Mighty Med (2013) s01e07 Episode Script

It's Not the End of the World

Well, crusher, all your genetic mutations seem to be in proper disorder.
There is one thing since you're the strongest man in the universe, can you help me with this? These packages are impossible to open.
I could've done that.
Oh, hey, skylar.
I can't wait for my first day of school tomorrow.
I just hope it's better than school on my planet.
If you're late, the teacher makes you stand in the corner.
That doesn't sound so bad.
( Grunts ) "Corner" is our word for "oven.
" You'll do fine.
Oh and you know what? You should join the cheerleaders because you're all bendy, and flippy, and can invite us to their parties.
Could you excuse us? Dude, I don't want skylar to join the cheerleaders.
She'll start hanging out with jocks whose muscles are bigger than my face! How can I compete with that? I don't know.
Get a bigger face? Skylar, if I were you, I mean, "two, four, six, eight who do we appreciate?" Clearly not odd numbers.
Who's that? Ah, it's Horace's cousin, Boris Diaz.
Also known as timeline.
He's a superhero whose ability to see in the future helps other heroes fight evil.
Also, he's won every fantasy football league he's ever been in.
Oh.
I'm gonna go introduce myself.
You don't have to.
He's already seen this conversation happen in the future.
So he already knows all of our names.
Hello, Luigi, Paul, cinnamon.
Think there's something wrong with his powers.
No.
We haven't examined him yet.
Don't jump to conclusions, Kaz.
I see danger.
Step forward, Luigi! You are safe now.
See? ( Grunts ) Step forward, cinnamon! ( Yelling ) You are safe now.
Man: Okay, go.
Every day's an adventure you never know by the looks on our face at the school when we enter leave class early, work at 3:30 hit the comic store, read up before the journey all these new issues and superpowers if we didn't have to work, we'd be here for hours but have you ever seen superheroes on a gurney? will we save the world today? you never know will we all be safe today? you never know will we fly away or stay? you never know but you know we're mighty med, team up and let's go! saving people that save people after classes we flip the page then jump to action they call us normo, normally fantastic seeing superheroes that we only imagined this type of life, you got to have fight put up your fists and fight for what's right never can tell, what we see is out of sight do the same thing tomorrow that we did tonight will we save the world today? you never know, will we all be safe today? you never know will we fly away or stay? You never know but you know we mighty med team up and let's go! So, how long have you been having problems with your psychic powers? But I waited to come in until my cousin Horace's day off.
We don't get along.
Oh, why not? Typical family stuff.
He loves Bridges.
I hate Bridges.
Enough said! I just thought of something.
When the villain switchblade stranded timeline in the middle of the desert, his power stopped working.
What happens when you're stranded in the desert? Okay, well first, you hide behind a cactus like this.
Right? And then you get so hungry that you think a tortoise is a slowly moving hamburger.
Or, if you're not a cartoon You sweat a lot, causing you to lose electrolytes.
( Machine buzzing ) ( Rapid beeping ) I was right! H-his sodium levels Nurse, start a 20-milliliter saline drip, stat! I love saying "stat.
" I wonder what it means.
( Chuckles ) I feel better already.
No need to thank us.
( Chuckles ) I'm not.
You're about to sneeze like a little kitten, and it's adorable.
( High-pitched sneezing ) This is great.
My English teacher, Ms.
Kessler, does this thing where she randomly calls on kids I wonder if timeline can tell me when she's gonna call on me.
Or you could just do your homework like you're supposed to.
And risk learning stuff but not getting called on? That's crazy talk.
Just be careful, Kaz.
to know that messing with the future only causes problems.
And the last thing I need is to somehow end up being my own father.
Hey, uh Can you tell me when my teacher's gonna call on me I don't know.
I probably shouldn't.
Oh, come one.
I you tell superheroes the future all the time, and nothing bad happens.
It's just a pop quiz.
Fine.
I guess it's not the end of the world.
But you're only cheating yourself.
Yeah? What do you know? She'll call on you tomorrow at 1:14 P.
M.
Oh, cool.
Show me.
Kaz, when was Charles dickens born and where? Uh, 2002 in Baltimore? This is amazing.
I am having a great hair day tomorrow.
Hey, Oliver! Who's "flippy longstocking"? Oh, Jordan, this is my friend sky Connie! She is from outer space state! Out-of-state.
You look so familiar.
Do I know you from somewhere? ( Gasping ) Of course not.
