Max and the Midknights (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
- [roars]
[villagers scream]
[sheep bleats]
[dramatic music]
[flames crackling]
[upbeat rock music]
- Oh ♪
[roars]
- Oh ♪
Let's do this.
[roars]
Ha! You missed.
I thought I was fighting
a dragon,
not a kitten with wings.
Seriously? That's all you got?
[screams]
[growls]
Over here.
[driving rock music]
♪
- [vocalizing]
♪
Aah!
[gasps] Hmm.
- Good dream?
- Yeah. The best.
- Let me guess: you were
playing a packed amphitheater,
and the crowd won't let you
leave the stage.
They keep cheering,
"We love you!
Encore! Sign my baby!"
Uh, yeah, you guessed it!
Not to worry, Max.
All your dreams will come true
when you're a troubadour
like me someday.
- [laughs lightly]
A troubadour? Can't wait.
[string twangs]
[grimaces]
[upbeat music]
- Lotta people tellin' me
what I should be ♪
But I wanna make
my own destiny ♪
Got a feelin'
that it might be time for me ♪
- To find my own way ♪
- [grunts]
- 'Cause I can feel it
in my heart ♪
It takes a lot to be brave,
but just a little to start ♪
Let's go take
a million chances ♪
Let's go change
our circumstances ♪
I'm gonna write
my own story ♪
And the hero is me ♪
[lively music]
♪
- So here's how
this whole troubadour thing
is supposed to work.
You roll
into some random town,
a crowd gathers,
you put on a show,
the crowd applauds
and throws money at you
- Huzzah!
- Bravo!
[cheers and applause]
So beautiful.
The voice of an angel.
- And you use that money
to buy food
and avoid starving to death.
Sounds good, right?
Only thing is, that's not quite
how this usually goes for us.
[tape squeaking]]
[rooster crows]
- Come gather round, farmers
and weavers and nurses ♪
[crowed jeering]
I'll sing you a song ♪
That has 4,289 verses ♪
- Boo!
- Stop!
- My pigs sing better!
- [grunts]
- Definitely not the voice
of an angel.
- I just try to collect
as much food
as I can
before things get ugly,
which should be
in about three, two--
Chase them out!
There it is.
- Impale the troubadour!
- [shrieks]
Run, Max! Run away!
- Get out of here!
[crowd clamoring]
[horse neighs]
♪
[crowd yelling]
- Ha, I think that was one
of our better shows.
- Uh-huh.
Yeah, here, hold these.
Oh, wait, Max!
Don't worry, I've got this!
[grunts]
[pants]
There are tracks ahead!
- I think they went this way!
- This way!
Works every time.
Oof!
[adventurous music]
[horse neighs]
♪
Whoa!
Okay, I guess being
a troubadour isn't all bad.
- Uh-oh.
- Go! Go! Go!
[horse neighs]
I hate entertainment!
- Whoa.
- Why are you stopping?
Aren't we still
in pitchfork range?
No, look!
- By Jove, it's Byjovia!
Never thought I'd see it again.
- You've been there?
- Ha! I grew up there.
- What?
- I lived there
till my tenth birthday,
when I ran away.
If I'd have stayed in Byjovia,
I would have had to become--
brace yourself for this, Max--
a knight.
Bleh!
A knight?
- In Byjovia,
every boy must follow
in their father's footsteps.
My father was a knight,
so that meant I had
to be a knight.
And the minute I turned ten,
my dad just couldn't wait
to enroll me in knight school.
- Byjovia has a school
for knights?
- Ju-just terrible,
which is why I had to leave!
- So hold up, you're telling me
you left all that
to become a troubadour?
Of course I did!
I had to follow my heart, Max.
Why be what someone else
wants you to be
when you can be who you are?
Like how we're both meant
to be troubadours.
Yeah, about that.
Uh, the thing is, uh,
there's a guy
with a dagger right behind you.
- We talking little
friendly dagger
or big stabby stabby one?
Big stabby stabby one.
What he said.
Aah!
Run, Max!
[struggling]
Um.
[groans]
Oof.
Max, you're incredible!
Oh, stop. It was nothing.
[horse whinnies]
- Whoops.
- Dusty, come back!
