Monarch Of The Glen (2000) s03e08 Episode Script
Series 3, Episode 8
Hector: Half a century, Molly, since I swore allegiance to king and country.
We went into the army as boys, green, callow; came out men, bold and bloody.
Now the regiment reunites just as we vowed, 50 years to the day.
The old squad, together again for the first time since the war.
- How many are coming? - Six.
- Six? - Molly: What happened to the rest? Eight were untraceable.
One one is living with a costume designer in Perth, calls herself Judith.
- Another is missing in Acton.
- Shouldn't that be action? No, Acton- suburb of London.
Five have moved overseas.
Two have joined religious orders.
Six haven't responded and 11 are no longer with us.
What about Toad? He hasn't croaked, has he? Hope not.
Hasn't RSVP'd.
- Toad? - Best man at our wedding.
You'd like him, Archie.
- They're coming up the drive.
- This is it.
Places, everyone.
( bagpipes playing ) Hector: I was captain to a fine body of soldiers, Archie.
Lean, clean- and mean, when we had to be.
( wracking coughs ) - Hector: there.
- ( coughs ) Did you ever see a more splendid sight? ( theme music playing ) May I have a moment, everyone? Um this is Mr.
Chris McCullen, the owner of what is undoubtedly the centerpiece of this exhibition.
For 24 hours, anyway.
- Mr.
McCullen.
- Thank you.
( applause ) "The Proud Piper" is a tribute to the courage of yourselves and your fellow old Caledonians.
- Hector: Hear, hear! - Soldiers: hear, hear.
And since the 1970 disbandment, I am honored that it has been in the possession of my family.
And you should be equally honored to have it here today.
Ladies and gentlemen- the regimental mascot, "the Proud Piper.
" - Hector: Splendid, bravo.
- ( clapping ) "The Proud Piper!" All: "The Proud Piper!" ( laughing ) Look at him- happy as a sandboy.
And the painting really is the icing on the cake.
It's a shame we can't keep it for longer than a day.
I mean you'd think for £500 we are lucky to have gotten Mr.
McCullen to hire it to us at all.
It's been in exhibitions all over the world, as he will tell you at great length, if you let him.
- Look out.
- Can I offer you a refill? I think I'll pass.
Not quite what I'm used to.
- George, this is my boy Archie.
- How do you do? - It's a real pleasure.
- This is Stella.
- Hi.
- ( suggestively ) Hello.
How long have you two been together? No, we're not- well, we are- but not as a couple.
I'm the estate's financial controller.
Oooh! handed over the baton, eh, Hector? Something like that.
George: All is going swimmingly, I take it? Stella: Started to.
we even made a small profit last month.
Not just a pretty face, eh? ( George chuckles ) I'm sure the future's in safe hands.
What do you say, Hector? To Stella and Archie! - What is it, darling? - Any news on Toad? No, I had hoped that the hero of Halfway Hill would be with us but - I hope nothing's happened to him.
Excellent vintage, George.
Good, there's stacks more in the Bentley.
Now then, what have we got to go with it? I hope you haven't put the cookhouse to too much trouble, Hector.
Corned beef hash and cabbage.
What do you think about that? - What's this then? - I don't believe it.
See? I told you they wouldn't like it.
Just wait till tomorrow, a real treat for youse - spam fritters.
( groaning ) It's a taste of the old days.
I thought that was what we were here for.
If only.
But the digestion's not what it was.
I've organized all the menus.
An army marches on its stomach.
And what did you always used to say? "A successful plan is a flexible plan"? It'll mean getting in fresh supplies.
I'll see what I can arrange.
Good man, Archie, and don't spare the expense.
- We can all chip in.
- Guests: hear, hear.
Aren't you going to eat something before you go? Actually, I don't think I will.
But then that's all the more for you, isn't it? You could see it today.
People take to Archie very quickly.
That's a rare quality.
Is that right? - Well in business I mean.
- Of course.
- Lexie: hiya.
- Hi.
We were just talking about you.
All good I hope.
I need the checkbook.
- What for? - Bit of a change on the catering front.
Less corned beef more cordon bleu.
I'm popping into town to see what I can pick up.
Don't worry- - we're not footing the whole bill.
- In that case, why don't I come with you? Two heads are better than one.
- Yeah, okay.
- Why don't I come with you? - It doesn't need all three of us.
- And I am paying for it.
- Who'll be doing the cooking? - Why don't you two just go together? There's plenty I could be doing here.
( laughing ) Now then, listen up, chaps.
I know you don't all want to be sitting around all day.
- ( laughter ) - Golly! - Tell them about the facilities.
- Do you have a sauna? - Sorry? - A sauna? - Afraid not.
- I couldn't manage without mine.
- A jacuzzi? - Golly: We're more a kind of outdoor activity style.
Shooting, fishing, hill walking.
But I could take you out in the loch, - or give you a tour of the estate.
- Uh-huh.
- There's no doubt in my mind.
- Yes, George? A brandy, a cigar and a good long think about it.
- Come on, lads.
- ( mates agree ) - Hector: Golly.
- Yes, boss? Stand easy.
Thanks, boss.
How long do you think you've got left, then? Before you move on? Are you trying to get rid of me? No, no! Just wondered.
Realistically, I could be gone in a couple of weeks.
Although I'd like to stay as long as Archie feels he needs me.
Lexie: He'll be lucky to get a lift out here.
- Pull over.
- Are you joking? He could be anyone.
And he might be stranded with a very long way to the next bus.
Pull over.
Now what are the chances of that happening? - What? - Me being offered a lift by two of the prettiest girls in the highlands.
Don't get too carried away.
It depends on where you're going.
But we can at least point you in the right direction.
Proper couple of angels you are.
Do you know the Glenbogle estate? It's your lucky day.
I hope so, lass.
( chuckles ) Is he all right, George? He's sure to be.
( snorts ) George: There you are, you see.
Rather partial to an afternoon nap, myself.
Least he's still with us.
Which reminds me, let's raise our glasses to those who aren't.
Our comrades who fell alongside us, and those chums who came through it but can't be with us today.
- Absent friends.
- All: Absent friends! - Wherever they may be! - All: Hear, hear.
Stranger: I can tell you where one of them is.
Ah, it's Toad! - George: Toad! - Who else? Toady! I can't believe it.
You got here.
- Did you ever doubt it? - Well done, old son.
Is that the lot? Yep, I think so.
What about that one? - Careful! - ( glass shatters ) ( Lexie screams ) Oh my the hero of Halfway Hill! - This must be your daughter? - Oh, stop it.
Give me a hug.
I knew you wouldn't miss an opportunity to meet up with your old friends.
Never mind about them, it's you I've come to see.
- Lexie, have you met? - Yeah, yeah, we have.
Have you got a minute? Oh dear, someone ought to fetch Archie.
- Stella: Someone already has.
- How did this happen? - It was an accident.
- We were trying to get cleared as quickly as possible.
- I don't think Lexie realized- - are you saying it's my fault? It's what Mr.
McCullen says that matters.
This is £20,000 worth of paintings, he was at great pains to mention more than once.
Can you do anything with it, Molly? I'll try.
Archie, you'd better take it up to my studio.
I'll need some scissors, tape - and some strong adhesive.
- Anything else? A miracle- if you can arrange it.
Archie: Hopefully, we're insured.
That was our silver wedding.
I wish you could have been there.
Not half as much as I do.
Molly is looking as pretty as ever.
She seems happy too, you must be doing something right, you old dog.
One tries one's best.
What about you? Did you ever take the long walk? - Up the aisle? - Ah, yes.
planning to.
Catherine, that's her name.
Delightful.
You must bring her up with you next time.
- No can do.
- You must.
We'd be delighted.
She's pretty much of a one-off, I'm afraid.