Where could you possibly know her from? So, how was your first class? Did you find everything okay? It was great! I met this really cool guy, and he convince me to join his club! Oh.
Here he comes now.
Connie, you've got something on your shoulder my arm.
Gus? Yep.
He invited me to join the marching band.
Because he told me I should stand out front and shake mine.
I did say that, didn't I? How on earth does Connie think Gus is cool? I don't know.
But this is fantastic! I've wanted to get Gus off my scent for years.
Especially at marching band! I've tried disguises, smoke screens, even look-alike Jordan decoys.
( Chuckles ) Oh, there's one now.
( Clicks tongue ) Lookin' good, Amanda.
Ms.
Kessler: In the world children's lives were dark and miserable otherwise known as The good old days.
Let's re-create those conditions with a pop oral quiz.
Kaz.
You're up.
Finish this quote.
"It was the b" "the best of times, it was the worst of times, "it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, "it was the epoch of belief, "it was the epoch of incredulity, "it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness" kind of a run-on sentence, if you ask me.
( Clears throat ) That was, shockingly, correct, Kaz.
Now, when was ch Charles dickens was born on February seventh, which is situated or 103 kilometers, for you fans of the metric system.
All right.
What character still wears a faded wedding dress after being left Ms.
havisham from great expectations.
Oh, and, uh, speaking of wedding dresses, you might not want to spend too much on yours will be breaking off the engagement tonight.
Oh, but it's all for the best because on Tuesday he gets arrested for identity theft, so you might wanna cancel your credit cards.
How could Connie possibly like Gus? I don't get it, Jordan.
That's not me.
I'm over here Enjoying the beautiful Gus-free zone.
Oh, no.
Incoming! Get ready, Amanda.
This is what you trained for.
Oh, hey Jordan.
( Giggles ) Oliver, look what Gus can do.
( Playing note ) ( Giggling ) What can I say? Chicks dig the nose trombone.
We do.
Marching band is the best.
It sure is.
Which is why I, too, would like to join.
You wanna be in the band? Do you play the oboe? Yes.
( Scoffs ) I am a great "oboer.
" "Oboe-bian"? "Oboe-baggins"? I play the oboe.
Well, we have pretty high standards in the m.
B.
Let me see you march.
Now double time.
Triple time.
And knees up! Now spin! Faster! Like a dreidel! It's a spinning top Popular on the Jewish holiday of "chhhhanukkah.
" Now Drop into a split! Not bad.
You show real promise.
Unfortunately, we don't have any oboes in marching band.
Oliver ( Grunts ) It's probably best that you're not in the band.
Nothing personal, but I want to carve my own path here.
I don't wanna just be "Oliver's friend.
" Believe me, I don't want you to "just be Oliver's friend," either.
Gus: Hey, Connie, you think nose trombone is cool? Check this out.
( Playing notes ) Isn't he the coolest? Wrong! Timeline, thanks for telling me the future.
I totally aced my pop quiz.
Well, it's almost the least I could do.
I tried to do less, but you wouldn't let me.
Can you tell me more about the future? Maybe what I'm getting for Christmas so I know whether to be good or not? Here's something you might find interesting: In 15 minutes, your friend Oliver will be in mortal danger.
What? That's terrible.
Well, you won't have to grieve for long.
Oh, why not? Because in 16 minutes, the apocalypse will be upon us and life as we know it will cease to exist.
( Gasps ) And it's all your fault for making me tell you about that pop quiz.
You said it wouldn't be the end of the world.
So I was wrong.
It's not the end of the world.
I really think you should stop using that expression.
I don't think you know what it means.
The world is literally ending! Glad you finally understand how serious this is.
It's deadly serious, but that's not why I screamed.
( Screams ) See, that's why I screamed.
Okay what do you mean, "the apocalypse will come in 16 minutes"? How? Crimson demon is preparing to launch an all-out assault on humanity.
And now it's 15 minutes.
Crimson demon? The evil emperor of fire? That can't be.
He's not powerful enough.
Computer, show me crimson demon.
Female computerized voice: Showing clemson dragon.
No crimson demon.
Showing "scrimmridge demlon.
" Those aren't even words.
Why would it think I said that? You just need to enunciate.
"Crim-son dae-mon.
" Showing crimson demon.
Kaz: See? I was right.
Crimson demon can't attack without his three brothers: Blue demon, white demon, and Matt demon.
He's the handsome one.
A-anyway, in in tecton issue 45, tecton trapped the brothers in the lower dimension.
But they're about to escape.
