Magnum, P.I. (1980) s07e01 Episode Script

L.A. (1)

One of the first things my grandfather taught me was about the American dream.
To some folks, he said, it's staying at home, watching the grandchildren grow up.
To others it's traveling to exotic, faraway lands.
To some it's owning fancy cars and big houses.
But one thing was for certain.
Whatever their version of the American dream, a lot of people were willing to go to great lengths to get it.
Hey! Hey! All right, we're in business! Yeah, we did it, man.
We did it.
All right, yeah.
You never said we were gonna go steal a car.
Well, what did you think we were gonna do? You said we were gonna go pick one up for your uncle.
I didn't mean a real uncle.
You gonna help us, or what? You lied to me, Ray.
Hey, cut it out, man.
Hey, come on.
Take it easy.
I'm getting out of here.
Nobody held a gun to your head.
My own definition of the American dream changed a lot over the years.
First there was playing baseball for the Detroit Tigers.
By the time I left for Vietnam, that had changed to a wife, a house, and a family, and I knew that's what life had in store for me, because everybody was supposed to get their version of the American dream.
Look, it was great meeting you, but What about coming to the club tonight? I don't know.
I You said you didn't have anything to do.
That isn't what I said exactly.
All right, all right.
All right, you said you were gonna go to the hotel and watch TV.
The flight to LA is a long flight.
Now, I've got all this business to take care of tomorrow, and I don't know.
But nothing absolutely, positively urgent tonight? No, nothing urgent.
No.
Well, you're going to miss a great opportunity for a truly spontaneous good time.
I bet you're the kind of guy who could never just say, "Aw, what the hell.
" I do.
Sometimes.
You can miss out on a lot in life unless you're willing to say, "Aw, what the hell.
" Little old for you, isn't he? Yeah.
Yeah, he's probably 40 if he's a day.
Oh, that's my suitcase.
Could you get that? Yeah.
Yeah, just get that.
Thanks.
My mom got this for me the first time I came to LA to make the big time.
Last chance, say yes.
A truly spontaneous good time? We'll grab a cab.
That way you won't get lost.
Come on.
Come on.
One, two, three.
Tigers! All right! Let's go, let's go.
Hey, Kenny, Kenny, where's Ray? I don't know.
You don't know? You guys go everywhere together.
Mark.
Mark.
Get out there and take Ray's place.
Let's do, Mark.
Let's go, buddy.
Kenny, I want to talk to you after the game.
Play ball! Higgins, this is great.
We did $325 just in gate receipts alone.
I'm sure the Anglo-Hawaiian Home for Incorrigible Boys will be most gratified.
I know I said that we'd make a killing, but you gotta admit one thing.
Hey, has Ray Kalama been up here getting free candy bars again? Who? Ray Kalama.
He's my best hitter.
He plays third base.
He's You know, Oh, yes.
He's the one who made off with our entire allotment of jujubes last year.
He was having a rough time.
He's doing better this year.
No, I haven't seen him.
They're not gonna be real happy down at the halfway house, T.
C.
, if he doesn't show up.
He'll be here.
Foul ball! Strike two! All right, hey, let's go! I gotta get back to my seat.
It's too bad you gotta fill in for Thomas, Higgins.
You're gonna miss the whole game.
Well, I suppose when Mr.
Masters calls, we must all sacrifice.
So where did Thomas go, anyway? Hot dogs.
Peanuts.
Get your red-hots here.
Bali? Hotdogs.
Peanuts.
Morocco? Get your red-hots here.
South of France? Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Marti Jensen! Thank you.
Thank you.
Don't you just love nighttime? See, I was born a night person.
Literally.
See, I was born at midnight, and I just naturally thought, well, that's when the day began.
So there I was, five.
I was already a nighttime junkie, and I used to sneak down the stairs to the basement where my dad had this portable TV, and watch Night Owl Theater.
So there I was, sitting three inches away from the television screen so I could keep the sound down low when I saw the movie that probably changed my life.
Hookers in Hell! Lila, why do you always give her the 8:15 slot? Because she makes me laugh.
You saw it, too! Well, for those of you who didn't, Hookers in Hell is an opera about a psychopathic killer who hunts down all the hookers in Hollywood and stabs them to death.
It's kind of like a comedy.
And it goes something like this.
The hookers.
Hooker one.
Where are you going? Look out behind you They're coming after us What do we do now? I don't know But I have a funny feeling We're in trouble! What a week.
I mean, I win this trip to Hawaii, and then Lila gives me the 8:15 spot, and then you come around and buy me a deluxe combination kitchen-sink pizza from Signorelli's.
