Malibu Country (2012) s01e12 Episode Script

Adventures in Babysitting

Hey, June, how was school? I got an award at the assembly.
I was voted most dependable student.
How lame is that? Oh, no, honey.
That's great.
I'm proud of you.
Well, if you need me, I'll be up in my room.
Spoiler alert Doing my homework.
Oh, my God.
I need a drink, Reba.
I just got the most horrible news.
Oh, I'm sorry.
What what is it? Okay, I was eavesdropping over at the record label, and I overheard Mr.
Bata saying that he's gonna be making some cuts Deep cuts.
Ay.
So they're letting you go? No.
They're letting you go.
What? Why? Give me that.
Why are they letting me go? What did I do? Nothing.
That's the whole point.
You didn't make the company any money.
Well, they didn't give me a chance.
I've been writing the songs and turning 'em in, and I even made 'em more edgy like you told me to.
What else can I do? Well, if it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one getting the boot.
You know that songwriting team, Lucas and Lombardi? - Yeah? - Yeah, well, they're getting cut, too.
- But they're good.
- Not good enough.
Mr.
Bata wanted them to write a song for the label's hottest singer, Shauna, right? But she hated them.
Well, not both of them.
She slept with Lombardi.
Oh, yeah, Shauna.
I know her.
She's got that video out where she's running through the jungle in a bustier poppin' bubbles? "Wild Child.
" That song was hot.
So now Mr.
Bata wants to find her her next big hit.
You know what? I want a shot at writing with her.
Oh, are you serious? Oh.
No.
Get me a meeting with her.
Even if I could, Reba, you don't work well with others.
Then give me a chance to prove myself.
I'll charm the socks off of that gal, and I'll write her the best song she's ever sung.
Come on.
Okay, I-I'll get you a meeting.
But you know that expression, "act your age"? Don't do that.
Ooh! - Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! - Okay, okay.
I may not be a child, but I can be wild.
I'll do it hammer-style.
walkin' with my head high soakin' up the sunshine la-la-la-la-la, life is sweet June, did you put the clothes in the dryer for me? Yep, and I folded the towels, and I took out the garbage.
I'm so dependable, I make myself sick! Mama, that Shauna girl is coming over for a meeting, and I need you to stop! Oh, not now, Reba, I'm in a juicing zone.
Mama, my career is really riding on this meeting.
So No juicing! More damn rules.
You know where else they won't let you juice? - No.
- North Korea.
So I hope you're happy, Kim Jong Reba.
Well, we're off to Leslie's parents' house.
Listen, Lillie Mae, would you mind watering my plants? I can do better than that.
Why don't I house-sit for you? How would you like that, Reba? Mama, if you wanna house-sit, go ahead and house-sit.
Oh-ho-ho, I will.
And you'll see You will miss me.
What do you say, Kim? Um, I say yes.
I would be super great to have somebody talk to the plants.
So here is my key.
Just remember, when you're talking to the orchids, they like it dirty.
Oh, boy.
Look, my own place.
What ever will I do? I know Whatever I want.
As often as I want, as loud as I want, as naked as I want! Keep it inside this time! Reba, we're here.
Oh.
Uh, Reba, this is Shauna.
Hi, Shauna.
I'm Reba.
Nice to meet you.
So you're the soccer mom who wants to write with me? Well, my kids don't play soccer, but yeah, I wanna write with you.
And I've got some great ideas I think would be - Forget that.
- Good.
Just answer three questions.
I wanna feel your vibe.
Fine.
Feel away.
Favorite pudding? Tapioca.
Zombies or vampires? Vampires.
Final question Why isn't President Rushmore on Mt.
Rushmore? Because there was no President Rushmore.
She's smart.
I'm in.
I'll just get my bags.
Okay.
Bags? Yeah.
Well, when Shauna wants to write with somebody, she wants them to be immersed in her life, so she likes to move in.
It's cool if I smoke in here, right? Grandma, you're only gonna be at Kim's for three days.
Are you sure you need all this stuff? Well, I don't wanna be running back and forth, bothering a certain red-headed tyrant.
Well, this is me, flying off to freedom.
Don't forget to write.
- You're gonna miss me.
- Hurry along, now.
I can't miss you while you're still here.
I can't believe Shauna is staying at our house.
Her song "Wild Child" is everything I should be, but I'm not.
Well, honey, it's great that you're dependable.
And you you never make any trouble.
Yay.
I'm a nap in the shape of a girl.
Hurry on off to school.
When Shauna gets up, I wanna hit the ground running.
Bye.
Wow, Shauna, it looks like the ground hit you.
Where you been? I got super wasted last night, and then I went skinny dipping, but the ocean chilled out my buzz, so I had to get all wasted again.
Uh, you, uh, you went skinny dipping? Shauna, that ocean out there is shark-infested, so next time, you should take someone with you.
Someone who can, uh, act as bait for the sharks.
Let me be your bait? I like this dude.
