Most Extreme Elimination Challenge (2003) s01e08 Episode Script

ANNOUNCER: What are these couples running from? They're not.
They're running to the world's toughest competition in town.
In today's battle, a team of take no prisoner educators, versus rugged down and dirty outdoorsmen who live life off the land.
So get fired up for MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.
And here are the bullies on our block, Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hey-oh.
VIC ROMANO: Well, we've got a great show today, Ken, it's educators versus outdoors-whoa.
Wait, who we got here, who are these lovely ladies here, Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: These girls are broadcasting students from the Learning Hut.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, that's terrific.
I didn't know you were taking a class, hey? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
I'm not, I'm the teacher.
Professor Blankenship, I got my degree off the Internet.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, what do you know about teaching? Wait a minute, this is another one of your dating scams, isn't it, to meet girls? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, that's terrible.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Teaching is a noble profession.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, I know.
VIC ROMANO: Teachers are role models.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: They're dignified and responsible- KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, I told them you could be guest speakers.
VIC ROMANO: Well, oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They're big fans of yours, they love you.
VIC ROMANO: Well, I suppose I could share some stories about early radio.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great, can we do it at your condo? VIC ROMANO: What? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You got the hot tub.
VIC ROMANO: Kenny.
Let's go to Guy.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Thank you, boys.
Today's competition will take place in front of my very high concept medieval themed managed care facility.
Which shockingly, remains vacant.
Now, moving on, our very first event will be Door Slammers, followed by the always popular Sinkers and Floaters, and then we swing over to the Wall of Maim, now things will be shaken not stirred for Pole Riders, and finally the painful Log Drop.
Now to you, Skipper.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: So outdoorsmen and educators.
One team deals with savage animals, and the other likes to hunt and fish.
Do you all agree? [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, now hang on a second you in the front row, you didn't even raise your hand.
MALE 1: Who me? VIC ROMANO: Yes, you with your head in the beaver.
Talk to me, I want to know what's going on in your mind.
MALE 1: Uh, chick dig, g-guys in beaver hats.
Uh, last year I almost got laid twice.
VIC ROMANO: I need a witty retort from you.
MALE 2: Uh, happy to.
I'm a teacher, and teachers do it in class.
I mean, with class.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
MALE 1: Uh, outdoorsmen do it, uh, outdoors.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Let's go.
VIC ROMANO: And the Captain sends our two teams of competitors off for their first challenge, Door Slammers.
The goal is to get through the row of nine doors to the [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
, where you grab a key to move on.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And the team with the most brass wins the round.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
Oh, and speaking of grabbing, that's Harry LeBeau getting slowed down there.
But he breaks free, he's through the third row, moves on to the fourth, and [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
oh, - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, he's slammed, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he is, Ken.
And that's leaving the first place spot up for grabs.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Lot of grabbing possibilities in back too, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Top notch groping and slamming.
And up front, that's Icelandic comic Lars Radichuck.
He takes a lead, oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, he ate some door.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he did, Ken.
And there's outdoorsman Ron Mure, he's first into the powder, right behind him a whole gaggle of educators.
And right down there, it looks like one of the Department of Education's playground monitors is getting a little carried away trying to keep order.
And hibernation consultant Bonnie Stark having problems.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
And there's the final bell, and the round is over.
And the educators take the first game.
And they had a little help, didn't they, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That's right.
Right back here, Harry LeBeau has the lead, but then he's held back by Special Ed teacher Lloyd Mongol.
Then outdoor comic Lars Radichuck gets big laughs, but no win.
VIC ROMANO: And Lars and his outdoorsmen teammates will get another chance as we move on to round two: Sinkers and Floaters.
As the Kennytron shows us, the object is to run over rocks without going down.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: [OVERLAP.]
Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Here's Nunzio Spermicelli.
NUNZIO: Fuhgeddaboutit.
VIC ROMANO: He teaches witness intimidation and jury tampering at Our Lady of Tony Soprano in New Jersey.
And he's got a good run going, oh, he goes down.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: To nap with the fishes.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
And here's Shepard Dane, he's an Everglades Sherpa [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
[OVERLAP.]
oh, my goodness.
Next up, Graham McNally.
She's a dyslexic geography teacher from York New.
And there she goes, she's got a good run going.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, and there's a longitudinal lickety split.
Oh my.
And here comes Joshua Tree, big game hunter, developed the controversial kill and release program.
[OVERLAP.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, that's a [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
to the solar maxis.