It was important that I saw you.
The fact is I shouldn't even be in the country.
- Hayfever? - No, no, no.
I meant "country" as in "this great nation.
" Officially, I'm on the lam.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
I have no truck with all this vegetarian nonsense.
No, no, no.
I did a runner.
- Runner? - Went over the wall.
- Whose wall? - Her Majesty's.
I've escaped from prison.
Good lord.
( chuckles ) Molly: How's that? - Lexie: Better.
- You can still see it.
Only if you look very closely.
But that's what you do with paintings.
Archie does know what he's talking about.
Molly: One last try then.
Come on.
( painting rips ) Oh- oh dear.
I always had a knack with the old explosives.
So when we all went our separate ways, I found a career that put my talents to good use.
- Demolition? - Safe-breaking.
- Precious stones mainly.
- Good lord! But it's a young man's game.
Eventually I got caught.
But not before I'd salted away enough for my retirement.
So I dug in and did my time.
Took it on the chin, I'll wager.
Wouldn't have expected anything less.
It wasn't enough for the old bill though.
Almost as soon as I got out, I got framed for a job that wasn't mine.
Ended up with another 10 years.
I made my break in '89, still with eight left to serve.
- Where have you been hiding? - Marbella.
I've got a lot of friends out there.
And now, of course there's - Catherine? - Yeah, that's the fella.
This is the first time I've been back.
It wasn't easy, but I couldn't let the old team down.
- Especially you, captain.
- Heck of a chance to take.
You know I've always remembered our pact to meet up.
And you know there are things that need to be said.
Last goodbyes, you mean? - Partly.
- But what if you get caught? Who's gonna know I'm here? Welcome to Glenbogle, historical home of the Clan MacDonald, with amenities now open to the public, including our new military exhibition, which will only be with us for a short while.
So if you'd like to go straight on up- thanks, but we're not here for sightseeing.
We heard a long-lost friend was in the area.
Ah, it will be the reunion then.
The old soldiers, they're having a get-together.
Worth checking out.
Got to be.
If you're going that way anyway, I could do you a deal on the tickets.
Let's say- half price? Thanks, but when you've got one of these you don't pay to get in anywhere.
This is Toad.
A more courageous man you'll never meet.
- Please.
- You wouldn't believe what he's gone through to get here.
We don't need to bore everyone with the details.
Suffice it to say I'm here.
And never has Glenbogle had a more welcome guest.
Pulled me out of many a scrape.
- Haven't we all? - Quite.
Toad, whatever you want, treat this place like home.
( knocking ) Sorry to interrupt but Duncan's on his way up the drive with a couple of fellows that have the definite look of the law about them.
Oh, mother, not more parking fines.
It must be a really extensive job, then.
It brings its own rewards.
Like getting to drive as fast as you can? I thought about joining the force myself, when I was younger.
- So what stopped you? - My mother.
She said there was already enough disgrace in the family.
Ah, here's our man.
- Archie, this is- - D.
S.
Grundy and D.
C.
West.
National Crime Squad.
- They're with the police.
- Yes, thank you, Duncan.
If there's anything else you need - just ask.
- We'll bear it in mind.
- So what can I do for you? - This man, have you seen him? Real name Terry McLean, aka Toady Mclntyre, aka Terry the Toff.
Notorious jewel thief- in his day.
Ugly boot, isn't he? Sorry, can't help you, can we? No.
This is my father.
Why don't you have a proper look? We are open to the public.
We get a lot of people wandering around here.
- But definitely not him.
- He's in the area and he's not camera-shy.
They caught him on video at Edinburgh airport, and at Inverness station.
Archie: That doesn't mean he's here, does it? He's also ex-army.
If you've got some sort of reunion going on- it's just a coincidence, isn't it? - Yes.
- So you won't mind- if we have a wander round? Duncan: I could show you around if you like.
Why don't you do that? Mmm.
Thanks for your support, by the way.
How do you mean? Trying to stir things up with Archie about what happened to the painting.
I was just telling it like it was.
Oh, please, you must think my mother knitted me.
What are you talking about? The way you keep trying to put me down.
You should hear yourself.
"Archie knows what he's talking about.
" And "I'll be here for as long as he feels he needs me.
" That doesn't mean anything.
It means you fancy him something rotten.
See? I'm right, aren't I? What's the matter, Lex? Afraid of a little competition? ( scoffs ) Molly: I simply cannot allow you in there.
- Why would that be? - ( toilet flushes ) Oh sorry, didn't realize there was a queue.
You could have just said.
All clear.
Duncan: The dining room's this way.
What's down here then? The kitchen.
Come on.
Duncan, Duncan.
- Molly: you've been this way before.
- Officer: I don't think so.
Ahhh ahh ah.
Ahh ah! - What is going on? - Toad's in the hole! He's hardly going to be in there, is he? What do you think? We've got him peeling potatoes? Let's just see.
Shall we? Right.
You see you have to get as much air in as possible.
That's the secret of very good meringue.
Hector: What my baked Alaska sadly lacks.
Oh, ah, hello, chaps.
Any luck? - Doesn't seem like it.
- Did try to tell you.
Are sure you don't want to search the whole estate? 35 and 1/2 thousand acres.
Start now, you might finish by Tuesday- that won't be necessary.
Which is the quickest way back to the car? Through here.
Sorry to have troubled you folks.
Okay? You can come out now.
( Hector laughs ) Well done, Lexie.
Terry, a small dram to celebrate? - Oh, aye.
- Archie: father? I think we need a word.
Molly: Toad, you're an outlaw.
How exciting.
Did you ever meet Mr.
Big- in the slammer, I mean? This isn't a movie, mother.
I'm sorry, Toad, we'd like to help but- and we will.
You'll stay as long as you like.
Stella: MacDonald family harbors escaped prisoner.
- How's that going to look? - What if he was wrongly convicted? - We've only got his word for it.
- Toad wouldn't lie, not to me.
Archie: The jury obviously seemed to think differently.
I'm sorry.
If he gets caught here, we could all end up behind bars.
- It wouldn't come to that.
- Stella: he's right.
Do you know what the penalty is for hiding a fugitive, Hector? - Just because you two played soldiers does not mean- - Hector: young lady! Ours was a friendship forged on a battlefield.
Giving him up would be like betraying a brother.
Can't you understand? - It's all right, captain.
- No, it's not! - This all happened a very long time ago.
- Yes, it did.
But when somebody saves your life, you tend not to forget.
- Is that true? - Hector: it was in korea.
Our first taste of real action.
We were all terrified.
A machine gun post had pinned us down.
Could have wiped out the whole regiment.
But Toad volunteered to go with me and destroy the bally thing.
All I managed to do was get myself knocked unconscious.
Toad went on- alone.
And blew the thing to smithereens, then he carried me back.
If he hadn't, none of us would be standing here today.
He got the military cross for his bravery.
It's a debt of honor, Archie.
Why didn't you tell us any of this before? I didn't want to talk about it.
I was one of the lucky ones.
Lots of our chums never came back.
I can get him out first thing in the morning.
One night, that's all I'm asking.
- All right, one night.
- Toad: oh, thank you.
- Thank you both.
- We'll organize four-hour watches.
Nobody gets into Glenbogle without my knowing it.
- West: Could be a long night.
- Grundy: Not for me.
Camped about all over the place when I was in the scouts.
I wouldn't be too quick to admit that back at the station.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
That old boy is definitely hiding something.
Hello.
Now you tell me there's nothing going on.
Thanks, by the way.
- What for? - For not kicking up more of a fuss about Toad.
I know you don't think the situation's ideal.
Let's keep it between ourselves then.
Don't want people to think I'm going soft.
Hmm, you're secret's safe with me.
