Melrose Place s02e30 Episode Script

2393062 - Devil With the G-String On

God, I hate this.
No one will tell me anything.
I'm sure they will as soon as they know something definite.
It's so weird, Jake.
Just when I'd come to accept this baby and start to plan, I mean, this happens.
You got to think positively.
I can't help it.
I'm scared.
Looks good, Jo.
We've all studied the ultrasound and monitor readouts, and everything appears fine.
Your baby's in great shape.
No trauma whatsoever.
Oh, thank God.
We need to keep you another day for observation.
It's purely cautionary and nothing to worry about.
That's a tough little kid you got in there.
Thank you, Doctor.
All right.
I'll stop back later.
Oh.
Ow.
Mmm.
Hey, how is she? Uh, we're not really sure yet.
Hi.
You look dreadful.
The baby's okay.
They're both going to be fine.
Can I see her now? I don't see why not.
Matt, why don't you show her the way.
Yeah.
Uh we'll come back tonight.
Come on, Billy.
Amanda, I'll see you at work.
I assume since you came with Jo in the ambulance that you'd need a ride down to the dock.
Don't you have a charter today? I canceled it.
I figured I'd stay here today.
If you really think that's necessary.
She doesn't have anyone.
A really lousy excuse, Jake, and you know it.
Radiology, ER two, STAT.
Radiology, ER two, STAT.
So, what's up with you and Amanda? You must have radar or something.
Let's just say I've observed enough animosity between the two of you to recognize the signs.
If I tell you, you have to swear not to tell a soul.
I hate it when you say that.
Swear? Okay, I swear.
I worked late last night, right? I'm heading in to see Amanda to confront her about Chas and how little he's doing, when I see them, Chas and Amanda in the conference room, and they are kissing, I mean, passionately.
You kidding? Her mother's fiancé? I don't know what's going on.
If this is Amanda's way of getting back at her mother, or if she really has the hots for Chas.
I just keep obsessing about Jake.
He's the one getting screwed over here, and he has no idea.
Yeah, and he's not gonna have any idea.
You can't tell anybody about this.
Amanda will kill you or Jake.
Remember what happened when he found out about Amanda and me? You don't understand, Chas saw me.
He knows I was watching.
So play dumb.
Tell him tell him you wear contacts, and you didn't have them in.
I just keep thinking, poor Jake, he doesn't deserve this.
Well, you made me swear, now I'm making you swear.
Not a word about this to anybody, especially Jake.
Swear.
Okay, I swear.
Good.
End of discussion.
Unless someone brings it up first.
Alison! Hey, darlin'.
I heard the good news about Jo.
Oh, yeah, and why is good news always followed by bad news? For weeks, I bitch and moan for a profit-loss statement from Jane's company.
When she finally messengers it over, it shows nothing but red ink, loss after loss, when I know she's doing better than that.
You never were very good at numbers.
Let me have a look.
That's right.
Daddy was an accountant.
An inherited talent.
I've got a nose for discrepancies.
You actually think she'd cheat on these figures? With anyone else, no.
With you, most assuredly, yes.
I'll tell you what.
Why don't you go back to your rounds and leave the ex-Mrs.
Mancini to me.
I'll see you at home then.
Okay.
Good morning, Mandy.
You have no business being in here, and I have no intention of discussing what happened last night.
Don't you think we should, though? It's all I've been thinking about.
Well, keep your thoughts to yourself, because what happened happened, and there's no need for further rehashing.
Fine, no problem.
Anyway, I'm more concerned with what's going to happen.
Nothing's going to happen.
You're engaged, and I'm involved in a relationship.
You know, Amanda, there's nothing wrong with losing a little control.
It can make life a whole lot more exciting.
A whole lot more dangerous, too.
From now on, Chas, our relationship will be confined to business only.
Is that understood? Sure, you're the boss and I'm not.
I start all the new girls out at lunch before it gets too crowded.
Now, you gotta dance to two songs in a row.
The first song, you lose the top.
The second song, the bottom.
Any questions? Just one.
How do I look? I'll let you know after the second song.
Okay, kid, you're up.