He's cute.
I'm cute? Really? - Honey, remember, she's not totally sober.
- Oh.
All right, Shauna, you ready to get to work? Yeah, I'm just gonna need to sleep.
So, uh, wake me up at 9:00? Well, I guess I can I can, uh, give you an hour.
But that's 13 hours of work we'll be missing.
I'm sorry, Reebs.
I don't punch a clock.
I'm an artist, and I work when inspiration hits.
I mean, it took nine months to write "Wild Child.
" Seriously? In nine months, you could have had a child.
By the way, can I change rooms? Your mom's room smells like baby powder and bourbon, and I can't stand the smell of baby powder.
Sure, I'll tell June she's got a roommate.
All right! We are gonna get crazy.
I'll tell June she's stayin' in her grandma's room.
Hey, handsome.
Can I ask you to do me a favor? Cute and handsome? Ask away, but I can already tell you the answer's gonna be yes.
Do you think that you could hook me up with a bottle of vodka? Yes.
Make it two.
That way I have a backup in case one accidentally spills down my throat.
Yeah.
Hey, grandma.
What are you doin'? Wait, what are you wearin'? It's Kim's.
I couldn't find her wedding dress, so I put this on.
You should have been here when I was dressed up like her husband.
What are you doin' over here at my bastion of freedom? Yes.
Um, I'm I'm kind of here on a mission.
Oh, let me guess.
Your mama misses me, and she wants you to bring me home.
Actually You can tell her no dice.
No, I'm I'm here on my own.
Uh, the thing is, you know how you told me I could come to you if I ever needed anything, no questions asked? Yeah.
Well, I-I kind of need some vodka.
Why? That's a question.
Cash, are you drinking? Uh, that's two questions.
Okay.
It's for Shauna.
Well, no can do.
I love you, son, but I also love my vodka.
But I really don't want to disappoint her, 'cause she's She's so awesome, and and she swims naked.
Ha.
You didn't say it was awesome when I did it.
Hey, Shauna, I'm thinkin' we could name our first song We got nothing! Okay, okay.
I'm feeling something.
Finally.
I'll apologize to the sunbathers later.
Mama, what are you doin' here? Oh, I forgot my baby powder, I run out of bourbon.
All right.
Well, I'll see you when Kim gets back.
Reba, you look upset.
Did you miss me? Because there is no shame in admitting that you want me to come back.
In fact, if you wanna save face, I'll pretend that I want to come back.
Trust me, mama, you don't wanna come back with that Shauna girl here.
She's drivin' me nuts.
She sleeps all day, she drinks all night.
She sleeps all day, and she drinks all night.
Ooh.
Talk about livin' the dream.
Geoffrey told me that I had to turn something in by the end of the week, or they're gonna drop me for good.
What am I gonna do? Write it without her.
No, no, they said we gotta write it together.
Oh, there you go again with your rules.
Can't juice a carrot, can't throw knives at a target you draw on your bedroom wall with lipstick.
What are you sayin', mama? I'm sayin' bend the rules.
Tell her she was loaded when you two wrote it.
She'll never remember.
That's a good idea.
Well? Just come out and say it.
"Mama, I miss you.
Please come back" - Mama - No, no I'll think about it, baby.
Were you looking for Seriously, dude? Respect the hangover.
What are you playing, anyway? Uh The song we wrote together.
I don't remember writing a song.
Well, we did.
You had 11 beers, and inspiration hit you, and we were off and running.
Anyway, let me play it for you.
Were you lookin' for me when you walked into the room Are you sure that we wrote that together? Because that doesn't sound anything like me.
Okay, fine.
It sounds like me because I had to write it all by myself.
Oh, no wonder.
Because this is what I sound like I hate your smile you get me riled I've had enough, don't need your stuff I'm a wild child Uhh! O.
M.
G.
, were you just singing "Wild Child"? June, what are you doin' home? You're supposed to be at chorus practice.
Yeah, I decided to blow it off.
Thanks, Shauna.
Genius idea.
Hey! So you were the one that told her not to go? All I said was "that sounds so boring," and "God, you must hate your life.
" And "school's for losers.
" And it is.
No, it's not! Shauna, I do not need you interfering with me raisin' my Hi, mom.
Hello, Cash.
Ma'am, I caught your son attempting to buy two bottles of vodka.
What?! Cash, what were you thinkin'? No biggie.
He was buying it for me.
Hey, you're Shauna.
I love "Wild Child.
" It's the soundtrack to my life.
Thank you, officer.
Hey, do you mind giving my daughter an autograph? Oh, sure.
What's her name? Officer Jenkins.
Um, officer, do you think that you could let this boy off the hook? For me? Well, I guess I could let him off with a warning For you.
No, no, no, no, no.
You let him off because he's a good boy that made a mistake.
- Not because she's famous! - Shh, shh.
Either way.
Thank you, sir.
Well, ma'am, we'll release him to your custody This time.
Bye, Shauna.
