Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s02e19 Episode Script

You Can't Always Get What You Want

[ROCKET] Ah, flarg! The port thruster blew out again! Don't just stand there like a stump! Toss me some duct tape! [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [YELLS] I am Groot! What do you mean you used it up wrapping birthday presents for your family? They're still a bunch of twigs! Perhaps I can help, Rocket.
Whoa! Watch the fur, Warlock! Sorry.
I was trying to be useful.
[SCOFFS] If you really wanna be useful, get me some krutackin' duct tape! [CLANGING] [GRUMBLING] I am Groot.
[GRUNTS] This ship is much smaller than I remembered, Gamora.
Not surprising.
The last time you were here, you were just a baby.
There was much spitting up and changing of diapers.
Oh, don't remind me, Drax.
We finally got the smell out of the cushions.
So, Adam, I've been meaning to ask.
What have you been up to since the last time we saw you? I traversed the galaxy, Peter Quill, seeking meaning and purpose.
At first, all I could see was chaos.
But then I think I found my true path.
This I gotta hear.
I have been purging the galaxy of darkness by absorbing villains and evildoers into my cosmic gem.
When I am finished, only the light of pure good will illuminate this universe.
No more bad guys? Dude, that would be awesome! More like stupid impossible.
All things are possible if you open your mind.
I am Groot! Eh? Ah.
See? Some said it was impossible for Groot's civilization to return, but he never gave up hope.
Eh, hope is for suckers.
Me? I always expect the worst.
[THUD] [ROCKET GRUNTS] What was that? Ehh! Uh, guys, the giant space dragon is back.
Told ya! Ain't nothing worse than a giant space dragon! [ROARING] Fin Fang Foom? What's he got against us? [DRAX] He has clearly come seeking vengeance.
Although for what, I cannot remember.
[ROARING] Whatever it was, it's probably Rocket's fault.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Always blame the little guy.
[MISSILES WHISTLE] [ALARM BEEPING] [ALL YELL] What'd I tell ya? Expect the worst.
That's why I always pack an extra couple of these insulated force shield generators.
I'll draw him away from the ship.
[ROARING] Hey, big, green, and scaly! Over here! Okay, this is the part where you're supposed to move away from the ship.
Stop looking at me like that! - [GAMORA] Quill, watch out for his tail! - What are you Ohh! [DRAX, GAMORA GRUNT] I'll save them.
You try to contain the beast.
[GROWLING] - How are we supposed to do that? - I am Groot! [ROARING] Whoa! [GROOT SCREAMING] [WHIMPERS] [GROWLING] Groot! Groot, speak to me, bud! The beast is a boundless force of irrational rage.
It cannot be controlled.
It must be contained! [GROWLING] [SCREAMING] Adam! [GROANS] I'm all right.
It was just the strain of absorbing such a massive creature.
That must have given you some serious heartburn.
His heart does not appear to be on fire.
At least you are all safe now.
Not all of us.
I am Groot! There.
That should hold.
Now let's see what I can do for Groot.
Welcome back, big guy.
[GRUNTS] I am Groot? Interesting question.
[ROCKET] Stupid question.
Just 'cause Warlock gave you the cosmic fertilizer whammy don't mean he can instantly grow your entire civilization.
Actually, I believe I could.
So, should we set a course for Planet Y? Why bother? Look, you can't just wave your hands and fix everything in this messed-up universe.
It's cruel to give Groot false hope when something bad's gonna come along and take it away.
[GRUNTS] I am Groot? 'Cause something bad always comes along, that's why.
All this stupid talk of hope is really starting to get under my fur! Ugh! [GRUMBLING] Rocket, my friend, have I somehow offended you? Look, you wanna help Groot's people? Peachy.
But I got people too.
See? [CHITTERING] [X-8] Subjects appear content in their natural environment.
Cease all violent activity! Stay back! They're good people.
Was it better when they could walk on two legs and talk to me? Sure.
But you don't see me askin' for miracles.
And yet I sense this is something you desire.
What if I could re-evolve your family for you? Forget it! I don't need no pity! It's not pity, Rocket.
I want to prove that there is such a thing as hope in this world.
Oh, sure there is.
For guys like you.
Please, let me help.
But on one condition.
We don't tell nobody what we're doin'.
But why? 'Cause this is gonna be a total waste of time.
