Moonlighting s02e07 Episode Script

Somewhere Under the Rainbow

MOONLIGHTING This has never happened to me before.
No, that's happened to me before.
A lady walking up to me in a bar and saying what you said That's never happened to me before.
Well, I've never done that before.
Any chance that I can see you again? As I told you, tomorrow I have to give up all my worldly pleasures all the worldly things.
Yeah.
Okay.
But I don't know what that means.
Are you gonna become a nun or? Are you gonna die? Can I at least know your name? No.
This has never happened to me before.
Well, glory be.
I think it's going to happen again.
Give it to me.
You best leave.
Give it to me.
Oh, I hate this.
I hate this.
What are you? What are you? - The husband? The father? - Leave or harm will come to you.
I said, give it to me! This has never really happened to me before.
Look, I'm going.
Okay? I warned you.
May all the unblessed spirits of the night run wild Hear the wail of the banshee And the devil come And claim your soul This man is dead.
I think we should do something.
Ich am of Irlonde And of the holy londe Of Irlonde Goode sir, praye ich For the sainte charitee Com and dance with me And Irlonde Well It has been fun.
This has never happened to me before.
- Sometimes it's scary how smart I am.
- How what you are? Sitting in my office, 9:45, trying to figure out where to lunch.
- Why doesn't that surprise me? - I think, "There are guys like you all over.
Overworked, overstressed, executive types all cooking their brains over the same decisions.
" It occurs to me, wouldn't it be great if someone could make choices for you? Not just where to go or what to eat, but skull-busters like: "What tie goes with what shirt.
Send a check for her wedding - or get something?" - I don't remember saying, "Come in.
" I'm possessed.
I can't get this notion out of my mind.
I've stumbled across an untapped market.
A need waiting to be filled.
But how to fill it? Then it hits me.
- Thank God.
- The solution to this is a mother.
- Watch your language.
- Not a "mutha.
" A mother.
Everybody has one, loves them, but can't stand to be around them.
Why? Because they nag.
Where to go.
What to do.
What shirt to wear, what tie.
What to get.
I know there's a point in there.
Don't you see? Don't you get it? Nobody wants to hear this from their mother but how about someone else's? Someone who hadn't raised you, who couldn't make you feel guilty.
If some bright guy could harness nagging power- - What do you want? Why did you come? - Want? - Lunch! Lunch, lunch.
- Lunch? I was trying to figure out where to go when I came up with the idea for AMFL.
- AMFL? - "Another Mother For Lease.
" Great name, isn't it? - About lunch - Choose away, Mom.
- I'm not having any.
- No lunch, no TV tonight.
I'm skipping lunch.
I'm going to the museum.
- They are exhibiting the new Gauguin.
- Gauguin? Oh, I heard of him.
That's the guy who duked it out with Godzilla, right? I know who it is.
He paints naked girls.
"Nudes.
" Nudes, right.
Nakes have staples in them.
- So can I tag along? - Why? Why? Why not? This may come as some surprise - but I like to look at naked women.
- I'm sure.
Not only that, but I know something about art too.
- What? That it's short for Arthur? - Now, you see? You see, that's a cynical remark.
Because I do.
I do know something about art.
There are a couple guys, artists, whose work I admire and respect.
- For instance? - Rubens.
- Rubens? - Rubens.
Peter Paul Rubens happens to be a favorite.
Flemish, 17th century, master of the baroque style.
- David.
- He liked to paint those big fat mamas with major maracas.
- What? - Liked women well-packed.
An artistic notion not lost on myself.
The bigger the cushion, the- Stop it! I don't know why we work together.
We have nothing in common.
Your soul is vacant.
You possess no sensitivity.
No poetry.
- How can you say that? - Watch carefully.
"You have no poetry.
" For your information, I happen to be dripping with poetry.
I have poetry coming out my ears.
I have poetry between my toes.
- I have poetry under my fingernails.
- Do tell.
