Marvel's Avengers Assemble (2013) s04e24 Episode Script
The Wastelands
1 It's me, the uncanny Ms.
Marvel.
We gotta move fast, so here are the deets.
The alien Beyonder took parts of planets with all the people and all the Avengers, then mashed it up to make Battleworld.
Loki switched sides.
Now he and Iron Man just finished building a new Bifrost.
With it, we can undo Battleworld and send everyone home.
The fate of the universe is at stake.
No pressure.
[IRON MAN.]
With the info we got from the Beyonder's Citadel, we finished building the Bifrost.
But we can't turn it on until we deliver it to the proper location.
That's why we need all of you to stay on the move.
If you're lucky, you'll draw the Beyonder away from us.
If we're lucky, the Bifrost won't blow up in our faces.
Tempting fate by making a "blow up in our faces" joke.
Why so nervous, Dr.
Foster? Because it's crunch time.
Everything comes down to this.
It's a big moment.
Well, sometimes the moment chooses you.
Ooh, that sounded great.
Very dramatic.
I had a tech on it, though.
Can we get another read? This time facing the camera.
Don't you have something you should be doing? Uh, by the way, if anybody finds a coffee mug with my name on it, that's, uh that's mine.
I'm sensing something most grave.
Doctor Strange is right.
I sense it too.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
The Beyonder.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[STATIC.]
[CAPTAIN AMERICA.]
Brace yourselves, Avengers! This is no pleasure cruise, so stay sharp, Avengers.
Ms.
Marvel, Vision, we need you to secure the Bifrost.
No big.
We got it.
[FALCON.]
The storm's not moving.
Maybe we gave the Beyonder the slip.
Well, that's the hope.
If we're lucky, by the time the Beyonder figures it out, we'll be long [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
Oh! You see it? - Yeah.
- Wish I didn't.
[GROWLS.]
[YELLS.]
[FALCON.]
Well, that's not something you see every day.
Not even on Battleworld.
Pick a target and start blasting.
[BEEPS.]
[GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[SNARLS.]
Of course.
An entire planet destined only for war, and you Avengers want to take that away from me? [GRUNTS.]
Hey, Ares, think fast! Aah! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS, YELLS.]
[GROWLING.]
[YELLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
How's it on this side? Our situation is tenuous.
Is it better on the other side? Uh, no.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROWLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Keep them away from the Bifrost.
[GROWLING.]
Embiggen! [BOTH GRUNT.]
This is your stop! Off you go! Aaahhh! Any reason why this platform's so slow? My grandma drives faster than this, and she thinks driving over 25 is a sin.
What, you want me to go back there and push? [HORN BLARES.]
Hmm.
That's worrisome.
[GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
Uh-oh.
Everyone hold on! [YELLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
Look out! [BOTH YELL.]
Hawkeye! Widow! [YELLS, GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Clint! I'm okay.
[MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING.]
[GHOST RIDER GRUNTS.]
[GROWLS, GRUNTS.]
I got him.
[GRUNTS.]
You're gonna have to do better than that, son! [GRUNTS.]
Lucky shot.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
You wanna see a real lucky shot? Check this out.
- You hurt? - [GRUNTS.]
I'll be fine.
Hope the others can say the same.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[GRUNTS.]
Vision! [GRUNTING.]
[YELLING.]
[YELLING.]
You lack the stomach for combat, Captain.
[GRUNTS.]
You could be a great warrior if you'd only embrace the glory of battle! [SWORD BLOWS LANDING.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Greatness doesn't come from fighting, Ares.
[GRUNTING.]
Greatness comes from finding a way to stop it! [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
Huh? [CRIES OUT.]
[GRUNTING.]
Now this fight is done.
Huh? [GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS.]
Come on, Tony.
We can do it.
Sensors showing something fast coming up on our tail.
And cue the Beyonder.
We need to get out of this valley.
Kamala, take the wheel.
Me? Why me? I don't know.
Why not you? Gah! There must be 150 different controls in here! [IRON MAN.]
A hundred-and-fifty-one! There you are.
You can't run from me, Stark.
Who's running? [GRUNTS.]
You interfere with my experiment, then you reject my offer of immortality.
You're nothing but a constant source of irritation! Constant irritation? They have a topical cream for that now.
[GRUNTS.]
The only joy I will get from you is watching you suffer.
