Mozart in the Jungle (2014) s04e06 Episode Script
Domo Arigato
1 It's been a long time.
I didn't realize that you were on the judges' panel.
In fact, I'm the head judge.
So you had better behave, you bad dog.
Oh.
Tateo-san.
- Thomas Pembridge.
- Oh.
Listen, I'm a huge fan, particularly of the Goldberg Variations.
Oh, thank you, Thomas-san.
How is the Queens Phil? Oh, uh, what's the Japanese for apeshit? So, are you ready to be judged? Uh, no, not really.
Hailey Rutledge.
Yuki Nakamura.
- Daisuke Ueno.
Hi.
- Hi.
So, what just happened in there? Oh, the priests asked the gods of the shrine to bless the competition.
Cool.
Ah, I'm really nervous.
This is my first time competing.
Oh.
It's my 17th.
- Really? - Yeah.
I came in third once in Rotterdam two years ago.
Yuki came in second.
Well, that's really great.
Not as great as winning.
The last guy who won this is running the Antwerp Phil.
- Do you know him? - Oh, please.
Everyone knows she knows him.
Looks like someone has a pretty good head start.
Sorry.
Who are you? This way, please.
Look at me.
Excuse me.
The, uh, the billionaire elf has arrived.
How do I look? Oh, you know how you look, you vixen.
- Oh, God, what the hell is she doing here? - What? - Hi.
- Hello.
Oh, Master DeSousa.
Fukumoto-san.
Hi.
Hey.
Hello, Betty Cragadale.
- Maestro.
- Hi.
Hello.
I have something for you.
Mozart's Requiem.
Well, I was thinking about the 40th, you know? - You know, yon-ju banme symphony? - Yes.
I like it, I like it.
It's really good, no? - Yes.
- Why don't we do that? Why don't we do that? Oh, I love the 40th, but we're doing the Requiem.
Okay, well, I but he didn't finish the Requiem Because he died.
This is a new version, completed by a very special composer.
Okay.
Okay, well, I'll take a look at it, - but okay.
- Okay, let's go, let's go.
Konnichiwa.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.
Oh, you're telling me.
I get a call asking what I'm doing for dinner the next day.
Next thing you know, I'm on a private jet.
And when I say "private," I'm the only one on it.
Good.
Good.
Because we're going to need every bit of influence to get him to sign that check, so we can break ground.
Absolutely.
In fact, Fugu and I have been talking about some fresh ideas for the new building.
"Fugu"? Ooh, ooh, enough shop talk.
Fugu's about to give a speech, I think.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Yesterday, we awarded scholarships to the Fukumoto Musical Achievers, the best music students in Japan.
Today, the Fukusoft Conducting Competition begins.
And for a special concert, I am bringing the legendary Maestro Rodrigo DeSousa the world's foremost living interpreter of Mozart, to my hometown of Sapporo to conduct this a new restoration of the score to Mozart's Requiem, where we will unveil a plan not only to keep classical music alive, but to make it truly immortal.
What the fuck is he talking about? It's already immortal.
Shh.
What the hell is that? Hai Lai.
You're ready for this.
Okay? You've trained and practiced, - you've practiced and trained.
Okay? - Yes.
- You're - You're actually making me more nervous.
- All right, okay.
Okay, fine.
- So, maybe you should just let me take it from here.
Are you sure you don't want me there for any mortal support? - No, I love all of your mortal support.
- Okay.
But I want the judges looking at me, not you.
- Okay.
Yeah, okay.
- All right.
Well.
Come here, come here.
- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
You know, it's gonna be really good.
- Thank you.
Hey.
- I'm so proud of you.
Yuki, Daisuke.
- Hi, hi.
- Maestro.
- Yes.
- An honor to meet you.
No, it is an honor to meet you.
Yes.
Any words of advice? Yeah, just go there, and-and really enjoy it.
You know? Just go for it, because all of you guys, you're gonna be conducting amazing orchestras one day, and then it's just gonna go downhill from there.
