Malibu Rescue (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

The Splash and the Furious

This is the brown bin.
Kelp is green.
It goes in the green bin.
Driftwood is brown.
It goes in the brown bin.
Why is everybody staring at us? It happens to me out here all the time.
I swear, if one more person asks me if I'm Kevin Hart Help me here, people.
I don't know why you're struggling with this.
Are we late? No.
The meeting starts at five.
It's 4:57.
It's almost like Garvin started early - just to mess with us.
- [CHUCKLES] I would never admit to that.
Okay, people.
We're in the height of summer break.
Family Day is coming.
There's gonna be a lot of extra people on the beach.
Now, I know you people can't keepyour eye on everything.
But I need you to be vigilant.
[SCOFFS] - [CAR HORN HONKS] - GARVIN: Ah! I hate that guy! What's going on? - I don't know.
- [DOOR OPENS] [UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING OVER STEREO] What it do, Junior Rescue? - Who is that? - That's Thornton Pavey.
He's, like, the richest guy in Malibu.
He donates a bunch of money to Junior Rescue.
Garvin, el jefe.
- How you been? - Thornton.
What're you doing here? People are saying you might need a hand being vigilant.
What? Who's saying that? - You said it two minutes ago.
- Shut it.
Hey, man.
I just want you to know that I'm here to help you keep Malibu safe.
Which is why I'm donating these babies! - ERIC: What? - GIRL: Whoa! - Whoa.
- Cool.
I will ride you.
You're only doing this to make yourself look good.
I'm doing it because I love Junior Rescue.
But if it makes me look good, that's just frosting on the cupcake.
You can keep your personal watercraft, because we don't need 'em! - What? No, we do! - We need them very badly.
I'll die if I don't get one.
You can't turn down a donation, Garbanzo.
[CHUCKLES] Hey, I'm thinking we start a Junior Rescue Sea Jet patrol! You can't just start a Sea Jet patrol.
Okay? - You need parental permission.
- THORNTON: Hey, man.
I get it.
I'm a daddy.
Which is why I had my lawyer draft up these permission slips.
[YELPS] Get off my car.
Is this yours? I bought my gardener one of these.
Do me a solid.
Pass out the slips, would ya? - Oh, I'll hand 'em out, sir.
- THORNTON: Actually, Garvin, I think it's better if you do it.
You know, legal purposes.
[SNARLS] I don't know what's better.
Getting free Sea Jets or watching this guy stick it to Garvin.
Ooh, that's a tough one.
But I'm probably gonna have to say Sea Jets, but by like that much.
Take these home, have your parents sign them.
No permission slips, no watercraft.
No exceptions.
Happy now, Thornton? Always.
Aren't you? [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] LOGAN: Hey! Dylan! Logan! Ha! Bogan-da-dogan.
[CHEERFULLY] Hey, girl! [SIGHS] - [GLUMLY] Hi.
- Why do you have to be so weird? I don't know.
[SIGHS] I'm just trying to tell you I hope someone from your tower makes that patrol.
You do? [GASPS] Why? In case you haven't noticed, you're the only girl captain.
So if you mess this up, it makes us all look bad.
I never thought of that.
I'm gonna go gas up the Sea Jets, 'cause that's a job my captain gave me.
Don't let us down.
[CHUCKLES] I'm kidding! - [BOTH LAUGH] - But seriously, don't let us down.
[EXHALES] Man, I am so pumped, I could barely sleep last night.
Neither could I, 'cause Tyler kept texting me.
Sorry, man, I just can't wait to be on that patrol.
I know.
That's what you kept texting me.
- This is gonna be great.
- [SIGHS] All right, people, pass in your signed permission slips.
We have a practice Sea Jet for a couple of hours.
You're all gonna train on it, but only our best rider gets to try out for a spot on the patrol.
Ooh, bummer.
Hey, maybe next time, Gina.
Oh, you think you're gonna win.
[CHUCKLES] That's hilarious.
- Obviously, it's gonna be - Me! Me.
What? You think I don't want in on this? No, it's just that there's no way your mom signed your permission slip.
Oh, really? Read it and weep, ding-dongs! [CHUCKLES] To be honest, I was a little surprised myself.