In the meantime we have McCullen coming in the morning.
We start off by apologizing, obviously.
Eat a portion or two of humble pie and then hand it straight to the insurers.
Except we're not covered.
- What? - There's an exemption clause.
For "all antiquities and works of art which are not the absolute and sole property of the policy holder.
" You're joking? Mission accomplished, bacon or sausage? Surprise me.
I checked all the hotels within 20 miles.
Not a sniff.
Then it's even more likely that he's here.
We'll get the main road covered.
No one need know we're even about.
Still here, then? - Looks like it.
- You haven't caught who you were after.
We think we missed him in the search.
You know what we need is a man on the inside- with a ready eye and a keen brain.
Ideally somebody who once wanted to be a policeman themselves.
What would I have to do? We need to know how many men are here for that reunion.
- And who they are.
- Spy on Hector's friends? I couldn't do that.
He's done a lot for me.
- Now's your chance to pay him back.
- How's that? There's a strong possibility there's a dangerous felon in their midst.
A man with no conscience, capable of doing real harm.
You could help catch him - it would mean going deep undercover.
- Police issue.
- He'll have the cuffs on by lunch time.
I'm sorry, Arch.
You're not gonna hold it against me, are you? No, no, of course not.
Any thoughts? As far as I can see, I still think our best bet is to get it repaired- professionally, I mean.
There is another way.
Possibly.
You could accept personal liability.
Why don't I like the sound of that? Then if McCullen does want to make a claim, it would be against you and not the estate.
So I would end up paying? No thanks.
But you wouldn't.
Not unless you got a spare 20 grand kicking around.
What do you reckon, Archie? Uh - excuse me! Don't I get a say in this? What if I don't want to take the blame? I could never ask you to do that.
we'll just have to come clean.
It might not be as big a disaster as we think.
Wasn't that what they kept saying about the Millennium Dome? - Toad: All the best.
- Mate #1: Good luck.
Good luck, old son.
Right let's get this show on the road, shall we? Just missing one piece of vital equipment.
George.
- Toad! - au revoir, dear lady.
No, this time I think it's goodbye.
I do hope everything works out.
- Look after the old boy, won't you? - Somebody's got to.
What do you think? Stroke of genius? That's what I like about you, captain.
You always did know how to travel in style.
( all chuckle ) Got yourself a new hobby then? I just wanted a memento of the occasion.
( growls ) "Press button 'a' to open the film chamber.
" Done that.
"Insert film cassette.
" Duncan: "Carry end " left, left.
"Attach film end to 'b.
'" ( Duncan sighs ) Right.
"And close chamber.
" ( camera whirrs ) So far so good.
"Turn 'c' to advance film.
" Easy-peasy.
right ready for you.
( sighs ) Mr.
McCullen, just the man I wanted to see.
Before you say anything, I'd like to know why - I've been treated like a common criminal.
- Sorry? The policemen down by your bridge, they've had my car turned inside out.
I told them who I was but would they listen? - Where's father? - Just left.
Coffee? Then-if you all give me your names and addresses, then I can send you copies later.
Oh, perhaps or even one with the laird himself.
- I'm sure he wouldn't mind, - ( engine roars ) Not right now though, obviously.
( camera clicks ) A five-hour drive to stranraer.
Then I'll get you straight on the ferry, and you can train it from Dublin to Belfast.
- It should be plain sailing.
- That's what I like about you, you always were the master of faultless plan.
( both laughing ) Once you've got it, Toady, you never lose it.
- ( honking ) - It's Archie.
What's he playing at? Father, pull off the road.
Hector: Splendid, well done, Archie.
Fantastic diversionary tactic, ha ha! ( tires squealing ) - Hold it! - Both of you! - What do you want? - Grundy: Shut it.
I wonder what we might have in here.
- A gentleman's laundry is his own business.
- Humor us.
Sheets, shirts, socks and assorted unmentionables.
You expect us to believe you do your own washing? - My father's a very modern man.
- That's right.
I'm a wizard with a mangle.
We haven't got time for this.
Come on, out you get! Archie: Anything else we can help you with? You- looks like an open and shut case.
I still think we should wait for Archie.
I have no time.
I have to get "the Piper" properly packaged.
I've got a gala unveiling in Canada, next week.
So- shall we? The thing is, you see- you can't anticipate every eventuality, can you? What exactly is it you're talking about? Stella: Lexie! I don't think it needs the both of us to tell him.
Do you? He's a wily old fox, you've got to agree.
Toady! plan b, eh? Hold on a minute.
I'm sorry, Toad, but I think we've done all we can for you.
If Toad gets caught he'll spend the rest of his life in prison.
- It's a risk, but- - it's a risk I'm not prepared to take.
- There's police all over the place.
- If you make Toad leave, I'll walk down there and give myself up with him.
- Please, you don't mean that.
- Don't I? Toady, let's face this together.
No, no, wait, Archie's right.
I put your whole family in jeopardy.
That was wrong of me.
I should never have come back.
Nonsense, have you forgotten how much I owe you? That's just it.
You don't owe me anything.
You're too modest for your own good.
That's your trouble.
I'm no hero, Hector.
That's what I came here to tell you.
Call me old-fashioned, but as far as I am aware, they don't just hand out military crosses willy-nilly.
Will you let me finish? It was a mistake.
It should have been pinned on your chest, not mine.
He's only saying this to make you feel better.
I hope you realize that.
I'm not the brave one- if I was I would have come clean before now.
Heaven knows I've wanted to often enough.
What are you talking about? It was you that destroyed that machine gun.
I don't understand.
I was just decoy.
You were the one who got behind it with the grenade.
I've never seen such mettle.
I remember thinking, "he can't get any nearer.
" But you did! In the end, you got so close that the blast knocked you out.
I had to carry you back.
I was so worried you were dead.
And I never got the chance to tell you what had actually happened.
When you came around, of course, you couldn't remember a thing.
And so, somehow or other I ended up by taking the credit.
And the longer it went on the harder it was to own up to the truth.
Because you see, I rather enjoyed being "the hero of Halfway Hill.
" I've no right to ask anything of you.
Will you turn yourself in? Not if I can help it.
But, if things get rough, I'll just say I hid up here without your knowledge.
You've got my word.
Father- father.
McCullen screaming: For goodness sake, what have you done to this painting? - Grundy: well? - West: just tourists.
So what now, gov? Storm the castle? No, no.
We just sit tight.
Their luck's got to run out sometime.
- I've done it! - What? Ugh! What you asked me to.
There's six of them.
And I've got photographs.
I knew you were the man for the job.
Can we see them, the pictures? Dropped them at the chemists', get them back wednesday.
- I can't apologize enough.
- Can't do anything, if you ask me.
This painting was irreplaceable.
You knew that.
Did you - have it insured? - It's monetary value is of no consequence.
- So it was covered? - It's the historical significance.
Yes, of course, yes.
It's just that you- you did mention £20,000.
That's without loss of earnings.
It commands substantial higher fees.
Mr.
McCullen, we accept full responsibility.
I don't think you have a lot of choice in that regard.
You ought to put in a claim quickly.
"The piper" was in your possession, therefore, it is your responsibility.
The thing is, we don't think we're covered.
Just how incompetent are you people? I think it's time I called my solicitor.
- Lexie: I thought you'd gone.
- Slight change of plan.
They're on a bus trip from Edinburgh, off in five minutes and I thought I'd take my chances with them.
- Do you think you'll make it? - It's my only hope.
And the way I see it, they're hard pushed to search every vehicle.
So I'll keep my head down and keep my cool, eh? All the best then.
Thanks for everything.
What are you putting on that easel? It was supposed to be for a painting.
"The Proud Piper.
" You heard of it? Of course I have, regimental mascot - symbol of good fortune.
