thomas.
Thomas.
Thomas, are you okay? Hey, Thomas, Betty, whoever.
It's Rick, Thomas.
Hey look, forget about finding the backhoe.
There's too many on the island to trace.
Ditto on the gray sedans.
And, Betty Well, I called earlier to see if you'd changed your mind about dinner, but Higgins told me that you were staying over at Thomas' place, so Hey, kids, no hard feelings on this end, okay? You guys have fun.
See you.
Kiss of the Sabre by Phillip Davy? Phillip Davy? Do you know what time it is? It's 9:00 a.
m.
, Phillip Davy.
Robin said a mystery-adventure authoress can't make it unless she uses some dumb masculine pen name.
Betty, no writer, under any name, can make it, unless they write something.
I worked until after 3:00.
And what about investigators? You should be at the hospital confronting Russell.
Thomas, it's obvious he tried to have somebody kill you because he's afraid that you'll find out he's faking his injuries.
Russell is not faking it.
Then who turned your subcompact into a sub subcompact? I don't know! And I can't find out until I wrap up Russell's case.
And I can't do that without transportation.
So, Betty, please, please.
Could I have the keys to my car? Fine, no problem.
As long as you take me with you.
Why? It's going to be a long, boring day.
Looking for a killer backhoe isn't boring.
Now, now, Betty, come on.
Now, wait a minute.
I am going to lunch with Russell's attorney and then I have to get him to sign some paperwork.
Then I'm going to see his doctor.
More paperwork.
No killer backhoe, okay? I promise I won't get in your way.
I'll just spend my time writing and I'll be there if you need my help.
No.
No.
You were enough help for me yesterday.
Now, you can call Higgins, you can even call Robin, but I am leaving here by myself, in that car, now.
So just give me my keys, okay? Clumsy Phillip.
I'll drive.
And don't take time to pack, Collette.
We'll grab you a wardrobe in Paris.
Collette was ecstatic when Sebastian decided to let her stay with him.
They lounged in the Lear high above the Atlantic.
Silence filled the infinite space of sea and sky, save for the soft caress of wind across the wings and the tinkling of two glasses.
Collette, these people that I'm questioning about the Leopold affair.
Some of them know me.
They might speak more freely if you saw them alone.
I'll have the King's identity this time, whatever the cost.
As we're en route to Paris, sir, I've taken the liberty of preparing a lunch of Canard a I'orange, Ãpinards au jus, and Gratin dauphinois.
I hope you'll find it to your liking.
Oh, yes, Boris I'm sorry.
I should have told you we're lunching on the Champs Ãlysées, with Jacques Arnot, Hans Leopold's attorney.
Very good, sir.
Not to worry.
The Dobermans will enjoy this little lunch.
Jacques Arnot? Surely you don't suspect him? Being the most successful attorney in the free world, would make an excellent cover.
Yes, even the great Jacques Arnot is suspect.
My client is totally disabled, Mr.
Magnum.
He's lucky if he ever walks again, much less works.
Mr.
Meeder, if you will just give me your signature verifying that you have given me all the facts on the case as you know them, and then I'll talk to Dr.
Su.
All right.
Where's my pen? Wait a minute, I know it's in here somewhere.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What facts did he give you? All you said was that Russell was due the maximum on his accident policy and some doctor would verity it.
Bill Su.
I I've worked with him on cases before.
So there's just one doctor involved? Shouldn't we get a second opinion? Betty, you promised! Yeah, but if you're just going to sit there and let the insurance company get taken for a ride Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! I don't think I like your insinuation there, Miss Windom.
No, Mr.
Meeder, wait a minute.
Betty doesn't understand.
She Betty understands perfectly.
I have seen your television commercials, Mr.
Meeder.
"Insurance claims our specialty.
" So you want to be sure you get what you can because you get a percentage of what you collect, right? Betty! That's it! Everybody gets paid.
You, the hospital, the doctor Okay, that's it, that's it.
Over.
That's all, it's over.
No! Wait! Now, wait a minute.
You No.
Oh, no.
No, no, I'm gonna tell Dan Morgan I've got grounds for a slander suit.
You can't hold Superior Mutual responsible for Betty's I can sure as hell try.
She made slanderous remarks on their behalf.
Jacques, please, come back, sit down.
Monsieur, how dare she imply that I, Jacques Arnot, would be involved in such a plot.
Well, Collette may be a wonderful warrior of a woman, but she is not always a diplomat.
I simply suggested that perhaps Hans' hands were not burned at all, Jacques.
Mademoiselle Collette, please.
What would be there to gain in such a charade? Hans is a diamond cutter.
His hands are his fortune.
Exactly.
And if the world believed that those gifted fingers were destroyed, then he could have a much greater fortune, secretly cutting stolen diamonds for King Solomon.
Forgive me, mademoiselle, but that is a ridiculous theory.
Ridiculous.
Then I suppose you'll have no objection to our having another doctor examine Hans' hands? Easy, Collette, darling.
Hans Leopold is a patient of Dr.
Ling.
The famous Dr.
Ling? You think he could be King Solomon? He certainly becomes the most likely candidate.
Winston, after you drop us in Hong Kong, could you go to Switzerland for Swift? I may need him.
With pleasure.
I failed to thank Madge the last time I visited her.
Collette, Ling and I are old adversaries.
He'll say nothing in front of me.
So, he's the one that you want me to see alone? You know he's a practicing degenerate.
The stories of what he's done to women But it's worth the risk, if that's what you need from me.
Spinal injuries are common in this kind of situation.
If you will look right here, at the three lower vertebrae, there's pretty severe damage.
Not really enough left to be operable.
Then there's compound fracture of the left femur and multiple fractures of metatarsals.
Bill, I have seen enough.
Russell is a total If you could just sign this stuff for me? Sure.
Excuse me.
I told you I should have talked to him alone.
This is getting us nowhere.
You know, I find these X-rays really fascinating.
Can they be retouched? I suppose it's possible.
But believe me, these breaks are real.
I had to set every one of them.
Right.
So I suppose other doctors have examined them also? Excuse me.
I have another patient.
Thanks, Bill.
What? What'd I say? Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
I was just trying to find out whether or not someone Could alter X-rays, that's all.
Betty, I have had it.
You're going home so that I can finish this investigation.