[mutters groggily]
- Uh, let's go, Max,
before he wakes up.
- Uh, wait! Let's go that way.
To Byjovia.
But the open road.
That's where two troubadours
like us are meant to be.
- Look around--
the wagon's gone,
which means we have no food
and nowhere to sleep.
I think Byjovia's our best bet.
- At least for a little while.
- [grunts]
Aah! Byjovia it is!
[bright music]
♪
[grunts] Hmm.
Ha!
What? It's not stealing
if he tried to rob us first.
♪
- You know, Max,
the more I think about it,
you're really gonna like
Byjovia.
It's clean, safe,
and King Conrad really cares
about his people.
Why else would he institute
Two-For-One Turkey Leg
Tuesdays?
[discordant trumpets]
[townspeople coughing]
Quickly, get that rat!
That's dinner!
[spits]
Oh, that's nice!
- Uh, Uncle Budrick?
- Piping hot garbage!
- Uh, how can I put
this nicely?
Your hometown is
a total garbage dump.
- Gardyloo!
[pigs snorting]
Stay away from my pigs!
- [coughs violently]
- Oh.
How can King Conrad allow
such squalor?
What happened?
"In memory of King Conrad."
Oh.
[dismal western music]
♪
- [yawns]
Good morning, Kevyn.
Hey-hey, shouldn't you be in
the barn helping your father?
- Indeed I should,
but I'm working
on my latest story--
a grand adventure about
a hero who steals
from the rich to give to the--
- No feeding the poor!
- [gasps]
- Hey, you can't--
- Apologies.
This one's not right
in the head.
We're on our way
to see the exorcist?
Let's go, Max.
- What kind of town lets
their people starve?
- [chomps]
- Salutations, strangers.
I'm Kevyn, and I'm here
to welcome you to
A five, six, seven, eight.
crowd: Byjovia,
it's a utopia ♪
Byjovia ♪
- Food?
We have cornucopias ♪
But there's nothing there.
- Ignore all
the cockroach-ias ♪
crowd: In Byjovia ♪
- Are these people out
of their minds?
crowd: We think
you'll love our town ♪
See,
the infrastructure's sound ♪
My legs!
crowd: Joy
and happiness abounds ♪
Since Gastley was crowned
King of Byjovia ♪
Byjovia ♪
- King Gastley?
[crowd gasps]
Oh, love that guy!
Who's King Gastley?
- [quietly] Shh!
Sing to remain inconspicuous.
Who's King Gastley? ♪
When I lived here ♪
He was just a prince ♪
King Conrad's
younger brother ♪
His breath would
make you wince ♪
Clipped his toenails
in the market ♪
Bleh! I'm convinced!
- What did you say?
- Uh, huzzah!
Oh, huzzah!
crowd: Our poor are
plump and perky ♪
- You a foodie? ♪
crowd: Try the rat jerky ♪
The water in the well ♪
- Well, it's murky.
- Mama!
- Don't like it? Tough turkey.
- Mmm, chewy water! Yum!
crowd: Welcome to Byjovia ♪
We love it here!
- If only King Conrad
could reappear!
[gasps]
crowd: We love Byjovia ♪
Through the streets,
we all must slink ♪
But mustn't frown,
nay, even blink ♪
Lest we be jailed
for what we thinks ♪
- Everything is clean
and nice ♪
- Even all our lice
have lice ♪
- Food feels like more
if you take small bites ♪
- If we could vote,
we'd vote Gastley twice ♪
- If you didn't,
you'd pay the price in ♪
crowd: Byjovia ♪
It's a utopia, Byjovia ♪
[fireworks whistling]
Hmm, good song.
Little pitchy,
but yeah, not bad.
- So let me get this straight--
Byjovia is a
miserable sinkhole,
but if the people say
anything bad about
this King Gastley guy,
they're thrown in the dungeon?
[whispers] Or worse.
Now come, come, come.
It's not safe to talk here.
[eerie music]
♪
[bells ringing]
[chicken clucks]
[peaceful music]
- [burping]
Oh!
That was delicious, ma'am.
Please, call me Alice.
And I wish I could have
offered you more,
but food's hard to come by
in Byjovia.
I can't believe it.
Everything is so different
than it used to be.
- So what happened
to King Conrad?