- Not for me, it wasn't.
- I only wish I'd seen it.
- Bring yourself some luck? - I'd like to take a closer look at it.
It's said to be a very impressive copy.
( whispers ) Copy.
I'll be frank with you.
The estate can't come up with that kind of cash.
- It could ruin us.
- Please, you'll have me in tears.
The bottom line is we all have a living to make.
Perhaps we could come to an arrangement? I'm not interested.
"The Proud Piper" was the last- was destroyed- in 1935.
What's this then? A figment of my imagination? A reproduction, which you no doubt well know, because your grandfather was one of those men who conspired to have that copy made.
- I resent that.
- And I resent someone who's never even worn a uniform, profiteering from the regiment like that.
Not only are you insulting the memory of the old cals, you're ripping off my friends.
- I think I know more about art than you do.
- Maybe.
But I've studied every detail of the history of my regiment.
And you're peddling a fake.
- Prove it.
- Lexie.
His cuff.
You have to look closely.
Well, that's what you do with paintings.
Toad: The artist has left us a wee clue- three red buttons- which were not introduced to the uniform until 150 years after the original "Proud Piper" was painted.
£20,000 you say it's worth? Yeah, I reckon £2- at the absolute most.
- You haven't heard he last of this.
- I think we probably have.
( honking, engine starts ) The coach.
You've missed it.
Yes, I know.
Anyway, it was long shot.
Archie: What are you gonna do? The roads'll be blocked.
- Surrender then.
- Lexie: you can't go to jail again.
- Not for something you didn't do.
- You could always appeal.
- Takes years.
- Lexie: what about Catherine? And your retirement? A nice dream but obviously not meant to be.
We'll just have to dream up a fiendishly inventive escape plan, - which is where my father comes in.
- Hector? Father, I've changed my mind.
I think with our help, Toad can still make it back to Marbella.
I won't pretend it's gonna be easy but I think it's worth a shot if we all pull together.
I understand.
He doesn't want to know.
And I don't blame him.
Hector: Did I say dismissed? I don't like deceit.
I don't like deception.
Never have, never will.
But I'll never turn my back on an old comrade.
Especially one who is as dear to me as you.
Thank you, captain.
Don't just stand there, round up the troops.
There are plans to be laid.
- Well done, Archie.
- I think it's the least we owe him.
Getting him out is going to be difficult.
the net is tightening as we speak.
I know, but it's not beyond the wit of a war hero to think of something.
They were down there yesterday.
They're not there now.
Golly: Wait a minute.
Out of my way, out! There they are.
Duncan: I still don't understand.
They are the police, aren't they? That's what they are, Duncan.
- And I was doing right to offer to help them? - Definitely.
But I'm not to anymore? Now you're catching on, son.
Right.
Couldn't we get into trouble for this though? That is beginning to look like a distinct possibility.
What's all this about, Mr.
McCullen? It's this escaped prisoner fellow.
He's in the house.
- Are you sure? - I was speaking to him yesterday.
Get on the radio.
We want as many men here as we can.
He's not slipping through my fingers now.
Duncan and Golly are here at the bridge.
Lexie, you'll be with Stella on the old road.
Aren't I the lucky one? The success of this whole mission relies on split-second timing.
- Does everybody know what they've got to do? - Molly: Absolutely.
- I wait at the north gate.
- And we're all up for it? - Wouldn't miss an adventure like this for the world.
- Well said, George.
- Archie, transpo laid on? - I've had to call in a few favors but it's all arranged.
Good boy! Golly, what's the news on the front line? Better get a move on, they're calling for reinforcements.
Right.
this is it.
Good luck, chaps.
Let's all try and come back in one piece.
- Toad: I shan't forget this, Archie.
- Nor will I.
And if it all goes well, I'll send you a piece of wedding cake.
If you do decide to get hitched up you better come and have your honeymoon with us.
Archie: Nice idea, Toad, but don't hold your breath.
I don't think you'll have to look too far for the right woman.
That's the least of my worries.
Golly, are you sure that Duncan knows what's at stake? I made it as clear as I can.
I told you we should have sent someone else.
- What's going on here then? - You were supposed to be telling us that.
Not that it matters anymore.
We found out all we need, thanks to Mr.
McCullen.
Yeah, sonny, if you'd- Duncan: You won't be wanting my information, then? One of the old soldier fellows from the castle.
He asked me- "is there a way of leaving the estate without being seen?" What did you tell him? I said, "that'd be tricky- with what you're wearing.
" - And what was that? - A bright yellow jacket.
But he didn't say when he'd be making his break? Oh, soon.
definitely.
( whispering ) Archie: There's the signal.
- Hector: Ready, George? - Just you try and stop me.
Go, number one! - Everyone's in position.
- Let's start moving in.
Wait, cancel that.
- there he is.
- the hare is on the move.
Repeat, the hare is on the move and coming your way, delta team.
Go, number two.
Hang on a minute.
There's another.
- And another.
- West: what do you want to do? Get them all grabbed.
One of them has got to be our man.
West to alpha and delta, west to alpha and delta, all are to be detained.
Repeat, all are to be detained.
Excuse me.
I hate to worry you.
There's a suspicious man in the field over there.
You can't miss him.
He's wearing a yellow anorak thingy.
I can manage this by myself, you know? I'll do my bit.
Think it'll earn you some brownie points from Archie? Remember, I've been here a lot longer than you.
Exactly.
He would have made his move by now if he was interested.
You want him, you've got a fight on your hands.
- Fair enough.
- ( car approaching ) Here we go.
Coo-ee! Yoo-hoo! Hello! Thanks goodness you're here, officer.
We seem to have broken down.
Out here - in the middle of nowhere.
All on our lonesomes.
Can't help you, I'm afraid.
We're on a manhunt.
Well, so are we.
( giggling ) I suppose I could spare 10 minutes.
Is anybody out there? Will somebody speak to me? That's the second time you've searched the place.
- We're not hiding anything.
- He was in there, I spoke to him.
Even your ranger says there's something funny going on.
That's the great thing about Duncan, a vivid imagination.
One of the reasons we employ him.
- Explain the yellow coats.
- This is the highlands, it rains a lot.
- Arrest him.
Make him talk.
- Mr.
McCullen, we both know this is a pathetic attempt to sully my family name.
- Why would that be? - An incident with a painting.
Perhaps you'd like to fill in the details, explain your little business enterprise.
Look- maybe I was mistaken.
So this is another wild-goose chase? Do you know what the penalty is for wasting police time? ( plane approaching ) If that will be all, gentlemen.
I do have an estate to run.
What's that? Archie: Sawmill? I want you to know how sorry I am.
Hector: No need for all that.
Let's get you on board.
This is for you.
And this is for Archie.
Open them later.
Thanks, bon voyage, Terry.
Goodbye, captain.
Goodbye.
Take care of yourself.
Mind how you go.
Don't fall in.
( Hector chuckles ) All the best.
Have a good trip.
Stop! Enemy approaching.
I'll hold them off as long as I can.
Stop that plane! I said, stop! You two are in a lot of trouble! - Why would that be? - Aiding and abetting the escape of a fugitive! Hector: Fugitive? - Did you see a fugitive? - No, definitely not.
How about you two? No, I didn't think so.
So- that's it.
That's it, indeed.
They've got no evidence.
They know it.
My two clever boys.
It was a team effort.
Well done, Dunc.
I told you I could do it, didn't I? I always had every- every faith in you.
Toad left this for you, Archie.
It's a check.
£2,000.
"To cover the cost of the painting, or be like 'the Piper' and blow it.
" What's that? His military cross.
So you've still got your sharp, tactical brain and now a medal to go with it.
How does it feel? It's friendships that are important, Molly.
Not gongs.
