Malibu Country (2012) s01e01 Episode Script

Pilot

Another woman wronged.
Country music superstar Bobby Gallagher has gone underground since news of his affair with backup singer Naomi Gutierrez.
Gallagher's wife, Reba Mackenzie, who gave up her own promising singing career 15 years ago to "look after our family," will be appearing with her husband to show the world that she will indeed stand by her man.
I know that I've sinned against God and my wife with that woman.
So I've decided to suspend the rest of my, uh "These vows are sacred" tour To, uh, to spend more time with my family.
I've prayed on it, and I believe they have both forgiven me.
Really? You think your wife's forgiven you? Of course I do.
Well, Reba, honey, get up here.
Tell these people the truth.
I don't think that's a good idea.
Of course it is.
Come on.
Just tell these people what's on your mind.
I don't think you want that.
Uh You said you were gonna support me.
Now you're just embarrassing me.
I'm embarrassing you? Ooh.
I'm Okay.
He's a moron.
And I'm leaving his lyin', cheatin' butt.
Was that the kind of support you were looking for? Mom, why can't we stay in Nashville? I don't belong in Malibu.
My skin's too fair.
I'll just be one giant freckle.
You know, you need to work a summer on your uncle's ranch, muckin' stalls.
Your mama did it, and now she's got skin as tough as leather.
Thank you, mama.
Hey, mom.
Huh? I, for one, am thrilled about this.
See, I'm-a have my girlfriend in Nashville for when I go back, and then I'm-a get a hot new one in California.
He is his father's son.
I'm sorry.
What? He said you're a horn dog, just like your daddy.
walkin' with my head high soakin' up the sunshine nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, life is sweet Huh.
Whoa.
Are you kidding me? This is where we're gonna live? Yeah.
Yeah.
Sweet.
I didn't know we had this house, mom.
Neither did I.
Turns out your daddy had a lot of pretty things I didn't know about.
Whoa, I bet he got a lot of action here.
Mama.
Hard truths, baby you know, if it wasn't for the divorce, you wouldn't have even known he had this Malibu love shack.
Hey, cash, pretty snazzy, huh? I have a beach in front of my house.
Do you know what a beach is? That is where bikinis gather.
And you know what they put in bikinis.
I get the room facing the bikinis.
Pretty exciting, huh, June? I wanna go back to Nashville.
What? You hated Nashville! You stayed upstairs alone all the time.
Honey, maybe out here, you can finally make some friends.
You think I didn't have any friends? No.
No, I didn't mean that at all, honey.
Of course you had friends.
No, I didn't.
Do you even know me? Well, I know you well enough to know I shouldn't have started that conversation! There she is.
Come here, you.
Big hugs.
Come here.
Oh, bring it in.
Oh.
Uh excuse me, but do I know you? No, but I know you.
Ah! You're like a hero around here to all the wives.
I mean, I can't tell you how many times in my life I have just wanted to grab a microphone and shout out to the world, "my husband likes to wear my panties!" That is so funny that I'd know that about you before I even know your name.
Oh! I am Kim.
I'm your next door neighbor.
I noticed you were home 'cause I can see right in.
Anyway, I just wanted to come by and say hi.
So hi.
Thank you.
Hi.
I'm Reba, and that's my mama, Lillie Mae.
- Howdy.
- Hey.
If he's wearing your panties, what do you wear? I see where Reba gets it.
Come here, you.
Big hugs.
No.
Oh.
I think she unhooked my brassiere.
Oh.
Reba, sit down.
You're making me uncomfortable.
Come on.
So How are you holding up? Oh.
Well Aside from this conversation and all this touching Pretty good.
Are you sleeping? Because you're looking a little baggy around the eyes baggy and yet puffy at the same time, which is exactly very hard to do.
You know, I have tons of sleeping pills if you want, or I could also recommend A top shelf plastic surgeon.
Did you used to be a man? I don't get it.
Anyway, I just wanna say, I think what you are doing is so brave, you know? Leaving your husband, starting all over from scratch, no job, no prospects, two kids to scare the men away.
Ugh.
No, no, my Reba has prospects.
Yes, I do.
I used to be a singer/songwriter, and I'm gonna have a meeting with a producer to talk about restarting my career.
Really? Well, that's so exciting.
When's the meeting? Well, we hadn't set a time yet.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
You guys just trying - to coordinate your schedules, and - Yeah.
Kinda like that.
He's having a hard time getting back to me.
Uh-huh.
And as far as your husband is concerned, you did the right thing.
If I had your stones, I would have left my husband the first time he asked me to sleep with him and those three other women.
Uh Okay.
Uh Whoa.
Uh, look, I-I don't mean to be rude, but we don't talk about private matters like this back in Nashville.
Oh.
I'm so sorry.
Of course.
You're right.
Hush my mouth.
