Moonlighting s03e06 Episode Script

Big Man on Mulberry Street

* SOME WALK BY NIGHT * * SOME FLY BY DAY * * SOMETHING IS SWEETER * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY ** CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT YOU MIGHT AS WELL TAKE YOUR MONEY AND BURN IT BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, HE'S NOT A DISTANCE HORSE.
SIX FURLONGS, HE'S GONNA GET BLOWN OFF THE MAP.
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT? HEY, WHAT AM I, TALKING TO MYSELF? GO AHEAD.
YOU GOT MONEY TO THROW IN THE STREETS, GO RIGHT AHEAD, PAL.
I CAN MAKE THAT CALL, BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
I'LL TELL YOU WHY.
WHY, BECAUSE IT WOULD COME DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO EARNING YOUR 10%? COME ON, COME ON.
DON'T GET DEFENSIVE ON ME.
I'M BEING DEFENSIVE? YEAH, YOU'RE GETTING THAT TONE IN YOUR VOICE.
UGH.
YOU GOT AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM.
IT'S ALL OVER TOWN.
UGH.
YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME.
I'M LEAVING IN EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES.
I HAVE TO MEET MY ATTORNEY ACROSS TOWN, AND I MAKE A POINT OF BEING ON TIME FOR MY APPOINTMENTS.
NO, THANKS.
SIX IS MY LIMIT.
MRS.
KENDRICK, I'M SURE DAVID WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
YOU DO UNDERSTAND.
I REALLY NEED THOSE PICTURES TODAY.
THE HEARING IS THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
I DO UNDERSTAND.
DO YOU? DO YOU REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME? I KNOW THERE'S A LOT OF MONEY INVOLVED.
MISS HAYES, IF I CAN'T CONVINCE THE LAWYER BY FRIDAY, IF I CAN'T PRODUCE SOLID EVIDENCE THAT MY HUSBAND'S PLEAS OF POVERTY ARE A CROCK OF WHAT THIS COFFEE TASTES LIKE, I'M GONNA BE FORCED TO TAKE HIS OFFER.
AND THAT'S ISN'T EVEN ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THE GARDENER.
YOU HAVE A VERY STRONG CASE.
WE HAVE PHOTOS OF YOUR HUSBAND AND THE YACHT HE CLAIMS HE SOLD, PHOTOS OF THE FERRARI HE BOUGHT HIS GIRLFRIEND, THE BILL OF SALE WITH HIS SIGNATURE ON IT.
NONE OF WHICH DOES ME A BIT OF GOOD UNTIL I HOLD IT IN MY HAND.
I'M SURE DAVID WILL BE HERE.
YES.
I KNOW.
ANY MINUTE.
EXCUSE ME, SIR.
I'M WITH MR.
SPRINGSTEEN'S PARTY.
DON'T BOTHER, I'LL FIND THEM.
DAVID! MADDIE, MRS.
KENDRICK, GOOD MORNING, SORRY I'M A LITTLE LATE.
NO, MR.
ADDISON, YOU'RE A LOT LATE.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU MADE IT.
STAY DOWNWIND.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR SMALL TALK.
I'D JUST LIKE THE PHOTOS.
PHOTOS? THE PICTURES.
THE PICTURES? THE PICTURES I HIRED YOU TO TAKE.
THE PICTURES WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO BRING.
THE PICTURES WITHOUT WHICH YOU CAN KISS YOUR RETAINER GOOD-BYE.
OH, YEAH.
AH, THOSE PICTURES.
WOULD YOU SETTLE FOR 1,000 WORDS? MISS HAYES, I THINK YOU'LL AGREE I'VE BEEN MORE THAN PATIENT.
MRS.
KENDRICK, DON'T YOU THINK- GOOD DAY.
NO, SHE DOESN'T.
NOW, LOOK, BEFORE YOU GET MAD- TOO LATE! TOUGH TABLE.
MADDIE- LEAVE ME ALONE.
I HATE YOU! I TOLD YOU, IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
THE FREEWAY WAS JAMMED! THERE WAS A BIG ACCIDENT.
WHAT, A GIN TRUCK OVERTURNED? GOOD MORNING, MISS HAYES.
GRRR! YES, MISS HAYES.
SO, THAT'S IT? JUST GONNA GO HIDE IN YOUR OFFICE AND BE MAD AT ME? I'M NOT MAD AT YOU! I HATE YOU! I DESPISE YOU.
I LOATHE THE GROUND UNDER WHICH YOU BURROW! MAYBE IT WAS THE WIND? ARE YOU IN TROUBLE? TROUBLE, ME? TROUBLE'S MY MIDDLE NAME.