Night-night.
Good night, my darling.
( sighs ) Ah! ( theme music playing )
We went into the army as boys, green, callow; came out men, bold and bloody.
Now the regiment reunites just as we vowed, 50 years to the day.
The old squad, together again for the first time since the war.
- How many are coming? - Six.
- Six? - Molly: What happened to the rest? Eight were untraceable.
One one is living with a costume designer in Perth, calls herself Judith.
- Another is missing in Acton.
- Shouldn't that be action? No, Acton- suburb of London.
Five have moved overseas.
Two have joined religious orders.
Six haven't responded and 11 are no longer with us.
What about Toad? He hasn't croaked, has he? Hope not.
Hasn't RSVP'd.
- Toad? - Best man at our wedding.
You'd like him, Archie.
- They're coming up the drive.
- This is it.
Places, everyone.
( bagpipes playing ) Hector: I was captain to a fine body of soldiers, Archie.
Lean, clean- and mean, when we had to be.
( wracking coughs ) - Hector: there.
- ( coughs ) Did you ever see a more splendid sight? ( theme music playing ) May I have a moment, everyone? Um this is Mr.
Chris McCullen, the owner of what is undoubtedly the centerpiece of this exhibition.
For 24 hours, anyway.
- Mr.
McCullen.
- Thank you.
( applause ) "The Proud Piper" is a tribute to the courage of yourselves and your fellow old Caledonians.
- Hector: Hear, hear! - Soldiers: hear, hear.
And since the 1970 disbandment, I am honored that it has been in the possession of my family.
And you should be equally honored to have it here today.
Ladies and gentlemen- the regimental mascot, "the Proud Piper.
" - Hector: Splendid, bravo.
- ( clapping ) "The Proud Piper!" All: "The Proud Piper!" ( laughing ) Look at him- happy as a sandboy.
And the painting really is the icing on the cake.
It's a shame we can't keep it for longer than a day.
I mean you'd think for £500 we are lucky to have gotten Mr.
McCullen to hire it to us at all.
It's been in exhibitions all over the world, as he will tell you at great length, if you let him.
- Look out.
- Can I offer you a refill? I think I'll pass.
Not quite what I'm used to.
- George, this is my boy Archie.
- How do you do? - It's a real pleasure.
- This is Stella.
- Hi.
- ( suggestively ) Hello.
How long have you two been together? No, we're not- well, we are- but not as a couple.
I'm the estate's financial controller.
Oooh! handed over the baton, eh, Hector? Something like that.
George: All is going swimmingly, I take it? Stella: Started to.
we even made a small profit last month.
Not just a pretty face, eh? ( George chuckles ) I'm sure the future's in safe hands.
What do you say, Hector? To Stella and Archie! - What is it, darling? - Any news on Toad? No, I had hoped that the hero of Halfway Hill would be with us but - I hope nothing's happened to him.
Excellent vintage, George.
Good, there's stacks more in the Bentley.
Now then, what have we got to go with it? I hope you haven't put the cookhouse to too much trouble, Hector.
Corned beef hash and cabbage.
What do you think about that? - What's this then? - I don't believe it.
See? I told you they wouldn't like it.
Just wait till tomorrow, a real treat for youse - spam fritters.
( groaning ) It's a taste of the old days.
I thought that was what we were here for.
If only.
But the digestion's not what it was.
I've organized all the menus.
An army marches on its stomach.
And what did you always used to say? "A successful plan is a flexible plan"? It'll mean getting in fresh supplies.
I'll see what I can arrange.
Good man, Archie, and don't spare the expense.
- We can all chip in.
- Guests: hear, hear.
Aren't you going to eat something before you go? Actually, I don't think I will.
But then that's all the more for you, isn't it? You could see it today.
People take to Archie very quickly.
That's a rare quality.
Is that right? - Well in business I mean.
- Of course.
- Lexie: hiya.
- Hi.
We were just talking about you.
All good I hope.
I need the checkbook.
- What for? - Bit of a change on the catering front.
Less corned beef more cordon bleu.
I'm popping into town to see what I can pick up.
Don't worry- - we're not footing the whole bill.
- In that case, why don't I come with you? Two heads are better than one.
- Yeah, okay.
- Why don't I come with you? - It doesn't need all three of us.
- And I am paying for it.
- Who'll be doing the cooking? - Why don't you two just go together? There's plenty I could be doing here.
( laughing ) Now then, listen up, chaps.
I know you don't all want to be sitting around all day.
- ( laughter ) - Golly! - Tell them about the facilities.
- Do you have a sauna? - Sorry? - A sauna? - Afraid not.
- I couldn't manage without mine.
- A jacuzzi? - Golly: We're more a kind of outdoor activity style.
Shooting, fishing, hill walking.
But I could take you out in the loch, - or give you a tour of the estate.
- Uh-huh.
- There's no doubt in my mind.
- Yes, George? A brandy, a cigar and a good long think about it.
- Come on, lads.
- ( mates agree ) - Hector: Golly.
- Yes, boss? Stand easy.
Thanks, boss.
How long do you think you've got left, then? Before you move on? Are you trying to get rid of me? No, no! Just wondered.
Realistically, I could be gone in a couple of weeks.
Although I'd like to stay as long as Archie feels he needs me.
Lexie: He'll be lucky to get a lift out here.
- Pull over.
- Are you joking? He could be anyone.
And he might be stranded with a very long way to the next bus.
Pull over.
Now what are the chances of that happening? - What? - Me being offered a lift by two of the prettiest girls in the highlands.
Don't get too carried away.
It depends on where you're going.
But we can at least point you in the right direction.
Proper couple of angels you are.
Do you know the Glenbogle estate? It's your lucky day.
I hope so, lass.
( chuckles ) Is he all right, George? He's sure to be.
( snorts ) George: There you are, you see.
Rather partial to an afternoon nap, myself.
Least he's still with us.
Which reminds me, let's raise our glasses to those who aren't.
Our comrades who fell alongside us, and those chums who came through it but can't be with us today.
- Absent friends.
- All: Absent friends! - Wherever they may be! - All: Hear, hear.
Stranger: I can tell you where one of them is.
Ah, it's Toad! - George: Toad! - Who else? Toady! I can't believe it.
You got here.
- Did you ever doubt it? - Well done, old son.
Is that the lot? Yep, I think so.
What about that one? - Careful! - ( glass shatters ) ( Lexie screams ) Oh my the hero of Halfway Hill! - This must be your daughter? - Oh, stop it.
Give me a hug.
I knew you wouldn't miss an opportunity to meet up with your old friends.
Never mind about them, it's you I've come to see.
- Lexie, have you met? - Yeah, yeah, we have.
Have you got a minute? Oh dear, someone ought to fetch Archie.
- Stella: Someone already has.
- How did this happen? - It was an accident.
- We were trying to get cleared as quickly as possible.
- I don't think Lexie realized- - are you saying it's my fault? It's what Mr.
McCullen says that matters.
This is £20,000 worth of paintings, he was at great pains to mention more than once.
Can you do anything with it, Molly? I'll try.
Archie, you'd better take it up to my studio.
I'll need some scissors, tape - and some strong adhesive.
- Anything else? A miracle- if you can arrange it.
Archie: Hopefully, we're insured.
That was our silver wedding.
I wish you could have been there.
Not half as much as I do.
Molly is looking as pretty as ever.
She seems happy too, you must be doing something right, you old dog.
One tries one's best.
What about you? Did you ever take the long walk? - Up the aisle? - Ah, yes.
planning to.
Catherine, that's her name.
Delightful.
You must bring her up with you next time.
- No can do.
- You must.
We'd be delighted.
She's pretty much of a one-off, I'm afraid.
It was important that I saw you.
The fact is I shouldn't even be in the country.