You're welcome.
I'm welcome? Hello? I just got your son out of trouble.
That you got him into! Listen here, little missy, it's one thing for you to disrespect me and my songwriting, but you will not be spreading your bad habits to my kids.
And, little missy, you got some bad habits.
Here we go.
Criticism from Lucille ballbuster.
You know what? I don't think you're waitin' for some magic lightning to strike.
I think you're just lazy.
I don't think you wanna do any of this.
- Are we done? - No.
You drink too much, you got a mouth on you like a sailor, and there are times when your lack of underwear becomes glaringly obvious.
Hey, you were the one who begged for this job.
Without me, you'd just be a suburban mom without a career.
Well, I got news for you! That's all I was before I met you! What is with your mother? If I was in a hotel right now, I would be trashing the place.
Where's your tv? I gotta throw it out the window.
Yeah, I'm not allowed to have a tv in my room, so What? All right.
I'll smash this.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Not that.
I made that with my mom at one of those pottery painting places on my 6th birthday.
See, it's a turkey, but I painted it like a peacock.
Gotta give me something that I can throw.
Uh, okay.
Here.
You can smash this.
I have a bunch of 'em.
"First place," "math-lympics"? Yeah, it's kind of a stupid school thing.
If it's so stupid, then why did you do it five years in a row? I know.
It's boring.
Yeah.
Boring.
And normal.
Well, you know how moms are.
No, I don't.
But you know what? I'm done being "most dependable" June.
So take that trophy and smash it to a million pieces.
I don't care.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Oh, thank God.
Cash, you know better than to try to buy alcohol.
Mom, I was under the influence Of a hot girl.
And I'm not gonna lie to you It's probably gonna happen again.
Reba? Go on upstairs.
We'll talk about this later.
Inspiration finally hit me, and it's all because of what you said.
Great! Okay, so we're ready to get to work? No.
About me not wanting to do this anymore.
I don't.
I'm quitting the business.
I owe it all to you.
Look out, sunbathers.
Come on, Shauna.
Unlock the door.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God it's Mr.
Bata.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
This is the end of me.
Oh, my God.
Hello, Mr.
Bata? Yes, everything's going Everything's going fine.
Everything's uh-huh.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Shauna, please open the door.
You know, if I'd gotten her that vodka, she'd be passed out on the deck right now, and And I shouldn't be remindin' you of that.
Shauna.
Shauna, open the door! Shaun Aah! Open the door.
Reba.
What are you doing out here? We don't have a chimney, so I came up this way.
Listen, Shauna, you don't have to quit because all that stuff I said in a heated moment.
I was angry.
No, you were right.
I don't wanna do this anymore.
- And you wanna know why? - Yeah.
Because I have been doing this since I was 12 years old.
I didn't have a mom who made me compete in the math-lympics, or who would make lame-ass ceramic peacocks with me.
You know, that's supposed to be a turkey.
I just missed a lot of awesome crap all these years, and it messed me up.
So I'm gonna go back home and try to get my head straight.
Well, I get that.
But I mean, you can't just go home and magically become I know, but I can mend some old fences, and I can start by taking the restraining order off my mom.
Well, that'd be a good mother's day gift.
Yeah.
See? I'm doing this, and you can't talk me out of it.
I'm not going to.
I mean, when I came in here and possibly cracked a rib I was planning on talking you into staying, because that would be good for my career.
But then I put on my mama hat.
And I gotta tell you that until you fix all the crap in your life, all the success in the world won't amount to a hill of beans.
You understand what I'm saying? I do.
And then when you do decide to continue your career, all this crap that's what you need to write about.
I mean, there's no reason why you can't look back while moving forward.
Mom! I got the door open! Oh, hey.
You'rein here.
Hey, thanks for getting arrested for me.
If I ever come back into town, we should go for that swim.
Hey.
Ooh.
Bye, bitches.
How's it going over at Leslie's parents? Ugh.
Now we have to stay for a few more days.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
I know.
I have never been around these people when I couldn't drink.
It is just torture.
Well, everything's fine here, so stay as long as you need to.
Ooh.
Reba, what did you do? Okay, Geoffrey, for Shauna's own good, I told her You are a genius.
Shauna just sent us the song that you guys wrote together.
- That we wrote together? - Mm-hmm.
Which one exactly? "Looking back, moving forward.
" It was so beautiful and and personal, and and and she recorded the demo at her mother's house.
What do ya know? You just scored high marks with Mr.
Bata.
There's no way that he's gonna be dropping you now.
So what does that mean? That means we live to fight another day! There she is.
Mwah! I always knew he was into me.
What are you doin' here? I thought you'd be over at Kim's.
Oh, Kim came home early.
Yeah? She did, huh? Uh-huh.
And I'm I'm back to suffering through your reign of terror.
Mama, I know Kim is What? Glad to be home.
And I'm glad you're back, 'cause I missed ya.
Oh, go on with your needy self.

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