I LAUGH AT TROUBLE.
I TICKLE TROUBLE UNDER THE CHIN.
MISS HAYES SEEMED A LITTLE UPSET.
MISS HAYES IS ALWAYS A LITTLE UPSET.
SHE'LL GET OVER IT.
YOU'LL SEE.
SHE'LL COME CRAWLING OUTOF THERE BEFORE YOU CAN SAY- GET IN HERE! SHE'S NUTS ABOUT ME.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WERE LATE, I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU FORGOT THE PHOTOGRAPHS, AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU SMELL LIKE YOU SLEPT IN A CESSPOOL.
MADDIE, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO, LEAVE THE GUY TRAPPED IN A BURNING CAR BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO SINGE MY CUFFLINKS? DAVID, THAT IS A STUPID LIE.
THAT IS NOT A STUPID LIE.
MY "DOG ATE MY TERM PAPER" IS A STUPID LIE.
"OF COURSE, WE CAN STILL BE FRIENDS" IS A STUPID LIE.
I HAPPEN TO THINK YOU CAN BUY "WRECK ON A FREEWAY" AND STILL HOLD YOUR HEAD UP.
NO SALE, HUH? NOT AT HALF THE PRICE.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
FOR THE SAKE OF ARGUMENT, LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS MY FAULT.
HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THAT MAYBE I AM A NORMAL HUMAN BEING- THAT'S CERTAINLY NEVER OCCURRED TO ME.
CAPABLE OF MAKING AN HONEST MISTAKE? HONEST MISTAKE? YES, HONEST MISTAKE, MADDIE.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF HUMAN ERROR? YES, BUT HOW WOULD THAT APPLY TO YOU? I'M TALKING ABOUT THE EVERYDAY MISHAPS, LIKE FORGETTING TO SET THE ALARM- I'M NOT LISTENING! LOSING DIRECTIONS YOU'RE WASTING YOUR BREATH! WAKING UP ON THE FLOOR OF A BAR WITH A COP TAKING YOUR PULSE.
I KNEW IT! LITTLE FREE ADVICE, NEVER ORDER A DRINK CALLED A VICIOUS VIRGIN.
AT LEAST, DON'T ORDER FIVE OF THEM IN A ROW.
YOU KNOW OUR FINANCIAL SITUATION, YOU THE KIND OF MONEY THE KENDRICK CASE COULD BRING IN, AND YET YOU WALK IN HERE LOOKING LIKE THE WRATH OF GOD AND SMELLING LIKE A WINE CELLAR.
MORE LIKE A WINE BUYER IF YOU WANT TO GET TECHNICAL ABOUT IT.
AND ARE YOU EMBARRASSED? ARE YOU GUILT-RIDDEN? NO! IT DOESN'T EVEN FAZE YOU! NONSENSE.
I'M AS FAZED AS THE NEXT GUY.
SEE WHAT I MEAN? LOOK, MADDIE, WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL? ONE NIGHT IN 2 YEARS, I DRINK TOO MUCH, SLEEP TOO LITTLE, AND DON'T SHOWER.
I OVERSLEPT.
IF YOU CARED, YOU WOULDN'T BE DOING THE STAND-UP ROUTINE.
YOU'D BE APOLOGIZING, YOU'D BE TRYING TO MAKE AMENDS.
MAKE AMENDS? I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN AN AMEND.
OUT! OUT? OUT OF MY OFFICE, OUT OF MY SIGHT, OUT OF MY ZIP CODE! GO SOMEWHERE.
NEED I BE MORE SPECIFIC? LET'S TAKE A MOMENT HERE FOR A PERSPECTIVE CHECK.
I DO NOT THINK THAT THIS IS THE END OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT.
I DON'T THINK THE HEADLINE TOMORROW'S GOING TO READ, "ADDISON BLOWS CASE.
WORLD SELF-DESTRUCTS.
" IT'S NOT THE CASE, DAVID, IT'S YOU.
I'M SICK OF YOU.
I'M SICK OF NOT BEING ABLE TO DEPEND ON YOU.
YOU CAN DEPEND ON ME A GREAT DEAL OF THE TIME.
WHY DO I BOTHER? WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THIS? WHY DON'T I JUST GIVE UP AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF ACTING LIKE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT? WRONG.
WRONG? WRONG.
INCORRECT.
YOU LOSE ALL YOUR ACCUMULATED POINTS AND THE BROYHILL DINETTE SET.
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU ARE A DEPENDABLE PERSON? NO, I'M TELLING YOU THAT I AM NOT INCAPABLE OF BEING A DEPENDABLE PERSON.
PLEASE.