- Hayfever? - No, no, no.
I meant "country" as in "this great nation.
" Officially, I'm on the lam.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
I have no truck with all this vegetarian nonsense.
No, no, no.
I did a runner.
- Runner? - Went over the wall.
- Whose wall? - Her Majesty's.
I've escaped from prison.
Good lord.
( chuckles ) Molly: How's that? - Lexie: Better.
- You can still see it.
Only if you look very closely.
But that's what you do with paintings.
Archie does know what he's talking about.
Molly: One last try then.
Come on.
( painting rips ) Oh- oh dear.
I always had a knack with the old explosives.
So when we all went our separate ways, I found a career that put my talents to good use.
- Demolition? - Safe-breaking.
- Precious stones mainly.
- Good lord! But it's a young man's game.
Eventually I got caught.
But not before I'd salted away enough for my retirement.
So I dug in and did my time.
Took it on the chin, I'll wager.
Wouldn't have expected anything less.
It wasn't enough for the old bill though.
Almost as soon as I got out, I got framed for a job that wasn't mine.
Ended up with another 10 years.
I made my break in '89, still with eight left to serve.
- Where have you been hiding? - Marbella.
I've got a lot of friends out there.
And now, of course there's - Catherine? - Yeah, that's the fella.
This is the first time I've been back.
It wasn't easy, but I couldn't let the old team down.
- Especially you, captain.
- Heck of a chance to take.
You know I've always remembered our pact to meet up.
And you know there are things that need to be said.
Last goodbyes, you mean? - Partly.
- But what if you get caught? Who's gonna know I'm here? Welcome to Glenbogle, historical home of the Clan MacDonald, with amenities now open to the public, including our new military exhibition, which will only be with us for a short while.
So if you'd like to go straight on up- thanks, but we're not here for sightseeing.
We heard a long-lost friend was in the area.
Ah, it will be the reunion then.
The old soldiers, they're having a get-together.
Worth checking out.
Got to be.
If you're going that way anyway, I could do you a deal on the tickets.
Let's say- half price? Thanks, but when you've got one of these you don't pay to get in anywhere.
This is Toad.
A more courageous man you'll never meet.
- Please.
- You wouldn't believe what he's gone through to get here.
We don't need to bore everyone with the details.
Suffice it to say I'm here.
And never has Glenbogle had a more welcome guest.
Pulled me out of many a scrape.
- Haven't we all? - Quite.
Toad, whatever you want, treat this place like home.
( knocking ) Sorry to interrupt but Duncan's on his way up the drive with a couple of fellows that have the definite look of the law about them.
Oh, mother, not more parking fines.
It must be a really extensive job, then.
It brings its own rewards.
Like getting to drive as fast as you can? I thought about joining the force myself, when I was younger.
- So what stopped you? - My mother.
She said there was already enough disgrace in the family.
Ah, here's our man.
- Archie, this is- - D.
S.
Grundy and D.
C.
West.
National Crime Squad.
- They're with the police.
- Yes, thank you, Duncan.
If there's anything else you need - just ask.
- We'll bear it in mind.
- So what can I do for you? - This man, have you seen him? Real name Terry McLean, aka Toady Mclntyre, aka Terry the Toff.
Notorious jewel thief- in his day.
Ugly boot, isn't he? Sorry, can't help you, can we? No.
This is my father.
Why don't you have a proper look? We are open to the public.
We get a lot of people wandering around here.
- But definitely not him.
- He's in the area and he's not camera-shy.
They caught him on video at Edinburgh airport, and at Inverness station.
Archie: That doesn't mean he's here, does it? He's also ex-army.
If you've got some sort of reunion going on- it's just a coincidence, isn't it? - Yes.
- So you won't mind- if we have a wander round? Duncan: I could show you around if you like.
Why don't you do that? Mmm.
Thanks for your support, by the way.
How do you mean? Trying to stir things up with Archie about what happened to the painting.
I was just telling it like it was.
Oh, please, you must think my mother knitted me.
What are you talking about? The way you keep trying to put me down.
You should hear yourself.
"Archie knows what he's talking about.
" And "I'll be here for as long as he feels he needs me.
" That doesn't mean anything.
It means you fancy him something rotten.
See? I'm right, aren't I? What's the matter, Lex? Afraid of a little competition? ( scoffs ) Molly: I simply cannot allow you in there.
- Why would that be? - ( toilet flushes ) Oh sorry, didn't realize there was a queue.
You could have just said.
All clear.
Duncan: The dining room's this way.
What's down here then? The kitchen.
Come on.
Duncan, Duncan.
- Molly: you've been this way before.
- Officer: I don't think so.
Ahhh ahh ah.
Ahh ah! - What is going on? - Toad's in the hole! He's hardly going to be in there, is he? What do you think? We've got him peeling potatoes? Let's just see.
Shall we? Right.
You see you have to get as much air in as possible.
That's the secret of very good meringue.
Hector: What my baked Alaska sadly lacks.
Oh, ah, hello, chaps.
Any luck? - Doesn't seem like it.
- Did try to tell you.
Are sure you don't want to search the whole estate? 35 and 1/2 thousand acres.
Start now, you might finish by Tuesday- that won't be necessary.
Which is the quickest way back to the car? Through here.
Sorry to have troubled you folks.
Okay? You can come out now.
( Hector laughs ) Well done, Lexie.
Terry, a small dram to celebrate? - Oh, aye.
- Archie: father? I think we need a word.
Molly: Toad, you're an outlaw.
How exciting.
Did you ever meet Mr.
Big- in the slammer, I mean? This isn't a movie, mother.
I'm sorry, Toad, we'd like to help but- and we will.
You'll stay as long as you like.
Stella: MacDonald family harbors escaped prisoner.
- How's that going to look? - What if he was wrongly convicted? - We've only got his word for it.
- Toad wouldn't lie, not to me.
Archie: The jury obviously seemed to think differently.
I'm sorry.
If he gets caught here, we could all end up behind bars.
- It wouldn't come to that.
- Stella: he's right.
Do you know what the penalty is for hiding a fugitive, Hector? - Just because you two played soldiers does not mean- - Hector: young lady! Ours was a friendship forged on a battlefield.
Giving him up would be like betraying a brother.
Can't you understand? - It's all right, captain.
- No, it's not! - This all happened a very long time ago.
- Yes, it did.
But when somebody saves your life, you tend not to forget.
- Is that true? - Hector: it was in korea.
Our first taste of real action.
We were all terrified.
A machine gun post had pinned us down.
Could have wiped out the whole regiment.
But Toad volunteered to go with me and destroy the bally thing.
All I managed to do was get myself knocked unconscious.
Toad went on- alone.
And blew the thing to smithereens, then he carried me back.
If he hadn't, none of us would be standing here today.
He got the military cross for his bravery.
It's a debt of honor, Archie.
Why didn't you tell us any of this before? I didn't want to talk about it.
I was one of the lucky ones.
Lots of our chums never came back.
I can get him out first thing in the morning.
One night, that's all I'm asking.
- All right, one night.
- Toad: oh, thank you.
- Thank you both.
- We'll organize four-hour watches.
Nobody gets into Glenbogle without my knowing it.
- West: Could be a long night.
- Grundy: Not for me.
Camped about all over the place when I was in the scouts.
I wouldn't be too quick to admit that back at the station.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
That old boy is definitely hiding something.
Hello.
Now you tell me there's nothing going on.
Thanks, by the way.
- What for? - For not kicking up more of a fuss about Toad.
I know you don't think the situation's ideal.
Let's keep it between ourselves then.
Don't want people to think I'm going soft.
Hmm, you're secret's safe with me.
In the meantime we have McCullen coming in the morning.
We start off by apologizing, obviously.