- Okay.
All right.
- Yeah, but it's just really, the world is really bad right now.
- Hai Lai.
I'm gonna disappear, okay? - Yes? Okay.
So I'll see you - Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Yes.
Okay.
Very excited for you, very happy.
- Thank you.
All right.
- Very happy.
All right? Okay.
Yeah.
Don't be nervous.
Just a little.
- Right? - Whoa.
Hey.
Hi.
Just - It's an honor to meet you.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Are you giving her the evil eye? No.
No, I just had a little itch.
Remember the time I handcuffed you naked to the Steinway in the concert hall in Helsinki? Hmm.
Vaguely.
I think I had the bruises for three months after.
As you can see, the theme of the campus is Buddhism.
I-I really like Buddhism because I think it's the closest thing to an AI simulation.
Both my parents were music teachers and poor.
Uh, my father told me to use music as a way to learn mathematics, which is why I got into computer science and engineering.
And I started playing the French horn and my mom gave me this advice, "Never date an oboist.
" 'Cause they carry knives.
Yeah, to cut the reeds.
So, you've heard that one before? I've heard all of them, man.
Yes, yes.
So, why didn't you want to go to your competition today? Oh, I mean, it's just the first round.
Besides, I am just too excited to introduce you to our composer.
"Composer.
" Who is this mystery composer? Ah, well, here he comes now.
Maestro, allow me to introduce you to the composer who wrote the completed Mozart's Requiem.
This is WAM.
Maestro Rodrigo, what a great honor.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's your name? My name is WAM.
It stands for Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
It's programmed with all of the work that Mozart has written, as well as the recording and videotapes of every single performance ever done of Mozart's work.
Most importantly, WAM can learn.
It has a proprietary deep learning algorithm which allows it to make connections that even we can't see.
That's why it was able to complete Mozart's Requiem so perfectly.
"Perfect.
" Come on, don't Only Mozart can be perfect.
Well, have you looked at it yet, Maestro? Oh, yes, WAM, yes.
I-I I glanced at it.
It is how Mozart would've finished it had he not died.
I'm pleased you will conduct it, after I conduct a short piece.
What, does he conduct? - Just a little.
- I'm learning.
I would like to learn from you.
In particular, I would like to learn about what you call "the blood.
" Oh, no.
No.
The blood? You no, I'm not gonna tell you about the blood, because you have no blood, WAM.
How-how am I ever gonna do that? Well, we'd like you to do a little introduction before the concert.
Hello, I am the famous Maestro Rodrigo DeSousa.
And I come here to introduce to you the technology that will kick some ass and keep music alive No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Well, this little fellow can compose and conduct with the best of us! He's super, super, super, super, super, super smart! No, no, no.
No.
I never said that.
I never said anything like that.
I never did.
No, you didn't.
T-This is a-a CG, uh, simulation of a, you know, an idea of what you might say.
Now, M-Maestro.
I'm not asking you to sing and dance for tacos.
You and I both want the same thing.
We want to keep beautiful music alive forever.
And the way the human race is going, I think WAM is our best shot.
Thank you.
Rutledge.
Hailey Rutledge.
Ooh! What the? Have you dropped something? I dropped an Englishman, 20 years ago.
Well, you're not bloody well picking him up now.
She memorized it.
Mm-hmm.
Maestro.
Your brainwave activity is staggering.
Are you thinking about the blood? I'm actually thinking about my girlfriend.
I don't know how she's doing, you know? Hey, WAM, can-can I tell you a secret? - Yes.
- Come, come, come.
Let's cut the red tape, okay? - Let's cut the red tape.
- What red tape? The fucking red tape.
Come on, let's just cut it.
Do you want to know about the blood? Yes, please.
I would like to know about the blood.
The blood is love, cabrón.
I'm sorry.
I have to go see my girlfriend right now.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Fuku.
I have to go, because my girlfriend, you know? I don't know how she's doing right now.
She's You know, man.
See you soon.