IT'S THE TRUTH.
I COULD BE THE PICTURE OF DEPENDABILITY IF I WANTED.
SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT THE WAY YOU ARE IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE? "CONSCIOUS" BEING A RELATIVE TERM.
IS THAT IT? YEAH.
AND THIS IS NOT AN UNFORTUNATE GENETIC MISHAP, BUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WORK AT? RIGHT ON, BROTHER.
AND THAT ANY DAY YOU COULD SIMPLY CHOOSE TO BE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT PERSON? DOES DOLLY PARTON SLEEP ON HER BACK? YOU WERE HAVING BETTER LUCK WITH THE FREEWAY STORY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MADDIE? YOU THINK PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOR PATTERNS ARE DECIDED AT BIRTH, LIKE EYE COLOR OR GENDER, OR THAT THEY JUST BECOME IRRESPONSIBLE BECAUSE THEY AREN'T GETTING ENOUGH VITAMINS? I LOVE YOUR LOGIC.
"I'M A JERK, BUT IT'S VOLUNTARY, SO THAT MAKES IT OK.
" LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, BABY.
I THINK IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME THAT I'VE BEEN DOWN A FEW MORE ROADS THAN YOU.
YOU MEAN SLEPT IN A FEW MORE GUTTERS.
AND BY NOW, I FIGURED OUT WHICH ROADS ARE FOR ME, WHICH ROADS ARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE, AND WHERE THE DEAD ENDS ARE.
FINE, DO YOU THINK WE COULD BRING THIS CONVERSATION TO ONE? AND THE FACT THAT THE WAY I CHOOSE TO BE DIFFERS FROM THE WAY YOU CHOOSE TO BE, DOES NOT GIVE YOU ANY RIGHT TO GET ON YOUR MORALLY SUPERIOR HIGH HORSE.
IS THAT SO? YES, THAT'S SO.
WELL, THAT'S KIND OF NICE FOR THE IRRESPONSIBLE TEAM, ISN'T IT? YOU COUNT ON THE REST OF US TO COVER FOR YOU, SO YOU'LL BE FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU PLEASE! WHAT IF I'D WANTED TO PASS OUT IN A BAR LAST NIGHT? NOBODY WOULD HAVE STOPPED YOU.
IN FACT, A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD HAVE HELPED YOU.
AND WHO WOULD HAVE MET MRS.
KENDRICK FOR BREAKFAST? YOU DON'T HAVE A QUICK ANSWER FOR THAT ONE, DO YOU? WHAT'S THE MATTER, WIT WELL RUN DRY? YEAH.
I GUESS SO.
AM I EXCUSED? I'M NOT SURE I'M THROUGH TALKING.
WELL, I'M SURE I'M THROUGH LISTENING.
DAVID! DAVID.
DON'T.
I JUST CALLED MRS.
KENDRICK.
AND SHE'S WILLING TO GIVE US ANOTHER CHANCE.
WE'RE MEETING WITH HER TOMORROW MORNING.
I CAN'T.
EXCUSE ME? I HAVE TO GO TO NEW YORK.
NEW YORK? YEAH.
I HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT AWAY.
I'LL JUST BE GONE A COUPLE DAYS.
I SEE.
FUNNY.
I DON'T REMEMBER YOU ASKING ME FOR THE TIME OFF.
I JUST GOT A CALL.
SOMETHING CAME UP.
SOME OLD FRIEND THROWING A PARTY YOU CAN'T MISS? SOME OLD FRIEND THROWING A FUNERAL- HIS OWN.
OH, DAVID.
I'M SORRY.
YEAH.
ME, TOO.
WHO WAS IT? A GUY I USED TO KNOW WHEN I LIVED IN THE VILLAGE IN NEW YORK.
ROLLED HIS CAR OVER ON THE JERSEY TURNPIKE THIS MORNING.
I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW HIM? ABOUT NINE YEARS AGO.
BUT YOU KEPT IN TOUCH? NOT REALLY.
I DON'T MEAN TO SEEM COLD, BUT I THINK YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH SENDING A NICE WREATH.
IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
EVERYBODY I KNOW'S GOING TO BE AT THIS FUNERAL.
I'M SURE THEY'D UNDERSTAND.
II CAN'T.
I HAVE AN OBLIGATION.
TO SOME GUY YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IN A DECADE? HE'S MORE THAN JUST SOME GUY, MADDIE.
EVEN IF HE'S YOUR FRIEND- HE'S MORE THAN MY FRIEND.
I WAS SORT OF RELATED TO HIM FOR A WHILE.
I WAS SORT OF MARRIED TO HIS SISTER.
COME IN.
