Max and the Midknights (2024) s01e07 Episode Script

1
- Careful, Midknights.
Watch your step.
- Eyes on your surroundings.
- Aww.
Hey, buddy.
- Simon!
No talking to squirrels!
- OK.
- [blows raspberry]
- Are you all right, Max?
- Of course.
I'm totally fine.
Just stay vigilant, people.
OK, I'm not totally fine.
Honestly, I don't exactly feel
unstoppable at the moment.
I mean, sure,
there's a prophecy about me,
but after we nearly got boiled
alive by trolls the other day,
I'm thinking it's a good idea
to play it safe.
Come on, everyone!
Stay alert!
We won't get hurt!
- Ouch!
- Hey, look.
The path splits in two.
- Ah, the proverbial fork
in the road.
Happy Garden Trail.
Well, I dare say
that sounds pleasant or--
Trail of the Dead.
[crow cawing]
- [sneezes]
- [screams]
- Sorry.
Hay fever.
- [sneezes]
- Sleeve?
Note to self, invent tissues.
- Which way does
the old daggerino say to go?
- Um--
- Oh, I hope it's not that way.
The Trail of the Dead
gives me goosebumps!
Get it?
Goosebumps.
- Ugh.
- Ugh!
Huh?
[dagger humming]
[crow cawing]
[all gasp]
- I don't like this dagger's
sense of direction.
Hmm.
According to this map,
both paths
lead to the same destination.
So in actuality,
we could take
the Happy Garden Trail
and still arrive
where the dagger
is instructing us to go.
But I defer to you, Max,
our brave leader.
- [laughs nervously]
Brave leader.
That's me.
I know what you're thinking.
"Max,
listen to the magic dagger."
But come on,
if both these roads
lead to the same spot,
why go down the trail
with the word "dead" in it.
I'm trying to play it
safe here, remember?
Sorry, dagger.
Happy Garden Trail it is.
- Thank goodness.
- [sneezes]
Sorry, daggerino.
- I'm not sure you all
got my joke from before.
That road gave me goosebumps!
- Because I'm a goose.
- We get it!
[upbeat music]
- Lotta people tellin' me
what I should be ♪
But I wanna make
my own destiny ♪
- [growls]
- Got a feelin' ♪
That it might be time
for me ♪
- To find my own way ♪
- [grunts]
- 'Cause I can feel it
in my heart ♪
It takes a lot to be brave,
but just a little to start ♪
Let's go take
a million chances ♪
Let's go change
our circumstances ♪
I'm gonna write
my own story ♪
And the hero is me ♪
Excellent news, sire.
We have found
Max and the Midknights.
Oh, finally!
Oh, bring them in,
bring them in!
I want to see
their idiotic little faces
before we chop off their heads.
[laughs]
Wait, who in
the blooming onion are they?
- We're Gayle
and the Goodknights,
Byjovia's hottest
new garage band.
- I'm sorry.
What is a garage?
Hit it, guys.
You just got here ♪
So please don't say
I've got to leave ♪
I just can't stay ♪
And if you go, I don't think
I'll get over you ♪
So change your tune,
don't say ♪
Good bye-Jovia ♪
Lute drop.
[lute clatters]
- Ugh.
Away!
Take them away!
And outlaw
all lute music immediately.
You've allowed
Max and the Midknights
to slip through your fingers.
They've likely escaped
the city limits by now.
Shall I send a search party?
- Of course,
send a search party,
you nattering nitwit!
Bring me my two best men.
[dramatic music]
[horses galloping]
[grunts]
[horses galloping]
Uh
- Bah!
- Sir Barley.
And Sir Bean.
- Reporting for highness,
Your Duty.
- Ugh.
Ugh! Ah!
These are my two best men?
By a long shot.
Fear not, my lord.
We'll capture
Mark and the Moonlights.
- It's Max and the Midknights,
you moron!
- Oh.
- My apologies, Your Highness.
Rest assured, nothing escapes
our eagle eyes.
[squawks]
Let's show him, Bean.
Eh, we see far.
- We see wide.
- [grunts]
[together]
We see all!
[soft dramatic music]
- [gasps]
This place is amazing!
Hey, Kev,
write this in your book.
- And on day ten,
Max and the Midknights
were rewarded
for playing it safe.
- You took the words
right out of my quill.
- Does anyone else
hear that singing?
[singing vibrant melody]
- Yeah,
and call me a silly goose,
but uh, I think
it's the flowers singing.