- Ciao, WAM.
- Good-bye.
That's only half of the data.
Maestro! Sign, sign, sign, kudasai! Oh, uh uh Oh.
Okay.
Wait, Gloria.
You need to take your shoes off.
Oh, thank God.
- Hold this.
- Oh, dear God Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Okay.
- That's good.
- Lord.
- There you go.
- What? What the hell? Konnichiwa.
Oh, sorry, darling.
Oh, no, it's okay.
Well, here's to the man of the hour.
Fuku-san.
To learning music.
To teaching music.
To playing music.
And to the new hero of the New York Symphony! Kanpai! Kanpai! Kanpai! Kanpai.
What the fuck am I doing in Tokyo? You're about to win a conducting competition, Hai Lai.
What the fuck am I doing in Tokyo? You are securing a massive amount of financing and you are conducting a piece cowritten by an AI and you are supporting me.
Well, that last thing is the only thing I really care about.
I feel weird that I'm staying in a super, super nice hotel and that everyone else is just staying at a super nice hotel.
Mmm.
Yeah, you're having the and, yeah, the bourgeois' guilt.
Let's go out.
- No - Let's get out right now, yes, yes! Okay? It's Tokyo, come on.
It's good, come on.
Come on.
- There's so many good places here.
- Okay.
I can't believe that they have an entire floor for classical music.
Well, of course, Hai Lai.
I mean, these Japanese people, you know, they-they do things really good, you know? Like you know? I got the, you know, genealogy thing back.
I'm related to Tolstoy and to Meryl Streep.
Yeah, that was delicious.
What number are we on now? Nine courses so far.
Oh, great! Only nine to go.
Hmm.
Maestro Pembridge, is that the, uh, World Culture Prize in Memory of His Imperial Highness Prince Takematsu? Yeah, thank you for noticing.
Yes, I like to call it my bling.
Well, I've never seen a recipient actually wear the medallion.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
Oh.
Gah - Shit.
- Oh.
Let me help you.
Oh.
Mmm.
Thank you.
Oh Here, let me get the the next one.
Oh.
Thank you.
- Oh, dear! Oh, I'm - Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry.
You're gonna love this place.
It's incredible.
It's only for listening to music, okay? No talking.
All right? Just listening.
No talking.
Arigatou gozaimasu.
Maestro.
Hey, congrats on making the cut.
Oh, thank you.
Did you? We both did.
Congratulations.
Dozo, dozo.
I don't want to do an autograph right now.
Hey.
What's it say? "Rodrigo is dead.
I know the truth.
" All these people saying that I'm dead.
But what is this "Rodrigo is dead," thing? Why? Why? Why? Some crazy people believe the real Rodrigo is dead.
Replaced by a shinigami, a death demon.
They can tell because he cut his hair.
- Oi - Oh, my God.
It was a style choice.
You.
Sumimasen.
Hey.
Hey.
I am not dead.
I am not dead! Not dead.
Okay? So Oh, my God.
Ow! Why? It's a baton.
Okay.
- Okay.
- What? He stabbed me with a baton, Hai Lai.
Why? He said, uh, you broke his heart.
Why is Rodrigo gone? Wait, but I'm not gone! I am not gone! I'm here! Darling, I'm crazy The song you choose shows you what is in your heart.
What's in your heart? Well - Ah! - Oh, you're ready to sing! - Fukumoto-san, I will sing - Fukumoto.
if you will make your first donation this week.
Oh, I had planned on it.
But are you really that good of a singer? She's fucking brilliant.
Brilliant! Oh, shut up.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! You keep thinking you've got something for me Something you call love But confess Thomas.
You've been messin' where You shouldn't have been messin' Ooh, yeah And now someone else is gettin' all your best These boots are made for walking And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you Hold onto your hat, Fugu.
It's about to start wailing.
- Give me that.
- No Oh, I'll find my own.
You keep lying when you ought to be Truthing - Okay, buddy.