MISS HAYES? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GET YOU A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING? YOU THINK YOU KNOW A PERSON, YOU THINKA PERSON IS YOUR FRIEND, YOU THINK THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THAT PERSON THAT WOULD COME AS A SHOCK.
MR.
ADDISON? OH.
WHAT? HE'S GAY, ISN'T HE? MR.
ADDISON? MR.
ADDISON'S BEEN MARRIED.
HAS HE? WOW THAT'S BETTER THAN GAY.
I GUESS IT'S NO BIG DEAL THAT HE NEVER MENTIONED IT.
NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT.
MR.
ADDISONMARRIED.
IT'S NOT LIKE HE TRIED TO HIDE IT.
GOSH.
SOMEWHERE IN THE WORLD, THERE'S A MRS.
MR.
ADDISON.
YEAHNO! A FORMER MRS.
MR.
ADDISON.
WOW.
I MEANBOY! WELLWE'VE WASTED ENOUGH TIME ON THIS MILDLY INTERESTING DEVELOPMENT.
THINK THE TRAFFIC'S DIED DOWN BY NOW? WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE SHE LOOKS LIKE? I DON'T KNOW.
HOW WOULD I KNOW? I HAVEN'T GIVEN IT A THOUGHT.
NOT AT ALL? WELL, MAYBE A LITTLE.
BUT IF IT TOOK HIM THIS LONG TO TELL ANYBODY, I'M NOT GOING TO HOLD MY BREATH WAITING FOR HIM TO BRING THE WEDDING PICTURES IN.
I'LL TAKE THIS DRAWER, YOU TAKE THAT ONE! UGH! DON'T WORRY.
HE BUYS THOSE ONLY FOR THE ARTICLES.
AND I SUPPOSE THIS IS FOR THE FINE PRINT? WE'RE WASTING OUR TIME.
THERE'S NOTHING HERE BUT JUNK AND SMUT.
BESIDES, I DON'T EVEN CARE WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
IT'S LATE.
WE REALLY SHOULD GO HOME.
MRS.
MR.
ADDISON.
THE FORMER MRS.
MR.
ADDISON.
DAVID MARRIED.
GREENWICH VILLAGE.
* WHY CAN'T I LAY LOW * * WHY CAN'T I SAY WHAT I MEAN * * WHY DON'T I STAY HOME * * GET MYSELF INTO SOME BORING ROUTINE * * WHY CAN'T I CALM DOWN * * WHY IS IT ALWAYS I FIND * * I CAN'T GET UNWOUND * * WHY DO I THROW MYSELF INTO THE NIGHTS * * I'M ON THE OUTSIDE * * I DON'T FIT INTO THE GROOVE * * NOW, I AIN'T A BAD GUY * * SO TELL ME WHAT AM I TRYING TO PROVE * * WHY CAN'T I COOL OUT * * WHY DON'T I BUTTON MY LIP * * WHY DO I LASH OUT * * WHY IS IT I ALWAYS SHOOT FROM THE HIP * * I CRUISE FROM HOUSTON TO CANAL STREET * * A MISFIT AND A REBEL * * SEE THE ONES TALKIN' TO THEMSELVES * * AND I CAN UNDERSTAND * * WHY IS IT EVERY TIME I GO OUT * * I ALWAYS SEEM TO GET IN TROUBLE * * I GUESS I MADE AN IMPRESSION * * ON SOMEBODY NORTH OF HESTER AND SOUTH OF GRAND * * SO IN MY SMALL WAY * * I'M A BIG MAN ON MULBERRY STREET * * I DON'T MEAN ALWAYS * * ONLY AT NIGHT WHEN I'M LIGHT ON MY FEET * * WHAT ELSE HAVE I GOT * * THAT I'D BE TRYING TO HIDE * * THERE'D BE A BLIND SPOT * * I HAVEN'T SEEN FROM THE SENSITIVE SIDE * * TO KNOW IN MY OWN HEART * * I'M A BIG MAN ON MULBERRY STREET * * I PLAY THE WHOLE PART * * I LEAVE A BIG TIP WITH EVERY RECEIPT * * I'M SO ROMANTIC * * I'M SUCH A PASSIONATE MAN * * SOMETIMES I PANIC * * WHAT IF NOBODY FINDS OUT WHO I AM ** AHH! OH.
OH.
YES, COULD YOU TELL ME, WHAT IS THE NEXT FLIGHT TO NEW YORK? BILL.
WILLIAM.
YO, FISH, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? DO YOU BELIEVE THEY'LL ONLY GIVE US ONE PITCHER OF BEER AT A TIME? I MEAN, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT? WE'RE HAVING MY WAKE SOMEWHERE ELSE.