VIC ROMANO: I think that deserves an MXC Impact Replay.
There you can see, he just colostomizes himself, Ken.
If you listen closely, you can hear the colon being inverted right there.
No tearing Ken, just inversion.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh.
VIC ROMANO: Yeah.
And trying to go all the way for the educators is Jasmine Whiffer.
She's an onset tutor for the adult film industry.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, she goes down.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, Vic, she goes down hard.
Let's check it out again.
She starts okay, but she takes it face first, down to the hairline.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Not only that, Vic, she's wearing elbow pads.
You know what they say about a girl in elbow pads.
VIC ROMANO: I think you're thinking of kneepads, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
That's sick.
VIC ROMANO: Anyway, here's Daniel Boone.
He checks chinchillas for chiggers and chowchilla.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And oh, the chump chokes, now he's chumming for chowder.
VIC ROMANO: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
Next up, the lovely Amanda Edwards.
She teaches scrapbooking to the homeless.
And there she goes, out on the boulder, she's got the best start, but oh, over to the shore.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There's one for the memory books.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And next up, here's outdoorsman Ron Muir.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That guy's fast.
VIC ROMANO: He has to be, Ken, and he makes it.
RON: Yeah, I'm the one, yeah, ooh.
VIC ROMANO: Ron of course uses his speed as a big game taunter on safaris.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, he shames lions out in the open using foul language and sarcasm.
VIC ROMANO: It's the worst kind of hunting, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, sure is.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
But there's no denying his talent here.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, there's an example of one of his taunts.
VIC ROMANO: Well, Ron puts the outdoorsmen in the lead.
Let's see if educator Tony Rubens can even things up.
Tony teaches the art of pacing yourself to government employees.
Starts off nicely [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
, oh.
And he's down.
Let's go down to Guy and find out what happened there.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, are you all right? TONY: I think I rushed things, I may have hurt myself.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, perhaps you should take the day off.
TONY: I think I'll go on disability.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, Guy like.
VIC ROMANO: Well, he might even take a personal day.
But it was the outdoorsmen's day in the last event, and they tie up the game one to one.
ANNOUNCER: Still to come on MXC, it's wham, bam, thank you Stan.
ANNOUNCER: MXC is back with more down and dirty action between educators and outdoorsmen.
VIC ROMANO: All right Kenny, we've got a great competition going so far.
Two great games, and we're tied up one to one.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Kenny, come on, you're getting all giggly, what's going on? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Uh, well, I'm thinking maybe this teacher thing is too much for me.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Uh-huh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: It's too much pressure.
VIC ROMANO: Well, there's lots of responsibility.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah, I'm thinking the outdoors is more my style.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Right.
Uh-huh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Fresh air, being one with nature, maybe opening a sleepover camp for hot chicks.
VIC ROMANO: Uh, Kenny, I knew it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: How about hot tub camp? VIC ROMANO: Let's go to the Captain.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: Well, starting things off for the educators is Edgar Allen Poo.
EDGAR: Aah.
VIC ROMANO: Edgar teaches children's lit, he also wrote the Telltale Diaper, as well as the Fall of the House of Lego.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh.
Thought he was gonna stick it there, let's take another look at that, Ken.
You can see he's doing a spread eagle mattress muncher- KENNY BLANKENSHIP: With a full face plantation.
VIC ROMANO: And to quoth Edgar, Nevermore.
[LAUGHTER.]
And first up for the outdoorsmen, it's young Candace Despiseman.
She's a spelunker.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, she vomits for a living? VIC ROMANO: She's a cave diver, Ken.
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Took a dive right there.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed she did Ken, let's take a look-see what happened.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well she overextended on a stretchy Kegel, you gotta keep your Kegels underneath you.
VIC ROMANO: Good advice, Ken.
ETHEL: Hi Room 69.
VIC ROMANO: And that's Ethel Grundy.
She teaches math and home ec classes.
Either way, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
She ate a slice there.
JACK: Good to go.
VIC ROMANO: Next up for the outdoorsmen, Jack Packer, he's a license hobo who leads rail tours.
Oh, there's nice lazy stool into a 220 hummingbird.
Oh, and he totally [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
Let's take another look Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: That's not a lazy stool, Vic, it's a packed stool.
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And now, he's packing his bags.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VICHY: Vive le France.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, Vichy Chirac.
He's a forfeit instructor at the French Military College of Capitulation.
And oh.
