Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s03e05 Episode Script

Titan Up

Rocket's List of Grievances number 305 in a never-ending series.
I am Groot.
[SIGHS] With illustrations by Groot.
[LAUGHS] So, we captured that krutacker Thanos and were all set to turn him in to Nova Corps for, like, a zillion-unit reward.
But instead, Corpsman Dey and that helmet kid, Sam, showed up to take him for themselves.
Then a bunch of Kallusians tried to steal Thanos for themselves.
So, while everybody's shooting at everybody else, helmet-head flies off with Thanos.
[QUILL] Rocket, quit whining and get up here.
We tracked Thanos's pod signal to Titan.
[DRAX SIGHS] We are most fortunate.
Someone has already destroyed Thanos's fleet.
No, Drax.
That's what's left of those who dared to attack Thanos.
Titan is where Thanos trained all his children.
I swore I'd never come back here.
[BEEPS] Sweet.
I've got a lock on Thanos's prison pod.
How goes the hacking? I can't get a response from Titan's master computer.
- Is that bad? - I'm gonna go with "yes"! It's just some scavenger bots.
They only dismantle dead ships.
[ROCKET] Uh, Gamora, tell that to them! [SAM] Okay, Thanos.
I brought you to Titan.
Now, where's my dad? Patience, child.
You'll see your father very soon.
I'm done with patience.
I've spent years looking for my dad, and all I know is he disappeared trying to capture you.
What are these things? A first line of defense against those foolish enough to attack the home world of Thanos.
So how do we get past them? You don't.
I do.
Aah! Good-bye, child.
It appears this one survived.
He'll wish he hadn't.
[GAMORA] We need to take out those scavenger bots before they devour the whole ship.
[ALARM BLARING] Uh, Rocket? Is the "catalytic ion exchange matrix" important? [ROCKET] Only if you wanna keep breathin'.
[GROOT] I am Groot! [GROANS] How'd I get here? Where's my helmet? Don't worry, lad.
You won't live long enough to put it on again.
[YELLS] [WHOOPING, CHEERING] Hey, ugly! Give me back my helmet! [CHUCKLES OVER P.
A.
SYSTEM] Why don't you try to take it? Since you insist [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] What'd you do, weld it on? [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [CROWD CHEERING] Get away from my son, you krutackers! Dad? [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [GROOT CHUCKLING] - I am Groot.
- [ROCKET] You're right.
This is almost as good as getting reward units.
Almost.
[QUILL] Still, we should probably dig the purple guy out.
With pleasure.
[GRUNTS] Where is Sam? The child served his purpose.
You monster! Drax will destroy you! - [GAMORA] Wait! - Ah, my favorite daughter.
I knew you'd come for me.
To rescue you or destroy you? The choice is yours.
You are as I raised you loyal and ruthless.
You have nothing to do with who I am now.
Guys, guys, guys.
Look, we have to turn him in alive so he can be punished for his crimes.
- It's the right thing to do.
- That, and Nova Corps won't pay squat for a big, purple corpse.
Two against two.
What do you say, Groot? Uhh hmm How can you remain silent? Thanos destroyed your entire planet.
[GRUNTS] I am Groot.
[THUDDING FOOTSTEPS] I am Groot! Step away from Thanos! He's my bounty, ya [GRUNTS] [YELLS] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [CHUCKLES] I've taught you well.
Then it's time I taught you! Dropt it! Or I break her! Well done, my loyal warriors.
Now free me so I can finish them.
You ain't the boss here no more.
I reckon there's plenty who'd like to remind you of that fact in the arena.
[CROWD SHOUTING] Aahh! [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [CROWD CHEERING] [SHOUTING] [GROANS] No one touches my son! Aahh! Dad! [WHOOPING] [GROANING] Dad! [GROANS] Stay back, Sam.
[GRUNTS] Those are cerebral parasites.
Whatever pain you've inflicted in your life, they make you feel it all, over and over.
[SCREAMING] I didn't come this far to watch you suffer.