- You keep losing When you ought to not bet Oh! You keep saming when you ought to be changing Yeah! What's right is right But you ain't been right yet These boots are made for walking And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you.
Maestro.
- Ah.
Hey.
Hey.
- Ah.
Hermano.
Hey, what are you doing here? Ah, I couldn't sleep.
Oh, neither could I.
Yeah.
Gloria wants me dead because a fling from 20 years ago was playing footsie with me.
I mean, I-I quite literally.
Because nobody wears shoes here, do they? Oh, man.
Well, at least you don't have to conduct a robot Requiem tomorrow.
A what? A robot what? Requiem? - Yeah.
- What's-what the? - It's this artificial - What? intelligence that, you know, finished Mozart's Requiem.
What? Yeah, it's like artificial sweetener, you know? - It's I don't understand.
- Ah It's funny they never talk about artificial stupidity.
And I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it, but you know, if we don't do it, then we don't get the money for the new building for the orchestra, you know? And Ah, the travails of leading a cultural institution.
Listen, matey.
I know a nice quiet place where I like to go when I'm stuck here in Tokyo.
It's a good place to think.
If you were me, would you do the Requiem? If I was you, I would sleep with as many beautiful women as I possibly could.
Yeah.
I-I know, I know.
I want-I want, yeah.
I'm on that.
But-but, would you would you do the Requiem? I don't know, I mean 'Cause Mozart told me not to.
What? Who? - Mozart.
- I-I No, it's the noise behind.
What? Mozart told me not to! Oh.
Well.
In that case.
That settles it.
- Ah! - Ah! Konnichiwa gozaimasu.
Thank you so much for being here.
My name is Rodrigo DeSousa, and I am very excited to, uh You're gonna see a super, super, super, super It's a very historic day for classical music.
Or, as I like to call it, "music.
" You're gonna see a robot conduct.
He might be great, or he might be terrible.
He might be the future, or he might be just the nightmare of somebody very hungover.
Maybe.
Anyways.
His name is WAM.
Not in tribute to the great George Michael.
No, it is in the tribute to the great Wolfgang, who I don't know where he is.
Nobody knows, man.
I could-I could really use some derision right now.
He is maybe stoned? No, he's just generally strange.
Can I quote you? No.
Anyways.
Here it is.
WAM! Oh, shit.
It's actually not bad.
I bet I could outdrink it.
- This is fucking creepy.
- I know.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
I think he heard me.
So there's really nothing between you and that awful violinist? Oh, Christ, no.
Maestro.
There will always be a place for human conductors and composers.
Even when with a hundred WAMs in a hundred symphonies across the world.
I'm curious to see how how a robot audience will react.
Maestro, you're up next.
Are you running through the score? Any questions? No, man.
No, I'm just waiting for Mozart to come and talk to me.
Good job up there, man.
- Good? - Hmm.
I was flawless.
Yes, you were flawless.
Yeah.
You were, perhaps, a little bit too perfect, you know? And do-do you know what made the music beautiful? The orchestra.
They w I mean, they were covering up for you.
They were making you look good.
Why would they do that? Because they're professionals, because that's what we do.
You know? We take care of each other, we-we help each other out.
All the time, always.
Let's face it, man.
You would never go past the first round of the competition, ever.
You are saying that because you feel threatened by me.
Threatened by you? - Yes.
- No.
No, I don't feel threatened by you.
I feel threatened by by Beethoven, by Mozart.
I actually feel strong panic right now, because music has stopped talking to me.
Like at all.
You know? I think that Wolfgang would have never finished - the Requiem the way you did.
- He would have.
No.
You, you know very little about Mozart, Maestro.
You can't process data.
Most humans can't.
Well, you know what most robots can't do? No.
Please tell me.
- Do you really want to know? - Tell me.
Most robots can't do this.
Do you want to know? I do want to know.
What can't most robots do? - Swim.
- Interesting.
And wha.
.
?
I didn't realize that you were on the judges' panel.
In fact, I'm the head judge.