What investigation? What did they hire you for, anyway? Any insurance man could do what you're doing.
Thomas What? Aren't you forgetting something? Don't you remember Russell tried to kill you? Your lady has wandered too near the edge of the truth, Sabre.
Dispense with him.
But take the girl to my operating room.
Stop! Or I'll punch you in the square root of 18 and you all become targets for heat-seeking missiles.
Sebastian! Drop your ingenious abacus, Mr.
Sabre.
Here's one for you, Swift.
And this one's mine.
Wow.
Lucky I had a tailwind from Switzerland.
Check.
What happened to Ling? He escaped through a secret panel in the ceiling.
Never mind.
More important we return to Brussels.
Hans Leopold's life could be in danger.
Brussels.
Winston, Micheline and Helga will be pleased to see us.
Lunch for five on the jet, sir? Haven't we already had lunch? No.
You decided you didn't want to.
I am starving.
There wasn't time.
I spent an hour convincing Ronnie Meeder not to sue and another hour coming down here to the hospital.
Now, maybe we can have dinner, if you wait for me in the car.
That's not fair.
It was my idea that we come back and talk to him.
Not we, I.
I am going in there to see Russell because you have me halfway convinced that he's faking it.
But you are going to wait right here Thomas, what are you doing here? Didn't you get my message? What message? I was going to your office after Never mind.
Just don't do any more on the investigation, okay? And don't go inside.
Ronnie Meeder's in there and I have enough troubles without him seeing you two again.
Dan, now, wait a minute.
I straightened things out with Meeder.
Thomas, Russell Smythe died an hour ago.
Cause unknown.
Bill's gonna do an autopsy.
It was a blood clot in his lung.
Bills says that just happens sometimes with serious injuries.
I wanna go to bed.
Oh, that's it? You're just gonna drop it? You're not gonna try to find out which one of those men tried to kill you? Betty, when do you stop? You were wrong.
Nobody involved with Russell tried to kill me And Russell definitely wasn't faking it.
Hi, lovebirds.
Thomas, for what it's worth, a friend on the dock says a gray '83 Buick with minor fender damage got shipped to Maui yesterday.
Registered owner, Donna Jenkins, and, by the way, we need to discuss our deal on this job, right? Call me.
See? Is that fate, or what? Just when you're ready to quit, you get a big lead on the gray sedan.
Right.
I always knew Donna Jenkins was our girl, whoever she may be.
Now, Betty, please, once and for all, just drop it.
The case is closed, okay? No, it isn't.
Not for me, it isn't.
Look, just because Russell died, doesn't mean that the doctor and the attorney couldn't be running some sort of scam! No! Now, I've known Bill Su for years.
He's a reputable doctor.
That's one opinion, Thomas! If you'd have listened to me and let me talk to him alone, we would know for sure, wouldn't we? Good night, Betty.
Would you just wait.
Thomas, please, wait.
Just wait a minute, please? Wait, just wait.
Did you ever get a chance to eat? I mean, since I've taken over your kitchen and everything, the least I can do is fix us dinner.
I'm not very hungry but thank you.
It was a deeply dejected Sebastian, who sat in the sensuous morning sun, on the patio of the Sabre's Scabbard.
Few had ever witnessed the strong and secure Sebastian Sabre in self-exile, on a Ionely desolate island of defeat.
Mr.
Sabre? It's Crepes Italian, sir.
Your favorite breakfast.
What? Oh, yes, Boris, thank you, but I seem to have lost my appetite.
Borie baby.
Why don't you tell us another one of your wonderful stories? Sebastian always finds them amusing.
Yes, Mr.
Sabre.
Let me tell you about the uniquely bizarre episode I experienced while the valet of Prince Abdul Ben Assar.
The Prince discovered his favorite wife had taken a lover and ordered me to personally execute the rake Boris.
I've heard that one.
I do find it very funny, but not now.
Sebastian, please, the Leopold case is over.
You must forget it.
I can't.
I'm responsible for Hans' death, Winston.
I should have realized Dr.
Ling would silence him the moment we came too close to the truth.
Leopold died of a blood disease, the results of his burns.
Do you really believe a doctor of Ling's competence could overlook a simple blood disease? Sabre's Scabbard.
One moment.
A call sure to cheer you, sir.
Mr.
Swift.
He's back in Monte Carlo.
Sebastian, good news.
I have some interesting information regarding the Leopold case.
However, before we go any further Oh, this is so embarrassing.
My luck has seemed to have left me in the last few hours.
Swift, please, I'll wire you $50,000 immediately.
You're too generous, Sebastian.
Dr.
Ling, Jacques Arnot and Hans Leopold all own stock in Worldex Import Export Company.
And the gray Mercedes that you found registered to Worldex is actually the personal car of one Eva Leopold.
Hans' wife? The same.
I have to get back to the game now, Sebastian.
Thanks for the 50.
That's why I could never catch the King.
Winston, we're going back to Rome.
Boris, get me Vittorio at Interpol, and then call Collette and tell her we leave in ten minutes.
What's the matter? We didn't know how to tell you, sir, in your depressed state.
Sebastian, Collette took a flight to Hong Kong this morning.
Apparently, she's investigating on her own.
Collette was right.
The access code to Dr.
Ling's computer was King Solomon.
Then suddenly, there was what she needed.
Secret data on the diabolical doctor.
Forty three jewel thieves, all acquitted on medical grounds, all his patients and all defended by Jacques Arnot.
Then came Ling's financial records.
There were no less than seven diamond companies that he, Jacques Arnot, and Hans Leopold jointly owned.
But which one of them is the King? All of them.
Sebastian, Vittorio.
The King isn't one man, Collette.
It's the code name for an entire jewel theft ring.
Ling, Arnot, hundreds of others.
Even Hans Leopold before they killed him.
Hans is not dead, Mr.
Sabre.
Marcello! Angelo! Arrest them! Yes, Inspector.
There are many, even at Interpol, who are with us.
So my theory was correct.
Hans' hands were not burned.
Destroy the hands of the world's most famous diamond cutter? No, mademoiselle.
We simply had Hans' wife shoot a harmless beam at them.
And you, so close to discovering the secret, he had to die.
So unfortunately for you three, death will not be such a lucrative charade.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
If Hans can be alive, why can't Russell? Russell? Must I post a note on the door? You no longer live here.