- [squeals]
I'm so glad you asked, Max.
[clears throat] I have been
chronicling that very tale
in this book I'm writing.
"The reign of King Conrad
the Kind
"was happy and prosperous
until one day the king learned
"that a dragon was
on a rampage outside the city,
"laying waste
to villages and fields.
"In order to keep Byjovia safe,
"he bravely rode out
with a group
"of his most trusted knights
to slay the beast.
"But tragically, King Conrad
and the others never returned.
"A search party was sent,
but all they found was
King Conrad's battered shield
and broken crown."
- That's weird. Wonder why
he left those behind.
- Because he got eaten
by a dragon!
- Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
- Precisely.
"And on that very day,
"Gastley's forces
seized the castle,
and Gastley took the throne."
[ominous thud]
And ever since,
Byjovia has suffered
at King Gastley's cruel hands.
[sniffs] Rest in peace,
Two-For-One
Turkey Leg Tuesdays.
- Well, I say
we storm the castle,
fight this Gastley guy,
and find a new king!
- Villagers against
a whole army?
The odds of success
would be minuscule.
- What about
King Conrad's knights?
- Are there any left?
- Mm-mm.
- Then you need
some new knights.
- What about you, Kevyn?
- Me? Oh, no, no.
I'm to be an ostler
like my father,
taking care of horses.
What about you, Alice?
- Unfortunately,
girls aren't allowed
to become knights, Max.
Uh, what? Says who?
- Run, Millie!
What was that?
[suspenseful music]
[kids screaming]
[gasps] Max, wait!
[both screaming]
- Oh, no.
- Hey, leave us alone!
We didn't do anything.
- You'll have to answer
to King Gastley.
Luckily, I'm right here!
[jaunty music]
- Gastley ♪
♪
- Faster, faster.
Slower.
Slower. Slow--
have him killed.
- [gasps]
- Gastley ♪
- [sword slices]
- [groans]
Ah! What's this?
Do I see bare feet?
[whimpers disgustedly]
Guards, throw these shoeless
orphans into the dungeon!
- The dungeon?
But they're just kids.
- Um, full disclosure,
I have lice.
Ugh.
- It's not a crime
to have no shoes.
Oh, I assure you it is.
It's also a crime
to have bad breath,
wear white after Labor Day,
and there's absolutely
no whistling.
[whistles]
[grunts]
I'm fine.
- Yikes.
- We should go.
This town's no place
for a young kid
and a musical genius.
Somebody has to do something!
Why isn't anyone helping them?
[sadly] Fear, Max.
No one dares stand up
to King Gastley.
[crowd whispers]
[somber music]
Stop!
[all gasp]
What did you say to me?
- I said, "Leave them"--
- [gasps]
- Um, "Alone, please?"
Might not have thought
this one through.
- Well, well,
another filthy ragamuffin.
At least this one has shoes.
And I have this!
[scoffs]
[laughs]
How adorable!
Everyone, do you see how
absolutely adorable this is?
- [laughs]
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, I couldn't agree more.
- Uh-huh, absolutely.
- I don't want
to tell you what to do,
but now would probably be
a good time to get out of here.
- Yep, mm-hmm.
- Bye.
- How noble,
helping your little friends.
Unfortunately for you,
the punishment
for threatening the king
is death.
Death?
We could chop off your head,
burn you at the stake,
make you do math problems.
Pick your poison, boy.
Don't call me a boy.
- And why not?
- Because I'm a girl.
- [all gasp, whisper excitedly]
- [gasps]
A girl?
[laughs] Whatevs.
Boy or girl,
you're still a vagabond.
- Take her to the dungeon!
- [whimpers] Mm.
- Wait! The girl's no vagabond,
Your Highness.
- She is with me.
- And you are?
- Merely an entertainer,
you're Eminently Eminentness.
An entertainer?
What a coinci-dinky-dink!
You see, I'm currently
between jesters.
My last one had "an accident."
- Wink a-wink.
- An accident?
- It was the jester's fault,
of course.
He failed to amuse me.
[gulps]
I-I would be happy
to be your new jester, sire,
if you would be so kind
as to let her go.
- Huh, being kind really was
more of my brother's thing,
but my horoscope did say
"avoid slaughter" today.