So you had better behave, you bad dog.
Oh.
Tateo-san.
- Thomas Pembridge.
- Oh.
Listen, I'm a huge fan, particularly of the Goldberg Variations.
Oh, thank you, Thomas-san.
How is the Queens Phil? Oh, uh, what's the Japanese for apeshit? So, are you ready to be judged? Uh, no, not really.
Hailey Rutledge.
Yuki Nakamura.
- Daisuke Ueno.
Hi.
- Hi.
So, what just happened in there? Oh, the priests asked the gods of the shrine to bless the competition.
Cool.
Ah, I'm really nervous.
This is my first time competing.
Oh.
It's my 17th.
- Really? - Yeah.
I came in third once in Rotterdam two years ago.
Yuki came in second.
Well, that's really great.
Not as great as winning.
The last guy who won this is running the Antwerp Phil.
- Do you know him? - Oh, please.
Everyone knows she knows him.
Looks like someone has a pretty good head start.
Sorry.
Who are you? This way, please.
Look at me.
Excuse me.
The, uh, the billionaire elf has arrived.
How do I look? Oh, you know how you look, you vixen.
- Oh, God, what the hell is she doing here? - What? - Hi.
- Hello.
Oh, Master DeSousa.
Fukumoto-san.
Hi.
Hey.
Hello, Betty Cragadale.
- Maestro.
- Hi.
Hello.
I have something for you.
Mozart's Requiem.
Well, I was thinking about the 40th, you know? - You know, yon-ju banme symphony? - Yes.
I like it, I like it.
It's really good, no? - Yes.
- Why don't we do that? Why don't we do that? Oh, I love the 40th, but we're doing the Requiem.
Okay, well, I but he didn't finish the Requiem Because he died.
This is a new version, completed by a very special composer.
Okay.
Okay, well, I'll take a look at it, - but okay.
- Okay, let's go, let's go.
Konnichiwa.
Oh, what a pleasant surprise.
Oh, you're telling me.
I get a call asking what I'm doing for dinner the next day.
Next thing you know, I'm on a private jet.
And when I say "private," I'm the only one on it.
Good.
Good.
Because we're going to need every bit of influence to get him to sign that check, so we can break ground.
Absolutely.
In fact, Fugu and I have been talking about some fresh ideas for the new building.
"Fugu"? Ooh, ooh, enough shop talk.
Fugu's about to give a speech, I think.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Yesterday, we awarded scholarships to the Fukumoto Musical Achievers, the best music students in Japan.
Today, the Fukusoft Conducting Competition begins.
And for a special concert, I am bringing the legendary Maestro Rodrigo DeSousa the world's foremost living interpreter of Mozart, to my hometown of Sapporo to conduct this a new restoration of the score to Mozart's Requiem, where we will unveil a plan not only to keep classical music alive, but to make it truly immortal.
What the fuck is he talking about? It's already immortal.
Shh.
What the hell is that? Hai Lai.
You're ready for this.
Okay? You've trained and practiced, - you've practiced and trained.
Okay? - Yes.
- You're - You're actually making me more nervous.
- All right, okay.
Okay, fine.
- So, maybe you should just let me take it from here.
Are you sure you don't want me there for any mortal support? - No, I love all of your mortal support.
- Okay.
But I want the judges looking at me, not you.
- Okay.
Yeah, okay.
- All right.
Well.
Come here, come here.
- Oh, I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
You know, it's gonna be really good.
- Thank you.
Hey.
- I'm so proud of you.
Yuki, Daisuke.
- Hi, hi.
- Maestro.
- Yes.
- An honor to meet you.
No, it is an honor to meet you.
Yes.
Any words of advice? Yeah, just go there, and-and really enjoy it.
You know? Just go for it, because all of you guys, you're gonna be conducting amazing orchestras one day, and then it's just gonna go downhill from there.
- Okay.
All right.
- Yeah, but it's just really, the world is really bad right now.
- Hai Lai.