Higgins, it makes sense.
I mean, it's a little far-fetched, but basically she's right.
You've read Betty's unfinished work? Did she give you permission? Did she ask my permission to be her hero and lover? Is something going on of which I am unaware? Higgins, where's Betty? She asked for the keys to the Audi early this morning.
Magnum.
Read Kiss of the Sabre.
It's self-explanatory.
A mystery novel? That's why you got me down here? That's your big emergency? Dan, I didn't have time to come by your office.
I wanted to get here before Betty did.
Oh, and before she got done in by the evil Dr.
Su, huh? This girl's already jeopardized your chances of ever working another case for us and now you buy this crazy story.
I don't want to believe it either, Dan, but it adds up.
Do you know how many accident cases Superior Mutual has had where Bill Su and Ronnie Meeder were both involved? Well, quite a few, I guess.
Over 50.
And all of them cut and dried, just like Russell's.
And only one doctor your company trusts to verify injuries.
Bill.
I see, so the whole hospital is getting a kickback with him, right? No, no, not the top people.
But, yeah.
There could've been enough orderlies and nurses in on the scheme to cover up the fake victims.
Dan, I just wanted to give you a chance to talk to Bill with me before I call the police, that's all.
Police? Oh, come on, wait a minute.
Thomas.
You need some proof.
Proof? Ronnie Meeder's brother-in-law owns a backhoe, just like the one that annihilated my rental car.
And Donna Jenkins just sent her damaged gray sedan to Maui.
That's Russell's ex-wife.
And beneficiary.
Look, Dan, I'm not looking forward to this any more than you are, but there is enough proof.
Nobody's looked forward to it, Thomas.
We're really sorry you had to find out.
But you have to understand, we can't let you and Betty go.
This has been a real good deal for all of us and nobody's ever been hurt but Superior Mutual Insurance, up to now.
T.
C: "Monique will be happy to see me"? How could Betty think of me as a womanizing, trigger-happy clothes hound? That's hardly as offensive as finding your dearest experiences parodied as Boris' amusing stories, or finding yourself caricatured as the servant to the master of Sabre's Scabbard.
Good God.
Well, I don't know where she got the idea for this Swift guy, but he is terrific.
I mean, I can understand why Robin is sold on her as a writer.
This girl can really turn a phrase.
Yes.
In several illiterated directions simultaneously.
However, it's the content, not the quality of her book that currently concerns me.
No, come on, Higgins.
No way that junk can be based on anything serious enough to cause any real problems.
Based on Magnum's reaction to it, I have to disagree.
T.
C.
, I think he's right.
There's all sorts of stuff in here straight from Thomas' hit-and-run case.
Yes, and if Betty's naiveté as an authoress carries over into her sleuthing, there's every possibility that somehow she and Magnum are living the jeopardy of her final page.
Well, we better break this plot down or hope for some more clues.
Why bother? I'll just go warm up the jet and we'll hop over to Rome and perform our usual daring rescue.
T.
C.
, please.
Betty has been gone for over 24 hours, Magnum for 18.
I think we must try any possible avenue that will determine their whereabouts.
Maui's not that hard to find.
This part is.
You're in a very remote part of the island where nobody, I mean nobody's gonna find you.
Or you, right, Russell? Why don't you lay off the subject of my untimely death, huh, Magnum? Since you and your meddlesome girlfriend here are the cause of it.
Where's Bill and the others? They just taking off and leaving us to you? No.
No, see, they're having a meeting.
DR.
LING: For the purpose of deciding your fate.
I'm sure my men will enjoy cutting Mr.
Sabre into shark-sized bites, and casting him into the sea.
And Signorina Collette? Collette, I have a confession to make.
I was concerned about your welfare and I I read your diary on the way to Hong Kong.
You did a beautiful job.
All the pieces of the puzzle were there, and the things you wrote about us, well I never knew I meant so much to you.
Don't give up hope, Collette.
Boris has the diary.
Let us just hope that Collette was correct about the secret passage in Ling's roof.
Can we hit that small a target? It will be difficult from 38,000 feet, but not impossible with Winston's precise calculations.
Winston.
Yes, Swift? How long before we go in? T.
C: We could roam around here forever.
Do you know how many houses there are on Maui? Not many with a backhoe and a gray sedan outside.
Orville T.
C.
, I know for a fact that that backhoe was shipped over here and the gray sedan, too.
Why else but to hide them? T.
C.
, why are you flying around the southern tip? I told you, the tax appraiser's office locates Dr.
Su's cottage somewhere in the north.
T.
C: Will you just let me do the flying? T.
C: This is crazy.
I am setting down and calling the police.
And have them do what? Read Kiss of the Sabre? T.
C.
, please, fly north.
Thanks, guys.
It really means a lot to us.
One minute, Thomas.
That's all we can give you.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's better than nothing.
We just want to say goodbye.
We really care about each other.
Hey.
Wait a minute.
Why are we leaving these people alone? They're not going nowhere, they're tied up.
Come on.
Thank you.
All right, Betty, I think you should know that I have no great heroic way of getting us out of this.
I'm wide open for suggestions.
What would Sebastian Sabre do? You read it? Oh, my God, I could die.
Yes, you could! Oh, my God.
We could! So will you use that wild imagination and help me think of something to get us out of this door safely.
A candle.
Sebastian would hold his ropes over the flame until they burned in two and then he'd pretend to still be tied up.
And then he would jump all four of them, when they came back in.
Betty, look around you.
Do you see a candle anywhere in this room? And only the Sebastian Sabre would be dumb enough to jump four people all by himself.
He's not dumb.
He's confident.
Criminals aren't.
Any man with real self-confidence could handle four insecure killers.
Thomas, come on.
No more time.
Come on, Meeder, you're an attorney.
What's the difference between the penalties for insurance rip-offs and two counts of murder one? Oh, well, don't think that we didn't discuss that, Magnum.
We figure we have to take the chance.
Dan, I mean, I'm starting to get a little scared.
You're not double-crossing me, are you? What is he talking about? Beats the hell out of me.
You know, there's a copy of that statement that goes to the police, if I don't get back.
What statement? My written statement exposing this whole operation.
Dan bought my silence in exchange for his promise that I could become a partner.