I mean, my life is complete.
Well.
Oh, boy.
Where do you get your energy? I better take you home.
No, that's okay.
I mean, you could It's a long drive, and you're tired.
No, I'm not that tired.
Well, I meant with the time zone change and all.
It's three hours earlier in Hawaii.
Oh, right.
Wait, wait.
Couldn't I just stay here? I could sleep on your sofa.
I hate to go home alone by myself late at night.
I'll stay right here on your sofa.
And And I don't snore.
Well, not very loud, anyway.
Please? Look, I know when you get older you need your own space and things.
Oh, I'm not that old.
I'll get you a blanket.
You mean it? All right.
You take the bedroom and I'm gonna sleep on the couch.
You're gonna give me the bed? Well, it's the least I can do.
I had a truly spontaneous good time.
Thanks.
Sleep tight.
Look out behind you Marti? Marti? Marti? Marti? Marti.
I had an idea that Marti's version of the American dream included fame and fortune.
I wondered why the turn in the road had brought her here.
McKEE: Where's the P.
I.
That called this in? Private investigator.
Thomas Magnum.
Detective McKee.
Did you get a make on the guy that did this? The perpetrator escaped before the witness could get a good look.
Any idea why he didn't stick around to take care of you? If you mean, was he after me? No one even knew I was in LA.
I got a full report while we were waiting.
I came in.
I heard a noise outside, I ran to the window, I saw this car pulling away.
It's in the report.
That's all you got? That's all.
Okay.
Be sure to let us know where you are, in case we need to get in touch with you.
Any sign of struggle? There were no shells.
It's probably a revolver.
Why don't you find yourself another hotel room, pal? We're about to seal this one off.
McKEE: Skin, hair? Anything like that? No, sir.
What are you doing to find him? You're assuming he's still alive.
What do you assume? He hasn't been seen since the shooting.
That's not a good sign.
What the hell would he be doing here? Hey, I know you're close to these kids.
Yeah, but he isn't into that kind of stuff.
Not Kenny.
You never know.
Look, your father deserts you when you're a baby Hey, a lot of kids come from broken homes.
That doesn't mean they get involved with stuff like this.
Okay, okay.
So what are you doing to find him? The only trail we have at the moment is a rival chop shop gang.
Oh, so you think they'd use murder as a warning.
That's all we have.
Look, the administrator of the halfway house said he thought Kenny would come to you.
Frankly, I don't hold out much hope.
But if you should hear from him I'm not gonna wait for him to find me.
Hey, T.
C.
, these guys knew what they were doing.
Missing Persons got an APB out, but my gut feeling is we won't ever see Kenny or the shooters again.
Well, I think we will.
And cut! Looking good.
It's looking real good, guys.
John, did we get that? A thing of beauty, boss.
That's a print! Let's move on, boys.
All right, you heard him, boys, you heard him.
Next setup, please.
Let's move.
All right, atmosphere, over by the van.
I said atmosphere over by the van.
Oh.
No, I'm not.
I'm looking for a friend.
Then you better try the telephone.
You know how you extras are.
Cindy Farrell.
Her office said I could find her here.
Then you're not one of the extras? No.
Ralph, where are my extras? Right away, right away.
Why do you want to see our lawyer? Well, to tell you the truth, Cindy and I were high school sweethearts, and we kind of lost track of each other over the years.
I don't know.
I got this business trip to LA.
And I thought I know this sounds corny, it really sounds corny but I just wanted to say hi.
See how she was doing, you know, and Okay.
What did you say your name was again? Howard Wescott.
Okay.
Why don't you wait right there.
Thank you.
Hi.
Hello.
You are Cynthia Farrell, aren't you? People, I said over by the van.
Yes.
I think this belongs to you.
Oh, damn it! How did you know about Howard? Professional secret.
I manage to elude four process servers, and they send you in with a story about Howard Wescott.
Well, thank you, Miss Farrell.
Well, I'm not gonna take this lying down.
I intend to fight.
That's entirely up to you.
All the way.
And believe me, playboy, jet-setter Robin Masters is gonna come out on the losing side, Look, Miss Farrell not just in the courts but in the press and in the hearts and minds of Americans everywhere.
The hearts and minds? When they find out that multimillionaire Robin Masters is trying to put this small, struggling movie company They stole his book! That's his opinion.
And anybody else's who can read.
Don't you dare get patronizing with me, you conniving, double-talking civil servant! Civil servant? Yeah! I'm not a civil servant, lady.
I just deliver the papers.