How? The portal can't be opened unless three conditions are met: First, "the fool becomes the wise man," second, "night falls during the day," and third, "the chord of discord is struck.
" And you fulfilled the first condition when you got a perfect score on your pop quiz.
"The fool becomes the wise man.
" All right.
You got me there.
And because the first condition was triggered at your school, that is where the first rip in the portal will open.
The other two conditions will soon follow.
This is a nightmare.
We have to save Oliver and avoid apocalyptic doom.
Showing coconut spittoon.
If the world doesn't end, we reall need to get that thing fixed.
Jordan, I know how much you hate doing things for others.
Ah, it's the worst.
But I was hoping you could, maybe, help me keep Gus away from Connie for her own good.
I-I can't do it because I'm not in the marching band.
Wait a minute.
I know what this is about.
You have a crush on Connie.
Pssh.
Pfft.
What? No I don't.
( Mimicking ) Yes you do.
Look at your nostrils.
Every time you lie, your nostrils flare.
Come on, boys! What are you doin' to me? Listen, Oliver I'd like to help you.
But I'd love not to.
And I gotta follow my heart.
There's gotta be a way into that band.
Thanks, Philip.
Ah, one question: How do you go to the bathroom in this thing? New question: Why did you go to the bathroom in this thing? I know you had to find a disguise, but why did you pick that? The world's ending in five minutes.
You want me to be buried in a trench coat? Wait! I'm getting a vision.
The next condition is about to be met.
"Night falls during the daytime.
" I don't get it.
It's totally bright outside.
Would you wait one second? You kids today you have no attention span.
Look.
( Band playing ) ( Music continuing ) Oh, "knight in shining armor falls.
" I did not see that coming.
Yeah, words that sound the same but are spelled different are tricky for us future-seers.
So is the weather.
No one can predict it.
No one.
Philip, are you okay? Oliver?! What are you doing in there? Um I told you I want to do my own thing, and then you dress up so you can follow me around? Yeah, dude, you're making this weird.
Now if you'll excuse us, I have a nose trombone solo.
I normally don't like to help, but, yeah, this is for everyone's benefit.
I hate to break this to you, but crimson demon is just a kid in a mascot costume.
Wait for it.
It's crimson demon! Oliver! Kaz? Oliver: What are you doing here? Why is timeline dressed like that? The world's about to end! What? Crimson demon is in that mascot costume! He's planning on opening the portal to the lower dimension to release his demon brothers! We have to call in some superheroes for help! There's no time! ( Blows discordant note ) It's the "chord of discord"! The portal's opening! We have to do something! Wait! I have a theory.
Maybe if you envision the future while simultaneously recalling the past, you can temporarily freeze the present.
It might work Or it might tear a hole in the universe.
But if that happens, it's not the end of the world.
It is! Stop saying that! Why didn't we freeze? Or him? You're criticizing me? I've just invented a way to freeze time! I can't hold this for long! You can predict the future.
Tell us what to do.
For starters, I suggest we all take one big step backward.
( Evil roar ) Kaz, duck! Oliver, punch him now! Everybody jump! Skylar, kick him between the shoulder blades! That's his weak spot! His "demon parts" are there.
( Discordant note trails off ) ( Chuckling ) Wow.
That note was amazing! Right, Jordan? That one cost me a month's allowance, but Best money I ever spent.
We did it! I knew all along that you would.
Then why didn't you just tell me that? I didn't want to spoil the ending for you.
Listen, skylar, I'm sorry for trying to horn in on your territory.
Well, I know exactly why you did it.
You do? It's so obvious.
You were totally, one hundred per cent Sure that I can't take care of myself in the normal world.
Yep.
That's the reason.
The only reason.
Look, Oliver, I know you're just looking out for me, but I'll be fine.
Okay.
But I have to ask, why would you ever want to go out with Gus? I don't want to go out with Gus.
I've just been a little homesick lately, and he reminds me of a dorenbosch the pets we have on my planet.
Wow.
The resemblance is uncanny And disturbing.
Look at him.
He's so cute! I just wish he had a little tail.
I do.
You wanna see it? I keep it in my wallet.
Thanks for your help.
And tell my cousin Horace I don't forgive him for being late to the family reunion.
When was it? It's next month.
Wait.
Before you go, I probably shouldn't ask, but is there any chance you can tell me what's gonna happen with me and skylar? I see her falling for you in a big way.
Really? That's amazing! Thanks! Wait! I meant falling on you in a big way.
( Boing )
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