Modern Love (2019) s01e06 Episode Script

So He Looked Like Dad. It Was Just Dinner, Right?

1 We face the music together And throw our hats in the ring Facing all kinds of weather And not afraid of anything Hey When the sun comes up, we'll be on our way And we don't care where we land And the waves are high, but we won't turn round 'Cause your hand is in my hand And, oh-oh You make me feel invincible 'Cause it's you and me Through the wind and hail Setting sail into the world.
(GLASS CLINKING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) MAN: You've exceeded my dreams.
You're smart, beautiful, accomplished, kind, and finally 21.
Anyone would be proud to be your father, but guess what.
Not everyone is.
I am.
I can't believe how lucky I am.
To Tami on her 21st birthday.
Thanks, Dad, but you don't have to be so sappy.
You are embarrassing me in front of Maddy.
(CHUCKLES) No, I love it.
Keep going.
TAMI'S DAD: Forgive me, Maddy.
It's not every day your little girl turns 21.
- Oh, stop already.
- (MADDY LAUGHS) Ah, ah.
- Oh, oh.
(CHUCKLES) - Oh.
May this first year of adulthood set you on the path to becoming the amazing woman we all know you're destined to be.
Love you, Tami.
I am going to literally projectile vomit - if you don't stop.
- (MADDY CHUCKLES) And I have been an adult since I was 18, Dad.
Really.
You just turned 21, didn't you, Maddy? Yeah, three months ago.
Well, I hope your father didn't embarrass you - like this old softy.
- Oh, no, come on.
No, he didn't.
MADDY: This is how I turned 21.
(LOUD DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) My celebration wasn't something my father would necessarily have approved of.
But that's okay, because he wasn't there.
Having no dad is something I'm used to.
I wasn't even thinking about him that much anymore.
We should use the standard CVT Until somebody made me think about him a lot.
This guy.
He always had crumbs on his sweater.
Little flecks of silver in his sideburns.
His hair was thinning from the top.
But he was handsome, too.
Like an actor playing a dad in an AARP commercial.
John's life depends on it.
(CHUCKLES) Basically, he was dad porn.
The only thing wrong with him was that he didn't have a big enough paunch.
For optimal dadness, his belly needed to touch his knees.
I hatched a plan.
I'm baking cookies for the snack room.
Pass it on.
Do you have anything to add? (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) Uh I knew he would check chocolate chip.
I just knew it.
Um (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) I found any excuse to linger outside his office.
Naturally, he listened to classical music, like any self-respecting robotics genius.
I wanted a reason to go inside.
To see his desk, his books.
Maybe he had a potted plant.
Framed pictures of his past.
Hello? Hi.
Can I help you? It was just the music.
- Is it too loud? - No, no.
I was just wondering who it was.
Oh, uh, it's it's Yo-Yo Ma.
The Bach solo "Cello Suites.
" Do you like it? Yeah, I really I really do.
Okay.
(CHUCKLES) Can I get a coffee? Throw some milk in there.
Hi.
Hi.
(CHUCKLES) You're the one making all the chocolate chip cookies.
Uh (CHUCKLES) Guilty.
I'm eating them all.
I'm getting fat, Madeline.
MADDY: Only my father ever called me by my full name.
People usually just call me Maddy.
You like coffee? I like coffee, too.
Do you like duck? Who who doesn't like duck? Would you like to have dinner sometime? MADDY: So, there's this senior engineer at work who's working on artificial intelligence.
You know, underwater drones that do metocean data collection, measure salinity, you know, carbon levels.
Genius stuff like that.
(GRUNTS) That sounds cool.
I'm having dinner with him tonight.
That sounds creepy.
(LAUGHS) It's not creepy.
It's fine.
- How so? - He's, like, 30 years older than I am.
That never stops them.
I know, but he's, like, old old.
He's totally my dad.
Even his smell.
- You smelled him? - (LAUGHS) I was bringing him papers at his desk, and I leaned over, and I caught this faint old man smell.
Just like my dad had.
It's a thing, you know? Old man smell.
- Huh.
- Look it up.
They make more benzothiazole and nonanol.
Non-anal? It's a metabolite.
- Shut up.
- (LAUGHS) He also smells like Tums.
I think he has digestive issues.
Hmm.
I wonder if that's why he's not getting any fatter.
- Oh, well.
- So, what exactly is happening tonight? Where are you having dinner? At his apartment.
He is cooking for you? This is a date.
It's not a date.