I mean, isn't that what you people say? Hush my mouth! Well, it's more like "shut your trap.
" That is so cute.
Finally, you're back.
Oh.
Good to see you, too.
How was your first day of school? I wanna go home to Nashville.
Honey, we are not going back to Nashville.
Well, great.
Okay.
What is it? Talk to me.
It's guy stuff.
It's the kind of stuff I talk to dad about.
Well, right now I'm about as close to a guy as you're gonna get, unless, of course, your grandma goes back to smokin' her cigars.
So what is it? Amy's seeing another guy.
She doesn't wanna do a long distance relationship.
Honey, I'm sorry, but you'll meet somebody else.
No, mom, I won't.
People out here are so shallow, and I thought it was gonna be easy to live here 'cause I'm so good-lookin' and people like having me around.
Cash, there's more to you than just your looks.
Well, yeah, but that's my best part.
And everyone out here's good-lookin' Even the ugly people.
Well? Aren't you gonna say something? Sometimes silence is the best advice.
Hey! Hey, mom! It's great to see you! Thank you, honey.
Boy, you look happy.
I am.
I made a friend.
Oh, honey, that's fantastic.
Oh, and that producer Mr.
Bata called.
You have your meeting on Friday.
Oh! He's finally gonna see me.
Come here, you wonderful little girl! - Mom? Mom? Hey, mom.
- Ooh! - Okay.
Stop it.
- Okay.
All right.
I thought you said that meeting was a no-brainer.
I lied.
That's a big part of being positive.
Oh.
Hi, Mrs.
Mackenzie.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
Uh-huh.
Who's this? This is Sage.
Ooh! Sage from upstairs.
No, I'm from next door.
No, you're from upstairs.
I think you met my stepmom Kim.
Sage, we have a rule here in our house.
No boys upstairs.
It's okay, mom.
How is it okay? You two just get married? No.
He's gay.
And we have the same "no boys upstairs" rule at my house.
Oh, I'm sorry.
You just threw me.
I mean, you don't seem gay.
You seem normal.
I'm not saying that gay isn't normal.
It's just I was just well It's just I That's cute.
It's just oh.
I'm I'm gonna go put my head in the freezer, I think.
Hi.
I'm Reba Mackenzie.
I'm here to see Mr.
Bah-ta.
I'm Geoffrey.
I'm Mr.
Bata's assistant.
Just take a seat.
He'll be right with you.
I brought homemade cookies.
Okay, I-I didn't make 'em.
I bought 'em.
But if I was gonna make some cookies, these would be the kind of cookies I would make.
That is so weird.
I was just thinking, oh, my God.
I hope somebody brings in cookies.
But not any cookie.
No, no.
I want cookies that come with a really long story behind them.
Fine.
I'll just be over here quiet-like.
Mm-hmm.
It's just that I'm so excited.
Things have been going a little wrong here for my family lately, and this is like the first good thing that's happened to us in forever.
This is my ray of sunshine.
You know what I'm talking about? - Okay, mami, you're killing me.
- Why? Why? Because he's not gonna meet with you.
Is he in there with somebody really important? In there? There's nobody in here.
Mira, look.
Hello? There's nobody in here.
He's in Santa Barbara.
He's doing pilates or something.
I don't know.
He's gonna call in 20 minutes and say that he got tied up and we should reschedule.
We will, and he'll do the same thing again.
Rinse and repeats.
Why would he do that? Well, because your ex-husband is very important in music circles, and Mr.
Bata wants you to think he actually cares, you know, just in case.
Well, I don't understand.
I have a great voice.
I sold an album.
Nobody cares about the voice anymore.
We got computers for that now.
Now we want a hook, okay? Are you young? Unh-unh.
Are you sexy? Anh-anh.
Are you young and sexy? Are there any other choices? Get a hook or write a great song.
That's it.
All right.
Thanks.
Do you validate? - Killing me.
- Okay.
Hey, mama.
Hi, sweetie.
How did it go? Oh, what was I thinkin'? Trying to restart my career at my age.
He won't even see me unless I can write a hit song or lose 20 years.
I guess I missed my chance at being somebody.
Mm, mm, mm, mm.
Did I say something funny? No.
I was just remembering something.
What? I forget.
Why don't you write something? Oh, be serious.
I haven't written anything since before the kids.
Now what am I gonna tell them? I wanted them to think that I could take care of us.
I guess I wanted to believe that, too.
What is it? I just saw a pelican poop.
I'm sorry, but that is funny.
All right.
Mama, have you been drinkin'? No.
I was feeling stressed, and I went for a walk.
And, Reba, I saw this sign that said, "feeling anxious?" And I was.
I was feeling anxious.
I went inside, and this honest-to-goodness doctor wrote me a prescription for this.
This is a happy lolli.
This is marijuana.
And it's illegal.