- [laughs]
Why, that's preposterous.
Flowers aren't equipped
with vocal cords.
- These ones sure are.
Look.
[flowers singing
vibrant melody]
♪
Sweet mother of flora.
[quirky music]
♪
Look, Barley, footprints.
- Huh?
Whoa, horsey.
Ah! Oh.
Affirmative.
It's the fugitives' footprints.
Perhaps they stopped
at this tavern.
And they appear
to be traveling with a goose.
- Or a tiny web-footed child.
You know,
I've seen one of those before.
- Oh!
- No, you haven't.
- Oh, really?
Do you have my eyes?
Do you know everything
I've seen?
Hmm?
Huh?
- Our rides
are leaving without us!
Ah! Oi!
Come back!
[horse neighing]
Everything's amazing!
So pretty.
Oh, man, it smells so good.
[flowers singing together]
We are so delighted ♪
You came upon
our garden fair ♪
Prance under our petals ♪
- I can't smell anything.
[sneezes]
- We are hungry
for an audience ♪
- Hmm?
Pipe down, buddy.
Anyone feel like dancing?
- Dancing?
- Whoo-hoo!
La la la la la ♪
La la la la la ♪
[laughter]
What is happening right now?
[all laughing and humming]
Uh, guys?
Quite right, Edmund.
You are so smart.
It should be more gruesome.
Ugh!
What are you doing?
- We're discussing how to
torture Max and the Midknights
when they're finally captured.
- I say we catapult them
off the highest tower!
- And I say we make them sing
the wheels on the oxcart
go round and round
until they go insane.
Oh, you two are diabolical!
I love it! I love it!
I love it! I love it!
I love it!
[laughs]
- Your focus should not be
on these wretched children,
but on finding Mumblin.
If we don't find him,
he could threaten your reign.
[whispering indistinctly]
My advisors say
you make a good point.
Proceed.
- Luckily,
the bumbling old coot
left something behind.
These numbers are out of order.
And if we determine
the meaning of this word,
B-I-N-G-O,
it could reveal
Mumblin's true whereabouts!
[all snoring]
[sneezes]
Well, that song
sure was nice and all,
but shouldn't we get going?
Hey, Millie,
you dropped your wand.
Magic schmagic.
[chuckles]
I'm relaxing.
Relaxing?
Budrick, want to flap
those wings and fly the coop?
You know, 'cause you're a bird.
Get it?
- [sighs]
Got it.
Not getting up.
[soft dramatic music]
- Max,
shouldn't we keep moving?
Why move when we can sit.
Yeah, yeah.
I know.
You glow.
Big whoop.
- Uh, crazy thought,
but maybe the dagger
wants us to stop lying around
and get back to the mission--
[sneezes]
- Forget the mission.
- Forget the mission?
OK, what is going on?
You're all acting super weird.
Kevyn doesn't care
about writing,
Millie doesn't
care about magic,
your uncle Budrick
doesn't care about goose jokes,
and you don't care
about the mission!
What mission?
- The mission we've all been on
for the last ten days.
Follow the dagger,
find King Conrad, save Byjovia!
- Remember?
- Relax, man.
You are so harshing my vibe.
You know what?
I'm getting a bad feeling
about this place.
Something's not right--
huh?
Suspicions confirmed.
Flowers have tied me
to the ground.
- [grunts]
- I can't move.
Me either.
Me too.
- It's not a big deal.
Look.
OK, this might be a problem.
My dagger!
Simon, I think you might be
onto something here.
I am so tired of being right!
- Listen, the flowers
are singing again.
[flowers singing
ominous melody]
[flowers singing together]
We are so delighted ♪
You came upon
our garden field ♪
Prance under our petals ♪
Breathe deep
the fragrant air ♪
We're hungry
for an audience ♪
Starving for applause ♪
Let us sing you
off to sleep ♪
Relax inside his jaws ♪
Ha ha ha ha ha ♪
[screams]
Ha ha ha ha ♪
- Did they just say
"inside his jaws?"
Um, who is he?
[suspenseful music]
[roaring]
[all screaming]
This seems fine.
- What an extraordinary way
of hunting,
luring your prey
into submission
via delightful song
and intoxicating aromas?
- Quite ingenious.
- Wait a minute!
Simon, how come
you weren't affected, huh?
Were you working
with the flowers?
- I wasn't working
with the flowers, Millie.
It was my hay fever.