I just left it on the kitchen counter and let her read it in her own time.
Then this morning, on my way out, she told me it was in my folder.
Uh, Lizzie, I think you should look at this.
Why? Because, unless your mom's name is "In your dreams, Elizabeth.
I would never let you do something so dangerous.
How dare you ask? Love, your mother who loves you.
Mom," - you're not allowed to ride.
- I can't believe this.
I can't believe she fit all that on the signature line.
I'm the only one who can't get certified.
It's gonna be okay.
Out of the three of you, I'm sure one of you will qualify.
Um actually, mine isn't signed either.
Seriously? Only two of you? I guess it's just me and you today.
Uh, you guys gonna be okay? - Uh, yeah - We'll be - See ya! - Cool! I don't know why you're running.
I have the keys.
- [CHUCKLES] - It's good you're getting certified, too, just in case something happens to me.
Oh, something's definitely gonna happen to you.
Hey, focus! This is important.
This is the on button, which is how you turn the Sea Jet on.
- Now, if your Sea Jet - LIZZIE: Oh, man! She's showing them how to turn it on.
What do you think? I think we need a longer strap for these binoculars.
Lizzie, we're supposed to be watching the beach, which is that way.
My mom is so overprotective.
Why did she have to be a doctor? Why couldn't she be a stuntwoman or an ice road trucker? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Parents, right? [GASPS] If your Sea Jet stalls, clear this grate and get it restarted.
If it's still doesn't start, refer to Appendix C.
Appendix C? There's no Appendix C.
How am I supposed to train people properly without an Appendix C? Dylan, we don't need an Appendix C.
Seriously? We need all the appendixes we can get.
You two aren't the only ones riding on this Sea Jet.
The hopes and dreams of women everywhere are riding along with you.
BOTH: What? I'm gonna get another manual.
LIZZIE: Oh, man.
Tyler's climbing on it? [SIGHS] - GINA: It's my turn.
- LIZZIE: Now Gina's sitting on it? Whoo! - This is torture.
- ERIC: Hey.
I got an idea.
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] What are we doing at Vooch's? We may not be able to ride real Sea Jets, but I got a bag full of permission slips that says we can ride that! [EIGHT-BIT MUSIC PLAYING] You in? Let's do it.
- [COIN CLATTERS] - [GAME BEEPS] - [COIN CLATTERS] - [GAME BEEPS] [BOTH LAUGHING] - Oh! Watch out for that shark.
- LIZZIE: Whoa! [BOTH CONTINUE LAUGHING] [SIGHS] Man, she's been gone forever.
We should take this thing down to the water and ride it.
[SCOFFS] We should wait for Dylan.
[SIGHS] Let's just stay here.
She wants one of us to make the patrol.
All right? If we don't train, then we won't have a chance.
I'm going out there, right? But you can stay here if you want.
It's not like you're gonna make Sea Jet patrol anyways.
[CHUCKLES] Ow! My hair! [TYLER WHOOPS] This is awesome! - BOTH: Yeah! - GINA: Whoo! TYLER: Check this out, Gina! - GINA: Dude, hurry up.
- TYLER: So cool! - GINA: My turn already! - [TYLER WHOOPS, LAUGHS] That was pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.
Well, you'll have to say it yourself, 'cause I thought it was lame.
My turn.
Let me show you how it's done.
[GINA WHOOPS] - [TYLER LAUGHS] All right! - GINA: Whoo! Whoa! [LAUGHS] Yeah! - Gettin' sick back there? - [WHOOPS] Whoo! - Now that's what I'm talking about.
- All right, whatever.
Now me again.
- [ENGINE REVS] - [TYLER LAUGHS] - [ENGINE SPUTTERS] - TYLER: Hey! Whoa, whoa! Yo, what'd you do? GINA: Uh, are you serious? You were driving! [SIGHS] It stalled.
Man, you think Dylan would've told us what to do if it stalled.
For someone who's never ridden a real Sea Jet before, you're killing it.
You got, like, eight of the top ten high scores.
And you got us cheese fries.
[CHUCKLES] Hey, we all play to our strengths.
It's a bummer that our parents didn't sign our permission slips.
- But at least we got to hang out.
- Yeah, we did.