I know it.
And I wanna see your face when you fail.
If your family is half as charming as you are, I'm looking forward to meeting them.
[CHITTERING] [GRUNTING] [GROWLING] [LAUGHS] Yeah, they seem to like you, too, Goldie.
Really feelin' the good vibrations.
[GRUNTS] Don't give up hope, Rocket.
The universe will align, and I will make this right.
The same energy that healed Groot can evolve your family.
I know it.
[SCREECHING] Aahh! [YELLING] [GRUNTING, CRYING OUT] No, Ma! Get off! He's trying to help you! [SCREAMING] [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [GRUNTS] [GROANS] What the flarg? Oh, great! Warlock absorbed us into his stupid gem! [GROWLING] [YELLS] [GROWLING] Oh, you again? [LAUGHS] Oh, this just gets better and better! [GRUNTING] [ROARING] Warlock, if this is a joke, I ain't laughin'! And you won't neither when I get my paws on you! [GRUNTING] Is it just me, or are these family get-togethers never as warm and fuzzy as I pictured? [GROWLING] Huh? Now what? Wait.
I know that ship.
That's the High Evolutionary's ship.
Which means this shindig just got upgraded from failure to total catastrophe! [LIFT CLACKING, CREAKING] [GROWLING] [ROCKET GRUNTS] [CHITTERING] [ROARING] [ROCKET] Whoa.
Looks like Warlock wasn't kiddin' when he said he was ridding the galaxy of evil.
What have we here? A breathtaking work of genetic art.
So now I'm stranded here with these losers and that genetics-crazed nutjob who could be the only person in the universe that could actually re-evolve my family.
That couldn't have been Warlock's plan, could it? [LOUD CHITTERING] [ROCKET GRUNTS, YELLS] Ma! Sis! Ranger! Get off! [GROWLING] [WEAPONS COCKING] Huh? Who dares interrupt the High Evolutionary while he's creating? The only thing you create is a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
You! What are you doing here? And why did you bring these vermin? What? Ya think I brung 'em here just so you could re-evolve 'em? Ha! Like you could actually do that.
What are you blathering about? Hey, these ain't just any ordinary vermin.
[CHITTERING] They've been evolved and devolved by the greatest minds on Halfworld.
Their DNA is so complicated, no one could figure it out.
Not even you, Chrome-Dome.
It could be an interesting challenge.
Sort of a genetic found art piece.
But no.
I'd need something more from you in return.
And unfortunately, your DNA is of no use to me.
Not interested? Eh, fine.
I'm out of this krutackin' gem world.
You know a way out of this accursed realm? [CHUCKLES] Yeah.
What's to to ya? [HIGH EVOLUTIONARY] Do you have any idea what it's like for an artist like me, stuck in this wasteland with this limited genetic palette? I need color.
I need variety! I need inspiration! Not my problem.
But I do know a guy who can get us outta here, and you know the price.
Evolving your family? Child's play.
Come! We must fetch my lab equipment.
Whoa! Warlock's crazy plan might actually work! But that'd mean he's actually right.
So [CHUCKLES] no, it can't work.
[GAMORA] Has anyone seen Adam? Nope.
Well, come to think of it, I haven't seen Rocket either.
I am Groot! Yeah, we know Rocket's missing.
Try to keep up.
[GRUNTS] I am Groot.
I am Groot! Wait.
Are you saying Rocket took Warlock to Halfworld to help his family? I am Groot.
Setting a course for Halfworld.
What do you need the lizard for? I'll need a massive amount of life energy to fix your family.
Unless, of course, you have an objection.
Eh, do what you gotta do.
Even if it's for my own family.
[HOWLING CONTINUES] [GRUNTS, YELLS] We've arrived at Halfworld.
But how will we find Warlock? [THUD] Found him! Aaahhh! [GRUNTS] [ENERGY BLASTING] What is he doing? [DRAX] He appears to greatly dislike those rocks.
Stay back! I can't control it! I absorbed Rocket, and I don't want to absorb you too! [GRUNTS] Aaahh! The darkness it's seeping out of me! I cannot keep it in! [GRUNTS] [ALL YELL] We've got to stop him before he hurts himself.
Really? He's the guy you're worried about getting hurt? I am Groot! No! I said stay back! [YELLS] [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [GRUNTS] I am Groot? [GROWLING] I need more energy.