You wanna behave like some hysterical three-year-old that Oh, hysterical? Don't you dare call me hys terical.
Hey, come on.
We're having a fight here.
Oh.
Is something wrong? No.
No.
It's smog.
You were accusing me of being hysterical.
It kind of runs in the family.
Well, it's It was a dirty trick, pretending to be Howard.
Howard.
Yeah.
Well.
Goodbye.
I knew I should have stayed home today.
I already checked there.
That's what I meant.
I'd always thought of LA as the city of dreams.
The place you go when you want your fantasies to come true.
Apparently 10 million other people agreed with me.
Some of those dreams must have come true, but I couldn't help but notice that too many others had been buried beneath the smog and the congested freeways of a city that had sprawled out of control.
I didn't know if Marti's dreams had come true.
And maybe that's why I couldn't just walk away.
I hardly knew her, but I couldn't let her become just another forgotten case in an overworked police detective's file.
Goodbye.
Bye, man.
Please fasten your seatbelt.
Please fasten your seatbelt.
Your trunk is open.
Your hood latch is undone.
Your door is ajar.
Your door is ajar.
Your door is ajar.
Your door is There was something about Marti's place that felt familiar, although I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Maybe it was the palm trees or the fancy car in the driveway.
Something made me feel like I'd been here before.
Don't look at the dogs, work the lock.
Work the lock.
Don't look at the dogs.
You looked at the dogs.
It didn't take a world-class private investigator to figure out what was going on.
It was pretty obvious that Marti was living in the estate's guest house, sponging off some good-natured millionaire, while she tried to decide which direction her life was taking.
But then, I've never been one to judge how anyone else lived their life.
The important thing was I'd found where Marti was living, and I was hoping that something there would point me in the direction of her killer.
But for some reason the direction kept turning toward a friend of hers.
A friend who had already died.
Keep your hands where I can see them.
Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my house? Hi, Lila.
You don't know me Don't move.
You're under arrest.
This better be good.
What the hell were you doing in her house? Well, I just thought it was kind of strange that some friend of Marti's, also a comic, also an employee of the Comedy Hangout, just happens to die two weeks ago.
Don't you think there might be a connection there? That kid was whacked out of his mind.
The only connection is that your little girlfriend was his dealer She's not my girlfriend.
Well, whatever.
And I don't think she's anybody's dealer.
She's not the type.
Not the type.
Let me clue you in on something here, okay? We got a drug problem in this city.
We got guys selling coke to junior high school kids off of ice-cream trucks.
I picked up a 19-year-old girl last week who knifed somebody over $100 worth of crack.
Where you think she lived? I don't like drugs any more than you do.
Where do you think she lived? Beverly Hills.
You think that's an isolated case? Marti Jensen ripped off somebody, and they're sending a message.
It's that simple.
Over, done with, and on to the next party.
How do you know that? How do you know that? Did you find any drugs on her? In her place? You got a better idea? Look, if that's all it was, drugs, why are they following me? Who's following you? Well, I don't know.
There was this guy at the airport.
Marti was kind of watching him.
He was a good-looking guy.
I didn't think anything of it at the time.
But he got in this blue Town Car, and then today on my way to Marti's, I saw what could have been the same blue Town Car behind me.
You got a description of this guy? He was about 40, 6'1", 6'2", 180, athletic build.
He had light brown hair.
There was just something real distinctive about him.
That's him.
That's him.
Who is he? Anton Peters.
We think he's a major drug supplier, but vice has never been able to get anything on him.
If we could somehow connect him with Marti's death I want you to go to a safe house.
I've got a couple of things to do, and then I'll meet you there.
I can find my own place to stay.
Thanks anyway.
I have a real lousy bedside manner.
I'd like to think it's 'cause of the job, but the truth is, I'd be as big a jerk if I was a pediatrician.
I'm sorry.
No, don't apologize.
I can see why you wouldn't want to do anything that I say, but I'm asking you, please take this address and go there.
I'm going after Peters and I need your help.
And the last thing I'd wanna do is come I.
D.
You in the morgue.
Look, it's my house.
You'll be safe there.
Together maybe we can get the guy who killed Marti Jensen.
There's something about being in the other team's home town that can throw you off your game just a bit.
I knew if I were in Hawaii there were some questions I'd have asked McKee before I left him.
Like why he hadn't bothered going over to the Comedy Hangout to look for any clues? Like why had I beat him to Marti's house? And why was he suddenly so interested in having my help in the case? Come on.
Let's get out of here! I didn't know where else to go.