It's just that my style of poetry differs from your basic hobnob snob variety.
Us innovative, vanguard types were always misunderstood.
- I don't believe this.
- They told e.
e.
Cummings: "E, baby, use caps.
" But did old E listen? - No.
Little N, little O.
- I'm not having this conversation.
Or when they told Sylvia Plath, "Syl, cheer up.
" Now I know why people turn to drugs.
Excuse me.
Mr.
Addison, Ms.
Hayes, there's a client waiting to see you.
- What? - What? - Are you sure? - Are you sure? I asked her three times.
What do you think she could want? I don't know.
Detective, maybe? Gee, that makes sense.
Why don't you show her in? Show her in what? - Here.
- Here.
Right away, Ms.
Hayes.
- Ms.
Hayes, Mr.
Addison, this is - Kathleen Kilpatrick.
Hello, I'm Madelyn Hayes - and this is David Addison.
- Hi.
Sorry to trouble you without an appointment.
Normally, we are booked months in advance.
But you happened to hit our slack decade.
Have a seat, please.
I would like to hire you.
I'm being chased and I want you to protect me.
- Do you know who this man is? - No.
- Or why he's chasing you? - I know that.
He's after my pot of gold.
- Your pot of gold? - Yes, that's right.
Excuse me, I don't understand.
What do you mean by your pot of gold? I'm sorry.
I should've explained.
You see, I'm a leprechaun.
A leprechaun? Yes.
You are familiar with them, are you not? Oh, sure.
I did a lot of reading on them.
- When I was 7.
- Aren't you a little tall? I can assume all manner of shapes and sizes.
How convenient.
Ms.
Kilpatrick, would you excuse us a moment? - What do we do? - About what? About her.
Should we call the police, or the Department of Mental Health? Should've known.
When she said a client walked in off the streets - should've known she'd be nuts.
- Wait.
You don't wanna take this case? - What case? - What case? That case.
A lady is being pursued.
- She thinks she's a leprechaun.
- So? - So should've known.
- Maddie, come back.
Wait a second.
You don't wanna take the case because the woman said she was a leprechaun? Boy, are you a tough customer.
Bet you didn't even clap to save Tinkerbell.
Listen, that woman does not need a detective.
- What she needs is a psychiatrist.
- Perhaps.
Ours is not to reason why.
- It's to take the case and money and: - You'd take it? If we don't do it, somebody else will.
Suppose she's telling the truth.
She really is a leprechaun trying to protect her pot of gold.
- Doesn't she deserve protection? - She is not a leprechaun.
Then no one's chasing her.
It'll be the easiest dough ever.
Would you forget this money? Can't you see? That woman needs help.
- It's not right to lead her on.
- What do you mean? - You know she's not a leprechaun? - I'm certain, yes.
- Oh, really? - Yes, really.
- How do you know? - There's no such thing- - Says you.
- Says everyone.
- Not everyone.
- Everyone over the age of consent.
Are you saying that you actually think leprechauns exist? No, I'm saying if they do, their money's just as good as any other person's - or troll's, or hobgoblin's.
- That woman is- - Eccentric.
- Cuckoo.
Know what your problem is? Your soul is vacant.
You have no sensitivity.
You have no poetry.
Fairy tales are poetry.
Fantasy is poetry.
- Leprechauns is poetry.
- Okay, take it.
But take it alone.
I won't be a party to this.
- Fine, don't be party to this.
- Don't worry.
- Good.
Fine.
Good.
- Good! Fine! Good! I did too clap for Tinkerbell.
How did you happen to pick Blue Moon Detective Agency? Was it the billboards? The TV commercials? The magazine ads? Scratch-and-sniff was my idea.
- Actually, it was the name.
- Swallow me Lucky Charms.
A blue moon is a sign of luck for leprechauns.
You see, our magical powers work only at night.
Night, huh? Mine too.
That man belongs in a pound.
A pound of what? Thank you for a most enjoyable meal, Mr.