[chuckles]
Guards, release the girl
and bring my new jester
to the castle.
We'll see just how entertaining
he actually is.
Where is my carpet roller?
- Oh, he's dead. Sorry.
- Wait, no!
Let him go!
Max, run away!
- No, I'm not leaving you!
[grunts]
- Max, control yourself!
- But--
- You can't help your uncle
by getting yourself thrown
in the dungeon.
- Thank you, King Gastley.
You are most gracious.
Ha! You really are a fool
if you think
I'd let the others go free.
Round up all
the shoeless urchins
and that dagger-wielding
miscreant now!
I don't negotiate
with peasants.
[whimpers]
[cackles]
Run, Max!
- For once, I'm gonna have
to agree with Uncle Budrick.
- I see the city shaking ♪
I see the mess
they're making ♪
- No giving, all taking ♪
- Aah!
- Somebody has
to do something ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
Fight for what's right ♪
Wait, why are you running?
They're not after you.
I don't know.
I got swept up in the moment!
[pants]
- Somebody has
to do something ♪
Feel the temperature
rising ♪
Feel the boat capsizing ♪
Feel the coming uprising ♪
It's a battle
worth fighting ♪
Hey, over here!
Where'd they go?
- Maybe we should
check everywhere!
- [sighs] Thanks.
- Figured we owed you one.
Hi, I'm Millie.
This is Simon. Rat jerky?
We have picante
and sweet 'n' sewer.
- Um, yeah, maybe later?
- Mmm.
- Right now, we need a place
to hide.
- [gasps] My father's barn.
We'll be safe there.
- This way.
- [crunches] Mmm!
- Aah!
- [gasping]
[upbeat rock music]
- [gasps]
- Gotcha!
- Aah!
- A guard!
- Run!
[guards yelling]
- [screams]
- [grunts]
Go, go, go!
[groans]
- In case we don't make it,
I just wanted to say
how cool that was.
Standing up to King Gastley?
No one's ever done that before!
- [groans]
- Hmm?
♪
[sheep bleating]
Argh!
I mean, it was really dumb,
and you're definitely getting
beheaded, but still--
- Nobody's getting beheaded,
Simon.
Trust me.
- I'm afraid
there's nowhere to go!
[giggles]
Yes, there is.
Stop, you miscreants!
This way!
Huh!
- They're much faster
than they look!
[all panting]
[guards grunting stupidly]
Come on!
Whoa!
- Grab 'em!
Don't let them get away!
- Come on!
- Over there!
♪
[giggles]
We got 'em now!
- [gasps nervously]
- [growls]
Oh.
[grumbles]
Aah!
[bell rings]
- Oh ♪
Come on.
Aah!
♪
[all yelling]
♪
- That's my dad's barn
over there!
- Oh, you mean over there
past all those guards?
We need a distraction.
Oh, I know!
What if I just ran around
making new
and interesting sounds?
- Yeah, I like where
your head's at, Millie,
but then you'd be captured.
Oh, right, yeah.
[bells tinkling]
- [horse whinnies]
- Easy, fella.
Anyone got a rock?
Hmm.
- [horse whinnies]
- Huh?
[rats squeaking]
Go! Go! Go!
- I see the city shaking ♪
I see the mess
they're making ♪
No giving, all taking ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
- Whoa!
- Aah!
[all yelling]
♪
- Feel the temperature
rising ♪
Feel the coming uprising ♪
It's a battle
worth fighting ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
- Told ya [pants]
We'd make it.
- Yeah, I'm definitely
gonna have
to remember that rock trick.
- You want some?
- Still no, Millie.
Besides,
there's no time to eat.
I need to save Uncle Budrick.
[dramatic rock music]
- Oh ♪
[vocalizing]
♪
- But how ever are you going
to do that?
- I don't know yet,
but I'm gonna find a way.
I have to.
- I see the city shaking ♪
I see the mess
they're making ♪
No giving, all taking ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
Fight for what's right ♪
Bring back the peace ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
Feel the temperature
rising ♪
Feel the boat capsizing ♪
Feel the coming uprising ♪
It's a battle
worth fighting ♪
Somebody has
to do something ♪
- Looking everywhere
for someone to save the day.