We just set up this little trip to reduce the size of management.
Come on.
Can't you see he's winging it to stay alive? Really? He sounds pretty sure of himself for a guy who's about to be killed.
Nobody asked for your opinion, Russell.
Yeah, well, I'm giving it, okay? I mean, if you guys had done away with him with the backhoe instead of just trying to scare him Hey! Stop it.
Just get these two in the car.
No, not until I figure this statement thing out.
Russell, there is no statement! Damn it! Stop flailing that gun around.
Don't do it, Russell.
Now, Russell Give me that gun before you hurt Get it.
Go on, get it! Five, four, three, two one.
Good luck, Boris.
Oh, my God! There it is, T.
C.
There's the backhoe.
Chopper! Let's get out of here! T.
C: Thomas! Lucky I got the tailwind from Oahu.
Betty.
Rick's waiting.
All right, thanks.
I hope you know that I wanted to take you to the airport personally, but I'm already late for a meeting on a case.
Listen, I straightened everybody out about our You know, our relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty funny them thinking that we I mean, we never even made it to dinner.
You know, I think Robin was right about your talent.
I just I feel that you need to Try a different approach? Right.
You know, I was considering a romance novel.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
What do you think about the name Collette Crystal? Oh, it's okay.
I like Betty Windom a lot better.
Why don't you just start over and write one in her name? I gotta run.
Another insurance case.
And you know how tricky these little insurance cases can be.
Collette knew that Sebastian was right.
The diary must be destroyed.
The King Solomon syndicate was not finished, only severed into pieces by the Sabre's slash.
To have the diary in the hands of the remaining Solomites would be fatal to all concerned.
It hurt to watch her pages of passion fight for their life and die on the outgoing tide, but it was what Sebastian wanted.
And she never refused him anything.
When does she plan to finish her epic? Some writers take years.
Winston, after you drop us in Hong Kong, could you go to Switzerland? With pleasure.
You've read Betty's unfinished work? Did she ask my permission to be her hero? Russell Smythe died an hour ago, unknown cause.
Your lady has wandered too near the edge of the truth.
Thomas, get out of the car! Thomas! Twelve seconds to touch down.
And by the way, Sabre, for security reasons, we'll be landing on your private strip.
Twelve seconds.
Check.
Is the car ready? Right here, sir.
Leaving now to collect you at the ramp.
Welcome home.
May I take that, sir? Did you have a pleasant flight? The close of another case, sir? No, I'm afraid not.
Why isn't it the end of the case? Everyone's dead.
Well, I know that, but I can't wipe out all the bad guys, when I'm only on chapter two.
Miss Windom? The electric typewriter you ordered, the rental company just delivered it.
Oh, thank you, Higgins.
And thank you for being so helpful.
I know I've been a pain, but I just got to try anything to get on a roll.
Miss Windom, we've all experienced the frustration of the writer's block syndrome.
Yes, I recall once sitting for days, searching for just the right superlatives to describe one Major Reginald Weddington.
You see, "Humpy" Weddington had overcome great adversity in his quest to be an officer.
He was very short, very rotund, and he had lost his left ear in a freak rugby accident.
Well Betty.
What's going on? No.
No.
Not my house.
Thomas, wait a minute, please.
It's just for a couple of days.
Higgins! Higgins, where do you draw the line? For a week, she's had the run of the estate, she's had the Ferrari, and now she wants my She wants the total seclusion that Mr.
Masters' guest house offers.
And since Mr.
Masters wishes her to have every consideration until her novel is completed And when does she plan to finish her epic? I'm sure I've no idea.
Some writers take years to complete their maiden effort.
Years! What, Robin's just gonna let her move in here and abuse his hospitality indefinitely? There are precedents for such presumptions.
Magnum, please collect your things and come to the main house immediately.
I've prepared you a very nice room with a magnificent view.
View? I don't want a view! I just want my Higgins! Magnum will finish his tantrum and be out of your way shortly, Miss Windom.
Good writing.
Higgins! Thomas, please try to understand.
I have to be alone to concentrate.
I understand, Betty.
Excuse me.
You're welcome to whatever is in the refrigerator.
I'm eating on the run right now, anyway.
Oh, right.
The case.
Tell me about it.
Is it fun? Fun? No.
It's just a dull, routine insurance job.
Russell Smythe, my seventh hit-and-run this year.
I go to the hospital one more time, I ask him a few more questions and then he gets his insurance check.
Doesn't that sound exciting? That's it? What about the hit-and-run driver? I am having someone check on the car but we don't have much to go on.
Rick's working on it, right? Is it true that you don't work on a case without his and T.
C.
's help? Rick sort of softly blew that information in my ear when he asked me out.
What's the ID on the car? Gray.
That's it.
And that's why we're not going to find it.
And speaking of cars, the one I am renting is eating up most of my meager fee.
I don't suppose, since you're going to be cloistered here working in my house, that the Ferrari is free, hmm? Well, I was just about to go for a drive.
You know, just sensing that car's power and the breeze in my face and It really helps me to think.
Do you know the sensation I mean? I used to.
Goodbye, Betty.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! I've got it! Why don't I come with you and we can both use the car? No.
Not this trip, Collette.
You know how deceptively dangerous these little insurance cases can be.
I'll call you from Rome.
Good luck.
And be careful.
Sebastian succumbed to the smooth, sensuous bite of the sherry as he mused the mystery of the Hans Leopold case.
As the balmy sea breeze bathed his thoughts, one truth washed crystal clean in his mind.
Interpol, the vast police force of Europe, only called him in on special situations.
And a case with the Interpol code name "Insurance Claim" was always very special.
On through the shadows of the South Sea sun, the trio sped to the airport.
Boris, the devoted manservant, Winston, the cavalier comrade and pilot, and Sebastian Sabre, international investigator at large.
This Hans Leopold case, isn't it a bit pedestrian for you, Sabre? A man's hands singed by a laser gun from a passing car on the streets of Brussels? Hans Leopold is Was the most renowned diamond cutter in all of Europe, Winston.
Interpol wants to know why someone would go to the trouble of destroying Hans' hands without harming him otherwise.
So do I.
Sabre Two.
Yes, one moment.
It's Mr.
Swift, sir, calling from Monte Carlo.
