Misfits s03e00 Episode Script

Vegas Baby

Vegas, baby.
So? How do I look? Turn around, let me see the ass.
Dead fit, totally shaggable.
I always fancied my dad in a suit I'm sure he's a very attractive man! He must have been to have such a beautiful daughter! I'm loving this new power.
Always wanted to be a magician.
Like "the Great Nathan-o!" Or "the Great Nathanono!" You've got to be, baby.
Wait! "The Great Nano!" Oh fuck it! Who cares when you can do stuff like this? Tada! No? It was supposed to come out of your twat Oh fuck! That was a $1000 chip Can you feel it? Nope, not since Nathan Jr.
was born.
Well, I'll get a torch we'll have a good look later.
Hey, my beautiful boy.
Oh Jesus! The kid shits himself more than I do! Don't swear in front of Nathan Jr.
I do not want his firsts words to be "shit" or "cunt".
So, daddy's got to go to work now.
And papa's gonna win.
And win big.
Vegas baby! Let's play some dice.
The gentleman wants to play? Roll to the gentleman.
Sir? Would you roll the dice? Ok! Here it goes! Here it goes! Lucky number 7? 7.
Winner! Oh oh money! Back to the gentleman.
All in baby! All in! Sir? That bet is over the house limit.
The bet has been accepted.
11! Here! Money, money, money! Thank you and good night.
You need to come with me sir.
Well, it's a lovely offer and you're undoubtedly a handsome man, but I'll be on my way with my winnings.
You don't have any winnings! 7 and 4! Even I know that adds up to 11! You don't get a 7 on a dice Are you sure about that? The police are on their way.
Don't touch the chips! Leave the chips, take your hands off Leave the table! Wait! Wait! Your ass is mine.
Wait! Wait! Have you ever seen a man shit a rabbit out of his anus? I'm thinking not.
Prepare to be amazed, and disgusted.
Ok, here we go Oh breathe, here he comes! Here comes the little fella! Here he comes! Tada! Jesus mother of God! I want to assure you no animals were harmed during this trick, but this little fella could do with a bath Come on, baby.
Come on, baby! Hey! Did you know that there isn't a number 7 on a dice? I was never very good at maths.
No one tells me anything! How am I supposed to know this stuff? It's ridiculous! Yeah but look what I've found! It rolled out when I was having a piss.
Brillant! You keep it.
Open the door, open the door! You might want to stick it back out there for safekeeping.
Who's that? Probably just room service, or some over zealous christians Not today, thank you! God's dead! Christians? Nathan Daddy might be gone away for a little while Ah my ass is killing me.
Come on man, please, please.
Hello? Barry? It's Nathan, listen.
I've only got one phone call and I'm in serious trouble.
Oh no, there is no one called Barry here man.
Who is this? I'm the new guy.
Hello? Oh no! Hello??? Nooooo! It was a wrong nunber! I need another phone call! Save me Barry! No, listen.
I'm too pretty to be in jail.
I drop my shoe!