I just wanna state for the record that I don't even have my learner's permit yet.
Gah! How do you adjust the seat back? Never mind.
I can do this! [ALL GRUNT.]
Uh-oh.
Tony, what do we do now? Tony? [ALARM BEEPING.]
I'm going to crush everything you've ever built.
But first, I'm going to crush you.
[CRYING OUT.]
[GRUNTS.]
[ELECTRICITY ARCING.]
[GRUNTS.]
I can't hold it! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
[GROANING.]
Now begins the end of Tony Stark.
Did you think I would let you use the Bifrost against me? What's a Bifrost? Don't play dumb with me.
[CHUCKLES.]
I have to play dumb with you, because you're dumb.
You're very dumb.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
It was my idea to use the Bifrost to build Battleworld.
Then you steal my idea to use the Bifrost to undo my Battleworld.
You're just a copycat, a thief! I thought there was more to you than this.
Ares, tear the Bifrost apart.
[CHUCKLES.]
With pleasure.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? [GASPS.]
Mm? It's what Ant-Man had lying around.
A decoy? Well, technically, it's a coffee mug.
We needed to keep you distracted for as long as possible.
And you fell for it.
Because, again dumb.
See ya, suspenders! This isn't over, Stark! Aah! Does no one understand Battleworld but me? Somebody fight me! Aah! [GROWLS.]
You want someone to fight, we can oblige.
[CAPTAIN MARVEL.]
We gotta work fast, Avengers.
Wasp, the package.
[WASP.]
Tony wanted it positioned right at this spot.
Then that's my cue.
B.
R.
B.
[GRUNTS.]
Everybody step back.
Doctor Strange, Loki, you're up.
Our worlds are depending on us getting the Bifrost up and running.
[GRUNTING.]
What is it, Black Panther? I am sensing something.
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINES IN DISTANCE.]
[CAPTAIN MARVEL.]
There's your something.
[BLACK PANTHER.]
Avengers, we are under siege.
Create a perimeter and defend the Bifrost at all costs.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Accursed creatures, have at thee! [GROWLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
These guys look tired.
I think they need a break! [GASPS.]
Too many skeletons on this mountain.
[YELLS.]
[YELLS.]
Aah! They're buying us time.
keep going! [GROWLS.]
Don't bring that weak sauce here, biker guy.
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[YELLS.]
Wasp, I got things here.
You rally the others.
Me? You're not just an Avenger.
You are a leader.
Now get to work! Let's do it, boys and girls! Don't hold back! SEND THESE REJECTS THE MESSAGE: Avengers can do this all day, all night, all the time.
Aah! Attagirl.
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aaahhh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aaahhh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? Hulk! [CRIES OUT.]
[YELLING.]
The Bifrost must be started up in precise order.
If the monsters interrupt the process, we'll never get home.
Don't stop.
You two keep at it.
Jane Foster's gotta go to work.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[YELLS, GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
You certainly know how to make an entrance.
Stop.
You're embarrassing me.
Actually, do not stop.
We need that Bifrost running.
[WHOOSH.]
I dig your new suit.
It just screams, "I'm the Beyonder, and I'm overcompensating.
" You think you're special.
But you're not the only one who can build armor.
I'm not the only one.
I'm just the best.
[GRUNTS.]
[BEYONDER.]
No more tricks, no more running.
You want to destroy my experiment? Then I will see you destroyed.
Your world, your friends, everything you love destroyed.
[GROWLS.]
[LAUGHS.]
What, no jokey banter? Good! [GRUNTING.]
[YELLING.]
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Your tech is dull, without edge.
My tech has bite.
Your tech bites.
[CRIES OUT.]
Aw.
You seem to have taken on a little damage.
I'll make it more.
I've got one trick left up my sleeve.
Huh? What is this? Just a little something I cooked up.
Aah! [GROANS.]
My systems disrupted.
But how? Old-school computer virus.
From info I hacked from your Citadel.
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTS.]
[ELECTRICITY ARCING.]
I always win, Stark.
If you'd done what I told you, Battleworld could've been your triumph.
[GRUNTS.]
BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Battleworld is over.
You didn't win.
[YELLS.]
This energy won't hold for long! By the Seven Suns of [GRUNTS.]
[GHOST RIDER YELLS.]
Doctor Strange! Get up! There isn't much time! Strange, I cannot complete this by myself! It needs your magic! [GRUNTS WEAKLY.]