[GRUNTING] Dad, are you okay? I [GROANS] I will be.
It's okay, Dad.
I'll handle this.
- No.
[GROANS] - You're still weak.
You don't have the experience, Sam.
Give me the helmet.
You have to trust me.
[GROWLS, GASPS] [GRUNTS] Aahh! [SCREAMING] Bring on the pain! [LAUGHING] You want pain? Who here would like to bring the pain to Thanos? [CROWD WHOOPING, CHEERING] [MUFFLED YELLING] [QUILL] Oh, hey.
Look, Sam's alive.
Not for much longer if we don't get him out of that pit.
[BOTH GRUNT] Curs and ruffians, I declare a hand-to-hand contest for the ultimate prize: the Mad Titan himself! [CHEERING] [GRUNTING] Hmm? [DRAX] I have sworn vengeance against Thanos, and I alone shall destroy him! Who among you would challenge Drax the Destroyer? I will challenge you! [WHOOPING] [SCREAMING] [CHEERING] [GRUNTS] Ow! [ELECTRICITY ARCING] Drax is just the distraction we need to rescue Sam.
I've known every inch of this arena since I was a child.
I can get to him.
But one of us has to sneak out there and get Sam's helmet.
Somebody no one will pay attention to, ever.
See, now, that's just rude.
[YELLS] [CHEERING, SHOUTING] Who is next? [CROWD CONTINUES SHOUTING, CHEERING] [YELLS] I have to empty the pit.
Then we can get to Sam.
[GROANING] [CHITTERS] [YELLS] Whatever you once were, child you belong to Thanos now.
[SAM SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] You all right, kid? That That was horrible.
He'll be fine.
He's young.
He hasn't inflicted much pain.
That's something that has to be learned.
Not bad for a guy no one pays any attention t You don't look so good, Sam.
Hey! Hands off, Mr.
Grabby! It's my helmet.
[COUGHING] Dad, you're still too weak.
This grungy old dude is your dad? Doesn't matter who you are.
You're both too weak to deal with Thanos.
Thanos? Thanos is here? He said he'd lead me to you.
You made a bargain with Thanos? Look, don't worry.
He's locked up tight in a prison pod.
[YELLS] Well, then, I have to fly him to Xandar.
No.
You're both going to stay down here until you recover.
Yeah.
Gamora's right.
We got this.
I am Groot.
I am not just saying that so that we'll get the bounty.
[SQUEALS] [CROWD CHEERING] Who else will challenge Drax? No one? Then I claim my prize.
Thanos is mine! [THANOS LAUGHING] Why do you laugh, Thanos? The hour of your destruction is at hand! It's ironic, watching you fight so valiantly in the very arena where you refused to fight for Ronan, because your refusal is the reason I ordered your family destroyed.
[YELLS] [BLOWS LANDING] [DRAX GRUNTING, YELLING] [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [YELLS] [LAUGHING] Drax, he's using you.
This is what he wants.
Then he shall have it! [YELLS] [GRUNTING] [GRUNTING] Drax, you've gotta stop! He ain't worth nothin' in pieces! Do not interfere! [GROANS] [YELLS] [BOTH GRUNTING] [GRUNTS] I am Groot? Where were you a minute ago? He's your bounty, too, you know! [BOTH GRUNTING] [YELLS] [YELLING] [CROWD CHEERING] Drax, don't do this.
I was wrong.
This isn't justice.
If you take down Thanos like this, you won't destroy him, you'll become him.
[CROWD SHOUTING] [GROANS] My ever-loyal daughter.
You chose to save me after all.
I have already destroyed you, Thanos, by exposing your weakness.
Weakness? [LAUGHS] [LAUGHING] [METALLIC CLINKING] [THUNDEROUS CLANG] I shall show you weakness and destruction! [THANOS] You have interfered in my affairs for the last time! If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one.
Huh.
Now, that was a boom.
[LAUGHS] You Nova fool! Clearly, you have forgotten about my defenses.