VICHY: Yes, oui, oui, oui, yeah, oui, oui, oui, oui, yeah.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Sticks it with a full surrender.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Let's take another look at that, Ken.
You can see he starts off with good form, great extension, and in true French fashion he ends it with his hands in the air.
PETE: Muy bueno.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, it's Pete Moss.
He runs a brown water rafting tour in Tijuana.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, he feels right at home here, huh? JODY: Try the buffet.
VIC ROMANO: Here's Jody Macaroni, a lunch lady counsel from Boise Unified School District.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, that calls for an MXC Impact Replay.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed Ken.
We see she starts with a backside forced entry into an inverted mons pubis.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, and lands right on her pubis humorous.
VCAPTAIN TENNEAL: Eat bait.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, that's Virgil Croppie.
He runs the world's largest nude charity fishing tournament, Asses for Basses.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
Now his ass is bass.
KIM: Finger it.
VIC ROMANO: Well, here's Kim Pica, she's a typing teacher.
And there she goes.
Comma, dot, dot, dot.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Boy, I hope she types faster than she does this.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
And there she goes [OVERLAP.]
oh, hits hard.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh.
VIC ROMANO: Lands on her backspace, end of paragraph.
HADA: I'm going for it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And next up, Hada Babaganoush.
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Okay, good, go.
She runs a moonlight dromedary ride in the wilds of Dearborn, Michigan.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I like my camels with two humps.
VIC ROMANO: And there goes Hada, she does a little reconnaissance swing.
Starting off at the end, goes in for a second approach, and she sticks it.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Let's take another look at it, Ken.
You can see right here, she starts off that first swing, a sneaky peeky, swings back, regrouping her momentum, and right there her sticktoitiveness gives the educators another win, and they now lead two do one.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Good for Chada.
VIC ROMANO: Hell yeah.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up next, watch our challengers ride the pole as MXC continues.
Got it, punk? ANNOUNCER: Time for more MXC.
It's the outdoorsmen versus the educators.
VIC ROMANO: Well Kenny we're back with the outdoorsmen leading two to one, in a great competition, and I cannot believe what you are doing.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What are you talking about? VIC ROMANO: I'm talking about those girls from your class down there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: They're just washing my car.
VIC ROMANO: Yes, I know they're washing your car, Ken, but why are they doing it topless? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well I didn't want them to scratch the paint.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, that makes sense.
Let's go to Pole Riders.
Now, the object of the game is say.
Just firmly grip the head of the shaft, and go from one end to the other without getting wet.
RYAN: Hey, dances with sharks, man.
VIC ROMANO: And first um, outdoorsmen Ryan Fosse.
He's a marine unnaturalist who lived with a gaggle of sharks for the past three years.
He considers sharks his chums.
[OVERLAP.]
Oh, right into the drink.
And let's go to the replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Right here, I'll show you what he did wrong.
When you ride pole, you gotta keep it rigid, otherwise somebody is gonna get hurt.
Right there.
AUDREY: Peace through ignorance.
VIC ROMANO: And that's Audrey Salzano, she teaches world affairs at Sean Penn State University.
And she's off.
Ooh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ooh.
Boy, I don't know how long she practiced for this event, but uh, more would have helped.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed Ken.
Let's take another look.
As you can see, most young people her age have a short attention span, and right there she's just became bored with the whole endeavor.
JONAH: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: And that's Jonah Sierra, he claims to be half Sasquatch, from Moosejaw, Saskatchewan.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And a Methodist, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Didn't help him there, Ken.
JONAH: Oh man.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
NANCY: Go to bed, kids.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Nancy Sher, a naptime supervisor at Roseanne Barr Elementary in Robin Way, Michigan.
And she's off [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
, oh, looks like somebody needs a timeout, Ken.
Let's go to the replay.
Take us through it.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Well, she has a nice start, then she loses her grip on the head, and slides down the shaft, and gets a face full of liquid.
VIC ROMANO: One teacher that didn't make the grade.
And next up, that's Lars Radachuck.
He's Iceland's premier outdoor comic and Dixie Chick impersonator.
You saw him earlier in Door Slammers, and here's what he had to say about it.
LARS: Yah, it hurts really bad, but luckily my hair absorbed the impact.
VIC ROMANO: Well let's see if he has a little better luck here.
Look at that form [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
and, Ken he nailed it perfectly.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He was born to ride pole.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he was.
Let's take another look.
Look at that grip on that shaft, and right there.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, rides it all the way to the end.
VIC ROMANO: That's the only way to ride pole, Ken.