TA-DA! YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.
YEAH, OK, SURE FINE.
ANYWAY, HE USED TO GET REAL DEPRESSED.
ABOUT ANYTHING.
ABOUT EVERYTHING.
HE USED TO CALL ME AT 4:30 IN THE MORNING, CRYING ABOUT SOME MOVIE HE'D JUST SEEN ON TV OR SOME STORY HE'D READ IN THE PAPER.
I HALF THINK HE SAW THAT CAR COMING AND JUST DECIDED HE DIDN'T WANT TO GET OUT OF THE WAY.
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR? YEAH.
WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR, T.
C.
? T.
C TOP CAT.
* THAT INDISPUTABLE * * TOP CAT * * WHO'S INTELLECTUAL * * CLOSE FRIENDS GET TO CALL HIM T.
C.
* * PROVIDING IT WITH DIGNITY * * TOP CAT * * THE MOST DISPUTABLE * * LEADER OF THE GANG * * HE'S THE TOP * * HE'S THE KING * * BUT ABOVE EVERYTHING * * HE'S THE MOST TIPTOP * * BIPPITY BOP, TOP CAT ** YEAH! TO JIMMY, BOYS.
THE JIMMER.
DID HE EVER DO THAT TO YOU? CALL YOU UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT CRYING? YEAH.
I'D JUST HANG UP ON HIM.
WHERE YOU GOING? WHAT, DO YOU WANT TO WATCH? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO HIS HAIR? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BILL THIS CALL? YEAH, CHARGE THIS TO MY HOME NUMBER, PLEASE- ONE MOMENT.
THANK YOU.
HI.
THIS IS MADDIE HAYES.
I'M NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, BUT PLEASE LEAVE YOUR NAME AND NUMBER AT THE SOUND OF THE BEEP.
AND I'LL GET RIGHT BACK TO YOU.
UHHI, IT'S, UH, ME.
UHI GOT IN OK.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
THE, UHFUNERAL IS TOMORROW.
I'LL BE HOME LATE THURSDAY, BE IN THE OFFICE FRIDAY.
SOIF YOU NEED ANYTHING, YOU CAN REACH ME AT THE HOTEL.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THIS LATE? I KNOW YOU'RE WONDERING WHAT I'M DOING HERE.
I DON'T KNOW MYSELF.
SOMEWHERE OVER ARIZONA, I REALIZED I SHOULDN'T BE ON THIS PLANE.
BY THEN, THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT.
SO HERE I AM.
AND THE ONLY EXPLANATION I HAVE IS, I GUESS, I THOUGHT I COULD HELP YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHY I THOUGHT THAT, BUT I DID.
BUT DON'T WORRY DON'T WORRY, I CAN LEAVE.
I ALREADY CHECKED, THERE'S A FLIGHT BACK TO L.
A.
IN AN HOUR.
IF I CATCH A CAB NOW, I CAN MAKE IT.
EXCEPT THAT I'M REALLY EXHAUSTED, AND I'D KIND OF LIKE TO GET SOME REST.
ONLY IF I STAYED, I- I THOUGHT I'D LIKE TO BE SORT OF NEARBY.
BUT I ALREADY ASKED ABOUT THE ROOM NEXT DOOR, AND THE MAN AT THE DESK SAID HE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME UNLESS YOU SAID IT WAS OK.
SO I GUESS YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM IT'S OK.
UNLESS IT ISN'T OK.
I FEEL LIKE AN ASS.
I KNOW I'M NOT MAKING MUCH SENSE.
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS, UH, THAT I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND, I MEAN ABOUT YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW.
AND IF I SEEMED A LITTLE FROSTY WHEN YOU TOLD ME, IT'S ONLY BECAUSE I WAS SO SURPRISED THAT YOU'D BEEN MARRIED.
WHICH IS STUPID, RIGHT? I MEAN, WHY SHOULD I THINK YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED? I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE THINGS WE'LL NEVER TALK ABOUT.
THERE SHOULD BE THINGS.
PIECES POCKETS OF OUR LIVES THAT ARE PRIVATE.
I CERT-I MEAN, I CERTAINLY HAVE PLENTY OF THINGS I'VE NEVER TALKED TO YOU ABOUT.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE WE HAVE THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE YOU KNOW, I JUST REALIZED WHAT I SHOULD DO.
WHAT I SHOULD DO IS GO CATCH THAT AIRPLANE.
DON'T GO.
I WANT YOU TO STAY.
I'LL TELL THE, UH I'LL TELL THE GUY AT THE DESK YOU'RE MY SISTER.
MY MOTHER.