- Not here in Southern Cali.
- Yes.
You stop it.
Give me back that sucker.
Stop it.
Stop it.
I don't want you doing this around the kids or anywhere in the house.
Look, you jarred loose my bunion pad.
The kids are not even here.
Cash went off, and June's over there at that cute little gay boy's house.
Well, we don't even know those people! Oh, here comes that pelican again.
Mom, what are you doing? You're embarrassing me.
You're making out with that boy.
Yeah! Downstairs and not in our house.
I listened to you.
You're supposed to be gay.
Look, Mrs.
Mackenzie, let me put your mind at ease.
We were just practice kissing.
We were both worried about whether we were good kissers or not, so we thought we'd practice together.
Yeah, it turns out she's really good.
I'm about to punch you.
- And you, young lady, you go home right now.
- Ugh! You, young man, where's your mama? Hey, mom? Go home.
What is going on in here? Um, I'm gonna let you handle this, mom.
Okay.
Sweetie, you call me "Kim," remember? Love you.
Hey, Reba.
I was wondering when you'd pop by.
When I came over here, your stepson was making out with my daughter.
Uh-huh? Well, I don't know if you're aware of this or not, but he's telling everybody he's gay.
I don't think he's gay.
Oh, Reba, come on.
They were just practice kissing.
He does that with all the girls.
Am I the only one who knows what gay is? I think I see what's going on here.
You have a problem with homosexuals.
No.
No, I don't.
Matter of fact, I wish he was gay so he'd get off my daughter.
Oh, my gosh.
That's so retro.
What does that even mean? It means that you need a mentor.
You need someone who can help you take the country out of the girl.
Now I have always wanted to be a mentor.
Let me be yours! No.
No, I like the country in the girl.
- Oh, come on! Reba, please.
- No, no, no.
It'll be so fun and rewarding, and you can teach me things, too.
I don't think we should teach each other anything.
Reba, Malibu is a wonderful place.
You just have to open your mind.
Trust me.
In a few months, you'll be thinking just like me.
And then she just barged in.
Now it's going to get all over school, and no one's gonna wanna be my friend because they're gonna be afraid that my redneck mom is gonna come over with a shotgun and throw a jug of moonshine at them.
Yeah.
She learned that from me.
Well, you don't have to worry about being embarrassed anymore, because we're moving back home to Tennessee.
Yes! I'm-a be good-lookin' again! Reba I need to see you outside.
Mama, I'm a grown woman.
You're not the boss of me.
You're not so grown that I can't whup your behind.
I'm going out there 'cause I want to.
Mama, what is it? I don't have time to talk to you if you're just gonna go all crazy on me.
I've got a lot on my mind.
I'm fine.
I have never Are you gonna finish that sentence? - Did I stop talking? - Oh! Good lord, mama.
We are going home.
I'm sorry.
I made a mistake.
I was hurt, and I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, but it's pretty clear we don't belong here.
Cash is miserable, and June's making out with gay boys, and you're just one happy lolli away from making our clothes out of hemp and listening to the grateful dead.
Yes, ma'am, we are leavin'.
- Reba.
- What? What? Your daddy cheated on me.
He did what? He cheated on me, and I I stayed with him, which is what we did in those days.
But, Reba, it killed my soul, and I will not let it kill yours.
Oh, mama.
Oh, baby.
You gave up your voice once, and now here you have a chance to find it again.
Don't you go back just 'cause it's hard right now.
Wow, mama, that was good.
Well I'm learning to maintain.
people back home wouldn't know me now I was in the dark, had my head in the clouds it's amazing what it takes to wake you up gettin' out of the saddle in my pickup truck I love everything I have about my new life especially the part where I'm not your wife here's to the new me Say hi to the new me What are you doing here? You don't have a fake appointment.
No, but I do have a hook and a song, and you can tell Mr.
Bata that I'm gonna be in here every day banging on his door until he lets me in.
Rinse and repeat.
Especially the part where I'm not your wife here's to the new me Cash? What do you think? Oh, I'm sorry.
I wasn't listenin'.
I was thinking about that time back in Nashville when I threw that 60-yard winning touchdown pass.
My whole team they carried me on their shoulders, and and they were chantin', "cash! Cash! Cash! Cash! Cash! Cash.
" Good times.
Hi.
Hey, where have you been? Oh, I had an assignment.
By the way, my friend Charlie is coming over later to study up in my room.
We've been through this before.
No boys upstairs.
Charlie's a girl, mom.
Oh.
Then that's fine.
Oh.
She's also a lesbian.
Is that still fine? We've got some rough sleddin' ahead of us, mama.
But it's gonna be okay, and you know why? I love your record.
You do? - I do.
- Oh, mama, thanks.
I think it's so great.
I think we should just get the hell out of Nashville and take it to Hollywood.
What was that, baby?
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