Earlier tonight, the peaceful quiet of this Margate neighborhood erupted in violence.
Witnesses say that around 9:15 the sound of automatic gunfire was heard emanating from this house.
Now, although the area That should take care of any infection.
Officials say that this incident cannot be linked to the earlier episodes.
What they are not saying is that the shooting You know, it's great, you taking me in like this.
But I could be putting you in danger.
I don't think it's fair for me to stay here.
I never said you could.
David, I'm standing outside the home of Los Angeles police detective Sam McKee, where two armed gunmen went on a shooting spree approximately three hours ago.
This rental car, photographed shortly after the incident, was apparently the only casualty.
The driver is still unaccounted for, and police are withholding his identity at this time.
Happy birthday.
Police officials contacted declined to be interviewed Sorry I'm late.
What makes you think you're late? Because I always am.
Just go ahead, open it.
Los Angeles vice department moved into the Margate neighborhood A card.
"To Bill, love always, Squeakie.
" Give me that! "Squeakie"? It's someone else.
Thank you, Angela.
In connection with that case, we have just learned that Detective Sam McKee was found murdered this evening.
Shot to death in his car in his precinct parking lot, shortly after the shootout at his Margate home.
Police investigators are claiming McKee's death and the earlier shootout are unrelated.
You have some reason to believe these kids were involved in drugs? I'm saying that maybe they stole the wrong car.
Got into something they didn't even know was going on.
If there were drugs in this car, whoever came after them would have found them.
Maybe not.
I don't think this is cleanser.
Cocaine, Lieutenant? Looks like somebody tried to get rid of it in a hurry.
You think Kenny knew about this? No, but the guys that are looking for it probably think he did.
We can't assume they're still looking for him.
If he's alive, he's a witness to two murders, and he can still ID them.
There's no way they're gonna let him live.
Where is that kid? Do you have a gun? No.
God, no.
I wouldn't even know where to get one.
It's the coffee.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Look, suppose Marti followed the drug flow to Hawaii.
That's a giant assumption, I know, but we could assume that she was following Peters.
And it's possible that all the bits and pieces that she put together are related.
So, a kid commits suicide, maybe, and Marti shows up in Hawaii.
So does Peters.
But where does Lila fit in? And what about Jesse Hermano? Why is she carrying his picture around? What am I doing? What the hell am I doing? There are a bunch of lunatics out there trying to kill you, and we're acting like it's just another Saturday night.
What else can we do? Call the police.
I tried that.
Well, try again.
I know this cop.
His name is Frank Danton.
I met him when I was working in the DA's office, my last year in law school.
And I could just call him first thing in the morning.
Do you really want this coffee? No.
Me neither.
Excuse me.
I need to borrow your car.
Now? You won't reconsider the police? Guess we'll just have to do it your way, then.
What are you doing? Driving.
I can't let you do that.
It's not safe.
Do you think that I'm gonna trust you to drive my car? I saw what you did to that last car you had.
Well, you're not coming with me.
That's absolutely final.
So whatever happened to old Howard? Well, he left college early to go join a mission in Guatemala.
He wanted me to come with him, but I was too afraid to go so far away from home.
So I became a dental hygienist.
It was a much safer thing to do.
And what about Bill? Oh, there comes someone.
That's Lila.
Please don't say follow that car.
Jesse, it's Lila.
So what now? Well, we could stay here, or I could try and get a little closer and see who she's meeting.
It would be a lot safer to wait.
Don't go anywhere.
Listen, about kissing you earlier I'm sorry if I You know, I didn't mean to.
You know, I I didn't mind you kissing me.
I just I didn't know what to do.
Oh.
Well.
I had a feeling that Lila was gonna lead me right to the players behind the drug ring.
I suspected Anton Peters was the man behind the iron gates.
The person I didn't expect to see was Jesse Hermano.
Thomas.
Cynthia, no.
My God! Get to the car.
Pick me up in front of the house.
But where are you going? The scenic route.
Did they get the license plate number? It's dark.
But what if they got the license plate number? I don't know.
They didn't kill us.
They didn't kill us! Do you think now we could call the police? What made you decide to go to law school? I don't know.
You know, I just woke up one morning and I realized that I had been I was 28 and I'd never really been 18.
What? I mean, I had been a dental hygienist for eight years, and it didn't look like Howard was gonna come back from Guatemala and suddenly decide to marry me.
And I'd missed everything.
I mean, college.
The '70s.
Being part of the "Me" generation.
Struggling to balance career and motherhood.
You know, all the good stuff.