All the way to the end.
TREVOR: Get down.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, Trevor Tights.
He teaches balloon puppetry to self-abusers.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh, and he's also gonna be our MXC Impact Replay.
Let's take another look, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: There you can see his years of self-abuse have weakened his wrist muscles.
He just couldn't hang on.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are, Ken.
Let's take a look at it one more time.
There is nothing more pathetic than a man who has over-handled himself.
DUDLEY: I'll eat anything.
VIC ROMANO: There's Dudley Harrelson, author of the book, Surviving the Mohave with only a spoon and a pair of panties.
And there he goes, [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh.
Let's see that again.
Good takeoff, good firm grip, good shaft flexing [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And there's the problem, Vic, he didn't land on the platform.
VIC ROMANO: Insightful as always, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Thank you.
TIM: Free range love.
VIC ROMANO: And that's Doctor Tim Cloven.
He teaches animal husbandry and alternative livestock living.
Oh.
He couldn't keep his pole up, Ken.
TIM: My eyes, my eyes, my eyes.
VIC ROMANO: And next up, big game taunter Ron Muir, he won Sinkers and Floaters, let's see what he does here.
There's his takeoff.
RON: Oh.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh.
Overshoots the platform.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You suck.
I'm taunting him, Vic.
BIANCA: I'll do my best.
VIC ROMANO: And here's professor Bianca Gerardo.
She teaches hemline management for big boned gals at the Downey Institute of Fashion.
Sizes up her approach, and there she goes, [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
right in the water, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Looks like a fireman.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are.
She definitely skirted success.
And the educators get the shaft, as the outdoorsmen get another win.
ANNOUNCER: Coming up next on MXC, the hits and the falls continue.
ANNOUNCER: MXC is back with our big finale.
It's educators versus outdoorsmen.
VIC ROMANO: The outdoorsmen are leading three to one, so you might think this game's over.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: If I wanted to think.
VIC ROMANO: Yes, but fortunately the next game is Log Drop, which is worth three points, so the educators still have a chance because three plus one equals what? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Hot tub party? VIC ROMANO: Hot tub party, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What? [OVERLAP.]
[LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: Uh, never mind, let's get back to the action.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ow.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: [BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Get it on.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Charlie Ten, teaches premed at a remedial junior college.
CHARLIE: Someone call a doctor? VIC ROMANO: There he goes, Ken.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: He, oh, ho, ho.
He's gonna need a doctor.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, let's take another look at that.
There he gets himself in trouble overextending, he breaks his fall with his chin, but - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Turn your head and cough, prescription filled.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed, Ken.
RULA: I'm back in the saddle.
VIC ROMANO: That's Rula Bushnell, she runs a dude ranch for the criminally insane.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh, now she's brain damaged.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Next up, Billy Bennett.
BILLY: Hit me.
VIC ROMANO: Teaches flamboyant [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
techniques to dull blackjack dealers.
And it looks like he got dealt a bad hand.
Let's go to the MXC Impact Replay.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And right here he splits his face, doubles down, and he's dealing from the bottom of the deck.
WHITEY: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Let's go, come on, come on.
VIC ROMANO: And there's Whitey Strong, [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
forest ranger.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What a stiff.
VIC ROMANO: Haven't seen this in a while, that's a creepy crawler.
Oh, and he splits a log and goes down.
ROD: I can fix anything.
VIC ROMANO: That's Rod Rebar.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: I don't believe you.
ROD: No, no I can.
VIC ROMANO: He's an online shop teacher.
And we still have no score, let's see what Rod can do.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Looks like he's in a fix.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
VIC ROMANO: Oh, oh, and this online teacher has logged off.
VIC ROMANO: And here's Zepko Rawlins, he trains night crawlers for tournament fishing.
Nothing worse than lackluster bait, Ken.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: You got it, Vic.
VIC ROMANO: Oh, and he's down.
TAFFY: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
boys, yeah.
VIC ROMANO: Next up, Taffy Letourneau, she teaches advanced biology to supplement her stripper career.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Got any dollar bills, Vic? VIC ROMANO: You can't put a price on this kind of gutsy performance, Ken.
[BACKGROUND NOISE.]
Oh.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: No more lap dances for her.
VIC ROMANO: Right you are.
She gets her tassels in a twist, and right there - KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Gives a little head action right there.
VIC ROMANO: Well, we still have no score.
And coming up- AMBER: Show me your lover.
