Mom s03e04 Episode Script

Sawdust and Brisket

Hello, Beverly.
I said, "hello, Beverly.
" I heard you.
All right, well, namaste, grumpy pants! You are too nice, Bonnie Plunkett.
And too good-lookin'.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
What's wrong? I just got a text from Violet.
She's on her way over.
She give a hint what it's about? No.
Just "coming over, need to talk.
" Ooh, very scary, boys and girls.
Do you think she broke up with Gregory? That or she's pregnant again.
Or she broke up with him and she's pregnant.
Again.
Oh, I hate this.
Hang on.
Maybe we're overreacting.
Maybe she's on her way over here to share some good news with her mother.
If you're not gonna take this seriously then just be quiet.
Well, this is a nice surprise.
So far.
What brings you by? This is kind of hard for me to say.
Um Oh, God.
I gave birth to you in less time.
What is it? Relax.
It's nothing bad.
Then why are you here? All right.
I know I haven't been the best daughter lately.
Careful.
Could be a trap.
I-I never call.
I never check to see how you're doing.
Well, honey, in your defense, I think that's just 'cause you don't like me.
And that's fine.
No, it's not.
I've been talking to Gregory about everything that goes on between us, and he encouraged me to reach out to you, see if we maybe could rebuild our relationship.
Oh.
I did not see this coming.
Did you see this coming? I did not.
Anyway, I really liked the idea because I don't want the kind of relationship with you that you have with grandma.
Hey.
You know, your mom and I have been getting along - really - Szh-szh-szh-szh.
Go ahead, honey.
That's it.
I just wanted to tell you I love you and I hope we can start spending more time together.
Oh, Violet.
That's the best news you could've brought me.
Yeah.
She thought you were pregnant.
Do you not know the meaning of "Szh-szh-szh"? That's great, Christy.
That's the real benefit of staying sober.
Families get to heal.
Yeah.
It's finally happening.
Tell her the best part.
Oh.
After three years of requests and pokes, my daughter has accepted me as her friend on Facebook.
Wonderful.
Of course, now I know that she has a marijuana leaf tattooed on her ass, but still yay.
Oh, boy.
Let's go somewhere else.
What was that about? Who knows? Bitch be crazy.
That's the woman in our building my mother stole drugs from.
They weren't drugs.
They were cat tranquilizers.
How is that not drugs? I had to take, like, seven to get a buzz.
That's 'cause you don't weigh eight pounds.
Okay.
We're getting off the point.
I'm guessing you didn't make the amends to her that we discussed.
Well, that'd be a good guess, Marjorie.
What are you waiting for? Honestly? For the day I find her dead, bloated body in the bathtub.
Bonnie, if you want to stay sober and walk through this world free of guilt, shame, and resentment, you have to take responsibility for your actions.
What? Sorry.
It's just it's hard to imagine you Sorry.
This is so much fun.
I can't remember the last time you and I went shopping.
I do.
I was nine.
I'd outgrown all my clothes for school, so you stole some jeans and t-shirts and shoved 'em in my backpack.
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
You know, I stole that backpack, too.
No.
My kid wants a Hello Kitty backpack, she gets a Hello Kitty backpack.
Oh, my God.
I know.
I'm sorry.
No, don't be.
I'm finally realizing that you were doing the best you could to take care of me.
Thanks, baby.
I hope you know I'm not the Shoplifting, drug-addled, single mom I used to be.
Don't worry.
We're good.
You mean that? Yeah.
Come here.
Again? I promise this is the last time I'll cry today.
Good, 'cause I need you to help me do some damage to Gregory's credit card.
You got it.
It's so nice he gives you money for clothes.
Yeah.
He's 22 years older than me.
He gives me money for everything.
As well he should.
Oh.
Yes? - Meh.
- Meh? Meh.
Yeah, you're right.
Meh.
Ooh.
Now, this is cute.
Super cute.
‭mm-hmm.
Look at this.
Ooh.
I love that, too.
Not Meh? So not Meh.
Ugh, now I have to make a decision.
No, you don't.
I'll stick this one in my purse.
Mom.
I'm kidding.
You know, how 'bout you buy that one, I'll buy this one, and we'll share? Wow, we are like best friends.
Always and forever.
Oh.
It's still alive.
'Bout time you fixed that thing.
There are 24 units in this building, Beverly.
I'm only one person.
Our old building manager had everything running perfectly.
Yeah.
And then he went out behind the trash bins and blew his brains out.
At least he knew where the trash bins were.
I fixed it! Well, that's a first.
We need to clear the air.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
All right.
I'm listening.
What's the matter, cat tranquilizers got your tongue? Okay.
Let's put all our cards on the table.
I don't like you, you don't like me.
Go on.
That's it.
Hey.
Hey! Too much.
I'm out.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I got to share this with you.
What? I realize now that all of the heartbreak, all of the struggle, it all had a purpose.
To allow me to have the greatest day a mother could ask for.
And I got a new top.
Go Christy, go Christy.
Are you high? On life.
My daughter loves me.
What must that be like? Oh, right.
You wouldn't know.
We went shopping, we got pedicures, and then we had coffee with her friends.
And get this, Violet wasn't embarrassed to be seen with me.
She was actually proud.
Of what? I know! I thought the same thing.
But it turns out being a high school dropout, recovering alcoholic, failed pole dancer with two kids from two different loser baby daddies makes me the cool mom.
Did you tell 'em how you used to smuggle drugs into the country in your tushy? Does Neil Diamond forget to sing "Sweet Caroline"? And it gets better.
Violet invited us over for dinner with her and Gregory this Sunday.
Can't wait.
What's the matter with you? I just tried to make amends to Beverly.
It didn't go very well.
Aw.
Too bad.
Okay, well, bye! Where you goin'? I've got a class.