Eat a portion or two of humble pie and then hand it straight to the insurers.
Except we're not covered.
- What? - There's an exemption clause.
For "all antiquities and works of art which are not the absolute and sole property of the policy holder.
" You're joking? Mission accomplished, bacon or sausage? Surprise me.
I checked all the hotels within 20 miles.
Not a sniff.
Then it's even more likely that he's here.
We'll get the main road covered.
No one need know we're even about.
Still here, then? - Looks like it.
- You haven't caught who you were after.
We think we missed him in the search.
You know what we need is a man on the inside- with a ready eye and a keen brain.
Ideally somebody who once wanted to be a policeman themselves.
What would I have to do? We need to know how many men are here for that reunion.
- And who they are.
- Spy on Hector's friends? I couldn't do that.
He's done a lot for me.
- Now's your chance to pay him back.
- How's that? There's a strong possibility there's a dangerous felon in their midst.
A man with no conscience, capable of doing real harm.
You could help catch him - it would mean going deep undercover.
- Police issue.
- He'll have the cuffs on by lunch time.
I'm sorry, Arch.
You're not gonna hold it against me, are you? No, no, of course not.
Any thoughts? As far as I can see, I still think our best bet is to get it repaired- professionally, I mean.
There is another way.
Possibly.
You could accept personal liability.
Why don't I like the sound of that? Then if McCullen does want to make a claim, it would be against you and not the estate.
So I would end up paying? No thanks.
But you wouldn't.
Not unless you got a spare 20 grand kicking around.
What do you reckon, Archie? Uh - excuse me! Don't I get a say in this? What if I don't want to take the blame? I could never ask you to do that.
we'll just have to come clean.
It might not be as big a disaster as we think.
Wasn't that what they kept saying about the Millennium Dome? - Toad: All the best.
- Mate #1: Good luck.
Good luck, old son.
Right let's get this show on the road, shall we? Just missing one piece of vital equipment.
George.
- Toad! - au revoir, dear lady.
No, this time I think it's goodbye.
I do hope everything works out.
- Look after the old boy, won't you? - Somebody's got to.
What do you think? Stroke of genius? That's what I like about you, captain.
You always did know how to travel in style.
( all chuckle ) Got yourself a new hobby then? I just wanted a memento of the occasion.
( growls ) "Press button 'a' to open the film chamber.
" Done that.
"Insert film cassette.
" Duncan: "Carry end " left, left.
"Attach film end to 'b.
'" ( Duncan sighs ) Right.
"And close chamber.
" ( camera whirrs ) So far so good.
"Turn 'c' to advance film.
" Easy-peasy.
right ready for you.
( sighs ) Mr.
McCullen, just the man I wanted to see.
Before you say anything, I'd like to know why - I've been treated like a common criminal.
- Sorry? The policemen down by your bridge, they've had my car turned inside out.
I told them who I was but would they listen? - Where's father? - Just left.
Coffee? Then-if you all give me your names and addresses, then I can send you copies later.
Oh, perhaps or even one with the laird himself.
- I'm sure he wouldn't mind, - ( engine roars ) Not right now though, obviously.
( camera clicks ) A five-hour drive to stranraer.
Then I'll get you straight on the ferry, and you can train it from Dublin to Belfast.
- It should be plain sailing.
- That's what I like about you, you always were the master of faultless plan.
( both laughing ) Once you've got it, Toady, you never lose it.
- ( honking ) - It's Archie.
What's he playing at? Father, pull off the road.
Hector: Splendid, well done, Archie.
Fantastic diversionary tactic, ha ha! ( tires squealing ) - Hold it! - Both of you! - What do you want? - Grundy: Shut it.
I wonder what we might have in here.
- A gentleman's laundry is his own business.
- Humor us.
Sheets, shirts, socks and assorted unmentionables.
You expect us to believe you do your own washing? - My father's a very modern man.
- That's right.
I'm a wizard with a mangle.
We haven't got time for this.
Come on, out you get! Archie: Anything else we can help you with? You- looks like an open and shut case.
I still think we should wait for Archie.
I have no time.
I have to get "the Piper" properly packaged.
I've got a gala unveiling in Canada, next week.
So- shall we? The thing is, you see- you can't anticipate every eventuality, can you? What exactly is it you're talking about? Stella: Lexie! I don't think it needs the both of us to tell him.
Do you? He's a wily old fox, you've got to agree.
Toady! plan b, eh? Hold on a minute.
I'm sorry, Toad, but I think we've done all we can for you.
If Toad gets caught he'll spend the rest of his life in prison.
- It's a risk, but- - it's a risk I'm not prepared to take.
- There's police all over the place.
- If you make Toad leave, I'll walk down there and give myself up with him.
- Please, you don't mean that.
- Don't I? Toady, let's face this together.
No, no, wait, Archie's right.
I put your whole family in jeopardy.
That was wrong of me.
I should never have come back.
Nonsense, have you forgotten how much I owe you? That's just it.
You don't owe me anything.
You're too modest for your own good.
That's your trouble.
I'm no hero, Hector.
That's what I came here to tell you.
Call me old-fashioned, but as far as I am aware, they don't just hand out military crosses willy-nilly.
Will you let me finish? It was a mistake.
It should have been pinned on your chest, not mine.
He's only saying this to make you feel better.
I hope you realize that.
I'm not the brave one- if I was I would have come clean before now.
Heaven knows I've wanted to often enough.
What are you talking about? It was you that destroyed that machine gun.
I don't understand.
I was just decoy.
You were the one who got behind it with the grenade.
I've never seen such mettle.
I remember thinking, "he can't get any nearer.
" But you did! In the end, you got so close that the blast knocked you out.
I had to carry you back.
I was so worried you were dead.
And I never got the chance to tell you what had actually happened.
When you came around, of course, you couldn't remember a thing.
And so, somehow or other I ended up by taking the credit.
And the longer it went on the harder it was to own up to the truth.
Because you see, I rather enjoyed being "the hero of Halfway Hill.
" I've no right to ask anything of you.
Will you turn yourself in? Not if I can help it.
But, if things get rough, I'll just say I hid up here without your knowledge.
You've got my word.
Father- father.
McCullen screaming: For goodness sake, what have you done to this painting? - Grundy: well? - West: just tourists.
So what now, gov? Storm the castle? No, no.
We just sit tight.
Their luck's got to run out sometime.
- I've done it! - What? Ugh! What you asked me to.
There's six of them.
And I've got photographs.
I knew you were the man for the job.
Can we see them, the pictures? Dropped them at the chemists', get them back wednesday.
- I can't apologize enough.
- Can't do anything, if you ask me.
This painting was irreplaceable.
You knew that.
Did you - have it insured? - It's monetary value is of no consequence.
- So it was covered? - It's the historical significance.
Yes, of course, yes.
It's just that you- you did mention £20,000.
That's without loss of earnings.
It commands substantial higher fees.
Mr.
McCullen, we accept full responsibility.
I don't think you have a lot of choice in that regard.
You ought to put in a claim quickly.
"The piper" was in your possession, therefore, it is your responsibility.
The thing is, we don't think we're covered.
Just how incompetent are you people? I think it's time I called my solicitor.
- Lexie: I thought you'd gone.
- Slight change of plan.
They're on a bus trip from Edinburgh, off in five minutes and I thought I'd take my chances with them.
- Do you think you'll make it? - It's my only hope.
And the way I see it, they're hard pushed to search every vehicle.
So I'll keep my head down and keep my cool, eh? All the best then.
Thanks for everything.
What are you putting on that easel? It was supposed to be for a painting.
"The Proud Piper.
" You heard of it? Of course I have, regimental mascot - symbol of good fortune.
- Not for me, it wasn't.
- I only wish I'd seen it.