You know what this calls for? More cheese fries! - Hey, Vooch, another round, please! - For sure! - [BELL DINGS] - VOOCH: Six is up! There you go.
Hey, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, since I was eavesdropping.
Man, overprotective parents.
I get it.
One day, my mom caught her little Voochling running through the house with a knife, and you know what she did? She took it away from you? Whoa.
It's like you were there.
I don't think I was born yet.
Really? It happened last Thursday.
Actually, my parents aren't really overprotective.
They're like my best friends.
But Lizzie looked so sad that she couldn't ride, I told her my parents didn't sign the permission slip, to make her feel better.
You lied to her? What? No! I helped a friend.
I didn't lie.
I'm terrible at lying.
Sure seems like you did.
[SCOFFS] Trust me.
You'd know if I lied.
I'd be sweating buckets, I'd have this really weird laugh, and I'd call everything "the bomb dot com.
" - Bomb dot com.
Throwback! [LAUGHS] - [UTENSIL CLATTERS] Eric, you're letting Lizzie believe something that isn't true.
Well I I was trying to help a friend.
By lying.
[LAUGHING AWKWARDLY] Uh, are you okay? [PANTING] I'm fine.
I'm the bomb dot com.
I'm the bomb dot com! No, I'm not! [GASPS] I'm a liar! [LAUGHS] You sure are, little buddy.
Here you go.
[MOANING] Okay, guys, I figured it out.
I was using the old edition.
In the new edition, Appendix C was actually renamed Addendum OMG! Where did they go? [BOTH PANTING AND GRUNTING] See? I told you I'd get us back to the beach.
Yeah, you got us back to a beach, but not our beach.
Where are we? I don't know.
I'm a Sea Jet patroller, not a GPS.
You are not a sea jet patroller! You're just the screwup that's making us miss the competition.
- Why did I listen to you? - Relax.
Okay? It's gonna be fine.
I'm gonna fix it.
And FYI, all this negativity, it's not helping.
[GINA SIGHS] What is going on? Where are they? [CART APPROACHING] Okay, here we have Tower Two.
Nothing much to see.
Come on, let's move on.
Whoa, whoa.
Hold on.
I didn't generously donate those Sea Jets for the tax write-offs.
No, my business manager, Sheldon, did.
I did it for the smiles.
Dylan, where's your team? The competition starts in 20 minutes.
Well, they're not missing, 'cause if they were, they'd be letting their captain down, which doesn't just reflect badly on me, it's also a huge disappointment to Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Why's she dropping RBGs like that? I'm sure Dylan has everything under control.
Right, Dylan? Yup.
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] I have everything under control.
Who cares? Let's bounce.
Hit it, Logan.
[ENGINE REVS] [SIGHS] Hey, before everyone gets back, I just wanna say thanks for today.
People never really understand where I'm coming from about my mom, but you do, and that means a lot.
That's not funny at all.
You're being honest.
Honesty's the bomb dot com.
- Are you okay? - Hey, look, it's Dylan.
Everybody, look.
Dylan's here.
How's everything going? Well, I blew it.
Tyler and Gina ran off.
Neither one of you has your permission slip signed, so we don't have anyone to compete for a spot on the patrol, and there'll never be another female captain! [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY] This isn't funny.
I know, it's incredibly stressful.
Why am I so bad at this? I wish there was something we could do.
[SIGHS] Actually [INAUDIBLE] Your parents signed your permission slip? BOTH: Are you serious? This is amazing! Come on, the tryouts are in 15 minutes.
I need to get you trained.
[ENGINE SPUTTERS] That didn't do it.
Maybe - [ENGINE SPUTTERS] - [SIGHS] That wasn't it, either.
Unless It's not gonna work.
It hasn't worked the last ten times, it's not gonna work now.
Just stop messing around.
I'm not messing around.
Believe me.
I'm trying to get this thing fixed.
I gotta get back out there.
Well, the competition's gonna start any minute.
[SIGHS] We totally screwed over our team.
You think I don't know that? I can't believe I did this again.
Ow! I I hate this thing! [GRUNTING AND PANTING] Why won't you tip over? - What is happening right now? - I'm taking out my rage! [CONTINUES GRUNTING] - Uh, Tyler? - TYLER: I know what you're gonna say.