So I wrote to Howard, and I told him that I was quitting my job, and that I was coming to Guatemala to live with him.
What'd he say? He wrote back, and he told me that there were a few things he'd been meaning to tell me.
And he also sent along pictures of his wife and six kids.
Sounds like he'd been real busy.
Yeah.
You know, it's funny, Howard never had that much energy when I knew him.
So I cried for about and then I resolved never again to sit around and wait for somebody else to make my life exciting.
So you became a lawyer? Yeah, I thought it would open up a few doors.
So far my practice has consisted mostly of dentists I knew before I went back to school.
But putting together this movie deal is really a big opportunity for me.
What about Bill? There's Frank.
Oh, he got a promotion.
Undercover.
Undercover.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You think McKee was a dirty cop? I don't know if he was or not.
I only know that nobody else knew I was going to his house.
Well, who else would have set up the shooting? Some people think maybe you did.
Think maybe Sam was onto something and you set up the kill.
Which is why they started shooting at Thomas.
That makes a lot of sense.
He's still walking around.
Sam isn't.
Oh, don't give me this ridiculous blood brothers garbage.
No one is above reproach just because they wear a badge.
I'm just telling you what I hear, that's all.
Did you find anything on the Peters case? Found a file.
Nothing in it.
Nothing.
Look, you wanna come downtown, you wanna file a report Thanks a lot, Frank.
Wait a minute.
There is one thing.
I don't know if this guy can help you, but he used to be one of Sam's informants.
His name is Eddy.
You can usually find him at the Fifth Street Bar.
He's a real slime, and I doubt if he can give you anything, but you never can tell.
Hey, Eddy.
Where you going? Slow down.
My friend and I wanna buy you a drink.
Who are you? Sam McKee sent us.
I don't know any Sam McKee.
Really? That's very strange.
'Cause he knows you.
Nope.
See, unfortunately, Eddy, Sam left a little present for you at the police department.
It's a record of all cash receipts for paid informant Eddy Rentzel.
You know, you've been making some pretty good money, Eddy.
October 4, $50, August 4, $50.
Wow! Here's one for $300.
No.
He never gave me $300 for nothing.
That's a lie.
I can't talk here.
All my friends, they'd think I was a fink.
McKee never told me nothing.
Eddy.
Honest to God.
But you hear things, you know? Well, what'd you hear? Well, there was this shipment, cocaine, coming in from the south.
I heard it was some kind of rush job, and that McKee was running protection on it, you know.
When was it due to arrive? I don't know for sure.
Where? I don't know.
I don't know! Well, you think you could find out? Well, maybe we could talk to a few people.
Tell them what you told us.
Oh, you're asking a lot for $50.
Okay, we'll go somewhere else.
Wait.
You don't tell anybody where this came from.
Not a soul.
I'll see what I can do.
Come back tomorrow.
You gonna be needing that bottle? A record of cash receipts? They don't keep records of paid informants.
I know.
They'd never pay him $300, either.
So, where to next? Well, I'm gonna drop you off at your house, then pay a visit to Jesse Hermano.
How are you gonna get in to see him? I'll think of something.
Good.
I don't mind tagging along.
No.
Not this time.
It's too dangerous.
You're not going.
Absolutely not.
Mmm-mmm.
Hello.
You know, I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I have been jogging by your house every day for two weeks now, hoping that I'd run into you.
You're kidding.
You probably think I'm terrible.
No, no, no.
Listen, you gotta do what you gotta do to get ahead in this business.
I'm surprised I didn't see you before.
You know, I'm I can't believe that you would take time from your busy schedule to talk to me about my little movie.
No, I want you to know that I really, really appreciate it.
I don't even know where to begin.
Am I making you nervous? Oh, no, no.
Not at all.
So I tell you, though, the hairiest one was in Jonestown.
I didn't think we were gonna get out of there alive.
Did you see the special I did on that? Oh, yeah.
Oh, that was really something.
Something.
Yes.
Yes.
Excuse me.
I gotta do something about this.
I'll be right back.
Don't go away! What's the matter with you, boy? What's the matter with you? You're acting like a lunatic.
Damn it! This one has the earliest date, so let's start here.
Hmm.
Oh, my God! Get that out of there! Squeakie, I presume? I thought I changed that tape.
Well, I think we have time to look at one tape before we really get down to work.
Yeah, well, fortunately it won't be that one.
Listen, I know this is none of my business, Squeakie, but how come you never gave Bill his birthday present? I discovered I didn't like snorkeling.
Hey, florist.
Oh, no, you keep it.
Hang it over there.
T.
C.