And now presenting The Body Stocking's latest addition the very pert and lovely What do you want to be called? Your stage name? Jane.
Just Jane? Gentlemen I give you the very wild and weird Jungle Jane! And then when you're done, cut off all these little strings with some scissors.
I know I should've I should've called first.
Is there someplace private we could talk? Jane, you've done very well for yourself.
Look at this place.
I can see career-girl life really suits you.
Aren't those the statements that I sent to Michael? Oh, he asked me to look at them.
He was concerned by the amount of red ink.
So I did some calling to the stores you're doing business with, and they say they've ordered, in some cases, as much as four times the amount indicated in your statement.
Now I could yell embezzlement, unless you'd like to cop to an accounting error.
Admit it, Jane, you've been up to a little creative accounting, haven't you? No.
But it sounds like you've been taking Sydney lessons, or is that what happen to anyone who gets close to Michael? You owe my fiancé money.
If there's an error, I will look into it.
This is not an error! This is a deliberate act of deception.
Take care of it, Jane.
Don't, and it'll be, "See you in court.
" We appreciate your time and look forward to your decision.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Excellent work, you two.
Alison, the artwork was perfect.
And, Chas, you charmed the hell out of them.
So if you guys don't mind finishing up here, I'll make my report to Bruce.
What's the deal here? You gonna pretend you didn't see anything last night? Exactly what I'm gonna do.
Whatever game you and Amanda are playing, it sounds way too weird for me.
And you think I'm proud of what went on? I wouldn't know.
I didn't plan it.
In fact, it's the strangest thing that's ever happened to me.
This woman Amanda, she's got a screw loose or something.
This is none of my business.
One second we're talking, and the next thing I know, she's all over me, and then we're down on the floor doing it right where you're standing.
I don't know if it's some campaign to get back at her mother or what, but, I don't know, she practically raped me.
I tried to tell her it wouldn't be right, because of Hillary and that Jake guy, but she said, "Whatever they don't know won't hurt them.
" And now she's trying to pretend like nothing even happened.
Chas, it's unfortunate what I saw, but I don't care about the rest.
I'm just trying to do my job.
Hey, try being me.
Every time I'm alone with her, I feel like she's going to pounce.
Good night, Chas.
Alison, are you all right? Fine.
Really, I'm great.
I wish you guys would stop making such a fuss.
You heard the doctors.
My baby and I are fine.
Come on, last couple of steps.
I'm serious.
You both have lives to get back to.
Sarah, I've seen your schedule.
I called Hillary 's office and told them I needed a few days off.
Superstardom can wait.
Jake, what are you doing? I'm getting things more comfortable.
Well, that's very nice of you, but I think I'm just going to go lie down for a while.
I can do it by myself.
Not that I'm not appreciative, 'cause I am.
You both have been great.
You know, the police still aren't having any luck finding Hank.
Do you have any idea where he might've gone after he checked out of that hotel? I don't know, back to Iowa maybe? Without you? I doubt it.
Come on, think, Sarah.
Where else? There was this place he used to go, um, to play pool The Eight-Ball Sports Bar.
I think it's on Sunset.
I know where it is.
Wait, I want to come, too.
I got you guys into this, I mean, I can handle him.
I'm sure you can, but right now I need you to stay here and keep an eye on Jo.
Lock this behind me.
You're a hard man to track down.
Something's come up with my mother.
It's her birthday, and Chas suggested we try for another reconciliation.
I know how passionate you've been in that area, so I thought you might like to come along.
It's tonight at 7:00 at the Bel-Air Racquet Club if you don't have any other plans.
Why don't I meet you there? I have some things to take care of.
So long as one of those things isn't Jo.
You could be a little more understanding.
I could be a lot more understanding, but where would that get me? See you tonight.
A-ha.
From sleuth to snoop.
Is this becoming a problem? What do you want me to do, ignore what I know? That Amanda is stringing Jake along while she has an affair with Chas? You've only got Chas' word on that.
Why would he lie, why would he risk everything? Who knows? People are complicated.
As long as I've known you, I still can't figure you out.
And I'm sure, despite what you might think, there's still some mystery surrounding me.