I'm gonna disappear, okay? - Yes? Okay.
So I'll see you - Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Yes.
Okay.
Very excited for you, very happy.
- Thank you.
All right.
- Very happy.
All right? Okay.
Yeah.
Don't be nervous.
Just a little.
- Right? - Whoa.
Hey.
Hi.
Just - It's an honor to meet you.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Are you giving her the evil eye? No.
No, I just had a little itch.
Remember the time I handcuffed you naked to the Steinway in the concert hall in Helsinki? Hmm.
Vaguely.
I think I had the bruises for three months after.
As you can see, the theme of the campus is Buddhism.
I-I really like Buddhism because I think it's the closest thing to an AI simulation.
Both my parents were music teachers and poor.
Uh, my father told me to use music as a way to learn mathematics, which is why I got into computer science and engineering.
And I started playing the French horn and my mom gave me this advice, "Never date an oboist.
" 'Cause they carry knives.
Yeah, to cut the reeds.
So, you've heard that one before? I've heard all of them, man.
Yes, yes.
So, why didn't you want to go to your competition today? Oh, I mean, it's just the first round.
Besides, I am just too excited to introduce you to our composer.
"Composer.
" Who is this mystery composer? Ah, well, here he comes now.
Maestro, allow me to introduce you to the composer who wrote the completed Mozart's Requiem.
This is WAM.
Maestro Rodrigo, what a great honor.
- Hi.
- Hi.
What's your name? My name is WAM.
It stands for Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
It's programmed with all of the work that Mozart has written, as well as the recording and videotapes of every single performance ever done of Mozart's work.
Most importantly, WAM can learn.
It has a proprietary deep learning algorithm which allows it to make connections that even we can't see.
That's why it was able to complete Mozart's Requiem so perfectly.
"Perfect.
" Come on, don't Only Mozart can be perfect.
Well, have you looked at it yet, Maestro? Oh, yes, WAM, yes.
I-I I glanced at it.
It is how Mozart would've finished it had he not died.
I'm pleased you will conduct it, after I conduct a short piece.
What, does he conduct? - Just a little.
- I'm learning.
I would like to learn from you.
In particular, I would like to learn about what you call "the blood.
" Oh, no.
No.
The blood? You no, I'm not gonna tell you about the blood, because you have no blood, WAM.
How-how am I ever gonna do that? Well, we'd like you to do a little introduction before the concert.
Hello, I am the famous Maestro Rodrigo DeSousa.
And I come here to introduce to you the technology that will kick some ass and keep music alive No.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
Well, this little fellow can compose and conduct with the best of us! He's super, super, super, super, super, super smart! No, no, no.
No.
I never said that.
I never said anything like that.
I never did.
No, you didn't.
T-This is a-a CG, uh, simulation of a, you know, an idea of what you might say.
Now, M-Maestro.
I'm not asking you to sing and dance for tacos.
You and I both want the same thing.
We want to keep beautiful music alive forever.
And the way the human race is going, I think WAM is our best shot.
Thank you.
Rutledge.
Hailey Rutledge.
Ooh! What the? Have you dropped something? I dropped an Englishman, 20 years ago.
Well, you're not bloody well picking him up now.
She memorized it.
Mm-hmm.
Maestro.
Your brainwave activity is staggering.
Are you thinking about the blood? I'm actually thinking about my girlfriend.
I don't know how she's doing, you know? Hey, WAM, can-can I tell you a secret? - Yes.
- Come, come, come.
Let's cut the red tape, okay? - Let's cut the red tape.
- What red tape? The fucking red tape.
Come on, let's just cut it.
Do you want to know about the blood? Yes, please.
I would like to know about the blood.
The blood is love, cabrón.
I'm sorry.
I have to go see my girlfriend right now.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Fuku.
I have to go, because my girlfriend, you know? I don't know how she's doing right now.
She's You know, man.
See you soon.
- Ciao, WAM.
- Good-bye.
That's only half of the data.