Sebastian always welcomed calls from his friend and confidant, the luck-laden libertine and lord of the gaming tables.
Swift, how's your luck running? Oh, excellent.
I've a Middle Eastern princess supplying my chips.
And I have the information that you needed, Sebastian.
A printout of every license number of every car in Brussels.
I'll telex it to you.
No, it could be intercepted.
After Winston drops me in Rome, he can hop over to Monaco and pick it up.
Gladly.
Monique will be happy to see me.
Then I'll leave it at the desk at the Hotel LeMeur.
I have to be in Switzerland tonight.
High-stakes poker with some bankers.
Thanks for the help, Swift.
I just need the one car in Brussels that will confirm my theory, Winston, that Hans Leopold was attacked by a diamond theft syndicate, or by one man with a syndicate's power.
Sir, am I reading your thoughts? King Solomon? Yes, Boris.
And this time I won't quit until I know who he is.
I'm meeting Inspector Vittorio Romano of Interpol at the hospital in Rome, to interview Hans.
Sir, you won't want to be in Italy without the Ferrari.
Shall I Air Express it? No.
Collette needs it.
And you need Collette.
Why didn't you let her come along? Winston, she's writing, okay? No, she's not.
Lunch break.
Working insurance jobs like the Russell Smythe case always made me feel more like a pencil pusher than a private investigator, but I hadn't been totally honest with Betty when I referred to this one as just routine.
It was the same as all the others on the surface, but I had a feeling that there was some unexplored scene in this little drama.
I'd already had two visits with Russell at the hospital, but the feeling was strong enough to ask for one more meeting with the victim, the insurance guy, Dan Morgan, and a large supporting cast.
Oh, come on, what's going on, Morgan? Why is this PI hassling me? Look, no one's hassling you, Russell.
Thomas just felt there were a few more questions to be asked, I guess.
Look, Russell, surely you must remember something more about the car that hit you.
It was a gray sedan, all right? Gray.
That's it.
Gray.
Just like I'm gonna be by the time I get this insurance check.
Aren't you a little overly anxious to get paid, Mr.
Smythe? Betty, what are you doing here? Well, I was just on a break and I thought I might meet you and we'll have a little lunch.
Who's she? Would you mind waiting outside, please? Sure.
There's just one question, Mr.
Smythe.
Are you certain that there is no one that might deliberately try to run you over? You're right, lady.
You're right.
See, I'm in a very dangerous business.
I run a deli! Some guy comes in and asks for mayo, I give him Thousand Island on his turkey and he puts a contract out on my life! Come on! Come on, give me a break! I have never heard of King Solomon! Hans, please, you must cooperate.
Sebastian and Interpol have been working for years to learn King Solomon's true identity.
Inspector Romano, I'm sorry but I have nothing more to say to you.
Are you certain, Hans? I've traced the license number of a gray sedan in Brussels to the Worldex Import Export Company.
The same concern that was implicated in an earlier search for King Solomon, when he eluded me.
Hans, did the laser shots that hurt your hands come from a gray sedan? I don't know.
But if you're trying to imply that I would cut stolen diamonds for the world's most infamous jewel thief, no.
I thought you said you'd never heard of King Solomon.
Collette.
Oh, please don't be angry with me, darling.
I felt that you needed me.
Hans, did the King have your hands destroyed to warn you to stay silent about his identity? Would you please stop this? The burning of Hans' hands was an accident.
Can you not let me return to Belgium? Have I not suffered enough? Release him, Vittorio.
Just one more question, Hans.
You are a lifelong resident of Belgium, correct? Ja, of course.
Then why do you have a German accent? It's questions like that, that can get us sued.
I said I was sorry, Dan.
I didn't know Betty was going to show up but she did ask a valid question.
Valid? Thomas, what's got into you? Why have you picked this case to pull a cloak-and-dagger routine on me? I don't know, Dan, there's something Not right.
I know.
You told me.
Look, would you just see his doctor and lawyer and get all the papers signed, so I can issue Russell's check? Then decide what's not right.
Yeah, I'll see him this afternoon.
Without the lady detective, please? Right.
Hey, ready for lunch? I saw this cute little place on the way over here.
I want to tell you my theory on Russell.
Betty, no.
You've helped me enough, okay? But I've already Go home.
Write.
Please.
What are you doing? Thomas! Thomas, get out of the car! Stop it! What are you doing? Stop! Thomas, get out of the car! What are you doing? Thomas! Thomas! Oh, my God! Thomas! Thomas! Stop it! Thomas.
Thomas.
Thomas, are you okay? Hey, Thomas, Betty, whoever.
It's Rick, Thomas.
Hey look, forget about finding the backhoe.
There's too many on the island to trace.
Ditto on the gray sedans.
And, Betty Well, I called earlier to see if you'd changed your mind about dinner, but Higgins told me that you were staying over at Thomas' place, so Hey, kids, no hard feelings on this end, okay? You guys have fun.
See you.
Kiss of the Sabre by Phillip Davy? Phillip Davy? Do you know what time it is? It's 9:00 a.
m.
, Phillip Davy.
Robin said a mystery-adventure authoress can't make it unless she uses some dumb masculine pen name.
Betty, no writer, under any name, can make it, unless they write something.
I worked until after 3:00.
And what about investigators? You should be at the hospital confronting Russell.
Thomas, it's obvious he tried to have somebody kill you because he's afraid that you'll find out he's faking his injuries.
Russell is not faking it.
Then who turned your subcompact into a sub subcompact? I don't know! And I can't find out until I wrap up Russell's case.
And I can't do that without transportation.
So, Betty, please, please.
Could I have the keys to my car? Fine, no problem.
As long as you take me with you.
Why? It's going to be a long, boring day.
Looking for a killer backhoe isn't boring.
Now, now, Betty, come on.
Now, wait a minute.
I am going to lunch with Russell's attorney and then I have to get him to sign some paperwork.
Then I'm going to see his doctor.
More paperwork.
No killer backhoe, okay? I promise I won't get in your way.
I'll just spend my time writing and I'll be there if you need my help.
No.
No.
You were enough help for me yesterday.
Now, you can call Higgins, you can even call Robin, but I am leaving here by myself, in that car, now.
So just give me my keys, okay? Clumsy Phillip.
I'll drive.
And don't take time to pack, Collette.