Then why did you iron your blouse? - I iron my blouse every day.
- Since when? Since just now.
(CHUCKLING): Okay, Maddy.
Whatever you say.
Just don't fuck him on your non-date, because then it would be a date.
- (SLAP) - It's not a date.
Yeah, yeah.
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING) MADDY: It was a date.
But it was sort of a dad date.
I mean, listen to these questions he asked.
So, Madeline, do you like to travel? What are your big dreams for your future self? What are you doing hiding out in R & D? (LAUGHS) MADDY: All perfectly solid dad questions.
You get this look on your face in meetings, like you're taking notes on the human comedy for some novel you're writing.
You're an observer, always watching everything.
Like right now, I'm watching you cook.
I'm glad you came.
I wasn't so sure you'd show up.
Here, I want you to try this risotto.
It should be creamy with a little bite to the rice.
Blow.
(MADDY CHUCKLES) Good girl.
Mmm.
(CHUCKLES) It's creamy all right.
It was definitely a date.
You're going home after dessert.
Relax.
Peter? In here.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) Hey.
Come here.
I want you to hear this.
Schumann wrote it for his wife before he went mad.
MADDY: He smelled like wine and oranges and dependability.
He had a gray comforter.
He was a gray comforter.
I was in heaven.
This is nice.
I thought you'd like it.
(CHUCKLES) Are you a golfer? No.
Why? Because your socks have little putting greens on them.
PETER: They do? (LAUGHS): Yeah, look.
(LAUGHS) How about that? (MADDY LAUGHS) - Wait, don't throw them.
- Why? I love them.
No, I'm just getting more comfortable.
How can I make you more comfortable? MADDY: Mm (EXHALES) Why don't you You can tell me a story.
What kind of story? About when I was little.
About Well, I didn't know you then.
Yeah, but what if you did? I'm just playing.
It's just a game.
Okay, what's the game? Well, that for a minute, that you pretend to be my dad.
Your dad, uh I pretend that I'm your dad? Only if you want to.
And where is your actual dad? He died when I was 11.
I'm sorry.
And you want me to No, not I mean, not if you think it's, like, weird.
- Don't.
- No, I mean, it's a little weird.
(LAUGHS) Th then then never mind.
Just just forget about it.
Once upon a time - No, don't.
Don't.
- No There was a little girl.
She had big blue eyes and short blonde hair, and her name was Madeline.
(CHUCKLES) No, just stop.
No, stop, please.
I'm I'm embarrassed now.
I had, like, too much wine, and I'm acting like an idiot.
What's going on here? I went to my friend's birthday last week, and her dad came, and he said all these "I'm so proud of you" things to her.
"You're a brilliant young woman.
" "You'll achieve your dreams.
" "Everything's gonna be all right.
" And it slayed me.
I I never had anyone say those things to me.
And ever since, I've been fucked up.
(CHUCKLES) - I'm sorry.
- No, no.
Hey.
I understand.
You do? How? Because I'm a dad.
- (CHUCKLING): Really? - Mm-hmm.
How many? Two.
(CHUCKLES) Well, how old? Well, they're, um they're older than you are.
(SIGHS) Jesus.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
MADDY: After that, the genius and I were friendly but distant for a few weeks.
I was shocked to realize how much I missed him.
At least I had his golf socks.
I took them home on risotto night.
I found they helped me sleep.
The genius did say he understood me that night.
"It's okay.
I understand.
" Those were his exact words.
Maybe I needed to see him again.
DRIVER: You look sad.
Why aren't you smiling? You'll look pretty if you smile.
You know what? It's not my job to look pretty for you.
I'll smile when I want to.
So you don't care if you look ugly? Why don't you just watch the road and do your job silently? - You don't have to take that tone.
I'm just being nice.
- Look out! (TIRES SCREECH, ALARM BLARES) MADDY: So, when my Uber driver kindly arranged for me to hit my head, I knew just who I wanted to call.
PETER: You have everything you need from her, Officer? I'd like to get her to the ER and have her looked at.
Yeah, I don't need the ER.
You could have a concussion.
Best to find out.
I'd listen to your dad on this one.
You're free to leave.
PETER: Thank you, Officer.
Come on.
It's nice to see you.
Even under the circumstances.
Thanks for coming.
I'm glad you called.
I'm surprised, but I'm glad.
I missed you.
Me, too.
MADDY: I really didn't need an MRI.
I barely tapped my head.
But Peter had so much fatherly concern for me that I felt obligated to assuage his fears.