Maestro! Sign, sign, sign, kudasai! Oh, uh uh Oh.
Okay.
Wait, Gloria.
You need to take your shoes off.
Oh, thank God.
- Hold this.
- Oh, dear God Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Okay.
- That's good.
- Lord.
- There you go.
- What? What the hell? Konnichiwa.
Oh, sorry, darling.
Oh, no, it's okay.
Well, here's to the man of the hour.
Fuku-san.
To learning music.
To teaching music.
To playing music.
And to the new hero of the New York Symphony! Kanpai! Kanpai! Kanpai! Kanpai.
What the fuck am I doing in Tokyo? You're about to win a conducting competition, Hai Lai.
What the fuck am I doing in Tokyo? You are securing a massive amount of financing and you are conducting a piece cowritten by an AI and you are supporting me.
Well, that last thing is the only thing I really care about.
I feel weird that I'm staying in a super, super nice hotel and that everyone else is just staying at a super nice hotel.
Mmm.
Yeah, you're having the and, yeah, the bourgeois' guilt.
Let's go out.
- No - Let's get out right now, yes, yes! Okay? It's Tokyo, come on.
It's good, come on.
Come on.
- There's so many good places here.
- Okay.
I can't believe that they have an entire floor for classical music.
Well, of course, Hai Lai.
I mean, these Japanese people, you know, they-they do things really good, you know? Like you know? I got the, you know, genealogy thing back.
I'm related to Tolstoy and to Meryl Streep.
Yeah, that was delicious.
What number are we on now? Nine courses so far.
Oh, great! Only nine to go.
Hmm.
Maestro Pembridge, is that the, uh, World Culture Prize in Memory of His Imperial Highness Prince Takematsu? Yeah, thank you for noticing.
Yes, I like to call it my bling.
Well, I've never seen a recipient actually wear the medallion.
Oh.
Well, thank you.
Oh.
Gah - Shit.
- Oh.
Let me help you.
Oh.
Mmm.
Thank you.
Oh Here, let me get the the next one.
Oh.
Thank you.
- Oh, dear! Oh, I'm - Oh, my gosh.
I'm so sorry.
You're gonna love this place.
It's incredible.
It's only for listening to music, okay? No talking.
All right? Just listening.
No talking.
Arigatou gozaimasu.
Maestro.
Hey, congrats on making the cut.
Oh, thank you.
Did you? We both did.
Congratulations.
Dozo, dozo.
I don't want to do an autograph right now.
Hey.
What's it say? "Rodrigo is dead.
I know the truth.
" All these people saying that I'm dead.
But what is this "Rodrigo is dead," thing? Why? Why? Why? Some crazy people believe the real Rodrigo is dead.
Replaced by a shinigami, a death demon.
They can tell because he cut his hair.
- Oi - Oh, my God.
It was a style choice.
You.
Sumimasen.
Hey.
Hey.
I am not dead.
I am not dead! Not dead.
Okay? So Oh, my God.
Ow! Why? It's a baton.
Okay.
- Okay.
- What? He stabbed me with a baton, Hai Lai.
Why? He said, uh, you broke his heart.
Why is Rodrigo gone? Wait, but I'm not gone! I am not gone! I'm here! Darling, I'm crazy The song you choose shows you what is in your heart.
What's in your heart? Well - Ah! - Oh, you're ready to sing! - Fukumoto-san, I will sing - Fukumoto.
if you will make your first donation this week.
Oh, I had planned on it.
But are you really that good of a singer? She's fucking brilliant.
Brilliant! Oh, shut up.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! You keep thinking you've got something for me Something you call love But confess Thomas.
You've been messin' where You shouldn't have been messin' Ooh, yeah And now someone else is gettin' all your best These boots are made for walking And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you Hold onto your hat, Fugu.
It's about to start wailing.
- Give me that.
- No Oh, I'll find my own.
You keep lying when you ought to be Truthing - Okay, buddy.