You mean like what you've got planned for this bachelor party? I have no idea.
Michael's taking care of the details.
You can trust me, Alison.
You, I trust, him, I don't.
You love the fact that he's planning this, don't you? Michael's just sleazy enough to guarantee a great time.
You're paranoid.
Aml? We'll have a few beers, we'll knock back some shots, and we'll get drunk and stupid.
Make a fool of yourself? Probably.
Why not? It's tradition.
You wanted a traditional wedding.
Will the opposite sex be involved? Again, you're going to have to ask Michael about that.
He's probably lining up the student nurses as we speak.
What are you doing? Seducing you.
What's it look like? Well, gosh, if you insist.
Billy-boy, I am going to put such a smile on your face, keep you so content and fulfilled that whatever the guys throw at you at this bachelor party, it is going to mean nothing, nothing in comparison to me.
Hey, Hank.
Hey, how you doing? Hank, right? Do I know you? You do now.
I'm a good friend of the woman you pushed down the stairs the other night.
I just want you to know that the woman and the baby she's carrying are both fine.
You a cop? No, no, I'm not, but they're looking for you.
Good idea checking out of your motel quick like that.
Now, I'm here to suggest you check out of L.
A.
Yeah, well, I'll have to think about that.
Is that the best you can do? Why don't you put down that pool cue, and we'll settle this like gentlemen.
Get him! Come on, Hank! Get him! Get him! LAPD's on its way.
I just wanted to make sure I got to you first.
Ow! A little tender, huh? Any allergies to any medications? Oh, penicillin, all types.
What do we got? A ruptured appendix, it looks like.
All right, this one's mine.
Nurse, schedule an O.
R.
, I'll scrub.
You care to assist, Doctor? Definitely, I'll get the patient ready.
Nurse, take the patient back to four and prep for emergency surgery.
I'll file that.
I don't understand you.
After what happened in the conference room last night, I'd think you'd want to keep my mother as far away from me as possible.
You're the one who said pretend nothing happened, and I figured with Jake here when he gets here I will not be made to feel guilty about what happened between us.
There she is.
Who's that with her? She looks familiar.
Probably because she's on the cover of "Cosmopolitan" this month.
That's Teri Stevens, Hillary's number-one model.
I didn't know she was bringing her.
Substitute daughter.
They all are.
I'm not kidding.
They had me sitting on a block of ice with a hundredth of an inch of spandex between me and frostbite.
God, Hillary, when will I have outgrown bikini shoots? When they stop paying you $5,000 a day.
Teri, how are you? Chas.
Hi.
Amanda.
Well, what a delightful surprise.
Well, I thought I'm not sure what I thought after our little fight the other night.
Chas felt I should come.
I didn't know it would be a surprise.
Anyway, Happy Birthday, mother.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Darling, I'd like you to meet Teri Stevens.
Teri, my daughter Amanda.
How do you do? You're even more beautiful in person.
I'm sure everybody tells you that.
Sit, sit.
We'll get you a drink, and then I can get a full report on how Chas is doing at work.
According to him, he's already in line for vice president.
Oh, yes, he's very good at what he does sometimes too good for his own good.
Whose damn rule is it anyway? Well Excuse me.
A tie, you've gotta be kidding me, this is Los Angeles.
I'm sorry, I should've said something.
It's a house rule, ma'am.
Thank you.
He'll wear it.
Come on.
Ugh, don't tell me, more defending of Jo? It must be wonderful having your own private Lancelot.
It was as much for Sarah as it was for Jo.
You know, Jake, I am the least possessive person you'll ever know, but this is ridiculous.
If I carried on this way, you'd be furious.
I can have my own friends, you know.
Fine, have them, just don't let them fall in love with you.
Now, can we go to the party? Enjoy your dinner, Amanda.
I stay out of clubs that would never have me as a member.
It's weird.
It's like it's not really me.
Sometimes I wonder, can I really do this? Stop.
You know you can.
I want it so badly, to succeed, to make it work, to be like Teri Stevens and the other top models.
It's just the dream, it's so scary.