We'll grab you a wardrobe in Paris.
Collette was ecstatic when Sebastian decided to let her stay with him.
They lounged in the Lear high above the Atlantic.
Silence filled the infinite space of sea and sky, save for the soft caress of wind across the wings and the tinkling of two glasses.
Collette, these people that I'm questioning about the Leopold affair.
Some of them know me.
They might speak more freely if you saw them alone.
I'll have the King's identity this time, whatever the cost.
As we're en route to Paris, sir, I've taken the liberty of preparing a lunch of Canard a I'orange, Ãpinards au jus, and Gratin dauphinois.
I hope you'll find it to your liking.
Oh, yes, Boris I'm sorry.
I should have told you we're lunching on the Champs Ãlysées, with Jacques Arnot, Hans Leopold's attorney.
Very good, sir.
Not to worry.
The Dobermans will enjoy this little lunch.
Jacques Arnot? Surely you don't suspect him? Being the most successful attorney in the free world, would make an excellent cover.
Yes, even the great Jacques Arnot is suspect.
My client is totally disabled, Mr.
Magnum.
He's lucky if he ever walks again, much less works.
Mr.
Meeder, if you will just give me your signature verifying that you have given me all the facts on the case as you know them, and then I'll talk to Dr.
Su.
All right.
Where's my pen? Wait a minute, I know it's in here somewhere.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
What facts did he give you? All you said was that Russell was due the maximum on his accident policy and some doctor would verity it.
Bill Su.
I I've worked with him on cases before.
So there's just one doctor involved? Shouldn't we get a second opinion? Betty, you promised! Yeah, but if you're just going to sit there and let the insurance company get taken for a ride Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute! I don't think I like your insinuation there, Miss Windom.
No, Mr.
Meeder, wait a minute.
Betty doesn't understand.
She Betty understands perfectly.
I have seen your television commercials, Mr.
Meeder.
"Insurance claims our specialty.
" So you want to be sure you get what you can because you get a percentage of what you collect, right? Betty! That's it! Everybody gets paid.
You, the hospital, the doctor Okay, that's it, that's it.
Over.
That's all, it's over.
No! Wait! Now, wait a minute.
You No.
Oh, no.
No, no, I'm gonna tell Dan Morgan I've got grounds for a slander suit.
You can't hold Superior Mutual responsible for Betty's I can sure as hell try.
She made slanderous remarks on their behalf.
Jacques, please, come back, sit down.
Monsieur, how dare she imply that I, Jacques Arnot, would be involved in such a plot.
Well, Collette may be a wonderful warrior of a woman, but she is not always a diplomat.
I simply suggested that perhaps Hans' hands were not burned at all, Jacques.
Mademoiselle Collette, please.
What would be there to gain in such a charade? Hans is a diamond cutter.
His hands are his fortune.
Exactly.
And if the world believed that those gifted fingers were destroyed, then he could have a much greater fortune, secretly cutting stolen diamonds for King Solomon.
Forgive me, mademoiselle, but that is a ridiculous theory.
Ridiculous.
Then I suppose you'll have no objection to our having another doctor examine Hans' hands? Easy, Collette, darling.
Hans Leopold is a patient of Dr.
Ling.
The famous Dr.
Ling? You think he could be King Solomon? He certainly becomes the most likely candidate.
Winston, after you drop us in Hong Kong, could you go to Switzerland for Swift? I may need him.
With pleasure.
I failed to thank Madge the last time I visited her.
Collette, Ling and I are old adversaries.
He'll say nothing in front of me.
So, he's the one that you want me to see alone? You know he's a practicing degenerate.
The stories of what he's done to women But it's worth the risk, if that's what you need from me.
Spinal injuries are common in this kind of situation.
If you will look right here, at the three lower vertebrae, there's pretty severe damage.
Not really enough left to be operable.
Then there's compound fracture of the left femur and multiple fractures of metatarsals.
Bill, I have seen enough.
Russell is a total If you could just sign this stuff for me? Sure.
Excuse me.
I told you I should have talked to him alone.
This is getting us nowhere.
You know, I find these X-rays really fascinating.
Can they be retouched? I suppose it's possible.
But believe me, these breaks are real.
I had to set every one of them.
Right.
So I suppose other doctors have examined them also? Excuse me.
I have another patient.
Thanks, Bill.
What? What'd I say? Wait! Wait, wait, wait.
I was just trying to find out whether or not someone Could alter X-rays, that's all.
Betty, I have had it.
You're going home so that I can finish this investigation.
What investigation? What did they hire you for, anyway? Any insurance man could do what you're doing.
Thomas What? Aren't you forgetting something? Don't you remember Russell tried to kill you? Your lady has wandered too near the edge of the truth, Sabre.
Dispense with him.
But take the girl to my operating room.
Stop! Or I'll punch you in the square root of 18 and you all become targets for heat-seeking missiles.
Sebastian! Drop your ingenious abacus, Mr.
Sabre.
Here's one for you, Swift.
And this one's mine.
Wow.
Lucky I had a tailwind from Switzerland.
Check.
What happened to Ling? He escaped through a secret panel in the ceiling.
Never mind.
More important we return to Brussels.
Hans Leopold's life could be in danger.
Brussels.
Winston, Micheline and Helga will be pleased to see us.
Lunch for five on the jet, sir? Haven't we already had lunch? No.
You decided you didn't want to.
I am starving.
There wasn't time.
I spent an hour convincing Ronnie Meeder not to sue and another hour coming down here to the hospital.
Now, maybe we can have dinner, if you wait for me in the car.
That's not fair.
It was my idea that we come back and talk to him.
Not we, I.
I am going in there to see Russell because you have me halfway convinced that he's faking it.
But you are going to wait right here Thomas, what are you doing here? Didn't you get my message? What message? I was going to your office after Never mind.
Just don't do any more on the investigation, okay? And don't go inside.
Ronnie Meeder's in there and I have enough troubles without him seeing you two again.
Dan, now, wait a minute.
I straightened things out with Meeder.
Thomas, Russell Smythe died an hour ago.
Cause unknown.
Bill's gonna do an autopsy.
It was a blood clot in his lung.
Bills says that just happens sometimes with serious injuries.
I wanna go to bed.