And MRis don't hurt, not even a little bit.
- NURSE: Are you claustrophobic? - Very.
I panic in small spaces.
I'll be right here.
Can you hold onto my feet? Of course.
I'll hold onto them the whole time.
If I curl my toes, that's the sign that I'm scared, okay? Okay.
If you curl your toes, I'll know you're scared.
I'll squeeze your feet to let you know everything's okay.
(MACHINE BUZZING, WHIRRING) Everything's okay.
MADDY: I loved that MRI.
It was, like, the best 45 minutes of my life.
For the next couple weeks, the genius continued to help me with every problem I had.
- Here.
- Thanks.
He was, like, dream dad.
(WHISPERING): Is your poop in there? - Can you believe it? - I really can't.
TAMI: I just can't.
- He is amazing.
- I know.
I want one.
You have one.
- Got it.
- (TOILET FLUSHING) MADDY: The genius and I started hanging out on weekends.
Somehow, he knew exactly what to do with me.
- (LAUGHING): This goat.
- (BLEATING) - Sounds human.
- Dear God, that's outrageous.
MADDY: I was regressing nicely.
I let Peter buy me cotton candy, for fuck's sake.
Which was beyond the pale, even for me.
And he got me a stuffed sea lion.
- (CHUCKLES) - (SEA LION BARKING) JONATHAN: Papa! Papa! So, let's, uh Come on.
Why are you pulling me away? - Papa! - Uh, let's go look at the monkeys over there.
Are you running away from that toddler? What are you talking about? Oh! Why, it's Johnathan.
Hello! What are you doing at the zoo? You could have called us.
I know, it's it's unusual for me to be here.
Unexpected.
I'm Maddie.
I work with Peter.
I I'm Leslie.
Leslie's my daughter.
LESLIE: So, you're working Sundays now? Yeah, it's it's brutal.
You know, they'll I mean, they're always pushing us.
Relentless.
And you just decided to take a break at the zoo.
Wow.
- How funny.
- Mm.
- It's a strange thing.
- Yeah.
You have a sea lion.
- Yes, yes, I do.
- May I hold it? I love him.
- Okay, honey, it's time to give it back.
- No! - I don't want to.
- PETER: You know what? Let him keep it.
He can have it.
No problem.
- LESLIE: Uh - Right? Right? Right.
Uh, yeah, of course.
(CHUCKLES): It's for you.
- Say thank you.
- Thank you.
PETER: Oh listen, I I need to get going back to work now.
Okay, well, say goodbye to Grandpa, Jonathan.
- Bye-bye, Grandpa.
- Boof.
Okay, I'll see you soon, Jonathan? LESLIE: Am I still seeing you next Saturday for brunch, or will you be working? Oh, I'll see you then.
- All righty.
- Bye-bye, buddy.
- JONATHAN: Bye.
- PETER: Goodbye.
JONATHAN: I want to go see the alligator.
LESLIE: Alligator? There is no alligator here.
- (LAUGHTER) - WOMAN: Keep up.
Keep going.
I loved everything about that.
Really? 'Cause I I thought you might I thought you might not like the grandpa part.
Are you kidding? I loved that part.
I loved all of it.
Except for giving my sea lion away.
I mean, I already named him Mr.
Sea Lion.
- (CHUCKLES) - I'm sorry.
(BOTH LAUGH) Oh, man.
That's beautiful.
- It's a nice color.
- Come on.
(BELLS CHIME) - It's chic, right? - You need a good coat.
You'll catch cold in that thing you wear.
- I could live in this.
- Do you want it? (WHISPERS): It's $395.
But do you want it? I can't believe this is mine.
I love it so much.
- You know what? Do me a favor.
- What? - Here, come here.
- Yeah? Just (SIGHS) Humor me.
Let's put the hood up.
Oh, my God.
You're adorable.
What the fuck are you doing?! What? You're mad? - What was that? - It was a kiss.
I thought we were going somewhere.
I thought you liked me.
- No, not in that way.
- Really? - I mean, I'm surprised at - You're, like, 30 years older than me.
Are you gonna hold my age against me? You've been coming on to me for weeks now, Madeline.
- Me coming on to you? - Yeah.
I've been doing but nothing but telling you! Telling me what? What have you told me? What? Telling you with with with signs and and words that that wouldn't hurt your feelings that I'm not into you that way.
What were you thinking? Can you calm down and just not act act like you're not at least partly responsible for this? - Laying on the bed with me? - That was snuggling.