Addison.
Don't thank me, you paid for it.
It's just part of the standard service package we offer all our clients seeking security for their pots of gold.
You think I'm crazy, don't you, Mr.
Addison? I think you're a client, Ms.
Kilpatrick.
- A crazy client.
- A paying client.
There's something I should tell you, that you should know.
Something else? Hard to believe.
Last night I killed a man, Mr.
Addison.
Yeah, well, last night I killed a quart of tequila.
Mr.
Addison, did you hear what I said? I said I killed a man.
No doubt about it.
This is gonna radically affect our fee agreement.
Okay, all right.
Let's review for a second or two, shall we? - Last night you killed a man.
- Oh, my goodness.
- Don't look back.
- What? - Don't look back.
- Don't look back? Wait a second, wait a second.
Question from the balcony.
What is it that I'm not supposed to be looking at? - A man! A fellow countryman, I think.
- Now, look, Ms.
Kilpatrick - I don't think anybody's back there.
- He's following us.
Up there.
Wait a second, wait a second.
Please.
Mr.
Addison.
- Did we give him the slip? - Quiet.
He mustn't hear.
Of course.
Ms.
Kilpatrick- - Please.
- No, you please.
No one is gonna hear us because there is no one down there.
I was hired to protect you, not humor you.
Mr.
Addison, I can see you are not believing.
But I speak the truth.
He's there and I'm telling you, he'll be wanting me pot of gold.
I'm sorry, but I kind of doubt that.
Now, look.
It's late.
And I'm sure both of us have better things to do than stand around up here.
Mr.
Addison, you're not really leaving me? Ms.
Kilpatrick, nobody is following you.
- Oh, but they are.
- Oh, but they are not.
I'm a capitalist.
Usually, I will take my capital wherever I can find it.
But I don't want your money.
- I don't want this case.
- Why? It's just not right, me taking money from you.
That's why.
- I'm even crazier than you thought? - I don't want the money.
I don't wanna hear any more of your stories.
I don't wanna talk about it.
I want you to climb down here and I can take you back to wherever it is you came from and be done with.
- But what about the man? - There is no man.
Kathleen Kilpatrick! You know what I'm after.
You best leave or harm will come to you.
People are trying to sleep over here.
I'm warning you.
Come any closer, I'm gonna put the come-hither on you.
The come-hither? Don't you have anything in a go-away hither? You think I'm fooling.
I ain't fooling.
I'm calling the cops.
Excuse me, sir, but I think I was ahead of you.
I might have been mistaken.
May all the unblessed spirits Of the night run wild Hear the wail of the banshee And may the devil come And claim your soul I'll be back, Kathleen Kilpatrick.
Hey.
Hey, you! - Hello.
- It's 3:30 in the morning.
And you're up.
What luck.
Need help.
- I've known that for months.
- Could you let us in, please? Hello again, Ms.
Hayes.
Oh, my goodness, the elf.
- Leprechaun.
- Of course.
- Would you just let us in, please? - All right.
- What happened to you? - My head ran into a plank of wood.
- Let's all talk.
- Why don't you and I talk? Ms.
Kilpatrick, make yourself comfortable in the living room, please.
- Why did you bring that cuckoo here? - She's not a cuckoo.
She is just Coo.
- What does that mean? - Somebody is chasing her.
- I saw.
He conked me in the head.
- My kind of guy.
Look, I admit.
You were right.
The babe belongs in a bin.
But somebody really is chasing her.
We can't turn our backs on her now.
What "we"? I didn't take this case.
- I don't even know who she is.
- She's Kathleen Kilpatrick.
How do I know she didn't run away from an institution? From jail? How do I know she's not wanted for murder? - Oh, that reminds me.
- What? She happened to let it slip that she killed a man last night.
- What? - Yeah, with her hand.
- Karate? - No, more like early Diana Ross.
That's it.
Ms.
Kilpatrick, I think it's time the two of us had a little Terrific.