- You keep losing When you ought to not bet Oh! You keep saming when you ought to be changing Yeah! What's right is right But you ain't been right yet These boots are made for walking And that's just what they'll do One of these days these boots Are gonna walk all over you.
Maestro.
- Ah.
Hey.
Hey.
- Ah.
Hermano.
Hey, what are you doing here? Ah, I couldn't sleep.
Oh, neither could I.
Yeah.
Gloria wants me dead because a fling from 20 years ago was playing footsie with me.
I mean, I-I quite literally.
Because nobody wears shoes here, do they? Oh, man.
Well, at least you don't have to conduct a robot Requiem tomorrow.
A what? A robot what? Requiem? - Yeah.
- What's-what the? - It's this artificial - What? intelligence that, you know, finished Mozart's Requiem.
What? Yeah, it's like artificial sweetener, you know? - It's I don't understand.
- Ah It's funny they never talk about artificial stupidity.
And I don't want to do it.
I don't want to do it, but you know, if we don't do it, then we don't get the money for the new building for the orchestra, you know? And Ah, the travails of leading a cultural institution.
Listen, matey.
I know a nice quiet place where I like to go when I'm stuck here in Tokyo.
It's a good place to think.
If you were me, would you do the Requiem? If I was you, I would sleep with as many beautiful women as I possibly could.
Yeah.
I-I know, I know.
I want-I want, yeah.
I'm on that.
But-but, would you would you do the Requiem? I don't know, I mean 'Cause Mozart told me not to.
What? Who? - Mozart.
- I-I No, it's the noise behind.
What? Mozart told me not to! Oh.
Well.
In that case.
That settles it.
- Ah! - Ah! Konnichiwa gozaimasu.
Thank you so much for being here.
My name is Rodrigo DeSousa, and I am very excited to, uh You're gonna see a super, super, super, super It's a very historic day for classical music.
Or, as I like to call it, "music.
" You're gonna see a robot conduct.
He might be great, or he might be terrible.
He might be the future, or he might be just the nightmare of somebody very hungover.
Maybe.
Anyways.
His name is WAM.
Not in tribute to the great George Michael.
No, it is in the tribute to the great Wolfgang, who I don't know where he is.
Nobody knows, man.
I could-I could really use some derision right now.
He is maybe stoned? No, he's just generally strange.
Can I quote you? No.
Anyways.
Here it is.
WAM! Oh, shit.
It's actually not bad.
I bet I could outdrink it.
- This is fucking creepy.
- I know.
Yeah.
Oh, Jesus.
I think he heard me.
So there's really nothing between you and that awful violinist? Oh, Christ, no.
Maestro.
There will always be a place for human conductors and composers.
Even when with a hundred WAMs in a hundred symphonies across the world.
I'm curious to see how how a robot audience will react.
Maestro, you're up next.
Are you running through the score? Any questions? No, man.
No, I'm just waiting for Mozart to come and talk to me.
Good job up there, man.
- Good? - Hmm.
I was flawless.
Yes, you were flawless.
Yeah.
You were, perhaps, a little bit too perfect, you know? And do-do you know what made the music beautiful? The orchestra.
They w I mean, they were covering up for you.
They were making you look good.
Why would they do that? Because they're professionals, because that's what we do.
You know? We take care of each other, we-we help each other out.
All the time, always.
Let's face it, man.
You would never go past the first round of the competition, ever.
You are saying that because you feel threatened by me.
Threatened by you? - Yes.
- No.
No, I don't feel threatened by you.
I feel threatened by by Beethoven, by Mozart.
I actually feel strong panic right now, because music has stopped talking to me.
Like at all.
You know? I think that Wolfgang would have never finished - the Requiem the way you did.
- He would have.
No.
You, you know very little about Mozart, Maestro.
You can't process data.
Most humans can't.
Well, you know what most robots can't do? No.
Please tell me.
- Do you really want to know? - Tell me.
Most robots can't do this.
Do you want to know? I do want to know.
What can't most robots do? - Swim.
- Interesting.
And wha.
.
?