, any luck? I'm afraid I came up empty-handed as well.
Well, we'll just keep looking.
He's gotta come up for air sooner or later, and when he does, somebody'll see him.
Look, Kenny is not dead.
We cannot start thinking like that.
No, of course not.
Look, give us some more of those flyers, and we'll meet back here at 6:00.
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
Hey, T.
C.
, don't you worry.
We'll find him.
I'm standing in front of the National Cathedral, where Miguel Delgado and his family come to worship.
Critics from the Blanca Rosa regime claim ties with Fidel Castro, and paint this brutal picture of world-wide terrorism and Communist takeover.
Well, nothing could be further from the truth.
Miguel Delgado, placed in office by free election, may not serve the best interest of corporate America, but neither is he to be construed as a puppet of Fidel Castro, a stooge of the Soviets.
He's defending Miguel Delgado.
It's not an unpopular stance, especially for the press.
The guy's a dictator and he supports terrorists.
Just because they choose to look the other way doesn't make it right.
Are you nervous? No.
Old love letters from Bill? Confetti.
Ah-ha! For the New Year's Eve scene where Marla breaks down and confesses that the baby she's carrying isn't Todd's.
You read our script.
No, I read Robin's book.
Come on, I thought you had prop men for that sort of stuff.
I told you, we're low budget.
Everybody has to chip in.
Well, then, give me a stack.
Oh, come on, give me a stack.
I can watch and tear at the same time.
All right, you get "luminous products" through "thrift shops.
" Well, ladies and gentlemen, as you can see You're tearing up your own phone book? The new one's due out.
This is the only way they can do it right now.
This is Jesse Hermano.
AdiĆ³s.
Pavlovich.
Gesundheit.
No, no.
Sergei Pavlovich.
And Chetvirukin.
What's his first name? I don't know.
The people of Anatol Chetvirukin and Sergei Pavlovich.
Russians.
KGB, last time I heard.
So much for Jesse's theory about Delgado not being a stooge of the Kremlin.
Maybe he didn't know who they were.
Oh, he knows, all right.
Take a look at this.
There, you see that light signal? Yes.
Okay.
There it is again.
He's planning to edit out this segment.
Well, ladies and gentlemen I'd say Jesse has a big stake in Delgado's success, wouldn't you? Enough to doctor a tape to drum up support.
I wonder what other kind of support he's giving Delgado? Money? Selling product for him? Cocaine? Do you know how risky that is? Sometimes you get hooked on political conviction.
Well, it's a great theory, but hardly enough to get an arrest warrant.
Yeah, I know.
Do you have a camera? If you are going to use my camera, you are going to have to take me with you.
And don't try to talk me out of it, because it's not going to work this time.
I wasn't going to.
You're so far in now, you're safer with me.
How do you work this little thing? You hold this up to your eye, you look through this little hole, and you press this little button.
You don't have to wind it.
It does it for you.
Gee, you don't get to do anything yourself anymore.
Hey, map to the stars' homes? What? No.
Thomas! Jesse's meeting Eddy.
Hey, it's only $1.
35.
No! Come on, come on.
Give the little lady a thrill? All right, fine, here.
Keep the change.
All right! Thanks.
Hey, have a nice day.
Look out! Are you all right? Do you ever have any trouble getting car insurance? Oh, wow, like, I'm really sorry! I was, like, listening to INXS on my radio, you know.
I mean, like, you're just driving your car one minute, listening to your absolute favorite song, and, like, the next minute Are you okay? Well, yeah, like, physically and everything.
It's just cosmically I'm a little freaked out, you know.
I mean, you could be, like, listening to your absolute favorite song one minute, and the next minute, like, oh, my God Like, aren't we supposed to exchange driver's licenses or answering services or something? We still don't have a smoking gun.
Well, we've got the tapes and the photographs.
That's something, at least.
Who is it? Do they always deliver your new phone books by hand? No.
They usually leave them on the front porch.
Come on.
Well, if your son hears from Kenny, will you let me know? Thanks, Mrs.
Acuna.
I was driving by and saw the light.
I take it there's been no word.
No.
As irritating as old platitudes can be, I suppose there is some comfort in "No news is good news.
" Would you like some tea or something? No, no.
I won't keep you.
If there's anything else I can do I'll call.
Please.
Thanks.
This is it.
I have had it.
I am perfectly happy to find you a place to hide out, but just as soon as I can get ahold of Frank, I am putting you in his care, and then I am going away! Going away? Where? Who cares? Anywhere! Thanks to you, I probably don't even have a movie to make anymore.