Can't cast.
But you can.
Take this.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
The Eye of Agamotto.
By the Seven Suns of Cinnibus, by the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth, and by the Lights of the All-Seeing Eye of Agomotto! Aahh! You did it.
Now we need the spark.
[ROARS.]
I'm back, and I feel like smashing! [YELLING.]
[GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Loki you appreciate and understand power.
Join me, and help me crush the Avengers.
Have you not been paying attention? I suppose it's not your fault for asking.
But let me connect the dots for you in a way your simple brain can understand.
I am an Avenger! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Nice job, Loki.
I'll take it from here.
Thor, the Bifrost needs your lightning! Hurry! Could've fallen in line, but you persisted in defying me! [AVENGERS GRUNT.]
[YELLS.]
[STRAINING.]
The lab mice always think they have a chance.
But they're wrong.
See, I make the rules, and the cold truth is, you have no chance.
You never did.
[JANE.]
Oh, there's always a chance.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS, GROANS.]
Jane! Say good-bye, Dr.
Foster.
[GRUNTING.]
It's quicksand! [STRAINS, YELLS.]
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
No! Thor! [GRUNTING.]
[LAUGHS.]
Jane! [GRUNTS.]
Aahhh! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
The hammer went to Jane! Nay.
Jane took the hammer.
This can't be happening.
You know what they say, Beyonder.
Whoever is worthy will possess the power of Thor! [CRIES OUT.]
You bested me.
But my experiment's not done.
Yes, it is.
Curse you, Avengers! [CRIES OUT, ECHOING.]
Asgard.
'Tis restored.
So is Earth, and everything else.
We did it! We won! Whoo! Yeah! [ANT-MAN.]
Ha-ha-ha! Yeah! All right.
We stomped the Beyonder and saved the universe.
I don't know about you, but I need a vacation.
And we could never have done it without Loki.
Uh, I am surprised as anyone at how this turned out.
Well done, Loki.
But before we return home, a little housekeeping.
I need you to return the Eye of Agamotto to me.
No.
Marvel.
We gotta move fast, so here are the deets.
The alien Beyonder took parts of planets with all the people and all the Avengers, then mashed it up to make Battleworld.
Loki switched sides.
Now he and Iron Man just finished building a new Bifrost.
With it, we can undo Battleworld and send everyone home.
The fate of the universe is at stake.
No pressure.
[IRON MAN.]
With the info we got from the Beyonder's Citadel, we finished building the Bifrost.
But we can't turn it on until we deliver it to the proper location.
That's why we need all of you to stay on the move.
If you're lucky, you'll draw the Beyonder away from us.
If we're lucky, the Bifrost won't blow up in our faces.
Tempting fate by making a "blow up in our faces" joke.
Why so nervous, Dr.
Foster? Because it's crunch time.
Everything comes down to this.
It's a big moment.
Well, sometimes the moment chooses you.
Ooh, that sounded great.
Very dramatic.
I had a tech on it, though.
Can we get another read? This time facing the camera.
Don't you have something you should be doing? Uh, by the way, if anybody finds a coffee mug with my name on it, that's, uh that's mine.
I'm sensing something most grave.
Doctor Strange is right.
I sense it too.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
The Beyonder.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[STATIC.]
[CAPTAIN AMERICA.]
Brace yourselves, Avengers! This is no pleasure cruise, so stay sharp, Avengers.
Ms.
Marvel, Vision, we need you to secure the Bifrost.
No big.
We got it.
[FALCON.]
The storm's not moving.
Maybe we gave the Beyonder the slip.
Well, that's the hope.
If we're lucky, by the time the Beyonder figures it out, we'll be long [VEHICLE APPROACHING.]
Oh! You see it? - Yeah.
- Wish I didn't.
[GROWLS.]
[YELLS.]
[FALCON.]
Well, that's not something you see every day.
Not even on Battleworld.
Pick a target and start blasting.
[BEEPS.]
[GROWLING.]
[ROARS.]
[SNARLS.]
Of course.
An entire planet destined only for war, and you Avengers want to take that away from me? [GRUNTS.]
Hey, Ares, think fast! Aah! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS, YELLS.]
[GROWLING.]
[YELLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
How's it on this side? Our situation is tenuous.