I always screw up.
Look, I'm the one who almost killed Brody.
It was my idea to throw a party that almost cost us our tower.
And I'm the reason that we're stuck here.
You're right.
[SIGHS] You did do all those things.
Really thought you were gonna come over here and make me feel better.
GINA: But you didn't do 'em alone.
We did 'em together.
And we fixed them together.
As a team.
And we're gonna get off this beach together.
[SCOFFS] How do you know? 'Cause when you were having your little freak-out, I noticed this thing was clogged with sea weed.
[GRUNTS] Are you kidding me? [SIGHS] Uh Could you not tell anybody about my little freak-out? I make no promises.
Now help me get this thing back in the water.
DYLAN: If you don't qualify, Tower Two won't have anyone on patrol.
It's up to you, Eric.
It's a straight shot down to the buoy and a slalom course on the way back.
Five fastest times make the patrol.
How do you feel? Well, I betrayed a friend, abandoned my core beliefs, and spit in the face of human decency.
So basically, I feel like a war criminal, Dylan.
I'm not ignoring all that, but we're gonna deal with it later, okay? Now get over there and win that race for every woman who's been told they can't! Are you sure I should be the one doing that? No, but you're all I got.
[SIGHS] ERIC: All right.
I'm gonna do this for women.
Man, that sounds weird.
Sorry we're late.
Which one of us do you want to compete? Neither of you! The race is about to start, and Eric's already out there.
Where've you guys been? The Sea Jet stalled, and then we beached it, and then Tyler threw a full-blown freak-out.
- You said you wouldn't tell anyone.
- I made no promises.
I didn't even have time to train Eric.
If he can't pull this off, no one from our tower's gonna make the patrol.
[SIGHS] This is all my fault.
No, it's not, Dylan.
All right? Somebody very wise once said we're a team.
We mess up together, and we succeed together.
And that very wise person was me.
Ow! What did I tell you about my hair? GINA: No matter what happens, we're in it together.
And who knows? Maybe Eric'll do great.
- Come on, Eric! Whoo! - Come on, Eric! - GIRL: You can do it! - [INDISTINCT SHOUTING] [SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING] - [HORN BLARES] - [ENGINES REV] - [BACK-UP ALARM BEEPING] - TYLER: Not that way! [SIGHS] He had a fifty-fifty shot.
[UPBEAT HORN MUSIC PLAYING] - There he is! Go, Eric! - [ALL CHEERING] - TYLER: Let's go, Eric! Go! - GINA: Go, Eric! [DYLAN AND TYLER SHOUTING] - C'mon, Eric! - You go, baby! TYLER: Come on! DYLAN: Yes! He's doing it! - Go, Eric! C'mon! - Go! [CROWD CHEERING] - Come on, Eric! - Let's go! C'mon! [HORN BLARES] - GINA: Yeah! He did it! - TYLER: Yeah! [WHOOPS] DYLAN: He did it! - Whoo! - Nice! - [ALL LAUGHING] - Hey, guys.
Sorry I couldn't get that thing out of reverse.
Man, you were great.
- [GIGGLES] - DYLAN: I'm so proud of you.
You were so far behind.
How did you get up? Hey, Lizzie.
Can I talk to you for a sec? I'm so sorry I lied to you.
- I totally get it if you're mad at me.
- I'm not mad at you.
If I'm mad at anyone, it's my mom.
I'm sick of her holding me back 'cause she's afraid.
Hey, nothing held you back out there.
That was awesome.
Thanks for being a good friend.
I hope you're as proud of yourself as l am of you.
Just looking at you, I feel like Malibu Beach is safer already.
Oh, just give 'em the pins.
Just wow.
Well, you're all dismissed.
- Hey, don't What're you doing? It's my job to dismiss them.
Don't have a hissy, Gardvark.
You can dismiss them.
Well, they're gone already! Oh.
Well, then You're dismissed.
Lizzie! Not to take way from anything you did today, 'cause it was great.
But we still have our permission slip problem.
Like, you don't have a signed one.
Don't worry.
I'll have it in Garvin's box by tomorrow.
I spent all day trying to be the she-ro of our tower, but the real she-ro was you all along.
What's a she-ro? You are.