I'LL TELL HIM I'M YOUR FATHER.
YOU CAN HAVE THE ROOM NEXT DOOR.
I'LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE.
David: YOU AWAKE? YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.
YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.
WHY DID YOU DO THAT? I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.
THAT WAS A PRETTY LOUSY THING I DID TO YOU, WASN'T IT? I MEAN TELLING YOU I WAS MARRIED AND THEN HOPPING ON A PLANE.
BUT I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING.
I KNEW THAT IT STUNK.
I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
IT WASN'T VERY IMPORTANT, ANYWAY.
SHE WASN'T VERY IMPORTANT, ANYWAY.
WHAT WAS SHE LIKE? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT WAS SHE LIKE? WHAT HAPPENED? I REALLY KNEW HER JUST ABOUT ALL MY LIFE.
UH GRADE SCHOOL, HIGH SCHOOL.
WE USED TO WALK TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
AND ONE DAY, WE WERE WALKING TO SCHOOL AND IT WAS RAINING.
AND NEITHER OF US REALLY WANTED TO GO TO SCHOOL ANYWAY, IT WAS THE LAST PLACE WE WANTED TO BE.
SO WE WENT BACK TO HER HOUSE.
AND LIKE I SAID, IT WAS RAINING, AND IT WAS RAINING ALL THE WAY HOME, SO WE WERE SOAKING WET.
AND WE TOOK OUR CLOTHES OFF.
YOU KNOW, WHAT'S REALLY FUNNY IS I CANNOT REMEMBER ANY OTHER THING ABOUT THAT DAY.
THE SECOND THAT WE STARTED I FELT SO SAFE.
THEN I WAS SCARED.
I WAS SCARED.
I MEAN, I HAD BEEN WITH OTHER GIRLS, I MEAN, I HAD FOOLED AROUND, BUT THIS WAS REALLY SPECIAL.
THIS WAS REALLY SPECIAL.
LIKE MY MIND IS GOING CRAZY.
ONE SIDE OF MY BRAIN IS SAYING, "YOU WANT TO WORK IN A GAS STATION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?" I MEAN, THAT'S THE STORY YOU ALWAYS HEAR, RIGHT? KNOCKS UP SOME GIRL, GETS MARRIED, HAS TO WORK IN A GAS STATION, RIGHT? BUT THE OTHER SIDE OF MY BRAIN- THE OTHER SIDE OF MY BRAIN IS GOING, "EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE, DAVE.
" ANYWAY AS SOON AS WE WERE DONE, THE SECOND WE WERE DONE, IT GOT REALLY WEIRD.
I JUST GOT UP AND GOT DRESSED AND LEFT.
I REALLY DIDN'T HAVE ANYPLACE TO GO, SO I'M JUST WALKING AROUND.
AND WHILE I'M WALKING AROUND, IN MY HEAD, I'M HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH GOD.
I'M SAYING, "GOD, PLEASE, PLEASE.
"I WILL NEVER EVER DO IT AGAIN.
PLEASE JUST DON'T LET HER GET PREGNANT.
" AND IN MY MIND, ALL I SEE IS ME IN A BLUE SUNOCO UNIFORM WITH "DAVE" STITCHED OVER THE POCKET.
ANYWAY, I GUESS GOD HAD SOMETHING ELSE ON HIS MIND.
WE HAD TO GET MARRIED, AND THE BABY DIDN'T MAKE IT.
SO, ANYWAY, SHE WANTS TO BE AN ACTRESS.
HER BROTHER JIMMY LIVED IN NEW YORK, SO WE MOVED TO NEW YORK.
GOT A PLACE DOWN ON 9th STREET.
IT WAS EARLY SEVENTIES, REALLY A WILD TIME.
I WAS TENDING BAR, SHE WAS GOING TO CLASS.
AND ONE DAY, I COME HOME AND FIND THE CENSUS TAKER ON TOP OF HER GETTING ALL KINDS OF PERTINENT INFORMATION THAT ISN'T ON THE FORM.
SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T VERY IMPORTANT.
I'M SORRY.
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
GOOD NIGHT.
MADDIE, YOU AWAKE? I GOT TO GO.
Maddie: JUST A SECOND.
GOOD MORNING.
HELLO.
WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT? NO REASON.
NO REASON? YOU'RE WEARING BLACK.
I KNOW, WE'RE GOING TO A FUNERAL.
I USED TO WEAR HOT PINK TO FUNERALS, BUT I ALWAYS FELT GUILTY ABOUT WAKING UP THE DEAD.
IS THERE SOME SUBTLETY TO THIS CONVERSATION THAT I'M MISSING? DID YOU NOT WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU TO THIS FUNERAL? OF COURSE.
OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T.
LOOK, IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL.
JUST HAVEN'T SEEN THESE PEOPLE FOR A LONG TIME, THAT'S ALL.
YOU UNDERSTAND.
I UNDERSTAND.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
YES, I DO UNDERSTAND.
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO.
NO, YOU DON'T.
YES, I DO.
FINE.
FINE.
GOOD.
GOOD.
I'M GOING.
GO! YOU'RE MAD? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING.
YOU ARE MAD.
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE I'M NOT TAKING YOU? I'M NOT MAD.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M MAD? THE WAY YOU'RE SITTING THERE.
THE WAY YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AT ME.
LOOK AT ME! I'M NOT MAD! I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS.
WE ARE IN NEW YORK CITY, MADDIE.
YOU ARE A $5.
00 CAB RIDE AWAY FROM AT LEAST NOT MENTION RESTAURANTS, THEATERS, MUSEUMS, AND YOU'RE MAD AT ME BECAUSE I'M NOT TAKING YOU TO THIS FUNERAL.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FUNERAL.
IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOU.
IT'S JUST I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOU, NOT TO THIS FUNERAL.
LOOKLOOK HERE.
PICK A FUNERAL.
HERE.
I'LL TAKE YOU TO ANY ONE OF THESE FUNERALS.
HERE.
LOOK, THIS SOUNDS GOOD.
RIGHT HERE.
HUH? COME ON.
THIS SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
SHORT EULOGY, OPEN CASKET, DINNER, DRINKS, OPEN BAR.
MADDIE.
GETTING ME TO GO TO THIS THING WAS THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER DONE.
I JUST CAN'T TAKE YOU.
WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE BACK? I DON'T KNOW.
FUNERAL STARTS AT NOON.
THERE WILL PROBABLY BE SOMETHING AT SOMEBODY'S HOUSE AFTER.
I DON'T KNOW.
WELL, DON'T WORRY.
STAY AS LONG AS YOU WANT.
I'LL BE FINE.
WILL YOU? WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK? I DON'T KNOW.
HAVE FUN.
IT MIGHT BE LATER THAN THAT.
FINE.
WHENEVER.
THAT FABULOUS FIT.
A BRAND-NEW CAR! Woman: ADDISON RESIDENCE.
HELLO? HELLO? HELLO.
HELLO.
I HOPE I'M NOT TOO LATE.
I DON'T MEAN TO BOTHER ANYONE.
I JUST WOULD LIKE TO PAY MY RESPECTS.
I'M JIMMY'S AUNT ROSEMARY.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M MADDIE.
MADDIE HAYES.
CAN I HELP YOU FIND SOMEONE? NO, THANKS.
I'LL JUST LOOK AROUND.
ARE YOU A FRIEND OF JIMMY'S? YES.
WELL, A LONG TIME AGO.
I'M SURE HE WOULDN'T REMEMBER ME.
I MEAN, IF HE COULD.
ACTUALLY I DIDN'T KNOW JIMMY.
YOU DIDN'T? NO, I KNEW OF HIM FROM SOMEONE ELSE- HIS SISTER.
YOU KNOW TESS? TESS? YESI DID.
A LONG TIME AGO.
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO? I'LL GO FIND HER.
THAT'S OK.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER.
Woman: EXCUSE ME.
WERE YOU LOOKING FOR ME? Rosemary: YES, SHE WAS.
YOU REMEMBER HER, YOUR OLD FRIEND? WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS? MADDIE.
MADDIE HAYES.
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
I'M SURE YOU DON'T REMEMBER.
I'M SORRY.
YOU'RE RIGHT, UH, I DON'T REMEMBER.
WHEN EXACTLY DID WE KNOW EACH OTHER? IS THERE SOMEWHERE WE COULD TALK PRIVATELY? IT'S A LITTLE CHILLY, BUT, UH, YOU CAN'T BEAT THE VIEW.
THIS IS VERY AWKWARD.
I'M SORRY.
WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER.
WE'VE NEVER MET.
I'M A FRIEND OF DAVID'S.
DAVID ADDISON? OH.
DO YOU KNOW HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE HE IS? I THOUGHT MAYBE HE WAS HERE.
HE HASN'T BEEN HERE.
NO ONE'S SEEN HIM ALL DAY.
HE WASN'T AT THE FUNERAL? NO.
BELIEVE ME, I LOOKED.
I REALLY WANTED TO TALK TO HIM.
YOU DID? I'VE BEEN WANTING TO TALK TO HIM FOR NINE YEARS.
I'VE CALLED, I'VE WRITTEN.