[WHIRRING LOUDLY] [WHIRRING STOPS] [GRUNTS, GASPS] I am Groot! - Groot! How'd you find me? - I am Groot! What? Just 'cause something goes boom don't mean it's Okay, it's usually me.
- I am Groot? - My family? They're getting fixed by the High Evolutionary.
But I couldn't stand to watch.
Rerouting circuits.
[POWERING UP] [ROARING] [SCREAMING] I thought I was good enough! I thought I could control the evil! How could I have been so wrong? Adam, you've got to fight it.
[PANTS] The evil within me is too strong! [EVIL LAUGHTER] I can feel it the darkness! [YELLING] [ALL CRYING OUT] Forgive me, my friends.
I can't control the darkness within me! [ALL SCREAMING] [GRUNTS] Not cool, Adam! [GRUNTING] Everyone, fall back! Drax the Destroyer does not fall back! [GROANING] [YELLS] Usually.
[SCREECHING] So, you brought me another specimen.
Excellent! I've been wanting to create with more of his DNA.
I am Groot! [GRUNTS] What'd you do that for? He was in the middle of fixing my family.
I am Groot! What do you mean the gecko's pain is causing Warlock to go dark? I am Groot! So we stop Warlock from hurting our friends after my family gets re-evolved! I am Groot! It ain't fair! You get your people back.
I was almost starting to have hope, and now you wanna take it away? I am Groot.
[FIN FANG FOOM SCREECHING] [BEEPING] [MACHINE POWERING DOWN] [GROWLING] I am Groot! [WEAPON FIRING] I am Groot? What? Just 'cause my hackles are up don't mean I wanna see ya get torched again.
I I am Groot.
Yeah, I get it.
You wanna make nice to Foomy so's Warlock can calm down.
But I got a better idea.
If we really wanna help Goldie restore his inner balance, we gotta irritate him until he purges us from his system.
I am Groot? Trust me, there's nothing better than a good purge.
Rodents do it all the time.
Not that'd I know anything about that! [ROARING] [BEEPING] Guys, this way! [CHITTERING] [SIGHS] Figures.
They never listen to anyone.
I am Groot! [CHITTERING CONTINUES] Show-off.
We gotta annoy him more! I am Groot? Have you met my krutackin' family? Just follow my lead.
Hey, Ma, how's about a hug for your little runt? [CHITTERING] [ROARING] [GROWLING] That's it! Just keep being your usual annoying selves! Nothing worse than having wild rodents in your armpits! Aaahhh! The pain! Make it stop! [ALL GRUNT] [ROARING] [ROCKET] It's working! We gotta head toward that portal! I am Groot! [GRUNTING] [GROWLING] Can't hold it in! [GROWLS] This looks like our stop.
[GRUNTS] Rocket! Groot! [SCREAMS] Finally, out of that accursed Wait.
What's this? It's him! The portrait of genetic perfection! Forget the dragon.
I want the Warlock! Let's move this party somewhere else.
Come on, Adam! Go on.
There is no hope for me.
There's always hope.
[BEEPS] [CREAKING] Especially 'cause I rigged the ship to blow up while Chrome-Dome was experimenting on my family.
Like I said, always prepare for the worst.
That's why you put erasers on pencils and escape pods on spaceships.
[CHITTERING] I am Groot.
[ROCKET] I know that also means the bad guys got away.
With any luck, the dragon'll have 'em for breakfast.
Rocket, I'm sorry I could not help your family.
I was wrong to give you false hope.
Nah, you were right.
Not about my family, but about hope.
Just 'cause you expect the worst don't mean you can't still hope for the best.
[CHITTERING] My family may still be a bunch of feral garbage pickers, but they're good people.
And I'm gonna miss 'em when we go.
[CHUCKLING] What do you mean, they don't want to leave you? They can't stay with us.
It's too dangerous.
Especially for me.
I am Groot! [SCREECHING] [WARLOCK] This was an inspired idea, Groot.
Rocket's family will be safe and happy here among your people and the Klyntar.
Yeah, it's great for them.
[GRUNTS] What about me? I still got nothin'.
[CHITTERING] Ma, no! Not again! [GASPS] I am Groot? [CHITTERING] [SIGHS] Like I said, they're good people.