Monsters vs. Aliens (2013) s01e23 Episode Script

Screaming Your Calls

MVA MVA Monsters vs.
Aliens It's us vs.
them Foe vs.
friend Brain vs.
It's a super-freaky job Oh, yeah, it's freaky.
MVA Monsters vs.
Aliens Monsters vs.
Aliens [cackles] Monsters vs.
Aliens MVA 1x38 - Debtor Alive! Yes! Fish man needs his muscle fuel.
What? That was my last dollar! [grunting] All right.
No way! Come on you dumb Ah! Wait.
I can solve this with my intellect.
[whirring] Got me a mind like Einstein.
- Peculiar.
- Keep moving, kid.
This is between me and the vendo-thief.
If you require snack funds, I can loan you some Earth currency.
See? Oink oink.
That's adorable, but I wouldn't feel right borrowing from your little kid allowance.
Do not worry.
My planet's money is worth more on Earth.
Current Mr.
Piggy savings are estimated at $4 quadrillion.
[exclaims] Guys! Piggybank! Moolah! Allowance! Vending! Alien dineros! Snacks everywhere! Whoa! [belches] Thanks, B.
Now, you were calmly saying? Sqweep's a quadro-gagillionaire.
We're stinking rich! Nope.
Not in B.
's house.
I don't trust this money.
People are always high-falutin' around with their money.
Not for me.
That's why I pay for everything in B.
Here, Link.
Buy yourself something nice.
Oh, come on.
Take it off.
My my massive lats are in the way.
Hmm, how shall I get my evil on today? Hmm? Fudgie budgies.
Mine! [slurps] Don't get any ideas, Link.
Sqweep is stinking rich, not us, so no crazy "Linky likey" schemes.
Suze, I would never even for $4 quadrillion.
[screams] [cash register dings] $4 quadrillion? That level of funding could finance some fantastically posh evil-doing.
[cackles] And I'm such a posh evil-doer.
[laughs] [gobbles] Child, give me $10 million.
Oh, you wish to borrow currency too, Coverton? Um, yes.
I wish to "borrow," and I "promise" I will "pay it back.
" [snickers] - Are you engaging in sarcasm? - Mm, uh - "no.
" - Okay.
[buttons beeping] [cash register dings] Mine! [laughs] Borrowing from a kiddie bank, bread-head? Coverton's got to eat.
Well, I am shocked, shocked and appalled by your Here's the $10 mil you asked to borrow, Link.
The Link's got to eat too, you see.
[hip-hop music] # Yeah # yo yeah yo yo check it out yo! [electric guitar chord blaring] [laughing evilly] yeah yo yeah yo check it out yo yeah yo yeah Oh, yeah.
Linky likey.
Hey, who's blocking Buds! Allow me to welcome you to the relaxing shores of Isla de link.
[purrs] - You bought an island? - Yeah, buddy! Looked a lot bigger in the brochure, but it was way expensive.
Even came with a baby volcano.
Check it.
[laughing] What happened to "no crazy schemes"? Indeed.
At least when Susan and I borrowed money, it was for sound investment opportunities.
Don't get all up in the Wait a minute.
You guys hit up the piggy too? Yeah, but not for crazy things.
I just needed a little start-up cash for my bedazzled cupcake bakery.
Ta-da! Get some glitter in your belly.
It's a really underserved market.
And I purchased the world's oldest chunk of discarded refuse, which will only grow in value Mm, provided I don't eat it.
Well, looks like we should all be ashamed of ourselves.
Or not.
I'm cool.
Attention, personnel.
Incoming alien craft.
Emergency arrival procedures ASAP! Eyes on the skies, men.
Bogey is on a direct course for our Earth-lovin' patooties.
Whatever comes out, you go fast and you go hard [whispers] It's behind you.
[screams] Oh my Momma-Monger! Bubblegum greetings.
On behalf of Epsilon-11's management, I am Pip.
What in the hoo-hah is a Pip? I am.
I just said it.
I am Pip.
He's my financial planner.
My card.
Scratchy, scratchy, sniff.
[sniffing] Yuck! Pip manages my allowance and piggybank accounts.
- Business hugs? - Business hugs.
Well, I was expecting an invasion.
And, frankly, I am disappointed.
- Come on, men.
- Sir, shouldn't we stay Keep moving.
I owe the kid a benjamin.
I have come for the joyous task of collecting the loanings you owe my client.
Say it with me now.
"Hooray for interest!" Uh, did um, d [all muttering] I mean, I didn't think we'd have to do that this soon.
Yeah, I'm still kind of perfecting my glitter-to-batter ratio.
Yeah, and Isla de Link [purrs] is gonna have chief exports any day now.
Whatever those are.
I ate my investment.
[belches] No regrets.
I do not understand.
You cannot pay me back? For shame! Ow! Oh, do not fret, client.
Let old Pip unfuffle this lending kerfuffle.
- Go on.
- [brightly] Oh, okay.
Suze, he said "skedaddle.
" Pretty sure we can take him.
Since you cannot pay your debt, I regret that I must now cheerfully repossess your commodities for sale at the galactic marketplace.