HE NEVER ANSWERS.
I THOUGHT I HAD HIM CORNERED THIS TIME.
HE LEFT THE HOTEL AT 11:00 THIS MORNING.
DON'T WORRY.
I'M SURE HE'S OK.
YOU KNOW DAVID.
HE PROBABLY JUST WASN'T IN THE MOOD FOR A FUNERAL TODAY.
MAYBE HE JUST COULDN'T FACE YOU.
HE TOLD YOU ABOUT IT? WELL I GUESS THAT'S HIS RIGHT.
I'M JUST SURPRISED.
I'VE KNOWN DAVID SINCE WE WERE KIDS.
BARING HIS SOUL IS NOT HIS STRONG SUIT.
WELL, WE'RE PRETTY CLOSE.
I MEAN, CLOSE, BUT NOT IT DOESN'T MATTER.
I JUST KNOW THAT DAVID STILL FEELS BADLY.
I JUST WISH HE COULD PUT IT BEHIND HIM.
I MEAN I KNOW THERE IS NO CHANCE THAT WE'LL EVER BE CLOSE AGAIN.
I WOULD JUST FEEL SO MUCH BETTER IF IF HE COULD EVEN STAND TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME.
I'M SURE THAT'S NOT IT.
I'M SURE A LOT OF IT IS THAT DAVID DOESN'T WANT TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH YOUR THAT GUY.
WHAT GUY? THAT GUY.
YOUR GUY.
THE GUY HE WALKED IN ON YOU WITH.
WHAT? ANOTHER MAN? ISIS THAT OF COURSE THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD YOU.
WELL, I HAVE TO HAND IT TO HIM.
AT LEAST, HE WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF THE TRUTH.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
WELL, HONEST ABE LEFT OUT A MINOR DETAIL.
IT'S TRUE HE WALKED IN ON ME AND SOMEONE ELSE.
BUT IT WASN'T ANOTHER MAN.
THEN IN MY SOPHOMORE YEAR, I HAD THIS INCIDENT WITH MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER, MRS.
DOHERTY.
I WON'T BORE YOU WITH ALL THE GRUESOME DETAILS, BUT IT HAD TO DO WITH A SUGGESTION I MADE CONCERNING PART OF HER ANATOMY AND THE BUSINESS END OF A BUNSEN BURNER.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE METER.
I'M PLAYING HOOKY FROM MY BROTHER-IN-LAW'S FUNERAL.
I DIDN'T PLAN ON IT.
I MEAN, I DON'T THINK I PLANNED ON IT.
I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER.
IT'S JUST THAT I KNOW TESS.
IF I SEE HER, SHE'S GOING TO WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.
SHE'S GOING TO WANT TO ANALYZE IT.
SHE'S GOING TO WANT ME TO TELL HER I'M OK WITH IT.
WELL, I'M OK WITH IT, LONG AS I DON'T GOT TO THINK ABOUT IT.
AND I'VE GOT THIS OTHER WOMAN BACK AT THE HOTEL.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON IN HER MIND.
SHE FLIES ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.
IT MUST BE SOMETHING.
I DIDN'T TELL HER THE WHOLE TRUTH.
NAH, I TOLD HER THE MOST IMPORTANT PART.
BUT LOOK, LET'S FACE IT, A PERSON IN BED WITH YOUR WIFE IS A PERSON IN BED WITH YOUR WIFE.
GENDER IS NOT THE MAIN ISSUE.
IF THIS MAKES ME A JERK, THEN I GUESS I'M A JERK, HUH? YEAH.
WELL, EVERYBODY'S ENTITLED TO THEIR OPINION.
SHE WAS THERE WITH THAT GUY.
WHAT GUY? YOU KNOW, AT THE FUNERAL.
MY EX-WIFE'S GUY.
THAT GUY.
OHHIM.
YEAH.
SOMEBODY TOLD ME THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.
REALLY? ABOUT TIME.
YEAH.
I GUESS SO.
WAKE ME UP WHEN WE'RE IN THE CAB.
DAVID? MADDIE? WANT HALF THE BLANKET? WE'LL FIGURE THAT OUT WHEN WE GET TO YOUR PLACE.
YEAH.
THANKS.
IF I CAN BORROW HALF A SHOULDER.
ONLY FOR ABOUT THE NEXT 20 OR 30 YEARS.
THEN I'M GOING TO NEED IT BACK.
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY LIONS GATE HOME ENTERTAINMENT CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL * SOME WALK BY NIGHT * * SOME FLY BY DAY * * SOMETHING IS SWEETER * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY * * 'CAUSE WE MET ON THE WAY **