Kind of sweet.
- Kind of flattering.
- Flattering? Look at her.
It's a peaceful sleep.
She trusts us.
She feels safe, Maddie.
She knows we'll protect her.
How can she know that when I don't? Wonder who she really is.
What she's really about.
Where she's really from.
I wonder why she chose a leprechaun.
Of all the dreams to dream.
Of all the things to be, why that? In the morning.
In the morning.
Yep, this is him.
Edward O'Leary.
Recognize him? I don't know.
We never knew him.
Why'd you wanna look at the body? What did we want to look at the body for? We're private detectives.
It's what we do.
Wanna look at any others? No, thanks.
Our limit is one stiff per day.
- Was there a cause of death? - Heart failure.
- That's it? - Usually, that's all it takes.
Yeah.
Well, tell me something.
Could he have died from some sort of spell? - A spell? - Yeah, you know: "Abracadabra The guy's a cadaver"? Did you take a good look at that guy? He was 55 years old.
Smoked, climbed four flights of stairs, and was 70 pounds overweight.
His ticker just gave out.
- Look at the bright side.
Didn't kill him.
- Bright side? You're right.
She didn't kill him.
What a bummer.
Of course, we can't be sure.
What do you mean? Coroner said it was a heart attack.
Maybe that's how a leprechaun death looks.
Maybe it isn't about cholesterol.
Maybe the rash of heart attacks is actually the result of some major migration of short Irish people.
Just a theory.
- What are we gonna do? - About what? About her.
She's out of her mind.
Out of her mind? Don't you think that's a little strong? Actually, it's a pretty good summation.
- What do you wanna do? - We gotta do something.
Before she gets hurt or hurts somebody else.
Such a pretty lie.
- What does that mean? - I don't know.
Nothing.
It's a shame.
She's such a nice person.
She doesn't mean to hurt anyone.
But we can't protect someone who won't tell us the truth who maybe doesn't know what the truth is.
- You want me to talk to her? - No, I'll do it.
We'll do it.
We'll do it together.
- Afternoon.
- Is Ms.
Kilpatrick still in my office? Yep.
I thought you said she was in there.
That Kilpatrick woman, she's a little strange.
Hear that? It's the pot calling the kettle pot.
Strange? What do you mean? Where is she? What do you mean, "shh"? It's my office.
You're back.
She's been there the whole day.
Ever since you left.
Is something wrong? What are you doing in the closet? Hiding.
You see, it's daytime.
And in the daytime I'm at me most vulnerable.
- Me powers only work at night.
- Only work at night.
Right, that's why I hired you.
To protect me during the day.
But I understand.
You have to do your investigating during the day too.
So I thought, well- I was careful not to hurt anything.
And we appreciate that, Kathleen.
Daytime is a really scary time for leprechauns.
You see, if we're captured by the light of day we must take our captors to our pot of gold.
We can't resist in any way.
- You must go through a lot of pots.
- Thank you, Ms.
DiPesto.
Ms.
Kilpatrick, let's have a little conversation.
Are you gonna get it now.
Kathleen, David and I like you.
We like you a lot.
Oh, I like the both of you.
Good.
Good.
Kathleen, we know you're scared and someone's chasing you and we would really like to help you.
But it's almost impossible to figure out what's going on without the truth.
- What? I've kept nothing from you.
- And we believe you.
But maybe what you think is the truth isn't the whole truth.
- The whole truth? - We believe you're telling us the truth but what you believe is the truth may not be the truth.
- I'm sorry.
- David, you understand.
- To tell you the truth - Kathleen, there are a million things I wish I could believe in.
Knights on horses.
Wishing wells.
Santa Claus.
Miracle cures.
Oh, so that's what this is about.
- I have to tell you what I think.
- No, no, it's not what you think.
It's what you feel.
You see, Ms.
Hayes believing isn't about thinking.
It's about feeling.
Well, whatever it's about I think, I mean I feel, I mean I believe you're not a leprechaun.