[sneezes]
I couldn't smell a thing.
- Ooh, yep.
It's snot city up there.
- Perhaps this is why
the dagger told us
- to take the other path.
- Uh. No!
The dagger is gone.
Where is it?
It's got to be
around here somewhere.
[tense music]
♪
Ah!
Uh, anything?
- No dagger,
but would you settle
for a second-hand garden gnome?
Get that thing out of here.
That dagger
was the one thing
that could lead us
to King Conrad.
And if we don't have it,
we can't find him,
and it's goodbye prophecy.
I was trying to keep us
out of danger,
and instead, I led us
into an even bigger mess.
[sighs]
Well, if I can't save Byjovia,
at least I can try
to get us all out of here.
Ooh, I've got an idea!
- Let me guess.
What goes in must come out?
- No.
OK, yes.
You know me so well, Simon.
- Uh, how about we explore
some other options?
Maybe we can get out
the way we came in.
- It seems they've headed down
the Happy Garden Trail.
Oh, phew!
I didn't want to go down
the Trail of the Dead.
Onward, horsey.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Hey, you get back here.
Forget it.
We'll just continue on foot.
But those horses are long gone.
- Something spooked them,
Barley.
Maybe this Happy Garden Trail
isn't as peaceful as it looks.
[flowers singing
vibrant melody]
Oh, I don't know.
I hear a lovely singing
coming from down there.
- Let's go!
- [giggles]
Small question.
How do we open its mouth?
- You're the animal guy.
Try talking to it.
Fine!
Hey, Mr. Garden Beast,
will you please let us out?
[roaring]
Guessing that's a no.
- Guys, you're forgetting
that there's a magical person
here, a.k.a. moi.
Simon, wand me.
Ha!
[spirited orchestral music]
♪
- All you did
was whiten its teeth!
- Yeah, that was a mistake,
although he did have
some serious coffee stains.
You're welcome, Garden Beast.
[roaring]
Step aside, kids.
I'll handle this.
Coochie-coochie-coochie-coo.
Who's a little
ticklish monster-wonster?
Who is?
Who is?
I guess not this guy.
[sighs]
[laughing]
- Barley, we truly are
the best seekers in the land,
- aren't we?
- Undoubtedly, Bean.
- We see far.
- We see wide.
[together]
We see all!
[growls]
[both screaming]
Come on, guys.
This is our chance!
[gasps]
[both screaming]
Ugh!
[both gasp]
- Spirits and mystic,
poet and bard,
reveal the secrets
of Mumblin's card.
- B-18.
I-23.
What did you say?
Ugh!
[ominous music]
Yes!
There he is.
Mumblin.
- He's assembling
an army of sorcerers.
Oh.
- Oh!
- [groans]
- Hey!
- Look, Barley.
It's Max and the Midknights.
And the goose!
I told you it was a goose.
- For your information,
I happen to be a troubadour.
Blimey!
He talks!
- Well, whatever occupation
this goose may hold,
you are all under arrest!
- You can't arrest us
after we've
just been swallowed
by a monster.
It's true.
You have no jurisdiction
inside the belly of this beast.
- Hmm.
They make a good point, Barley.
Keep quiet, Bean.
We already drew our swords.
- How about we call
a temporary truce
and work together
to get out of here?
- Hmm.
- Oh.
Should we really cooperate
with the fugitives?
What would King Gastley say?
- Well, he'd never have
to know, would he?
Besides,
we are trapped in here.
Maybe we can figure out
how to get out on our own.
- I say, have you
tried tickling the beast?
Yup, didn't work.
- The tiny
web-footed child
says tickling is a non-starter.
Then we have no choice, Bean.
Very well.
We've decided
to accept the temporary truce.
- Yeah, we heard everything
you just said.
Oh, great.
- Not the sharpest tools
in the shed, are they?
OK, that's settled.
Let's find a way
out of this thing's mouth.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Ah, ah!
[all screaming]
- Just when you think
things can't get any worse.
Incredible.
We now appear to be in the
second stomach of the beast.
I would surmise,
as with dolphins and cows,
this chamber is for digesting.
[together]
Digesting?
See?
These teeth
must be for grinding down
tough food and bones.
Cool!
- Ah!
- Oh!
Oh, no.
[dramatic music]
- Maybe we can get out
of this second stomach
and back to the first stomach.
- Come on!
Start climbing!
♪
My dagger!
♪
- Everyone, wait!
- Wait?