Call them off, Thanos.
No one can call them off.
They were designed to hunt and destroy Novas.
[YELLS] [YELLS] I am Groot! Dad! What are you doing out here? Get back inside! Listen! These things are resistant to Nova Force.
Not if you know where to aim.
Not my first rodeo, son! Now go! Hey, that big, purple chicken is runnin' away! [GRUNTS] Thanos doesn't run.
He survives.
He's going to the bunker beneath the arena.
From there, he can regain control over all of Titan.
I can handle the drones.
You guys go after Thanos.
[ROCKET] Fine, but we ain't splittin' the reward with ya! Aah! Dad! I'm fine.
Just need a minute.
Just trust me.
Not my first rodeo either.
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Planetary defense system online.
[ELECTRICITY ARCING] [CRIES OUT] Sorry we're late.
Another irritating obstruction.
[GRUNTS] [YELLING] [GRUNTING, GROANING] [YELLS] [GRUNTING] Hope this doesn't lower his mint-condition value.
[YELLS] Insolent rodent! What? Ha! Not exactly what I planned, but still teamwork.
And pathetic teamwork at that.
[GROOT YELLS, GRUNTS] I am Groot.
[GROOT THUDS] [FOOTSTEPS] Serve me or succeed me, daughter.
Either way, you cannot escape my legacy.
I made you who you are.
You are the Most Dangerous Woman in the Galaxy because Thanos wills it.
Do you remember this? It's a Zen-Whoberi Symbol of Harmony.
It's the part of me that you could never mold into your image.
The part that seeks to connect with others, befriend them, protect them, depend on them.
That's the woman my real family willed me to be the woman I am.
[YELLING] [YELLS] [CLANGS] [YELLS, GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [GROANS] [THUDS] [THANOS] So, you are not a worthy successor after all.
Pity.
Your friends have only delayed the inevitable.
An antimatter reaction will destroy everything on the surface.
[ELECTRICITY ARCING] And I will build my empire upon the ashes, just as I did on the home world of the Groots, cutting them down like the weeds they were.
[WHIMPERING] [STRAINING] I am Groot! [ROARING] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] I am Groot! [STRAINING] [STRAINING CONTINUES] [YELLS] [GRUNTING] I am Groot! [BLOWS LANDING] Groot, stop! You can't do this! [GROOT GRUNTING] Hey, quit damagin' the merchandise! Defeat is revenge enough.
Groot, please.
Not like this.
I am Groot.
[AUTOMATED VOICE] Warning.
Antimatter reaction in five, four, three [DESCENDING WHIRRING] [ELECTRICITY ARCING] [PANTING] [NOVA PRIME] I know the Guardians' relationship with the Nova Corps has been irregular.
But I congratulate you all.
Not only for bringing a galactic criminal to justice, but for rescuing one of Nova's finest.
Welcome back to the Corps, Centurion Jesse Alexander.
Thank you, Nova Prime, but I think it's time to pass my helmet on.
And since the Corps has seen fit to train my son Who, I might remind you, deserted his post with a wanted fugitive.
Which led directly to my rescue and the capture of several dozen more wanted fugitives.
You make an excellent point.
Well done, Centurion Sam Alexander.
Make me proud, son.
I will, Dad.
I would ask that you show mercy to these warriors.
Many have been twisted by the will of Thanos.
But despite the evil deeds of their past, they remain good people.
He's talking about you.
I get it, Quill.
I am Groot.
Thank you.
Hey, I guess you really are Drax the Destroyer now, huh? 'Cause you totally destroyed Thanos! I no longer require that name.
From now on, you may call me Drax the Just Drax.
Clearly, I need to work on this new title.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is all very inspiring.
Now, how about forkin' over our reward units? I'm afraid I can't do that.
What? After all this hassle, we still don't get the bounty? I can't hand it over because the reward units have already been transferred to your accounts.
Hmm [BEEPS] [LAUGHS] Holy krutack! We're flargin' rich! [DEVICE SHATTERS]