They're tiny.
They go around casting spells and granting wishes.
- Can you do anything like that? - Maddie, easy.
Proof.
Is that what you be wanting? Yes, yes, yes.
Proof.
Proof would be wonderful.
I've heard all about powers and pots of gold and other nonsense.
- And I haven't seen anything.
- Maddie.
If it's proof you be wanting, what if I took you to my pot of gold? I'll get a shovel.
Kathleen, have you ever seen this pot of gold? Why, of course not.
I've only been in America two days.
Well, just where is it that you stash your pot? Why, at the end of the rainbow, of course.
Kathleen, it's getting late and it occurs to me there are no rainbows at night.
Really? Perhaps you haven't been looking in the right place.
Let's just suppose that we don't find the rainbow.
Or we find the rainbow and we don't find the pot of gold.
What if it's just not there? But it will be.
When I was a little girl, me father promised me it would be.
Every Sunday, we would have a picnic in the pasture of Dunsmeadere.
And it was then that he would talk to me about me gift.
"The gift of being a leprechaun," he would say.
"Very few people are chosen to have the magic.
But you, me darling, you have.
" And he would talk to me about the traditions and the beliefs.
How leprechauns are the guardians of all that's good, decent and honest.
It's we who keep the demons of the night in tow.
And even though those around us don't understand we must never stop believing.
Where is your father now? Still in Ireland? No.
When I was 6, he left to find work in America.
He sent me this picture.
And on it he wrote, "It has your name on it, me little leprechaun.
" That was the last I heard from him.
He died soon after.
There it be! That's it! Stop the car! Stop the car! I know I'm intrigued.
Isn't it marvelous? It is sort of the right shape.
A steel rainbow.
It's beautiful, isn't it? Move slow Sweet Harriet I'll pay for the room for the night Move slow Sweet Harriet - And move a little more to the right - Would you stop that? - Stop what? - That.
Must you sing that song? You want "Barnacle Bill the Sailor"? - That's it! I've had it! - Wait a second.
Where are you going? Holler if you hit China.
Hey, come here.
Where you going? What are you doing? Addison, it's the middle of the night.
I was standing there digging a hole.
I do not dig holes.
I know how that sounds.
It's not what I mean.
It's simply God's plan.
There are hole-diggers and non-hole diggers.
- I am a non-hole digger.
- Just a little while longer.
I do not dig holes.
I do not sing profane songs.
I drink beer in a glass.
It's the way I am.
- Okay.
All right.
I see.
- You don't.
What are we doing here? That's not a rainbow.
It's a bridge.
She's crazy.
We won't find a pot of gold because there is no pot of gold.
Ms.
Hayes! Mr.
Addison! Hold that thought.
Ms.
Hayes! Mr.
Addison! I said it was here.
- I don't believe it.
- Yeah.
- Heave! - Heave! Ho.
Heave! Ho.
- Heave! - Go to ho.
Come on.
We can't just leave it sitting here.
Couldn't you have just blinked it into the house? Isn't she beautiful? I'll tell you something.
Something you won't believe.
There were times, moments when I thought, what if it isn't there? What if it isn't true? What if I'm just a woman and it's just a story and But it was true.
It was there.
Thank you both.
There's a pot of gold in the middle of my living room.
A pot of gold.
- It's a crock.
- You think so? No, not the whole thing.
Just the pot.
I mean, technically, it's a crock.
Then what's everything else? What's that mean? That woman says she's a leprechaun.
Says she's trying to protect her pot of gold.
We say prove it, and she does.
I don't know what to think.
Didn't you hear the lady? This has nothing to do with thinking.
Think too much and it'll all go away.
Well.
- I should be- - Yeah, you should be.
I'll see you.
What are you doing? - Is something the matter? - What were you doing? I'm digging a hole, of course.
I can't leave my pot of gold laying in your living room, can I? I don't suppose you can.
But, you know, here in America, we don't do that.
Well, then.