Oh, that's it? You're just gonna drop it? You're not gonna try to find out which one of those men tried to kill you? Betty, when do you stop? You were wrong.
Nobody involved with Russell tried to kill me And Russell definitely wasn't faking it.
Hi, lovebirds.
Thomas, for what it's worth, a friend on the dock says a gray '83 Buick with minor fender damage got shipped to Maui yesterday.
Registered owner, Donna Jenkins, and, by the way, we need to discuss our deal on this job, right? Call me.
See? Is that fate, or what? Just when you're ready to quit, you get a big lead on the gray sedan.
Right.
I always knew Donna Jenkins was our girl, whoever she may be.
Now, Betty, please, once and for all, just drop it.
The case is closed, okay? No, it isn't.
Not for me, it isn't.
Look, just because Russell died, doesn't mean that the doctor and the attorney couldn't be running some sort of scam! No! Now, I've known Bill Su for years.
He's a reputable doctor.
That's one opinion, Thomas! If you'd have listened to me and let me talk to him alone, we would know for sure, wouldn't we? Good night, Betty.
Would you just wait.
Thomas, please, wait.
Just wait a minute, please? Wait, just wait.
Did you ever get a chance to eat? I mean, since I've taken over your kitchen and everything, the least I can do is fix us dinner.
I'm not very hungry but thank you.
It was a deeply dejected Sebastian, who sat in the sensuous morning sun, on the patio of the Sabre's Scabbard.
Few had ever witnessed the strong and secure Sebastian Sabre in self-exile, on a Ionely desolate island of defeat.
Mr.
Sabre? It's Crepes Italian, sir.
Your favorite breakfast.
What? Oh, yes, Boris, thank you, but I seem to have lost my appetite.
Borie baby.
Why don't you tell us another one of your wonderful stories? Sebastian always finds them amusing.
Yes, Mr.
Sabre.
Let me tell you about the uniquely bizarre episode I experienced while the valet of Prince Abdul Ben Assar.
The Prince discovered his favorite wife had taken a lover and ordered me to personally execute the rake Boris.
I've heard that one.
I do find it very funny, but not now.
Sebastian, please, the Leopold case is over.
You must forget it.
I can't.
I'm responsible for Hans' death, Winston.
I should have realized Dr.
Ling would silence him the moment we came too close to the truth.
Leopold died of a blood disease, the results of his burns.
Do you really believe a doctor of Ling's competence could overlook a simple blood disease? Sabre's Scabbard.
One moment.
A call sure to cheer you, sir.
Mr.
Swift.
He's back in Monte Carlo.
Sebastian, good news.
I have some interesting information regarding the Leopold case.
However, before we go any further Oh, this is so embarrassing.
My luck has seemed to have left me in the last few hours.
Swift, please, I'll wire you $50,000 immediately.
You're too generous, Sebastian.
Dr.
Ling, Jacques Arnot and Hans Leopold all own stock in Worldex Import Export Company.
And the gray Mercedes that you found registered to Worldex is actually the personal car of one Eva Leopold.
Hans' wife? The same.
I have to get back to the game now, Sebastian.
Thanks for the 50.
That's why I could never catch the King.
Winston, we're going back to Rome.
Boris, get me Vittorio at Interpol, and then call Collette and tell her we leave in ten minutes.
What's the matter? We didn't know how to tell you, sir, in your depressed state.
Sebastian, Collette took a flight to Hong Kong this morning.
Apparently, she's investigating on her own.
Collette was right.
The access code to Dr.
Ling's computer was King Solomon.
Then suddenly, there was what she needed.
Secret data on the diabolical doctor.
Forty three jewel thieves, all acquitted on medical grounds, all his patients and all defended by Jacques Arnot.
Then came Ling's financial records.
There were no less than seven diamond companies that he, Jacques Arnot, and Hans Leopold jointly owned.
But which one of them is the King? All of them.
Sebastian, Vittorio.
The King isn't one man, Collette.
It's the code name for an entire jewel theft ring.
Ling, Arnot, hundreds of others.
Even Hans Leopold before they killed him.
Hans is not dead, Mr.
Sabre.
Marcello! Angelo! Arrest them! Yes, Inspector.
There are many, even at Interpol, who are with us.
So my theory was correct.
Hans' hands were not burned.
Destroy the hands of the world's most famous diamond cutter? No, mademoiselle.
We simply had Hans' wife shoot a harmless beam at them.
And you, so close to discovering the secret, he had to die.
So unfortunately for you three, death will not be such a lucrative charade.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
If Hans can be alive, why can't Russell? Russell? Must I post a note on the door? You no longer live here.
Higgins, it makes sense.
I mean, it's a little far-fetched, but basically she's right.
You've read Betty's unfinished work? Did she give you permission? Did she ask my permission to be her hero and lover? Is something going on of which I am unaware? Higgins, where's Betty? She asked for the keys to the Audi early this morning.
Magnum.
Read Kiss of the Sabre.
It's self-explanatory.
A mystery novel? That's why you got me down here? That's your big emergency? Dan, I didn't have time to come by your office.
I wanted to get here before Betty did.
Oh, and before she got done in by the evil Dr.
Su, huh? This girl's already jeopardized your chances of ever working another case for us and now you buy this crazy story.
I don't want to believe it either, Dan, but it adds up.
Do you know how many accident cases Superior Mutual has had where Bill Su and Ronnie Meeder were both involved? Well, quite a few, I guess.
Over 50.
And all of them cut and dried, just like Russell's.
And only one doctor your company trusts to verify injuries.
Bill.
I see, so the whole hospital is getting a kickback with him, right? No, no, not the top people.
But, yeah.
There could've been enough orderlies and nurses in on the scheme to cover up the fake victims.
Dan, I just wanted to give you a chance to talk to Bill with me before I call the police, that's all.
Police? Oh, come on, wait a minute.
Thomas.
You need some proof.
Proof? Ronnie Meeder's brother-in-law owns a backhoe, just like the one that annihilated my rental car.
And Donna Jenkins just sent her damaged gray sedan to Maui.
That's Russell's ex-wife.
And beneficiary.
Look, Dan, I'm not looking forward to this any more than you are, but there is enough proof.
Nobody's looked forward to it, Thomas.
We're really sorry you had to find out.
But you have to understand, we can't let you and Betty go.