What if it doesn't come true? You know, Sarah, I may not know what I'm talking about, but there's something very wonderful about you, especially on film.
Stay put.
I'll get it.
Hello? Hi, Sarah? Hank.
Oh, my God, where are you? It doesn't matter.
I'm leaving town.
I just wanted to say goodbye.
Do you you want to be this big model.
Good.
You go and you try.
I got a feeling you're gonna be back in Tama county in no time, just begging for forgiveness.
You still there? Yeah.
I'll tell everybody how well you're doing.
He's going home.
Yeah, well, good riddance.
He's a terrible guy, isn't he? He wasn't back home.
Everyone thought I was so lucky.
He was the coolest guy in high school.
Well, watch out for cool guys in high school.
You know, he he was my first boyfriend.
I thought maybe I know, I know.
Ampicillin Sodium, I'll check the chart.
Forget the chart, I've seen the chart.
Look, I don't like that fever.
Now, do it now, nurse.
Code blue! Code blue 3-3-1, code blue.
Code blue, I'm coming through.
I'm ready, Doctor.
Give him diphenhydramine IV push and epi 0.
4, sub-Q.
STAT.
Right away, Doctor.
Oh, my God, ampicillin.
Who the hell ordered ampicillin? This patient is allergic to all forms of penicillin.
I wouldn't know.
Dr.
Mancini did.
I wanted to check the chart, but he said no.
I want a complete blood workup once this patient is stabilized.
A written report, nurse, And not a word of this to Dr.
Mancini, is that understood? This is my patient now.
Yes, Doctor.
I'll tell you one thing, Doctor, if Mancini screwed up here, he's in serious trouble.
Wouldn't that be a shame? I'm not arguing, Jane.
You do have some rights to withhold payment from Michael, but to justifying it would take time.
In the long run, it's just easier to cut him a check.
Do you have any idea how humiliating this is? I'm a tax attorney, Jane.
I go by what's in the rule books, not what's fair.
If you want to keep Michael out of your life, keep his coffers full.
That's my advice.
Thank you.
Where is he? Who? Oh, hmm.
Michael.
I have no idea.
Excuse me.
You should know, Doctor, that I've nearly completed my investigation, and it's looking very bad for your boyfriend.
I can only imagine.
I've always had my problems with that young man, but I'm surprised that even he would be this sloppy.
Well, we all have our bad days.
Mm-hmm.
I was thinking it's possible, you know, to remove a caution tag, then replace it later.
Yeah, well, why would someone want to do that? That's a question I'm not going to ask.
As a matter of fact, I think I'll just send my findings along to the board.
As you're bound in honor to do.
You're a very complicated woman, Dr.
Shaw.
Why, thank you, Dr.
Levin.
Dr.
Fisher, 5-7-1-4.
Dr.
Fisher, 5-7-1-4.
Hi.
Hi.
They said at reception that I could find you here.
Presentation first thing in the morning.
I'm getting a head start.
Meticulous preparation.
I'm famous for it myself.
Actually, I, uh, came by to see Chas, but I understand he left early.
He went to a bachelor party with Jake.
I guess Jake's impatience with me doesn't extend to Chas.
You know, I don't think I told you, but, um, thank you for joining us the other night.
Teri just loved you.
She's been with me forever, you know.
She and her sister Carrie, well, I practically raised them.
You're really into hands-on management, aren't you, Mother? Oh, I guess it's more of that, uh, meticulous preparation.
So tell me something, how did Chas slip through the cracks? I'm afraid in don't understand.
I'm asking how well do you really know him? Very well, or as well as I need to.
Like you, I have devoted the better part of my life to my career.
The rewards have been huge, but they haven't always been satisfying.
So Chas comes along, and it's what, a chance to feel young again? Mandy, we love each other.
He's 10 years younger, Mother.
but no one other than you is counting.
I just think if you end up hurt by him, it won't have been worth it.
That won't happen, Amanda.
I hope not.
What are you doing here? I was looking for Michael, but I guess you'll do.
His profit check.
$5,000.
My attorney suggested I deliver it in person to avoid complications later.
Well, good for you, Jane.
You've got more common sense than I've given you credit for.