What do you do with your gold? - We put it in the bank.
- The bank? - The bank.
- No, I couldn't do that.
- Why not? - That would be breaking the tradition.
You see, it's got to go in the ground.
In the ground.
Ground.
I know it's unorthodox, but How wonderful.
A ready-to-fill hole.
Wait till the other leprechauns hear.
Oh, this has been a glorious day.
You and your friend have done so much to help me.
- Oh, well, no.
- I want to repay you for your kindness.
Believe me, it's not necessary.
Payment of our fee is all we expect.
Oh, no, Ms.
Hayes.
I would like to grant you three wishes.
- Excuse me? - Three wishes.
Anything you want.
I couldn't.
I wouldn't know what to ask for.
Oh, by the way, I would like to grant Mr.
Addison three wishes as well.
Really? You sure? I shudder to think what he would ask for.
- Well.
If you think it's wise not to.
- Trust me.
Good morning.
Sorry I'm late.
Kathleen and I stayed up most of the night talking.
It's funny.
For someone who only got four hours' sleep - I feel wonderful.
- I'll be the judge of that.
You know, the more I get to know Kathleen, the more I like her.
She's so- I don't know.
She's from something.
Some place, a culture.
I mean, I know she's dingy.
But such a wonderful good kind of dingy.
If there was such a thing as a leprechaun, she would be one.
Yeah.
Well.
- She's not.
- Excuse me? I spent the morning at the library.
Kathleen Kilpatrick is the daughter of a bank robber.
- A bank robber? - A bank robber.
A hundred thousand in gold coins was stolen from the Bank of Ireland in '64 by three men.
One of them got away.
Kathleen's father.
- Oh, my goodness.
- They never found him or the gold.
The other two men went to prison.
One, Michael McBride, died five years ago.
- The other was Edward O'Leary.
- O'Leary? The guy with the weight problem - and gray complexion? - He must have followed her.
Figuring she might know where her father hid the gold.
Yep.
We just helped that woman uncover a hot pot of gold.
- Maybe we shouldn't tell her.
- We have to.
- Why? - Why? You can't let a person go through life casting spells and granting wishes and hiding in closets.
She has a right to know the truth.
If we don't tell her, somebody else will.
- I don't wanna tell her.
- Fine.
- I don't want anybody else to.
- Not fine.
- Look at the bright side.
- Show me.
It's not like he killed anyone.
Maybe the statute of limitation expired.
Maybe there's a reward for returning the gold.
- Really, you think so? - It's a possibility.
I'm being pessimistic.
This situation is much brighter than I'm painting it.
- Absolutely.
- Things aren't as bleak.
- There you go.
- Lf you look at the facts - he wasn't so bad.
- Exactly.
He robbed a bank.
The deed was heinous but his motives were noble.
- Yeah, greed.
- He braved an ocean for his daughter.
- Smuggling.
- Found a rainbow and buried it.
- Vandalism.
- Spun tales to disguise the ugly truth.
- Lied to his own flesh and blood.
- David, the man was dog food.
Tender Vittles.
No doubt about it.
She's probably not here.
She said she was gonna go visit her father's grave.
If we had known, we could've lent her some spit.
You tell her.
We'll both tell her.
Kathleen.
I've come to a decision.
- You're leaving? - I think it's best.
- Why? - This afternoon at the graveyard - that man was there, waiting.
- What happened? Well, I managed to get away without him seeing me.
It's only a matter of time before he finds out where I am.
- It won't be safe for you if I'm here.
- But we can help you.
Oh, no.
You've done enough already.
I'm not sure this country is the place for a leprechaun and a pot of gold.
We're being followed.
- I don't see anyone, Kathleen.
- No, I know we're being followed.
I've caught this act.
Give her the benefit of the doubt.
- So, what do we do? - Down there.
Addison, how can she just know she's being followed? - She's not really a leprechaun.
- I know that.
Obviously, nobody's following us.