I should have known you weren't Howard.
Howard never called me Cindy! Oh, come on Never! Maybe we can work something out about the movie.
Would this something involve shooting and guns? No.
Did Howard call you Squeakie? Oh, come on.
I'm just asking.
I'm sorry.
What happened to my fearless companion? My Watson? My Mrs.
North? My Tonto? Over here.
Look, Cindy.
Cynthia.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drag you into this.
I know how hard it is on you, believe me.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry that my movie company can't afford a trailer for you to hide out in.
You're No, you're right.
You gotta talk about it.
It's fine.
Yell at me again if you want.
It's fine.
Go ahead.
I have absolutely no interest in yelling at you.
I am an adult.
You are an adult.
I think that we can calmly and rationally agree that as long as I am anywhere near you, my life is in extreme danger.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
Nobody works here on the weekends.
There's a guard full-time at the gate.
There's not a safer place for you to be.
Hold it right there! Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't realize it was you.
Sorry to disturb you.
Good night.
Who did he think you were? Cynthia, can I have a little light here? Cynthia, you He thought you were Burt Reynolds? He thought that you were Burt Reynolds.
Look at this.
This place is great.
He thought you were Burt Reynolds.
Well, what's so shocking about that? But you don't look anything like Burt Reynolds.
I don't know, I see a certain resemblance.
Well, yeah, you You do both have mustaches.
You know, I really I really don't see what's so funny.
Those guys were really shooting at us.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, my God! I have never been so scared in my life! Come here.
It's okay.
Hello.
Hello, Mrs.
Torie? This is Theodore Calvin, Mark's Babe Ruth League coach.
Has he been missing practice? No, no, no.
I was wondering I need to talk to him.
I left a couple of messages with his sister, but he never returned them.
No.
He works three afternoons a week.
Yeah, at the Blue Orchid Florist.
But he's home now.
I'll get him for you.
Mrs.
Torie, did he go to work today? No, he said he had something more important to do.
Coach! They killed him, T.
C.
They killed Ray.
They killed him.
Yeah.
It's okay, son.
You're gonna be okay.
Aloha, gentlemen.
You're under arrest! On the ground.
On the ground! Hey, Kenny.
Where's your van? Oh, it's across town.
After Mark told me where you were, I worked out a little switch with Lieutenant Tanaka.
Let's go.
Illegal firearms, resisting arrest, suspicion of murder, not bad for a night's work.
A trapeze artist, I think that was my first dream.
And then I wanted to be a teacher.
I knew it.
You couldn't possibly have known I wanted to be a teacher.
No, I mean I knew old Burt would have Fig Newtons.
I just knew it.
I guess we got a lot in common.
I guess so.
You want some? Sure.
Why not live a little? And then Then I wanted to be a devastatingly seductive woman who had dozens of men dangling on a string.
I think that was the week I hit puberty.
You know, that's the trouble between men and women.
Timing.
Just when girls are thinking about being devastatingly seductive, boys are thinking about playing professional baseball with the Detroit Tigers.
Hopefully that changes.
So, what happened to your dreams? I'm not sure.
Why didn't you ever get married? Why didn't you? I don't know.
My mother's been married four times.
Mmm.
Got a little confusing.
Not to mention expensive on Father's Day.
I guess I just didn't want to make the same mistakes like she did.
And then lately, I guess, nobody's asked.
So, your turn.
Why didn't you ever get married? I did.
Oh, my God.
Me and my stupid assumptions.
You know, that is why I could never be a trial lawyer.
I make these huge assumptions based on little or no information.
You're married now.
No.
Well, not exactly.
Hey, you're a married man? No, I'm not.
It's just that I've always kind of, well, sort of considered myself married.
I knew it.
But I'm not.
I'm not married.
Well, here we are, huh? Two hopeless romantics, without a picket fence between us.
Would you like a picket fence? Hello.
Frank, you called back! Yes, I know that I called you six times.
Look, we have to see you right away.
We have photos and we have these tapes and maybe Cynthia, listen.
Cynthia.
Oh, it's Eddy Rentzel.
It's that informant that you sent us to.
Cynthia.
Oh, and look, he's our only chance, but I think that Thomas thinks that he would Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, we'll come in tomorrow.
Okay.
Thanks a lot.
Eddy? They found him in a garbage can.
Nobody has the right to do that to somebody else.
No matter who they are.
How could they do that? It's gonna stop.
It has to stop.
I would like a 12-gauge pump-action riot gun, with an 18-inch barrel, a magazine extender, and four boxes of O- O buck.