Oh, let's not talk about common sense.
If you're referring to Michael You know what, to hell with Michael, okay? That check is to keep things copacetic and to keep the two of you out of my hair.
Profit participation in my company doesn't include socialization or fraternization.
Fraternization? With you? I'm not Sydney.
I don't give a damn about you.
You know, if I was feeling better, I'd say we crash that bachelor party.
Oh, are you kidding, Billy has this thing so shrouded in mystery, even the FBI couldn't determine its whereabouts.
Besides, Jake is my inside man.
And he promised if things get out of hand, he'll whisk Billy home.
Is Jake the perfect guy, or what? You guys are the perfect couple, too.
I know you said you weren't compatible, but I don't see it, I really don't.
Alison, yours is coming right up.
She's right, you know.
Look, I'm not going to deny my feelings.
I mean, I still can't look at Jake without wondering what could have been maybe what should have been.
We can speculate all we want, we know how faithful Jake is.
Yeah, but can we say the same thing about Amanda? I mean, I once lost Billy to Amanda, and now we're engaged.
In my mind, Jake and Amanda are not a done deal.
I mean, heck, just a shove one little shove.
In my condition, please.
I'm not about to do any shoving.
Look, any opportunity in had with Jake is gone, and I just have to accept that.
Drink up, gentlemen! Okay, has everybody got a beer? A toast, toast, toast, toast To Billy Campbell who's about to go where only I have gone before twice now, and soon to be three times.
I give you Billy, a condemned man.
Speech, speech, speech.
Mmm.
All I can say is that you guys are a bunch of degenerates.
And now, gentlemen, the wild and wacky Jungle Jane.
Think I'm gonna puke.
Well, well.
Jungle Jane.
Wait up, come on, wait up! Hey, wait! I've had it with you.
You're fired.
Wise choice.
Come on.
Stay away from me.
Come on, Syd, be a sport.
So what, it's not enough for you to see me this way, humiliated, having to take a job like this? You have to come out here and throw salt in the wound.
Heck, no, Syd.
You were great, I mean it.
You were a real class act.
Here's your tip, sweetheart.
You earned every penny.
Yeah, come on.
Let's go.
Whoa, whoa, you got him? Yes, I got him.
Where do you want him? The pool, perhaps? Oh, God, I knew this would happen.
I'm gonna throw up.
No, you're not gonna.
He's all yours, guys, I got an early shift tomorrow.
Two beers.
I swear that's all I had.
Yeah, every five minutes, two more beers.
I suggest a whole lot of aspirin and take him straight to bed.
Oh, you promised.
It was Jake's fault.
Yeah, yeah, it was my fault.
I take full responsibility.
Look, have you seen Amanda? No.
I've been calling her all night, no answer, I guess she had to work late.
You are so amazingly trusting.
Why shouldn't I be? Don't worry, Chas was with us the whole night.
You want to explain that? What's he talking about? Uh, I can't Go ahead, you're dying to.
Billy, I swear to God What is this? Um I saw something at work between Chas and Amanda.
They were, um kissing, and then they closed the blinds.
It was after hours, and In her office.
No, in the conference room.
Today Chas indicated He said that it wasn't exactly innocent.
It got pretty heavy.
Look, I didn't want to get involved, but now that you know, I'm glad you know.
She's just not right for you.
Jake, wait.
Stay out of this.
Jake.
I want to know if what Alison is saying is true? No B.
S.
Are you sleeping around on me? Look, I don't know what she said.
Answer me.
Did you sleep with this Chas guy? No.
I'm not kidding, Amanda.
I said no, it's a lie.
Oh, my God, you believe her over me? You bastard.
Get out.
Get out! Dr.
Wong, cardiology.
Are you okay? Because you don't look okay.
In fact, Mancini, I'd have to say you look downright terrible.
Well, don't act like you don't know why.
Heard you had a meeting with the board.
What did they do, give you my job? No, they revoked my chief residency.
They're saying I, uh, endangered a patient's life.
Oh, man, that's tough.
You know, I was looking for you last night.
I wanted to give you a chance to explain.
Apparently, you had more important things to do.
Listen.