Is it better on the other side? Uh, no.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROWLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
Keep them away from the Bifrost.
[GROWLING.]
Embiggen! [BOTH GRUNT.]
This is your stop! Off you go! Aaahhh! Any reason why this platform's so slow? My grandma drives faster than this, and she thinks driving over 25 is a sin.
What, you want me to go back there and push? [HORN BLARES.]
Hmm.
That's worrisome.
[GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
Uh-oh.
Everyone hold on! [YELLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
Look out! [BOTH YELL.]
Hawkeye! Widow! [YELLS, GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
Clint! I'm okay.
[MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING.]
[GHOST RIDER GRUNTS.]
[GROWLS, GRUNTS.]
I got him.
[GRUNTS.]
You're gonna have to do better than that, son! [GRUNTS.]
Lucky shot.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
You wanna see a real lucky shot? Check this out.
- You hurt? - [GRUNTS.]
I'll be fine.
Hope the others can say the same.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[GRUNTS.]
Vision! [GRUNTING.]
[YELLING.]
[YELLING.]
You lack the stomach for combat, Captain.
[GRUNTS.]
You could be a great warrior if you'd only embrace the glory of battle! [SWORD BLOWS LANDING.]
[GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Greatness doesn't come from fighting, Ares.
[GRUNTING.]
Greatness comes from finding a way to stop it! [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES.]
Huh? [CRIES OUT.]
[GRUNTING.]
Now this fight is done.
Huh? [GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GROWLS.]
Come on, Tony.
We can do it.
Sensors showing something fast coming up on our tail.
And cue the Beyonder.
We need to get out of this valley.
Kamala, take the wheel.
Me? Why me? I don't know.
Why not you? Gah! There must be 150 different controls in here! [IRON MAN.]
A hundred-and-fifty-one! There you are.
You can't run from me, Stark.
Who's running? [GRUNTS.]
You interfere with my experiment, then you reject my offer of immortality.
You're nothing but a constant source of irritation! Constant irritation? They have a topical cream for that now.
[GRUNTS.]
The only joy I will get from you is watching you suffer.
I just wanna state for the record that I don't even have my learner's permit yet.
Gah! How do you adjust the seat back? Never mind.
I can do this! [ALL GRUNT.]
Uh-oh.
Tony, what do we do now? Tony? [ALARM BEEPING.]
I'm going to crush everything you've ever built.
But first, I'm going to crush you.
[CRYING OUT.]
[GRUNTS.]
[ELECTRICITY ARCING.]
[GRUNTS.]
I can't hold it! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
[GROANING.]
Now begins the end of Tony Stark.
Did you think I would let you use the Bifrost against me? What's a Bifrost? Don't play dumb with me.
[CHUCKLES.]
I have to play dumb with you, because you're dumb.
You're very dumb.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
It was my idea to use the Bifrost to build Battleworld.
Then you steal my idea to use the Bifrost to undo my Battleworld.
You're just a copycat, a thief! I thought there was more to you than this.
Ares, tear the Bifrost apart.
[CHUCKLES.]
With pleasure.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? [GASPS.]
Mm? It's what Ant-Man had lying around.
A decoy? Well, technically, it's a coffee mug.
We needed to keep you distracted for as long as possible.
And you fell for it.
Because, again dumb.
See ya, suspenders! This isn't over, Stark! Aah! Does no one understand Battleworld but me? Somebody fight me! Aah! [GROWLS.]
You want someone to fight, we can oblige.
[CAPTAIN MARVEL.]
We gotta work fast, Avengers.
Wasp, the package.
[WASP.]
Tony wanted it positioned right at this spot.
Then that's my cue.
B.
R.
B.
[GRUNTS.]
Everybody step back.
Doctor Strange, Loki, you're up.
Our worlds are depending on us getting the Bifrost up and running.
[GRUNTING.]
What is it, Black Panther? I am sensing something.
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINES IN DISTANCE.]
[CAPTAIN MARVEL.]
There's your something.
[BLACK PANTHER.]
Avengers, we are under siege.
Create a perimeter and defend the Bifrost at all costs.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Accursed creatures, have at thee! [GROWLING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
These guys look tired.
I think they need a break! [GASPS.]
Too many skeletons on this mountain.
[YELLS.]
[YELLS.]
Aah! They're buying us time.
keep going! [GROWLS.]