Hey, mom, not that you asked for my opinion I think you should go over to Beverly's apartment and straighten things out with her.
I promise it'll make you feel better, and, more importantly, it will help you stay sober.
Are you done? Not yet.
Go Bonnie, go Bonnie.
Get out of here! Go Bonnie! Go Bonnie! Hi, Beverly.
What do you want, Plunkett? Here's 50 bucks.
What's this for? A while back, you accused me of stealing some of your cat's tranquilizers.
At the time, I denied it because I was Well, I was blasted on cat tranquilizers.
But I'm sober now, and part of me staying that way is repairing the damage I did.
Is that it? Not quite.
Uh, for the last six months, I've been turning your rent in late, so you may want to check your credit rating.
- You didn't.
- I did.
Also, if you've been wondering what happened to your fruit-of-the month basket well, here.
The mangoes were delicious.
Is there more? No, that's it.
I'm sorry, and I hope you can forgive me.
Amazing.
Thank you.
No, I mean, it's amazing you think you can throw a few bucks around, wave a magic wand, and suddenly, you're not a horrible human being anymore.
Well, that would be ideal.
Well, I don't forgive you.
Oh, come on, Beverly.
I'm really trying here.
No you're not.
You're just flappin' your gums and hoping I let you off the hook.
But you know what? You're a liar and an addict, and And I have no respect for people like you.
And you can keep your money! Oh.
I don't see how this is keeping me sober.
That top looks great on you.
Thanks.
I'm kind of diggin' yours.
Bonnie, is the brisket okay? Yeah, just not much of an appetite.
She's a little depressed because she found out how much people hate her.
Not people.
Person.
No, I asked around.
It's people.
I find that hard to believe.
You're always so, uh I'm always so what? At the moment, scary.
Uh, I'm-I'm just gonna clear this stuff away.
You have him trained well.
I can't take credit for that.
His mom broke him pretty good.
It's true.
You guys seem like you're doing great.
We are.
You know, a couple nights ago, we stayed up talking until 2:00 in the morning.
About what? All kinds of stuff.
Did you know that George Bush's dad was president, too? Fascinating.
So, how is he in the sack? Mom! You do not have to answer that.
Oh, come on.
I'm missing Sunday night football.
Give me something.
All right, this is kind of cute.
Suddenly you're curious.
Well, she is my best friend.
After we, like You know, do it, he giggles.
Why? Is he ticklish? Seriously? He's giggling because he can't believe his good luck.
What was so funny? Oh, nothing.
You know us girls.
We just love to giggle.
Multiple times.
I'll get dessert.
I have to tell you, Violet has been a totally different person the last few days.
How so? Well, she's What's the right word? Happy.
Me, too, and I know you're the one who encouraged her to mend fences with me, and I can't thank you enough.
You're welcome.
Although to be completely honest, I did have a selfish motive.
- What do you mean? - Well, as a psychotherapist, I know that if a woman has a positive relationship with her mother, she's more likely to forge strong bonds with her own children.
Sorry.
Too late.
Anyway, I, uh, can't wait to be a father, and you and Violet getting along will only make her a better mom.
I get that, but you can wait a little while, right? Oh, yeah, well, we're not even married yet.
On the other hand, I'm not getting any younger.
True, you wait too long, you'll be shootin' sawdust.
Mom! Well, where do you think sawdust comes from? You have lots of time to have kids.
And I know that Violet's not in a rush.
She wants to finish college, maybe even start a career before she has another baby.
I'm sorry.
Another baby? Huh? You just said, "before she has another baby.
" Yeah, you did just say that.
Why'd you say that? Huh? Are you telling me that Violet had a baby? I think it's charming you giggle after sex.
Who's ready for banana cream? What's wrong? Excuse me.
What's going on? Violet, I assumed you told him about the baby.
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.
I do so much better when you are not in my life.
I know how upset you must be, but if we leave now, we can get home in time to see the fourth quarter.
What are you looking at? Pictures of me and Violet, back when she loved me.
Oh, that's a good one.
When did you take that? Three hours ago.
Ugh! I want to apologize.
To me? The other day, I said some things I'm not proud of.
To me? Yeah.
Okay.
My dad was a drunk.
He did some horrible things.
And then he'd just say, "sorry, I'll never do it again.
" And then he'd do it again.
So when you apologized It kind of set me off.
Beverly, I had no idea.
How could you? Anyway, I realize you're not him, and it wasn't fair to talk to you the way I did.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, too.
Thanks.
Wait! Beverly? You want to come in for some tea and football? Okay.
Hi, Christy.
Hi.
You know, you two have a lot in common.
Her mom was a drunk.
- It's Violet.
- Ooh! Hey, Vi.
What's goin' on? I just wanted to apologize for what I said last night.
Okay.
She's apologizing.
- To who? - To me.
- Why? - No idea.
Honey, um, I'm the one who should be apologizing.
No, it was my fault.
I should have told Gregory about the baby, but I was too scared.
I understand.
Just know that Grandma and I will always lie for you, but you got to give us a heads up.
Tell her lying's what makes us a family.
Szh-szh-szh.
Szh.
So how's it going with Gregory? Not good.
He's real upset.
Violet, not that you asked for my opinion Oh, boy.
But in my experience, when you screw up and get caught-- something I've done a lot-- it's usually best to take responsibility and deal with the consequences.
You think he'll forgive me? Honey, you're 22 years younger than he is.
He'd forgive you for burning down his house.
You might be right.
I might be right.
More importantly, Violet, do you want to stay with Gregory? I do.
Well, then, if you hang in there and work it out, I guarantee you'll have him giggling again in no time.
Thanks, Mom.
I love you.
I love you, too.
You've become a good mom.
Thank you.
I'm not gonna say it back.