VIC ROMANO: That's Amber Quivers, she's a log inspector in a forest of ill repute.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: She's a wood hooker? VIC ROMANO: Indeed.
Oh, she's barking up the wrong tree, Ken.
Let's go down to Guy and find out what happened.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, are you all right? You fell so hard.
AMBER: Blew it.
I skinned my kneed, I hit my chest, GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, you hit your chest, let me check [OVERLAP.]
to be sure it's not swollen.
AMBER: [OVERLAP.]
Oh, stop it.
It's not swollen.
GUY LE DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
No, it's okay, it's required.
AMBER: Required by who? Come on.
GUY LE DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
[UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
let me look here.
AMBER: Oh, come on.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Here, let me just measure- AMBER: [OVERLAP.]
Ow.
GUY LE DOUCHE: [OVERLAP.]
Go around here, and - AMBER: [OVERLAP.]
Looks like some kind of crazy dental floss.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, you're a 34A, I thought you were a 34B, you seem bigger on TV.
[LAUGHTER.]
AMBER: [OVERLAP.]
Oh.
Hey honey, he's touching my ladyberries.
GUY LE DOUCHE: Oh, ladyberries, I'll have some on ice cream.
PAT: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
VIC ROMANO: And that's Pat Shuman, acclaimed Driver's Ed teacher, made the films Bloody, Bloody Asphalt, and Brains on the Bumper.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah I got the director's cut on DVD.
VIC ROMANO: Well he may not make the cut here, I'm not sure what he's doing, but I think it's a moving violation.
Oh.
Next up, Mark Muskey.
MARK: For my first song I'd like to do a little ditty for the ladies.
CAPTAIN TENNEAL: Yeah, well not now, maybe on your show buddy, let's go.
VIC ROMANO: And we still have no score, we could go into overtime unless Mark Muskey can do something.
He's a bark number for a tree surgeon.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: I guess you could call him an ana-trees-iologist.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed Ken.
But I think we're gonna call him a winner.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Ho-ho.
VIC ROMANO: And he claims the win for the outdoorsmen, let's take another look.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: And he saves it up into a forced entry, and into a night prowler, and hops across the last remaining logs and he makes it.
Mike clinches the win for the outdoorsmen.
VIC ROMANO: I tell you Ken, that's wroth looking at one more time.
Look at that, right there.
Pops up right into some lumber lunges, to the finish line, and finishes with a happy little wood nymph dance.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Boy you dance like that in the wilderness, you'll get shot.
VIC ROMANO: Indeed he would, Ken.
But we've had another exciting competition, all our players great job today.
And I guess that leaves us with only one thing to do, right Ken? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Yeah [LAUGHTER.]
.
Hot tubbing with girls? VIC ROMANO: No, Kenny, something even better.
It's time for Kenny Blankenship's Painful Eliminations of the Day.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Number ten, Trevor Tights balloon puppeteer, is stretched, twisted and rolled.
Oh look, it's a doggie.
Number nine, Ron Rebar, this online shop teacher is [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
hammered and [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
.
Number eight, Candace Despiseman, a chick who just likes going down.
Number seven, Ethel Grundy, math teacher.
Ethel minus one.
Bye bye Ethel.
At six, Tony Rubens teaches pacing for government employees.
This has workman's comp written all over it.
Number five, Taffy LeTourneau, biology teacher slash stripper.
Most popular class on campus.
And at number four, Ron Muir, big game taunter.
He talks a big game on the stones, but he's man meat with the pole.
And at number there, Vichy Chirac, a French forfeit instructor who surrendered [OVERLAP.]
over and over again.
At number two, Joshua Tree, big game hunter.
Developed the controversial kill and release program.
He's killed and [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
released.
And my most number one painful elimination of the day goes to Jody Macaroni, lunch lady counselor from the Boise Unified school system.
She's gonna need some serious counseling here, 'cause she's folding like Tuesday's taco.
Mm-hmm.
Good eatin'.
That's sick.
VIC ROMANO: Yes, Ken, indeed it was, but it shows the importance of wearing safety headgear, you know.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: [OVERLAP.]
Yeah, but did you see her legs up in the air? [LAUGHTER.]
VIC ROMANO: [OVERLAP.]
Yes, I saw it, but Kenny that's not funny.
KENNY BLANKENSHIP: What are you kidding? Oh, I'm upside down, ooh.
VIC ROMANO: All right, Kenny.
What do we always say? KENNY BLANKENSHIP: Oh yeah, right.
ALL: Don't get eliminated.