The amphibian man's gravity will sell for oodles.
Flee! Flee! [all yelling] Wait up.
Ow! Ow! Hey! What the hey is the galactic marketplace? An alien outpost that resells unusual and intangible items.
Anything can be bought there.
- But who would buy Link's gravity? - The Helium Noids of Toi.
Don't worry, guys.
I've already got the perfect plan to get us out of this mess.
Ah! Such focused concentration.
I'll take that.
Concentration? There's no way you can take Oh, shiny.
[all scream] [laughs] Susan! Okay, trash is awesome, but this is no time for Whoa.
This is shiny.
Susan, focus.
You must use all of your willpower - to concentrate.
- Right.
Concentrating now.
Sorry, guys.
It's hard to concentrate on controlling my pow Whoo! Whoo-hoo! Oh, let's ride the Susan coaster again! Wait a sec.
The receipt for le Isla de Link! - So? - So I tossed the receipts for everything I bought.
Maybe if we find them, we can return our stuff and pay back Pip.
Hurry, chaps! Excavate and extricate our salvation.
Oh, good idea.
And I'll keep a lookout.
Nothing gets past my eye.
[both babble] Impressive vocabulary.
I'll take that.
Faffle gopple? Floppity.
Floppity floo floo floo.
Ooh, the Loquations of planetoid Verbia will spendy-spend for this.
Not again! [gasps] - What have you taken from Coverton? - Only your dignity.
- I'm humiliating me.
- Oh, my gosh, levers! [babbling] Guys, these levers make really funny word sounds when I pull them.
[babbling] [screams] Quick! Stop me from posting this to my profile.
Upload complete.
Floognog! Still no sign of him.
Coast is clear, guys.
Gut, don't fail me now.
[belching] Listen up, you little swindler.
This all started 'cause of me, so if you're looking for payback, you can take it from the fish man.
You are nobly offering more personal commodities - as payment? - My modesty alone is probably worth a fortune, 'cause it's the best.
So go on and ow! - What is this? - Oh, that's just a B.
Shh! Don't-ay tell-ay him-ay about-ay my fortune-ay, okay-ay? - You possess fortune? - Who told? Well, this unfuffles everything.
If you transfer this fortune to me, - all debts are happily repaid.
- Nah, I'm good.
[warbling] [screams] [laughs] Okay, you know what? My friends are worth more than money.
You got a deal, blue squeak.
Do you accept checks? [laughs] Words.
Valued client, your account is repaid.
Thank you for choosing Epsilon allowance management for all your piggybanking needs.
- Business hugs.
- Business hugs.
Bye, Pip.
Love you.
Well, that was easy.
Yeah, except now you got to pay my financial planner.
Ah! [snarls] 1x39 - The Grade That Wouldn't Pass! Dr.
Cockroach, I request your assistance.
My Earth studies assignment is to profile an Earth scientist.
Ah, come to learn at the feet of the master, - eh, Sqweep? - Well, actually Splendid.
Prepare to be awestruck.
[sniffs] [electricity crackling] [laughs] [computer buttons beeping] Finally, a test tube of oxidizer.
Ho hum.
Not much to see here.
But hello, sugar cube.
Now, that's science mad science! [cackles] [coughs] - Sorry.
The washroom is over there.
- Thank you.
No, Herbert.
Sqweep's inevitable gushing will just embarrass you.
Pfft! Embarrassment.
"Simplistic crude clearly more mad than scientist.
" Why, that little delete, delete.
"Visionary breathtaking in his genius an inspiration to young minds across the galaxy.
" That should be sufficient.
Thank you again, Dr.
- I owe my grade to you.
- Yes, child, you do.
, no.
Just no.
Skinny jeans on a I just no, B.
, no.
[screams] What's all this, then? [screaming] Sqweep, what's wrong? Ooh! What's that thing? [screaming] Listen, when I remove my hand, you stop with the screeching and the running and the whatnot, deal? - That is a zrob minus.
- Splendid.
It is the lowest possible grade in the galaxy.
Lowest possible grade? Yes, I got it for my report on Dr.
I don't understand how this happened.
I get good grades.
It's what I do.
Without good grades, what am I? No idea.
Oh, well.
Chin up, and try harder next time.
Oh, Sqweep, you're a good kid.
Don't base your self-worth on one bad grade.
Easy for you to say.
Your grades weren't exactly perfect.
One "A minus" in woodshop! And Mr.
Holtziter had it out for me because my birdhouse was prettier than his! Booty quake, triple points.
This kind of humiliation will not stand! I want to know who uploaded my shakin' and quakin' booty - to every screen on this base.
- Totes wasn't me.
Okay, it totes was.
But everybody loves it.
- You've gone viral, big boy.
- And I need a cure! Sqweep, I want you to step up our cyber security.
And Dr.
Cockroach, I'd like [sad, dissonant twanging] Sqweep! You mind? I'm trying to conduct a meeting here.
I reiterate.
Sqweep's so bummed.
It's kind of bumming me out too.
It's gotta be something we can do.
Well, whenever I feel sad, I sing la la la la la until I can't remember what I was feeling sad about.