- We've got
to follow the dagger.
I ignored it earlier.
I took the wrong path
because I was scared,
and that was a mistake.
Guys, we can't fight it.
The only way through this thing
is through this thing.
- Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
- Do you know what
they're talking about?
- Not a clue.
- No.
But would you mind asking?
- Uh, no problem.
- Yeah, thank you.
- Cheers.
- Oh, sorry.
[laughs]
What are you proposing?
- We will follow
the path of digestion
to its natural conclusion.
- Making room for lunch?
- Building a log cabin?
Going number two?
- Well, um,
how can you go a number?
- We're going to have
to get pooped out.
- Oh!
- Oh!
Yeah, of course.
Yeah, I know that.
Oh, no.
This is gonna be awesome!
I believe we're about
to make scientific history.
- Well, I'd rather make history
some other way.
Max, are you sure about this?
- Not at all.
Now come on!
[grunts]
- Whoa!
- Whoo-hoo!
[screams]
[upbeat music]
♪
[stomach gurgles]
[farts]
- It worked!
[laughs]
So disgusting and amazing!
- Oh, I'm so glad
I can't smell right now.
- Let's do that again!
- Yeah-hoo!
- I gotcha, buddy.
[sighs]
I swear
I'll listen to you from now on.
- Wait,
where are the other two?
Ugh.
We can't leave
those two dimwits behind.
Hey, we heard that.
And yes, please don't.
All right, everyone.
Pull!
[all grunting]
[farts]
[laughter]
- We're alive!
- We're free!
[both sniffing]
[together]
You're disgusting!
Oh.
Thank you for saving us.
No need to thank us.
We're not out of the woods yet.
[roaring]
- I think it's coming back
for seconds.
The dagger says, run!
[energetic music]
[roars]
♪
[roaring]
♪
Come on!
I think if we get to the sign,
we'll be out of its reach.
Hurry, Uncle Budrick.
You try waddling fast.
It's harder than it looks.
Max!
[honking]
♪
[dramatic music]
♪
[all screaming]
[all cheering]
- They keep shouting out
these stupid numbers.
I still have no idea
where Mumblin is!
Ah!
- She's lost it.
Hmm.
Did it ever occur to you
that something important
- was written on the back?
- The back?
Well, I would have seen that,
but, uh,
- your socks were distracting me.
- Uh-huh, right.
- Do I sense sarcasm?
- Sarcasm? Me?
[laughs nervously]
No.
- Good.
Because I don't like sarcasm!
Noted.
Copyright,
Shady Acres Home
for Aged Sorcerers,
Rackleff, Maine, 1979.
[gasps]
Mumblin's hiding in the future.
- The future?
- Bingo.
- Bingo!
[snoring]
[gasping]
Doris.
- [bleats]
- I just had a very bad dream.
- And we're back
where we started.
Yep.
And I get a second chance
to get it right.
Well, fellas, I do believe
this is where we part ways.
Yeah, about that,
while we appreciate you
not leaving us in the, um, uh--
Caboose?
Posterior?
Not front?
The rear.
Let's call it the rear
of that creature.
I'm afraid our temporary truce
must cease.
- You are hereby under arrest!
- Uh, think again.
- Hey, untie us.
Come on!
Hey!
- Bye, guys.
Nice meeting you!
- Bye-bye.
Nice meeting you, too.
- I mean, no, wait, wait.
No, come back.
- Trail of the Dead,
here we come.
[sighs]
Ah.
[tender music]
It's OK to be nervous, Max.
Like you said,
the only way through this thing
is through this thing.
[uplifting music]
OK.
Guys ready?
The dagger
still says to go this way.
- Yep.
- Ready.
You got it.
- Well,
what are we waiting for?
- And so, as Max
and the Midknights embarked
on the next leg
of their journey,
they were emboldened
by a newfound sense of hope.
For, after one had survived
being devoured and
[clears throat]
Evacuated
by a giant plant monster,
it is difficult to imagine that
things could get any worse.
Maybe you're right, Kev.
Maybe we have seen
the worst of it.
[dramatic music]
♪
- We are so delighted you
came upon our garden field ♪
Prance under our petals ♪
Breathe deep
the fragrant air ♪
We're hungry
for an audience ♪
Starving for applause ♪
Let us sing
you off to sleep ♪
Relax inside his jaws ♪
Ha ha ha ha ha ♪
Ha ha ha ha ♪
Ha ha
ha ha ♪