- Bring yourself some luck? - I'd like to take a closer look at it.
It's said to be a very impressive copy.
( whispers ) Copy.
I'll be frank with you.
The estate can't come up with that kind of cash.
- It could ruin us.
- Please, you'll have me in tears.
The bottom line is we all have a living to make.
Perhaps we could come to an arrangement? I'm not interested.
"The Proud Piper" was the last- was destroyed- in 1935.
What's this then? A figment of my imagination? A reproduction, which you no doubt well know, because your grandfather was one of those men who conspired to have that copy made.
- I resent that.
- And I resent someone who's never even worn a uniform, profiteering from the regiment like that.
Not only are you insulting the memory of the old cals, you're ripping off my friends.
- I think I know more about art than you do.
- Maybe.
But I've studied every detail of the history of my regiment.
And you're peddling a fake.
- Prove it.
- Lexie.
His cuff.
You have to look closely.
Well, that's what you do with paintings.
Toad: The artist has left us a wee clue- three red buttons- which were not introduced to the uniform until 150 years after the original "Proud Piper" was painted.
£20,000 you say it's worth? Yeah, I reckon £2- at the absolute most.
- You haven't heard he last of this.
- I think we probably have.
( honking, engine starts ) The coach.
You've missed it.
Yes, I know.
Anyway, it was long shot.
Archie: What are you gonna do? The roads'll be blocked.
- Surrender then.
- Lexie: you can't go to jail again.
- Not for something you didn't do.
- You could always appeal.
- Takes years.
- Lexie: what about Catherine? And your retirement? A nice dream but obviously not meant to be.
We'll just have to dream up a fiendishly inventive escape plan, - which is where my father comes in.
- Hector? Father, I've changed my mind.
I think with our help, Toad can still make it back to Marbella.
I won't pretend it's gonna be easy but I think it's worth a shot if we all pull together.
I understand.
He doesn't want to know.
And I don't blame him.
Hector: Did I say dismissed? I don't like deceit.
I don't like deception.
Never have, never will.
But I'll never turn my back on an old comrade.
Especially one who is as dear to me as you.
Thank you, captain.
Don't just stand there, round up the troops.
There are plans to be laid.
- Well done, Archie.
- I think it's the least we owe him.
Getting him out is going to be difficult.
the net is tightening as we speak.
I know, but it's not beyond the wit of a war hero to think of something.
They were down there yesterday.
They're not there now.
Golly: Wait a minute.
Out of my way, out! There they are.
Duncan: I still don't understand.
They are the police, aren't they? That's what they are, Duncan.
- And I was doing right to offer to help them? - Definitely.
But I'm not to anymore? Now you're catching on, son.
Right.
Couldn't we get into trouble for this though? That is beginning to look like a distinct possibility.
What's all this about, Mr.
McCullen? It's this escaped prisoner fellow.
He's in the house.
- Are you sure? - I was speaking to him yesterday.
Get on the radio.
We want as many men here as we can.
He's not slipping through my fingers now.
Duncan and Golly are here at the bridge.
Lexie, you'll be with Stella on the old road.
Aren't I the lucky one? The success of this whole mission relies on split-second timing.
- Does everybody know what they've got to do? - Molly: Absolutely.
- I wait at the north gate.
- And we're all up for it? - Wouldn't miss an adventure like this for the world.
- Well said, George.
- Archie, transpo laid on? - I've had to call in a few favors but it's all arranged.
Good boy! Golly, what's the news on the front line? Better get a move on, they're calling for reinforcements.
Right.
this is it.
Good luck, chaps.
Let's all try and come back in one piece.
- Toad: I shan't forget this, Archie.
- Nor will I.
And if it all goes well, I'll send you a piece of wedding cake.
If you do decide to get hitched up you better come and have your honeymoon with us.
Archie: Nice idea, Toad, but don't hold your breath.
I don't think you'll have to look too far for the right woman.
That's the least of my worries.
Golly, are you sure that Duncan knows what's at stake? I made it as clear as I can.
I told you we should have sent someone else.
- What's going on here then? - You were supposed to be telling us that.
Not that it matters anymore.
We found out all we need, thanks to Mr.
McCullen.
Yeah, sonny, if you'd- Duncan: You won't be wanting my information, then? One of the old soldier fellows from the castle.
He asked me- "is there a way of leaving the estate without being seen?" What did you tell him? I said, "that'd be tricky- with what you're wearing.
" - And what was that? - A bright yellow jacket.
But he didn't say when he'd be making his break? Oh, soon.
definitely.
( whispering ) Archie: There's the signal.
- Hector: Ready, George? - Just you try and stop me.
Go, number one! - Everyone's in position.
- Let's start moving in.
Wait, cancel that.
- there he is.
- the hare is on the move.
Repeat, the hare is on the move and coming your way, delta team.
Go, number two.
Hang on a minute.
There's another.
- And another.
- West: what do you want to do? Get them all grabbed.
One of them has got to be our man.
West to alpha and delta, west to alpha and delta, all are to be detained.
Repeat, all are to be detained.
Excuse me.
I hate to worry you.
There's a suspicious man in the field over there.
You can't miss him.
He's wearing a yellow anorak thingy.
I can manage this by myself, you know? I'll do my bit.
Think it'll earn you some brownie points from Archie? Remember, I've been here a lot longer than you.
Exactly.
He would have made his move by now if he was interested.
You want him, you've got a fight on your hands.
- Fair enough.
- ( car approaching ) Here we go.
Coo-ee! Yoo-hoo! Hello! Thanks goodness you're here, officer.
We seem to have broken down.
Out here - in the middle of nowhere.
All on our lonesomes.
Can't help you, I'm afraid.
We're on a manhunt.
Well, so are we.
( giggling ) I suppose I could spare 10 minutes.
Is anybody out there? Will somebody speak to me? That's the second time you've searched the place.
- We're not hiding anything.
- He was in there, I spoke to him.
Even your ranger says there's something funny going on.
That's the great thing about Duncan, a vivid imagination.
One of the reasons we employ him.
- Explain the yellow coats.
- This is the highlands, it rains a lot.
- Arrest him.
Make him talk.
- Mr.
McCullen, we both know this is a pathetic attempt to sully my family name.
- Why would that be? - An incident with a painting.
Perhaps you'd like to fill in the details, explain your little business enterprise.
Look- maybe I was mistaken.
So this is another wild-goose chase? Do you know what the penalty is for wasting police time? ( plane approaching ) If that will be all, gentlemen.
I do have an estate to run.
What's that? Archie: Sawmill? I want you to know how sorry I am.
Hector: No need for all that.
Let's get you on board.
This is for you.
And this is for Archie.
Open them later.
Thanks, bon voyage, Terry.
Goodbye, captain.
Goodbye.
Take care of yourself.
Mind how you go.
Don't fall in.
( Hector chuckles ) All the best.
Have a good trip.
Stop! Enemy approaching.
I'll hold them off as long as I can.
Stop that plane! I said, stop! You two are in a lot of trouble! - Why would that be? - Aiding and abetting the escape of a fugitive! Hector: Fugitive? - Did you see a fugitive? - No, definitely not.
How about you two? No, I didn't think so.
So- that's it.
That's it, indeed.
They've got no evidence.
They know it.
My two clever boys.
It was a team effort.
Well done, Dunc.
I told you I could do it, didn't I? I always had every- every faith in you.
Toad left this for you, Archie.
It's a check.
£2,000.
"To cover the cost of the painting, or be like 'the Piper' and blow it.
" What's that? His military cross.
So you've still got your sharp, tactical brain and now a medal to go with it.
How does it feel? It's friendships that are important, Molly.
Not gongs.
Night-night.
Good night, my darling.
( sighs ) Ah! ( theme music playing )