Oh, is that what you call it? Because your breasts were pushed up against me, - and don't say they weren't.
- Oh, my God.
That wasn't intentional! What am I supposed to do with them? They're out front.
It doesn't mean anything.
What kind of snuggling was it, then? The the dad kind.
The dad kind? So I'm your dad? We we talked about this.
You need to grow up.
This is unhealthy.
Oh, and fucking somebody 40 years younger is? 40? Where'd you come up with 40? This is a lot of hostility coming from someone who let me just buy her a fancy coat.
There it is.
I can't believe you would reduce our relationship to a cold calculation.
What is this? Coat for sex? Are you serious? This was a transaction? - Wait, what are you doing? Now, don't put - No, I just - Take it.
Take it.
Here, take it.
- No, just I'm sorry.
I should I shouldn't have said that.
I want you to have the coat.
It wasn't a trade.
Of course not.
You're freezing.
Put it on.
No, I don't want to touch that coat ever again.
Just fuck that coat! Well, then, here, would Will you put mine on? This got out of hand.
I didn't mean what I said.
Okay? I'm just I I feel like a fool, okay? (CRYING): I'm the stupid one.
Of course you weren't gonna buy me a coat because you're nice.
Because I need one, because because you wanted to take care of me for a bit.
I mean, how how could I think that that was enough for you? I don't know, Madeline.
Is it enough for most men, in your experience? I don't know.
I I don't have any experience with men.
But I don't know what it it feels like to just have a man look after you just 'cause.
You were expecting a lot if you really thought it was gonna stay platonic.
I mean, what was supposed to be in it for him? Me.
All of me.
Except for sex.
You sure you don't want to sleep with Grandpa? I'm not attracted to him.
Come on, Tami.
I mean, you're the one that said it was creepy.
It is creepy, but who cares? You gotta take the bad with the good.
And also, the pilot light is out, and we need someone to fix it.
Don't you think you could give him another chance? MADDY: I closed my eyes and tried to feel good about sex with the genius.
I really tried.
- (PANTING) - Does that feel good? Do you like that? - You're so hot.
You're like - (SHUSHING) - Don't say anything, okay? - Mm-hmm.
But I couldn't envision myself with him.
I just wasn't attracted to him that way.
I decided I had to let go of the genius entirely.
(QUIET CHATTER) Madeline? Yeah? Uh can I talk to you for a minute outside? - MADDY: What's up? - PETER: I have something important that I want to say to you.
Oh, my God.
I'm fired.
- What? - I'm fired.
Y you're getting me fired.
- No, hold on.
Hold on a second.
- Am I right? Am I right? - No, look.
Just - B because usually that's that's what happens.
- Will you just - I've disturbed you, so you're gonna find a way to remove me from your field of vision, and I'll get a bad performance review, and they'll find out that I've been photocopying a lot, - and and they'll fire me.
- Look.
Look.
Look.
None of that's gonna happen.
- Really? - Really.
We both did this.
I would never blame it all on you.
I would never try to get you to leave.
Okay? Look.
I wanted a moment with you because I wanted to to tell you that I'm leaving.
What? I'm leaving.
I'm taking a little break away.
What? All of a sudden? I was able to arrange a sabbatical.
Is it is it because of me? Yes.
I'm sorry.
I I I never No, don't be.
Don't.
It - I never I never - Yeah, I know.
It was eye-opening.
(STAMMERING) (SHUDDERING BREATHS) Are you crying? Aren't aren't you Aren't you a little old to be crying? Why can't I cry? Why can't I have emotions about this? Just 'cause I'm older? It's bullshit that, you know, older people have have it together.
It's more of the same.
You're just trying to figure it out.
I really am sorry.
I have something that I want to say to you, and I want you to really listen and take it in, Madeline.
Okay.
I want you to know that that you're a wonderful girl.
You're smart.
Resourceful, beautiful.
And you will accomplish whatever whatever you set your heart on.
You have grown up to be an extraordinary young woman.
You're the daughter of any father's dreams.
I am very very, very proud of you, Madeline.
MADDY: And in that moment, something shifted.
Watching the genius walk away from me, I felt released.
Split open.
His words had been transformational.
Suddenly, I was finally grown up.
Wait! After all these years, it's still the same After all this time, not much to say I just keep walking away From this day You can still feel small though you are grown You can be surrounded but alone You can go searching for home In a place you've never known Take my hand I don't want this day to end And I don't want to look forward.

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