Double-aught? Right.
Double-aught.
You know, I'm gonna have to see a driver's license or some other proof of residency.
Here you go.
Thanks.
You need a riot gun? Gophers.
You have a permit for this? This is all there is.
Oh, Lila, I don't want your money.
I just wanna tell you a couple of jokes.
Did you hear the one about the traveling cocaine salesman? What the hell do you want? Oh, you're gonna like this.
Stop me if you've heard it.
It seems like he's got a couple of partners.
People who could really cause him a lot of trouble if they talked.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Lila, Lila.
And I'd like you to leave.
You are throwing off my timing.
Now, things were going along great until this sweet little girl found out about their evil doings, and they killed her.
Case closed.
Except this friend of hers decided he wasn't gonna let them get away with it.
That's the part I play.
What part does she play? Bonnie Parker.
Now, things started falling apart for the traveling cocaine salesman when the investigator, me, started getting closer and closer, because somebody talked.
It wasn't me.
No.
So he starts killing everybody he suspects.
Bang.
Bang.
I'm not telling you anything.
No, here's the punchline.
He doesn't know that.
It must be my delivery.
I never could tell a joke, Bonnie.
Anyway, here's what I think we should do.
I think we should call Anton Peters.
I think we should call him and tell him the good news.
That we have found the leak.
He won't believe you.
Do you really want to take that chance? Look, he'll kill me.
Not if he's in jail.
Where's the exchange taking place? I don't know! Lila, the joke's over.
What do I have to do, dial 9 to get out? Look, you don't understand.
He's going to kill me! Yeah, I understand.
Look, I mean, I can't make you any promises, but I've worked on a lot of these cases before, and I'm sure that you can get police protection.
I mean, maybe even immunity.
I had nothing to do with Marti's death.
So that makes your case that much stronger.
There's two scenarios.
You can tell us where the meeting's taking place.
You stay here and keep quiet, and he never has to know you talked, or I place the call.
Where's Frank? He'll be here.
I left a message for him at his office.
Where's Frank? Thomas, it's going down.
What're we gonna do? They're making the exchange.
Who's that with Jesse? Anton Peters.
Here.
They're gonna get away.
No, they aren't.
Hang on! Thomas, there's something I have to tell you.
What? What? I lied.
I knew that we were ripping off Robin Masters' book.
I mean I didn't know at first, but the writer knew it, and by the time I found out, I'd already asked all my friends to invest.
They're dentists, and they put up their whole life savings, and I just didn't have the guts to tell them that we'd been had.
Well, don't worry about it.
We'll figure something out right after we get married.
What did you say? What did you say? I said we'll figure something out.
No, after that.
You asked me to marry you.
I did? You said after we get married.
I didn't mean to say that.
You didn't mean to ask me to marry you? No, I meant to ask you.
I just didn't mean to ask you now.
Of all the ridiculous places to ask somebody to marry you! Freeze! Ciao, amigo.
Come on, Peters, out of there.
Gee, Frank, I thought you'd never get here.
Let's go.
Yes.
Yes? Yes.
I can't tell you what kind of surprise, Higgins.
Just ask T.
C I know.
I know I was supposed to check in, Higgins, but I have been a little busy.
Just ask T.
C.
If he can pick me up at the airport and have him stop by the florist and pick up the most beautiful lei they've got.
And a Lima.
I gotta go, I gotta go.
A final note on the American dream.
There are exactly enough for each person to have his own.
And the trick is not so much in going after it but recognizing it when it comes along.
Skycab, you busy? You got luggage? Yeah.
I mean, I don't have any, but there's some coming.
Lots.
It'll be here any minute.
Mr.
Thomas Magnum, to a white courtesy phone please.
Mr.
Thomas Magnum.
I'll be right back.
This is Thomas Magnum.
One moment, sir.
This better be good, Higgins.
Thomas? You're not coming, are you? I want to.
But not just now? Please.
I It's okay.
It's okay.
Listen Does this have something to do with Bill? Bill? Well, you know, I mean, you You wouldn't talk about him much, and I just figured Oh, God, Thomas.
I never talked about Bill because he was such a jerk.
I was embarrassed to admit that I ever went out with him.
No, this has nothing It has nothing to do with anybody else, except Except for you and And for me, and then the fact that it just all happened so fast.
Yeah.
I guess I'm getting impulsive in my old age.
Look, there are some things that I have to take care of here.
Some obligations.
And then I'd like to come over.
Spend some time with you.
You know, see how much we like each other, without all the drama.
I'll be there.
Thomas I love you, too.

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