This has been a real good deal for all of us and nobody's ever been hurt but Superior Mutual Insurance, up to now.
T.
C: "Monique will be happy to see me"? How could Betty think of me as a womanizing, trigger-happy clothes hound? That's hardly as offensive as finding your dearest experiences parodied as Boris' amusing stories, or finding yourself caricatured as the servant to the master of Sabre's Scabbard.
Good God.
Well, I don't know where she got the idea for this Swift guy, but he is terrific.
I mean, I can understand why Robin is sold on her as a writer.
This girl can really turn a phrase.
Yes.
In several illiterated directions simultaneously.
However, it's the content, not the quality of her book that currently concerns me.
No, come on, Higgins.
No way that junk can be based on anything serious enough to cause any real problems.
Based on Magnum's reaction to it, I have to disagree.
T.
C.
, I think he's right.
There's all sorts of stuff in here straight from Thomas' hit-and-run case.
Yes, and if Betty's naiveté as an authoress carries over into her sleuthing, there's every possibility that somehow she and Magnum are living the jeopardy of her final page.
Well, we better break this plot down or hope for some more clues.
Why bother? I'll just go warm up the jet and we'll hop over to Rome and perform our usual daring rescue.
T.
C.
, please.
Betty has been gone for over 24 hours, Magnum for 18.
I think we must try any possible avenue that will determine their whereabouts.
Maui's not that hard to find.
This part is.
You're in a very remote part of the island where nobody, I mean nobody's gonna find you.
Or you, right, Russell? Why don't you lay off the subject of my untimely death, huh, Magnum? Since you and your meddlesome girlfriend here are the cause of it.
Where's Bill and the others? They just taking off and leaving us to you? No.
No, see, they're having a meeting.
DR.
LING: For the purpose of deciding your fate.
I'm sure my men will enjoy cutting Mr.
Sabre into shark-sized bites, and casting him into the sea.
And Signorina Collette? Collette, I have a confession to make.
I was concerned about your welfare and I I read your diary on the way to Hong Kong.
You did a beautiful job.
All the pieces of the puzzle were there, and the things you wrote about us, well I never knew I meant so much to you.
Don't give up hope, Collette.
Boris has the diary.
Let us just hope that Collette was correct about the secret passage in Ling's roof.
Can we hit that small a target? It will be difficult from 38,000 feet, but not impossible with Winston's precise calculations.
Winston.
Yes, Swift? How long before we go in? T.
C: We could roam around here forever.
Do you know how many houses there are on Maui? Not many with a backhoe and a gray sedan outside.
Orville T.
C.
, I know for a fact that that backhoe was shipped over here and the gray sedan, too.
Why else but to hide them? T.
C.
, why are you flying around the southern tip? I told you, the tax appraiser's office locates Dr.
Su's cottage somewhere in the north.
T.
C: Will you just let me do the flying? T.
C: This is crazy.
I am setting down and calling the police.
And have them do what? Read Kiss of the Sabre? T.
C.
, please, fly north.
Thanks, guys.
It really means a lot to us.
One minute, Thomas.
That's all we can give you.
I'm sorry.
Well, that's better than nothing.
We just want to say goodbye.
We really care about each other.
Hey.
Wait a minute.
Why are we leaving these people alone? They're not going nowhere, they're tied up.
Come on.
Thank you.
All right, Betty, I think you should know that I have no great heroic way of getting us out of this.
I'm wide open for suggestions.
What would Sebastian Sabre do? You read it? Oh, my God, I could die.
Yes, you could! Oh, my God.
We could! So will you use that wild imagination and help me think of something to get us out of this door safely.
A candle.
Sebastian would hold his ropes over the flame until they burned in two and then he'd pretend to still be tied up.
And then he would jump all four of them, when they came back in.
Betty, look around you.
Do you see a candle anywhere in this room? And only the Sebastian Sabre would be dumb enough to jump four people all by himself.
He's not dumb.
He's confident.
Criminals aren't.
Any man with real self-confidence could handle four insecure killers.
Thomas, come on.
No more time.
Come on, Meeder, you're an attorney.
What's the difference between the penalties for insurance rip-offs and two counts of murder one? Oh, well, don't think that we didn't discuss that, Magnum.
We figure we have to take the chance.
Dan, I mean, I'm starting to get a little scared.
You're not double-crossing me, are you? What is he talking about? Beats the hell out of me.
You know, there's a copy of that statement that goes to the police, if I don't get back.
What statement? My written statement exposing this whole operation.
Dan bought my silence in exchange for his promise that I could become a partner.
We just set up this little trip to reduce the size of management.
Come on.
Can't you see he's winging it to stay alive? Really? He sounds pretty sure of himself for a guy who's about to be killed.
Nobody asked for your opinion, Russell.
Yeah, well, I'm giving it, okay? I mean, if you guys had done away with him with the backhoe instead of just trying to scare him Hey! Stop it.
Just get these two in the car.
No, not until I figure this statement thing out.
Russell, there is no statement! Damn it! Stop flailing that gun around.
Don't do it, Russell.
Now, Russell Give me that gun before you hurt Get it.
Go on, get it! Five, four, three, two one.
Good luck, Boris.
Oh, my God! There it is, T.
C.
There's the backhoe.
Chopper! Let's get out of here! T.
C: Thomas! Lucky I got the tailwind from Oahu.
Betty.
Rick's waiting.
All right, thanks.
I hope you know that I wanted to take you to the airport personally, but I'm already late for a meeting on a case.
Listen, I straightened everybody out about our You know, our relationship.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty funny them thinking that we I mean, we never even made it to dinner.
You know, I think Robin was right about your talent.
I just I feel that you need to Try a different approach? Right.
You know, I was considering a romance novel.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
What do you think about the name Collette Crystal? Oh, it's okay.
I like Betty Windom a lot better.
Why don't you just start over and write one in her name? I gotta run.
Another insurance case.
And you know how tricky these little insurance cases can be.
Collette knew that Sebastian was right.
The diary must be destroyed.
The King Solomon syndicate was not finished, only severed into pieces by the Sabre's slash.
To have the diary in the hands of the remaining Solomites would be fatal to all concerned.
It hurt to watch her pages of passion fight for their life and die on the outgoing tide, but it was what Sebastian wanted.
And she never refused him anything.