Like this.
la la la la la la la la la la la la la See? I can't remember what I was sad about.
Or anything else.
- That's great, B.
- Who? You've been unusually quiet on the subject, Dr.
- Any thoughts? - Yes.
Well, I I did it! I tinkered with Sqweep's report.
I brought shame on the good name "Cockroach"! What? Dr.
C, that's terrible! You've got to do something.
Like change your last name.
What? I'm trying to help here.
No, Link.
There's only one thing to do.
la la la la la la, la la la Or you could apologize to Sqweep for what you did.
Ah, yes, we could try that.
Hello? Sqweep? Remember your report about me? The zrob minus one? Well, funny story.
You'll laugh.
I Sqweep? [computer buzzing] Sqweep, you have yet to complete your science quiz.
Also, I remind you that "whatevs" is not an acceptable answer.
Failure to pass will result in expulsion from Earth.
Ah! You can't find Sqweep anywhere? No, and I fear time is running out for the quiz.
Fate is forcing my hand.
You guys keep looking.
I'll take the test for Sqweep.
Right idea, wrong person.
Come on.
Heavens, no, I haven't seen Sqweep anywhere.
Of course I'll help you find the dear child soon as my mani-pedi is finished.
Might take a while.
Could you stop with the toes? Ugh.
Ugh! No, I've not seen Sqweep.
But I will hunt the shameful quitter to the ends of this Earth! Staaaaaaa'abi! The answer is most certainly the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
Ten for ten! Whoo! Simplistic and crude indeed.
Next question, please.
Human scientists believe the Earth's core is comprised of iron, nickel, and other trace elements.
Yes, we do.
Clever humans.
But we aliens know the core is actually composed of what material? It's not iron, nickel, and other trace elements? May I take a potty break? Test paused.
You have one minute.
Uh, it's a number seven.
You have one hour.
- Any luck? - Not yet.
But no worries, Link.
Sta'abi is on the case.
[yells] The disgraceful delinquent is not in the air ducts.
Little Sqweep thinks hiding outside the base will stop Sta'abi.
Little Sqweep is wrong.
[whistles] [Susan grunting] Staaaaaaa'abi! You turned Sta'abi loose on Sqweep? I know.
I know.
Would help if I said Sorry! Okay, all right.
It's mostly a mess, but I do like the couch better over there.
- Oh, agreed.
So Feng Shui.
- Right? Ah! Uh! Ooh! It's a compact, but it handles like a tank.
And why are you handling it? Sqweep's quiz claims the Earth has a mystery element at its core, but I haven't the faintest idea what that could be.
Think about it.
At the center of every sweet candy is nougat, and Earth is the sweetest planet.
- Ergo, nougat.
- That's a good guess, B.
Uh, yes, but Sqweeb's quiz demands more than guesswork.
With the child still missing, the only way to solve this mystery is to go to the center of the Earth! [crashing] Sorry! Greetings, little fail-ien.
Doc, speak to me.
What do you see? Mostly brown, sometimes dark brown.
- I miss you! Bring me a present! - You're pretty far down.
You should be coming up on the core any minute.
Yeah, at the same time, tick tock.
Better step on the gas.
Going quite fast now, really m oof! Moof? I seem to have found the core, and it appears to be nickel, iron, and other trace elements.
- Could Sqweep's people be wrong? - And what do we put on the quiz? - I haven't the faintest idea.
- Guys, you're overlooking the obvious.
What if there's something in the center of the center? It's worth a try.
To the center of the center.
Yes, I'm breaking through.
And there is something in the core.
- What? - Oh What is it? It's it I think it's nougat.
- Susan and Link: Nougat? - B.
for the win.
[nougat gurgling] Mmm, yes, definitely nougat.
Rich, creamy, quite delicious, in fact, though it makes not a whit of scientific sense.
[computer beeping] Resume test.
What is the composition of the Earth's core? The answer is nougat? Correct.
Perfect score.
[all cheer] Found your shameful quitter.
Oh, no.
Sta'abi, tell me you didn't Didn't what? Vornicarn, spit out the quitter.
Whatevs? - Precisely.
- Wait, Sqweep.
You may have called it quits, but you should know that Dr.
C literally went to the center of the Earth for you.
- He did? - Yes.
And I'm afraid that has proven to be a rather sticky wicket for me.
I'm trapped in the nougat.
[gasps] Losing oxygen.
Not if mad science has anything to say about it.
Nougat is high in sugar content.
Oxidizer away! [rumbling] I will now suggest everyone duck and cover.
Ah! [screams] Stardate Ah! Uh! Ugh.
So, you see, the whole ugly affair was my fault.
Please don't penalize Sqweep.
Sqweep, your perfect record is reinstated.
You may continue your Earth studies.
Hugs! Hugs! Thank you for your honesty.
Of course.
Just one last thing.
I accept the Earth's center is nougat.
But my question is, why is the Earth's center nougat? Oh, the Prankinoids of Arcon-5 put that there eons ago.
- Prankinoids? - Yes.
You should see what those jokers did to your Moon.
There's a reason it looks like Swiss cheese.