Just humor her till she's on the plane.
- As long as you're sure.
- Sure, I'm sure.
I'm positive, certain.
Positively certain, certainly positive - that no one is following us.
- Kathleen Kilpatrick! What are we gonna do now? Wait! Come back here! Put it down! Shove like hell.
We're sunk.
Wait a second.
Get on line.
But I don't wanna go to Ireland now.
How about if I hold your coat for you? On second thought, I always wanted to go to the Emerald Isle.
Miss, can I help you with this hatbox? This won't work.
He'll spot us.
- He is not gonna spot us.
- He is.
- He is not gonna spot us.
- He's gonna spot us.
He just spotted us.
Watch out.
Watch out.
Coming through.
Oh, my.
It's the only way to fly.
I belong to her.
- I gotta go.
Stay here.
- Come.
My plane leaves - in five minutes.
- Look! How are we gonna get past security? Trust me.
It'll be fine! Walk through, please.
Walk through, please.
Walk through, please.
Thank you.
- Guess we lost him, huh? - Guess again.
Well, Kathleen Kilpatrick.
We played the game your way.
- Take your mitts off her.
- You know the legend.
- Now give me the suitcase.
- Addison! You know, he's right.
I must give him the suitcases.
He captured me! I'm bound by tradition to offer them to him with no resistance.
No resistance! - Go ahead, take them.
They're yours.
- You're damned right.
My father died in prison because of this.
- Your father? - He was Michael McBride.
He robbed the bank with two other men.
- One of them being Sean Kilpatrick.
- Me father? - She said you could take the gold.
- You say me father stole it? Yes.
Because he was lucky enough to escape and my father wasn't I figure the rest of that gold belonged to me.
And all this time he had you believing you're a leprechaun.
Don't you listen to a word he said.
I have a feeling he spoke the truth.
The real truth.
The whole truth.
Well, there's not much left to do.
I suppose I should go get to me plane now.
Maybe Mr.
McBride has actually done me a favor.
Yeah, right.
Let him tip the skycap.
- What if I gave you the gold? - Us? - Yeah.
- You mean after I came to? Well, if it was stolen, we'd return it.
That makes me choice easier.
I no longer wish to be a leprechaun.
- Excuse me? - I don't wanna be a leprechaun.
Can you do that? Don't you have to tell somebody? Give notice to the head lep? No.
It's simple, really.
I grant other people's wishes.
I'm just gonna grant meself one now.
Are you sure you wanna do this? Oh, yes.
Quite.
Truth is, I don't always want to be looking over me shoulder to see who's chasing me.
I don't want to be always worrying that the people I get close to might get hurt.
I don't wanna be explaining myself to people trying to get them to understand something that they can't see.
Something that they can only feel.
So you see, I'm really quite happy.
Now the burden of protecting the gold is lifted off me.
Flight 417 to Dublin, final boarding to gate 52B.
Before I go, do me one favor.
Anything to do with digging or carrying, I'm out.
- Capture me.
- What? Capture me.
All you have to do is take me arms.
Please.
Ich am of Irlonde And of the holy londe Of Irlonde Goode sir, praye ich I wish to be mortal.
I wish to be free.
- Thank you.
- That's it? - That's it.
- I've owned pairs of pants it's taken me longer to get out of.
Thank you both for everything.
- Take care.
- Now, Kathleen, when you get home I want you to take a good look at yourself.
Work on the hair.
Work on the wardrobe.
Start to work on a social life.
Date outside your fairy tale.
Dance with a fairy.
Make love to a giant.
I give you my word, Mr.
Addison.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
- What's that? - Epilogue.
Okay.
The missus and I decided to trade the key for what's in the locker.
She left us the gold.
- She really did.
She left us the gold.
- Then we did capture her after all.
But what about McBride? What did he get? A hernia? Skycap, will you give us a hand with this, please? Kind of makes you wonder if there aren't leprechauns around after all.
Yes, sir? What might you be wishing for?