You have to do something here, Doctor.
Now I'm demanding that you go in there and you set those guys straight.
Otherwise, I've got the name of that hooker You know, your little sex kitten Ingrid.
As I understand it, the report was sent to the board by the legal staff.
You know how touchy they can get when it comes to potential malpractice cases.
So you tell them it was a mistake.
But you make it go away.
I can't, Mancini.
The board'll make up its own mind.
They won't listen to me.
You just love this, don't you? No, Doctor, I love justice.
I love it when somebody who's had it coming for a long, long time gets it right between the eyes.
You have a nice day, Michael.
Morning, Amanda.
You're fired.
Fired? You are a pathetic, sick excuse for a man.
And if my mother wants you so badly, she can have you and all the crap that comes with you.
You have five minutes to pack up and be gone or I call security.
All set for the presentation.
You deliberately destroyed my relationship with Jake without coming to me, without asking for an explanation.
You took Chas' word, shaped it into a very long knife and plunged it into my back.
Of all your neurotic, stupid, ill-timed antics, this is the worst.
I only said Shut up.
Just shut up and listen to me.
Chas is gone, he's fired.
And my first instinct was to fire you, as well, but on reflection, I realized that's way too easy.
No, Alison, I'm going to do you the way you did me, and when I'm done, all you'll be left with is that proverbial wish, that you'd never been born.
Now, I believe we have clients waiting.
You again? Yeah, it's me again.
It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do.
Even my morning sickness is gone.
Something on your mind, Jake? When I saw you lying in the hospital bed, I I realized something.
I mean, I had a feeling.
What are you talking about, Jake? Amanda and I, that's that's over.
I mean, that's really over.
But, you see, even if it was still going on, I'd feel this way about you.
Oh, my God.
Jo, come on.
Don't do this to me.
You're the only person I can really talk to.
With everyone else, I feel like I'm just putting on this show.
You can't just come in here and say these things.
I did.
I am.
Amanda isn't just going to go away.
This doesn't have anything to do with Amanda.
It has to do with you and me.
Damn, I hate having to do all this talking.
Then don't.
Hi, Lauren.
I hope you're not here to steal clients.
Actually, I'm here to ask for my old job back.
Really? Isn't that interesting? You once said I was the best girl you ever had.
Fred.
A martini for the best girl I ever had.
I've just been a little down on my luck.
So you figured you'd go back to doing what you do best.
Hey, it makes perfect sense.
A toast, then.
To the only thing you'll ever get from me, Sydney that drink.
I don't deal in tramps.
Get your hands off me.
Let go of me.
And don't forget, Syd, you still owe me $5,000.
That whore, I swear to God, somebody ought to kick her ass.
I don't deal in tramps.
What does that make you, Lauren, Cinder-frickin'-ella? Looking for a ride? Like a hole in the head.
Motel's just around the corner.
What do you say? I just want you to know, you're getting a hell of a good deal.
There you are.
Yep, here I am.
Drinking on duty.
Hmm.
Nothing's that bad.
You haven't heard, then.
The board sacked me as chief resident.
I'm back on regular rotation.
Actually, I did hear, and I'm sorry.
Why don't I take you home, cook you a nice big dinner, and then lick your wounds all night long? Unfortunately, not even good sex or good food could cure this melancholy.
Hmm.
How about cold cash, then? How would that make you feel? All warm and fuzzy inside.
Mm-hmm, $5,000 from Jane.
Officially, she's calling it an accounting error.
You're phenomenal.
What can I say? When there's something I want, nothing gets in my way.
Hey, wait a second, where are you going? Back to my shift.
Hey, sweetheart, what do you say we open a joint account with this money? That's a great idea.
I've been meaning to suggest that.
Sure, you have.
See you later, darlin'.
Miss Smith? That's right.
You can understand, I don't like doing these things over the phone.
So this guy you want to off, he's a doctor? I've got $5,000.
Lady, I don't know who gave you my number, but a professional hit costs $50,000.
All right, maybe I can scrape together ten.
Sorry, lady, for that kind of money, you're better off doing it yourself.
Then that's exactly what I'll do.

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