Don't bring that weak sauce here, biker guy.
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[YELLS.]
Wasp, I got things here.
You rally the others.
Me? You're not just an Avenger.
You are a leader.
Now get to work! Let's do it, boys and girls! Don't hold back! SEND THESE REJECTS THE MESSAGE: Avengers can do this all day, all night, all the time.
Aah! Attagirl.
[GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aaahhh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Aaahhh! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? Hulk! [CRIES OUT.]
[YELLING.]
The Bifrost must be started up in precise order.
If the monsters interrupt the process, we'll never get home.
Don't stop.
You two keep at it.
Jane Foster's gotta go to work.
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[YELLS, GRUNTS.]
[YELLS.]
You certainly know how to make an entrance.
Stop.
You're embarrassing me.
Actually, do not stop.
We need that Bifrost running.
[WHOOSH.]
I dig your new suit.
It just screams, "I'm the Beyonder, and I'm overcompensating.
" You think you're special.
But you're not the only one who can build armor.
I'm not the only one.
I'm just the best.
[GRUNTS.]
[BEYONDER.]
No more tricks, no more running.
You want to destroy my experiment? Then I will see you destroyed.
Your world, your friends, everything you love destroyed.
[GROWLS.]
[LAUGHS.]
What, no jokey banter? Good! [GRUNTING.]
[YELLING.]
[ALARM BEEPING.]
Your tech is dull, without edge.
My tech has bite.
Your tech bites.
[CRIES OUT.]
Aw.
You seem to have taken on a little damage.
I'll make it more.
I've got one trick left up my sleeve.
Huh? What is this? Just a little something I cooked up.
Aah! [GROANS.]
My systems disrupted.
But how? Old-school computer virus.
From info I hacked from your Citadel.
[GRUNTS.]
[PANTS.]
[ELECTRICITY ARCING.]
I always win, Stark.
If you'd done what I told you, Battleworld could've been your triumph.
[GRUNTS.]
BREAKING NEWS ALERT: Battleworld is over.
You didn't win.
[YELLS.]
This energy won't hold for long! By the Seven Suns of [GRUNTS.]
[GHOST RIDER YELLS.]
Doctor Strange! Get up! There isn't much time! Strange, I cannot complete this by myself! It needs your magic! [GRUNTS WEAKLY.]
Can't cast.
But you can.
Take this.
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
The Eye of Agamotto.
By the Seven Suns of Cinnibus, by the Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth, and by the Lights of the All-Seeing Eye of Agomotto! Aahh! You did it.
Now we need the spark.
[ROARS.]
I'm back, and I feel like smashing! [YELLING.]
[GROWLING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Loki you appreciate and understand power.
Join me, and help me crush the Avengers.
Have you not been paying attention? I suppose it's not your fault for asking.
But let me connect the dots for you in a way your simple brain can understand.
I am an Avenger! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Nice job, Loki.
I'll take it from here.
Thor, the Bifrost needs your lightning! Hurry! Could've fallen in line, but you persisted in defying me! [AVENGERS GRUNT.]
[YELLS.]
[STRAINING.]
The lab mice always think they have a chance.
But they're wrong.
See, I make the rules, and the cold truth is, you have no chance.
You never did.
[JANE.]
Oh, there's always a chance.
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS, GROANS.]
Jane! Say good-bye, Dr.
Foster.
[GRUNTING.]
It's quicksand! [STRAINS, YELLS.]
[LAUGHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
No! Thor! [GRUNTING.]
[LAUGHS.]
Jane! [GRUNTS.]
Aahhh! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[YELLS.]
The hammer went to Jane! Nay.
Jane took the hammer.
This can't be happening.
You know what they say, Beyonder.
Whoever is worthy will possess the power of Thor! [CRIES OUT.]
You bested me.
But my experiment's not done.
Yes, it is.
Curse you, Avengers! [CRIES OUT, ECHOING.]
Asgard.
'Tis restored.
So is Earth, and everything else.
We did it! We won! Whoo! Yeah! [ANT-MAN.]
Ha-ha-ha! Yeah! All right.
We stomped the Beyonder and saved the universe.
I don't know about you, but I need a vacation.
And we could never have done it without Loki.
Uh, I am surprised as anyone at how this turned out.
Well done, Loki.
But before we return home, a little housekeeping.
I need you to return the Eye of Agamotto to me.
No.